I’m sorry for your loss Serenity . Cry. Let those feelings out. Cry for as long as you need to. There are no limits or rules to how we grieve. Be kind to yourself. In time the tears will come less and less. And then they will sneak up on you when you least expect it. It’s a journey. The less we resist and go with the flow of it the easier it is on our hearts. Talk to your friend She still hears you. Love never dies❤
Tonidelisa, you said it well. Grief, especially with sudden loss is very very painful and even more so for sensitive people. This is going to last a long time. It is NORMAL to grief and you might think you are losing your mind but you are not. Grief is part of love and a part of life. It is taxing on the mind and body. So please know it is healthy to take breaks. Toni is right that you need to feel those feelings and release them. But it is also healthy to take breaks too. Watch funny movies or whatever can distract you for a while so your body can rebuild. Remember to eat, sleep and maintain yourself. It helps give you the strength to deal with it all. Good luck Serenity, I know it is hard. But you will learn to manage it with time. And, if anyone gets impatient and tells you to " move on" from it, ignore them.
Just saw this , is heartbreaking to see any person , that is in any kind of pain. You guys are a very strong and fierce bunch. I know you’ll get each other through this, with so much patience and compassion. A Friendship , never dies , it always lasts. ❤ Best Wishes
Praying for you honey. I totally understand. My hubby passed away unexpectedly the end of July. I'm struggling without him. I'm neurodivergent/autistic which makes it even harder to deal with. We were married and together for 41 years. Praying had helped me immensely. People praying for me has helped as well. I know I'll see him again very very soon as he is with Jesus. Take your time to heal. Everyone deals with grief differently. Praying for you and sending love.
I'm so sorry Serenity. The best way to get through grief is to let yourself feel all of the feelings. Let yourself cry. The best way to get through grief is to let yourself go through grief without hindrance. I lost my little sister to a drunk driver 12 years ago on August 12th and it was really hard. Be long to yourself. You had a huge loss. Sending love and prayers and hugs ❤
Oh Mama-Serenity I am so sorry. You lost a sister, not just a friend. Whatever comes up is valid in whatever time frame it comes up in. Love to you all.
My heart breaks for you both! Serenity, my only suggestion would be to pour your heart and soul into something to commemorate your friend who was closer than some family. Write a song, or an album of songs. Create a memorial of some kind. Design a scrapbook. Write a novel about your friends life. Something you can get deep into. Something that resonates with you. Something that makes us all fall in love with the beauty of your friend and her dedication to you. Also....It wasn't that she was brave when you were not, she helped you be your bravest self. Being brave isn't something we can compare and quantify. She was brave, you were brave. Letting her into your life and heart in the ways that you did is the bravest thing of all.
My condolences. Everyone handles grief differently. When my mom died i kept bursting in tears (i usually don't cry). I jog as a way to deal with stress, but back then i was crying while running. The whole time i felt like a heavy stone was on my chest. But gradually over time it became lighter and more tolerable. I still miss her and there is an empty space in my life,but i can deal with it now. Wishing you strength
Serenity and Wolf family- I'm sorry for your loss! You are So lucky to have had a friend like this in your life! Leaning on your family will be my best advice, because they are awesome! You are a strong person Serenity!!❤
I expect this to be cold comfort, but I think when you grieve like this, it is because you were loved just as much you chose to love. Your friend's love for you is in your heart forever. This is overwhelming right now, but at some point, I have no idea when , you will be able to grieve and feel at peace at the same time. Some people need to run and sweat and distract themselves during the day,and then let it out at night, and some people need to sit in daylight in their homes and weep privately because if they wait until nightfall it makes it impossible to sleep. If you can't sleep at all, it will make grieving worse. When you lie down in bed at night, you might try saying out loud or just in your mind, she loved me like I love her and friendship like ours never ends. I mean say it again and again while breathing as slowly as possible, for like half an hour. That's the best thing I can think of right now. I am so sorry for your loss.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I lost my parents a few years ago when I was 19. Today is my father’s birthday in fact. I have no advice but to say that the people we love never really leave us. I see my parents everyday; the warm sun on my skin reminds me of my mother. A rock song on the radio is my father. Every thing they touched and loved is still alive, and I can still be with them in ways they touched. I can also say that time helps. The grief never gets smaller but I have grown bigger around my grief. Edit: I want to also say how beautiful of a person your friend is. I can tell she was such a special person filled with so much love. You are lucky to have known each-other. Her artwork looks amazing. Her light will never dim. I know how repetitive it can feel to hear, but I am so sorry for your loss. Cancer sucks.
Therapy is the best path, in my opinion. You’re doing the right thing, momma. It’s okay to grieve and feel all of those feelings, and let your support system do their supporting. This breaks my heart. Sending so much love your way ❤
The social worker at my dad's hospice reminded me that I had decades of fond memories to draw on. My brain at the time would not stop showing me the bad times at the very end of his life. But a reminder to think of good times on purpose sometimes really did help. Yes, let yourself feel your feelings, and cry when crying wants to happen. That's really important, too. ❤ But draw some good memories to mind when you can. Just for yourself internally, or to share with others whatever formats feel right to you. Tell stories the people who knew her and/or people who didn't. Write songs. Fingerpaint :)
What helps me the most is talking about it with other Neurodivergent people in grief. I talk in discord about my grief a lot. Even just reading other people experience of grief helps me understand my own better. Since your mom is late diagnosed, I'd suggest trying to stim through grief. A lot of us don't stim or stim in very small ways now, and have suppressed a really essential self regulating tool. So just try to stim even if it feels a bit unnatural, and see if it helps. It does help me sometimes. Something I struggle with a lot is the balance between feeling/processing my emotions, and not burning myself out from it/melting down. Active grieving takes a heavy toll, I am exhausted for days afterwards, sometimes weeks. The kind of exhaustion where its hard to even get myself food. So sometimes I do have to push my grief down, dissociate perhaps. Just because I know I don't have the reserves to process emotions right then and also still care for myself. But something I have also learned is I cant push it down for too long. If I do, I start to get very anxious 'for no reason', and feel scared and shaken, like the floor might collapse under me metaphorically. If I push the grief away, the grief just waits for me to be finished. It's never gone. I'm very sorry for your loss. She sounds like a beautiful person who loved you so much.
Hi Serenity ❤ Two things that helped me when I lost my father. First, grief is like a stone in your pocket. It's heavy and it weighs you down, but the more you carry that stone, the lighter it gets because you become stronger. You never forget that stone, it will always be in your pocket…but it’s not as debilitating anymore. Second: “People think that grief slowly gets smaller with time. In reality, grief stays the same size. But slowly life begins to grow bigger around it" - Dr. Lois Tonkin
I am so sorry serenity. I send you all love and huge hugs tonight. My best friend was my grandmother, and I remember when she passed away, I would take long walks and talk to her as if she was right there with me. And when my one daughter died, I can remember driving down to the cemetery and sitting at her plot for hours at a time and just crying. Everybody deals with it differently. Please don’t put so much pressure on yourself. You’re doing great. Even if you don’t think so. And I’m sorry it’s so hard for you right now. Breaks my heart. I love you guys so much even though I don’t know you in person and my kids and I will be keeping you in our love and prayers. And when too much is going on inside, just take it a breath at a time. Especially when a day at a time is too much to ask.
Sending much love to you, Serenity. I am so sorry. There must be a huge hole that was filled by this loving person who 'got' you, a soul sister, and, though you were lucky to have each other, these soul connections are rare gems😢 🙏
P.S. I wrote this as a reply to another person, but thought to share here. I lost my closest sister (I have one other) in Dec. 2020. I spent months listening to 70s/80s music that reminded me of her , then my precious 12 yr old other 'best friend' (my dog) got cancer and had to be put down 8 months after my sister's death. It's be n 3 years and it's been rocky..went thru all the stages of grief and the anger was huge due to my autism (I couldn't take all the loss, really). I am in a better place but for an autistic person that feels just like the regular 1000% energy expenditure to function a neurotypical's world. It might take time but that's ok. It's wrecked my physical and mental health grieving so hard and have to get up
I don't have a lot of suggestions other than saying that feeling lost and not knowing how to navigate it all feels like it make sense for someone who lost their protector, their facilitator, and their north star. How would you know? I find it comforting to immerse myself in their presence as much as I can, as early as I can. Pictures, video, sitting in their space, remembering. Feeling the pain of their loss so I can remember why I needed them so bad, and why their loss IS so impactful. Letting yourself feel so sad about it so you can really embrace what it was about them you miss so much. Maybe it seems like much for most people, but I need that. If all I have is memories, I feel like I can't afford to forget. Maybe some of who they were and what they loved will be a part of me after that. I'm so sorry for your loss, Serenity.
Hello Serenity, I’m truly sorry for your loss. I have no words, but if I could say this…. I wish I had a friend in my life the way you did. I’ve never had a friend that would have painted a room, protected and shielded me, or taken care of hard phone calls and come over in time of need. So honour your friend by smiling, hold your head high so she can still see your beautiful face and she will continue to live in your heart ❤
Big hugs dear ones...I wish I had words of wisdom...it takes time, tears, grief is different for everyone. For me my best, dearest friend of 30 years passed away 14 yrs ago after long illness, at first it was like walking thru broken glass, then after many tears a little less so. To this day I miss her terribly but it did get easier. Not much but enough to breathe without pain. Just cry when you feel like it, talk about your friend to your loved ones or even here if you are comfortable. You just have to keeping moving you have a great support system, let them help....much love to you all I will pray for all involved...
I’m so sorry for your families loss and the pain that comes in waves. When you can breath try to breath deep and when the waves comes again don’t fight against it but let yourself go, cry, scream, get close to the ground - grounding to the earth will help soothe some of the hurt. My thoughts will be with you and yours ❤
When my mom’s best friend (who was like an aunt to us because my parents are immigrants and we don’t have extended family nearby), we put some pictures and things together in a box to look at when we really missed her. They was things that were too painful to have out but that we also wanted to have easily accessible to look at and touch. Also maybe write down what you always want to remember about her - favorite memories, how you met, how she helped you, what was special about your friendship.
Serenity, Toren and whole Wolf family, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know she was just as lucky to have you all in her life as you were to have her. How I have learned to grieve is to talk to them like they are still here. When I was younger I would go to their grave and lay out a blanket right in front of their headstone, play our favorite music, sometimes bring a meal. Sometimes I would spend hours laying there looking up at the clouds just talking to them. As time has passed (13 years now) I haven’t been back to the grave. I still talk to them. The conversations are shorter but I still tell them about the good, the bad, the secret… I know it’s probably not a typical way of grieving but it’s how I got through it.
