there's a saying i like. "if its worth doing its worth doing poorly" like brushing your teeth. if you can't make 2 minutes, 10 seconds and a quick rinse is still better than nothing.
A lot of grew up woth rhe "if you're not going to do it right, dont bother" kind of parent. But we have to remind ourselves that anything worth doing, is worth doing badly.
this is why there's a saying that the only bad work out is the one you don't show up for, and that you should focus on building routine rather than focusing on the results.
But the results are the only thing that matters. I've done the showing up and working hard and it didn't give me anything worth all that effort. It was years of misery and worsening physical and mental state. It's taking me a lot of energy now to break all of those habits and get back to the things I was in too much pain to do before, like cleaning the house and enjoying life.
Yesssss. This is one of the most concrete, actionable pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten. Depressed perfectionists and traumatized adults who think they aren’t enough need to hear this. ❤ thank you
I started working out by doing simple 5-10min exercises every day. Over time, I craved more intensity as I was (very) slowly building my strength. Now I can work out for over 30 minutes any time I want to and I thank myself for starting out at only 5 mins... because otherwise, I would have given up. And 5-10 minutes of moving your body is better than not trying at all♥️
This is encouraging! I’ve started by getting back into stretching and even that makes a huge difference. Seeing your comment I’m gonna give myself permission to do just a 5 min workout after stretching 😁 gotta start somewhere
That's what happened to me, I've been trying for years to workout but I could only keep up for a week then I would give up and not want to continue and after that I would spend months and almost years without trying because I already did and failed, but last month I've started working out with a little bit, 10 minutes of work per day if i wasn't busy that day and suddenly I can constantly do exercise almost everyday, and if for some reason I couldn't do it one day, I do not beat myself up about it and I've never been happier in regards to working out
Amen, sister. Proud of you! Im at the spot that any moving I do is just plus. Sometimes I take a longer route when feeling like it and sometimes a shorter one. Main thing is that I move and have started actually enjoying it. Not ever time but now and then, more and more.
This sort of perfectionism was inculcated by the public school system. Think about it. If you ever failed, it was a black mark on your permanent record, AND it meant that everything in the future would be harder because you didn't understand the fundamentals. It's literally a positive feedback loop of failure.
Very true. You either feel condemned to eternal failure very early on, or you live with the spectre of failure looming over you until it inevitably gets you one day and derails your life. What wonderful values we’re instilling in our kids
Well add this to being Asian and also coming from a poor background and you get the pressure x 100. That was my childhood. Getting one thing wrong would leave me in tears even if I was doing better than everyone else.
That is so true, but some people after experiencing one of those, would learn to accept their current results and do better the next time around. @Fluff-gl6yr
Very true. I'm currently facing this issue with wanting to date. I want to put myself out there. But, in the same vain I'm worried I'm not enough and everyone will reject me. But, if I don't try, I'll never meet someone. So, like it or not I just need to accept pain and do it.
The problem a lot of people face with dating is viewing rejection as failure. Really, the correct way to approach it is as a learning opportunity. You can understand what does and doesn't work and when someone is into you. As you grow and improve your courtship skills, you will eventually come across someone who finds the qualities you possess highly desirable. The point is to enjoy the process, or you will become bitter and only make things harder.
Deciding what experiences other people are allowed to have for them is rude. You say "they won't like me", you just robbed them of their ability to choose for themselves. That's not cool. Be you, and like you said, practice makes perfect. Also though, I recommend getting in touch with what it is you actually want out of relationship. A story has been taught to us societally that we are supposed to rely on our partner for all of our emotional burdens....that shit needs to be spread out between friends, colleagues, family, yourself, aaaaaand your partner. If you don't have the others in place first, you will sabotage your relationships.
@@jfrydom Agreed 100%. My issue is I've been fed a very toxic belief of physical appearance, $ex drive, money, success, etc . . . Superficial things. Beyond healthy exercises or has a steady job. So, despite getting past the depression and body dysmorphyia. I still carrie this fear of "insufficient" in those superficial areas, i.e., abs, certain income level. But, while there are shallow people out there. I need to understand that, that isn't everyone. But, thank you. I know you're right.
