Love the ending of the video. You know, one of the hardest things in life is to forgive ourselves for mistakes... Especially when society literally beats us down for mistake making at every turn with stuff like school and religion.
it is to make us learn and do the right things, only the problem is we cause a lot of pain that way and it may actually make us succeed less. If we could teach without punishment, we'd be better off
I watched your videos every day and i've been watching you for years. Although I can't afford to be a member of the shift society. Your videos and your free content are some helpful thank you for doing that❤ This one, in particular at 55 years old makes me realize. I've been doing this my whole life. And I've been the one ruining my life. Grow up with a very Emotionally abusive parent. And the other parent was absent. So it's not a wonder I've been doing it to myself. I've been through therapy been told. I was catastrophizing many years ago, but no one ever put it the way you did, and really just made sense. Of red like two hundred books... Nothing is hit home i've done work books... Anyway this video just made it all make sense for me!!!😢 Now I can do something about it!!! 😔😭😃🤗🥰
Hi Julia Kristina, M.A. Psych! Senior Shifter Chris is here! Your TH-cam video, Catastrophizing: How to Stop Making Yourself So Anxious is a good one! This is something that I still struggle with not only when thinking about my own little person life, but my struggle is catastrophizing about world events. It can lead me to think like “Well, if the whole world is going to hell in a handbasket, why even bother trying...” Of course, that hasn’t been serving me very well. For one, I can’t control things that are out of my control so I might as well not worry about it. Also, I can do my part in living my life as safely as I can and if I want to at least try to make a difference in this world, I can start by just being a kind and caring person, build others up, guide others on this mind management work, volunteer somewhere or donate or join an organization. So, I do know there are options to at least try making the world a better place. Here are my notes: 2 types of Catastrophizing are: 1. Things are going to go terribly ("Something bad is going to happen", or "Something is going to go wrong") 2. After something or situation took place, we make it mean something awful. ("I didn't get the raise; my boss must think I am an idiot." "This person isn't texting me back. They don't care or really love me.")
• Catastrophizing is assuming the worst about something that is going to happen in the future or making the outcome that isn't ideal, mean the worse or awful. What Catastrophizing things can do: • We tend to not take action or avoid situations that we are afraid is going to not give us the ideal outcome in order to feel safe so that if something does go wrong, it won't hurt as much. It won't be as hard.
• We think assuming the worst protects us from vulnerability if the worst does happen and anticipating and preparing ourselves for it.
• It can lead us to show up in a defensive or self-protected, or rejecting or rejected way that contributes to be that undesirable outcome.
• It could lead to self-fulfilling prophesy and self-sabotage. • When we assume the worst, that often plays a part in the likelihood that the worst will happen.
• The lead up in that thing we are catastrophizing about feels awful in of itself.
• Catastrophizing can make us feel stress, anxiety and dread before experiencing things.
• Can create bigger problems for ourselves. Here is what we can do: • Noticed it, but don't judge yourself for having catastrophic thoughts.
• Don't have catastrophic thoughts about your catastrophic thinking.
• "I noticed that I am having catastrophic thoughts about…etc..and this is what I will do about it."
• Work on alternate thoughts (e.g. Instead of thinking just because someone didn't text me back, doesn't mean they don't care, it could be that they got busy or maybe got interrupted during mid-text and thought sent it or forgot to reply or thought they did.)
• When we assume better, usually better happens. • Commit to learning from your outcomes (E.g, if you didn't get a job, learn something from it, research, work on skills…etc..)
• Commit to accepting yourself no matter what. Usually, it isn't the fear outcome we worry about the most, it is what we make it mean about ourselves if it happens.
• Try motivating yourself for what you want vs. what you don't want. • Practice noticing your thoughts. Thoughts are just thoughts and not always truths.
I think that when my wife checks out another nice looking guy she will abandon me. I learned that i have abandonment issues from childhood. Im working on myself to overcome these issues. I know she loves me because i know i put her through alot of unnecessary stress. I will start journaling these thoughts to help overcome them.
Not rejecting oneself is what I appreciated. That's hard for me because of the family I came from and the experiences I've had. I use a diary to write my thoughts.💚
Shifter here. Hi Julia! great video. Putting ourselves out there has its risks of being hurt in the process as you say it in this video, but its a strong way to be to risk it for the sake of making connections :) Im a work in progress myself.