I totally get this! I feel like if I finally find out where they buried my dad (they did not tell me as I am the bad daughter, but I think over the ocean in his homecountry Argentina which is big...) I want to lie on his grave like to hug him, pay a mess for him to have a funeral for me and then I could finally put out the black clothes I put on the minute I heard he died over two years ago.
I cry with you because I lost my childhood friend this summer. The only thing I can say is ask for help and give yourself space to accept the pain because it has its place. Feel it, and honor it. As the strength of your love was strong❤ so will the grief be. The waves come and go, and slowly the shore moves. But the shore is never gone, it will always be there. I dont know if that makes sense...
As a cancer survivor myself, and also someone who recently lost a best friend to sudden death. This is totally relatable. Thank you for sharing Serenity ❤
I am so sorry for your loss 😢 i send my love 🙌 i have a tip to help with coping. I have been grieving recently and one thing i make sure to do is allow myself space to cry and stim. Just stim and cry and once the crying spell is over you can stim some more and then do an activity you love to do like art or reading. Keep repeating this as many times you need throughout the grieving process ❤
By handling grief just smile at all the good times you and her had together, remember that your best friend never wanted to see you sad or crying . Know that she's going to always be a piece of your heart, always and forever ❤
I totally get it it’s hard when someone passes away my mom best friend also died from cancer that my mom has new her for a couple of years she misses her but my still has some of the things she knit for her as a memory of her and so sorry for your lost
Grief is not easy and it’s not a quick heal. Everyone grieves differently in their own way. I personally lost both of my grandpas in 2023 one in February and one in March. Then in February 2024 I lost my Grandma five days before my birthday. I literally lost my best friend and to this day it sucks. I have days where I’m good and then on their anniversary’s I am very sad. What has helped me is having an animal nearby. Walking helps, cuddling helps, talking helps. I pray that this will ease.
i just lost my brother, who was my best friend, as well. the only advice i have is to be gentle with yourself and those around you who might not understand how to react to your grief. sending so much love
My condolences! I lost my closest sister (I have one other) in Dec. 2020. I spent months listening to 70s/80s music that reminded me of her , then my precious 12 yr old other 'best friend' (my dog) got cancer and had to be put down 8 months after my sister's death. It's be n 3 years and it's been rocky..went thru all the stages of grief and the anger was huge due to my autism (I couldn't take all the loss, really). I am in a better place but for an autistic person that feels just like the regular 1000% energy expenditure to function a neurotypical's world. It might take time but that's ok.
I lost a best friend @ 13. I handle grief by always thinking of the ones I love, even when it hurts - remembering all the things that I loved and the things that I cherished and the things that they brought to my life. I like to infuse those energies into my artistic outlets. Jewelry, Drawing, Writing, everything that reminds me of them. The sadness is for me... the joy is for everyone who never got to meet them.
Grief is love with nowhere to go. I’m so sorry for your loss, Mama Wolf 😔 I lost someone very dear to me at the beginning of the summer and I’m never going to be the same. I’m so emotional about it that I’m literally losing my hair. My family is sad too, but they just don’t understand.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've never had a friend like the one you've described, I'm glad you had the time together that you did, truly a gift. The room that she painted is absolutlely INCREDIBLE!!
Those we love take a piece of our heart when they go, but they always leave us a piece of theirs. There is no right way to grieve or wrong way. Grief is so real, so heart centered. What helped me: resourcing yourself (reaching out to others, self care, therapy, spirit if that works for you) allowing the emotions to come, knowing that in the allowing (however that looks for you) that the emotion will be felt, acknowledged and then pass through you. It’s okay to not feel, to not process, just not forever. You can go as deep into grief as you wish, just be aware of when you move into suffering (when the pattern of grieving/ processing becomes the thing often in a painful loop) and then have a plan to get out (spend time with your family, create, what ever brings you joy, etc.). Find ways to honor her that make sense to you, like doing something you both loved, or lighting a candle, your heart will know when you are ready.Above all, be gentle on yourself, love yourself like your friend loved you. Show yourselves endless compassion and know you are held and supported by a community that adores you. Also, for me, breathwork, (trauma informed breathwork) has been amazing in my healing. This is my gift, my skill, I can and will be delighted to hold space for you in a way that meets your needs…… I specialize in late diagnosed people like us, in a judgement free, loving, accepting way, fully allowing for your choice, needs and pace….. DM me at any time if you would like session, when ever you need it. No cost, a love offering to match your beautiful soul. You are held in a loving light by all that are here.
Everyone has talked about how important it is to feel the feelings and remember your friend. I recognize not only the loss of friendship, but the loss of support. Idk what is available to you but I’d definitely consider trying to find extra support to help handle the things that are too overwhelming. There is no replacing a friend 💔 but you might still need help. Best wishes and my deepest sympathies ❤
I'm so sorry for your loss. The only advice I can give is, don't run from the grief and/or try to bury it. Eventually comes back to you stronger than it would have been, and can really wreck your life for a while. Also, you have a very loving family group. Just let them be there for you anytime you need them, but also, don't be afraid to take your personal space when you need it to, as long as you're not completely shutting everyone out. Just remember, those that leave us are never completely gone. A part of them will always live on in our hearts and souls.
Serenity I’m sorry for your loss. Everyone handles loss differently, what you are feeling is important sharing with anyone you trust might help. Therapy is fantastic. Reaching out when you are unsure of your feelings, sometimes talking to a stranger can help.
Grief is hard in the best of times. Not all of my coping skills are good ones. I try to hold on to the happiest memories, knowing that the pain of the loss may never leave me. Writing poems helps. Maybe someday, I'll learn to write songs like you, Serenity. I'm so sorry this happened. My heart is with you.
Grief is not an easy emotion for folks to be able to handle gracefully sometimes. It sure was not for me. I miss my children more than anything in the world. I almost left on my own accord myself but my pregnancy was the only thing that gave me the reason to stay. I lost my entire family. I only had two adults and a sister growing up my entire lifetime and one day I had lost them all. I still do not have any family members nor any adult friends and although I’m used to being alone mostly in my bedroom 23 hours a day silence has become easier and a bit more comfortable and peaceful for me. I feel that you are so very blessed to have had such a wonderful friend in your life. You have such a beautiful and loving family. I really like how you are all there for each other as you all are. I always used to envy all the other children that I would play or hang out with in the neighborhood and at schools because they all had real families with moms and dads uncles aunts and cousins and grandparents and I wanted to feel loved and taken care of like they were. I never had felt that love and caringness until I had my own children that’s where I learned what that kind of love felt like. I guess that I had to lose everything and grieve awhile before I began to feel differently about things. My children were my everything to me. It gets easier as you begin to change your thinking about things I guess. I am not in the bestest of situations and have not been for the past 14 years now due to trauma and mentally abusive husband but I started isolating and then started looking at things that I had to feel grateful for so it’s not that bad anymore to be quite honest but to me I think that you are an amazing mom,wife and friend. I know that you love and miss your friend what I would do is just talk with her. I still talk to my children even though they are not here. I think it’s been like therapeutic or something for me anyways. You know that they are with you when you think about them especially with loving happy and grateful memories. She will also let you know that she’s still around and that she still loves and cares for you still. 🥰
I am so sorry for your loss. I am so happy that you had the gift of a friend to be strong and brave where you faltered. That sounds so beautiful, and I wish I had someone like that. Try to remember her legacy, and how much impact and value she had in your life, and let her memory empower you to try some of the things that scare you. I know it’s a quote from a tv show, but it resonates with me…”What is grief, if not love, persevering?” Sending you love.
i'm sorry for your loss. maybe sharing some stories with the family might help? you already made a good step allowing yourself to freely cry and to acknowledge you are not ok. just take things one day at a time. keep yourself busy with errands or hobbies so that your mind is given a bit of a break.
I can relate & with I could be there for your mother to help her navigate this. But I probably can't because I don’t know you guys well-only through the videos.
I'm so sorry as well. I lost my most important to me... And my kids as well. It was my dad. I ordered and framed a beautiful copy of the poem "Look for Me in the Rainbows" it sounds silly bc I keep a few of his hats everywhere, but I but I ordered a crystal suncatcher the catches little prism rainbows. We were told to talk about the good times... I read you keep them in your heart. I journal... And I have heard an acoustic guitar /song of it. I have started taking pictures of sunrises and sunsets and sharing more of his story with my kids. My heart aches for you.
Your friend sounds like such a special person. I bet she positively affected everyone in her life, how lucky are you to have been able to feel love for and with her. She’s always gonna be by your side now 💜✨
I am so sorry. It is so difficult to lose someone who has been there in such a way. Big virual hugs sent your way. ❤ I don't there is a right way to grieve. But visiting a special place where the two of you liked to visit may help a bit.
Be very kind to yourself Serenity. Grief goes against all of our societal conditioning. Soldier on! show up! get over it! This is your own process, please honour yourself. Sending blessings ❤
I'm so sorry for your loss 🩷 All I can suggest is going along with whatever you feel, and riding the wave of grief. There's no right way to do it. You've lost someone who knew you so well and also supported you emotionally and practically, that will take a long time to process. I find it helps to talk to the person and let thought out verbally. Keep their name in conversations. And there's no timeline. You don't have to 'get over it'. Over time it becomes the new normal, and you live around the space that they left 🩷
When my mother died, I cried for one night, then felt hollow for a very long time. I felt like I would never feel emotions again because the absolute pain of them was too scary. It was a long time before I realized it was another form of masking. I started to take steps and created little rituals that reminded me of things I loved about my mother. When I go to a Mexican restaurant, I order a flan (her favorite dessert) and eat exactly half, saving the other half for her. There are other examples, of course, but I'm sure you get the gist. In these little rituals, I started to find the actions and activities that used the skills I most missed in my mother (being acutely frugal, being self sufficient, placing love where it will do the most good, etc.). Because I found those skills, I was able to improve on those skills. I was able to honor my mom by working on my own life in the ways that she used to take care of me. I am not saying that you need to take these steps immediately. It's a slow road, grief. It's one you must walk at a pace you can handle. But since I don't know your friend, and ultimately since I only know your family through these videos, I can at least say these are the steps that I found most helpful. I have found that love is not measured in how you made people feel, but how you changed their lives for the better. Your friend must have been a powerful source of love for you, supporting you in turn for supporting her in these ways. When grief comes knocking, it's okay to feel the powerful sadness. But it's also asking you to show her that her love changed your life. She must have been tremendously lovely. Take the time you need to show the world the love she gave you. Also, do not feel sad that it might take awhile to start walking that path. She did these things for you. She cared about your feelings and your wellbeing. So I believe she would want you to be in a place of wellness and peace before you start showing the world just how much she loved you and your family. Take it at your own pace. I hope this helps you and I hope you know that I am rooting for you to have all the love you need and then some.
