Say to their face ," I'm not scared of you anymore". Watch their facial response freeze. Remember they are bullies , who deep down, are scared and fragile.
They are afraid of "the light" you carry. They only thrve in the darkness. Your light is like water on the wicked witch from Oz. "Im melting" LOL Shine on you children of God.
Narcissists fear your strong personality and that you are smarter then them so they try everything to oppress you so their position isn´t in danger. Narcissists are like flowers who think they must destroy the "trees" - sensitive people, to not feel as small and helpless as they are.
Its an advantage for us to a narc that we're dangerous to them! My motto: Like a good neighbor, stay over there! Thanks Jess for another great video! Blessings and have a beautiful safe day! ☀🙏🏽💪🏾😊🖤
On point! I bowed out awhile ago, he cheated & lied. Busted & disgusted can never be trusted. He knows I know everything even tho he denies it all. That would make me right and him wrong. It’s not that the truth hurts, it hurts that I know the truth! Thank you
Speaking loud and concise to them ( remember at one point the narc was saying I can't hear you , they hate it when you speak soft or weak in their minds ) confidence is like Kryptonite keeps them away!!!!
M. Skinner. You are absolutely right. That is why the Abuser (Narc) works relentlessly on destroying the Target's confidence /self-esteem, through active overted or converted toxic criticism, devaluation, smear, lies, they start slowly dropping the poison, to get the Target of Abuse destroyed from the inside out. The Abuser needs to destroy the confidence of the Target of Abuse. Only in that way can keep the Abuse going. The Abuser will pull all the tricks, to gaslight the target, to create cognitive dissonance, to make the target of abuse to doubt of the Reality, they create isolation and false reality to achieve their abuse. With the help of the Narcs Enablers the Abuser creates parallel reality, is disgusting. The Narc can not do it efficiently without their Flying Monkeys (enablers). The Abuser uses "positive reinforcement". The Abuser alternates "being good", "Being bad", the Abusers do that to keep the Target of Abuse attached to the Abuser. Confused and eternally waiting for those "good times". That creates the "Trauma Bond", that is why it becomes hard for Targets of Abuse to leave, the Target of Abuse is hurt and confused. In the brain is created a mix of biological cocktail that couses an addiction to the abuser, because of the intensity of the Abuser behaviour, intense chaos and confusion then the good times, is a cycle of abuse. Then the targets tryes to survive trying to please the Abuser by pleasing him/her. The key is self-steem, boundaries, boundaries reinforment and emotional regulation due to the consistent Abuser attacks. Abusers use people's emotions as a weapon. Is important that the Target of Abuse, Goes cold turkey No contact with the abuser, and all the flying Monkeys (any helper of the Abuser). Get the focus on themselves to heal. Do meditation, yoga, therapy with a professional well verse and experienced in abuse and trauma, and move on. The best revenge is to have a good life. Abusers do not change, they only change making their abusive behaviour more effective with experience. You didn't brake them, you can't fix them.
I apologized to his ex. because I did wrong her. and I did know better. The second time, permanent break up. I said nothing. I went no contact. and when he hoovered I shut him down. I'm zero supply and dangerous. hope that means I get to have peace.
His gf somehow found our texts between. Me & him ( he kept me hidden, im his friend btw) so he said that he was sorry and he had to back off now. Later his gf text me that i was no longer his friend/besties , she forgave us but doesnt trust us. She was going to try to salvage him & their relationship, i had done enough damage , have respect and understand please , i need for you to stay. Out of the picture. As long as she was in his life i was no longer needed and He was well aware of that and he wants this too. I apologized to her , told her what i believed what our relationship was and wished them the best. I blocked him of everything . my friends say that he will come back when its over or when she starts work he will reach out i admit , wouldn't know how i would react ..I hope that i have the courage to say what i feel even tho he doesn't care at least i said my peace & i walk away. Even tho i would like to blame him for ALL the pain and hurt he has put me through, i cant cuz i allowed it to happen , i should've known better . i still have to forgive myself, its hard to do . yet i know ill be ok
I called him out on everything, exposed everything to family and friends, shamed him, insulted him, laughed at him..etc I was ghosted silent treatment trying to mind fuck me... destroy me smear my name...I survived...he's a great big asshole to this day. Then, the final blow I left before he could destroy me...before he could discard completely, I DID IT FIRST! He then trying to cause me legal trouble I went to court and he lost. 😉
I did this too my ex towards the end of the relationship. Called her out on her crap and called her a narcissist manipulative woman. Crazy jealous and insecure. I called her out on things she had nothing to say or avoid subject or changed subject. I had her figured out and she knew it. Why she moved without any closure at all. She packed her stuff and left without saying anything
My narc did a totally unexpected discard and expected me to accept it, like I accepted all his other BS but when I said to him that he was afraid of me telling others what he is... that's when I saw the evil devil appear. His eyes turned black, the threats poured out of his mouth and the threats of physical harm left me terrified... so I just left when he wasn't expecting it and went no contact. Whoa, I just watched the feathers fly and the blind panic but I am holding out 6 months later and am now trying to mend what feels like irreparable damage but hopefully I will get there.
