What to Say to a Narcissist to Shut Them Down Permanently
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 31 พ.ค. 2024
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What to Say to a Narcissist to Shut Them Down Permanently // Have you ever wondered what to say to a narcissist boyfriend when they’re being a jerk? Or better yet, what to say to a narcissist when you break up with him? … or her?
Even trickier, can be trying to figure out what to say to a narcissist when they come back? In that case, you might be wondering what to say to a narcissist to stop them in their tracks!
And if you’re smart, you’re wondering what to say to a narcissist to end the relationship altogether.
If you want to know what to say to a narcissist to calm them down… what to say to a narcissist to make them feel bad… OR… what to say to a narcissist to shut them down permanently, this video is for you!
Enjoy!
~ Tamie M xx
#superempath #knowyourvalue #unlockyourfreedom
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• What to Say to a Narci...
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#narcissism #narcissisticabuse #tamiemjoyce
Hey Friends! Thanks for watching!! If this resonated with you, you'll want to sign up for the FREE WEBCLASS I'm offering on how to heal and recover from codependency and narcissistic abuse so you NEVER fall prey to emotional manipulation and psychological abuse ever again! HERE'S THE LINK: www.tamiem.info/freeclass
Thank you
@@TamieMJoyceAn outstanding clip, I found it so helpful. You are brilliant!!
Whooo what a relief am up to 1000 plus% enough I can't take it any more.aMy Gof thank u lady❤
I have reached a point of no return
Extremely kind of you. Your teaching was very very helpfull❤
There is only one way to properly deal with a narcissist ... and that is to exclude them from your life permanently.
Yes, going on no contact!
I wish i could have done this many years ago...back then,i didn't know such people existed. Im too old now,yes ive learn how to deal with "HIM"!
Thats the only way, no other way but this one.
@@jimniki6856 that is right , well done. Keep silent it drives them even crazy and never ever allow the cretin back into your life ever again
While that is ideal, it is not always possible, unfortunately. With 3 kids between us, I still run into him at graduations, weddings, etc. However, I make sure to take care of myself as best as possible. 👍
I never imagined that I would have to actually study ways to live in peace in my own home. May God watch over all the victims of narcissism. It's the ultimate betrayal.
I completely understand, Holly! If you would like to discuss how my program may be able to support you in your healing so you stop repeating the pattern of narcissistic abuse, feel free to use the link below to apply for a 1:1 consultation.
Here’s the link: tamiem.as.me/schedule.php?appointmentType=4216728
Big love,
~ Tamie M xx
Yes they will destroy your peaceful home. A place that should be your sanctuary.
My son is one. It took a lot to sustain raising him.
Even worse is when the narcissist is your family. Going through it now
Father Absolute, I agree with this prayer. Please help me. They tell me that they don't feel. Then they act as if they do care. I'm tired. Please ascend me so I can have peace if this is your plan for me. There has been too much plays and false narratives. One after another. Love and Peace
Careful not to be too nice to them. They see that as weakness to exploit. Don't share personal info with them. First, they don't care and second, they'll use it against you.
FACT. VINDICITIVE CREEPS. SHOCKING
Demonic, vile, inhuman nut jobs.
So true
Omg yes I know
you aint lying about that!
Best way to deal with a narcissist is to don’t deal with them at all. Walk away and don’t look back.
100% agree. Its literally the best and easiest method.
and vote them out of Office
I wish I could
Family is hard to walk away
Especially since they programmed my kids to revolt against me because of the boundaries I set 😮💨
When I laughed I got bashed in the face
@@lexandrasisko8878 I got chocked as a teen for disagreeing with my father. I had to learn to let that go so I could heal. Not for his sake, but mine
"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." Napoleon Bonaparte
YES!!
From the book, Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, by Shunryu Suzuki (quoting Dogen-zenji): "When you say something to someone, he may not accept it, but do not try to make him understand it intellectually. Do not argue with him; just listen to his objections until he himself finds something wrong with them."
Genius quote.
I swear I've been saying that ever since I first heard it...the guy I rent from is a real loose hinge...but also a dimwatt.
👌🏽
No J. A. D. E.
No justification
No arguing
No defending
No explaining
👌
Effective!
Because every word will be changed to be used against you:)
I love the word NO
@@nancyclark2817 every word that's all he does I'm so tired of his shit
“Remain cold, detached and unfeeling … Just like they are.”
It is very hard when they are a family.
@@first_of_hername160. And it’s very hard to get away when you’re unexpectedly stuck around one in à living situation that you’re committed to for whatever reasons. (ME). It’s exhausting just to avoid and ignore.
@@valleygirl2530 I hope you find a way to break free. Stay strong. Hugs!
As someone with three abusive/narcissistic siblings, I can confirm that this really IS the only way to deal with them: Either walk away, forever, or completely shut them down emotionally. Unless you want to get sucked into the cycle of being abused, used, manipulated, lied to and about etc forever.
I too come from a family of narcissists. I have cut out most of them. And have very little to do with one of them. It's sooooooooo much easier.
Your information has been so helpful. Really working for me.
Not nearly as painful anymore.
Thank u !
Married to one!!43 years But he doesn't many anything to me. He doesn't want a divorce.
I filed 1994 Not cooking,not cleaning and definitely no sex.
Agree, my 5 siblings too..
How did you produce three narcissists? Quite an achievement! LOL.
Great advice! "Give them nothing. No reaction. Nothing."
Or like my Uncle used to say; "Don't wrestle with a pig, you both get muddy and the pig likes it."
😂
😂
That's exactly what my ex friend "the banshee" likes. I like your uncle's advice he is so right. 😂😂😂😂😂
Your uncle was quoting Mark Twain.
@@oliviamartini9700 That rascal, I am gonna call him on that next time I see him. Thanks
It is sad indeed that a person can be so broken that they must break other people to feel good about themselves.
It is incredibly sad indeed.
@@TamieMJoyce thank you for the vid. I have concluded that short of a miracle from God most narcs will never be able to look at their real issues so they can be set free. It is simply too painful for them.
SO SAD‼️
So true
So how can I help my mom not be broken?!?!?!?!
Yes, ma'am, you are correct. Once you stop "playing" and shut it down, they become silent. I did this decades ago with 2 people, and they no longer talk to me. It's been an incredibly peaceful 30 years.
How long did it take for them to leave you alone for good?
Maintaining a “business relationship” is the best advice I’ve heard.
"To remain cold, detached and unfeeling. You know, just like they are."
Damn. On point.
I second that!!
Agreed!
Agreed. It's generally best to always speak with people in a language they can fully understand. 😉
yes, he was dying and he was still trying i had to do nothing and he was shocked
@@wendyeesue Be who you are...but learn to speak another language. ;)
This should be in the school curriculum it would save kids a lot of heart break and pain later in life
Would have saved me for sure
@@shadowreaver8607 exactly. Because if they really wanted u to learn. They would teach things that pertain to the real world. Preparing children for life after school. Taxes. Stocks. Buying houses. Credit. Etc. Mental illnesses. Narcissistic people!!
I totally agree with that. This should be taught in school. For the people that have them in their family to identify their toxic behavior and for people that will meet them later in their lives to run away as fast as they can before falling in love with them. Having feelings for these people makes it too hard to detach and that is what they are taking advantage of. There is no point in trying to understand them because there is no logical explanation to insanity.
Great suggestion! Definitely a great LIFE LESSON! Propose it to your school board. You never know, you may be able to start an awesome new learning experience for your child/ren and grandchildren. ✌🙂
I wish we can get up do something here. To put some real force to school system to make them face this reality to be learned when kids are young. It will save so many kids future. If there is an organization for this, I am in.
I'm 53 and finally ready to let it go. My mother is the narcissist. I'm quietly crying here, but I feel that these are tears of strength. We both went to therapy (she quit) and it's time to move on, just shut it down. I have the support of a loving husband and friends. It's too bad, because I'm a wonderful person that she could have had in her life regularly. Her loss. Thank you for the tools to help me navigate.
Weldone x Weldone xx look after yourself and yours xxxx
Having to cut off a malignant narcissist mother is probably the hardest thing a human can psychogically do - and it will always hurt, even though your only other option is suicidal. Every instinct we have tells us to "forgive & forget" our close family members, but in this case that's like trying to forgive & forget a sadistic serial killer who isn't going to stop until you are dead.