What I learned (the hard way, of course) is that it's okay to be sad, even angry. Scream into the wind, beat a pillow with your fists, curse the gods & the Universe, what have you but don't dwell on it. Don't hurt yourself. That was my mistake. Hurting yourself takes many forms: Actual self mutilation but also being unkind to those trying to help you or emotionally punishing yourself for something you had no influence or involvement in. Remove guilt from the equation is what I'm saying which is far far easier said than done, I know. Therapy is an excellent avenue to travel down and once the sadness relents (it will never entirely go away and that's normal) celebrate your friend's legacy. Internally, finish some of those amazing conversations that were never wrapped up. Look at all those photos where your laughing and remember what was so darn funny about that moment. Memorialize perpetually all the good times and let time and the fragility of human memory erase any of the remonstrances. When you're own time comes, you will ideally be left with no regrets and Toren and your little girl will remember the beautiful example you set and heal themselves. Imagine perpetuating healing. Now that's a monument no one will ever forget. My condolences for your loss.
So sorry for your loss. She sounds like an amazing person. I found there are two parallel paths - one is a path of grief, the other is a path of responsibility. Both need tending to, and it's important to keep a balance of how much time you spend on each. If you stay on the path of grief too long, your day-to-day life (health, finance, loved ones, jobs) will suffer. If you focus too much on other things, distracting yourself through work and denying yourself time and space to grieve, you won't be able to process your emotions in a healthy way. Keep a balance, give yourself time for both and focus on positive coping mechanisms.
I’m really sorry about your friend, grief is brutal and it’s like wearing your skin inside out. I lost my soulmate to Cancer 3yrs ago and it was all encompassing. Seeing a grief therapist has really helped me the last 18 months. Grief will follow you wherever you are, so I’ve found walking through it is the only way. Trying to push it away just prolongs the pain and process. I also talk to my girlfriend usually on my way to work as it’s often an hour drive through the country, so no traffic, this is where I cry too. I’m lucky to have her music she recorded so I listen to that, and it will either relax me or I will cry, both leave me feeling better. The first year though was incredibly hard, and at different times it will get harder again, as she would have turned 60 on her birthday this year. I walked beside her with her grief as she lost her 24yr old son 1 year before we met, her pain made me cry a number of times, because I just wanted to take her pain away. But what I do know is the grief is as deep as your love for that person, and I think about the love and everything she taught me. She also lets me know when she is around and that helps. I also practice gratitude, I will say I’m grateful for her love and being able to experience that depth of love, I also that her for the lessons I learnt from her. I talk about her a lot and I think about her daily. I message her Daughter on Brother’s anniversary and her mother’s, on their birthday’s and do the same for her Sister, it helps me to focus on them too, and what they lost a Mother and Sister. I also Pat my dog very often that helps. I’m very very sorry for your loss, it’s a big loss. Just know it’s healthy and pretty normal to feel like your legs have been taken out from underneath you. It’s a cliche but only time will ease your pain, and it will still ebb and flow over the years, it’s taken me 2.5yrs to want to get out into the world and start living again. It’s like trying to walk through quicksand. Wishing you all the best, take it 1hr at a time, then when you can one day at a time.
I am so sorry you lost your friend! Give yourself permission to feel. Be gentle with yourself. There are no rules or timelines to grief. Don’t judge yourself based on where you think you should be. Glad you’re talking to a therapist. That was a huge help to me when I was in pain. When I was grieving, I would listen to my comfort audiobooks over and over. I would take long walks every night so that I would be exhausted and be able to sleep later. If you find things bring you comfort, then allow that for yourself. A lot of us have people we’ve relied on taken from us. I hope you find all the support you need.
Oh Serenity, I’m so, so sorry for your loss ❤️ You are such a beautiful soul. I’m so glad you had her in your life. If you’d like a penpal, I’d be honored. Thank you for being open and vulnerable. Grief is…impossible, but we’re still here. Let yourself think of her wherever you see or hear or smell something that reminds you. Try to remember the good times and let yourself cry or rage or laugh as you feel the need to. Don’t stuff it down. Breathe. Take another step. Shower. Eat. Sleep. Connect. Get through another day. It takes time, but it’ll get easier. Not because the loss is less, but because you’ll be stronger, even if you break down crying teen or twenty years from now. And all that is okay ❤ Sending love from NY.
So so sorry Serenity, writing poetry and Journaling has always been my go to. You're in my thoughts and prayers 🙏 ❤️ allow yourself this time to grieve. I was so busy caring for my downs syndrome brother and autistic granddaughter, that my moms passing hit me like a ton of bricks 3 years later. Please take good care ❤❤
Having experienced grief many times throughout my life already, my best advice to anyone would be to be kind to yourself & let yourself *feel* I know it sounds simple, but so often we resist feeling our emotions and we are hard on ourselves. We have to be kind to ourselves and give ourselves what we need in times of grief. Serenity, take all the time you need to grieve and don’t expect more from yourself than you can give right now. I feel a kinship with you-I too expect a lot from myself. But just as we are kind and understanding of others, we have to give that to ourselves too. Wishing you both the best on your healing journey. 🙏❤️
Allowing yourself to feel "negative" feelings in a society that deems them as weak is difficult because then we see ourselves as weak. It's hard to change this mindset because we live in it without even knowing. At least, that's how I feel. A good practice that I've learnt recently is to "agree" yes I am sad that I (in your case lost a love one) it hurts (that I will not get to see them again). Then, create an action or a "positive" to go along with the negative. I am happy that (they were in my life and they helped me grow), and I will (get past this and remember them in almost everything I do). I read it in a book called "You Don't Own Anyone". I've really enjoyed the book so far! The author talks about growing up with a brother who has autism and her experience being a perfectionist and people pleaser. Thank you for sharing your experiences so openly. I am so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful person, and I'm sad I never got the chance to meet her. Thank you for also sharing her story with us!
So sorry your dear friend is no longer physically here, but remember she'll forever be in your hearts with the wisdom she has shared with you! Please take the time for the feelings, time to adjust to the change, also on a different level with your friend and no doubt you all will find your way and feel that connection with your dearest friend again! Feeling lost and not knowing what to do totally is okay and acknowledging you feel like that and being able to communicate this with your loved ones is such a big thing to be able to do in this situation and I'm thankful you did and you're surrounded by such a heartwarming caring family. Much love and strength to you all! 🙌🏾💗💗💗💕💕💕
For me, grief is too heavy a burden to bear. Cry out to Jesus to help you carry it. He will always be faithful. He cried himself when his good friend died, even though he raised Lazarus from the dead minutes later. ❤ Praying for you tonight.
My heart is with you Serenity ❤ that friend that you’ve described I’ve never found that in a person, that is such a blessing you were able to have the time that was given with her. But I have had people close to me pass from this life to the next. Working through your emotions is valid and needed. Don’t suppress your emotions and work through each stage of grief in a healthy way. When you cry, know you’re crying with a purpose, each tear brings healing. And from my chaotic walk in this life I have come to know Jesus (of Nazareth) brings healing as well. No not religion…..Jesus. I will keep you in my prayers. Sending hugs and love to you 🙏💕
I'm sorry for your loss. Grief can be devastating, for a while. Cry if you feel like it. If you are up for it, you can write her a letter about how you feel. Accepting that it is how it is. Remember things, how she enriched your life. Write a song about her: you're creative in that. All these things are helping you. And remember: there is no such thing as 'not so well.' It's your unique path, the way you handle things. Much love and strength. 💜🌈🌹🙏
หลายเดือนก่อน
The best course of action is to just allow yourself to feel whatever you feel, preferably not holding any emotions in. If you have to cry , cry. If you feel angry, let the anger out by hitting a pillow. If you feel like journaling, that's also good. Whatever you need. But most importantly, know that the final stage is acceptance and that it will come eventually. ❤
If it's any comfort, you will never forget, they will always be in some corner of your heart, but with times, it does get easier. It feels like you lost a sister, and I lost my mother when I was 22. It's been 10 years, and i still grieve. Grieving is difficult, and it doesn't pass easily when it's someone close, it's normal. It helps to talk about it. Grieving is personal. You feel lost, you might also feel sadness, i mostly felt anger. To put it bluntly, it sucks and it will suck for a while, but not forever.
So sorry to hear that, cancer really sucks and there are no shortcuts for grief, most of the time you just have to live through it...I still miss a lot my best friend (dead at the age of 14 for a heart malformation), my grandmother (dead at 94), a lot of relatives (dead for cancer)...time can lessen the hurt, but sometimes it can resurface again. Now. I don't have any diagnosis and maybe I am neurotypical, so I don't know how much it can help, but please everyone in your family help your mother, allow her to rest a lot, feel whatever she is feeling and express the emotion in the way that she wants. The pain caused by grief needs to get out, otherwise it just gets worse. One thing that really helps me is to sing some songs to honor my beloved (one of my favorite is a song called "the river is flowing", there are many different versions but the one that I like the most was sung by a Norwegian actress for a movie, and it's just one voice and guitar), or she could compose something for her friend, channeling her emotions through her art. I really wish the best for all of you, especially Serenity, and for the family of this friend of yours. A huge hug 💚
Oh im so so sprry for your loss. She sounded the most beautiful soul ❤ sending much love . Just take small strps and cry if you need to. Dont let it overwelm you and maybe do something to comemorate your friend . She'll always be with you until you meet again ❤
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Good, longtime friends are so precious. I'm about to write a novel because, unfortunately, I have had a lot of experience with losing loved ones. Here goes. There are 2 things I have found really help with facing grief: 1. This first one is basically just to face your feelings. Day by day, as feelings bubble up, I do my best to identify what I am feeling and accept that I am feeling it. I try not to do anything with the feeling because I find that it can turn into toxic positivity as I try to make myself feel the "correct" way. I have learned that people mean more to me than I think (even when I know I love them a lot) and in ways I don't expect. I always learn something about a person at their funeral, and it can be like a gut punch because they were even more special than I knew, and I missed it somehow. Also, feelings will just bubble up, explode up, float up from somewhere inside me at random times. Something going on around me will trigger a memory of the person I lost, and I suddenly feel angry, sad, or even happy. I think to myself, "That person I love who is gone would LOVE to be here." and I'll smile at the happy image. Or I'll think "They would have done this so much better than I can.," and I'll be sad that I can't ask for help. Or I'll think "These people in the park are talking and laughing, and they have NO IDEA that the most wonderful person has just died. How can they be happy?" Even when I know my feelings are a bit irrational (like that last example) I acknowledge that I feel that way. ("I'm angry that I'm in so much pain while other people are having a wonderful day. It's ok that I feel that way. I'm shocked by the disparity between my life right now and theirs; I'm not a bad person.") 2. To keep myself from sinking into too much despair, I try to balance my feelings about the loss. I try to view "both sides of the coin" by accepting that grieving so much indicates the person was a wonderful addition to my life. An example would be my mom. She died when I was really young, so I think about it as "I got 6 wonderful years with my mom, and I am better off for having known her. But, because I know I had such a good mom, I also know I have missed out on so much since she died, and that hurts." I hope this helps a little bit.
