I always contend that the man who incessantly talks about being an alpha male, IS NOT ONE! The man who quietly and humbly protects and provides for those he loves- now that's a true alpha. Getting the job done.
This is exactly why when my new therapist asked me what I was looking for from our sessions, I told her "homework". After trying 3 therapists before her, I knew that simply discussing and rehashing my concerns was just me spinning my wheels. I wanted direction and action. And she has done such a wonderful job of providing that. Every week after our sessions she texts me videos to watch or articles to read and I've made the effort to act on that information. I mentioned how I love to write but never do it anymore, so she recommended a blog which I then created and have been writing in every day. I've signed up for classes I never would have found on my own, and my mood has completely changed. Because I'm acting on the things we discuss, not just letting them drift away after my session ends. I'm also less afraid to quit doing something if I don't feel it's working for me so I can move on to another activity that I may enjoy more. The point is, I'm doing more and talking less. Except for maybe this post. ;)
@@mikafizz1022 The technical/spiritual term used frequently in this space is catharsis. Basically when something is examined fully and honestly by the individual to the point where it no longer has any stone to be unturned and understood, and thus you are able to incorporate it into your being and move forward. Very much the benefit of 'work through problems rather than the common phrase of 'get over it' that you may hear so much in society today :)
@@MaddaTheApache Oh, I didn't realize catharsis was a process of understanding and living something learnt fully! I thought catharsis was just a validating sense of healing and emotional honesty/vulnerability! I'd love yo hear more of your thoughts if you have any!
@@laquzoeshiyasha hmmm, well I meant more specifically a type of forgetting especially when it comes to therapy. I forget alot of things my therapist says that clicks with me
When your book came out, all the people from my school were buying it and posing for photos with it. I was too poor to buy it back then but I wanted to read it anyway. I think that was the first time when I heard about self help, and I wanted to help myself. A few months later, I found out that not many people in my school actually read the book but were still posing with it. So I gathered all my courage and asked someone to lend it to me, so that I could read it. They were nice people and lent it and the book was something that helped me a lot. I am glad that the author now says, That I only need to read 1 book. I'd like to make things happen now, thank you very much.
I forget who said this but I remember hearing a piece of advice once about self help books: don't read another self help book until you've integrated the advice of the last one you read into your own life. This way it forces you to actually start doing and not just reading. I wager if more people treated self help books like this then they would seldom need more than their first one.
Yes I did this with quitting alcohol books. After 2 best sellers I didn't need to read anymore. One focused on cognitive behavioral therapy and the other had exercises to strengthen my resolve. I got into some sobriety memoirs but after a while realized they're kind of a waste of time.
The only way to truly implement the stuff is to attend the author's course - aka $5000 you'll never get back. If your life still sucks and you're still not happy, buy the author's second book and attend Level 2 & 3 of the course. *Insert meme*
I'm 32 and spent the last 8 years trying to improve myself by learning, and I couldn't agree more with this video. I got to a point a few years ago when I realized I had plenty of knowledge but I wasn't practicing, I stopped reading immediately and focused on putting it to practice, that definitely was an inflection point. Just embrace the difficulty guys, embrace the boredom, accept all the thoughts and emotions as they are, don't try to be perfect, just fuckin do it little by little. I'm glad to see on youtube this fresh, non-shitty, personal development content, great work Mark🙌.
what it really comes down to is just breaking out of your comfort-zone. self-help books like mark's are a good first step and further learning by reading more challenging books is a good second step. you should be constantly increasing the difficulty as you go, with both your learning and your practice. that way it is actually making progress whatever you choose to do. and you can get better at doing by learning but only if you are already doing to begin with, and by learning along with your doing you increase your progress exponentially and your brain forms many more new connections.
I think this is a misunderstanding of learning. Reading those books caused you to actually put them into practice. There’s a digestion period in your brain in terms of learning so that moment you suddenly decided to put them into practice is basically those books actually being digested and sorted out in your brain. Causing that spontaneous feeling
"Learning as a replacement for doing." Uh-oh, I think I'm guilty of that! Thank you for a thought-provoking video, and I look forward to seeing what you have in store for us this year.
what about people who think everything is a scam, I found a book and bought it, it talks about business and don't buy more for those of us who want to achieve something
Honestly, sometimes, self help books just give me anxiety, pressuring me to change instead of validating my feelings. Sometimes people just need time to apply this change in their lives.
I mean improvement comes from validation first If u are uncomfortable with yourself changing becomes harder as u feel pressure that u are a peice of shit and u need to make something great of yourself for the time u have lost But accepting urself and ur current state and doing and improving for the sake of improvement not only makes it easier but effective because u do it not to prove ur worth or ur existence but to be a better self each passing hour or day Keep going things will get better if u try ❤
Yeah, I've seen that quite a lot. The pressure of never being allowed to be where you are at the moment, with the flaws and strenghts you have. Always needing to move and get better. Many people want stability to begin with.
the book that changed my approach to money is The Comic Guide to Financial Bombs all recommendations. It's completely different from anything I've read so far.
The thing that you do so well Mark is make ideas digestible. You also just tell it how it is and don’t beat around the bush. The use of the idea of honesty throughout your book has been something I strive for
I think it's also important to note the role of community here. The books help us feel as if we are not alone. It's hard to keep going to the gym if you are by yourself and only living for yourself. But when you are connected to people at the gym, it's easier. Or more generally, when you are connected to people on a search for what it means to love one another and give goodness in the world, then suddenly the books are not the lifeline anymore -- the experience shared within community is the lifeline, and it is a far stronger, far more motivating lifeline.
This is so true! I recently moved to a new city and switched my career. It's very lonely! I feel like doing so many things and wish I had a friend or a group to do it with
YES!! community is the foundation of society and capitalism is the antheiss of communtiy. we all have to unlearn hyper individualism as we’ve been surrounded by it our entire lives. thank you sm for this comment!!
Thank you for this great video Mark In my experience, self-help content was helpful in rewiring some of my beliefs. Things like my frustration with not reaching my goals as I'd hoped was rewired into "good things take effort and time". My anxiety of comparing myself to others was rewired into "I don't see the full picture and I'm grateful for the simple things I got" After a while I started searching for more content and sharing the same messages to people around me, which was helpful to some, but annoying to others because I didn't realize how none of this was news to most people. I was just resistant to other sources of advice in the past like my parents and religion. Things started getting better only after I decided to live by these things instead of just reading and talking about them.
Learning is meaningful only when what you've learned is applied (you call it "doing"). Otherwise, it's just a substitution for "applying". Not the self-help books suck, but the readers who do nothing after the last page. This opinion is based on my own experience - I am who suck, not the book ! Thanks, Mark !
Very well said. Very true. All of it. I think all self help books can be summed up like this: You have problems. Identify them. Take action to fix them.
Something that changed my life from your book was that a suspicious person will never be proven wrong they'll only think they haven't been proven right yet.
My dad read your book and gave it to me , as a 14 year old I was getting all the information from your book for the first time and I think that’s the reason your book changed my mindset in life, thanks for making a good book by the way.
Great...and right on points made in this video. As an old guy with years of experience in the "self-help" arena, I will say the number one...first step forward is for people to determine what it is that they really, really, want to accomplish.
I totally agree with the points being made here. That said, I admit I haven't read a ton of self help books, but I find that the ones that seem to be most useful (or at least the most interesting) actually just serve to crystalize vague, nebulous, ill-defined thoughts or ideas that have been rattling around in the dark corners of my mind. Sometimes gaining that clarity of thought is a helpful step by itself. But he's absolutely right - the hard part, the REALLY hard part, is then putting that clarity of thought into action. Keep it up, Mark - good stuff here!