@@farfromirrational Agreed. I've told myself the same about, "deciding for others." As for the why. Already on the positive side of that. I want to date and am hopeful for a relationship. I don't need them. I'm fine with being alone. I'm responsible for my growth, love, and happiness. A happy, healthy, loving relationship is built on trust and respect. Where both parties feel safe, secure, and supported. Thank you, for the advice and reminder.
@@Dragonmoon1598 sounds like you're quite the catch brother. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised to find that when you find the right people, they won't be able to get enough of you. Then you start dealing with the issues of having to hurt feelings by honoring your own boundaries 😭🤣. What a strange world we live in.
About the exercise thing, i've found that microdosing work outs throughout the day is a great way to exercise without even having to dedicate time to it. Need to walk to the bathroom? Or anywhere and not in too much of a hurry? Do some lunges on your way there. Standing or sitting at a desk? Find some simple stretches or exercises you can do while you work, such as squats or side to side stretches. A little goes a long way
Your peculiar diction conjures a vivid image of what flavor of person you may be. I’m picturing a fit and frivolous 20-something beanie-wearing, bearded man from LA 😂
@VyvienneEaux nah, not quite fit yet, dont wear beanies, not 20 yet, and not from LA. Wouldn't quite say I'm frivolous either. Just sharing some tips that've been working well for me that I've learned from MovementbyDavid, Strength Side, and Mulligainz.
Those tiny actions absolutely add up over time. It all goes towards your goals. The reverse is also true. Just an extra cookie or skipping a just 10 minute walk isn't a big deal *once*. But over time, repeatedly, it adds up to sabotage your progress.
I needed to hear this. I'm diagnosed with ADHD primarily inattentive. I've been stuck and haven't been able to try to start exercise routines for myself, and I've been worried about starting and stopping and having to start again. I'm in the same situation regarding my hygiene habits. I struggle with brushing and flossing my teeth and showering, it's so hard to take care of myself, I don't feel like I will survive.
Feeling called out hard... and good because I do this too often and needed a reminder doing anything, however small, is more progress than doing nothing.
I have this philosophy: move. balance. understand. Step one to anything is just wiggle around, moving is better than not moving. Step two is balancing, do more of the good, less of the bad, and you’ll start heading in the right direction. Step 3 is understand. Understand the details, fine tune your craft, and you go from novice to intermediate to expert.
Think of it like flying. The plane first makes small movements around the runway, usually not in the direction of the destination. Then it takes one big leap in the general direction of the destination. Then it fine tunes it’s path so it’s not just to the country, state, city, or even building. It lands on a specific piece of runway, a mile long, 99.99+% of the time. That’s expertise.
I half-assed going to the gym for months, but I still made progress. Eventually, the habit of going consistently despite not working out that hard made it easier and easier for me to put in more and more effort. I essentially went from someone who never exercised to being in great shape just by slowly but consistently making an effort.
Hey Dr. K. I had been so scared to go back to school for a masters in mental health counseling, but I began doing it and already feel much better. It felt like such a huge risk, taking out loans, going to school on top of a 9-5, but as each day passes, I simply keep doing it. Keep doing homework, even though I'm scared to get a bad grade, and keep on top of everything. Figures such as yourself have been motivation. Thanks for your work.
I needed that. Currently applying for a job. And everytime I see a vacency I know it will be a no 99% of the time... and I don't want to hear a no again.
Yes! This is how I get into my routines. I try to be a little better, doing not enough but I started. I'm great when I have momentum and I can use that to steamroll ahead. It's just that initial movement that feels insurmountable until I'm past it.
Bro, INCREDIBLE advice. I've been working out regularly for 2 years. When I started, I felt so insecure. I didn't know how to do any exercises, or what muscles to train, anything. I felt like I was just gonna fail in a few weeks anyway. But I went anyway. Eventually, I paid a trainer to teach me some real things. Now, I'm the fittest I've ever been. It's not about trying to go from couch potato to Sam Sulek in 6 months. It's about just doing something. And if it makes progress, even small progress, it's working. Keep doing it.
"Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly" is what gets me up and moving. "If you're going to do something, do it right" is what motivates me to do things the best I can. "Make it easier on the next guy, because it's probably gonna be you". Is how I try to look forward beyond what's right in front of me.
This is good advice. Any time I feel overwhelmed by something I should do but just can't make myself start, I'll pretend it doesn't even matter if I'll get anything done at all. I'll just "check it out a bit" and then I'm good to leave. More often than not, that small "just checking it out" action will get me over whatever emotion made me not able to start, and I notice I'll be able to finish the rest of it with way less effort than it initially felt and usually well in time as well.
