This subject was so beautifully expressed. One that I think of often. I once asked a friend who'd moved here to Southern California from Florida, what are some of the differences. The first thing he said was "Here, you're not really sure who your friends are. In Florida, you know who they are." So there may be something to the thought of geograghical mind-sets . I lived in Florida for 3+ yrs and found that when people asked you how you were, they really wanted to know! I felt there was something to be said about Southern Hospitality being alive and well at the time. Yet, today in the world, it's different. Social media and cell phones are a huge culprit. Many don't seem to want to listen or share thoughts, experiences, perspectives if they don't agree. I find that outlook too confining to deal with! As I seem to draw people towards me that want to be friends, I've reached an interesting conclusion. I have always observed that 'a friend to all is a friend to none' and don't get involved with that whole scenario. I also count on my intuition and gut who to become involved with. Is this foolproof? No! But it's a valuable sifter, so to speak. I do value the memories I have of everyone I've known through work or in passing or whichever channels may have been instrumental in our paths crossing. After all, this is my life! I think, Annalisa, that there's a purpose for all of this. And that some are meant to be lifelong, or intense, or temporary or whatever the case may be. It's just up to us to realize our own worth and while sharing the wealth that we are, being wise enough to actually SEE how the other person is. Not how we'd like them to be. I, and still do, admit to becoming disappointed and let down when I realize that the other 'friend' isn't as sincere and truly wishing me well and being the sincere loyal friend I know I am. So I think of 'don't cast your pearls before swine' and move on. Lately I've felt a lack of female friendship and miss it terribly. Yet, I try to stay open and it is true. Solitude is seductive. I prefer it most of the time. But I do reach a point where I'm ready for Girls just wanna have fun! When we marry or have a significant other it usually takes up our time along with daily existence. I still think it's important to have meaningful female interaction and friendship s. I wake up with a "I love life and life loves me" attitude. Yet honestly i look around and see so much division amonst women and it makes me sad. I've known some very impressive women that made a huge impact on me. Are they still around? Yes. In my heart. In my life's expression. They are a part of me. And maybe that's the type of friendship there is for me. As usual, Annalisa, you are thought-provoking and get me going! I think of you often and even though I miss your more frequent vids, I always smile and am happy you are busy living your life. Isn't that what we're here for?!! I now know that people are better for knowing me. And now I ask would they do the same for me. This isn't tit for tat. It's valuing my time. The people that are keeping things real and are sincere will show up. Period. I see you putting a lot of sincerity and love out there. You're just weeding your garden so there's room for fragrant, beautiful blooms that will last you a lifetime even if only in your memory, in your heart. You are a glowing, beautiful, vibrant soul! Just being who you are is a blessing to our world❤🙏💝🌟🎯
Beautifully expressed and I enjoyed reading your writing, like a book. So many spot on observations. I thank you deeply for sharing something so viable and beautiful at the same time!❤️❤️
Well, well, well...good to see you again. What a topic! Here are my thoughts: I'm 71 and have only one good/best friend. We've been friends since high school but we live in different cities. She moved away 12 years ago. Since the pandemic, I'm used to being alone; my feeling is that technology has reduced our need to interact face to face. You see it everywhere- people are together but staring at their phones. No one is making eye contact. The internet has people seeking attention and fame and not seeking real connections. Then, over the past 8 years, political divides have isolated us even further. My best friend and I have a rule: we stay clear of politics and religion since our views don't align. I wish there was more tolerance for differences. I'm liberal, she's conservative and our friendship has survived through my 2 divorces and her 40+ year marriage. What we have is rare. When I retired from teaching Montessori in 2017, I never thought my friends would ghost me. We kept in touch but eventually they forgot to reach out. I was the one who always tried to get together but it became harder and harder to make it work (and I realized the age difference was a factor.) I think people tell you who they are. If they wanted me in their life, they would make the effort. As an introvert, it's not easy making new friends, especially at my age. It's the culture too. I grew up in Europe and making friends wasn't so hard. I'm still friends with many of those I met; there's the distance between us that makes me appreciate the internet. I miss feeling connected so now I am taking classes with other seniors but even those people all have their cliques. You're young; it shouldn't be so hard... I'll be your friend even though I'm old enough to be your mom. I've been told to join clubs, go to church, get a hobby, etc. Not sure that's good advice but I'm okay being alone. I really don't have a choice. Your content is valuable; it's thoughtful, sophisticated, and artistic. I love it. ❤
Thank you for sharing this, so much insight and knowledge, as someone mentioned there is a cultural aspect, and as you said, people nowadays have almost zero tolerance for differences. Also I feel more people are seeing other humans as “opportunities” versus friendships. Someone I know literally said “ I know all these people that I am not using!” Left me speechless. Thank you for sharing some gold nuggets of wisdom, and I love having friends of any age ❤️🤗🥰
Well said! I have to agree with everything you said here! Quality is so much better than quantity! And most people don’t want to take the time to cultivate true friendships! ❤
I definitely feel I am putting up with less drama and those who simply waste my time and energy on frivolous things! Is it part of growing up or simply growing perhaps …
That comment sounds so true to me! I have been going through a spiritual journey since 2008. I am having a hard time finding time for in-person friendships.
As the poem by Brian A. 'Drew' Chalker said: ''friends come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime''. Ain't that the truth? Wonderful to see you back on YT Annalisa xx
Hi Annalisa, you always inspire me to grab my red lipstick! About this subject matter, you are so right! This is something I have thought about many times. I don't know if it's a cultural thing, or social media (or maybe a little of both). I spend a lot of my time each year in Costa Rica where I have many friends that can pick up right where we left off, as you say. Here, it feels more social media-based, and not a lot of in-person contact. Everyone seems so busy with their own lives. It can happen with family, too. Thank you for putting this very timely topic into words.
Yes to red lipstick!!! 💄 I agree that here contact with other people is more through electronics and social media. It saddens me. As human beings we need connection, plus it is so beautiful to share a chat and a laugh or a tear with a friend over coffee! ❤️☕️🥰
So agree with you. I’m Italian-American. Grew up in a strong Italian culture. It is part of our DNA to have friends that are genuinely there for each other. You explained this so well. Social media, time, money, etc have something aspects to do with this change.
Hi Annalisa! This topic really resonates with me. I've been reflecting on my friendships lately. I've come to realize that it's okay if some friends drift in and out of our lives. Each one serves a purpose, whether it's to teach us valuable lessons or to simply share moments with. I've learned something from all of them, whether the experience was positive or negative, and I've come to accept that. For me, the most crucial thing is to remain authentic to myself and others, to keep an open mind, and allow people to play their roles in our lives. I believe in being grateful for every individual who crosses our path. While I may have once believed in everlasting connections, I've learned to appreciate the transient nature of relationships. Call me a hopeless romantic, but that's just how I prefer to approach things.
Dinara this approach is gold, it shows a high level of maturity, I agree on being grateful and taking the lesson each relationship brings to us. Thank you so much for sharing a beautiful observation ❤️❤️❤️
I have a small circle of friends and prefer it that way, as I’m an introvert at heart and prefer to spend my time with people who I truly care about out and feel comfortable with. No time for fake friendships and drama. Life is too short. And as someone who has moved around a bit, I do find it harder as we get older to make real friendships. Small talk at large social gatherings are not my thing so I’ve been putting more effort into staying in touch with and visiting my long distance friends in the meantime. Best wishes in CA and glad to see you back here. If we were closer I would love to hang out and chat about this over coffee. ❤
I absolutely stay away from small talks, I find them brain numbing. I also run from drama, I don’t have the time and energy, many times drama can be solved by being direct and straightforward. 99% of the drama is something people create. And I would love to sit for coffee!!!