My dad spent his whole life looking after himself. I cut all ties with him so he cut me out of his will. No surprise, he gave nothing all of my life.
I'm almost 63, and just shut out my dad. He has been playing games for years, even telling his healthcare worker that he wished I didn't argue with him, that he wished we got along, and that I want to move away from here (of course I do!!!). He's great at the pity game, and manipulative ways (they all are). I am a good, loving person too, which is what the predatory narcs eat for snacks. Stand strong, and I will try to do the same. Best wishes.
It was my Mother, she was the ultimate narcissist, played the games, favoured my sisters children throughout life, mine were ignored and criticised. My children were fully mentally abused, we ended up just ignoring her and my sisters who benefitted in all ways imaginable. Money played a massive part. I got a letter from her in the "event of her death" I was not to turn up at her funeral. The Sisters didn't inform me of her death and still don't talk to me. I was written out of her will. They and their children inherited well over 25 million. The money came from my Maternal Grandfather, my mother had nothing to do with it. There's nothing I can do about it, one of my sisters is the executer of her will. Very convenient. Sympathies to all going through this abuse. I have had this from her and my father since I went to a boarding School. So very Sad. But not uncommon.
You cannot let them take your joy away! If you do, they own you. They want a reaction from you. When they don't get it, you shut them down. Silence!
It's amazing how much damage these people can cause.
Especially when they're your boss of TEN YEARS. Almost ended up in a psychiatric unit, no joke.
Yes suprising isn,t it . Time to put on my teflon coat.
Narcs would destroy you, and then will pick you up from the ground where they threw you, just so they can tell you that it was all your fault!
Prime example - our last president
A trail of shit and destruction we’ll be moppin up for years
@ mercedes cue. And they never take ownership of any of it.
You earned a like from me the moment you defined a narcissist as a "childish ingrate."
Me too. I have an uncle is a very bad and destructive schizophrenic and he is those exact words.
@@austinlucksted7575 she was a hot red head looking for a freind ,, she was being traficed, thepain was real as she was bonded to the pimps that beat her violently,, but stockholm sym is real ,,, need money valadation but would never follow thru in a profesional way,,, like i contract with state DNR ,,, She had no car , so we would make arrangements for work and low and behold id be ther at 7:30 Am and ther she would be nearly nude, 🤷
allways excuseees not a missprint lol see how i was if i didnt make 3 ,, 7 or more stops on the way to a job ,,, thought w my err not with my brain 🤦🤦🤦learned at last hmmmm wonder why shes in a treat ment faculity in manhomen minn 25 guys and shes the only girl hmmm so shes in perfect spot lol
Exactly, that one ☺️
Perfectly described my dad 😂
You speak the absolute truth when dealing with narcissistic people!!! Do not react, silence is truly golden with them!
You are amazing! I walked away from my 88 yr old father 3 months ago. I moved to Florida 2 yrs ago from NY to get to know him. He was RARELY home because he was a successful business man. I left home at 16 and lived on my own. What I have learned about him assures me I did the right thing by leaving. He is Cruel, hateful and has said things to me that a father never should.. I warned him if he didn't stop his abuse that I would walk away. I AM DONE. Praise GOD !!!
I'm so happy you made the right choice.
“A narcissist paints a picture of themselves as being the victim or innocent in all aspects. They will be offended by the truth. But what is done in the dark will come to light. Time has a way of showing people’s true colors.” - Karla Grimes
@Zefford Hope lifes treating you extremely kindly now 🕊️🍀🙏
@@evelina787 Yes, everything turns out to be my fault, things from years ago, he's become this way, and I'm to blame
@@gogi682 God bless you gogi
He seems most unkind & a typical nrcissist whom can't take responsibility whtsoever for his own character defects, issues & problems
Horrible situ@tion & you deserve so much better
I don't know if you subconsciously blme yourself too, but ple@se know, you're not the one whom's at fault or to blme for his stuff
God bless you 👏🍀🙏Ple@se remind yourself you deserve the best
Absolutely!!
@@carolfcavanagh3835 God bless you
Hope all is good for you now & you're away from any unkind gme pl@ys & mnipultve behaviour s
✨☘️🙏
"An entitled, childish ingrate who has no boundaries". What a PERFECT description says the daughter of one.
Daughter of two how they lived with EACH OTHER I do not know.
Been there and done that. When my mother passed, I found out that I had become an Empath. Now I stay as far away from my Stepdad. Who still is alive and trying to hold us hostage by keeping our mother's thing's before they were even married. We've decided to let go of the material things my mother had.
@@julieharrell2585 I didn't no what a em-path was until recently, i just thought i was just a good reader of people an that i took too much on. But your stepdad has got no right to keep the things that really belonged to you and your mother before the marriage. what a heartless bastard. At least hes not part of your life now.
You just described my mom
What if you’re married to one?😢
I’m dealing with someone in my life who is a covert narcissist and that is way more difficult to navigate. Lots of passive aggressive behavior, being treated like a second class citizen and sabotage of mutual relationships. It’s sick and I’m tired.
I can understand. Stuck with a covert Narcissist husband....
I have a entire family of narcissists.
You are spot on. I walked away and never looked back.
The best thing to do with a narcissist is to put distance between you and the narcissist. Years later you will realize it is the best option and you will wish you had left them sooner.
I find laughing at them shuts them down brilliantly. The last person I encountered who had narcissistic personality disorder ran away in a distressed emotional state when I responded to one of his outlandish claims about himself with uncontrolled guffaws. He has avoided me ever since. Laughter is kryptonite to a narcissist!
Yes I experienced this as well. So true.😅
That's funny
Not for long, I tried everything with my ex, even divorce didn't stop him. Moving Continants from Southern atmosphere to western did (after a time)
Thanks for this - brilliant suggestion
@@jerrydegennaro273 I am talking about laughing at people with massively inflated egos. You are either a narcissist yourself or have never had to deal with one if you don't understand the necessity of confronting the delusion. These are people who won't modify their beliefs regardless of how people respond to them. If they find you sexually attractive this will be transformed into the conviction that you find them sexually attractive. It may take a can of Mace to convince them otherwise.
Thank you, this is my 1st time watching you. Have been married to a narcissist for 20 years. We are divorcing. I kept feeling like it is important to explain my feeling to him, as to understand why I left. Don't bother trying! They never cared to begin with!
CONGRATS
I’m so jealous you have the strength to leave.. 30 years of hell and I’m still here😢
Good on you
My niece is a narcissist! She 'gaslighted' me twice... after the second time I 'warned her' - "Third time & you are OUT!" It wasn't two weeks after 'the warning' and she DID IT AGAIN!
I haven't had anything to do with her in two years!💕
No matter what she gets her mother to say to me; goes in one ear and out the other🙃!
I’m dealing with a niece right NOW!! She is horrible and has gotten me several times… but no MORE😡
Detachment takes time. It’s hard but possible. Being married to a narcissist is absolutely the most lonely thing.
Oh my gosh you are so right!
Lucky me I am an aquarius was easy to detach
simply luna ~ oh honey, get a dog - they will love you to pieces
It certainly was for me too☺️☺️☺️ NOW in love with my 5 kids and 2 dogs... AND-have never been happier!!!!😇😇😇
Strange how an empty bed, is not lonely at all. Compared to being next to, the one you want to share love with.
Say nothing. Walk away do not look back.
Run and run fast 🎯🎯
Ya, I value my breath, (plus “ye shall have what ye say”, especially what you continually say and believe in your heart....and there’s nothing I would want to say to any of them that I would want to have, just one more reason not to say anything, just leave them frustrated and confused, and let them deal with their own issues. They’re none of my business, and unanswered questions drive them crazy… Crazier, that is...maybe they need deliverance...).
So, I don’t waste it on them, they don’t deserve my breath or my time. Don’t cast your pearls before swine, and don’t give them one bit of your breath, if you can prevent it.
And I have to actually respect someone before I care what they think, so they don’t make any headway with me, but I like to watch these now and then if they pop up, just in case there’s anything short and sweet to pass along to help other people who tend to be too nice and tolerant of abusive behavior....
I have a strict zero-tolerance policy of any form of abusive behavior, and my home (and my life) is a place of peace and love, and there’s not room for anything else. and that’s the way I like it.
