Living (and the lack thereof)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 มิ.ย. 2024
- Something that's really had my heart in a twist today
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#improvement #selfimprovement #changeyourlife #change #startnow #manifesting #manifestation #selflove
I've always been very ambitious and have felt like I needed to achieve certain goals or do something specific to become better and be appreciated. But always being mindful of goals and the obligation to do things in order to reach certain goals has only brought anxiety and low self esteem. Lately life brouhgt harsh times and I thought about how I was so put in thinking and overthinking. I could not taste food properly, could not feel joy, because I was just out of the moment with my thoughts. I tried meditating to try and train my mid to be more mindful and present and enjoy life more. I arrived to a conclusion that meditation really helps to train the mind, but in order to get to real enjoyment you are given the chance to bring conscience into everything you do. I've discovered that I can control and shift my attention when going for a walk and use my 5 senses to be present. Feel the touch of the floor under your feet, the gentle breeze on your skin, the smell of dry leaves, the sight and sounds of nature, even the flavour of the food you eat becomes different.
Our 5 senses are necessary in order to do basic human stuff, but it also can be used to enjoy things as they truly are. If you can mix those 5 senses with a sense of letting go of control or expectations, even the slightest change can surprise you. I think of it as being a curious toddler again. Being present and opening the mind, even if it's just for 15 minutes really changes how you feel.
I have also found that when you do that, the process to a certain goal becomes the focus. It's good to have goals that align with who you are or who you want to be, but the result is just a mere moment in an infinite succession of events.
So the conclusion here is that if you live mindfully, adapting each step of the process in a way that you can enjoy, and focus on enjoying and living each moment and step, results will come alone, bringing another type of joy. However, a sense of fulfilment and joy will forever be present even before that goal is reached.
genuinely thank you so much for this comment. i forget that my senses bring me back to the present and needed this reminder. i've been using this advice since reading this comment and it is so helpful. not everything can be solved with enforcing mental games and logic and i think i need to be reminded of that sometimes. thank you🩵
I think this is my favorite kind of content, hahaha. Not hearing some motivational speaker talking down on the masses from a mountain of success and money. Just a regular person talking from the heart. I hope you're successful, and it goes without saying, I think you have a good outlook.
thank you :)
Loving the idea about external bonus❤
One of the few thought leaders out there that I am actually willing to follow
Thanks for the precious advice. I used to feel the same way.
I used to have this morbid vision of things - that if you work really, really hard - you can empty your todo list and then can be happy and do fun things.
But that couldn't be farther from the truth. What works for me - i embrace the fact that I'll always have something to do but still allow myself to relax and have fun in life.
And I feel grateful that there are so many things I want to learn, so many things I want to create. I write all my ideas so I don't have to remember them.
And I'll get them done eventually.
Both being on your way from A to B and just feeling inspired to make the journey are as valuable as being at B. I really wish this were a social norm.
Thank you so much for inspiring me and giving me the confidence to grow my channel. I just typed notes of talking points on my phone.
i think we should stop squandering our lives trying to make people think we're normal. let's start living and stop simply existing :)
"I can't have my life in the hands of those who cannot see my vision."
-Jordan Howlett
for so long I've lived with having the end goal in mind for every task- and it's made starting anything I was passionate about seem like a chore.
still haven't found a way to get past that sort of mindset but this video definitely helped
I'm not going to say 'read this book and everything will be clear!', but the book, Education and Ecstasy by George Leonard has a philosophy of learning being a life-long experience that we at times may need to remind ourselves of in order to be open to the beauty and wonder of the world. Cringe as it might sound discovery through curiosity is the foundation of understanding, and it is what we know that defines us, and what we don't know that motivates our inquisitive nature to seek out the unknown.
I'm definitely someone who feels I constantly have to grind. I'm out of college and jobless. I'm out of shape. I'm not in a relationship and I'm putting in effort to develop one. This all hit me after getting high a few times. I'd taken edibles for years and enjoyed them but this time it was mainly panic. Panic that I wouldn't get a job. Panic that I'd be out of shape and single forever. I couldn't be content in the moment until my problems were solved. I'd really like to know how I can balance happiness and contentment with working on my goals, because this effort is exhausting me.
This is the type of content I wish was on youtube more. I have no doubt others feel the same!
I've been also thinking about this a lot. I realized that my goals were also the external outcome and not actually doing the thing, so now I'm focusing on acting from purpose, not from desire.