You raised a very complicated topic.❤❤❤ I am 60 years old just for the reference. I had many friends and acquaintance over these years. I have made decisions to end the friendships and I was also cancelled as a friend. People do what they need to do and we have to respect that. When I ended friendships, I could no longer tolerate something. It was not another person’s fault it’s how they were but I have changed. Also our connection was not deep. In the case, when I was canceled as a friend, I found out much later it was something that another person needed , the space , the privacy, and it wasn’t about me either. But I do have friends that I had for 20 and 40 years and we are still solid. And on this note I want to say that one can always feel it, you can feel the connection you can feel the depth you don’t need to be on the phone every day you may not talk for years and then you call and be exactly where you used to be. That doesn’t mean that these long friendships will never end, they might, and it’s OK, we had them and they were good. People change circumstances change. I also absolutely do not mind casual relationships the coworkers , shop owners , social clubs. I think the key is that everybody understands that this is just being friendly. This is not a deep friendship to be called upon. So I guess my main point is that have to honor people’s choices as they choose what they need. It’s not personal. I swear once I realized that things between me and another person are not about me and it’s about what that other person needs, I was totally ok with it.
Whenever I see potential and I feel like I clicked with the individual, I do my best to preserve and enhance that relationship. As soon as I start seeing that I'm putting all the effort, I let it go. Effort as simple as I being the first one to start the conversation, "hi, how are you" like three times in a row... happy christmas/easter or whatever... I mean there's no excuse that you are busy. I'm busy and a message can be sent from everywhere and everything these days. So, it is no excuse ... that only shows that we aren't on the same page and you should be treated inferior, especially when you consider that when they meet you face to face, they become super chatty. Thank you for sharing, Annalisa!
I feel this!!! I absolutely cannot comprehend when people don’t respond to a message, I mean we all have a mobile device literally cuffed to our hands! I know you saw it!! Yes I agree if it is one sided at some point I rather save my energy and time for those who equally value it ❤️🥰
@@AnnalisaJand yes, I've broken up with friends when it became clear they weren't truly friends. No one is perfect and people make mistakes but it eventually becomes clear. Then I became better at choosing my few, close friends (but we never stop learning about ourselves and others) ❤
It's harder to find sincere friends nowadays. I went through a period in my mid to late 30s where most of the friendships I had from late teens/20s ended for various reasons and since then (now in mid 40s), it has been a lot harder. I think friendships have gotten harder to find and keep due to stages of life (marriage/kids, building career, etc) and the increasingly detached/virtual world we live in. Even so, I think there are people out there truly looking to be a friend and find a friend; those friends will likely be worth a thousand of the other so-called "friends". I always think of a character from a book from my childhood, Anne Shirley, from Anne of Green Gables and how she always wished to find a kindred spirit until she met Diana.
Great to see you, Annalisa!!! I’ve been checking to see you once a while. Friendship is such an intricate topic-you’re putting it well ❤ and in honest ways. I have a few friends-those who stay in the circle are truly a gem.
Hi! I was finally ready to upload! This is such a complex topic, I find it so fascinating… there are so many versions of ourselves based on different relationships. ❤️❤️🥰
Annalisa, I was so happy, when I checked and found you here again. Happy Easter! The subject of friendship can be a complicated one, if we let it. My perspective is that friendships develop over time and come in all shapes and sizes based on the people involved. They usually start because of common interests. From there some remain casual, a very few will become deep and everlasting lifetime relationships and most will be somewhere in between. The problems come, when we fail to distinguish one from the other and cannot appreciate them for what they are. Maintaining a really deep friendship requires a lot of patience on both parts, which require our time and understanding... Especially when there are changes in our personal lives that decrease our available free time. We have to be willing deal their changes and ocassional dramas AND they have to be willing to deal with ours. I guess the biggest thing for me is to enjoy the precess of letting friendship develop at their own rate, rather than trying to fabricate them. Again, I'm glad you're here!!!
I have missed you! As I've gotten older I have noticed it is harder to make meaningful relationships/friendships. I try to be the friend that I would like to have, keeping that in mind I'm very protective of myself. I have had to cut people off because they didn't respect the boundaries that I'd established and discussed with them over and over. I don't have the time nor the energy to discuss with adults the disrespect that got you cut off. You know what you did and it's as simple as that. I'd much rather be alone than have fake friends, users and abusers that see me as a means to make their lives easier. At some point you've got to set/stay with your boundaries. You have to love yourself more. Here's to finding non fake friends, cheers! I know you are out there!
It is so nice to see a video from you again! When I grew up, I had friends all through school, but we did not choose each other, we just came from the same small village (in Germany). Those friendships did not last after I went to university in the city. While I made new friends, those friendships did not last when I moved to the U.S.. Some ended right away, some ended after keeping contact for a few years. Since living here, most friendships I made ended when we no longer had common ground - them starting families, having careers in fields that introduced them into new circles, having very different opinions. The older I get, the harder it seems to be to make friends. Maybe it is easier for people who never leave the place they grew up in. Maybe it is easier in rural areas, because people rely on each other more. I don't know. it is kind of sad.
Annalisa, you have been missed! I don't have friends and at 61 it is hard to make friends. I have acquaintances and a few colleagues. I miss having a friend to do things with like dining, shopping, and just hanging out. Things are different today with both the friendship and family dynamics. I think the internet and social media have played a negative role in relationships where investing time with people has been replaced with short infrequent texting.
It is definitely harder, I never thought I would say this, but I miss a sense of community! Who remembers when we could go to the neighbors and borrow a cup of sugar!!🥹✨❤️
I find as I'm getting older it is more difficult to make and keep friends. Some is as you say: tired of everyone's drama. We aren't teenagers anymore so I feel let's put that aside its tiring. Friendship is a 2 way street and I can see pretty quickly anymore if I am there to be a mutual friend or a therapist without anything given in return. It takes time and effort from both people. I think sometimes this is part of the great dissatisfaction one sees in the world today, the great loneliness that exists....we are not meant to travel through life alone and there is an ache for connection, to be known. Yet, no one makes time and love is spelled t.i.m.e. It's much to easy to stay in touch electronically. This I understand if theres distance but do not understand when its blocks. I also have friends maintained from childhood from the country I grew up in, but have definitely noticed it is a more disposable society even in friendship here in this country. Its very sad really. However, I am at an age where I no longer allow myself to be used for someone's empty space but seek genuine people, younger, my own age, older as we can all learn from each other and laughter and caring has no age discrimination.
@@AnnalisaJ, it is the sense of community yes...being known I call it that is so missing. Its rare to have a neighbor you even see, let alone the comfort of asking to borrow a cup of sugar. It's all rather sad. I think a lot is cultural. I have found as I get older a deep yearning to return to the country I came from, the roots of extended family, the shared life past and present.
Hey Annalisa, I missed seeing your vlogs. I am nearly 60 years old and I have had 3 truly wonderful friends in my life. 2 are no longer with us and 1 lives in Temecula and we have lost touch. I recently became friends with a neighbour, there were warning signs that I overlooked because at that moment I truly needed a friend. It was not a healthy friendship. She wanted me to clean out her kitchen cupboards, water her garden. Critiqued my clothes, made remarks about my friend. Gossiped about me and remarked that her husband and I would run away with each other!! I was so astounded and hurt that to this day makes me so sad. When you said beware of people that have lots of friends, it describes her perfectly. When I started joining clubs for my health she started to behave even nastier. My warning signs were that she talks poorly about her family and friends and maybe she does the same with me. Lesson learned. The absolute best advice is drop them, no shouting, calling them out on their behaviour, I gave her silence. My therapist called it letting her sit in it (what she created). I hope this helps someone, I lost Denise and Sharon but this way I know friendship can be truly beautiful, they were true friends to me and my family and vice versa. Don't give up hope. ❤️ Thank you so much for sharing this post😘
This is so powerful! I agree on just letting them go on their merry way with whatever delusion they believe in, we can’t change people, but we can certainly protect ourselves ❤️❤️❤️
After 30 years, I went back to my relationship with my university friends. Now friends are back together as a group of 8 people. Love your TH-cam channel ❤ give me energy
depends how close you are... there's a difference between acquaintance and close friend... since i moved and started online dating i feel like what I'm seeing is an overall desire for real human connection that people are trying to fill with dating and physical contact. it's very interesting.