I would tell people, be more careful about checking people out, to prevent anything undesirable in their life from becoming something that becomes difficult to dislodge...It’s not “unromantic”, it’s just refusing to be manipulated, it’s just double checking that your mind isn’t being controlled by your hormones. Call it what you like, it’s an important thing to do.
I have seen people get rid of one crazy narcissist, only to let yet another one, worse than the first, come along, move in, and wreak even more havoc, and so on.
In one case, I watched a guy spend months trying to get rid of someone, a narcissistic, non-paying roommate. In that case, since the person had not been paying any rent and was not moving out, AND was causing some serious problems, I just said “we are putting everything on the deck, changing the locks, and you can send her a text telling her that her possessions are available for pick up immediately”.
And we did.
She managed to find a place-immediately. She didn’t come get all her stuff immediately, but it was available to her. Then her father and she tried to drag me into the whole scenario to be the go-between, to try to negotiate whatever it was she was trying to achieve. I blocked both their numbers so that ended that. I won’t be dragged into that kind of nonsense. Nope. And I won’t even explain it, it should be self evident. It’s an IQ test and an EQ test.
In one situation, to assist in protecting the male and getting rid of the 3rd crazy narcissist that he had encountered (I was there in a strictly a protective and observational capacity, really it was to protect both sides, so nobody could make a claim that something illegal and actionable happened, an act of violence, any withholding of property, not taking property that wasn’t hers, etc., if I documented the whole thing with video...)....really I was also there as an eyewitness, in case she decided to go violent again, which she did, she did throw something at him and break it, to which neither of us responded.
It was almost hysterical if it wasn’t so dramatic, watching her completely unravel while neither of us said a single word.
That was my first instruction to him, “no matter what she does, don’t say one single word”. He was good at it he remained silent. I knew she would try to elicit a response, she just got more and more unnerved because nothing she tried was working. I can almost see the little wheels of her mind going, trying to come up with something that she thought would finally break the silence… But she never succeeded.
I did say not one word after giving my legal disclaimer: “I’m here for everybody’s protection, to prevent the necessity of involving the police, and so no one here can make a false claim of any kind against another”, as I whipped out my camera to document the situation, so it could not possibly become a “he said/she said” situation.
I did not interfere, I did not get involved in any way, didn’t crowd her, I kept my distance, I silently just recorded events. I have to admit there are times it was difficult not to laugh when she was so sure that her next little tactic would get a response, and didn’t, and then she would get more unsettled.
She had become extremely violent several times in the past, and already that day, and had cause the male several injuries. He didn’t want to prosecute, he didn’t want to involve the police, obviously he didn’t want them there for the whole neighborhood to create a scene he just wanted her to go, and he doesn’t hit women back…
I will tell men, when a woman is holding you at gunpoint/knife point/throwing heavy objects at your head, biting you enough to bruise or remove flesh, it’s perfectly OK to do whatever it takes to restrain her.
You don’t have to keep punching her lights out, but you do have the right to hit her back, and prevent her ability to continue the assault.
A lot of women don’t like that I stand in defense of men who are victims of domestic violence, but I’ve seen a great deal of it, men who will not hit women back because they were taught not to, and they meet up with a woman, a crazy narcissist, who sees this as a delightful opportunity to create as much misery as she can. Woman will taunt the man, doing terrible things to him causing bodily injury and saying that “there’s nothing you can do about it, I am a woman!”
No, she isn’t, she’s a crazy banshee!
But seriously, men, defend yourself! I find that a hammerlock works nicely on either sex, it’s a quick and easy way to subdue someone. There are other quick and easy methods, but that’s a good reliable one. On occasion you might dislocate someone’s shoulder, but that’s only if they resist too much. I’ve known a man who died because he would not hit a woman back, and she escalated her crazy to a fatal level of violence.
If you’re in a relationship with a irrationally violent woman, end it. Get her gone. If she’s in the business of defending people against violence, that’s different, but if she’s offensively violent, get rid of her, as quickly and as gently as you can. Let it be all your fault in her mind, whatever it takes to get her out the door. Remember, it doesn’t matter what she thinks, it matters that she goes. Away. Now.
***And everybody, men and women, when you are dating, try the “no”, and see how the person responds to “no”.*** A person that starts saying that you “don’t care”, and acts like there’s something wrong with YOU because you said “no”, and the person tries to use emotional blackmail, and wants to know why you said “no”, it’s a person to run away from, just get away before you have to chew your leg off to get away...
Those are narcissists. Narcissist demand reasons for why you won’t do things for them, grown-ups don’t need reasons, they just need a yes or no.
If they don’t respect your “no”, they don’t respect you.
You don’t say no in a rude way, you just say no, or “sorry, I’ve a prior engagement“, and they’d better not ask what it is, because they don’t have the right to vote on whether your prior engagement is valid to them or not (whether it’s real, or it’s just a prior engagement to paint your toenails or personal time to yourself that’s still a prior engagement, and if there’s anyone you should not break an engagement with within the human world, it’s yourself.... A prior engagement regardless of what it is, is something that clearly doesn’t involve them, so it’s none of their business).
and if you really don’t want to go out with them, just “no” or no, thank you is enough. If you are just testing them, or you really are not free, and it’s not playing games to test somebody at first to find out what their character is like, you’re just saving yourselves time and a hassle if that person can’t handle the word “no”.
You can save yourself days and weeks and months and years of misery with the simple “no” test, tried off and on over a period of time...if you’re interested in the person, then don’t do the no test too often, not often enough to discourage them, not too close together or anything but just to see how they handle not always having everything their way.
Then, if they handle it well, you can wait a few days and invite them to do something and if they tell you “no”, they may be testing you as well. They might actually be busy, they may want to test you, or they may not be interested... but they did invite you the first time, so just take it into consideration, people that can’t handle the word “no” are manipulative users.
They sometimes think bringing a gift or using some kind of “buffer” to go with their attempt at emotional blackmail will somehow make up for their unstable behavior, but it doesn’t. It’s their way of saying “look what I do for you, and you won’t even do this little thing for me…”. Run away from those people as well!
And remember, this isn’t just for a romantic relationships, but just for every day friendships as well, even coworkers and family.
You are not for sale, not for tiny gifts, and not for big gifts. Don’t put yourself up for sale, you’ll get stomped on by the pigs. keep your pearls to yourself, and don’t give them to the pigs. Only share with those who value what you have to give, and won’t trample you.
Mentally stable people respond to a “no” by thinking “oh, they’ve got something going on, if they want to do something with me, they will either counter offer, or they may except a counter offer from me to do some thing at a different date, and time, and if they’re not interested in any of that, then it’s time to move on.” mentally stable people don’t get angry with rejection, and they simply don’t take it personally, even if it was meant personally, they are under no obligation to take it that way.
So, I show up to be the neutral (yes, mentally favoring the male, because he is the one with all the injuries, and she has...none).
I watched the narcissist as she repeatedly endangered her child in various ways, but said nothing, and she didn’t even notice that. At one point, for some reason she was ranting that she thought I was judging her for smoking a cigarette, again I said nothing and she started screaming that she had a right to smoke cigarettes and all kinds of stuff, which was just her own conscience, I had nothing to do with her and I was too busywatching her daughter do something that quite frankly could’ve killed her in her physical condition.
Of course in her mind she was worried about being judged for trivial things, while I was more concerned about the child leaning over an open flame with her long hair hanging down, or trying to lift something very heavy while her clueless mom absently watched, when the child has a heart problem, has already had a couple of heart surgeries, and could have dropped dead right there, and other such things.
Her smoking cigarettes around her child paled in comparison.
There she is, smoking a cigarette while her child is doing something that could’ve given her a heart attack because of her disability, and there I was, unable to do anything more than be prepared to act in a first responder capacity. That was horrible. I didn’t say anything, I couldn’t say anything, the woman was already in a violent frame of mind.
I don’t think she maintained custody in the long run, thank God. Another scary thing was that she had mentioned in the past that she wanted 10 children... I thought it would be 10 children that would be dreaming of running away every day of their lives...