I'll be honest, I don't necessarily have any goals for my life. maybe i won't have for quite some time. I'm 17 and have gone through like 3 break ups and 12 friends in the last year alone. been through a lot. I've hurt a lot of people, I still carry that shame and guilt. but I know that if I keep looking into the past I won't forgive myself. what I did is what I did, I can't change that but what I CAN do is not repeat the same damage I've caused others. at this point I don't even care if they deserved it or not. Causing other people pain is not who I am. and I let my self hatred, shame, guilt, and hate control me for far too long. Being told "you're still young don't worry" isn't going to make me feel better. I hold this belief that I am a man and i should be better than my father because he's caused an INSANE amount of damage to people in his life and I'm terrified I'll turn out like him somehow. I don't believe I should be excused for the harm I've caused others but I do believe I'll never make the same mistake again. who i really am is someone truly full of love and kindness. I hate the idea of hurting people and honestly, Sometimes i wish to commit suicide so i can restore some amount of the honor and dignity I've lost by hurting those i loved. But of course that's an extreme solution but honor and dignity is so ingrained into my being i cant ignore it (it was self implemented).
what Im trying to get at here is that i want to experience life with love and everything that defines love. i think there's 7 main components that define every form of true love, charity, imagination, kindness, forgiveness, loyalty, generosity, and patience.
the true love components part comes from a video called "what true love really is" by the School of Life.
sorry this was long and all over the place but i just felt like sharing all this. i'll be stronger and better than i was a month and even a year ago. Ill make sure to not repeat the pain and hurt I've caused others and to learn to forgive myself for these mistakes.
thanks for reading.
This channel is a gem.
A little hidden gem.
This video randomly showed up in my recommended videos but i couldn't agree more. adorable cat by the way
she says thank you
Living
Trying to actually "live" and "experience" instead of just thinking about getting to the end-goal is something I've struggled with for a long time and I'm still training my brain to stop doing that. It's rough. Your content is very relatable and cathartic and hits home for me.
good on you for developing the content of your mind
social media is extremely beyond-repair destructive for lots of people our age. seeing thousands of people showcasing how they “made it” makes us think we’re so behind and pushes us to stop living for the experience and start living to “be someone”.
being a human is about loving, creating, sharing, enjoying, seeing and feeling. kant’s moral philosophy, at its core, has to do with the idea of autonomy, focusing on fairness and the value of the individual. we can take it a step further and say that a person's minimum responsibility is to not do anything that inconveniences other people, and SOCIETY’S responsibility is to allow people to do whatever they want as long as it doesn't inconvenience other people. take that as you will, but my take on it is as long as you live with empathy and love in your heart, there’s no reason for you to feel like you’re behind, or feel like you’ve failed, or feel like you’re not enough. because you are more than enough just by being alive with good intentions.
i like this raw content; it’s very comforting and human. i see a lot of people saying the same. so good job :))
My input about anxiety and the need of "accomplishment":
The "need" of accomplishment usually comes also from anxiety, in this case it's absolutely focused on doing it because you want to accomplish it, maybe for your own ambition or maybe for some other person, or both.
This kind of problem usually comes from how you've been raised, in my case i did have quite a demanding mom, she'd always expect a lot from me, she wanted me to be independant at like 10 years old, she is the original reason of why i know english since like 6 years old, and well, when i started to grow up a bit, she didn't pay me that kind of attention, she wouln't be too much on my back, and i didn't had anybody to push me around in that way, wich had a lot of good and bad things, mainly:
- Since i was a kid, i was raised like that, wich gave me that mentality, and as Leilani says, "unlearning" that kind of mentality it's really hard.
- Thanks to her being always on my back for doing stuff, i just usually waited until she told me to do something to do it, but when she got off, i just was alone, with the mentality of "YOU GOT X UNDONE, YOU NEED TO DO IT", but also waiting for someone's interaction or set of instructions to do it.
And well, about that... Dont worry guys, i'm way better now, it's just that i got off the anxiety, i got off the dependance to do stuff, and many other things, but i'm stull ambitious, there's been months that i literally *forgot* to take a breath and i then would have a setback. Like i start to feel bad but there's nothing to feel bad about and then it's just getting worse, and on that cycle i just give up and spend 4h doing stuff to "relax" and the next day im absolutely chill, and think "oh, i needed a break".
About how to get rid of anxiety?
Depends a lot on your level, thankfully the kind of anxiety that needs meds is waaay beyond the "normal" kind of anxiety. I'd recommend you guys to try this, even if it sounds obvious:
- Sleep between 7:30h and 9h a day. Not too much more, not too much less.
- Dont eat junk, i'm not even asking you to eat healty, just dont eat unhealthy.
- The most life-changing of them all: Excercise, any type and any measure, just SOMETHING.
I remember when i just started the gym, i don't know if this happens to everyone, but the first times i went, i would obviously beat the crap out of myself, but then the next day, aside from the pain, i would feel chill af, it's hard to explain, and i don't remember it too much, but it felt really good, and if i didn't go to the gym for like 3 days or so, i would start feeling "bad" again, and later on i realized that i would feel anxious if i didn't go to the gym, but not because of thoughts like "I NEED TO GO TO THE GYM", just in general, it helps with all kinds of anxiety.
Biologically, anxiety is made for you to take action in something, and the excercise has that component of telling the brain directly "oh, yeah, look: i'm doing something".
And believe me, ANYTHING is better than nothing, there's people that see a 15min walk a day like enough, there's people that go 30min to the gym, or like a 10min jog, maybe you can even do 10 pushups a day in your room AND THAT'S IT, it's as easy as that. The thing is to do something, anything.
That's my input, remember that i'm not a native english speaker so if i use some weird expressions or there's a typo, it's just that.
Have a great rest of your day.