So happy to see you back on YT. This topic is so near to my heart. I agree with you 100 % and I feel very sad that my handful of friends are just drifting away. I am always the one to reach out, make the call, pop in etc. I am in my 60s and realise that we are busy with grandkids etc but it's no excuse to not share a small window period with your friend/s. After all, we are there for the good times as well as the bad times. Ooh, I can write a book on this matter.
Thank you for sharing! I feel in general the world has become more disconnected, hopefully it will come full circle! Human connection is so important for our wellbeing. Keep reaching out! ❤️❤️❤️✨
I've missed you Annalisa! I'm so happy to see you! Last year I had two friends removed from my life, one of 12 years and one of 37 years. Both for different reasons. I prayed about it, and it was just time to let go, and I feel amazing with no stress.❤
I'm not good at making friends and even worse at maintaning them. This has become harder since having a family. I'm an introvert, I definitely have trust issues, and I have chronic pain, which makes me need to be very frugal with my energy and attention. I miss having close friends but I can't picture it ever happening again. I am too gaurded.
A very thoughtful and poetic video expressed with your melodious Italian accent. I would love to be friends with you! But I am a California girl who moved to Belgium 25 years ago. I don't find it easy to make friends in Europe either.
İn the past two years, I have lost all (5, to be precise) of my friends who I have been with for 15 years+. I was depressed for a long time (still a bit until now). Although I know clearly that they don't deserve my friendship anyway because of many of their rude and disrespectful behaviours in my eyes, I can't stop questioning myself and feeling hurt/betrayed. I feel like losing parts of me as parts of my younger memories are all gone with their move out of my life. I feel sorrow that no friends I have today know my earlier history and share that period of memory even if I truly appreciate my friendship of mutual respect with them... Meanwhile it is evident that today's whatever relation tends to be easier consumed, digested and discarded. I am happy I still have several pen pals. I enjoyed your videos. İt's the first time I left a message here😊!
Thank you for sharing something so real and raw. I believe many of us can relate to this in one way or another. I too have had friends coming into my life and leaving pain, or in a couple of occasions I had to be the one to walk away. I am now being more in the present, open to new friendships but still threading carefully ❤️ Thank you for your support and for your comment.
Dear Annalisa🥰, welcome back to TH-cam🎉! How have you been? We have missed you so much❤! Well, a real friendship is like a real love, something very rear and very-very precious! With age, it's getting more difficult to find it, difficult, but still possible 🌞🌟🥰... I remember the expression: Be your own friend first, and then the others will follow. 💃🏻❤🌸
Hi Annalisa, so glad you’re back! This is a topic I’ve been thinking about very recently, because my friendships even with my high school friends, have changed. Mostly due to work schedules and significant others. I feel that the American culture has pushed us to work so much, we literally do not have time for other people. Plus, social anxiety, (many types of anxiety) in general, have made people super self conscious, probably from social media. And it has become extremely hard for people to just simply be themselves in front of others. They compare their life to people and always have a wandering eye. You can only build good friendships if you like yourself, and are willing to listen to other. Which I’m sure your are!! I find most people are scared and just want to stay at home in fear of rejection. It’s a shame because friendships are very good for our health and immune system, self esteem as well. I’m an older gen Z, and I hope to see some of this change in future! 🤍
So many very valid points! It is crazy that so many people I know are so consumed on looking or appearing a certain way and impress strangers they have never met versus putting that energy toward people we know, like friends!
This topic is both exciting and complex to ponder. Meeting up with a college friend today I hadn't seen in over three years still left me feeling pleasantly at ease. The question of how many best friends one has arose, with her answering 'Only 1' and me '2,' emphasizing our focus on meaningful connections over unnecessary interactions, including with fake friends. Our catch-up wasn't just about laughter; it was a reminder of the bond that time can't break. True connection transcends distance. Your channel popped up when I was poking around for a Moka Pot, and your positive, chill energy totally hooked me in. Have a great weekend!
Thank you so much for sharing this. I have a few friends which I consider lifetime friendships, like you said there is a strong healthy bond, even if we see each other seldomly because we live in different continents, there is such a powerful connection. My door will always be open for them and viceversa. ❤️❤️
When I saw your title 'Are Authentic Friendships A Thing Of The Past?' several thoughts ran through my mind: I hope not! Good question! And then NO! No, they aren't a thing of the past because there ARE people of heart in the world. I want to believe that, therefore, I do believe it. You are one of these people, Annalisa. I think the truer we are to ourselves and the kinder we are to ourselves, we are more open to the authentic energy that can manifest the same. But I know what you mean, girl! It can feel pretty bleak out there!! 🎪🎡🎢 🎯🎶💃👩❤️👩🫶💞
So so true! I love sharing love and laughter with me dear old friends and continue to be open to new soulful friends to share more ideas, deep feelings and create more memories
First of all, I have to say that I was so excited to see that you posted a new video! Your videos are exquisite, and I always enjoy them. I have a handful of friends and our friendships have been cultivated over the years. Most of them live far away and we connect over the phone and get together when we can. I would have to say because of this, I feel a bit lonely. I am open to meeting people and developing new friendships. But I’m not one to hang out in a big group, I prefer a smaller group of friends and enjoy meaningful conversations and interactions. Life is too short for fake friendships. A true friendship is like gold! Someone to cherish. Thank you Annalisa for sharing your thoughts on this subject, I truly enjoyed this video ❤
It’s so good to reconnect with everyone! I am like you, I love small quality circles versus large groups. I have to say from all the places I lived in the world California is the one where I have had a really hard time making deep connections… so much materialism, opportunism and drama… ❤️❤️❤️
@@AnnalisaJ Yes! I was born and raised here, but my family came overseas from Greece and my Mom was from the Midwest. Most People here in California are very superficial. My closest friends are not native Californians. ❤️🫶🏼❤️🫶🏼
I’m glad you’re back and understand how you feel. We relocated twice before FB & texting which made it difficult to sustain the old friendships and took a lot of time to make new ones. You are wiser and more discerning now. A “true” friend is very hard to find. If you have one in a lifetime then you are blessed. Jesus is my forever friend.
I really feel this Annalisa. I think in America this is more true than other countries like Italy. I notice it w/ family units in the US vs other countries. In other countries families are closer and younger generations and older generations commingle and take care of each other which is not part of the culture as much here in the US, sadly. It’s all very frustrating. I have a small group of friends thankfully and we support each other through thick and thin. I unfortunately also have had friendships end because of exactly what you describe…people being fake and opportunistic. I am trying to foster community more as I really feel people need each other. We need to help each other out and do good things for each other and support each other. I think social media really has turned people more insular and isolated vs coming together and I see that reflected in how life is today. It makes me very sad. I guess all I can control though is how I go about things. I’m trying to be more involved in my community and I know I am a good friend to my friends and they are to me as well. I don’t want to fall into a life where I am completely isolated and shut myself off because then I become part of the problem. Despite the difficulty, I’m going to keep trying to bring people together.
I feel this comment deeply! I also think is so true that we are more (superficially) connected and the most lonely we have ever been all at the same time!
Fake friends have no slot in my life anymore. Why would I allow toxic mess in my life? I, too, love solitude and have a lot of hobbies and interests. My walls are high. I don't have time for b.s. There are so many better ways to spend my time.