I'm very sorry ! You have such a loving, & supportive family, which is wonderful during this time. It's good you're in therapy too. There's no right, or wrong way to grieve, we're all different. You'll go through a roller coaster of emotions, which is difficult; but absolutely natural. Don't let anyone rush your grief, so that you put on a mask. You've lost a very special soul, so take your time to heal. Every laugh, or tear over a dear memory; is a way to honor, & cherish your beloved friend. My love & sympathy to you all.
I'm so so sorry Mama Serenity, losing anyone close to you can seem overwhelming. And it true is . We all handle our deal with grief in our own time frame and anytime that you do grieve is valid not only to you but everyone around you. Grief never turkey how away but it does get easier with time. Love and miss of his to you and your family ❤
Praying for you beautiful sweet and loving Serenity. I am praying for you. I know first hand what this is like. As someone has said there are no rules or deadlines for grief. If you feel it then express your feelings. Talk it out with the people that you love and trust. Sending sister hugs to you. Bless you. ❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏
As an AuDHDer who has processed a lot of grief in therapy, you have to sit in the grief until you get to a point of acceptance. I was stuck in grief for decades because I held the belief that it did something positive for me. Once I realised what it actually did and found a different way to meet the underlying need, I was able to see the whole picture and accept it for what it was and appreciate the lesson. It’s all about learning and growth
Sincere condolences. Don't worry. One day all the wonderful memories will make you laugh and smile again. Thanks for sharing her with us. Hope you are doing better soon. Best wishes to you and yours.
I am so sorry for you all. You will always carry your friend in your heart. You are allowed to take time to fall to pieces in the safety of those that you trust. Music is the main thing that enfolds me in my grief but when it’s really hard, all you have to do is keep breathing and everything else can wait. Much love
1st, soooooo sorry for having to lose someone so central to your life Serenity 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 There's no one way to grieve. Sometimes you'll laugh at the fun you had. Other times you'll cry rivers of tears because the heartbreak overwhelms everything else. Grief, pain, tears, and all the rest of it, are the results of actually loving someone - and is how the love that has nowhere physical to go escapes us and makes it's way to the being (pets as well as humans) that you continue to love. Promise. Too, personal belief here: you WILL see her again. And every day from this time forward is one day closer to that reunion. Hold onto this thought and eventually you'll be able to feel more joy than the pain you now feel. And know it's okay to weep and laugh 100 years from now as much as today. Or 1000 times a day as much as a millisecond.
I’m so sorry for your loss. The thing about grief is that it just hurts regardless. I think what has helped me navigate the ending of my time with people in general (passing or just leaving my life for other reasons bc this can be very hard for me) is: 1. Allowing days of doing nothing but screaming and crying or staring at a wall if I must 2. Forcing moments of doing anything but those and sometimes I don’t even congratulate myself, just a don’t mention it. Other times, I do 3. Doing things they loved or honoring them in some way because I feel connected to them or to that idea that I can still talk to them and be with them in a new way 4. Going to others when I can because needing more support in this time is alright. Needing things like attention, someone to talk to, someone to make you a meal. I have a hard time with reaching out for help, but I’ve noticed when I allowed myself to either ask or receive if it was just given, it helped in the long run 5. Repeating how I feel to myself for some reason comforts me
I’m so sad for you! Losing someone very special to you is like losing a part of yourself. I understand how you feel because I too lost someone who I was very close to. I also have autism and most likely ADD and have always struggled with terrible anxiety and depression. What I found helpful was talking to other people about her, how I was feeling, and about the happy memories I had with her. Having people listen and sympathize helped me to not feel as lost. I prayed and other people prayed for me too. I did a LOT of crying which I know is a very healthy way to grieve. You may find comfort in talking to or just being there to listen to other people that loved her too because you’ll know that you’re not all alone in your sadness. You could try writing how you feel in a diary and could draw or write poems or songs about your friend or about what you are going through. Treat yourself to something that you love to do or eat or watch or listen to. Don’t be afraid to let people know if you need help with anything or need extra time alone away from people. Sometimes it helps to keep busy. I find that if I withdrawal from the world for a long period of time or shut down completely because something is too difficult to cope with, I get stuck in my grief and depression and it is harder to get back into the swing of things. Definitely take some time though to yourself and to take a break from stressful things when you can. Let yourself go through all the steps of grief. Sending love and prayers your way! ❤ 🙏🏻
So sorry to hear this. I also lost my best friend a couple of months ago. She died suddenly and I wasn't prepared at all. I've been mourning all this time and I still cry almost every day. I guess that's the only healthy way to go through such a loss. By just letting yourself feel all of it and crying whenever you feel like it. I feel very grateful that I got to share my life with her and that she helped me through so much. I feel like she's still supporting me and I hear her words in my head comforting me and helping me through this.
I am so very sorry for your loss. You are a beautiful and strong woman but it's okay to be sad and handle the grief the way you need to. There is not a right or wrong way. I am sending you love, you are such a gentle and beautiful soul
Awwwwww Toren 💖💖 i love how sweet & supportive you are of your mums journey ❤ my 16yr old son is asd & i am late diagnosed my son is the only loving suppot i have but his way of "supporting" me is by smothering me with his need for attention.. its actually really distressing rather than helpful 😢 im his regulator so when I'm struggling emotionally he becomes unsettled quite quickly & requires more support from me; thus the cycle just gets tougher
Dear. That is SO hard. I am so sorry for your loss. You lost a family member. Don’t be hard on yourself when it comes to being put together, or anything like that. Those connections are irreplaceable. It’s okay to just be. Follow what your heart tells you to do ❤ Let it out. Find a safe place. If any of you need to be alone, take that time. If you need a family member, don’t be afraid to ask for support. You’re all lovely. I’m wishing you all well.
I have had to deal with death from a young age, cancer has taken too many people from me. In the 5th grade I lost my best friend to cancer,I think about her a lot and cry and mourn still and I am 30 years old. For me grieving never ends, it does get easier to cope with but I am a very emotional person who feels deeply so for me there is always grief in my heart. It has become part of my life and it won’t leave because that is the circle to life. I ask my loved ones to come visit me and spiritually I know they are always there. I choose to believe we will be reunited again 💜
I can relate to Serenity so much. I lost my grandmother with whom I was very close almost a year ago, and the grief still feels overwhelming to me most days. I wish I had advice, but the reality is that I could also use some advice for handling immense grief. Sending love. ❤
My condolences to the grief you and the wolf family are experiencing, as we all go through our grieving moments in life, the ache does ease overtime. I’m no expert by any means, but typically what I’ve experienced to be the most helpful strategies and options, let out emotions as it heals the ache inside. Avoid important decision making while releasing emotions, as that never does anyone any good. Most importantly, be kind to yourself while grieving. May the wolf family be protected by the divine and heal from the suffering.🙏
Hi Serenity, I'm so sorry you lost such a good friend, and I feel some of that sadness with you. I think that part of grief is the sadness, anger, and other uncomfortable feelings we have when our loved one isn't on earth with us any more. Another part of grief is re-working our life without that person there - figuring out how to do the scary things ourselves, or finding another person willing to take those on. I'm glad you're in therapy. Having someone to talk to can really help. The most important thing is to love yourself, be patient with yourself, like your friend did. There's no "right" way to grieve. And, there's no time limit. It's different for everybody. And what you do will be just right for you. Cry if you need to cry. Have a safe item to punch if you need to express anger. Your videos show a loving and supportive family, so trust that they are willing to help you as you grieve. Sending you healing wishes.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Recently I lost my grandma, ad a few months after that I lost my dear friend. My advice is: please, please be kind to yourself. Cry as much as you need, and talk talk talk about it if you need to. Eventually, time will adjust everything. You won't forget your friend, it will just become more bearable. You will talk about her without crying again. Be strong❤. Much love from Italy
I am truly sorry you are going thru this sweety. Know that you were blessed to have this person come into your life. My ❤️ breaks for you. You are in my prayers 🙏 big hugs.
SERENITY, you vividly and heartbreaking described your life without her. I felt similar when my spouse passed. Just keep talking about her, although it is painful. Di not stay quiet. Be with those you trust and love. I went to a grief counselor when my husband past. A painful process but helped me slowly heal.
I just want to say that I took have lost friends too. Not through death but through abandonment and it's just as painful. You have such a beautiful family and. It hurts me to see you sad. I will keep you in my thoughts. And also. You have a beautiful son. Turn to him. He just may be the light in your darkness. ❤
I’m sorry for your loss Serenity . Cry. Let those feelings out. Cry for as long as you need to. There are no limits or rules to how we grieve. Be kind to yourself. In time the tears will come less and less. And then they will sneak up on you when you least expect it. It’s a journey. The less we resist and go with the flow of it the easier it is on our hearts.
Talk to your friend She still hears you. Love never dies❤
Yes!
Tonidelisa, you said it well.
Grief, especially with sudden loss is very very painful and even more so for sensitive people. This is going to last a long time. It is NORMAL to grief and you might think you are losing your mind but you are not. Grief is part of love and a part of life.
It is taxing on the mind and body. So please know it is healthy to take breaks. Toni is right that you need to feel those feelings and release them. But it is also healthy to take breaks too. Watch funny movies or whatever can distract you for a while so your body can rebuild. Remember to eat, sleep and maintain yourself. It helps give you the strength to deal with it all. Good luck Serenity, I know it is hard. But you will learn to manage it with time. And, if anyone gets impatient and tells you to " move on" from it, ignore them.
I was also going to suggest crying as much as you need, it will probably come in waves. Try not to be hard on yourself 🩷
That is closest how it feels to me.