Spot on Jess!!! You literally just defined my relationship with my narc in a nutshell. It all makes so much sense now, gives me a whole new perspective on obtaining the closure I needed that he never gave me. Thank you 😘
Scary thing for me is that he knows I know his deepest and ugliest secrets yet he has attempted hoovering twice since I left him in 2018. Maybe the things he told me were lies so he doesn't care but now he won't even look at me if I see him in passing because I have shut him down both times. I'm always hoping he is aware that I have developed solid boundaries and the old me is dead and gone. I read the text or messages he sends, which is always arrogant, laugh at them and he hears crickets. Ego deflated and off he goes to try and prove how great he is. Insert vomit emoji here.
I always think and hope that people can heal their wounds so I wish him to heal as I wish the same to myself. At the moment I'm living very isolated from every one. Just I communicate on TH-cam and in a language that is not my mother tongue 🤪. This is my way to survive. I know he will be back . A narcissistic relationship is a relationship that has got the ambition to bring you to Yourself. He is my perfect mirror. I'll find out whether I got over my lack of integrity 🤕💔❣️🤍...
I was discarded very quickly when I called out the Narc for ghosting me around my birthday and saying the words, "why is everything always about you?" The narc tried to make me feel like I was super selfish and then like magic vanished... best thing that ever happened in the entire relationship by the way. The vanishing act was the best gift that was ever given by the narc. Peace!!!
perhaps now she knows that i know,,,, cause i wasn't moved with her attempted hoovering that's why. and it's going on the 3rd month with no contact. enjoying the silence here. thank you again jess, stay awesome!
Jess, really enjoyed this one!!!...never thought about myself as being “dangerous “.... but it certainly fits in when being in a relationship with a narcissist, and then some. It is of great value to understand what “danger” means to someone who is highly narcissistic and to know and understand the power we hold in just being our genuine, authentic selves. Thank you, Jess, this is exactly what I needed to hear today.♥️☀️♥️♥️♥️
Far and Wide... absolutely👍 When the Hoover becomes the cold approach they may need to become imposing for the very sake of maintaing source; Finding new easy source... Treating the old source as though they are easy and always their property, their right to belong, no question of will... Hoovering the ex narc, they can become hypervigilent and seem hurled into a state of kaos. Pure symptom of the disorder, when someone who was supposed to fear them becomes their fear. When we should have respected eachother and got along. Touchy subjects when the gaslight and manipulations can no longer take effect. 🙏
Hi Jess! Thanks again for this video! I have yet to call my ex a narcissist to her face but I have said it probably 10,000 times to myself....So toxic! See you tonight at the Q&A!❤️🙏🏻🕊
I called my sin a narcissist yesterday and he has been most of his life..But,yesterday,I had enough of feeling guilty for not being a perfect mom,that I am not his cook and maid..It was like something snapped..I don't care if he is mad or not..I have been always jealous of my 'perfect' x husband and his wife and I let it control my life..no mire..I don't care..It was the greatest feeling..I have divorced a narcissist,dumped a pathological lying best friend and called my son out,in the last 3 years..What an amazing feeling...just to know they are unable to have the power to hurt you..my son is 37 and has had me tied up in knots for 30 years...no more...NC with x hubby for a year ...went so far as to change phone number..exactly 10 people have it..and I trust everyone of them..I never thought I would feel like this..it's wonderful.
My 25 years ago ex, got in panic when someone who thought was my friend, join her work place. So she tried to contact me after 25 years later pretending that she just "found out" my FB contact. I admit that for a while I was flattered and got into this game of "likes" and "oh she is there". Then I discovered via your videos what a narc is AND then I realised that the only reason of this "contact" was her panic. Then I blocked her from everything possible and now I am going again through the "go no contact" phase that I did so many years ago without knowing that that was the best technique.
When I become quite and walk away because I know I'm not welcome around him, he gets very upset and calls me dangerous, lizard due to my blood RH-, BPD, and more. .. I know it's not good for me or our 3 children but I'm trying really hard to keep my family together and my children happy but I'm dying inside. I need to find courage to walk away for good that I once had before it's too late. Thank you again
Mine hoovered on Valentines day and on Easter. Lovey dovey cards/candy left on the bumper of my car. I didnt say a word either time..........not even thank you. I am no contact.
Update: Two weeks ago my ex saw me gaining popularity and trending on the music site where we are both still members and where we initially met. She was very predictable. This time around I heard the vacuum sound long before she contacted me. She came at me in a Gmail praising me but this time I didn't let my own vanity and my penis think for me. I simply ignored her. A few days later same thing but now she wanted to be cool and at peace with me and be 'cordial'. Where was this mature rational attitude two months ago and on back four years? All the sudden now she wants to be cool. So, I sent back. "Agreed''. Two days later she hit me up from another angle and I denied her. She hasn't contacted me since, almost two weeks. I am finally over her. As much as a person can be over someone they adored, worshiped and would have died for. Honestly, I would have given my life for this women and in the end she broke up with me for holding her accountable. When I tried to reason with her that day she discarded me, she replied. "Naaaah, I just ain't feelin it with you anymore.'' Then she came crawlin back and I truly ''ainlt feelin it anymore''. (Insert Mic Drop Gif Here)
Well I must be really dangerous to my Narc... because I have done all the above. Most importantly pursuing legal action against him because he stole 30K from me, he signed a promissory note and now refuses to pay. Oh and he is the head Pastor of his church. I had the Sheriff's department serve him at his church.