5:53 I'm so glad this is a statement. Very much true that dealing with discomfort while trying new things holds so many people back, including myself. The negative feeling held me back before I could recognize any progress made, so I avoided everything. I get the reading urge. To see accomplished people while you're mentally and emotionally inept...it helped that the simple skill of reading was a way forward. It got me to see their perspectives and realize those greats had massive fuckups not commonly mentioned. It did get to a point where everyone was saying the same stuff, meaning I had to actually do stuff or get stuck in comfort reading.
That author that sold you a book for self help, then tells you this wasn't new, it just got packed up nicely, thus it feels new, now tells you that his courses will help you to improve because they are not like the others. Dude packed it up nicely again. Gotta love that man :D
I think "subtle art" was my first and last self-help book. I read it for a book club a few years ago and when I realized I was the only one who really resonated with the packaging, I officially decided to go to therapy lol anyway I'm at a point now where I'm putting more things into practice and actively challenging my thoughts, so I'm excited to see what more vids you'll make !
I'm reading the subtle art and thought why to read 100 books when you can practice from 1 book 100 books are saying the same thing but in different way !!
I said something similar to this on the cover of my new self-help book, ‘How To Win At Life’. George Orwell said “The best books are those that tell you what you already know” 😉
It’s the first self-help book I’ve read (just finished a few minutes ago, actually). And already in the first chapters I knew that’s gonna be the only one for now - ‘cause all the mental shifts I needed right now - it gave me - the rest? Is in actually doing, exercising, actively changing your life. Not something reading words on paper can help with much ❤️ so thank you for solidifying it for me, looking forward to “challenges”
I read lot of books and I take notes on important points or suggestions given by the author. And when any adversity strikes I read all those points I have written from the book. So that I am motivated to do the necessary actions required I take notes and categorise it into different themes like courage , self compassion , confidence etc... So if I am facing any difficulty in these areas I will refer to my notes
You have perfectly explained something that I have been reflecting on for a long time without finding a solution. I admire you so much. i’m so excited with your future content. 💗
I agree 100% with the message I did a video couple of months ago with a bit of criticism towards your book, but it was not mentioned to express hate. The message in this video is needed, and this is most definitely the way it should be taken forward with people who express interest and help in self-help material. I most definitely am gearing my content and teaching in that same direction given my irrelevance currently. -Thank you for sheding the light that needed to be drawn in hidden dark places 👍
I only got aware of this because of my friend, she wouldnt follow my advice but when her bf told her the exact same thing, my advice got wiped out and she made me feel that her bf is the best person ever. At the end of the day, im just glad that she’s doing great for herself, what i love finding your own way to help yourself is that we have lots of passages to try. Im just glad that i dont need to go to some higher being to help myself. Id rather spend for myself rather than giving offering to some religion, i was definitely happy during that religious part of my life but im also happy now knowing that i dont need to.
Mark. i enjoyed listening to this. you remind me of myself. simple and honest. let me tell you this. i hate to read, so i never read much from self help books. but from watching this, i realized something, that i don't need help. i have a good family and friends. plenty of $$. feel good in my own skin. so thanks for helping me to realize this.
Thank you man, for being such a great influence in my life. Altho I agree with what you say: action is better than theory, you helped me get some courage, that was needed for the action. I think thats why so many of us get stucked at just learning, we lack confidence sometimes... and we strive to scrape some by reading and learning.
After sitting on my ass for two years being depressed I decided to get up and go back to the gym. Since January 2nd I’ve missed 5 days of working out. Your book has helped me a lot, but I’m the one doing the work. Thanks for the motivation.
You're just on point. I noticed the same thing when I started buying books about decluttering, and ended up cluttering my space with decluttering books.
I was always questioning why all the people can't be succesful when there is alot of self improvement books and everyone can read it And there is alot of content creators talk about it too That video just answered me. it's just about ... Taking action
I saw Neil Degrasse Tyson state that if you go to a library there are only a few books on gravity because we know all about it. But if you look at other topics like self help/mental health there are copious amounts. To paraphrase, he said that's how you know we don't know much about a subject because there is no definitive answers it's all conjecture. For example look back to the ancient world to read about stoicism but there are still modern authors discovering the subject and adapting it into self help books.
I agree a lot with this. Most self help books suck, but there are a few that are so fantastic. My two cents on this subject is that everybody's different. Everybody is slightly different in terms of what they believe, what personality they have, what their strengths and weaknesses are, what they're interested in; and so on. I think ultimately everybody should read self help books in order to gain new perspectives, but at the same time realize that we all have our different journeys to go on.
This is why i need a companion more than a reading session 😂 im too dependent on someone's presence-knowing i have an intimate role model i can mirror while also understanding these concepts for self-help. Changing a mindset is one thing, physical presence is another.
@ 0:32, Mark says, "Nothing new said in these books." Bob Dylan and Sam Shepard co-wrote Brownsville Girl and said, "If there's an original thought out there, I could use it right now." Someone else said, "Don't mistake activity for achievement."
In the end "Only You Can Help Youself". No self-help book can save you. It can guide you, but ultimately you have to use your own judgement in any given situation. 👍🏻
I felt attacked throughout most of that. Lol. My favorite philosophies were packaged by Earl Nightingale, and like you said, it helped for a while, but didn't last. "Atomic Habits" by James Clear introduced a lot of systems that made more lasting results.
My first self help book was Atomic habits which I read a few months ago and it seemed like life's gonna change and now after being aware about the ideas in atomic habits, I don't actually implement them I was having that motivation at the time of reading Now I was gonna search for a new self help book and this video appeared From your advice, should I read atomic habits again or do something else?
@fanblock to me, that depends on whether you read the physical book, or listened to it. If you listened to it, try reading it. I think we all struggle to maintain motivation at times. For me, the systems in Atomic Habits helped me to end two bad habits that I'd had for most of my life. But starting GOOD habits has been touch and go. If you decide to read something else instead, I might recommend "Stolen Focus" by Johann Hari, or "No Excuses" by Brain Tracy. And it would be rude of me if I didnt recommend "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck", but I'm guessing you may have already read it, considering whose channel we're talking on.
@@matthewperry8057 yup I read the book physically and while I was reading it, my bad habit of using phone at night and sleeping late was gone and even I started journalist everyday but now those habits are gone after few days of completing the book and I have read only that book So what do you suggest in implementing those habits as I find it hard because there's a lot of information which I can't implement together I am looking forward to read it again but now in a different which you may help in making with some tips
@@fanblock_07 when it comes down to it, you just have to do the things you know make you feel better. We have a lot of natural resistance to picking something back up, but once you start doing it it’s easier to continue. So rather than searching for a way to feel good/productive without actually doing the work, like a self-help book, try just forcing yourself to do those things again. It’ll start some momentum and eventually an upward spiral. Just keep hopping on that horse. Doesn’t really matter how long it’s been since you fell off.
@@kaleoscreations Thanks for replying! I will definitely try to restart those habits and I am currently reading the power of your subconscious mind and the interest I had developed before when I was reading atomic habits is no more in this book because I find the ideas contrary. I am 14 y/o student btw.
Wow, turns out I actually call out this sentiment when it comes to the "some people just want to hear it from a manager" situation. Frustrating, but very apt. You are right about all of this, nothing is new, but sometimes it just takes a certain way to click in our brains.