My two cents is by just thinking about mental health you are creating healthy habits down the line. I took the advice long ago that "you are who you surrounded yourself with" I took it very seriously and put a lot of care into staying with good people and holding back "bad" people, not that they where all bad, but if someone is very depressed they can pull you down with them if you aren't careful. I love my friends and they love me and after 6ish years of putting that philosophy to practice I have found myself surrounded by people who cherish me no matter how much self doubt I have.
everyone in our generation is unfulfilled. both men and women. its almost as if society is failing us.
I believe in u
My input on "living life":
This may sound old-fashioned. But it's just about how MUCH we are stimulated nowadays, specially from the internet.
In a more elaborated way to say it, you need to limit the amout of dopamine you use up through your day, but without going absurdly deep on it:
- You should stop doing stuff that is just straight up dopamine, like doomscrolling(tiktoks/reels/shorts).
- Now that you do stuff that isn't constant dopamine, the stuff that gives dopamine but not constant, just tone it down, don't binge on series, or videogames, or stuff like junk food.
- Take a breath. This "need" of doing something it's because of anxiety, just a deep breath and try to enjoy it, do it conciously. If you don't, THEN it's when you do it "because of the goal".
In general, don't waste your dopamine(pleasure hormone) and take your time doing stuff in general.
I think that's the best way to put it without a paragraph with 7 chapters.
tbh im getting jealous that other people are watching you, this channel is so cool and i feel like ur gonna blow and become famous worldwide anytime this year
Someone worthwhile to familiarize yourself with would be David Foster Wallace. His lecture "this is water" is great for understanding what it means to be present and if you can get through his books "the Pale King" and "infinite Jest" are classics dedicated to specifically the problem you're addressing. It's refreshing to see such an intelligent young women expressing her ideas. It takes courage and humility to admit when you need help but also to still boldly contribute what you can.
thank you so much 🥹. I will check those things out tomorrow. i genuinely appreciate your words and you stopping to tell me these things🩵
A random person that actually has something to say that isn't e-drama, content farming, or a video essay with a sponsorship segment. TH-cam algorithm finally cooked. You cooked. Keep it up Leilani!
Ty :p
Avoid evil. Evil is live spelled backwards.
big fan of the cat
Her name is juniper, she told me to say thank you!!
Cool video
legendary youtube recommendation
What are your goals that you set for your self
👍
we aren't meant to be part of such a large group of thousands or millions or billions... too much going on... smaller tribes was the key... ❤
2:42 lmao
I KNOWWW lol i realized after saying it 😭
Sure you can accomplish external goals to prove a point but at the end of the day you're just letting other people own you and other scenarios own you when you do things for the sake of succeeding opposed to out of your own enjoyment. Step up and own your life.
I really think this is good content and that it will blow up, similair girl on youtube had a video with this topic and blew up within 3 weeks with 150k views and she's a small youtuber so its pretty big. but I do think that this will be a big video because of the authenticity of what she is talking about. I remember to try and take a step back and smell the roses. Have a good day 🖐
aw thank you!! in your honor, tomorrow i'll go out and smell some flowers and be immersed in the experience heheh.
@@junnipres > when you do things for the sake of succeeding opposed to out of your own enjoyment
But what if that "success" is what you enjoy? For example the goal of having a nice job or your own house, seems external, but it is all a matter of what you do with them. If your nice job is fulfilling and your own house is modest and has what YOU like and what other people expect, then what's the problem? E.g. I saved money and bought a nice sensible car. Brand new, no financing, just 21k. I'll keep that car for decades and enjoy the trips with it for all that time, just as I did with the previous family car that lasted 30+ years.
> Step up and own your life.
Yeah, but what does that mean for every person?
Do I have to worry about advertising myself when dating or finding friends?
you don't have a soulmate yet, am i right?😊
I've discovered this channel like 2 days ago, and i find quite peculiar that the topic is always anxiety, u good?
smite
didnt know what this video about but u r cute hehe
from the thumbnail i thought you filmed this from juvy
no, i'm just cosplaying a traffic cone today. do you like it?
The message of the Bible is that no matter how evil you think you are, no matter how far you feel you are from God, you can get right with God. You can go to heaven.
All you have to do is put your full trust in Jesus. The message of the Bible is that Jesus was punished for all the evil things you have done or will ever do. He loved you so much that he was willing to die a horrible, brutal death for what you did. He was punished for your actions. If you believe in him and trust him you will have eternal life with God. You will not go to hell because Jesus already went for you.
All you have to do is trust in Jesus. Nothing else. You don't have to go to church. You don't have to give money to people. You don't have to do anything but believe in what Jesus did. That he sacrificed himself for you so that you could go to heaven.
yo
sounds like you watched "Everything Everywhere All at Once" or played "Sanabi" because you quote it or maybe I'm spouting stuff I like that are relevant due to being common philosophical ideas
Naturally, my original comment was automatically deleted by the modern equivalent of Nazis. I love being the modern equivalent of a Jew.
you are cute 😅
thank you!!
DBDR would love to have you in his live. Perfect Doomer couple
first time i heard a woman speak for more than 5 minutes, you all are an intriguing species to behold. Passionately Capricious
You'll be famous