Or - if you are someone who is generally good at dialing your emotions down (because emotions can either go high, generally the higher they go like my husband you're close to anxiety attacks and panic attacks or you can dilate them down. I trained myself to do that a long time ago so I don't react without thinking) but if the narcissist knows he or she can't get a rise from you but at the same time thoughout knowing you they can feel a shift in your behaviour because they are masters at knowing when your avoiding them or pulling back, they feel that emotional shift and then they start thinking you're onto them. My ex would get so funny with me when I went quiet, he never liked it and when I said I was thinking he used to say, "thinking? Thinking about what? You going to leave me? You're going to leave aren't you?" At the time I was like whoah, woah, woah but that's how that got him all fired up.
I ignored narcissist so she was very afraid to speak then she said why did I reply late....means she has found something suspicious about me. But now I know I am so powerful
egregious deeds, one of which was criminal...she told the dog ‘bye’ but not me after 27 years...LOL...she didn’t deny anything I said but turned ashen grey and shook her head from side to side and her black eyes seemed to roll loose in her head...that was the last time I ever spoke with her...she had two feet out the door anyway...but she had hoped to keep me in layaway like narcs prefer to do...no hoovers for me...she knows that I know exactly what she is...no supply to mine ...so she narcs on with her current supply mines...I wanted her to know that I know...abandonment and exposure are two of their greatest fears...so fear this!
"Freaks like me? Huh? Well I don't believe my Creator Hvshtali created my physical being as a freak Anja. My Creator and my spiritual teachings taught me to honor and respect all living things, while europeans denied us as human beings,used your so called "civilized society" to justify land thefts, murders, genocide,ethnocide,forced assimilation,forced sterilization, and other atrocities on humanity." That´s how narcissists react as if the fact that others disliking them is the same as abuse or something. I guess this kind of people only know how to use the words and actions against others only to pretend that they are never the problem.
GOD FORBID...I PRAY the exposure implodes their entire world! I'm not a shitty person, so be it. I was a shitty mean alcoholic and couldn't see it for YEARS, The best thing that ever happened to me, and oddly I can thank the ex narc for, was that alcohol was a bad look on me. I'd thank her for it, but there's too many "I'm sorrys" that are awed to start thsnkibg then for shit.
The empath not dangerous but the narcissist new triple toxic narc supply it because cant achieve what scheamed and the empath left so the game over now both of dirty minded toxic narcs suffer ...life gives everyone what they deserves!
I blocked her on social media.. But my sister didnt. So when i tag my sister in a nice picture on facebook that doesnt mention them directly... They "reply" with another picture of her and her new supply. Funny.
My son is very narcissistic because of things that happened in his adolescent Hood which is no excuse however he does not want me his mom to be involved in his girlfriend relationships because I think he's afraid I will tell them the truth so he ghosted me we have near no contact unless it's the bear minimum and I'm good thank you and if anybody has any other suggestions on how to handle this person because he's exhausting me to the point where my well-being and health are suffering my mental health that is and I'm beginning to wonder should I gray rock him whenever we meet because when we are out he fakes it so that everything looks good for him but when I bring something up he brings it back on me with punishments like not coming to get me to go to the grocery store I have a disability which doesn't allow me to drive and I'm here and all these videos are awesome because now I'm figuring out I could gray rock him and still have fun because it's not all about him he calls me selfish and everything else that they come up with and I just smile now and just don't engage him so I'm starting to learn how to Gray Rock him anybody have any other suggestions because I want to call him out so bad
Coming to you from Portland Or narc central i once again thank you for another amazing video speaking the truth.. So my comment is about the fear they have of rejection and that is why they wont hoover. It has been 1yr yesterday since i left her, and yes she lost her shit when i did.. lol She did try a passive hoover in december which i didn't respond to, but i am thinking that due to her losing all her friends and her current supply being a much better narc than her, and its destroying her, that she will be trying to hoover again but more direct. Do you think i am free since it has been over a year? Or is it time to prep?