Still early in the year - I needed this honestly. Knowledge with no action is wild but I know I do it. Definitely about to start thinking like this when it comes to self help books and what I’m actually doing in my life. Just reading still hoping for something magical to happen but it doesn’t work like that. Loved your book though!
I am ready for the new change that's going to happen in the channel, Mark what took you so long bringing the reality based stuff to the channel,too excited for it
Completely agree. I’ve purchased alot of self-improvement/help books over the years… they all say the same damn thing… reading the books has become a distraction from actually taking action. So now I read autobiographies instead. At the end of the day, nothing trumps action towards a goal.
The most simple but difficult thing to do is to accept yourself completely, as you are now. But I think in order to do so you first have to go down the rabbit hole of self-help and self-improvement.
I've read a lot of self help books, and with each one I felt this deep sense of "wow, this is mind blowing, what a breakthrough" only to realize that the only real breakthroughs in life are when you get to do something, anything I think books need to be used as a fuel source, but if you don't start the engine and go somewhere, you'll just feel pumped for a while, and then inevitably almost back to square one
i agree that self help books say the same thing often, but the repackaging does have some actual value. a different perspective, a different perception, and different nuanced insights. i don't just read self help anymore, i read science/psychology/history/fitness/nutrition. but i read another self help book every once in a while because i usually find some new insights and thoughts from the different wording or story
That is how I see it. There are commonalities to most of these books but there are some ideas and principles that stand out among the better ones. When you hear the same concept expressed in different ways, from different perspectives, it begins to become more like a core truth. But as in psychotherapy and counseling, one must follow insight with action.
Subtle Art changed my life and meeting you in Atl was a pleasure and an honor. I also appreciate your humility on this topic. Also, the pic of you burning your own book lol. GOAT 👊🏻
I never really saw Mark (or his books) in the “self-help” realm. I explained to my friends that reading his books is like sitting in a psychology/philosophy class and learning from a really awesome professor. I think that’s why I enjoy his books/videos so much. I can’t really improve: I am who I am. I enjoy reading his viewpoints and thoughts though. And I’m curious to see where this new direction of his goes.
You aren't who you are. And by that I mean you shouldn't say "I can't change" and then refuse to do anything even if you see it as an improvement. Saying that you will always be who you are is like looking at yourself through some rusty and dusty goggles. People change constantly and it's illogical to say you can't change. At least that is my opinion.
@@Mani-xo8er agree here the only consistent thing is change. The fun happens when we get curious and just watch the changes take place rather than trying to force them. if that makes sense
I mean if you are extremely honest to yourself that you are absolutely happy at where you are, then you will stay. If not, and you can't stand your current self anymore after taking a honest look in the mirror, you will change.
I had absolutely zero respect for whoever wrote this book and i didn’t even know your name because I hated how self help books got so much hype but they had nothing new. But after seeing this video and watching you admit everything you’re doing and still justify it, I got all the respect. 👏🏼
Very well said. Even I have read many self help and spritual books. Used to wonder why all that does not translate to action. Have felt what you have said. But still continued as it's entertaining not really for change. Well said. Loved your video
This is honestly the best self-help video I've ever seen in my life. Once I had fallen into the self-help industry, I literally bought a dozen books related to self-help, even though I found them arguably impractical at times. Now I've been challenging myself to use and verbalize what I have seen to practice my English. 😀 Apparently, your style of making videos and the production quality are kind of a life saver for me, as your books and videos always convey the same ideas. This helps me stick to the good habit of thinking in English and expressing it in my own words. I really appreciate it! 😆
I feel like being called out so directly!😂 & the memes were so spot on! This is just what I needed to hear. I've been struggling with this self-improvement thingy. I'm kind of addicted to it. Thinking I'm doing good, I'm getting better, which I am, but I'm not solving the immediate problems since I'm not attending them. Anyway. Moving on.... to the next educational youtube video.🤣 Sorry, I just have to feel good about something. Something! I feel overwhelmed with problems right now.
I’m your huge fan 🤩 To continue your analysis what I’m thinking 1. people who buy self-help books don’t seek a new information they need a doze of a new motivation. Sometimes it’s really hard to keep your focus and energy and don’t give up and the most quick way to fulfill that to read a motivational book 2. When you come across with your “difficult” situation you need to find the other human being who pass through the same shit. And you buy book But the big problem for those books that every life every life’s context every person’s biology are different and you can’t repeat the author’s life. But you can take a few advice and maybe it can help
I was into self help since high school. Liked reading and learning all the advice, tips and ideas given. But even after reading tons of them very small progress was made, of course no doubt it was very helpful towards the beginning showing the potential of what we can be, motivating us to action with tips and strategies but most of the time it was only limited to knowledge and no action. Naturally my interest in the books dwindled, i don't read so much more like last time. Now I limit myself to few ideas and try to do those things more. This video has been very insightful in informing the root problem of the self help genre's . I could relate myself to many points as he was explaining and i am sure every one who was in self help could relate to it too. Thank you for providing much better understanding through this video 🤝
My good sir. I’ve read probably 100+ books in the realm of self-help or productivity. I certainly have not made 100+ books worth of progress. Your quote really hits it home. Consumption without application feels like progress, but it ain’t.
I think it really depends on how you go about using self-help books. (And of course, which ones you read. Quite a few are crappily written cash grabs.) While I've read several myself, I've found that doing activities related to what the book teaches, or the exercises they provide, alongside of reading benefits me a LOT more than just reading and jumping to the next one. It helps me digest more and put the advice into action. Including discussing the concept with other people, it's another way to process the advice, to have it really sink in. I've found that over time, my life has gradually, though in significant ways, began to improve. It personally works for me to do things this way, plus I find it interesting to see how different authors re-word the same concepts. Like you said, some end up saying things in a way that clicks when it hadn't before, and I love those moments. I don't think there's anything wrong with enjoying reading self-help books. The important part is to be mindful of yourself when you're doing it. Is it just for fun/curiosity? Or do you want life changes, but things have stayed the same or are worse? It's good to reflect now and then to make sure what you're doing is actually helping! (And go to therapy. lol)
What Wise Words! You seem to have some missing puzzle pieces that elude so many. Learning from experience, a wide variety of teachers, honest self-assessment, charting progress over time, and remaining mindful- Where is the book YOU are authoring? I would buy a few copies to pass out , because I suspect you would teach HOW to think, not WHAT to think. ( I think?) 😉👍
@@TM-np5lq Haha, oh wow, you are too kind xD I appreciate the comment, certainly a great way to start my morning. I don't think I'm qualified to put together a book on this topic, but the enthusiasm is sweet. I hope you have a great rest of your day ^^
Wow! Thanks, Mark. I really appreciate this video. This is the point, really, if self-help book worked you didn't need seven books one would do the job. I got like 10+ self-help books and I'm still looking for buying new ones, LOL. I just need to start working now. Thanks again🖤
0:31 yep, definitely true. I realised this earlier though. So the main reason I read self help books is just to see if someone comes up with something NEW
I used to feel like I watched all these Self Help videos and never got much from them. Until I met someone new and inadvertently started comparing where I was and the things I've implemented into my life. I adapted bit by bit from watching/reading self-help and psychology books. That's when I realized I've been absorbing picking and choosing things over time. Even from this video I think a few things have stuck to the wall if you will. I think that's why I watch and read. Not to solve all my issues or fully optimize my productivity. But maybe add something new that could be helpful.
This is a very powerful video! I agree with the points and I really liked the comparison of self help with cooking and wanting to lose weight; it’s not rocket science but it is difficult to actually commit to it. Very well said! I can’t wait to watch more videos.