Ciao annalisa, I think as life and major events occur my perspective on friendships has changed. After losing my mom, people showed up for me that I never expected while others stayed on the sidelines when I thought we were closer. Lesson: Comparing friendships is a joy killer. I believe there is nothing wrong with having different kinds of friendships because we all have different strengths and weaknesses and our version of showing up for our friends may not necessarily be the same. My selection of people in my life is based mainly on shared values and not necesarrily shared opinions or interests even. I feel that a true friend to me is someone I can learn from, not feel judged by, brings me more joy than sorrow, and someone I want to make feel that way as well. I can ramble about this topic for hours hahaha. Glad to see you back again old friend 👋🌊
I can relate to this so much! Likewise when I lost my mom some people I thought would reach out didn’t and some I hadn’t spoken to in years, like my middle school art teacher, reached out in the kindest and most unexpected way! Thank you for this reminder ❤️❤️❤️🤗
Ciao, Annalisa How nice to see you again!❤️ And how beautiful the topic you chose for this video! I can tell you that in my life I have had both friends who ran away as soon as a problem arose, and friends who when I achieved success, instead of rejoicing with me, felt bad, and than I pushed them away. False friendships have existed in every era, perhaps we are currently living in a particular period, and everything is amplified. As regards geographical differences, I am sure that they exist, even in the same nation; we in Sardinia have a sense of friendship that is decidedly different from the people of northern Italy. I can't say which is better and which is worse, but it's definitely different. However, I am always of the opinion that it is Meglio sola che male accompagnata😉 A presto. Un abbraccio 😘😘😘
Yessss!!! I love it “meglio sola che mal accompagnata!” 100% i had friends who low-key put me down under the disguise of “caring” when I had any sort of success… huge warning sign!
Such a thoughtful and poetic video expressed with your melodious Italian accent. I can hear the Italian sunshine in your voice. I appreciate your authenticity. I would love to be friends with you, but I am a California girl who moved to Belgium 25 years ago. I don't find it easy to find true friends in Europe either.
Thank you so much! I completely understand the challenges of making a friend as a California girl in Europe! I definitely think it’s a global change in how we build friendships! ❤️❤️❤️
Morning from New England ! Found that same superficial atmosphere living in AZ and Fl in years past was the same. Everyone on the go , moving , and spending. We moved back to Westerly ,RI( btw very Italian) and rediscovered more grounded people. Church , family, and food is more important here than superficial stuff that will pass away. Have you thought about returning to Italy? Easter Blessings!
Unfortunately, at the age of 56, I have cut some friends out of my life ( completely). Every time that i did it, I would be almost sick , but time proved me right ( not that is any consolation). Life is short. You and everybody else deserve to have a true and good friend. Even one - it counts!
I completely agree, is a case of quality is better than quantity! I know all too well how hard is to cut people off, but the reward is peace and serenity for me! ✨❤️
Hey Annalisa. It s a great topic. True friendship and true love can be as rare as they are precious. I try to keep my head up and my heart open, reminding myself to take the good and leave the bad, and not take anything personaly. Btw you are always such a cuttie but that hair when you type at your computer is just drop dead gorgeous!!!!! :-)
Hi annalisa , nice hear from you Yes, we are living in a superficial world today , everything change , I think have to do with the internet , people be Come so cruel and disrespectful using and discard a human being like objects ! Better put U energy in U Self and don't waste U time !🤔🙌😇🕯🌎🙏
Ciao Annalisa. So great to you! Friendship is so special. Since moving to Czech I struggle to make friends. During and after COVID even more so. Yes, I certainly have 'compartment' friends, whereas at home I had friends that fit into all compartment compartments. Take care Annalisa ❤
You are not alone in these feelings. Life is filed with wonderous variety. So thus, life will supply us with people that need to be in our lives, for whatever reason, and also, leave when our time together is over. With the introduction of communication technology, that is so convenient now, we, as humans, have become less genuinely connected with our fellow human. Connections seem more superficial. I believe that turning within is a vital step in our souls growth. Being true to ourselves. Honoring our feelings, letting go of what no long serves us. Sometimes it's very challenging at both ends of the spectrum; letting someone in and letting someone go. Something that has helped me is to turn to my heart. What is my heart telling me, NOT my ego brain, which is quite rational. It doesn't mean that the road will be smooth, it just means it will be true. Honor each relationship for what it brings to your life. Be grateful for it and its "lessons". Crazy sounding, I know, because there can be a lot of pain and emotions involved. But, it really works. Honor and love yourself wherever you are on your journey. We all deserve love - especially from ourselves. We are NOT broken we are just rediscovering our true selves!
When I was in my 20’s and 30’s I thought I had great friends, but when I got a divorce, not one of those “friends” stood by me. Then the friends of my 40’s and 50’s were more friendships that were formed from work. When my son died, those “friends” seemed to move away from me. Not too many can see that kind of suffering. Now my world is much smaller. I don’t think I trust friendships anymore. I think I’m ok with that.
Thank you for sharing something so personal, I am sorry to hear this, I am deeply sorry for your loss. I am always so shocked when “friends” distance themselves when things get uncomfortable for them. I do however enjoy very small circles, I have also learned that I found friends in people I would have never thought of! It’s easy to put up walls, and also a natural defense.
It’s subjective, having children and having met their friends, they get married and have children you make more friends. Generally single people are more vulnerable. My advice is be happy single and do what YOU want to do. All my best friends are on TH-cam, like you.
This subject was so beautifully expressed. One that I think of often. I once asked a friend who'd moved here to Southern California from Florida, what are some of the differences. The first thing he said was "Here, you're not really sure who your friends are. In Florida, you know who they are." So there may be something to the thought of geograghical mind-sets . I lived in Florida for 3+ yrs and found that when people asked you how you were, they really wanted to know! I felt there was something to be said about Southern Hospitality being alive and well at the time. Yet, today in the world, it's different. Social media and cell phones are a huge culprit. Many don't seem to want to listen or share thoughts, experiences, perspectives if they don't agree. I find that outlook too confining to deal with! As I seem to draw people towards me that want to be friends, I've reached an interesting conclusion. I have always observed that 'a friend to all is a friend to none' and don't get involved with that whole scenario. I also count on my intuition and gut who to become involved with. Is this foolproof? No! But it's a valuable sifter, so to speak. I do value the memories I have of everyone I've known through work or in passing or whichever channels may have been instrumental in our paths crossing. After all, this is my life! I think, Annalisa, that there's a purpose for all of this. And that some are meant to be lifelong, or intense, or temporary or whatever the case may be. It's just up to us to realize our own worth and while sharing the wealth that we are, being wise enough to actually SEE how the other person is. Not how we'd like them to be. I, and still do, admit to becoming disappointed and let down when I realize that the other 'friend' isn't as sincere and truly wishing me well and being the sincere loyal friend I know I am. So I think of 'don't cast your pearls before swine' and move on. Lately I've felt a lack of female friendship and miss it terribly. Yet, I try to stay open and it is true. Solitude is seductive. I prefer it most of the time. But I do reach a point where I'm ready for Girls just wanna have fun! When we marry or have a significant other it usually takes up our time along with daily existence. I still think it's important to have meaningful female interaction and friendship s. I wake up with a "I love life and life loves me" attitude. Yet honestly i look around and see so much division amonst women and it makes me sad. I've known some very impressive women that made a huge impact on me. Are they still around? Yes. In my heart. In my life's expression. They are a part of me. And maybe that's the type of friendship there is for me. As usual, Annalisa, you are thought-provoking and get me going! I think of you often and even though I miss your more frequent vids, I always smile and am happy you are busy living your life. Isn't that what we're here for?!! I now know that people are better for knowing me. And now I ask would they do the same for me. This isn't tit for tat. It's valuing my time. The people that are keeping things real and are sincere will show up. Period. I see you putting a lot of sincerity and love out there. You're just weeding your garden so there's room for fragrant, beautiful blooms that will last you a lifetime even if only in your memory, in your heart. You are a glowing, beautiful, vibrant soul! Just being who you are is a blessing to our world❤🙏💝🌟🎯
Beautifully expressed and I enjoyed reading your writing, like a book. So many spot on observations. I thank you deeply for sharing something so viable and beautiful at the same time!❤️❤️
@@AnnalisaJ❤️🫂😘
Well, well, well...good to see you again. What a topic!