Always be in guard she's not done yet she's just getting a taste of her own medicine when she gets some supply whether it be from a male or even a girlfriend who unknowingly has fall victim and become prey because they're predators make no mistake ...and cosigns there BS unknowingly of course because who really knows when they are becoming prey to these predators most don't
@@1bluegrassbass I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way now..... it’s very sad these people want to do us so much harm, all to assuage their fragile, eggshell egos.....Remember that being in a relationship with a narcissist IS the real prison where you are not free to be yourself, it’s where you answer to THEM. Unusually that’s why they discard you is because to them, you are a broken appliance, fit only for the scrap heap.What’s really going on is they want to punish you for being so smart you’ve found them out or for what they see coming that you will find them out. This, the only way to preserve their sense of power is to abruptly be the one to discard you. Right now, let joy enter your heart. Start with every day things like sitting in the sun and laughing at funny videos or watching kids play. Or a waitress being kind to you. Invest in yourself. Freedom is a wonderful gift. I hope this helps. Take it one day at a time, careful to be kind to yourself.....I hope this helps♥️
I'd have to say a pretty sick technique is every time we stop over to pick up her kids from her previous marriage which I really look forward to but has become an entirely different dysfunctional relationship because the kids are literally told that they can't talk about having fun at our house or some place we might take them, making then feel as if they show any interest in liking me that they are instantly hated by their dad. He often likes to shoot a deer rifle off the back porch when we show up as if it intimidates me(I'm a firearms aficionado and I'm trained in combat) and I made it REALLY CLEAR...VERY EARLY ON...I made it CRYSTAL CLEAR To EVERYONE that I DO NOT INTEND to take their Dad's place. The first time I met her son he asked if he could call me Dad and it was EVERYTHING INSIDE ME not to break down crying on the spot as my narc ex wife disappeared with my son for 3 months before I could find her to a state full of her "flying monkeys" making it all but impossible to see him out of spite. She literally left in the dead of the night and took my DOG TOO...WHO HATED HER...WHICH SHE GAVE AWAY TO A WEIMARANER FARM and LOST my son's blue Merle Border Collie he adored. She TOOK MY BIOLOGICAL SON OUT OF SPITE...REFUSED HIM A FATHER!!!.. The current narc just had an mental break of some kind and ended up in the hospital and came out GHOST. I was SO DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH HER...I STILL AM...ITS GOING ON 2 MONTHS NOT SEEING OR TALKING TO HER OR HER KIDS AND IM LITERALLY SUICIDAL I'm so upset. I kissed her ON MY PORCH SAID I LOVE YOU SWEETIE, AND I'LL SEE YOU AFTER YOUR DINNER AT YOUR FAMILY'S HOUSE...MY SOUL MASTER so I thought...I miss her kids... it's a sickening situation I can't understand. Like waking up in your own nightmare. EVER seen stocky a 6'1" 225lb man cry to the point no sound came out for 2 months???? Stop on by for a visit. I can't shut the pain off long enough to go in to pay for gas at a gas station without being a blubbering fool. This hurt worse than losing my father year b4 last🥺😭😭😭😭😭😥😢👬😅😓😭😭😭😭
I became very dangerous to her. But, I have always spoken my mind. Not in a trouble making way. I'm not afraid of confrontations but I don't want to cause trouble either so it was a constant balancing act to not offend her. There were always red flags which is why I stupidly got a bit acclimated to her drama and her quirks. The love bombing...her sex and seduction game was off the charts amazing. Hooked! Now that I think back it really was like a drug. I was hooked on the feel good chemicals my body and brain released just when talking on the phone with her not to mention our in person chemistry. She started off being the most generous lover and by the last few months it was like I was just kept around for sex with no mention of my needs or desires sexually or otherwise. She became like a dude with sex and affections. 😅 I actually pointed that out and she laughed agreeing with me. Most guys would think that was a perfect arrangement and she even tried to sell me that idea several times but I wanted to "stay" a monogamous couple and be affectionate etc. I can not explain enough how incremental the positive things about her personality were replaced by a negative ones. I knew most of what she was doing, yet I stayed thinking I could help her change by pointing out her double standards and her lies. What was I thinking?! Love and sex totally whooped my ass regarding that woman and she knew it. I like to think I'm intuitive and wise but I was fooled. Don't think you can change anyone especially a Narcissist and don't get complacent about red flags. 🚩🚩🚩
Spewing the truth in their face also makes us dangerous. I am dangerous when it comes to toxic people cause they can't knock me off balance anymore💪
Yup
Say to their face ," I'm not scared of you anymore". Watch their facial response freeze. Remember they are bullies , who deep down, are scared and fragile.
Great statement. I must use it.
Our strength makes us absolutely dangerous to them.
Amen
They are afraid of "the light" you carry. They only thrve in the darkness.
Your light is like water on the wicked witch from Oz.
"Im melting" LOL
Shine on you children of God.
Narcissists fear your strong personality and that you are smarter then them so they try everything to oppress you so their position isn´t in danger. Narcissists are like flowers who think they must destroy the "trees" - sensitive people, to not feel as small and helpless as they are.
Yes, indeed, narcs want somebody who is like play-doh to them.
Hahahaha....he did NOT appreciate being called a narcissist by me!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The garbage takes itself out - I’m smarter than him.
Exactly. You have to always maintain control and power
Am a Lio ♌. It speaks for itself
Its an advantage for us to a narc that we're dangerous to them! My motto:
Like a good neighbor, stay over there! Thanks Jess for another great video! Blessings and have a beautiful safe day! ☀🙏🏽💪🏾😊🖤
On point! I bowed out awhile ago, he cheated & lied. Busted & disgusted can never be trusted. He knows I know everything even tho he denies it all. That would make me right and him wrong. It’s not that the truth hurts, it hurts that I know the truth! Thank you
Speaking loud and concise to them ( remember at one point the narc was saying I can't hear you , they hate it when you speak soft or weak in their minds ) confidence is like Kryptonite keeps them away!!!!