Just saw this , is heartbreaking to see any person , that is in any kind of pain. You guys are a very strong and fierce bunch. I know you’ll get each other through this, with so much patience and compassion. A Friendship , never dies , it always lasts. ❤ Best Wishes
Praying for you honey. I totally understand. My hubby passed away unexpectedly the end of July. I'm struggling without him. I'm neurodivergent/autistic which makes it even harder to deal with. We were married and together for 41 years. Praying had helped me immensely. People praying for me has helped as well. I know I'll see him again very very soon as he is with Jesus. Take your time to heal. Everyone deals with grief differently. Praying for you and sending love.
I'm so sorry Serenity. The best way to get through grief is to let yourself feel all of the feelings. Let yourself cry. The best way to get through grief is to let yourself go through grief without hindrance. I lost my little sister to a drunk driver 12 years ago on August 12th and it was really hard. Be long to yourself. You had a huge loss. Sending love and prayers and hugs ❤
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Yes, don't try to handle it "better". Indulge the feelings, feel them, listen to them, comfort them.
Yes I came here to say the same thing. I had a good friend tell me grief comes in waves and you have to ride the waves.
Oh Mama-Serenity I am so sorry. You lost a sister, not just a friend. Whatever comes up is valid in whatever time frame it comes up in. Love to you all.
I'm so sorry for your great loss, Wolf family. Give yourself space to grieve however you need to. You are all in our thoughts and prayers. 🥺🙏✌️💖🕯
My heart breaks for you both! Serenity, my only suggestion would be to pour your heart and soul into something to commemorate your friend who was closer than some family. Write a song, or an album of songs. Create a memorial of some kind. Design a scrapbook. Write a novel about your friends life. Something you can get deep into. Something that resonates with you. Something that makes us all fall in love with the beauty of your friend and her dedication to you.
Also....It wasn't that she was brave when you were not, she helped you be your bravest self. Being brave isn't something we can compare and quantify. She was brave, you were brave. Letting her into your life and heart in the ways that you did is the bravest thing of all.
My condolences. Everyone handles grief differently. When my mom died i kept bursting in tears (i usually don't cry). I jog as a way to deal with stress, but back then i was crying while running. The whole time i felt like a heavy stone was on my chest. But gradually over time it became lighter and more tolerable. I still miss her and there is an empty space in my life,but i can deal with it now. Wishing you strength
Serenity and Wolf family- I'm sorry for your loss! You are So lucky to have had a friend like this in your life! Leaning on your family will be my best advice, because they are awesome! You are a strong person Serenity!!❤
I expect this to be cold comfort, but I think when you grieve like this, it is because you were loved just as much you chose to love. Your friend's love for you is in your heart forever. This is overwhelming right now, but at some point, I have no idea when , you will be able to grieve and feel at peace at the same time. Some people need to run and sweat and distract themselves during the day,and then let it out at night, and some people need to sit in daylight in their homes and weep privately because if they wait until nightfall it makes it impossible to sleep. If you can't sleep at all, it will make grieving worse. When you lie down in bed at night, you might try saying out loud or just in your mind, she loved me like I love her and friendship like ours never ends. I mean say it again and again while breathing as slowly as possible, for like half an hour. That's the best thing I can think of right now. I am so sorry for your loss.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
That was a good advice to me. Thank You!
@@katzenbekloppt_mf glad to help
that was so beautiful. thank you for sharing.
I lost my parents a few years ago when I was 19. Today is my father’s birthday in fact. I have no advice but to say that the people we love never really leave us. I see my parents everyday; the warm sun on my skin reminds me of my mother. A rock song on the radio is my father. Every thing they touched and loved is still alive, and I can still be with them in ways they touched.
I can also say that time helps. The grief never gets smaller but I have grown bigger around my grief.
Edit: I want to also say how beautiful of a person your friend is. I can tell she was such a special person filled with so much love. You are lucky to have known each-other. Her artwork looks amazing. Her light will never dim. I know how repetitive it can feel to hear, but I am so sorry for your loss. Cancer sucks.
💞💗💞
Happy Birthday to your papa 💜🌸
Therapy is the best path, in my opinion. You’re doing the right thing, momma. It’s okay to grieve and feel all of those feelings, and let your support system do their supporting. This breaks my heart. Sending so much love your way ❤
The social worker at my dad's hospice reminded me that I had decades of fond memories to draw on. My brain at the time would not stop showing me the bad times at the very end of his life. But a reminder to think of good times on purpose sometimes really did help.
Yes, let yourself feel your feelings, and cry when crying wants to happen. That's really important, too. ❤
But draw some good memories to mind when you can. Just for yourself internally, or to share with others whatever formats feel right to you. Tell stories the people who knew her and/or people who didn't. Write songs. Fingerpaint :)
What helps me the most is talking about it with other Neurodivergent people in grief. I talk in discord about my grief a lot. Even just reading other people experience of grief helps me understand my own better.
Since your mom is late diagnosed, I'd suggest trying to stim through grief. A lot of us don't stim or stim in very small ways now, and have suppressed a really essential self regulating tool. So just try to stim even if it feels a bit unnatural, and see if it helps. It does help me sometimes.
Something I struggle with a lot is the balance between feeling/processing my emotions, and not burning myself out from it/melting down. Active grieving takes a heavy toll, I am exhausted for days afterwards, sometimes weeks. The kind of exhaustion where its hard to even get myself food. So sometimes I do have to push my grief down, dissociate perhaps. Just because I know I don't have the reserves to process emotions right then and also still care for myself.
But something I have also learned is I cant push it down for too long. If I do, I start to get very anxious 'for no reason', and feel scared and shaken, like the floor might collapse under me metaphorically. If I push the grief away, the grief just waits for me to be finished. It's never gone.
I'm very sorry for your loss. She sounds like a beautiful person who loved you so much.
Hi Serenity ❤ Two things that helped me when I lost my father.
First, grief is like a stone in your pocket. It's heavy and it weighs you down, but the more you carry that stone, the lighter it gets because you become stronger. You never forget that stone, it will always be in your pocket…but it’s not as debilitating anymore.
Second: “People think that grief slowly gets smaller with time. In reality, grief stays the same size. But slowly life begins to grow bigger around it" - Dr. Lois Tonkin
I am so sorry serenity. I send you all love and huge hugs tonight. My best friend was my grandmother, and I remember when she passed away, I would take long walks and talk to her as if she was right there with me. And when my one daughter died, I can remember driving down to the cemetery and sitting at her plot for hours at a time and just crying. Everybody deals with it differently. Please don’t put so much pressure on yourself. You’re doing great. Even if you don’t think so. And I’m sorry it’s so hard for you right now. Breaks my heart. I love you guys so much even though I don’t know you in person and my kids and I will be keeping you in our love and prayers. And when too much is going on inside, just take it a breath at a time. Especially when a day at a time is too much to ask.
Sending much love to you, Serenity. I am so sorry. There must be a huge hole that was filled by this loving person who 'got' you, a soul sister, and, though you were lucky to have each other, these soul connections are rare gems😢 🙏
P.S. I wrote this as a reply to another person, but thought to share here. I lost my closest sister (I have one other) in Dec. 2020. I spent months listening to 70s/80s music that reminded me of her , then my precious 12 yr old other 'best friend' (my dog) got cancer and had to be put down 8 months after my sister's death. It's be n 3 years and it's been rocky..went thru all the stages of grief and the anger was huge due to my autism (I couldn't take all the loss, really). I am in a better place but for an autistic person that feels just like the regular 1000% energy expenditure to function a neurotypical's world. It might take time but that's ok. It's wrecked my physical and mental health grieving so hard and have to get up
I don't have a lot of suggestions other than saying that feeling lost and not knowing how to navigate it all feels like it make sense for someone who lost their protector, their facilitator, and their north star. How would you know?
I find it comforting to immerse myself in their presence as much as I can, as early as I can. Pictures, video, sitting in their space, remembering. Feeling the pain of their loss so I can remember why I needed them so bad, and why their loss IS so impactful. Letting yourself feel so sad about it so you can really embrace what it was about them you miss so much. Maybe it seems like much for most people, but I need that. If all I have is memories, I feel like I can't afford to forget. Maybe some of who they were and what they loved will be a part of me after that.
I'm so sorry for your loss, Serenity.
Hello Serenity, I’m truly sorry for your loss. I have no words, but if I could say this….
I wish I had a friend in my life the way you did. I’ve never had a friend that would have painted a room, protected and shielded me, or taken care of hard phone calls and come over in time of need. So honour your friend by smiling, hold your head high so she can still see your beautiful face and she will continue to live in your heart ❤
I've never had a friend like that either! Your friend was a blessing from God. We love u, Serenity. And u, too, Toren.
Big hugs dear ones...I wish I had words of wisdom...it takes time, tears, grief is different for everyone. For me my best, dearest friend of 30 years passed away 14 yrs ago after long illness, at first it was like walking thru broken glass, then after many tears a little less so. To this day I miss her terribly but it did get easier. Not much but enough to breathe without pain. Just cry when you feel like it, talk about your friend to your loved ones or even here if you are comfortable. You just have to keeping moving you have a great support system, let them help....much love to you all I will pray for all involved...
@@feliciareed297 what a beautiful, warm and heartfelt message, bless your sweet soul for sharing ❤️
@@STARRI4LIFEZZ yes we love Serenity, I wish I could be her friend, she has the most beautiful soul ❤️
I’m so sorry for your families loss and the pain that comes in waves. When you can breath try to breath deep and when the waves comes again don’t fight against it but let yourself go, cry, scream, get close to the ground - grounding to the earth will help soothe some of the hurt. My thoughts will be with you and yours ❤
When my mom’s best friend (who was like an aunt to us because my parents are immigrants and we don’t have extended family nearby), we put some pictures and things together in a box to look at when we really missed her. They was things that were too painful to have out but that we also wanted to have easily accessible to look at and touch. Also maybe write down what you always want to remember about her - favorite memories, how you met, how she helped you, what was special about your friendship.
Serenity, Toren and whole Wolf family,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I know she was just as lucky to have you all in her life as you were to have her.
How I have learned to grieve is to talk to them like they are still here. When I was younger I would go to their grave and lay out a blanket right in front of their headstone, play our favorite music, sometimes bring a meal. Sometimes I would spend hours laying there looking up at the clouds just talking to them. As time has passed (13 years now) I haven’t been back to the grave. I still talk to them. The conversations are shorter but I still tell them about the good, the bad, the secret…
I know it’s probably not a typical way of grieving but it’s how I got through it.