It is amazing how just listening to Dr. K makes me feel like a better person. Still a lot to work on, but listening to this makes it feel like it might happen
I recall reading a tumblr post years ago about how anything worth doing, is worth doing half-assed. Doing something poorly is better than not doing anything at all.
finally a salient and well-articulated video that gets the whole point across in 30 seconds instead of leaving you hanging lol in all seriousness though, this is a really important concept that i’ve been trying to implement for a long time. over time, doing *something* is better than doing nothing, but in the moment, not doing enough brings its own pain. that’s the part i’ve been struggling with. it’s hard to focus on the process over the result when the process itself is imperfect and causes its own pain. failing because you didn’t do enough weirdly feels more satisfying, or least more relieving, than trying to engage in a half measure consistently over a long period of time. i also struggle with the pitfall of not being able to continuously motivate myself to the point of automating a task. i can’t engage in a task long enough to build discipline because doing something makes me feel more accomplished than i actually am, and then i feel bad about my efforts not being enough, so i quit anyway. good message, but it’s more complicated in reality, at least for me.
I've learned this through stress. I wanted to study 6 hours and got myself frustrated cause it seemed unsusteinable the way I was doing things. Instead, putting myself to a ridiculous schedule of a half hour day in programming and a little more in things I really like had me going for progress.
Anything worth doing is worth doing half assed!! I adopted that in the middle of a deep depression and it slowly helped me (very gradually) climb back out. Just because you can't take a shower, doesn't mean it isn't worth it to freshen up, wash your face for example. Perfection isn't a thing that is real in the 3D world, it is only a concept.
You’re so good at what you do you’re so good you’re practical yet you’re fun and cool. You’re extremely professional. I really appreciate all of your great advice.
You have no idea how much I need this right now. I've been telling myself "what's the point?", "it's too much work", "it's gonna take a lot of time and effort", "in the end not of which is gonna be enough". Reminds me to take one step at a time because they're gonna matter in the long run.
The exercise tip is major! I’ve been committed to working out regularly for the past decade and I started by doing 10 minutes a day. Just to get in the habit of doing doing it. It was something that was non-intimidating and easy for me to fit into my schedule. I mean, think about it, if you don’t workout, trying to go from 0 minutes to a full hour of your day is a major change, not to mention how hard that might be physically. It’s ok to start with smaller steps. For me, that 10 minutes very quickly (and naturally) crept up to 20 minutes, then 30, and so on. I’ve since successfully completed months-long training programs for races, including a half marathon, completed weight lifting programs, worked on my speed as a runner, and maintained a 5-day a week workout regiment for years, and it all started with 10 minutes. And if there’s one thing I learned from doing 10 minute workouts it’s that you can get A LOT done in a 10 minutes. You could run a mile (or more/close to it, depending on your pace), do a badass HIIT workout, get a solid ab workout in, do some mobility work, a quick yoga flow, squeeze in some total body strength with compound movements, or simply move your body in a way that feels good. You can do any of those things in just 10 minutes! Then, if you give yourself 5 minutes to warm up and another 5 to cool down, commit yourself to those 10 minutes of the workout, well, then you’re really cookin! And then you can add on to the 10 minute workout length in a way that works for your fitness, goals, and life. Of course, as Dr. K mentioned, certain goals will require more, but 10 minutes is something. Don’t discount it.
These shorts have been very helpful. I'm struggling with finding motivation for academic projects that I take on in my spare time, and missing awesome opportunities because I procrastinate exactly because I'm afraid it will be not enough.
A lot of it is understanding the time it takes will pass either way. You can either look back in 10yrs and say I did it imperfectly or you can look back and say I didn't even try. I'd rather at least say I did it than not
It’s stuff like this that makes hidden in plain sight so effective! The it’s not enough translates to effort vs worth it’s obvious and gets us everytime anyway
This piece of advice is something i heard almost a year ago, idk if it was from dr K or someone else, but the realization of how often i would refuse to do something because it wouldnt be enough to achieve a certain goal shocked me. I started applying the philosophy of always doing something over doing nothing and gradually it led to what i actually wanted to achieve.