M. Skinner. You are absolutely right. That is why the Abuser (Narc) works relentlessly on destroying the Target's confidence /self-esteem, through active overted or converted toxic criticism, devaluation, smear, lies, they start slowly dropping the poison, to get the Target of Abuse destroyed from the inside out.
The Abuser needs to destroy the confidence of the Target of Abuse. Only in that way can keep the Abuse going.
The Abuser will pull all the tricks, to gaslight the target, to create cognitive dissonance, to make the target of abuse to doubt of the Reality, they create isolation and false reality to achieve their abuse. With the help of the Narcs Enablers the Abuser creates parallel reality, is disgusting. The Narc can not do it efficiently without their Flying Monkeys (enablers).
The Abuser uses "positive reinforcement". The Abuser alternates "being good", "Being bad", the Abusers do that to keep the Target of Abuse attached to the Abuser. Confused and eternally waiting for those "good times". That creates the "Trauma Bond", that is why it becomes hard for Targets of Abuse to leave, the Target of Abuse is hurt and confused. In the brain is created a mix of biological cocktail that couses an addiction to the abuser, because of the intensity of the Abuser behaviour, intense chaos and confusion then the good times, is a cycle of abuse. Then the targets tryes to survive trying to please the Abuser by pleasing him/her.
The key is self-steem, boundaries, boundaries reinforment and emotional regulation due to the consistent Abuser attacks. Abusers use people's emotions as a weapon.
Is important that the Target of Abuse, Goes cold turkey No contact with the abuser, and all the flying Monkeys (any helper of the Abuser). Get the focus on themselves to heal. Do meditation, yoga, therapy with a professional well verse and experienced in abuse and trauma, and move on. The best revenge is to have a good life. Abusers do not change, they only change making their abusive behaviour more effective with experience. You didn't brake them, you can't fix them.
@@lobojunior7403 thanks for sharing...my take away...exude confidence...and have a great life w/o them
I apologized to his ex. because I did wrong her. and I did know better. The second time, permanent break up. I said nothing. I went no contact. and when he hoovered I shut him down. I'm zero supply and dangerous. hope that means I get to have peace.
His gf somehow found our texts between. Me & him ( he kept me hidden, im his friend btw) so he said that he was sorry and he had to back off now. Later his gf text me that i was no longer his friend/besties , she forgave us but doesnt trust us. She was going to try to salvage him & their relationship, i had done enough damage , have respect and understand please , i need for you to stay. Out of the picture. As long as she was in his life i was no longer needed and He was well aware of that and he wants this too. I apologized to her , told her what i believed what our relationship was and wished them the best. I blocked him of everything . my friends say that he will come back when its over or when she starts work he will reach out i admit , wouldn't know how i would react ..I hope that i have the courage to say what i feel even tho he doesn't care at least i said my peace & i walk away. Even tho i would like to blame him for ALL the pain and hurt he has put me through, i cant cuz i allowed it to happen , i should've known better . i still have to forgive myself, its hard to do . yet i know ill be ok
Use caution and never let them know that you know.
I called him out on everything, exposed everything to family and friends, shamed him, insulted him, laughed at him..etc I was ghosted silent treatment trying to mind fuck me... destroy me smear my name...I survived...he's a great big asshole to this day. Then, the final blow I left before he could destroy me...before he could discard completely, I DID IT FIRST! He then trying to cause me legal trouble I went to court and he lost. 😉
I know that part about not knowing what you did to deserve....
Remember that it's their problem... not yours. They suck.
I just left a narcissistic !
I did this too my ex towards the end of the relationship. Called her out on her crap and called her a narcissist manipulative woman. Crazy jealous and insecure. I called her out on things she had nothing to say or avoid subject or changed subject. I had her figured out and she knew it. Why she moved without any closure at all. She packed her stuff and left without saying anything
I have no idea why someone gives you a thumbs down. You are fabulous and ignore that!
My narc did a totally unexpected discard and expected me to accept it, like I accepted all his other BS but when I said to him that he was afraid of me telling others what he is... that's when I saw the evil devil appear. His eyes turned black, the threats poured out of his mouth and the threats of physical harm left me terrified... so I just left when he wasn't expecting it and went no contact. Whoa, I just watched the feathers fly and the blind panic but I am holding out 6 months later and am now trying to mend what feels like irreparable damage but hopefully I will get there.
It’s lonely at the top! Who cares about them
Spot on Jess!!! You literally just defined my relationship with my narc in a nutshell. It all makes so much sense now, gives me a whole new perspective on obtaining the closure I needed that he never gave me. Thank you 😘
Scary thing for me is that he knows I know his deepest and ugliest secrets yet he has attempted hoovering twice since I left him in 2018. Maybe the things he told me were lies so he doesn't care but now he won't even look at me if I see him in passing because I have shut him down both times. I'm always hoping he is aware that I have developed solid boundaries and the old me is dead and gone. I read the text or messages he sends, which is always arrogant, laugh at them and he hears crickets. Ego deflated and off he goes to try and prove how great he is. Insert vomit emoji here.