I totally get this! I feel like if I finally find out where they buried my dad (they did not tell me as I am the bad daughter, but I think over the ocean in his homecountry Argentina which is big...) I want to lie on his grave like to hug him, pay a mess for him to have a funeral for me and then I could finally put out the black clothes I put on the minute I heard he died over two years ago.
I cry with you because I lost my childhood friend this summer. The only thing I can say is ask for help and give yourself space to accept the pain because it has its place. Feel it, and honor it. As the strength of your love was strong❤ so will the grief be. The waves come and go, and slowly the shore moves. But the shore is never gone, it will always be there. I dont know if that makes sense...
As a cancer survivor myself, and also someone who recently lost a best friend to sudden death. This is totally relatable. Thank you for sharing Serenity ❤
I am so sorry for your loss 😢 i send my love 🙌 i have a tip to help with coping. I have been grieving recently and one thing i make sure to do is allow myself space to cry and stim. Just stim and cry and once the crying spell is over you can stim some more and then do an activity you love to do like art or reading. Keep repeating this as many times you need throughout the grieving process ❤
By handling grief just smile at all the good times you and her had together, remember that your best friend never wanted to see you sad or crying . Know that she's going to always be a piece of your heart, always and forever ❤
I totally get it it’s hard when someone passes away my mom best friend also died from cancer that my mom has new her for a couple of years she misses her but my still has some of the things she knit for her as a memory of her and so sorry for your lost
Grief is not easy and it’s not a quick heal. Everyone grieves differently in their own way. I personally lost both of my grandpas in 2023 one in February and one in March. Then in February 2024 I lost my Grandma five days before my birthday. I literally lost my best friend and to this day it sucks. I have days where I’m good and then on their anniversary’s I am very sad. What has helped me is having an animal nearby. Walking helps, cuddling helps, talking helps. I pray that this will ease.
I wish I could give you a big hug! You have an amazing family and I know that they will support you and give you all the time you need to heal❤
i just lost my brother, who was my best friend, as well. the only advice i have is to be gentle with yourself and those around you who might not understand how to react to your grief. sending so much love
My condolences! I lost my closest sister (I have one other) in Dec. 2020. I spent months listening to 70s/80s music that reminded me of her , then my precious 12 yr old other 'best friend' (my dog) got cancer and had to be put down 8 months after my sister's death. It's be n 3 years and it's been rocky..went thru all the stages of grief and the anger was huge due to my autism (I couldn't take all the loss, really). I am in a better place but for an autistic person that feels just like the regular 1000% energy expenditure to function a neurotypical's world. It might take time but that's ok.
I lost a best friend @ 13. I handle grief by always thinking of the ones I love, even when it hurts - remembering all the things that I loved and the things that I cherished and the things that they brought to my life. I like to infuse those energies into my artistic outlets. Jewelry, Drawing, Writing, everything that reminds me of them. The sadness is for me... the joy is for everyone who never got to meet them.
Grief is love with nowhere to go. I’m so sorry for your loss, Mama Wolf 😔 I lost someone very dear to me at the beginning of the summer and I’m never going to be the same. I’m so emotional about it that I’m literally losing my hair. My family is sad too, but they just don’t understand.
So so sorry to hear you’re stuggling. You know we are right behind them and we will see them so soon. I talked to a medium it really helped me
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've never had a friend like the one you've described, I'm glad you had the time together that you did, truly a gift. The room that she painted is absolutlely INCREDIBLE!!
Those we love take a piece of our heart when they go, but they always leave us a piece of theirs. There is no right way to grieve or wrong way. Grief is so real, so heart centered. What helped me: resourcing yourself (reaching out to others, self care, therapy, spirit if that works for you) allowing the emotions to come, knowing that in the allowing (however that looks for you) that the emotion will be felt, acknowledged and then pass through you. It’s okay to not feel, to not process, just not forever. You can go as deep into grief as you wish, just be aware of when you move into suffering (when the pattern of grieving/ processing becomes the thing often in a painful loop) and then have a plan to get out (spend time with your family, create, what ever brings you joy, etc.). Find ways to honor her that make sense to you, like doing something you both loved, or lighting a candle, your heart will know when you are ready.Above all, be gentle on yourself, love yourself like your friend loved you. Show yourselves endless compassion and know you are held and supported by a community that adores you.
Also, for me, breathwork, (trauma informed breathwork) has been amazing in my healing. This is my gift, my skill, I can and will be delighted to hold space for you in a way that meets your needs…… I specialize in late diagnosed people like us, in a judgement free, loving, accepting way, fully allowing for your choice, needs and pace….. DM me at any time if you would like session, when ever you need it. No cost, a love offering to match your beautiful soul. You are held in a loving light by all that are here.
It is scary to lose support. I don’t have more words, but I can empathize. ❤
Oh my heart… be gentle with yourself. May your friend shine down on you & always know how proud she is of you. ❤
Everyone has talked about how important it is to feel the feelings and remember your friend. I recognize not only the loss of friendship, but the loss of support. Idk what is available to you but I’d definitely consider trying to find extra support to help handle the things that are too overwhelming. There is no replacing a friend 💔 but you might still need help. Best wishes and my deepest sympathies ❤
I'm so sorry for your loss. The only advice I can give is, don't run from the grief and/or try to bury it. Eventually comes back to you stronger than it would have been, and can really wreck your life for a while. Also, you have a very loving family group. Just let them be there for you anytime you need them, but also, don't be afraid to take your personal space when you need it to, as long as you're not completely shutting everyone out. Just remember, those that leave us are never completely gone. A part of them will always live on in our hearts and souls.
Serenity I’m sorry for your loss. Everyone handles loss differently, what you are feeling is important sharing with anyone you trust might help. Therapy is fantastic. Reaching out when you are unsure of your feelings, sometimes talking to a stranger can help.
Grief is hard in the best of times. Not all of my coping skills are good ones. I try to hold on to the happiest memories, knowing that the pain of the loss may never leave me. Writing poems helps. Maybe someday, I'll learn to write songs like you, Serenity. I'm so sorry this happened. My heart is with you.
Grief is not an easy emotion for folks to be able to handle gracefully sometimes. It sure was not for me. I miss my children more than anything in the world. I almost left on my own accord myself but my pregnancy was the only thing that gave me the reason to stay. I lost my entire family. I only had two adults and a sister growing up my entire lifetime and one day I had lost them all. I still do not have any family members nor any adult friends and although I’m used to being alone mostly in my bedroom 23 hours a day silence has become easier and a bit more comfortable and peaceful for me. I feel that you are so very blessed to have had such a wonderful friend in your life. You have such a beautiful and loving family. I really like how you are all there for each other as you all are. I always used to envy all the other children that I would play or hang out with in the neighborhood and at schools because they all had real families with moms and dads uncles aunts and cousins and grandparents and I wanted to feel loved and taken care of like they were. I never had felt that love and caringness until I had my own children that’s where I learned what that kind of love felt like. I guess that I had to lose everything and grieve awhile before I began to feel differently about things. My children were my everything to me. It gets easier as you begin to change your thinking about things I guess. I am not in the bestest of situations and have not been for the past 14 years now due to trauma and mentally abusive husband but I started isolating and then started looking at things that I had to feel grateful for so it’s not that bad anymore to be quite honest but to me I think that you are an amazing mom,wife and friend. I know that you love and miss your friend what I would do is just talk with her. I still talk to my children even though they are not here. I think it’s been like therapeutic or something for me anyways. You know that they are with you when you think about them especially with loving happy and grateful memories. She will also let you know that she’s still around and that she still loves and cares for you still. 🥰
Feel You!
I am so sorry for your loss. I am so happy that you had the gift of a friend to be strong and brave where you faltered. That sounds so beautiful, and I wish I had someone like that. Try to remember her legacy, and how much impact and value she had in your life, and let her memory empower you to try some of the things that scare you. I know it’s a quote from a tv show, but it resonates with me…”What is grief, if not love, persevering?” Sending you love.
i'm sorry for your loss. maybe sharing some stories with the family might help? you already made a good step allowing yourself to freely cry and to acknowledge you are not ok. just take things one day at a time. keep yourself busy with errands or hobbies so that your mind is given a bit of a break.
I can relate & with I could be there for your mother to help her navigate this. But I probably can't because I don’t know you guys well-only through the videos.
Serenity is the best coolest name
Sending you love and prayers ! You will have so many dear memories with your friend! God bless you! ❤🙏🏻
I handle grief by journal and listen to books and that makes me lost in a different world until I feel better
I'm so sorry as well. I lost my most important to me... And my kids as well. It was my dad. I ordered and framed a beautiful copy of the poem "Look for Me in the Rainbows" it sounds silly bc I keep a few of his hats everywhere, but I but I ordered a crystal suncatcher the catches little prism rainbows. We were told to talk about the good times... I read you keep them in your heart. I journal... And I have heard an acoustic guitar /song of it. I have started taking pictures of sunrises and sunsets and sharing more of his story with my kids. My heart aches for you.
What helped me was recognizing grief as an expression of love for the person that is missed……..
Your friend sounds like such a special person. I bet she positively affected everyone in her life, how lucky are you to have been able to feel love for and with her. She’s always gonna be by your side now 💜✨
I am so sorry. It is so difficult to lose someone who has been there in such a way. Big virual hugs sent your way. ❤
I don't there is a right way to grieve. But visiting a special place where the two of you liked to visit may help a bit.
Be very kind to yourself Serenity. Grief goes against all of our societal conditioning. Soldier on! show up! get over it! This is your own process, please honour yourself. Sending blessings ❤
I'm so sorry for your loss 🩷 All I can suggest is going along with whatever you feel, and riding the wave of grief. There's no right way to do it. You've lost someone who knew you so well and also supported you emotionally and practically, that will take a long time to process.
I find it helps to talk to the person and let thought out verbally. Keep their name in conversations.