Here are my thoughts:
I'm 71 and have only one good/best friend. We've been friends since high school but we live in different cities. She moved away 12 years ago.
Since the pandemic, I'm used to being alone; my feeling is that technology has reduced our need to interact face to face. You see it everywhere- people are together but staring at their phones. No one is making eye contact. The internet has people seeking attention and fame and not seeking real connections.
Then, over the past 8 years, political divides have isolated us even further. My best friend and I have a rule: we stay clear of politics and religion since our views don't align. I wish there was more tolerance for differences. I'm liberal, she's conservative and our friendship has survived through my 2 divorces and her 40+ year marriage. What we have is rare.
When I retired from teaching Montessori in 2017, I never thought my friends would ghost me. We kept in touch but eventually they forgot to reach out. I was the one who always tried to get together but it became harder and harder to make it work (and I realized the age difference was a factor.)
I think people tell you who they are. If they wanted me in their life, they would make the effort.
As an introvert, it's not easy making new friends, especially at my age.
It's the culture too. I grew up in Europe and making friends wasn't so hard. I'm still friends with many of those I met; there's the distance between us that makes me appreciate the internet. I miss feeling connected so now I am taking classes with other seniors but even those people all have their cliques.
You're young; it shouldn't be so hard...
I'll be your friend even though I'm old enough to be your mom.
I've been told to join clubs, go to church, get a hobby, etc. Not sure that's good advice but I'm okay being alone. I really don't have a choice.
Your content is valuable; it's thoughtful, sophisticated, and artistic. I love it. ❤
Thank you for sharing this, so much insight and knowledge, as someone mentioned there is a cultural aspect, and as you said, people nowadays have almost zero tolerance for differences. Also I feel more people are seeing other humans as “opportunities” versus friendships. Someone I know literally said “ I know all these people that I am not using!” Left me speechless.
Thank you for sharing some gold nuggets of wisdom, and I love having friends of any age ❤️🤗🥰
Well said! I have to agree with everything you said here! Quality is so much better than quantity! And most people don’t want to take the time to cultivate true friendships! ❤
I think a part of what's happening to you is a natural part of spiritual development. Your standards went up, closer to unconditional love.
I definitely feel I am putting up with less drama and those who simply waste my time and energy on frivolous things! Is it part of growing up or simply growing perhaps …
That comment sounds so true to me! I have been going through a spiritual journey since 2008. I am having a hard time finding time for in-person friendships.
As the poem by Brian A. 'Drew' Chalker said: ''friends come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime''. Ain't that the truth? Wonderful to see you back on YT Annalisa xx
It is very very true!! … and it feels so good to be back 🤗
Hi Annalisa, you always inspire me to grab my red lipstick! About this subject matter, you are so right! This is something I have thought about many times. I don't know if it's a cultural thing, or social media (or maybe a little of both). I spend a lot of my time each year in Costa Rica where I have many friends that can pick up right where we left off, as you say. Here, it feels more social media-based, and not a lot of in-person contact. Everyone seems so busy with their own lives. It can happen with family, too. Thank you for putting this very timely topic into words.
Yes to red lipstick!!! 💄
I agree that here contact with other people is more through electronics and social media. It saddens me. As human beings we need connection, plus it is so beautiful to share a chat and a laugh or a tear with a friend over coffee! ❤️☕️🥰
So agree with you. I’m Italian-American. Grew up in a strong Italian culture. It is part of our DNA to have friends that are genuinely there for each other. You explained this so well. Social media, time, money, etc have something aspects to do with this change.
I definitely feel social media contributed to a skewed perception of what friendship is, lol! ❤️
I’m so happy to see you ….like an old friend resurfacing ❤
🤗🥰 I am happy to be back! It is like reconnecting with old friends 🥰
Hi Annalisa! This topic really resonates with me.
I've been reflecting on my friendships lately. I've come to realize that it's okay if some friends drift in and out of our lives. Each one serves a purpose, whether it's to teach us valuable lessons or to simply share moments with. I've learned something from all of them, whether the experience was positive or negative, and I've come to accept that.
For me, the most crucial thing is to remain authentic to myself and others, to keep an open mind, and allow people to play their roles in our lives. I believe in being grateful for every individual who crosses our path. While I may have once believed in everlasting connections, I've learned to appreciate the transient nature of relationships. Call me a hopeless romantic, but that's just how I prefer to approach things.
Dinara this approach is gold, it shows a high level of maturity, I agree on being grateful and taking the lesson each relationship brings to us.
Thank you so much for sharing a beautiful observation ❤️❤️❤️
I have a small circle of friends and prefer it that way, as I’m an introvert at heart and prefer to spend my time with people who I truly care about out and feel comfortable with. No time for fake friendships and drama. Life is too short. And as someone who has moved around a bit, I do find it harder as we get older to make real friendships. Small talk at large social gatherings are not my thing so I’ve been putting more effort into staying in touch with and visiting my long distance friends in the meantime. Best wishes in CA and glad to see you back here. If we were closer I would love to hang out and chat about this over coffee. ❤
I absolutely stay away from small talks, I find them brain numbing.
I also run from drama, I don’t have the time and energy, many times drama can be solved by being direct and straightforward. 99% of the drama is something people create.
And I would love to sit for coffee!!!
You raised a very complicated topic.❤❤❤
I am 60 years old just for the reference. I had many friends and acquaintance over these years.
I have made decisions to end the friendships and I was also cancelled as a friend.
People do what they need to do and we have to respect that.
When I ended friendships, I could no longer tolerate something.
It was not another person’s fault it’s how they were but I have changed. Also our connection was not deep.
In the case, when I was canceled as a friend, I found out much later it was something that another person needed , the space , the privacy, and it wasn’t about me either.
But I do have friends that I had for 20 and 40 years and we are still solid. And on this note I want to say that one can always feel it, you can feel the connection you can feel the depth you don’t need to be on the phone every day you may not talk for years and then you call and be exactly where you used to be.
That doesn’t mean that these long friendships will never end, they might, and it’s OK, we had them and they were good.
People change circumstances change.
I also absolutely do not mind casual relationships the coworkers , shop owners , social clubs. I think the key is that everybody understands that this is just being friendly. This is not a deep friendship to be called upon.
So I guess my main point is that have to honor people’s choices as they choose what they need. It’s not personal.
I swear once I realized that things between me and another person are not about me and it’s about what that other person needs, I was totally ok with it.
This was so insightful! I agree is a very complicated topic with so many nuances. Thank you for sharing. 🥰
I am excited to hear your thoughts on this complex topic ❤ oh and I am having a Phoebe moment at the end 😂
Whenever I see potential and I feel like I clicked with the individual, I do my best to preserve and enhance that relationship. As soon as I start seeing that I'm putting all the effort, I let it go.
Effort as simple as I being the first one to start the conversation, "hi, how are you" like three times in a row... happy christmas/easter or whatever...
I mean there's no excuse that you are busy. I'm busy and a message can be sent from everywhere and everything these days.
So, it is no excuse ... that only shows that we aren't on the same page and you should be treated inferior, especially when you consider that when they meet you face to face, they become super chatty.
Thank you for sharing, Annalisa!
I feel this!!!