I always think and hope that people can heal their wounds so I wish him to heal as I wish the same to myself. At the moment I'm living very isolated from every one. Just I communicate on TH-cam and in a language that is not my mother tongue 🤪. This is my way to survive. I know he will be back . A narcissistic relationship is a relationship that has got the ambition to bring you to Yourself. He is my perfect mirror. I'll find out whether I got over my lack of integrity 🤕💔❣️🤍...
Yes he said that I am dangerous when I become silent
Same here
Ok I have a great reason to never break no contact, can’t pass up a chance to find authentic loving relationship!!!
I was discarded very quickly when I called out the Narc for ghosting me around my birthday and saying the words, "why is everything always about you?" The narc tried to make me feel like I was super selfish and then like magic vanished... best thing that ever happened in the entire relationship by the way. The vanishing act was the best gift that was ever given by the narc. Peace!!!
perhaps now she knows that i know,,,, cause i wasn't moved with her attempted hoovering that's why. and it's going on the 3rd month with no contact. enjoying the silence here.
thank you again jess, stay awesome!
THEY NEVER TAMED ME BECAUSE I REFUSED TO BE TREATED LIKE A THING. THEN I LEFT BECAUSE THEY WERE LIARS AND DISRESPECTFUL.
Yup 💯
It seems you 've met more than one of them🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺
That part ‼️‼️‼️
Jess, really enjoyed this one!!!...never thought about myself as being “dangerous “.... but it certainly fits in when being in a relationship with a narcissist, and then some.
It is of great value to understand what “danger” means to someone who is highly narcissistic and to know and understand the power we hold in just being our genuine, authentic selves.
Thank you, Jess, this is exactly what I needed to hear today.♥️☀️♥️♥️♥️
Far and Wide... absolutely👍
When the Hoover becomes the cold approach they may need to become imposing for the very sake of maintaing source;
Finding new easy source...
Treating the old source as though they are easy and always their property, their right to belong, no question of will...
Hoovering the ex narc, they can become hypervigilent and seem hurled into a state of kaos. Pure symptom of the disorder, when someone who was supposed to fear them becomes their fear. When we should have respected eachother and got along. Touchy subjects when the gaslight and manipulations can no longer take effect. 🙏
Hi Jess! Thanks again for this video! I have yet to call my ex a narcissist to her face but I have said it probably 10,000 times to myself....So toxic! See you tonight at the Q&A!❤️🙏🏻🕊
I called my sin a narcissist yesterday and he has been most of his life..But,yesterday,I had enough of feeling guilty for not being a perfect mom,that I am not his cook and maid..It was like something snapped..I don't care if he is mad or not..I have been always jealous of my 'perfect' x husband and his wife and I let it control my life..no mire..I don't care..It was the greatest feeling..I have divorced a narcissist,dumped a pathological lying best friend and called my son out,in the last 3 years..What an amazing feeling...just to know they are unable to have the power to hurt you..my son is 37 and has had me tied up in knots for 30 years...no more...NC with x hubby for a year ...went so far as to change phone number..exactly 10 people have it..and I trust everyone of them..I never thought I would feel like this..it's wonderful.
Im concealed to carry!! That should be considered pretty dangerous! Lmao!!
Boom! Spot on again! Accurate points! 💯 👌🏼
My 25 years ago ex, got in panic when someone who thought was my friend, join her work place. So she tried to contact me after 25 years later pretending that she just "found out" my FB contact. I admit that for a while I was flattered and got into this game of "likes" and "oh she is there". Then I discovered via your videos what a narc is AND then I realised that the only reason of this "contact" was her panic. Then I blocked her from everything possible and now I am going again through the "go no contact" phase that I did so many years ago without knowing that that was the best technique.
You are one of the best specialists
When I called the ex out she'd always play the victim and say that's why I left......
😃oh yes I did told him that one day when he got a new supply I will tell her to observe his narc behavior.
Needed this today, thank you
When I become quite and walk away because I know I'm not welcome around him, he gets very upset and calls me dangerous, lizard due to my blood RH-, BPD, and more. ..
I know it's not good for me or our 3 children but I'm trying really hard to keep my family together and my children happy but I'm dying inside. I need to find courage to walk away for good that I once had before it's too late. Thank you again
My ex is a very quite person always in silent mode. Looking depressed all the time. My sons told me this.
Mine hoovered on Valentines day and on Easter. Lovey dovey cards/candy left on the bumper of my car. I didnt say a word either time..........not even thank you. I am no contact.
Update: Two weeks ago my ex saw me gaining popularity and trending on the music site where we are both still members and where we initially met. She was very predictable. This time around I heard the vacuum sound long before she contacted me. She came at me in a Gmail praising me but this time I didn't let my own vanity and my penis think for me. I simply ignored her. A few days later same thing but now she wanted to be cool and at peace with me and be 'cordial'. Where was this mature rational attitude two months ago and on back four years? All the sudden now she wants to be cool. So, I sent back. "Agreed''.
Two days later she hit me up from another angle and I denied her. She hasn't contacted me since, almost two weeks. I am finally over her. As much as a person can be over someone they adored, worshiped and would have died for. Honestly, I would have given my life for this women and in the end she broke up with me for holding her accountable. When I tried to reason with her that day she discarded me, she replied. "Naaaah, I just ain't feelin it with you anymore.''