... So, I began to keep a protective eye on the child, and silently document the endangerment (and the disregard of an injury to the child that did occur, for the narcissistic mom, it was too inconvenient to come check it out, not life-threatening, but certainly something that needed the attention of a parent, but I was certainly not in any position to do anything for the child other than put out the fire should her hair catch fire, because the mom was so hysterical because none of her tactics were working on me or the male who was ejecting her from his life, and no, it was not his child....
and I was prepared to just there in a strictly observer position, I watched the narcissist completely unravel for three hours as she started screaming that I was… I’ll kinds of things, but she got absolutely no reaction out of me it started making assumptions about what I was thinking, what I was going to do, and all I was doing was protecting the male who I knew was going to get accused of things unless I had three hours of evidence to prove that he also said absolutely nothing to her when he was kicking her out of his home.
.... “don’t make a place for it, not even for one second. Don’t let it over the threshold don’t let these people approach you, don’t let it come in through the television or the radio or the computer, and it won’t and can’t set up house”..., because some friends and family don’t seem to be as comfortable with just letting these kinds of people disappear out of their lives...
And of course the stalkerati type can be harder for people to deter... But then again, let them see that you see, and remain silent, for example while you keep building a nice dossier of all their activities, so they can wonder when the legal shoe is going to drop on them, that’s a nice touch.
They know that you know, and they know you have evidence (cameras, any crazy notes or other such things they might leave), and the longer you don’t do anything with the evidence, the more nervous they get as to what exactly you ARE going to do with the evidence, and WHEN.
It’s better to get a lot of evidence (copy and back it up and have it in a few places to the best of your ability, they may try to access and destroy your little dossier on them, so keep that in mind, even have a partial one that’s not too hard to find, so they don’t destroy your place too much when they’re looking for it and they stop looking, because they think they’ve got it all... sometimes one needs to make dozens of “insurance packets“ of information to spread into other trustworthy hands, sealed, of course)....gather the evidence for a while, even let them think that they’re getting away with something, ‘til you have enough, then if it’s safe, you can make it known you do have something and it’s not just in your hands, but also in other hands for legal protection, or you can let them wonder if you know, so that when and if you need to use your dossier on them, they can’t try to pretend it’s something that they only did the one time, first they will try to blame you for the reason why they “had to do” the crazy thing they did, but they can’t get away with it when you have a mountain of evidence to drop on their head at any given time, and every time they do something, that mountain gets a little bit bigger and a little bit heavier right over their head.
Sometimes that thought alone is enough to make them cease and desist.
And yes, He is indeed Lord and King!
Really difficult when you want to spend time with your four kids and you have to ask their birthing person who is a narssistic sociopath! 😞
@@freedomforever1962 I hear you there, I’ve seen a lot of good dads have to put up with psycho women who play games with their children. In fact, I’ve seen more domestic violence of women against men than the other way around. By far.
I grew up with parents like this, and I absolutely became emotionless, non reactionary and pushed people away. This caused the people they were trying to convince of my horrible person to believe it because I was so cold. It was a lose lose situation. As a teenager I lost my friends because they became my mother's best friend, over and over. She flaunted her power to me by convincing my (at one time) best friend (now her best friend )that every time I "raised my eyebrows" that I was lying. My once friend was pointing and laughing at me with my mom because I raised my eyebrows when I spoke. My mom stood behind her smirking and watching "her work" that she did so well.
Leaving is better than being emotionally cold.
I am so happy that I found this page. I have been in a narcissistic, toxic relationship for some years and now that it is ending, I am so damaged and lost and constantly picking myself apart as if it was me. Watching these videos make me realize that its not me and that there are so many others who have similar experiences to myself. I am so grateful for the knowledge and the healing that it is providing me with. You are amazing!
Yes I still am with a beautiful ten yr old son so hard
The victims of malignant narcissists ALWAYS blame themselves - and only themselves. It takes constant reminders that the predator is 100% at fault, 100% of the time.
Just stay strong and pray. Thoughts are with you
Exit stage right!
@@artphotognh i dont blame myself. I knew clearly what she was but still constantly amazed at the things she would do
The silence is *not* uncomfortable when you are watching an evil person's mental gears grind to a smoking melting destructive halt.
Funniest and most satisfying moment ever 🤣
I was doing grey rock before I'd even heard of it or heard about narcissism. It drove my adopted mother crazy, I was minimal contact from 18 years old. As she got older she would say, Why can't you react when I speak to you? I just shrugged my shoulders and smiled.
@@DavidFraser007 that's the devil talking to you
Thank you for this image! I need to practice visualizing this in my meditation
The silence, coupled with the thought of a hopeful future for you and your family, keeps me on this path. I’ll never lie for my family again, and I’ll never need to take another underhanded insult from any other family member. After all the money, and all the lying, I’m garbage? Great! One family’s loss is a world of gain for someone else!
"Don't get sucked in." "Remain cool, detached, unfeeling." "Know your value and unlock your freedom." Don't feed the narcissist by becoming caring, hurt, sad, depressed, angry, intimidated, afraid, needy, upset. Learn to keep your cool. It is a learned skill.
Yeah, that's good idea, but I always end up showing that I care in some way. Avoiding them works if I don't have to work with them. If I ever try to make things work with narc, they always drag me down to their level.
Thad is easy for you too say my god !!!!
I have had it !!!!!
Do you have any tips? Please, anything you got I will take!
@@mandagray7320 cut them out of your life if possible even if they are family members (it will never get better no matter how hard you try). If you work with them watch videos by Arron daughty, he had a narcissistic manager and he was able to eliminate her from his life using law of attraction. I have found loa to work for me even though it sounds a bit far fetched.
In my experience, most attacks eventually devolve into name-calling that can get extremely nasty. They'll say anything to get a rise out of me. It's worse when they know me really well -- eg., my father. When he'd go off, at some point a switch went off inside of me and I just stood there and listened. It was sick to watch, but I felt like I just had to treat it like a rain storm suddenly moved in and I had to wait until it ended. My brother likes to say things like, "Wouldn't you agree...?" or "Isn't it true that...?" like a lawyer would ask (he's not a lawyer, BTW). I'll just say something like, "could be" or "possibly". He might say, "It's YES or NO, Dave!" and I'll shrug and say, "it depends".
You don't want to give them anything to grab on to. Be totally non-committal, because they are fueled by and prey upon ANY kind of agreement. It's not about you, and there's nothing you need to agree with. There's a machine going haywire inside of their head and you just happen to be what they're focused upon. JUST. BE. PRESENT. Become a piece of the furniture. And don't let them touch you.
I remember being taught when I was serving in the military that maintaining self control is paramount. When you lose control of yourself from a taunting narcissist, you've lost everything. You really taught the process of maintaining self control.
Unfortunately, I was married to one. I got sick with anxiety and went to the hospital frequently. I finally got smart and left!
me too. i was sick with migraines, fibromyalgia, drained, couldn't sleep, shoulders felt like boulders. 23 years of it. Divorce wasn't enough, he still persisted. Drove past my place with his new wife in the car, the one he was living with when we were divorcing. she has dementia now. I moved to another state. he bought a condo in that state. i went overseas but had to come back due to my son being ill. now i live far far away from him and he has no idea how to find me. no contact. but he got to my daughter and he has managed to keep my son in law to where i am not allowed to see my grandchildren. this guy is a monster and deserves nothing short of the end.
Good for you!!
@@dianaangell3348 PRAYERS FOR YOUR TOLERANCE.
(long suffering is a fruit of the SPIRIT).
@@priscilla.colburn444 psychopathy is evil and God commands us to not tolerate evil doers but to be equally yoked so tolerance is really a weakness in this situation.
@@dianaangell3348
I thought this was a past experience. Sorry
Silence is golden.
Silence just allows them to keep abusing you.
They hate the silence😂
@@macker007 No they just give you the silent treatment when they want it to hurt.
@@sr2291 and fight with everyone that challenge them.
Silence is really golden and leave emotions out is key, I understand this too late but when I did, it saved my mental health and my life! Imagine, he made me spell the alphabet when I had nothing to say to him🤣 crazy moron. I'm glad it's over.
I am happy to know that where I am now with my son and daughter-in-law's attacks and lies about who I am, is where I need to be! Thanks for giving me the reassurance that I am doing what is healthy for myself and my autistic son. We're going to be okay with the detachment that is necessary!!!
I've been involved with several narcissist for almost 40 years. You HAVE HELPED ME A. LOT. NOW I OPT TO LIVE ALONE.