And there's no timeline. You don't have to 'get over it'. Over time it becomes the new normal, and you live around the space that they left 🩷
When my mother died, I cried for one night, then felt hollow for a very long time. I felt like I would never feel emotions again because the absolute pain of them was too scary. It was a long time before I realized it was another form of masking. I started to take steps and created little rituals that reminded me of things I loved about my mother. When I go to a Mexican restaurant, I order a flan (her favorite dessert) and eat exactly half, saving the other half for her. There are other examples, of course, but I'm sure you get the gist. In these little rituals, I started to find the actions and activities that used the skills I most missed in my mother (being acutely frugal, being self sufficient, placing love where it will do the most good, etc.). Because I found those skills, I was able to improve on those skills. I was able to honor my mom by working on my own life in the ways that she used to take care of me. I am not saying that you need to take these steps immediately. It's a slow road, grief. It's one you must walk at a pace you can handle. But since I don't know your friend, and ultimately since I only know your family through these videos, I can at least say these are the steps that I found most helpful. I have found that love is not measured in how you made people feel, but how you changed their lives for the better. Your friend must have been a powerful source of love for you, supporting you in turn for supporting her in these ways. When grief comes knocking, it's okay to feel the powerful sadness. But it's also asking you to show her that her love changed your life. She must have been tremendously lovely. Take the time you need to show the world the love she gave you. Also, do not feel sad that it might take awhile to start walking that path. She did these things for you. She cared about your feelings and your wellbeing. So I believe she would want you to be in a place of wellness and peace before you start showing the world just how much she loved you and your family. Take it at your own pace. I hope this helps you and I hope you know that I am rooting for you to have all the love you need and then some.
What I learned (the hard way, of course) is that it's okay to be sad, even angry. Scream into the wind, beat a pillow with your fists, curse the gods & the Universe, what have you but don't dwell on it. Don't hurt yourself. That was my mistake. Hurting yourself takes many forms: Actual self mutilation but also being unkind to those trying to help you or emotionally punishing yourself for something you had no influence or involvement in. Remove guilt from the equation is what I'm saying which is far far easier said than done, I know. Therapy is an excellent avenue to travel down and once the sadness relents (it will never entirely go away and that's normal) celebrate your friend's legacy. Internally, finish some of those amazing conversations that were never wrapped up. Look at all those photos where your laughing and remember what was so darn funny about that moment. Memorialize perpetually all the good times and let time and the fragility of human memory erase any of the remonstrances. When you're own time comes, you will ideally be left with no regrets and Toren and your little girl will remember the beautiful example you set and heal themselves. Imagine perpetuating healing. Now that's a monument no one will ever forget.
My condolences for your loss.
I’m crying for your loss. A friendship like that is precious. Remember all the good times. It’s all we can do
Oh, Serenity. May her memory be a blessing. Our love and condolences to you and yours. ❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍
So sorry for your loss. She sounds like an amazing person. I found there are two parallel paths - one is a path of grief, the other is a path of responsibility. Both need tending to, and it's important to keep a balance of how much time you spend on each. If you stay on the path of grief too long, your day-to-day life (health, finance, loved ones, jobs) will suffer. If you focus too much on other things, distracting yourself through work and denying yourself time and space to grieve, you won't be able to process your emotions in a healthy way. Keep a balance, give yourself time for both and focus on positive coping mechanisms.
I’m really sorry about your friend, grief is brutal and it’s like wearing your skin inside out. I lost my soulmate to Cancer 3yrs ago and it was all encompassing. Seeing a grief therapist has really helped me the last 18 months. Grief will follow you wherever you are, so I’ve found walking through it is the only way. Trying to push it away just prolongs the pain and process. I also talk to my girlfriend usually on my way to work as it’s often an hour drive through the country, so no traffic, this is where I cry too. I’m lucky to have her music she recorded so I listen to that, and it will either relax me or I will cry, both leave me feeling better. The first year though was incredibly hard, and at different times it will get harder again, as she would have turned 60 on her birthday this year. I walked beside her with her grief as she lost her 24yr old son 1 year before we met, her pain made me cry a number of times, because I just wanted to take her pain away. But what I do know is the grief is as deep as your love for that person, and I think about the love and everything she taught me. She also lets me know when she is around and that helps. I also practice gratitude, I will say I’m grateful for her love and being able to experience that depth of love, I also that her for the lessons I learnt from her. I talk about her a lot and I think about her daily. I message her Daughter on Brother’s anniversary and her mother’s, on their birthday’s and do the same for her Sister, it helps me to focus on them too, and what they lost a Mother and Sister. I also Pat my dog very often that helps. I’m very very sorry for your loss, it’s a big loss. Just know it’s healthy and pretty normal to feel like your legs have been taken out from underneath you. It’s a cliche but only time will ease your pain, and it will still ebb and flow over the years, it’s taken me 2.5yrs to want to get out into the world and start living again. It’s like trying to walk through quicksand. Wishing you all the best, take it 1hr at a time, then when you can one day at a time.
I am so sorry you lost your friend! Give yourself permission to feel. Be gentle with yourself. There are no rules or timelines to grief. Don’t judge yourself based on where you think you should be. Glad you’re talking to a therapist. That was a huge help to me when I was in pain. When I was grieving, I would listen to my comfort audiobooks over and over. I would take long walks every night so that I would be exhausted and be able to sleep later. If you find things bring you comfort, then allow that for yourself. A lot of us have people we’ve relied on taken from us. I hope you find all the support you need.
Oh Serenity, I’m so, so sorry for your loss ❤️ You are such a beautiful soul. I’m so glad you had her in your life. If you’d like a penpal, I’d be honored. Thank you for being open and vulnerable. Grief is…impossible, but we’re still here. Let yourself think of her wherever you see or hear or smell something that reminds you. Try to remember the good times and let yourself cry or rage or laugh as you feel the need to. Don’t stuff it down. Breathe. Take another step. Shower. Eat. Sleep. Connect. Get through another day. It takes time, but it’ll get easier. Not because the loss is less, but because you’ll be stronger, even if you break down crying teen or twenty years from now. And all that is okay ❤
Sending love from NY.
So so sorry Serenity, writing poetry and Journaling has always been my go to. You're in my thoughts and prayers 🙏 ❤️ allow yourself this time to grieve. I was so busy caring for my downs syndrome brother and autistic granddaughter, that my moms passing hit me like a ton of bricks 3 years later. Please take good care ❤❤
Having experienced grief many times throughout my life already, my best advice to anyone would be to be kind to yourself & let yourself *feel* I know it sounds simple, but so often we resist feeling our emotions and we are hard on ourselves. We have to be kind to ourselves and give ourselves what we need in times of grief. Serenity, take all the time you need to grieve and don’t expect more from yourself than you can give right now. I feel a kinship with you-I too expect a lot from myself. But just as we are kind and understanding of others, we have to give that to ourselves too. Wishing you both the best on your healing journey. 🙏❤️
Allowing yourself to feel "negative" feelings in a society that deems them as weak is difficult because then we see ourselves as weak. It's hard to change this mindset because we live in it without even knowing. At least, that's how I feel. A good practice that I've learnt recently is to "agree" yes I am sad that I (in your case lost a love one) it hurts (that I will not get to see them again). Then, create an action or a "positive" to go along with the negative. I am happy that (they were in my life and they helped me grow), and I will (get past this and remember them in almost everything I do). I read it in a book called "You Don't Own Anyone". I've really enjoyed the book so far! The author talks about growing up with a brother who has autism and her experience being a perfectionist and people pleaser. Thank you for sharing your experiences so openly. I am so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful person, and I'm sad I never got the chance to meet her. Thank you for also sharing her story with us!
So sorry your dear friend is no longer physically here, but remember she'll forever be in your hearts with the wisdom she has shared with you! Please take the time for the feelings, time to adjust to the change, also on a different level with your friend and no doubt you all will find your way and feel that connection with your dearest friend again! Feeling lost and not knowing what to do totally is okay and acknowledging you feel like that and being able to communicate this with your loved ones is such a big thing to be able to do in this situation and I'm thankful you did and you're surrounded by such a heartwarming caring family.
Much love and strength to you all! 🙌🏾💗💗💗💕💕💕
For me, grief is too heavy a burden to bear. Cry out to Jesus to help you carry it. He will always be faithful. He cried himself when his good friend died, even though he raised Lazarus from the dead minutes later. ❤ Praying for you tonight.
My heart is with you Serenity ❤ that friend that you’ve described I’ve never found that in a person, that is such a blessing you were able to have the time that was given with her. But I have had people close to me pass from this life to the next. Working through your emotions is valid and needed. Don’t suppress your emotions and work through each stage of grief in a healthy way. When you cry, know you’re crying with a purpose, each tear brings healing. And from my chaotic walk in this life I have come to know Jesus (of Nazareth) brings healing as well. No not religion…..Jesus. I will keep you in my prayers. Sending hugs and love to you 🙏💕
I'm sorry for your loss. Grief can be devastating, for a while. Cry if you feel like it. If you are up for it, you can write her a letter about how you feel. Accepting that it is how it is. Remember things, how she enriched your life. Write a song about her: you're creative in that. All these things are helping you. And remember: there is no such thing as 'not so well.' It's your unique path, the way you handle things. Much love and strength. 💜🌈🌹🙏
The best course of action is to just allow yourself to feel whatever you feel, preferably not holding any emotions in. If you have to cry , cry. If you feel angry, let the anger out by hitting a pillow. If you feel like journaling, that's also good. Whatever you need. But most importantly, know that the final stage is acceptance and that it will come eventually. ❤
I feel your grief with ypu. I love you both and am thankful for you!
If it's any comfort, you will never forget, they will always be in some corner of your heart, but with times, it does get easier. It feels like you lost a sister, and I lost my mother when I was 22. It's been 10 years, and i still grieve. Grieving is difficult, and it doesn't pass easily when it's someone close, it's normal. It helps to talk about it. Grieving is personal. You feel lost, you might also feel sadness, i mostly felt anger. To put it bluntly, it sucks and it will suck for a while, but not forever.
So sorry to hear that, cancer really sucks and there are no shortcuts for grief, most of the time you just have to live through it...I still miss a lot my best friend (dead at the age of 14 for a heart malformation), my grandmother (dead at 94), a lot of relatives (dead for cancer)...time can lessen the hurt, but sometimes it can resurface again. Now. I don't have any diagnosis and maybe I am neurotypical, so I don't know how much it can help, but please everyone in your family help your mother, allow her to rest a lot, feel whatever she is feeling and express the emotion in the way that she wants. The pain caused by grief needs to get out, otherwise it just gets worse. One thing that really helps me is to sing some songs to honor my beloved (one of my favorite is a song called "the river is flowing", there are many different versions but the one that I like the most was sung by a Norwegian actress for a movie, and it's just one voice and guitar), or she could compose something for her friend, channeling her emotions through her art. I really wish the best for all of you, especially Serenity, and for the family of this friend of yours. A huge hug 💚
Oh im so so sprry for your loss. She sounded the most beautiful soul ❤ sending much love . Just take small strps and cry if you need to. Dont let it overwelm you and maybe do something to comemorate your friend . She'll always be with you until you meet again ❤
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Good, longtime friends are so precious. I'm about to write a novel because, unfortunately, I have had a lot of experience with losing loved ones. Here goes.