Thank you for this video, Julia. I suffer a bit from anxiety. Being disabled in a wheelchair I always feel nervous and anxious when I am in social situations. I fear being judged. I know most everyone has this feeling.
Thanks for being here. I can only imagine what it must be like to be visually deviating from the norm. I hope you don't get negatively judged by others and that you can work on being kind and loving toward yourself no matter what.
I called that wanderer and thoughts thoughts that occur inside of the mind due to life experiences sometimes it's not always justified on proper thinking so we need to jump in our mind get control of the situation and push it out with some positive input positive input creates positive driven force. Thanks for the videos to do well❤
The more important (you want to import into your life) an event, then the more likely I will imagine a poor outcome. great description about the energy and the road to self fulfilling prophecy. Your telling the story of my life, detrimental thoughts. How to catch myself while i'm falling? thanks for video.
I really needed to hear this today thank you. I am working on obtaining my masters in clinical psychology next year to become a therapist too. You really inspire me!
This came right in time for me. I do this often without even realizing it. It’s me trying to control and protect myself. I appreciate the tips on how to move past it. Thank you
Thank you Julia，every time if there's something I can't figure out，I will call on your channel and always can find a solution to the problem. Recently，every weekend，I will attend a reading club, and I feel be rejected every now and then, but from your wisdom, I know I just is catastrophizing，so I will try my best to work through this.
Can’t express my gratitude in words. Thank you if I never got to say it to you in person which I am looking forward to say when I get enrolled in shifter society. Description of catastrophizing is upto 15:10 seconds and tools to deal with it are afterwards. Felt connected within couple of minutes of listening. Thank you again 🙏
Thank you so much for this message! I received test results from my doctor, and I’m already catastrophising the results before I go in and talk to him about it tomorrow!
This was absolutely brilliant! It resonated with me so much, your examples, definitely how I react, and your alternative thinking is hopefully going to make a huge difference for me. I can't thank you enough X
When we don’t feel comfortable with change or struggle with changes, it is easy to fall into these thoughts and behaviors. The negative thoughts become a self fulfilling prophecy. I have had to ask myself what is the worst thing that can happen and the likelihood of it happening.
What happens when a person who thinks this way encounters a TRUE catastrophe? Flood, tornado, Maui-type fire, earthquake, invasion of hostile army, etc.? Does this make such a person tougher, or shut them down altogether?
I can be like this. I had a masectomy due to early stage breast cancer this year. My brother was murdered 9 years ago. I got talking to someone who made me realise something: I've had to learn to rely on myself. I am much more independent than most people because I've had to be, & this is why I caught the cancer very early & why I assume catastrophes: it's helped me to survive. Someone who does this is probably more likely to plan ahead for diaaster. For example, they are more likely to be a prepper & therefore will be in a better position to survive it than people who assume it'll never happen to them. I have wind up chargers & radios, torches & camping equipment, just in caee. I also buy more tinned food etc than I need. Do you?
Hi Julia, your video has been so useful - thank you. I’m currently in this situation, catastrophising that an outcome that I so badly want to happen will not happen and that I’ll end up feeling terrible later on. What I don’t understand in my case is that despite a vast majority of the outcomes in my life having worked out exactly the way that I wanted to in the past (touchwood; and it’s funny because I was worrying and catastrophising excessively before those events happened), I still end up worrying like this with every new situation/uncertainty? Do you know why this might be? Thank you 😊
Ask yourself "how do I want to respond to this situation?" At the same time, give yourself compassion for what you are going through like "this is challenging for me right now. Challenges are part of life."
I think forget that other people have lots going on and we aren't being neglected. I know that I got upset with my son for not texting me back right away. When I questioned him about it, he said he was out driving and what was he supposed to do? Then I felt foolish. I need to remind myself that I am the centre of the universe. Lol
There is another possibility here. Maybe Sarah doesn't feel comfortable with those friends because they're not the right friends for her. Maybe she was right: maybe they genuinely are just pretending to be her friend. It happens. If they were genuine, they would try & re plan something to include her in the future. They would also have followed up to see if she was okay. You've only given us half the story tbh.