I notice the one thing about these people is that they can get people to believe their lies. Their jealousies of other people can become down right violent and they can be unproductive
100% With you on that i know what you mean. May all narcissists and the simpletons that believe their lies when their lies are as clear as day to anyone who actually take notice burn in hell where they belong. As for yourself myself and all the other good decent people and stay safe and well Godbless
So true. Been there. Causing Self blaming, low self esteem, bcm an outcast, bcm blacksheep
@@keiladevirizkiamelia5734 My thoughts and prayers and love go out to you. I lived this hell. I know exactly the effects of this.
So true !
They not only get people to believe their lies, they believe it too. They believe what they are doing is what should have been done. That the victim deserves it. This is how they sleep like a baby afterwards, as if nothing has happened
My experience with Narcs over the years has been because I am a kind hearted person..they are attracted to our empathy and giving..but, when we stop giving or trusting what they do or say, they turn into Hyde.
Isn't that the truth?!👍🥰
When you dont say anything that involves caring for them, giving to them, sympathising and enabling their victimisation of self, then they dont bother with you at all. But they never check if youre alright. When you say something about them thats negative when theyre show zero compassion, they are so horribly vindictive they will try to ruin your reputation and make u look bad. Theyre all about not looking bad. U just wish something awful would swallow them up and torture them. But thats just my experience.
@ maria rose oh, that they do. I feel like we both speak from experience
@@alisonpham767 mine too.
Only a narcissistic could say "I'm a kind hearted person"
In a confrontation always let the silence hang in the air because who ever speaks first loses.
Never would I have believed my son was /is a narcissist, he has destroyed my family and dislodged my daughters with his lies. You are so correct they will go to any lengths to get the limelight look the victim change the events behind some great family times. I really want to try these things on the limited contact I have with him. Being emotionally charged person no emotion is rough . I don't know what happened to him he was not like this as a kid or teen . Thankyou for such great info..its still finding people 2 years later, headed to your grey rock video.
I absolutely understand as my oldest daughter (46) is a narcissist and she doesn't have a single family member, other than husband and 9 yr old daughter left in her life. I lived with them for 3 yrs, and witnessed her physically, mentally, and emotionally ruin her husband, but he won't leave her because of my granddaughter. He's a good man but he spoils her, and gives her anything she wants, just in an effort to keep her happy. But of course she never is. She is turning my granddaughter in to a entitled, privileged person. I know I will never trust her again.
My 33 year old daughter is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and a narcissist. Emotionally vicious! The hardest decision of my life was to let her go. I will miss seeing my granddaughter but can’t take anymore. Thank you for these tips. Missing who I want her to be is easier than the verbal abuse. May God help us both.
My son-in-law is dishonest and a narcissist who badmouthed me to my three grandchildren. I learned about it when my eldest grandchild called me to tell me off for something that I had not even done. Correcting my son-in-law just made it worse, and he has managed to turn my grandchildren who I loved so much away from me. And my daughter is going along with him to keep the "peace". I love her so much, too, but understand the situation she found herself in with three children and the need to keep the home together. I had misgivings about him from the start because he hated his father and badmouthed his siblings, which caused me to think well if that's the way he treats them what chance does a mother-in-law have of being treated any better? But my daughter loved him. I am very old now, and haven't seen or heard from them in years, not even a Christmas card, so I just pray for God to help her and the children to remember that I loved them all.
..and being Licenced Psychologists it did not stop her to be a narcissist?
Some would think that it should.
@@bebetigre1252
Dollars are cheap these days.
@@bebetigre1252 psychology is bunkum, some of them arent even glorified counsellors. its a load of FAECES
I CAN FEEL THE PAIN YOU MUST HAVE BUT YOOU MADE THE RIGHT DECISION I ADMIRE YOUR COURAGE 👍💕☮️😊Wish you all the love and happiness you deserve go for it ! TLC 😊@Hopeaprazska2&
If a certain type of narcissist tries to take you down especially in front of others ? just say '' Ok , so what's your name again ? ''
This is stupid.
I gradually packed my stuff before moving out of a narcissist's home where I was renting a room. She was already accusing me of breaking things that were old and already breaking. Another tenant said that she was bad mouthing me behind my back. I told her once, that she wasn't going to bully me. Just before I left, she tried to offer me perks to keep me in her home.
So, the best way to get rid of them is to not block them, but to use these tactics. "I", "We" language, calm and strong, short and sweet, nonchalant. I like it.
“There is simply no winning with a narcissist. They will treat you so horribly that you will become withdrawn and depressed and then
will turn around and say, ‘You’re no fun anymore, you’re always so depressed. I need to be with someone more positive.’” - Susan Williams
Good, let him do that. Then shake the dust from your feet and move on.
There are plenty of narcissist women out there as well…
@@Ur2ez4me81 Yes of course there are
In fact, i've met more women nrcissists than men
And the most dngerous thing, is they're professionl so they can 'buse their power, bec@use folk tend to' jump on the bandwagon, & @ssume whtever the nrcissistic professionl st@tes is right
With the men whom i've met whom're nrcissists, luckily the truth cme to light more simply, bec@use folk generally see through a je@lous partner with nrcissistic tr@its eventually even though p@rtners & a nrcissist p@rent can do their @mount of significnt dmge too i'm sorry to s@y
But Karla Grimes is just spe@king of her own unique experiences
My very worst hs been with nrcissistic fem@le professionls🍀🙏Hope lifes treating you extremely kindly now 🍀🙏
I agree, if you retreat which I did, you are "not the woman I married." If you bring anything up, it's out of bounds because it's "in the past, you should have said it then." If you try to express anything other than absolute support for them and their horrible behavior...they lose control. I know I have regretted it each time I took a stand.
@@merlinanewton8648 God bless you 💡☘️🙏 So sorry to hear of your situ@tion, it is just horrendous, How they mnipulte you&mke you feel guilt for having an opinion of your own
Yes me too, 100percent completely regret 'nytime i' ve ever stood up for myself
My heart r@ces & pounds like it will jump out of my chest
Sheet fear
They're extremely underhand with their gslighting, mnipultion flying Monkeys etc
Horrible, & sometimes they're s@dists,@s well @s nrcissists
Sincerely hope you're not in this situ@tion now
You deserve completely much better than this tre@tMent God bless you💡☘️🙏
Can't control how they act but how I react! 😉✌💪❤
Exactly, Sonia! Thanks for watching!!
Yeah was married to one for 25 years and the last 3 years since we divorced has been a learning experience for me. It’s been an emotional ride I won’t lie but I’m actually able to climb out of my shell and start living again. Baby steps right I’m getting there. Thanks for your videos ❤
I thank goodness for Tamiem. I had no idea how nuts, vindictive & low someone could be until I met this narcissist. I'm practicing Tamiem's phrases & referring to these sessions every time that I have to deal with this sick person. Thanks Tamiem, M
Best to you, from one Mary to another! I just detached Friday, and couldn't agree with you more. Pray for me, as I pray for you. Strength to us all! ❤️🩹
Me neither. What an eye opener!!!!! Evil evil evil!!!
The difficult thing is, that if you simply hold to the truth and specifically, your truth, you are going to enrage a narcissist. Seriously, just get away from them.
I’m here because I’m married to a narcissist. I began realizing that he likes making me cry , he gets enjoyment out of it . But with these tips , I believe the tables can be turned . I’m taking my power back . Thanks for the tips !
You're welcome Deanna!! 💕
Yes me too I am married to one, but I learn early in how not to get affected by every abuses he does.. But its lonely.
Have you tried some tips yet? What were the outcomes and how did you feel after?
Yes girl take it back!
Hope you are keeping your head high
Thanks, I needed to hear this 2 days ago when a narcissistic woman in my church (single) is trying to get me to give her attention and validation (I am married, but separated). She is trying to gaslight me, asking if I am ok, and when I don't respond the way she wanted, she hit me with tears to make me feel bad. Why should I feel bad when she was texting my number uninvited with messages that are way too 'warm and gooey' for being 'friends'. I did not invite this at all and she is trying to manipulate me into giving her more attention. I am not even safe in my own church now.
I told my narcissistic boss that I refused to engage in an argument with her one day when she was yelling at me and degrading me. I was fired. It was a blessing.