I absolutely cannot comprehend when people don’t respond to a message, I mean we all have a mobile device literally cuffed to our hands! I know you saw it!!
Yes I agree if it is one sided at some point I rather save my energy and time for those who equally value it ❤️🥰
@@AnnalisaJ keep up the good content - quality, topics, art, intelligence and humility!
I do the same!
A very wise saying, the Italian words you spoke. 'So good to see you again.
It’s a favorite saying of mine, I guess the better translation is “a friend to all is a friend to none” ❤️
@@AnnalisaJand yes, I've broken up with friends when it became clear they weren't truly friends. No one is perfect and people make mistakes but it eventually becomes clear. Then I became better at choosing my few, close friends (but we never stop learning about ourselves and others) ❤
It's harder to find sincere friends nowadays. I went through a period in my mid to late 30s where most of the friendships I had from late teens/20s ended for various reasons and since then (now in mid 40s), it has been a lot harder.
I think friendships have gotten harder to find and keep due to stages of life (marriage/kids, building career, etc) and the increasingly detached/virtual world we live in. Even so, I think there are people out there truly looking to be a friend and find a friend; those friends will likely be worth a thousand of the other so-called "friends". I always think of a character from a book from my childhood, Anne Shirley, from Anne of Green Gables and how she always wished to find a kindred spirit until she met Diana.
Great to see you, Annalisa!!! I’ve been checking to see you once a while. Friendship is such an intricate topic-you’re putting it well ❤ and in honest ways. I have a few friends-those who stay in the circle are truly a gem.
Hi! I was finally ready to upload!
This is such a complex topic, I find it so fascinating… there are so many versions of ourselves based on different relationships.
❤️❤️🥰
This subject hits home hard. I'm 52 and I've been wondering a lot about this subject lately.
I think it is more palpable lately too ❤️❤️
Annalisa, I was so happy, when I checked and found you here again. Happy Easter! The subject of friendship can be a complicated one, if we let it. My perspective is that friendships develop over time and come in all shapes and sizes based on the people involved. They usually start because of common interests. From there some remain casual, a very few will become deep and everlasting lifetime relationships and most will be somewhere in between. The problems come, when we fail to distinguish one from the other and cannot appreciate them for what they are. Maintaining a really deep friendship requires a lot of patience on both parts, which require our time and understanding... Especially when there are changes in our personal lives that decrease our available free time. We have to be willing deal their changes and ocassional dramas AND they have to be willing to deal with ours. I guess the biggest thing for me is to enjoy the precess of letting friendship develop at their own rate, rather than trying to fabricate them. Again, I'm glad you're here!!!
This is so well said! Sometimes I forget to be patient… thank you for sharing this 🙏🏻❤️
I have missed you!
As I've gotten older I have noticed it is harder to make meaningful relationships/friendships. I try to be the friend that I would like to have, keeping that in mind I'm very protective of myself.
I have had to cut people off because they didn't respect the boundaries that I'd established and discussed with them over and over. I don't have the time nor the energy to discuss with adults the disrespect that got you cut off. You know what you did and it's as simple as that. I'd much rather be alone than have fake friends, users and abusers that see me as a means to make their lives easier.
At some point you've got to set/stay with your boundaries. You have to love yourself more.
Here's to finding non fake friends, cheers! I know you are out there!
Yes! Cheers to finding TRUE friendships 🥂❤️
(I have met my share of parasitic “friends” and it’s exhausting!
It is so nice to see a video from you again!
When I grew up, I had friends all through school, but we did not choose each other, we just came from the same small village (in Germany). Those friendships did not last after I went to university in the city. While I made new friends, those friendships did not last when I moved to the U.S.. Some ended right away, some ended after keeping contact for a few years. Since living here, most friendships I made ended when we no longer had common ground - them starting families, having careers in fields that introduced them into new circles, having very different opinions. The older I get, the harder it seems to be to make friends. Maybe it is easier for people who never leave the place they grew up in. Maybe it is easier in rural areas, because people rely on each other more. I don't know. it is kind of sad.
I can see myself a lot in this comment! I miss the sense of community you speak of at the end of your comment.
Annalisa, you have been missed! I don't have friends and at 61 it is hard to make friends. I have acquaintances and a few colleagues. I miss having a friend to do things with like dining, shopping, and just hanging out. Things are different today with both the friendship and family dynamics. I think the internet and social media have played a negative role in relationships where investing time with people has been replaced with short infrequent texting.
It is definitely harder, I never thought I would say this, but I miss a sense of community! Who remembers when we could go to the neighbors and borrow a cup of sugar!!🥹✨❤️
I find as I'm getting older it is more difficult to make and keep friends. Some is as you say: tired of everyone's drama. We aren't teenagers anymore so I feel let's put that aside its tiring.
Friendship is a 2 way street and I can see pretty quickly anymore if I am there to be a mutual friend or a therapist without anything given in return. It takes time and effort from both people. I think sometimes this is part of the great dissatisfaction one sees in the world today, the great loneliness that exists....we are not meant to travel through life alone and there is an ache for connection, to be known. Yet, no one makes time and love is spelled t.i.m.e. It's much to easy to stay in touch electronically. This I understand if theres distance but do not understand when its blocks.
I also have friends maintained from childhood from the country I grew up in, but have definitely noticed it is a more disposable society even in friendship here in this country. Its very sad really. However, I am at an age where I no longer allow myself to be used for someone's empty space but seek genuine people, younger, my own age, older as we can all learn from each other and laughter and caring has no age discrimination.
@@AnnalisaJ, it is the sense of community yes...being known I call it that is so missing.
Its rare to have a neighbor you even see, let alone the comfort of asking to borrow a cup of sugar. It's all rather sad.
I think a lot is cultural.
I have found as I get older a deep yearning to return to the country I came from, the roots of extended family, the shared life past and present.
Hey Annalisa, I missed seeing your vlogs. I am nearly 60 years old and I have had 3 truly wonderful friends in my life. 2 are no longer with us and 1 lives in Temecula and we have lost touch. I recently became friends with a neighbour, there were warning signs that I overlooked because at that moment I truly needed a friend. It was not a healthy friendship. She wanted me to clean out her kitchen cupboards, water her garden. Critiqued my clothes, made remarks about my friend. Gossiped about me and remarked that her husband and I would run away with each other!!
I was so astounded and hurt that to this day makes me so sad. When you said beware of people that have lots of friends, it describes her perfectly. When I started joining clubs for my health she started to behave even nastier. My warning signs were that she talks poorly about her family and friends and maybe she does the same with me. Lesson learned. The absolute best advice is drop them, no shouting, calling them out on their behaviour, I gave her silence. My therapist called it letting her sit in it (what she created). I hope this helps someone, I lost Denise and Sharon but this way I know friendship can be truly beautiful, they were true friends to me and my family and vice versa. Don't give up hope. ❤️ Thank you so much for sharing this post😘
This is so powerful!
I agree on just letting them go on their merry way with whatever delusion they believe in, we can’t change people, but we can certainly protect ourselves ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for your understanding, luckily my daughter was very supportive❤️😘
After 30 years, I went back to my relationship with my university friends. Now friends are back together as a group of 8 people. Love your TH-cam channel ❤ give me energy
This is so good to read! There is hope ❤️🤗
depends how close you are... there's a difference between acquaintance and close friend... since i moved and started online dating i feel like what I'm seeing is an overall desire for real human connection that people are trying to fill with dating and physical contact. it's very interesting.
Oh this is a very interesting topic! I agree on the overall need for human connection, it’s palpable!
I think that friendship, for me, has changed as I've gotten older. Life is dynamic and so is friendship. Sometimes we have to hit pause. 😊
Jennifer, 🤗 yes 100%!!
So happy to see you back on YT.