I'm currently living with my parents, and I disturb them all day by telling what I read every day. I think, unknowingly, it is a great way to remember what you read. And now I’m currently about 80% through "Playbook to Millions" by Grant Cardone. I have read a lot of entrepreneurial books and self-improvement books, and this book is my absolute favorite. This book is extraordinary and really gets you to work extremely hard toward your goals in life and succeed at multiple different areas like personal finance, business and career. This is an absolute must-buy if you need a push to get you going in business, or you want more out of life.
Dude :0 thanks a lot! The whole Reading about Nutrition while drinking beer and eating pizza concept really smacked in my head. I was thinking about buying more and reading more self help books... geez. I'm grateful for the warning.
the thing i love about your books is that it feels more one to one than any other book ever. while im reading your books its as if im talking to an intelligent friend rather than a stuck up writer. even though English isn't my first language i barely find words that i dont know the meaning to in your books, as i said it feels more one to one
"Learning can feel like progress, even when it's not progress" I already finished writing my book but keep reading other books to see if I didn't miss anything and get my references right. Sure feels like this by now
Self-help is good, but let's not forget that there is always help from other people. If you have reached a point where you are stuck, you can always ask a counselor, mentor, guru, religious leader and even your parents/ elders. All that stops you is your pride and anxiety.
Literally gasped when youu took a bite of floppy-ass pizza with one hand while wearing a white shirt. That was terrifying! Anyway, "simple but hard to do" is the opposite of how I see most people doing things. I see most people WAY over-complicating things and then taking shortcuts. So that, in itself, is some pearls of wisdom.
I love that book. A colleague of my husband from Europol recommended that to him back then in 2017 that I should read it. That was after I had been dehumanised, group bullied and slandered by a group of Filipino women who asked for donations, food, airfare donations, groceries, meals and urgent favours. I got a soft cover copy of it but I bought the audiobook version in 2017 from Audible books. I listened to your narration of The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck for maybe around 4x already. I also lent that book to a journalist and will send a copy of that book to my inner family circle. Thank you so much for the valuable wisdom and coping mechanisms you wrote! They helped me a lot especially when and whom and where and what not to trust! Your book made me more assertive and critical and to stand firm, strong and resilient against those toxic abuses from many aspects of life. ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ multiplied to many exponential forms . . . meaning I'd give more than five stars for your books! Grazie mille! Bravissimo!
I love when books don’t have to take an aggressive approach or what I’ll call “alarm words” for lack of a better term to make sales or grab and hold their readers’ attention. My favourite books are those that outline the inner workings of human behavior and suggest practical methods we can use to steer our lives as best we can. We’re always going to want things we don’t have because that’s in our nature. I’d say the message of this book shouldn’t be seen as “you won’t fail if you don’t try.” (Because you can’t win a game you don’t play) but “stay calm, be patient, and actively find tools to manage your mental health as you work for what you want.”
Psychoeducation is an important part of good therapy for this reason. The books that have said something new to me come from an understanding of how people work or how people can improve that doesn't amount to "*just* do what your family and teachers already taught you" because mine didn't.
Turning thinking into doing content is something I would absolutely love 😊🌼😊! I’m aware that the more answers on a topic you get, the more questions that arise, but I share that there have been so many fun and interesting topics I’ve learnt over the years, only to be disappointed that I had absolutely no idea how to make use of any of the information 😓
awesome channel/video Mark. Much respect. You spoke the truth that nobody will say. every self-help guru will say my idea is new and groundbreaking, etc b.s.
The first self-help book I ever read was yours, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck". At that time, I didn't even know what self help books were I just read it to see what the hype was about. Half-way through reading it, I realized I already know what this guy is saying and that was the first and last time I ever read a self-help book.
Your first books (SAONGAF and Models) helped me kickstart myself over 7 years ago. I was in college. Back then it felt easy to do the things. I lost weight, I found passion, I was beating depression, I had made friends, I had found a niche, I had completed my Master's Degree, wrote a paper, and landed my first job. And now, I've been at that job for 5 years. I have gained the weight back, and the depression seems to have won. My passion ebbs and flows. I wish sometimes I had never moved. The feeling I had at the end of those two years made me the most confident I had ever been. Now I feel like giving up. No self help book seems to give me that same edge I had before, and I think it's because life is much more difficult now or I feel like I have less confidence. I feel like I have travelled so much with you and your ideas. It might be time to try a more difficult tactic of looking at what has made life harder and see what I would need to do to make it easier, because maybe I give too many f**ks again.
“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.” - Marcus Aurelius
I always contend that the man who incessantly talks about being an alpha male, IS NOT ONE! The man who quietly and humbly protects and provides for those he loves- now that's a true alpha. Getting the job done.
@@sarahdee374 Only if there was something like alpha male in the first place.
Ok how
bet we all are amazed by this quote but only a few of us or none will actually put it into practice
@@ayanbhattacharjee1076 I've encountered a few, and enjoyed it very much.
3 things that helped me and literally changed my life
1. I stopped watching porn
2. I read hidden book on kuvelster
3. Stop drinkingg
Hello
@romelynmarapao8835 hi
Would you please share the digital copy of the book?
Thats... Depressingly lame
Yeah, Less can be more
People over 19 who watch porn are losers, cant surround yourself with plebians like that
6:57 "Learning can feel like progress, even when it's not progress"
This whole video summarized.
This is exactly why when my new therapist asked me what I was looking for from our sessions, I told her "homework". After trying 3 therapists before her, I knew that simply discussing and rehashing my concerns was just me spinning my wheels. I wanted direction and action. And she has done such a wonderful job of providing that. Every week after our sessions she texts me videos to watch or articles to read and I've made the effort to act on that information. I mentioned how I love to write but never do it anymore, so she recommended a blog which I then created and have been writing in every day. I've signed up for classes I never would have found on my own, and my mood has completely changed. Because I'm acting on the things we discuss, not just letting them drift away after my session ends. I'm also less afraid to quit doing something if I don't feel it's working for me so I can move on to another activity that I may enjoy more. The point is, I'm doing more and talking less. Except for maybe this post. ;)
Ooh I wonder if there is a terminology to this? The letting the things you learn fade thing
@@mikafizz1022 This phenomenon was first discovered by Plato, its called 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔.
@@mikafizz1022 The technical/spiritual term used frequently in this space is catharsis. Basically when something is examined fully and honestly by the individual to the point where it no longer has any stone to be unturned and understood, and thus you are able to incorporate it into your being and move forward. Very much the benefit of 'work through problems rather than the common phrase of 'get over it' that you may hear so much in society today :)
@@MaddaTheApache Oh, I didn't realize catharsis was a process of understanding and living something learnt fully! I thought catharsis was just a validating sense of healing and emotional honesty/vulnerability! I'd love yo hear more of your thoughts if you have any!
@@laquzoeshiyasha hmmm, well I meant more specifically a type of forgetting especially when it comes to therapy. I forget alot of things my therapist says that clicks with me
When your book came out, all the people from my school were buying it and posing for photos with it. I was too poor to buy it back then but I wanted to read it anyway. I think that was the first time when I heard about self help, and I wanted to help myself. A few months later, I found out that not many people in my school actually read the book but were still posing with it. So I gathered all my courage and asked someone to lend it to me, so that I could read it.
They were nice people and lent it and the book was something that helped me a lot.
I am glad that the author now says, That I only need to read 1 book.
I'd like to make things happen now, thank you very much.