Every single complex system humanunkind NEEDS, is dying right before our eyes. NOTHING you can do with methodology intended for neurotic actions can help at all. Psych IS good if you hate your boss, because your Dad was problematic.. it's victim blaming in the face of our very real Predicament. Not cool.
Mines is learning to drive. I tend to catastrophize having an accident because I didn't shoulder check, forgot to stop at a stop sign, didn't brake in time, dazing out, etc. I think the best action for me is to remind myself I came home safely. The biggest mistake I made is not knowing if I should turn left on a yellow light. I also remind myself I have alternate options like transit if driving is too daunting 😱🚙🚎🚦
Love the ending of the video. You know, one of the hardest things in life is to forgive ourselves for mistakes... Especially when society literally beats us down for mistake making at every turn with stuff like school and religion.
it is to make us learn and do the right things, only the problem is we cause a lot of pain that way and it may actually make us succeed less. If we could teach without punishment, we'd be better off
I watched your videos every day and i've been watching you for years. Although I can't afford to be a member of the shift society. Your videos and your free content are some helpful thank you for doing that❤
This one, in particular at 55 years old makes me realize. I've been doing this my whole life. And I've been the one ruining my life. Grow up with a very Emotionally abusive parent. And the other parent was absent. So it's not a wonder I've been doing it to myself. I've been through therapy been told. I was catastrophizing many years ago, but no one ever put it the way you did, and really just made sense. Of red like two hundred books... Nothing is hit home i've done work books... Anyway this video just made it all make sense for me!!!😢 Now I can do something about it!!!
😔😭😃🤗🥰
Hi Julia Kristina, M.A. Psych! Senior Shifter Chris is here!
Your TH-cam video, Catastrophizing: How to Stop Making Yourself So Anxious is a good one!
This is something that I still struggle with not only when thinking about my own little person life, but my struggle is catastrophizing about world events. It can lead me to think like “Well, if the whole world is going to hell in a handbasket, why even bother trying...” Of course, that hasn’t been serving me very well. For one, I can’t control things that are out of my control so I might as well not worry about it. Also, I can do my part in living my life as safely as I can and if I want to at least try to make a difference in this world, I can start by just being a kind and caring person, build others up, guide others on this mind management work, volunteer somewhere or donate or join an organization. So, I do know there are options to at least try making the world a better place.
Here are my notes:
2 types of Catastrophizing are:
1. Things are going to go terribly
("Something bad is going to happen", or "Something is going to go wrong")
2. After something or situation took place, we make it mean something awful.
("I didn't get the raise; my boss must think I am an idiot." "This person isn't texting me back. They don't care or really love me.")
• Catastrophizing is assuming the worst about something that is going to happen in the future or making the outcome that isn't ideal, mean the worse or awful.
What Catastrophizing things can do:
• We tend to not take action or avoid situations that we are afraid is going to not give us the ideal outcome in order to feel safe so that if something does go wrong, it won't hurt as much. It won't be as hard.
• We think assuming the worst protects us from vulnerability if the worst does happen and anticipating and preparing ourselves for it.
• It can lead us to show up in a defensive or self-protected, or rejecting or rejected way that contributes to be that undesirable outcome.
• It could lead to self-fulfilling prophesy and self-sabotage.
• When we assume the worst, that often plays a part in the likelihood that the worst will happen.
• The lead up in that thing we are catastrophizing about feels awful in of itself.
• Catastrophizing can make us feel stress, anxiety and dread before experiencing things.
• Can create bigger problems for ourselves.
Here is what we can do:
• Noticed it, but don't judge yourself for having catastrophic thoughts.
• Don't have catastrophic thoughts about your catastrophic thinking.
• "I noticed that I am having catastrophic thoughts about…etc..and this is what I will do about it."
• Work on alternate thoughts (e.g. Instead of thinking just because someone didn't text me back, doesn't mean they don't care, it could be that they got busy or maybe got interrupted during mid-text and thought sent it or forgot to reply or thought they did.)
• When we assume better, usually better happens.
• Commit to learning from your outcomes
(E.g, if you didn't get a job, learn something from it, research, work on skills…etc..)