This topic is so near to my heart. I agree with you 100 % and I feel very sad that my handful of friends are just drifting away. I am always the one to reach out, make the call, pop in etc. I am in my 60s and realise that we are busy with grandkids etc but it's no excuse to not share a small window period with your friend/s. After all, we are there for the good times as well as the bad times. Ooh, I can write a book on this matter.
Thank you for sharing! I feel in general the world has become more disconnected, hopefully it will come full circle! Human connection is so important for our wellbeing. Keep reaching out! ❤️❤️❤️✨
I've missed you Annalisa! I'm so happy to see you! Last year I had two friends removed from my life, one of 12 years and one of 37 years. Both for different reasons. I prayed about it, and it was just time to let go, and I feel amazing with no stress.❤
❤️❤️ oh I can relate to this so much! 🥰✨
I'm not good at making friends and even worse at maintaning them. This has become harder since having a family. I'm an introvert, I definitely have trust issues, and I have chronic pain, which makes me need to be very frugal with my energy and attention. I miss having close friends but I can't picture it ever happening again. I am too gaurded.
I can partial relate to the guarded comment, I am making an effort to, very carefully, let people in. But I completely hear you!🤗
A very thoughtful and poetic video expressed with your melodious Italian accent. I would love to be friends with you! But I am a California girl who moved to Belgium 25 years ago. I don't find it easy to make friends in Europe either.
İn the past two years, I have lost all (5, to be precise) of my friends who I have been with for 15 years+. I was depressed for a long time (still a bit until now). Although I know clearly that they don't deserve my friendship anyway because of many of their rude and disrespectful behaviours in my eyes, I can't stop questioning myself and feeling hurt/betrayed. I feel like losing parts of me as parts of my younger memories are all gone with their move out of my life. I feel sorrow that no friends I have today know my earlier history and share that period of memory even if I truly appreciate my friendship of mutual respect with them...
Meanwhile it is evident that today's whatever relation tends to be easier consumed, digested and discarded. I am happy I still have several pen pals.
I enjoyed your videos. İt's the first time I left a message here😊!
Thank you for sharing something so real and raw. I believe many of us can relate to this in one way or another.
I too have had friends coming into my life and leaving pain, or in a couple of occasions I had to be the one to walk away.
I am now being more in the present, open to new friendships but still threading carefully ❤️
Thank you for your support and for your comment.
Meant to say loved your Phoebe moment! That was adorable!!
😂😂 I almost removed it but then I thought… this is also me, I can be goofy!🤪❤️
Dear Annalisa🥰, welcome back to TH-cam🎉! How have you been? We have missed you so much❤!
Well, a real friendship is like a real love, something very rear and very-very precious! With age, it's getting more difficult to find it, difficult, but still possible 🌞🌟🥰...
I remember the expression: Be your own friend first, and then the others will follow. 💃🏻❤🌸
I love that expression!!! I fun it is very true too.
It’s great to be back ✨❤️
Hi Annalisa, so glad you’re back!
This is a topic I’ve been thinking about very recently, because my friendships even with my high school friends, have changed. Mostly due to work schedules and significant others. I feel that the American culture has pushed us to work so much, we literally do not have time for other people. Plus, social anxiety, (many types of anxiety) in general, have made people super self conscious, probably from social media. And it has become extremely hard for people to just simply be themselves in front of others. They compare their life to people and always have a wandering eye. You can only build good friendships if you like yourself, and are willing to listen to other. Which I’m sure your are!!
I find most people are scared and just want to stay at home in fear of rejection.
It’s a shame because friendships are very good for our health and immune system, self esteem as well. I’m an older gen Z, and I hope to see some of this change in future! 🤍
So many very valid points! It is crazy that so many people I know are so consumed on looking or appearing a certain way and impress strangers they have never met versus putting that energy toward people we know, like friends!
Yes that’s exactly it!
This topic is both exciting and complex to ponder. Meeting up with a college friend today I hadn't seen in over three years still left me feeling pleasantly at ease. The question of how many best friends one has arose, with her answering 'Only 1' and me '2,' emphasizing our focus on meaningful connections over unnecessary interactions, including with fake friends. Our catch-up wasn't just about laughter; it was a reminder of the bond that time can't break. True connection transcends distance. Your channel popped up when I was poking around for a Moka Pot, and your positive, chill energy totally hooked me in. Have a great weekend!
Thank you so much for sharing this. I have a few friends which I consider lifetime friendships, like you said there is a strong healthy bond, even if we see each other seldomly because we live in different continents, there is such a powerful connection. My door will always be open for them and viceversa. ❤️❤️
When I saw your title 'Are Authentic Friendships A Thing Of The Past?' several thoughts ran through my mind: I hope not! Good question! And then NO! No, they aren't a thing of the past because there ARE people of heart in the world. I want to believe that, therefore, I do believe it. You are one of these people, Annalisa. I think the truer we are to ourselves and the kinder we are to ourselves, we are more open to the authentic energy that can manifest the same. But I know what you mean, girl! It can feel pretty bleak out there!! 🎪🎡🎢 🎯🎶💃👩❤️👩🫶💞
I agree, and it’s nice to see this outlook. Sometimes I have to be reminded of it ❤️🥰
And as my Italian father would say "That's how we do"!! Always sending good thoughts you're way...🧡🥰🌞
So so true! I love sharing love and laughter with me dear old friends and continue to be open to new soulful friends to share more ideas, deep feelings and create more memories
Deep feelings 100%
First of all, I have to say that I was so excited to see that you posted a new video! Your videos are exquisite, and I always enjoy them. I have a handful of friends and our friendships have been cultivated over the years. Most of them live far away and we connect over the phone and get together when we can. I would have to say because of this, I feel a bit lonely. I am open to meeting people and developing new friendships. But I’m not one to hang out in a big group, I prefer a smaller group of friends and enjoy meaningful conversations and interactions. Life is too short for fake friendships. A true friendship is like gold! Someone to cherish. Thank you Annalisa for sharing your thoughts on this subject, I truly enjoyed this video ❤
It’s so good to reconnect with everyone!
I am like you, I love small quality circles versus large groups.
I have to say from all the places I lived in the world California is the one where I have had a really hard time making deep connections… so much materialism, opportunism and drama…
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@@AnnalisaJ Yes! I was born and raised here, but my family came overseas from Greece and my Mom was from the Midwest. Most People here in California are very superficial. My closest friends are not native Californians. ❤️🫶🏼❤️🫶🏼
I’m glad you’re back and understand how you feel.
We relocated twice before FB & texting which made it difficult to sustain the old
friendships and took a lot of time to make new ones.
You are wiser and more discerning now.
A “true” friend is very hard to find. If you have one in a lifetime then you are blessed.
Jesus is my forever friend.
Happy to see you igen❤
I really feel this Annalisa. I think in America this is more true than other countries like Italy. I notice it w/ family units in the US vs other countries. In other countries families are closer and younger generations and older generations commingle and take care of each other which is not part of the culture as much here in the US, sadly. It’s all very frustrating. I have a small group of friends thankfully and we support each other through thick and thin. I unfortunately also have had friendships end because of exactly what you describe…people being fake and opportunistic. I am trying to foster community more as I really feel people need each other. We need to help each other out and do good things for each other and support each other. I think social media really has turned people more insular and isolated vs coming together and I see that reflected in how life is today. It makes me very sad. I guess all I can control though is how I go about things. I’m trying to be more involved in my community and I know I am a good friend to my friends and they are to me as well. I don’t want to fall into a life where I am completely isolated and shut myself off because then I become part of the problem. Despite the difficulty, I’m going to keep trying to bring people together.
I feel this comment deeply! I also think is so true that we are more (superficially) connected and the most lonely we have ever been all at the same time!