Then she came crawlin back and I truly ''ainlt feelin it anymore''. (Insert Mic Drop Gif Here)
Well I must be really dangerous to my Narc... because I have done all the above. Most importantly pursuing legal action against him because he stole 30K from me, he signed a promissory note and now refuses to pay. Oh and he is the head Pastor of his church. I had the Sheriff's department serve him at his church.
Another great lesson, thanks Jess!
Thank you! You're helping get through this!!!
Yeah bc they are nuts ‼️O:-)
Thank you again Jess
Or - if you are someone who is generally good at dialing your emotions down (because emotions can either go high, generally the higher they go like my husband you're close to anxiety attacks and panic attacks or you can dilate them down. I trained myself to do that a long time ago so I don't react without thinking) but if the narcissist knows he or she can't get a rise from you but at the same time thoughout knowing you they can feel a shift in your behaviour because they are masters at knowing when your avoiding them or pulling back, they feel that emotional shift and then they start thinking you're onto them.
My ex would get so funny with me when I went quiet, he never liked it and when I said I was thinking he used to say,
"thinking? Thinking about what? You going to leave me? You're going to leave aren't you?"
At the time I was like whoah, woah, woah but that's how that got him all fired up.
Oooo! neat clicky sound at the beginning
I ignored narcissist so she was very afraid to speak then she said why did I reply late....means she has found something suspicious about me. But now I know I am so powerful
Is the silent ones are dangerous also
Not when I am 57 and they are 83 lol! Don't want to return ugh!
I dont know of this counts?! For some reason during an argument i told her that I dont trust myself with her and told her that I dont trust her
egregious deeds, one of which was criminal...she told the dog ‘bye’ but not me after 27 years...LOL...she didn’t deny anything I said but turned ashen grey and shook her head from side to side and her black eyes seemed to roll loose in her head...that was the last time I ever spoke with her...she had two feet out the door anyway...but she had hoped to keep me in layaway like narcs prefer to do...no hoovers for me...she knows that I know exactly what she is...no supply to mine ...so she narcs on with her current supply mines...I wanted her to know that I know...abandonment and exposure are two of their greatest fears...so fear this!
Hi Jess, the one in my life does not like it one bit when told how high my IQ is!
Nicely presented Madam Jess.Very helpful.☺️
"Freaks like me? Huh? Well I don't believe my Creator Hvshtali created my physical being as a freak Anja. My Creator and my spiritual teachings taught me to honor and respect all living things, while europeans denied us as human beings,used your so called "civilized society" to justify land thefts, murders, genocide,ethnocide,forced assimilation,forced sterilization, and other atrocities on humanity." That´s how narcissists react as if the fact that others disliking them is the same as abuse or something. I guess this kind of people only know how to use the words and actions against others only to pretend that they are never the problem.
THANK YOU SO MUCH 👍😀🌸🙏
GOD FORBID...I PRAY the exposure implodes their entire world! I'm not a shitty person, so be it. I was a shitty mean alcoholic and couldn't see it for YEARS, The best thing that ever happened to me, and oddly I can thank the ex narc for, was that alcohol was a bad look on me. I'd thank her for it, but there's too many "I'm sorrys" that are awed to start thsnkibg then for shit.
The empath not dangerous but the narcissist new triple toxic narc supply it because cant achieve what scheamed and the empath left so the game over now both of dirty minded toxic narcs suffer ...life gives everyone what they deserves!
I blocked her on social media.. But my sister didnt. So when i tag my sister in a nice picture on facebook that doesnt mention them directly... They "reply" with another picture of her and her new supply. Funny.
My son is very narcissistic because of things that happened in his adolescent Hood which is no excuse however he does not want me his mom to be involved in his girlfriend relationships because I think he's afraid I will tell them the truth so he ghosted me we have near no contact unless it's the bear minimum and I'm good thank you and if anybody has any other suggestions on how to handle this person because he's exhausting me to the point where my well-being and health are suffering my mental health that is and I'm beginning to wonder should I gray rock him whenever we meet because when we are out he fakes it so that everything looks good for him but when I bring something up he brings it back on me with punishments like not coming to get me to go to the grocery store I have a disability which doesn't allow me to drive and I'm here and all these videos are awesome because now I'm figuring out I could gray rock him and still have fun because it's not all about him he calls me selfish and everything else that they come up with and I just smile now and just don't engage him so I'm starting to learn how to Gray Rock him anybody have any other suggestions because I want to call him out so bad
What is it about people like us that keep people like them opsonised with us?
Against all advice I told my narcex that she is a narc and confronted here with some of her ege
I criticized her actions on Tik Tok without names
AMEN JESS 👍
Coming to you from Portland Or narc central i once again thank you for another amazing video speaking the truth.. So my comment is about the fear they have of rejection and that is why they wont hoover. It has been 1yr yesterday since i left her, and yes she lost her shit when i did.. lol She did try a passive hoover in december which i didn't respond to, but i am thinking that due to her losing all her friends and her current supply being a much better narc than her, and its destroying her, that she will be trying to hoover again but more direct. Do you think i am free since it has been over a year? Or is it time to prep?