NO… is a complete sentence, best thing I’ve ever learned. When you’re always the one trying to fix things, you’re looking to explain everything. And it’s never going to be enough for them , and they don’t care! I don’t give out information anymore or ask questions One word or no word answers are the best 👍🏼thanks girl☺️
AGREED!! I recently figured this out but man I wish I knew this YEARS ago. It really is life changing for people who have narcissists in their life.
If you cannot fix "the problem"...fix "the problem" for yourself.
Makes so much sense NOW.... LOL
If no is not acceptable from your mate they don't respect you.
Maggie May thanks for analysing this! i have been fixings things ad the dude seems not to care sometimes he's too cold on me... when he want to talk to me am always avail, when it comes to my tym he's ever busy.. plus dolginng conversation when i....
This is my mother. She has ripped me down all my life. I am now treating her like this and she's not happy, but iam.
This is my mother too! Since I was 9 I am 59 now... I bent over backward to try and make her happy. She sat and watched me being beaten for 10yrs by her ex hubby (my uncle 1st) yea efft up right? I was at her house for the last week as she had an eye op. I did everything and when she had company I was upstairs whilst she was talking BUT as I walked downstairs I hurd her talking about ME saying I am a disappointment 🤷♀️. Why? I'm hurt I left in silence and went home 2 hours away! I'm a Reiki master and I do NOT need her negative energy. This lady is fab thanku so much for this info. I'm done with the woman who ONLY GAVE BIRTH to me I have 5 children who are best friends of mine and I'd NEVER treat them the way she treated. Me! Blessings to you all x
Same story here, but now she has dementia, so it's getting worse. I guess the longer I stay away, the better it will be for me.
Same!
lol
@@karenmcgady7637 "Its not the knife that stabs you in the back that kills you.... Its the person who is holding it!"....
Toxic people are energy zappers and sometimes we have to "Cut Cords" with those who hurt and ridicule us! Stay strong lovely people x
I agree with everything you're saying here. It took me YEARS to learn how to be non-reactive. I still struggle from time to time, but I'm way better now than when I started experiencing this type of personality disorder.
I’ve been married to the most extreme narcissistic for over 40 years, it’s been hell on earth, I have suffered, my children have suffered and now my grandchildren are suffering. He has gloried in thought that I did not have a education and he was the successful one and took care of all of us. There’s been a few times I would go see a lawyer to seek a divorce throughout the marriage but they would advise me to stay with him or end up suffering greatly. I had absolutely no family support because my mother was just like him and she would have been the last person I would ask for help. My kids beg me to divorce but they are all beat down and lean on me. Thank you for your videos, If I just had myself to worry about I could handle him but I’m carrying so many. I’ve had to raise 2 grandchildren and help raise 3 of my sisters. I pray your videos show me what to do. Thank you so much
It's a coincidence, but the use of the word NO is something I can tell you really does work. I had an encounter with the relative of a loved one who was trying to pressure me into doing something that was simply impossible at the time. This relative called me on the phone and told me what I was going to do, and I just listened. I was exhausted from a death in the family, and I suddenly realized this relative was being obnoxious and unreasonable. Rather than get angry, I responded to the dictated instructions with a simple, but clearly enunciated "NO."
What happened afterward was almost amusing. The relative just melted into a puddle of hate. I was never called more names in my entire life! Threats, dictates, demands, the relative was almost sobbing with rage. And the angrier the relative got, the calmer I got. I was detached, but almost amused, as if I was watching a TV program happening to someone else.
All I kept repeating was, "I'm sorry, but NO." Just "NO." Several times. Then I said, "Well, this isn't going anywhere so I'm hanging up. Take care." The relative was still screaming when I cradled the phone.
If you can pretend like this is something you're watching on TV, it makes it very easy to distance yourself. The calmer you are, the more in control you are. It really does work.
Excellent for you! When you have control of the wheel the other person can't drive you crazy.
Only problem is, there are so many narcissists on TV!!!🤣🤣🤣
I agree! It works! Great story!
Reading this I became aware this is my natural stance/mode towards behavior like that. I don't try to outsmart someone like them, I rather just cut them short with what I would call social logic. My stone-cold responses can certainly make blood boil.
My husband's brother is narcissist. That's how he dealt with him - saying no to his demands and not talking to him. Thing is, he later stole my husband's inheritance. His kids don't talk to him. He has not seen his own grandkids. And he's miserable with the second wife, a.k.a. former mistress turned second wife.
Cold, dispassionate, unfeeling- just like they are #truth
He thinks he is something but truth is he's nothing I mean nothing
And what that behavior makes US to be?
Beside, we always behave the way we are, not calculated, calm and collected.
The best way is turn your back and leave (the marriage too)
If they want it that way, they can have it that way.
Wrong - they are so passionate to destroy whomever is closest to them, mercilessly. That is their only mission in life, destroying other decent human beings.
@@HK-pp9ig Wrong - 'decent human beings' can also learn to become very demonstrably strong human beings (like myself) and totally fight back; decent human beings MUST fight back with strength. Even the Narcissist knows a formidable person when confronted by them. The Narc is totally disadvantaged once exposed by the decent human being placed into 'fight mode'. My own narc partner recognizes my power and is 'reduced' by this until I can leave. Her narc tactics are tackled at every turn with brutal honesty without cowering or apology. She knows it is totally pointless escalating matters. She knows to stay away until I can go. She knows I don't care enough to suffer by her. The narc can be very weak. Claim your power and fight back. let the narc know that you won't be reduced. If they think you will leave they try 'hoovering' you, the trick here is to capitalize on tactics such as this. I do, and it works.
This is 100% spot on! The description of them and the advice. I learned to do this with my adult narc sibling. Anything else is met with contrariness,lies and worse. It kept the peace on the surface because you can’t win with them any other way. The SECOND I expressed a different opinion or suggestion,it was all over. Truthfully, they are so fake,you can’t do anything right in their eyes anyway so you might as well protect yourself. Thank you so much for this.
My adult daughter is a narcissist and I am beginning to say things in that tone, without any emotion. I asked my daughter to talk quietly and stop shouting, her response was “you’re not used to being with people” I replied “oh I am just not loud people
I had two narcissistic parents. Any emotion shown will be used against you. I learned to cry without crying. My nose would run instead of tears.
I completely understand and relate, ejwis.
If you would like to discuss how my program may be able to support you in your healing so you stop repeating the pattern of narcissistic abuse, feel free to use the link below to apply for a 1:1 consultation.
Here’s the link: tamiem.as.me/schedule.php?appointmentType=4216728
Big love,
~ Tamie M xx
Yes. I am a master of the silent cry.
Omg yes it's so fucked up
Oh I'm so sorry
Thats the saddest thing Ive heard in awhile 😢
This absolutely works. The last words I used at a narcissistic relative 10 years ago were "I'm sorry you feel that way", and walked out. He knew he was dead to me at that point. A year or 2 later he had his gf call me to try & rip me a new one. She's yelling at me on the phone (I only answered in case there was a family emergency). I calmly said "I don't know who you think you are but you're clearly wrong about who I am" and hung up. I've had silent peace from that House of Crazy since.
Love it, Rene! Well done!! 🙂💕
Brilliant answer!
How you deal with a family issue.. made completely lies to her mother and made it look like I've said these things when it's not true. Where to go with this? She's a complete narcissist by not opening with me instead says it with her uncle( my husband) feeding lies. He's saddened by his sister ignoring him, and neice making stories up. What can I do? If it's a friend or an ex, would be easy.
@@jenann292 That's a tough one bc it's such a close family relation. The relative I dealt is a cousin who I was very close to as kids but as we got older & his behavior got worse we spent less & less time together. When our situation went down I was already at the point that I was fine if he were out of my life for good. I think they all lie, manipulate, talk behind your back to back you look bad & them look good or victimized. At the same time they try to separate all of you so their lies aren't exposed. Honestly you should consider therapy if your narcissist is a close relation to learn how to cope with then bc they aren't going to change.
"House of Crazy" Yep, for me I just called it a war zone.