I forget who said this but I remember hearing a piece of advice once about self help books: don't read another self help book until you've integrated the advice of the last one you read into your own life. This way it forces you to actually start doing and not just reading. I wager if more people treated self help books like this then they would seldom need more than their first one.
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But ..the last one advised me to read another self help book 👀
Yes I did this with quitting alcohol books. After 2 best sellers I didn't need to read anymore. One focused on cognitive behavioral therapy and the other had exercises to strengthen my resolve. I got into some sobriety memoirs but after a while realized they're kind of a waste of time.
1 percent better everday
The only way to truly implement the stuff is to attend the author's course - aka $5000 you'll never get back.
If your life still sucks and you're still not happy, buy the author's second book and attend Level 2 & 3 of the course.
*Insert meme*
I'm 32 and spent the last 8 years trying to improve myself by learning, and I couldn't agree more with this video. I got to a point a few years ago when I realized I had plenty of knowledge but I wasn't practicing, I stopped reading immediately and focused on putting it to practice, that definitely was an inflection point. Just embrace the difficulty guys, embrace the boredom, accept all the thoughts and emotions as they are, don't try to be perfect, just fuckin do it little by little. I'm glad to see on youtube this fresh, non-shitty, personal development content, great work Mark🙌.
what it really comes down to is just breaking out of your comfort-zone. self-help books like mark's are a good first step and further learning by reading more challenging books is a good second step. you should be constantly increasing the difficulty as you go, with both your learning and your practice. that way it is actually making progress whatever you choose to do. and you can get better at doing by learning but only if you are already doing to begin with, and by learning along with your doing you increase your progress exponentially and your brain forms many more new connections.
@@env0x 100%
Thanks for this reply because this is exactly I was thinking once I watched this video. 💯
You said it perfectly: fresh and not shitty
That’s Mark!
I think this is a misunderstanding of learning. Reading those books caused you to actually put them into practice. There’s a digestion period in your brain in terms of learning so that moment you suddenly decided to put them into practice is basically those books actually being digested and sorted out in your brain. Causing that spontaneous feeling
"Learning as a replacement for doing." Uh-oh, I think I'm guilty of that! Thank you for a thought-provoking video, and I look forward to seeing what you have in store for us this year.
@Bhut Jolokia same here lmao
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dont wait what he has in store, start right now
u r not alone... myself along with many gonna join u soon
Learning is doing, doing is learning. Not doing is not learning, not learning is not doing.
it’s kinda crazy how nobody’s talking about Genius Hidden Tricks, they are selling 150 self help books for the price of one
It is kind of crazy how people use low grade marketing tactics and think no one sees through it.
Bot comment
what about people who think everything is a scam, I found a book and bought it, it talks about business and don't buy more for those of us who want to achieve something
scam
@@m.e.3614 most people don't
the concept that learning is not always progress is powerful
Learning can feel like progress,even when it's not progress. This hit me in the balls mark ‼️
Does it hurt
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But it also can be progress without feeling like progress.
@@tasawar22 probably
@@laaaliiiluuu Absolutely
this guy always stands for what he says. "be honest." you're a gem mark.
Yo what’s up Kojima
@@specialknees6798 yooo wasap my fellow chainsawman fan
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Silent Hills when?
@@Shadow650Nintendero whenever konami come here and kiss my ass and give me the ip i would be more than glad to make it
Honestly, sometimes, self help books just give me anxiety, pressuring me to change instead of validating my feelings. Sometimes people just need time to apply this change in their lives.
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The question is, why are you looking for validation from a book.
The book isn’t to validate you. It’s “self help”. Not “self coddling” if your car is broken you hire a mechanic not a therapist.
I mean improvement comes from validation first
If u are uncomfortable with yourself changing becomes harder as u feel pressure that u are a peice of shit and u need to make something great of yourself for the time u have lost
But accepting urself and ur current state and doing and improving for the sake of improvement not only makes it easier but effective because u do it not to prove ur worth or ur existence but to be a better self each passing hour or day
Keep going things will get better if u try ❤
Yeah, I've seen that quite a lot. The pressure of never being allowed to be where you are at the moment, with the flaws and strenghts you have. Always needing to move and get better. Many people want stability to begin with.
the book that changed my approach to money is The Comic Guide to Financial Bombs all recommendations. It's completely different from anything I've read so far.
Does anyone else think it's weird that Whispers of Manifestation on Borlest isn't being talked about more?
bot
really good book, my reccomendation
no one gives a fu*k about that scam
I agree so much with this. Anyone can sit down and talk about what you should do, but less people actually do it
You can't really determine that
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Okay? right, but what about the fact that what do you do if you don't know in the first place. Thats where the books purpose comes in, to educate.
The thing that you do so well Mark is make ideas digestible. You also just tell it how it is and don’t beat around the bush. The use of the idea of honesty throughout your book has been something I strive for
I think it's also important to note the role of community here. The books help us feel as if we are not alone. It's hard to keep going to the gym if you are by yourself and only living for yourself. But when you are connected to people at the gym, it's easier. Or more generally, when you are connected to people on a search for what it means to love one another and give goodness in the world, then suddenly the books are not the lifeline anymore -- the experience shared within community is the lifeline, and it is a far stronger, far more motivating lifeline.
Im crying be my friend plz lmao (not being sarcastic) you wrote something that i was thinking of for a long time but can't put into words
This is so true! I recently moved to a new city and switched my career. It's very lonely! I feel like doing so many things and wish I had a friend or a group to do it with
YES!! community is the foundation of society and capitalism is the antheiss of communtiy. we all have to unlearn hyper individualism as we’ve been surrounded by it our entire lives. thank you sm for this comment!!
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Gran comentario
Thank you for this great video Mark
In my experience, self-help content was helpful in rewiring some of my beliefs. Things like my frustration with not reaching my goals as I'd hoped was rewired into "good things take effort and time". My anxiety of comparing myself to others was rewired into "I don't see the full picture and I'm grateful for the simple things I got"
After a while I started searching for more content and sharing the same messages to people around me, which was helpful to some, but annoying to others because I didn't realize how none of this was news to most people. I was just resistant to other sources of advice in the past like my parents and religion.
Things started getting better only after I decided to live by these things instead of just reading and talking about them.
Learning is meaningful only when what you've learned is applied (you call it "doing"). Otherwise, it's just a substitution for "applying". Not the self-help books suck, but the readers who do nothing after the last page. This opinion is based on my own experience - I am who suck, not the book ! Thanks, Mark !
Very well said. Very true. All of it. I think all self help books can be summed up like this: You have problems. Identify them. Take action to fix them.
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Your book planted seed in my head and after few months to years passed i was beginning to see differences in my life.
Hit the nail on the head, this is something I realized myself. Constantly reading these books is nothing but a form of procrastination
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Something that changed my life from your book was that a suspicious person will never be proven wrong they'll only think they haven't been proven right yet.
My dad read your book and gave it to me , as a 14 year old I was getting all the information from your book for the first time and I think that’s the reason your book changed my mindset in life, thanks for making a good book by the way.
Great...and right on points made in this video. As an old guy with years of experience in the "self-help" arena, I will say the number one...first step forward is for people to determine what it is that they really, really, want to accomplish.
I totally agree with the points being made here. That said, I admit I haven't read a ton of self help books, but I find that the ones that seem to be most useful (or at least the most interesting) actually just serve to crystalize vague, nebulous, ill-defined thoughts or ideas that have been rattling around in the dark corners of my mind. Sometimes gaining that clarity of thought is a helpful step by itself. But he's absolutely right - the hard part, the REALLY hard part, is then putting that clarity of thought into action. Keep it up, Mark - good stuff here!