• Commit to accepting yourself no matter what.
Usually, it isn't the fear outcome we worry about the most, it is what we make it mean about ourselves if it happens.
• Try motivating yourself for what you want vs. what you don't want.
• Practice noticing your thoughts.
Thoughts are just thoughts and not always truths.
I think that when my wife checks out another nice looking guy she will abandon me. I learned that i have abandonment issues from childhood. Im working on myself to overcome these issues. I know she loves me because i know i put her through alot of unnecessary stress. I will start journaling these thoughts to help overcome them.
Not rejecting oneself is what I appreciated. That's hard for me because of the family I came from and the experiences I've had. I use a diary to write my thoughts.💚
I’m Kathy from Nebraska. I stumbled on you on Utube a few days ago. I’ve already feel better about things, I’ll keep listening. Thank you ❤
Shifter here. Hi Julia! great video. Putting ourselves out there has its risks of being hurt in the process as you say it in this video, but its a strong way to be to risk it for the sake of making connections :) Im a work in progress myself.
as long as we agree that no matter what happens we will be okay, we always will be.
@@juliakristinamah Thank you for your reply Julia! I appreciate it :)
Thank you for this video, Julia. I suffer a bit from anxiety. Being disabled in a wheelchair I always feel nervous and anxious when I am in social situations. I fear being judged. I know most everyone has this feeling.
Thanks for being here. I can only imagine what it must be like to be visually deviating from the norm. I hope you don't get negatively judged by others and that you can work on being kind and loving toward yourself no matter what.
Someone judging you because you are in a wheelchair is none of their business. It is also a way to tell if they are someone who you want to be with.
I called that wanderer and thoughts thoughts that occur inside of the mind due to life experiences sometimes it's not always justified on proper thinking so we need to jump in our mind get control of the situation and push it out with some positive input positive input creates positive driven force. Thanks for the videos to do well❤
Catastrophizing is a horrible part of "distorted thinking". It seems like the end of the world is always imminent, that the sky is always falling...
I concur, well spoken, it does feel distorted
The good news is, so far it has not.
@@juliakristinamah cool. Que sera?! K Pasa?
Thank You. @@juliakristinamah
The more important (you want to import into your life) an event, then the more likely I will imagine a poor outcome. great description about the energy and the road to self fulfilling prophecy. Your telling the story of my life, detrimental thoughts. How to catch myself while i'm falling? thanks for video.
Your channel is such a safe space whenever I'm not feeling good. Thank you!
I really needed to hear this today thank you. I am working on obtaining my masters in clinical psychology next year to become a therapist too. You really inspire me!
This was really helpful. I struggle with this so much. Thank you for sharing on how to change this thinking pattern. Really appreciate it ❤
You're so welcome. Glad you're here.
I do both versions of this; I have bad anxiety. And I’m always thinking that I’m not good enough and everything I do is wrong.
This came right in time for me. I do this often without even realizing it. It’s me trying to control and protect myself. I appreciate the tips on how to move past it. Thank you
You're so welcome. Glad you found this one helpful.
I'm new in your space. I'm feeling picked on right now. lol. I could relate to this very much.. oofff. Thank you for this video.
Thank you Julia，every time if there's something I can't figure out，I will call on your channel and always can find a solution to the problem.
Recently，every weekend，I will attend a reading club, and I feel be rejected every now and then, but from your wisdom, I know I just is catastrophizing，so I will try my best to work through this.
This is EXACTLY what I've been doing recently! Thank you so much for this... it's nice to know I'm not alone
Can’t express my gratitude in words. Thank you if I never got to say it to you in person which I am looking forward to say when I get enrolled in shifter society.
Description of catastrophizing is upto 15:10 seconds and tools to deal with it are afterwards.
Felt connected within couple of minutes of listening. Thank you again 🙏
Thank you so much for this message! I received test results from my doctor, and I’m already catastrophising the results before I go in and talk to him about it tomorrow!
What do you need to hear from yourself right now?
You look so pretty, Julia! 🎀🎁💝💚
JULIA, thanks so much for the awesome video. It’s always great to see and hear you. Have a wonderful day 🙏🌈🌞 !!!