❤ it's been years since I detached from a Narcissistic Xhusband...this video is 💯 TRUTH. I gave no options my last conversation...NO, NO MORE, NOT TOLERATING, NOT HIS WIFE, NO RIGHTS...These words were used strong and forceful but not in a crazed screaming fashion like how I would always react. I can't believe that it has been 10 years since that conversation and any interaction after that was better thani ever imagined. I do not have any contacts now as my son is an adult and my ex has been out of my life. I really believe this works. I wasn't to or coached to say this I had simply HAD ENOUGH, and I do remember after each simple set of words, pausing for the SILENCE!!! OH HOW SWEET IT WAS.❤
Hello Tammie and everybody. New here. This video was super helpful. I'm such an "explainer". I always want to be clear so as not to hurt feelings. It's definitely time to change that in this situation. I live with my ex, who is a narcissist and can't move because of finances at the moment, so it's really hard. But I'm learning day by day. I wish us all luck and peace!
I finally had mine cowed. Then he burned down the house and started attacking me physically WHILE I WAS SLEEPING the coward. Kicked him out. Then packed up and moved to another part of the state. Divorced. Gave him the house (mobile home). He thought he scored. It is falling down in the swampy plot of land he picked, I live in a traditional home in a nice neighborhood. WINNING the best revenge.
Why anyone wants to treat others this way is beyond my comprehension
The narcs are under Satan to destroy others. They are pathetic.
@@WellnesspodcastTV Literally demonically possessed. For anyone reading this, it's really worth reading M. Scott Peck's book "People of the Lie."
@@eagleeye2300 Thank you for your reply and ref. I have checked out the book on Amazon. Will definitely get a copy (audible), currently dealing with destructive narcs who also ridicule Jesus (knowing I am a believer). God bless you.
@@eagleeye2300 absolutely! Amazing how the mental health dr’s, teachers, students can so accurately describe demonic personalities.
You’re statement assumes the narcissist is human. They are not. Humans don’t like to treat other humans this way. Why a monster would treat others this way is perfectly comprehend-able.
A narcissist loves a doormat. I have passed this information on to someone who is locked in a toxic relationship & who doesn’t want to upset the other half so capitulates every time - self respect has been eroded to nothing.
Thank You so much Tamie. My ex-wife (who is my best lady friend) lived with a Narcissist man and was 'under his spell' for years until she finally realised what was happening to her life. I am willing to believe that she must have watched your podcast,
because she turned the tables and ended up booting him out of the house for good. Now we are learning how to to communicate with our daughter who has Borderline Personality Disorder.
It's a crazy world, and I wish I had studied Psychology / Psychiatry when I was young. Bless you Girl, I know you will help millions ! ♦
Best Regards from Australia. 🧡
“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen” & silence… that’s my fav 😭😭
What if you are married to one and children involved?
@@teresagray1477 my mother have the same situation...
They won't accept your NO....
Unfortunately they also manipulate and play victim , even when they are the aggressor , to judges and other authorities. They can convince others in places of power how devious you are and how victimized they have been.
100% Stay safe and well Godbless to you myself and all the other good decent people As for the nercissits and the simpletons that always take the nercissits side when it's clear as day that they are nercissits may those horrible thing burn in hell where they belong. As for yourself, myself and all the other good decent people and stay safe and well Godbless
Correct.
If u find urself helpless when they try to gas light everyone around you, to make u seem a bad person, let them do everything whatever they want, stay calm n then wisely manipulate whole scene against them (turn the table on) without being angry n say U r the one who made them to do so for Ur benefit n then see their plans going unsuccessful n they go disappointed n still they want to make it seem normal n play the victim role 😂 U can also leave them take their own decisions ( this also makes them go crazy coz Ur not fighting) all they want is to make u go crazy, fight , emotionally disturbed till then they provoke you every single moment...so say it's left to Ur choice, I have no choice, whatever will do, is ok, don't share whatever u feel, want, expect, nothing coz they listen you to observe wherever u can be happy, comfortable n then go against the same n make u unhappy, so listen n observe what they say, where n in what they are interested n with what they are happy n try to make them feel unhappy n show them if they challenge you, it's a hell for them, if you leave them without challenging them the narcissist wound lasts forever n never heal n feeling of being victimised n victim syndrome always haunts u, hurt you. Before leaving them Tit for Tat is the right method to heal urselves n again feel great n dignified 👍
Omfg that’s him
He turns everything around to make him the victim.😫
Imagine the damage they cause when they ARE the authorities!
Ditto! don’t share personal info with them because they are looking to ‘fix things’ which makes them feel great and puts you in the vulnerable slot.
Never engage! That’s what they want. You’re only going to be happy if you GET OUT IMMEDIATELY. I try to never see my narcissist, we share a child so for many years I had to deal with his ridiculous behavior. I use to pretend I was wearing a clear plexiglass shield. I’m not getting that crap energy on me. If you engage they win because they get off on it. Your advice is AWESOME! ❤
Cold as ice devoid of all human emotions. Robot Mode Activated
I like your comment! That's awesome. 🥰👍
They are not worth it believe me
Don't give them anything just be a robot and watch them crack
so well said, after 17 years i learned to do this, I called it blank mode
That explains this "THING" I have I called wife for 16 years now. Wow
Being raised by both parents who are BOTH narcissists it is impossible as child to get away. As a result, I prefer to remain alone and not be bothered with people. Just my dog.
You can never go wrong with a dog. They are the best.
@@shannoninalaska My dog kept me sane and grounded. Where in Alaska are you? I went there on a 6 week vacation and it was so pretty. Clean air too.
@@BlondeExplorer1 you must have had a really great time. Most people save for years just to take a 2 week vacation up here. 6 weeks must have been awesome. I tell all my friends and family to come visit but no one has come up yet other than my mom and stepdad so far. I want everyone to see Alaska at least once in their life.
I live in Eagle River, just north of Anchorage. Yes, the air is fresh but it is really hot up here and most people don't have air conditioning. 🤪
Well, it is hot right now......
Yes. I also remain alone. I've encountered too many Narcs in my life starting with my father and older sister. So prefer to be alone and am happy that way!
Im Jeremy. Just had to file a protection order to get my former best friend out of my house. He was violet and I was doing things that exposed him with out realizing I was doing them. I was very confused until your videos popped up on my you tube. Thank you! It's starting to make sense as I look back on the past 2 years.
You're welcome, Jeremy. I'm glad my videos are helping!
I recently confronted my narcissistic manager at work with a simple 'Stop bullying me'. She reacted as if I had threatened her, and even told staff that I had. She left that day and hasn't come back since. I must say it feels good.
My all-time favorite, calm, shut down response was, “Oh, yeah. I keep forgetting how you strive for perfection...through everyone else.”
We received a very unfair narcissist letter from someone, who disowned us. I simply wrote, "As you wish, our final goodbye." No more contact. 9 months ago.
Oh wow good one!
PREACH!!!
True
@@jannawalters232 I would have said, Oh thank you, what a relief!
"once you get away, stay away, for good". so damn hard. it's my mom.
I understand, Patti. It isn't easy for sure. 💕
Me too, babe. I could never. I love her. But I’m learning to set boundaries
Focus on cultivating & Curating you new Village. Because if you don't it will drain every ounce of life from you. Best Wishes to you
@@teresarobinson2302 Thank you
Even if she’s your mom she doesn’t have the right to do this to you. Life’s short & you deserve peace.
My ex-husband is narcissistic, I was married for 5 years, and it was hell. Even though It has been 10 years since we filed. I am finally addressing the problems with it cause I don't want to bring it into my next relationship. Thanks for this wonderful video.
I was raised by a Narcissist… my mother tormented me for life until a psychologist recommended l completely cut her from my life … so l did. That still has not stopped her trying to reach out and be nasty but l stay strong and ignore all calls or attempts at contacts from her.. as my psychologist said the more l refrain from contact the more it will driver her nuts ! So it is that thought of it really irritating her that keeps me strong. It has not been without consequences though from my childhood … l now suffer extreme anxiety and panic attacks… to the point l am now agoraphobic. I use to always wonder how bad childhood’s could affect you later in adult life when you can finally be your own person - but l know understand the reality that if you are torn down in every aspect as a child and it continues until your near 30 that it can be detrimental and life altering as you are a mere shell of who you could or would have been if raised by a loving mother … not one hell bent on destroying you. 😢 l feel for anyone at the hands of a narcissist it can be so devastating on you mentally… stay strong and cut them out of your life if you have to. This will sound awful but l think the only day l will feel release from her will be the day she is 6 foot under…. But can be rest assured her Will may contain an outreach even after she has gone - l fully expect it !