5:53 I'm so glad this is a statement. Very much true that dealing with discomfort while trying new things holds so many people back, including myself. The negative feeling held me back before I could recognize any progress made, so I avoided everything.
I get the reading urge. To see accomplished people while you're mentally and emotionally inept...it helped that the simple skill of reading was a way forward. It got me to see their perspectives and realize those greats had massive fuckups not commonly mentioned. It did get to a point where everyone was saying the same stuff, meaning I had to actually do stuff or get stuck in comfort reading.
That author that sold you a book for self help, then tells you this wasn't new, it just got packed up nicely, thus it feels new, now tells you that his courses will help you to improve because they are not like the others. Dude packed it up nicely again. Gotta love that man :D
I think "subtle art" was my first and last self-help book. I read it for a book club a few years ago and when I realized I was the only one who really resonated with the packaging, I officially decided to go to therapy lol
anyway I'm at a point now where I'm putting more things into practice and actively challenging my thoughts, so I'm excited to see what more vids you'll make !
I'm reading the subtle art and thought why to read 100 books when you can practice from 1 book 100 books are saying the same thing but in different way !!
So it's a good book?
This new perspective on emotionally difficult things and self-help books is a breakthrough, I already feel like I'm making progress.
I said something similar to this on the cover of my new self-help book, ‘How To Win At Life’. George Orwell said “The best books are those that tell you what you already know” 😉
I have never seen so many movements of Mark's hands in my life as in this video. Real lifechanging.
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It’s the first self-help book I’ve read (just finished a few minutes ago, actually).
And already in the first chapters I knew that’s gonna be the only one for now - ‘cause all the mental shifts I needed right now - it gave me - the rest? Is in actually doing, exercising, actively changing your life. Not something reading words on paper can help with much ❤️ so thank you for solidifying it for me, looking forward to “challenges”
I recommend everyone to find the forbidden book titled Genius Hidden Tricks, It changed my life.
I read lot of books and I take notes on important points or suggestions given by the author.
And when any adversity strikes I read all those points I have written from the book. So that I am motivated to do the necessary actions required
I take notes and categorise it into different themes like courage , self compassion , confidence etc... So if I am facing any difficulty in these areas I will refer to my notes
That's a great idea, I'm gonna start doing that
Same here
You have perfectly explained something that I have been reflecting on for a long time without finding a solution. I admire you so much. i’m so excited with your future content. 💗
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I agree 100% with the message I did a video couple of months ago with a bit of criticism towards your book, but it was not mentioned to express hate. The message in this video is needed, and this is most definitely the way it should be taken forward with people who express interest and help in self-help material. I most definitely am gearing my content and teaching in that same direction given my irrelevance currently.
-Thank you for sheding the light that needed to be drawn in hidden dark places 👍
I only got aware of this because of my friend, she wouldnt follow my advice but when her bf told her the exact same thing, my advice got wiped out and she made me feel that her bf is the best person ever. At the end of the day, im just glad that she’s doing great for herself,
what i love finding your own way to help yourself is that we have lots of passages to try. Im just glad that i dont need to go to some higher being to help myself. Id rather spend for myself rather than giving offering to some religion, i was definitely happy during that religious part of my life but im also happy now knowing that i dont need to.
Mark. i enjoyed listening to this. you remind me of myself. simple and honest. let me tell you this. i hate to read, so i never read much from self help books. but from watching this, i realized something, that i don't need help. i have a good family and friends. plenty of $$. feel good in my own skin. so thanks for helping me to realize this.
Thank you man, for being such a great influence in my life. Altho I agree with what you say: action is better than theory, you helped me get some courage, that was needed for the action. I think thats why so many of us get stucked at just learning, we lack confidence sometimes... and we strive to scrape some by reading and learning.
Making self help more practical - great idea and more power to you Mark! Wish you an amazing 2023 :)
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After sitting on my ass for two years being depressed I decided to get up and go back to the gym. Since January 2nd I’ve missed 5 days of working out. Your book has helped me a lot, but I’m the one doing the work.
Thanks for the motivation.
@@tt-tk9076 hey i just bought a pullup bar and was thinking of taking calisthenics seriously. Do you know where to start?
@mandelaaa Hello, try searching for THENX & Chris Heria. I believe he has good beginner step by step videos as well as more advanced.
@@WolfeyBCX7 thank you!
Consistency beats perfection any day of the week.
try reading inner engineering from sadhguru, it will change your life(for real)
You're just on point. I noticed the same thing when I started buying books about decluttering, and ended up cluttering my space with decluttering books.
I was always questioning why all the people can't be succesful when there is alot of self improvement books and everyone can read it
And there is alot of content creators talk about it too
That video just answered me. it's just about ...
Taking action
What if this video was just as fake as the books themselves
I saw Neil Degrasse Tyson state that if you go to a library there are only a few books on gravity because we know all about it.
But if you look at other topics like self help/mental health there are copious amounts. To paraphrase, he said that's how you know we don't know much about a subject because there is no definitive answers it's all conjecture.
For example look back to the ancient world to read about stoicism but there are still modern authors discovering the subject and adapting it into self help books.
I agree a lot with this. Most self help books suck, but there are a few that are so fantastic. My two cents on this subject is that everybody's different. Everybody is slightly different in terms of what they believe, what personality they have, what their strengths and weaknesses are, what they're interested in; and so on. I think ultimately everybody should read self help books in order to gain new perspectives, but at the same time realize that we all have our different journeys to go on.
Most definitely 💯👏
I love this new direction you’re going in! I can’t wait to see what you’ll release next 👍
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This is why i need a companion more than a reading session 😂 im too dependent on someone's presence-knowing i have an intimate role model i can mirror while also understanding these concepts for self-help.
Changing a mindset is one thing, physical presence is another.
I'll probably never read your book but I'm glad you're being honest about this, I wouldn't depend on anyone to get control over my life.
@ 0:32, Mark says, "Nothing new said in these books." Bob Dylan and Sam Shepard co-wrote Brownsville Girl and said, "If there's an original thought out there, I could use it right now."
Someone else said, "Don't mistake activity for achievement."
In the end "Only You Can Help Youself".
No self-help book can save you.
It can guide you, but ultimately you have to use your own judgement in any given situation. 👍🏻
I felt attacked throughout most of that. Lol. My favorite philosophies were packaged by Earl Nightingale, and like you said, it helped for a while, but didn't last. "Atomic Habits" by James Clear introduced a lot of systems that made more lasting results.
My first self help book was Atomic habits which I read a few months ago and it seemed like life's gonna change and now after being aware about the ideas in atomic habits, I don't actually implement them
I was having that motivation at the time of reading
Now I was gonna search for a new self help book and this video appeared
From your advice, should I read atomic habits again or do something else?
@fanblock to me, that depends on whether you read the physical book, or listened to it. If you listened to it, try reading it.
I think we all struggle to maintain motivation at times. For me, the systems in Atomic Habits helped me to end two bad habits that I'd had for most of my life. But starting GOOD habits has been touch and go.
If you decide to read something else instead, I might recommend "Stolen Focus" by Johann Hari, or "No Excuses" by Brain Tracy. And it would be rude of me if I didnt recommend "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck", but I'm guessing you may have already read it, considering whose channel we're talking on.