Thanks for being here - and you too!
I can totally relate to this, I’m downloading the exercise, thank you 😊
That's great - let me know how you like it.
Thank you so much Julia sweetie ❤❤😊😊
This was absolutely brilliant! It resonated with me so much, your examples, definitely how I react, and your alternative thinking is hopefully going to make a huge difference for me. I can't thank you enough X
When we don’t feel comfortable with change or struggle with changes, it is easy to fall into these thoughts and behaviors. The negative thoughts become a self fulfilling prophecy. I have had to ask myself what is the worst thing that can happen and the likelihood of it happening.
Very helpful, thank you.
We do manifest what we fear .
Thank you! I needed this today!
thank you so much i really needed this❤
I really needed this video
What happens when a person who thinks this way encounters a TRUE catastrophe? Flood, tornado, Maui-type fire, earthquake, invasion of hostile army, etc.? Does this make such a person tougher, or shut them down altogether?
I can be like this. I had a masectomy due to early stage breast cancer this year. My brother was murdered 9 years ago. I got talking to someone who made me realise something: I've had to learn to rely on myself. I am much more independent than most people because I've had to be, & this is why I caught the cancer very early & why I assume catastrophes: it's helped me to survive. Someone who does this is probably more likely to plan ahead for diaaster. For example, they are more likely to be a prepper & therefore will be in a better position to survive it than people who assume it'll never happen to them. I have wind up chargers & radios, torches & camping equipment, just in caee. I also buy more tinned food etc than I need. Do you?
Hi Julia, your video has been so useful - thank you. I’m currently in this situation, catastrophising that an outcome that I so badly want to happen will not happen and that I’ll end up feeling terrible later on. What I don’t understand in my case is that despite a vast majority of the outcomes in my life having worked out exactly the way that I wanted to in the past (touchwood; and it’s funny because I was worrying and catastrophising excessively before those events happened), I still end up worrying like this with every new situation/uncertainty? Do you know why this might be? Thank you 😊
Thanks
Love you so much ❤️❤️💯
i trust my gut feelings and my senses tell me right away if im with the wrong people.
OMG this is Me!!!!!
What was one of your takeaways from this talk, Michelle?
That’s me 100%
What do you do if those negative thoughts are true? Especially in the work arena?
Ask yourself "how do I want to respond to this situation?" At the same time, give yourself compassion for what you are going through like "this is challenging for me right now. Challenges are part of life."
@@lesliengo8347 Thank you! That's the best advice I've ever gotten from a stranger online.
Hi Julia, how can I expect the best whithout creating great expectations? Thanks
What if you committed to loving and accepting yourself no matter what - then there would be no problem with having greatest of great expectations.
Only with situations I care about.
I think forget that other people have lots going on and we aren't being neglected. I know that I got upset with my son for not texting me back right away. When I questioned him about it, he said he was out driving and what was he supposed to do? Then I felt foolish. I need to remind myself that I am the centre of the universe. Lol
might want to double check that last sentence lol
At a place where I'm to scared to even fall asleep, not knowing if Im gonna be waking up tomorrow. 😖😵💫🤦🏼♂️
Hugs. Wishing that you find someone to talk to and hoping you feel better soon.
I just said it ten times fast,I swear
There is another possibility here. Maybe Sarah doesn't feel comfortable with those friends because they're not the right friends for her. Maybe she was right: maybe they genuinely are just pretending to be her friend. It happens. If they were genuine, they would try & re plan something to include her in the future. They would also have followed up to see if she was okay. You've only given us half the story tbh.
Every single complex system humanunkind NEEDS, is dying right before our eyes. NOTHING you can do with methodology intended for neurotic actions can help at all. Psych IS good if you hate your boss, because your Dad was problematic.. it's victim blaming in the face of our very real Predicament. Not cool.
Mines is learning to drive. I tend to catastrophize having an accident because I didn't shoulder check, forgot to stop at a stop sign, didn't brake in time, dazing out, etc. I think the best action for me is to remind myself I came home safely. The biggest mistake I made is not knowing if I should turn left on a yellow light. I also remind myself I have alternate options like transit if driving is too daunting 😱🚙🚎🚦