Always be in guard she's not done yet she's just getting a taste of her own medicine when she gets some supply whether it be from a male or even a girlfriend who unknowingly has fall victim and become prey because they're predators make no mistake ...and cosigns there BS unknowingly of course because who really knows when they are becoming prey to these predators most don't
I spoke to his ex wife and up to this day he has no idea
The one thing that bothers Me the most , is this time ( yeah , there have been many ) I didn't discard Her. She discarded Me.
But look at your gift of freedom!
@@abowling5759 I wish I felt that way my friend ! It’s been two months and I am completely miserable . It feels more like prison !
@@1bluegrassbass I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way now..... it’s very sad these people want to do us so much harm, all to assuage their fragile, eggshell egos.....Remember that being in a relationship with a narcissist IS the real prison where you are not free to be yourself, it’s where you answer to THEM.
Unusually that’s why they discard you is because to them, you are a broken appliance, fit only for the scrap heap.What’s really going on is they want to punish you for being so smart you’ve found them out or for what they see coming that you will find them out.
This, the only way to preserve their sense of power is to abruptly be the one to discard you.
Right now, let joy enter your heart. Start with every day things like sitting in the sun and laughing at funny videos or watching kids play. Or a waitress being kind to you. Invest in yourself.
Freedom is a wonderful gift. I hope this helps. Take it one day at a time, careful to be kind to yourself.....I hope this helps♥️
@@abowling5759 Thank You ! I appreciate your wisdom and support !
@@1bluegrassbass you’re very welcome!
I'd have to say a pretty sick technique is every time we stop over to pick up her kids from her previous marriage which I really look forward to but has become an entirely different dysfunctional relationship because the kids are literally told that they can't talk about having fun at our house or some place we might take them, making then feel as if they show any interest in liking me that they are instantly hated by their dad. He often likes to shoot a deer rifle off the back porch when we show up as if it intimidates me(I'm a firearms aficionado and I'm trained in combat) and I made it REALLY CLEAR...VERY EARLY ON...I made it CRYSTAL CLEAR
To EVERYONE that I DO NOT INTEND to take their Dad's place. The first time I met her son he asked if he could call me Dad and it was EVERYTHING INSIDE ME not to break down crying on the spot as my narc ex wife disappeared with my son for 3 months before I could find her to a state full of her "flying monkeys" making it all but impossible to see him out of spite. She literally left in the dead of the night and took my DOG TOO...WHO HATED HER...WHICH SHE GAVE AWAY TO A WEIMARANER FARM and LOST my son's blue Merle Border Collie he adored. She TOOK MY BIOLOGICAL SON OUT OF SPITE...REFUSED HIM A FATHER!!!.. The current narc just had an mental break of some kind and ended up in the hospital and came out GHOST. I was SO DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH HER...I STILL AM...ITS GOING ON 2 MONTHS NOT SEEING OR TALKING TO HER OR HER KIDS AND IM LITERALLY SUICIDAL I'm so upset. I kissed her ON MY PORCH SAID I LOVE YOU SWEETIE, AND I'LL SEE YOU AFTER YOUR DINNER AT YOUR FAMILY'S HOUSE...MY SOUL MASTER so I thought...I miss her kids... it's a sickening situation I can't understand. Like waking up in your own nightmare. EVER seen stocky a 6'1" 225lb man cry to the point no sound came out for 2 months???? Stop on by for a visit. I can't shut the pain off long enough to go in to pay for gas at a gas station without being a blubbering fool. This hurt worse than losing my father year b4 last🥺😭😭😭😭😭😥😢👬😅😓😭😭😭😭
Too long to rest it ALLL
I became very dangerous to her. But, I have always spoken my mind. Not in a trouble making way. I'm not afraid of confrontations but I don't want to cause trouble either so it was a constant balancing act to not offend her. There were always red flags which is why I stupidly got a bit acclimated to her drama and her quirks. The love bombing...her sex and seduction game was off the charts amazing. Hooked! Now that I think back it really was like a drug. I was hooked on the feel good chemicals my body and brain released just when talking on the phone with her not to mention our in person chemistry. She started off being the most generous lover and by the last few months it was like I was just kept around for sex with no mention of my needs or desires sexually or otherwise. She became like a dude with sex and affections. 😅
I actually pointed that out and she laughed agreeing with me. Most guys would think that was a perfect arrangement and she even tried to sell me that idea several times but I wanted to "stay" a monogamous couple and be affectionate etc. I can not explain enough how incremental the positive things about her personality were replaced by a negative ones. I knew most of what she was doing, yet I stayed thinking I could help her change by pointing out her double standards and her lies. What was I thinking?! Love and sex totally whooped my ass regarding that woman and she knew it. I like to think I'm intuitive and wise but I was fooled.
Don't think you can change anyone especially a Narcissist and don't get complacent about red flags.
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Wow heard that
A
Amen❤🕊
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I feel like a narcissist. Can't help it. The game is so fun. Trying to get back in there. Hey I had to steal her from another guy in the first place.
You sound like a child
@@holdontothelight8377 And they are the adult? Sure.
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