@@matthewperry8057 yup I read the book physically and while I was reading it, my bad habit of using phone at night and sleeping late was gone and even I started journalist everyday but now those habits are gone after few days of completing the book and I have read only that book
So what do you suggest in implementing those habits as I find it hard because there's a lot of information which I can't implement together
I am looking forward to read it again but now in a different which you may help in making with some tips
@@fanblock_07 when it comes down to it, you just have to do the things you know make you feel better.
We have a lot of natural resistance to picking something back up, but once you start doing it it’s easier to continue.
So rather than searching for a way to feel good/productive without actually doing the work, like a self-help book, try just forcing yourself to do those things again. It’ll start some momentum and eventually an upward spiral.
Just keep hopping on that horse. Doesn’t really matter how long it’s been since you fell off.
@@kaleoscreations Thanks for replying! I will definitely try to restart those habits and I am currently reading the power of your subconscious mind and the interest I had developed before when I was reading atomic habits is no more in this book because I find the ideas contrary. I am 14 y/o student btw.
Wow, turns out I actually call out this sentiment when it comes to the "some people just want to hear it from a manager" situation. Frustrating, but very apt. You are right about all of this, nothing is new, but sometimes it just takes a certain way to click in our brains.
thank you mark for telling us the actual truth that is go deal with your problems rather than just reading and trying to avoid it
Still early in the year - I needed this honestly. Knowledge with no action is wild but I know I do it. Definitely about to start thinking like this when it comes to self help books and what I’m actually doing in my life. Just reading still hoping for something magical to happen but it doesn’t work like that.
Loved your book though!
I am ready for the new change that's going to happen in the channel, Mark what took you so long bringing the reality based stuff to the channel,too excited for it
Completely agree. I’ve purchased alot of self-improvement/help books over the years… they all say the same damn thing… reading the books has become a distraction from actually taking action. So now I read autobiographies instead. At the end of the day, nothing trumps action towards a goal.
That fact that this comes from a self-help books writer himself makes me respect you a lot more . Thank you king
110% on point. Very refreshing to actually hear the truth!
The most simple but difficult thing to do is to accept yourself completely, as you are now.
But I think in order to do so you first have to go down the rabbit hole of self-help and self-improvement.
I've read a lot of self help books, and with each one I felt this deep sense of "wow, this is mind blowing, what a breakthrough" only to realize that the only real breakthroughs in life are when you get to do something, anything
I think books need to be used as a fuel source, but if you don't start the engine and go somewhere, you'll just feel pumped for a while, and then inevitably almost back to square one
Couldn't agree more.
i agree that self help books say the same thing often, but the repackaging does have some actual value. a different perspective, a different perception, and different nuanced insights. i don't just read self help anymore, i read science/psychology/history/fitness/nutrition. but i read another self help book every once in a while because i usually find some new insights and thoughts from the different wording or story
Dead right
Definitely agree! Sometimes hearing or reading something in different words or from a different person really nails the point into your head.
That is how I see it. There are commonalities to most of these books but there are some ideas and principles that stand out among the better ones. When you hear the same concept expressed in different ways, from different perspectives, it begins to become more like a core truth. But as in psychotherapy and counseling, one must follow insight with action.
His point rings well after you reached your point. You read enough perspectives, you basically got what this advice does for the average person.
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Subtle Art changed my life and meeting you in Atl was a pleasure and an honor. I also appreciate your humility on this topic. Also, the pic of you burning your own book lol. GOAT 👊🏻
This book saved me after a bad break up that came just one year after another bad break up. I'll be always thankful for it and that's enough for me.
I never really saw Mark (or his books) in the “self-help” realm. I explained to my friends that reading his books is like sitting in a psychology/philosophy class and learning from a really awesome professor. I think that’s why I enjoy his books/videos so much. I can’t really improve: I am who I am. I enjoy reading his viewpoints and thoughts though. And I’m curious to see where this new direction of his goes.
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Yes, you can improve. Unless you don't want to.
You aren't who you are. And by that I mean you shouldn't say "I can't change" and then refuse to do anything even if you see it as an improvement. Saying that you will always be who you are is like looking at yourself through some rusty and dusty goggles. People change constantly and it's illogical to say you can't change. At least that is my opinion.
@@Mani-xo8er agree here the only consistent thing is change. The fun happens when we get curious and just watch the changes take place rather than trying to force them. if that makes sense
I mean if you are extremely honest to yourself that you are absolutely happy at where you are, then you will stay. If not, and you can't stand your current self anymore after taking a honest look in the mirror, you will change.
Mark. You’re one of my mentors in this current period of my life. You have so much of my respect. Thank you.
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I had absolutely zero respect for whoever wrote this book and i didn’t even know your name because I hated how self help books got so much hype but they had nothing new. But after seeing this video and watching you admit everything you’re doing and still justify it, I got all the respect. 👏🏼
You had absolutely zero respect for him? Wtf?
Why zero respect if you never even read it...?
@@sleekyissleepy maybe because respect is earned* and not a right?
@@Tdawgg. maybe you shouldn't disrespect someone that wrote a book just because you dont like the type of book?
@@sleekyissleepy having no respect for someone is not necessarily the same as actively disrespecting them though
Very well said. Even I have read many self help and spritual books. Used to wonder why all that does not translate to action. Have felt what you have said. But still continued as it's entertaining not really for change. Well said. Loved your video
This is honestly the best self-help video I've ever seen in my life.
Once I had fallen into the self-help industry, I literally bought a dozen books related to self-help, even though I found them arguably impractical at times.
Now I've been challenging myself to use and verbalize what I have seen to practice my English. 😀
Apparently, your style of making videos and the production quality are kind of a life saver for me, as your books and videos always convey the same ideas. This helps me stick to the good habit of thinking in English and expressing it in my own words.
I really appreciate it! 😆
Your book DID change my life!
It did! Mine too
Yes! Because I didn’t need another seven fucking book
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I feel like being called out so directly!😂 & the memes were so spot on!
This is just what I needed to hear. I've been struggling with this self-improvement thingy. I'm kind of addicted to it. Thinking I'm doing good, I'm getting better, which I am, but I'm not solving the immediate problems since I'm not attending them.
Anyway. Moving on.... to the next educational youtube video.🤣
Sorry, I just have to feel good about something. Something! I feel overwhelmed with problems right now.
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I’m your huge fan 🤩
To continue your analysis what I’m thinking
1. people who buy self-help books don’t seek a new information they need a doze of a new motivation. Sometimes it’s really hard to keep your focus and energy and don’t give up and the most quick way to fulfill that to read a motivational book
2. When you come across with your “difficult” situation you need to find the other human being who pass through the same shit. And you buy book
But the big problem for those books that every life every life’s context every person’s biology are different and you can’t repeat the author’s life. But you can take a few advice and maybe it can help
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I was into self help since high school. Liked reading and learning all the advice, tips and ideas given. But even after reading tons of them very small progress was made, of course no doubt it was very helpful towards the beginning showing the potential of what we can be, motivating us to action with tips and strategies but most of the time it was only limited to knowledge and no action. Naturally my interest in the books dwindled, i don't read so much more like last time. Now I limit myself to few ideas and try to do those things more. This video has been very insightful in informing the root problem of the self help genre's . I could relate myself to many points as he was explaining and i am sure every one who was in self help could relate to it too. Thank you for providing much better understanding through this video 🤝
My good sir. I’ve read probably 100+ books in the realm of self-help or productivity. I certainly have not made 100+ books worth of progress. Your quote really hits it home. Consumption without application feels like progress, but it ain’t.