There are 2 things I have found really help with facing grief:
1. This first one is basically just to face your feelings. Day by day, as feelings bubble up, I do my best to identify what I am feeling and accept that I am feeling it. I try not to do anything with the feeling because I find that it can turn into toxic positivity as I try to make myself feel the "correct" way. I have learned that people mean more to me than I think (even when I know I love them a lot) and in ways I don't expect. I always learn something about a person at their funeral, and it can be like a gut punch because they were even more special than I knew, and I missed it somehow. Also, feelings will just bubble up, explode up, float up from somewhere inside me at random times. Something going on around me will trigger a memory of the person I lost, and I suddenly feel angry, sad, or even happy. I think to myself, "That person I love who is gone would LOVE to be here." and I'll smile at the happy image. Or I'll think "They would have done this so much better than I can.," and I'll be sad that I can't ask for help. Or I'll think "These people in the park are talking and laughing, and they have NO IDEA that the most wonderful person has just died. How can they be happy?" Even when I know my feelings are a bit irrational (like that last example) I acknowledge that I feel that way. ("I'm angry that I'm in so much pain while other people are having a wonderful day. It's ok that I feel that way. I'm shocked by the disparity between my life right now and theirs; I'm not a bad person.")
2. To keep myself from sinking into too much despair, I try to balance my feelings about the loss. I try to view "both sides of the coin" by accepting that grieving so much indicates the person was a wonderful addition to my life. An example would be my mom. She died when I was really young, so I think about it as "I got 6 wonderful years with my mom, and I am better off for having known her. But, because I know I had such a good mom, I also know I have missed out on so much since she died, and that hurts."
I hope this helps a little bit.
I'm very sorry ! You have such a loving, & supportive family, which is wonderful during this time. It's good you're in therapy too. There's no right, or wrong way to grieve, we're all different. You'll go through a roller coaster of emotions, which is difficult; but absolutely natural. Don't let anyone rush your grief, so that you put on a mask. You've lost a very special soul, so take your time to heal. Every laugh, or tear over a dear memory; is a way to honor, & cherish your beloved friend. My love & sympathy to you all.
I’m sorry for your loss. You shared a real and special friendship. Sending love and gentleness from my heart to yours. ❤
I'm so so sorry Mama Serenity, losing anyone close to you can seem overwhelming. And it true is . We all handle our deal with grief in our own time frame and anytime that you do grieve is valid not only to you but everyone around you. Grief never turkey how away but it does get easier with time. Love and miss of his to you and your family ❤
😢❤❤❤❤❤
Praying for you beautiful sweet and loving Serenity. I am praying for you. I know first hand what this is like. As someone has said there are no rules or deadlines for grief. If you feel it then express your feelings. Talk it out with the people that you love and trust. Sending sister hugs to you. Bless you. ❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏
As an AuDHDer who has processed a lot of grief in therapy, you have to sit in the grief until you get to a point of acceptance. I was stuck in grief for decades because I held the belief that it did something positive for me. Once I realised what it actually did and found a different way to meet the underlying need, I was able to see the whole picture and accept it for what it was and appreciate the lesson. It’s all about learning and growth
Sincere condolences. Don't worry. One day all the wonderful memories will make you laugh and smile again. Thanks for sharing her with us. Hope you are doing better soon. Best wishes to you and yours.
I am so sorry for you all. You will always carry your friend in your heart. You are allowed to take time to fall to pieces in the safety of those that you trust. Music is the main thing that enfolds me in my grief but when it’s really hard, all you have to do is keep breathing and everything else can wait. Much love
1st, soooooo sorry for having to lose someone so central to your life Serenity 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
There's no one way to grieve. Sometimes you'll laugh at the fun you had. Other times you'll cry rivers of tears because the heartbreak overwhelms everything else.
Grief, pain, tears, and all the rest of it, are the results of actually loving someone - and is how the love that has nowhere physical to go escapes us and makes it's way to the being (pets as well as humans) that you continue to love. Promise.
Too, personal belief here: you WILL see her again. And every day from this time forward is one day closer to that reunion. Hold onto this thought and eventually you'll be able to feel more joy than the pain you now feel.
And know it's okay to weep and laugh 100 years from now as much as today. Or 1000 times a day as much as a millisecond.
Oh, I'm so sorry, Serenity! Love, hugs, and positive vibes to you and your family!
I'm so sorry, Serenity. I have a friend like that, and I'm terrified of losing him. ❤❤❤
I’m so sorry for your loss.
The thing about grief is that it just hurts regardless. I think what has helped me navigate the ending of my time with people in general (passing or just leaving my life for other reasons bc this can be very hard for me) is:
1. Allowing days of doing nothing but screaming and crying or staring at a wall if I must
2. Forcing moments of doing anything but those and sometimes I don’t even congratulate myself, just a don’t mention it. Other times, I do
3. Doing things they loved or honoring them in some way because I feel connected to them or to that idea that I can still talk to them and be with them in a new way
4. Going to others when I can because needing more support in this time is alright. Needing things like attention, someone to talk to, someone to make you a meal. I have a hard time with reaching out for help, but I’ve noticed when I allowed myself to either ask or receive if it was just given, it helped in the long run
5. Repeating how I feel to myself for some reason comforts me
Sending you all so much love and comfort during this time of change.
I’m so sad for you! Losing someone very special to you is like losing a part of yourself. I understand how you feel because I too lost someone who I was very close to. I also have autism and most likely ADD and have always struggled with terrible anxiety and depression.
What I found helpful was talking to other people about her, how I was feeling, and about the happy memories I had with her. Having people listen and sympathize helped me to not feel as lost. I prayed and other people prayed for me too. I did a LOT of crying which I know is a very healthy way to grieve. You may find comfort in talking to or just being there to listen to other people that loved her too because you’ll know that you’re not all alone in your sadness.
You could try writing how you feel in a diary and could draw or write poems or songs about your friend or about what you are going through. Treat yourself to something that you love to do or eat or watch or listen to. Don’t be afraid to let people know if you need help with anything or need extra time alone away from people.
Sometimes it helps to keep busy. I find that if I withdrawal from the world for a long period of time or shut down completely because something is too difficult to cope with, I get stuck in my grief and depression and it is harder to get back into the swing of things. Definitely take some time though to yourself and to take a break from stressful things when you can. Let yourself go through all the steps of grief.
Sending love and prayers your way! ❤ 🙏🏻
I'm so sorry for your loss, Serenity and Wolf Family. I wish I could take the pain away ❤️
So sorry to hear this. I also lost my best friend a couple of months ago. She died suddenly and I wasn't prepared at all. I've been mourning all this time and I still cry almost every day. I guess that's the only healthy way to go through such a loss. By just letting yourself feel all of it and crying whenever you feel like it. I feel very grateful that I got to share my life with her and that she helped me through so much. I feel like she's still supporting me and I hear her words in my head comforting me and helping me through this.
I am so very sorry for your loss. You are a beautiful and strong woman but it's okay to be sad and handle the grief the way you need to. There is not a right or wrong way. I am sending you love, you are such a gentle and beautiful soul
Awwwwww Toren 💖💖 i love how sweet & supportive you are of your mums journey ❤ my 16yr old son is asd & i am late diagnosed my son is the only loving suppot i have but his way of "supporting" me is by smothering me with his need for attention.. its actually really distressing rather than helpful 😢 im his regulator so when I'm struggling emotionally he becomes unsettled quite quickly & requires more support from me; thus the cycle just gets tougher
Dear. That is SO hard. I am so sorry for your loss. You lost a family member. Don’t be hard on yourself when it comes to being put together, or anything like that. Those connections are irreplaceable. It’s okay to just be. Follow what your heart tells you to do ❤ Let it out. Find a safe place. If any of you need to be alone, take that time. If you need a family member, don’t be afraid to ask for support. You’re all lovely. I’m wishing you all well.
I have had to deal with death from a young age, cancer has taken too many people from me. In the 5th grade I lost my best friend to cancer,I think about her a lot and cry and mourn still and I am 30 years old. For me grieving never ends, it does get easier to cope with but I am a very emotional person who feels deeply so for me there is always grief in my heart. It has become part of my life and it won’t leave because that is the circle to life. I ask my loved ones to come visit me and spiritually I know they are always there. I choose to believe we will be reunited again 💜
I can relate to Serenity so much. I lost my grandmother with whom I was very close almost a year ago, and the grief still feels overwhelming to me most days. I wish I had advice, but the reality is that I could also use some advice for handling immense grief. Sending love. ❤
My condolences to the grief you and the wolf family are experiencing, as we all go through our grieving moments in life, the ache does ease overtime. I’m no expert by any means, but typically what I’ve experienced to be the most helpful strategies and options, let out emotions as it heals the ache inside. Avoid important decision making while releasing emotions, as that never does anyone any good. Most importantly, be kind to yourself while grieving. May the wolf family be protected by the divine and heal from the suffering.🙏
Hi Serenity, I'm so sorry you lost such a good friend, and I feel some of that sadness with you. I think that part of grief is the sadness, anger, and other uncomfortable feelings we have when our loved one isn't on earth with us any more. Another part of grief is re-working our life without that person there - figuring out how to do the scary things ourselves, or finding another person willing to take those on. I'm glad you're in therapy. Having someone to talk to can really help. The most important thing is to love yourself, be patient with yourself, like your friend did. There's no "right" way to grieve. And, there's no time limit. It's different for everybody. And what you do will be just right for you. Cry if you need to cry. Have a safe item to punch if you need to express anger. Your videos show a loving and supportive family, so trust that they are willing to help you as you grieve. Sending you healing wishes.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Recently I lost my grandma, ad a few months after that I lost my dear friend. My advice is: please, please be kind to yourself. Cry as much as you need, and talk talk talk about it if you need to. Eventually, time will adjust everything. You won't forget your friend, it will just become more bearable. You will talk about her without crying again. Be strong❤. Much love from Italy
I am truly sorry you are going thru this sweety. Know that you were blessed to have this person come into your life. My ❤️ breaks for you. You are in my prayers 🙏 big hugs.
SERENITY, you vividly and heartbreaking described your life without her. I felt similar when my spouse passed. Just keep talking about her, although it is painful. Di not stay quiet. Be with those you trust and love. I went to a grief counselor when my husband past. A painful process but helped me slowly heal.
I just want to say that I took have lost friends too. Not through death but through abandonment and it's just as painful. You have such a beautiful family and. It hurts me to see you sad. I will keep you in my thoughts. And also. You have a beautiful son. Turn to him. He just may be the light in your darkness. ❤