Fake friends have no slot in my life anymore. Why would I allow toxic mess in my life? I, too, love solitude and have a lot of hobbies and interests. My walls are high. I don't have time for b.s. There are so many better ways to spend my time.
Ciao annalisa, I think as life and major events occur my perspective on friendships has changed. After losing my mom, people showed up for me that I never expected while others stayed on the sidelines when I thought we were closer. Lesson: Comparing friendships is a joy killer. I believe there is nothing wrong with having different kinds of friendships because we all have different strengths and weaknesses and our version of showing up for our friends may not necessarily be the same. My selection of people in my life is based mainly on shared values and not necesarrily shared opinions or interests even. I feel that a true friend to me is someone I can learn from, not feel judged by, brings me more joy than sorrow, and someone I want to make feel that way as well. I can ramble about this topic for hours hahaha.
Glad to see you back again old friend
👋🌊
I can relate to this so much! Likewise when I lost my mom some people I thought would reach out didn’t and some I hadn’t spoken to in years, like my middle school art teacher, reached out in the kindest and most unexpected way! Thank you for this reminder ❤️❤️❤️🤗
Ciao, Annalisa How nice to see you again!❤️
And how beautiful the topic you chose for this video! I can tell you that in my life I have had both friends who ran away as soon as a problem arose, and friends who when I achieved success, instead of rejoicing with me, felt bad, and than I pushed them away.
False friendships have existed in every era, perhaps we are currently living in a particular period, and everything is amplified.
As regards geographical differences, I am sure that they exist, even in the same nation; we in Sardinia have a sense of friendship that is decidedly different from the people of northern Italy. I can't say which is better and which is worse, but it's definitely different.
However, I am always of the opinion that it is
Meglio sola che male accompagnata😉
A presto. Un abbraccio
😘😘😘
Yessss!!! I love it “meglio sola che mal accompagnata!” 100% i had friends who low-key put me down under the disguise of “caring” when I had any sort of success… huge warning sign!
@@AnnalisaJ Friendship is a precious gift to be reserved for people who truly deserve it❤️🥰
Such a thoughtful and poetic video expressed with your melodious Italian accent. I can hear the Italian sunshine in your voice. I appreciate your authenticity.
I would love to be friends with you, but I am a California girl who moved to Belgium 25 years ago.
I don't find it easy to find true friends in Europe either.
Thank you so much!
I completely understand the challenges of making a friend as a California girl in Europe!
I definitely think it’s a global change in how we build friendships! ❤️❤️❤️
Morning from New England !
Found that same superficial atmosphere living in AZ and Fl in years past was the same. Everyone on the go , moving , and spending.
We moved back to Westerly ,RI( btw very Italian) and rediscovered more grounded people. Church , family, and food is more important here than superficial stuff that will pass away.
Have you thought about returning to Italy?
Easter Blessings!
Everyone is so busy… but are they really ? lol ❤️❤️❤️
Unfortunately, at the age of 56, I have cut some friends out of my life ( completely). Every time that i did it, I would be almost sick , but time proved me right ( not that is any consolation). Life is short. You and everybody else deserve to have a true and good friend. Even one - it counts!
I completely agree, is a case of quality is better than quantity! I know all too well how hard is to cut people off, but the reward is peace and serenity for me! ✨❤️
For some reason TH-cam hadn't sent me a notification for this. I have missed your videos so much! ❤❤❤❤❤
Welcome back! ❤️❤️❤️
I have missed you! Thank you for posting. No matter your topic, it is thoughtful and so beautifully made. I think you’re amazing. ❤
Thank you Barbara ❤️🤗
Hey Annalisa. It s a great topic. True friendship and true love can be as rare as they are precious. I try to keep my head up and my heart open, reminding myself to take the good and leave the bad, and not take anything personaly. Btw you are always such a cuttie but that hair when you type at your computer is just drop dead gorgeous!!!!! :-)
I agree that true friendship and love are very rare, I find one lucky to find one!!
Thank you so much! 🥹🤗
I have Missed you so much dear. Thanks for showing up. Please update at least one video once in a month.
Thank you so much! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Yay! Welcome back!
🤗❤️
Hi annalisa , nice hear from you
Yes, we are living in a superficial world today , everything change , I think have to do with the internet , people be Come so cruel and disrespectful using and discard a human being like objects ! Better put U energy in U Self and don't waste U time !🤔🙌😇🕯🌎🙏
I noticed people do discard one another like old milk!❤️❤️
So happy to see you again, just like a dear friend. Juliette (from Brussel) 😊😘
🤗🤗🥰 Juliette ❤️
Such a lovely surprise to see your video 💕🩷💕🩷
🥰🤗
Love your videos ❤❤ I wish you could post everyday Lol!😅
Oh Claudia, thank you so much! I would love to make videos everyday 🥰 I am definitely trying to upload more and more consistently ❤️
Welcome back dear Annalisa! I love this video! I think it's cultural! Grateful for your post!
I absolutely think there is a cultural aspect, also here people move a lot more often (although it is also happening more and more in Italy) ❤️🥰
Ciao Annalisa. So great to you!
Friendship is so special. Since moving to Czech I struggle to make friends. During and after COVID even more so. Yes, I certainly have 'compartment' friends, whereas at home I had friends that fit into all compartment compartments.
Take care Annalisa ❤
I can relate to this so much! ❤️❤️❤️ I feel is getting harder to forge friendships that are of value!
So nice to see you! ❤😊
🥰🤗
You are not alone in these feelings. Life is filed with wonderous variety. So thus, life will supply us with people that need to be in our lives, for whatever reason, and also, leave when our time together is over. With the introduction of communication technology, that is so convenient now, we, as humans, have become less genuinely connected with our fellow human. Connections seem more superficial. I believe that turning within is a vital step in our souls growth. Being true to ourselves. Honoring our feelings, letting go of what no long serves us. Sometimes it's very challenging at both ends of the spectrum; letting someone in and letting someone go. Something that has helped me is to turn to my heart. What is my heart telling me, NOT my ego brain, which is quite rational. It doesn't mean that the road will be smooth, it just means it will be true. Honor each relationship for what it brings to your life. Be grateful for it and its "lessons". Crazy sounding, I know, because there can be a lot of pain and emotions involved. But, it really works. Honor and love yourself wherever you are on your journey. We all deserve love - especially from ourselves. We are NOT broken we are just rediscovering our true selves!
Very well said! Through it all I gained a deeper understanding of myself and I am grateful for this. ❤️❤️❤️
Annalisa I've missed you❤
Me too!! Thank you 🙏🏻🤗
When I was in my 20’s and 30’s I thought I had great friends, but when I got a divorce, not one of those “friends” stood by me. Then the friends of my 40’s and 50’s were more friendships that were formed from work. When my son died, those “friends” seemed to move away from me. Not too many can see that kind of suffering. Now my world is much smaller. I don’t think I trust friendships anymore. I think I’m ok with that.
Thank you for sharing something so personal, I am sorry to hear this, I am deeply sorry for your loss.
I am always so shocked when “friends” distance themselves when things get uncomfortable for them. I do however enjoy very small circles, I have also learned that I found friends in people I would have never thought of! It’s easy to put up walls, and also a natural defense.
It’s subjective, having children and having met their friends, they get married and have children you make more friends. Generally single people are more vulnerable. My advice is be happy single and do what YOU want to do. All my best friends are on TH-cam, like you.
Thank you for sharing ✨
I think a lot of it is due to social media. People find it easier to fulfill their social needs on the computer. It's sad.
It is very sad! I think unknowingly we are all craving a sense of community. I know I am.✨🤗
Miss ur videos!
More on the way ❤️❤️
I find California really cold.
100%
Ciao Annalisa, I miss your thoughtful videos so much! Is there any chance of your return to TH-cam? Please!
Ciao! Thank you so much.
I am slowly … 😘❤️