I think it really depends on how you go about using self-help books. (And of course, which ones you read. Quite a few are crappily written cash grabs.) While I've read several myself, I've found that doing activities related to what the book teaches, or the exercises they provide, alongside of reading benefits me a LOT more than just reading and jumping to the next one. It helps me digest more and put the advice into action. Including discussing the concept with other people, it's another way to process the advice, to have it really sink in. I've found that over time, my life has gradually, though in significant ways, began to improve. It personally works for me to do things this way, plus I find it interesting to see how different authors re-word the same concepts. Like you said, some end up saying things in a way that clicks when it hadn't before, and I love those moments. I don't think there's anything wrong with enjoying reading self-help books. The important part is to be mindful of yourself when you're doing it. Is it just for fun/curiosity? Or do you want life changes, but things have stayed the same or are worse? It's good to reflect now and then to make sure what you're doing is actually helping! (And go to therapy. lol)
What Wise Words! You seem to have some missing puzzle pieces that elude so many. Learning from experience, a wide variety of teachers, honest self-assessment, charting progress over time, and remaining mindful- Where is the book YOU are authoring? I would buy a few copies to pass out , because I suspect you would teach HOW to think, not WHAT to think. ( I think?) 😉👍
@@TM-np5lq Haha, oh wow, you are too kind xD I appreciate the comment, certainly a great way to start my morning. I don't think I'm qualified to put together a book on this topic, but the enthusiasm is sweet. I hope you have a great rest of your day ^^
Such a spot on and hilarious way of speaking truth!! It's all about the packaging for what the perceiver will allow themselves to accept. 😂
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Wow! Thanks, Mark. I really appreciate this video. This is the point, really, if self-help book worked you didn't need seven books one would do the job. I got like 10+ self-help books and I'm still looking for buying new ones, LOL. I just need to start working now. Thanks again🖤
You know you grow when you change you're viewpoint in every day to day life
0:31 yep, definitely true. I realised this earlier though.
So the main reason I read self help books is just to see if someone comes up with something NEW
I used to feel like I watched all these Self Help videos and never got much from them. Until I met someone new and inadvertently started comparing where I was and the things I've implemented into my life. I adapted bit by bit from watching/reading self-help and psychology books. That's when I realized I've been absorbing picking and choosing things over time. Even from this video I think a few things have stuck to the wall if you will. I think that's why I watch and read. Not to solve all my issues or fully optimize my productivity. But maybe add something new that could be helpful.
This is a very powerful video! I agree with the points and I really liked the comparison of self help with cooking and wanting to lose weight; it’s not rocket science but it is difficult to actually commit to it. Very well said! I can’t wait to watch more videos.
I'm currently living with my parents, and I disturb them all day by telling what I read every day. I think, unknowingly, it is a great way to remember what you read. And now I’m currently about 80% through "Playbook to Millions" by Grant Cardone. I have read a lot of entrepreneurial books and self-improvement books, and this book is my absolute favorite. This book is extraordinary and really gets you to work extremely hard toward your goals in life and succeed at multiple different areas like personal finance, business and career. This is an absolute must-buy if you need a push to get you going in business, or you want more out of life.
Dude :0 thanks a lot! The whole Reading about Nutrition while drinking beer and eating pizza concept really smacked in my head. I was thinking about buying more and reading more self help books... geez. I'm grateful for the warning.
the thing i love about your books is that it feels more one to one than any other book ever. while im reading your books its as if im talking to an intelligent friend rather than a stuck up writer. even though English isn't my first language i barely find words that i dont know the meaning to in your books, as i said it feels more one to one
"Learning can feel like progress, even when it's not progress" I already finished writing my book but keep reading other books to see if I didn't miss anything and get my references right. Sure feels like this by now
You just made me realize I buy self-help books because I do not want to help myself. Thanks, Dick. ❤
Self-help is good, but let's not forget that there is always help from other people. If you have reached a point where you are stuck, you can always ask a counselor, mentor, guru, religious leader and even your parents/ elders. All that stops you is your pride and anxiety.
Literally gasped when youu took a bite of floppy-ass pizza with one hand while wearing a white shirt. That was terrifying! Anyway, "simple but hard to do" is the opposite of how I see most people doing things. I see most people WAY over-complicating things and then taking shortcuts. So that, in itself, is some pearls of wisdom.
I fucking love your books, I fell inlove with your the subtle art because it literally slaps me in the face and not sugarcoating every sentence I read
I love that book. A colleague of my husband from Europol recommended that to him back then in 2017 that I should read it. That was after I had been dehumanised, group bullied and slandered by a group of Filipino women who asked for donations, food, airfare donations, groceries, meals and urgent favours. I got a soft cover copy of it but I bought the audiobook version in 2017 from Audible books. I listened to your narration of The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck for maybe around 4x already. I also lent that book to a journalist and will send a copy of that book to my inner family circle. Thank you so much for the valuable wisdom and coping mechanisms you wrote! They helped me a lot especially when and whom and where and what not to trust! Your book made me more assertive and critical and to stand firm, strong and resilient against those toxic abuses from many aspects of life. ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ multiplied to many exponential forms . . . meaning I'd give more than five stars for your books! Grazie mille! Bravissimo!
I love when books don’t have to take an aggressive approach or what I’ll call “alarm words” for lack of a better term to make sales or grab and hold their readers’ attention. My favourite books are those that outline the inner workings of human behavior and suggest practical methods we can use to steer our lives as best we can. We’re always going to want things we don’t have because that’s in our nature. I’d say the message of this book shouldn’t be seen as “you won’t fail if you don’t try.” (Because you can’t win a game you don’t play) but “stay calm, be patient, and actively find tools to manage your mental health as you work for what you want.”
Psychoeducation is an important part of good therapy for this reason. The books that have said something new to me come from an understanding of how people work or how people can improve that doesn't amount to "*just* do what your family and teachers already taught you" because mine didn't.
Turning thinking into doing content is something I would absolutely love 😊🌼😊! I’m aware that the more answers on a topic you get, the more questions that arise, but I share that there have been so many fun and interesting topics I’ve learnt over the years, only to be disappointed that I had absolutely no idea how to make use of any of the information 😓
An article changed my life forever. It was called: you should be happy that life have no meaning.
Since I read that, I’m happy.
awesome channel/video Mark. Much respect. You spoke the truth that nobody will say. every self-help guru will say my idea is new and groundbreaking, etc b.s.
The first self-help book I ever read was yours, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck". At that time, I didn't even know what self help books were I just read it to see what the hype was about. Half-way through reading it, I realized I already know what this guy is saying and that was the first and last time I ever read a self-help book.
Your first books (SAONGAF and Models) helped me kickstart myself over 7 years ago. I was in college. Back then it felt easy to do the things. I lost weight, I found passion, I was beating depression, I had made friends, I had found a niche, I had completed my Master's Degree, wrote a paper, and landed my first job. And now, I've been at that job for 5 years. I have gained the weight back, and the depression seems to have won. My passion ebbs and flows. I wish sometimes I had never moved. The feeling I had at the end of those two years made me the most confident I had ever been. Now I feel like giving up. No self help book seems to give me that same edge I had before, and I think it's because life is much more difficult now or I feel like I have less confidence. I feel like I have travelled so much with you and your ideas. It might be time to try a more difficult tactic of looking at what has made life harder and see what I would need to do to make it easier, because maybe I give too many f**ks again.
i'll just go over here and help myself, without a book
They just give me a new perspective to look at my problems, that realization helped me to solve it in my own way, that's it
"Knowing is not enought we must apply, wishing is not enough we must do"