"Shut the creature down" its a demon, they need DELIVERANCE
I agree. Pray to Jesus for exorcism of the narcissist. That person is demon possessed.
Its a demon , yes
Prayers is what is needed here.
The silent treatment totally works. Also, the short responses work. What's great, is that I came up with these techniques all on my own and then I came across this video, which confirms that I'm doing everything right, which makes me feel even better! Thanks!
You're welcome, Charlotte! And yes, it is definitely effective when dealing with narcissistic people!! 💕
Me too!!!
Oh my!! Me too!! And it's working!!!!
Me too 🤪
Exactly, me too, Charlotte! I just left two days ago and used these techniques that kinda just came to me.Then today I find this wonderfully put piece to reinforce me!!! Thank you soooo much!!!
My heart goes out to people trapped in homes with these destructive, cruel people. I got out alive but I know he's biding his time and watching. You can't get far enough away, and children become a lever. They'll destroy your children to hurt you. If they don't get a reaction they escalate.
I love it! I'm 64 freaking years old and I'm just figuring all this shit out now ... with the help of good people like you. Excellent video. Thanks!
Too funny. Don't feel bad. I am 70 and still trying to cope with narcissistic behavior
Hello...64 too!!!!.... thank you for letting me know I'm not alone
Hitting 60 here.
Me too, I am 54 I believe how this happened to me without me seeing it for so long.
It honestly never occurred to me that being loving, supportive, attentive, honest, fair and forgiving wouldn't eventually work. I blamed myself for everything, wondering how im the world could I mess up so badly, so often when all I ever did was work my hardest to make them happy.
I am in same boat and new to learning about narcs and how they act, .... it truly sucks that someone can do these things to good people and kindhearted GENUINE people and make it seem like it's our fault. It's not us .. hugs we are better than them
It's because they can never be satisfied with the love, money, time and energy you provide them!
It's like more you give it to them the more they hate you and give nothing in return!
They have no capacity nor will to give anything back because they think of themself only.
The classic scenario indeed always is that they leave you in such a state of mind as how in the hell could I screw things up? What happened wrong? How could this happen to me?
It''s all because they directly put up guilt on you within their rejection card, never giving straight up answers and conclusion to it all and whatever they mentioned went wrong guess what, they are not a part of it!
Another hypocritical thing with narcissists is their form of "conclusion" within a rejection card never comes face to face but through mobile-phone messages or messages on social networks: they say you screwed it all up but never do they have the balls to say in your face what directly!
That is 'cause deep down inside they know you really didn't screw up anything: they sabotaged it all and they planned it from the very beggining... with mine was all they way like that, never "we" just "me", only her interests, her feelings, what she wants and even within such wishes yet again manipulating constantly!
Subtle signs and red flags were present also from the very beggining that I didn't recognise although halfway through I started to feel sick, as things were slowly going downhill... foresaking her rejection card towards me in a cruel and animalistic way showing her true face and nature!
Narcs are the most ungrateful people ever. They may have everything that most people would SO appreciate, but they appreciate nothing.
@@kati1017 learning that now ty all
Wow. Took the thoughts right outa my head
I met my ex at a family event. He didn’t recognize me and said “ Hi, I’m the graduates grandfather.” Dumbstruck, I replied “ Hi I’m the graduates grandmother” He deflated instantly.
For as long as I can remember, I knew. The manipulation, quilt, extreme jealousy, hostility, sabotage and more from my mother twords me. I knew as in understanding it was not normal. I knew even as a very small child. But I never had the terminology for it until this month. Im 53, it's narcissist, and now I know. Thank you
I’m saddened to think I have to treat my family members this way, but over the years I have developed these techniques for survival. I wish I could have a warm emotional connection with my family, but it can never happen because of this horrible personality disorder
Sending you a big virtual hug, Tammy! Keep the focus on your own healing and recovery and you'll be just fine!! xx
Same with my husband also. I happy to see that it works for you. I'll be trying these short answers soon enough. May good and decency we have always show through.
Save your warm emotional connection, for the friends that have stuck with you, they are precious.
@@billpetersen298 exactly!!
You are not alone in this. Develop a group of loved ones and value them.
Having a narcissistic parent is a curse! You just realise that you were being played all your life when you’re old enough. But to look back and know that the little poor you had the toughest time makes my heartache still 😢 more power and strength to all the victims who have narcissists in the family that you can’t run away from!
Yes. They tell everyone personal things, everything you do wrong and how great they're to you.
Thanks
It is indeed. I have been cursed with having both of my parents being narcissists. Thank God for forums such as these which has helped me to recognise and identify this fact. I am now on a path of healing and freedom.
My mother is a narcissit. It wasn't until I moved to live with my boyfrind in a different country I found out how bad it was. He noted how I would comepleetly break down after just Skyping with her for a while. He told me how it broke his heart seing me like that everytime. This made me think and in the end I decided to break my contact with her. In the beginning it wasn't easy. Because other family members would try to mend or look at me as if I was to blame, my brothers were also affected by her behavoir, and since I had taken the blunt all those years, me breaking it up made it worse for them. I stood my ground and a few years later I visited for one of my brothers weddings. Luckily I felt ready to deal with my mother, so I decided to go. I still remember the day I entered the church to go sit with my family. She cried so melodramatic at me, and at that moment I saw through all her antics, she was luring me into a deathtrap of emotion. I took a deep breath and let it go. I just let her do her thing and all the guilt and emotion I had felt when dealing with her growing up melted away. I realised how pathetic she was and that it was all her own doing with how miserabel she felt, not mine. A rock fell from my heart. And from that moment on I dealt with her antics compleetly detached from her emotionally. I went back home without being a broken mess. I haven't dealt with her since, though she has tried to several times. When I had succes with my work she would send a letter, but again it was all about HER, and about how proud I made HER feel. so I just skimmed through it and threw it away. When I turned 30 she sent flowers. I didn't throw them away with contempt this time, no I thought it would be a waste of nice flowers, instead I placed them in a vase and enjoyed the flowers as long as they lasted, not ever even once really thinking much about her, or feeling any emotions about it. I truely felt at peace. It might sound cold, but like what Tamie says, it's the best way to deal with Narcissits, for your own good and sanity.
I wish I could watch this video years back i thought i’m one who going crazy i always thought may be its my fault! Always felt guilty if anything goes wrong because i get blame for everything single thing that happened and when i reacted and gone crazy they are the victim and im the bad person end of the story! Lots of things happened to me over the years i get traumatized from lots bad situations and still trying to heal myself from those horrible experiences. Still breathing but couldn’t completely recover yet!! Im on the process though I promise myself no matter what i will protect my peace. Thank you for sharing this ❤❤
Yes, you have to be dispassionate with them. Trying to reason with them will only result in them pretending they don't understand and coming back at you with a lot of word salad.
I'm going through that now.
This is so true!!!!
@@b.k.r.doggielover5449 me too
@@b.k.r.doggielover5449 As a real and feeling human being, I hear you! It was so hard. watch?v=7rjXDIaI_Rk
Can I recommend this? Add it after youtube . com / and you'll get how to be a passionate, loving person, AND survive a narcicist encounter.
@@truthssword8033
I will. Even though my ex-narcissist discarded me, it still hurts. We had made plans for the future. Oh well.
Hopefully, my next Special Person will be an empath, like me. ⚘❤
Working under a Narcissist boss has been the most horrible thing our employees have had to endure.
Employers are happy to have managers who are narcissist too.. hate it looking for another job already.. very good with my job. my manager always talk over me, ignores when anyone says anything, and never listens. I pointed his mistakes to the management and they said they very happy to keep going with him, saying they totally trust him, when he hasnt done his job efficiently.. maybe shouldn't have said anything..
@@kumari6004that’s so painful.. I hope you’re ok ❤️🩹
I have a friend who keeps leaving her narcissist boyfriend just to go back to him over and over it is a shame because she's such a good woman
I have a family member who has just re inserted himself in our lives. He goes through episodes of inexplicable extreme anger and verbal abuse. My parents have been no help as they enable his behaviour by coddling him and never holding him accountable. While I care about him, my anxiety levels go through the roof with each visit from him.