I've had to force myself to accept finished over perfect, because perfection doesn't get things done. Thanks for the reminder that this can be applied to other things as well.
I read on a random youtube vid a comment that has made me do so may excersize sessions I wouldn't otherwise do: "Anything worth doing is worth half-assing" I think its important with things like excercize cause sure the day I do 15 min of cardio instead of 30 is not gonna make me any slimmer doing 10 push ups instead of 100 is not gonna make you stronger, but its not just about those push ups with excerzice its about the doing it *every day* cause 100 push ups arent gonna make you stronger if you do them once and never again, 30 min cardio isnt gonna make you slimmer if you only do it once either. But pushing yourself to do it even a bit, makes doing the full set tomorrow alot easier
This actually helped me so much in this moment, im worried about checking on my siblings because I feel like I don’t have the perfect circumstances to relay back to them and the stuff that has been monumental progress for me isn’t much on paper
I started telling myself I have to stop trying to make things perfect because it discourages me from doing anything at all, and started to try and make things just a little bit better
Decided to adopt this mentality when it comes to singing/music, always being insecure and thinking I won't be good enough. But just gotta get started and enjoy it. Embrace your imperfection and realize everyone was not enough at one point.
Doing “not enough” when it comes to working out made a huge difference over the last few years (cutting out sugar, even just “mostly”, made a noticeable difference as well). All it took was a cheap flat bench, cheap pull up bar and some dumbbells (the most expensive part).
Hey dr K. I have managed to drastically improve my mental, framework for reality aswell as emotional stability. I managed to achieve alot, with my partner and myself. And the help of psychedelics. But finding your content has been such a swell addition to further improve myself in ways i havent even thought of. As an autist for whatever reason its very easy. To follow ur thought process etc. I love that you provide all this for free for everyone its very much apprecited. U are awesome buddy ❤
Well, the thing is (in transactional analysis) this is a driver called "be perfect" which makes you feel not enough. But, the permission is "do enough". So your advice is actually really good. Do the thing you "think" isn't enough
I literally just got done living this out at my job. Yesterday was my last day of training after 5 weeks. When I started, I was definitely not doing enough to stay where I am. Now, I’m doing more than enough, easily. Perfect timing to be seeing this lol
Yes! I'm currently working through a double major undergraduate degree at 35. I had an exam on Tuesday of this week. In English that I didn't study as well as I should have. I arrived 30 minutes early for my exam and figured that I might as well read this one short story quick in my textbook. I ended up writing half my exam on the short story I read literally a few minutes before. Pulled off an A- on the test. Do the thing. Even if it's not "perfect". Do it anyway.
I learned this from the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. It doesn't matter if your current ability is not enough, make it a habit, and you'll eventually get to that level.
Thank you dr.k, for these past few months I've had a fear over a few exams, and the one im currently giving, I won't be doing that good, but that's okay, thank you.
Thank you, really great information! As someone who is learning "other abled". Unfortunately during my life long educational journey I received very little support but a lot of failing grades, failed out of more than one college, and an MA program I understand this mind set! I for writing I use formulas and time sessions to help me with my success!
Man i am jealous of all the people here that werent taught "if you cant do it right then dont do it at all" by the people they looked up to. I can be aware of it and still cant even start no matter what.
This is something that I learned after figuratively falling flat on my face really hard. Three years ago, I wasn't sure I'd ever get my Bachelor Degree. Now I'm staring down the path of a Doctorate, terrified and excited in equal parts. (Edited for Grammar)
Half-assing is better than no-assing. Thanks, Dr K, I'm gonna go out for a walk now.
😁👍
there's a saying i like. "if its worth doing its worth doing poorly"
like brushing your teeth. if you can't make 2 minutes, 10 seconds and a quick rinse is still better than nothing.
That's a great quote
Cringe.
@@oscarlove4394if that's the case, go skydiving.
I need to watch this every single day to remind myself to try
Amen to that brother.
Tip, set an alarm with a link to this short lol
Thanks for the idea, I need to do the same thing. Going to implement this.
Bro this is so true i feel you
real, bro.
It’s like something that came to me the other day “Doing something is a lot better than doing a whole lot of nothing.”
"Something is better than nothing" One of my mantras.
Also, ‘done is better than perfect’.
A lot of grew up woth rhe "if you're not going to do it right, dont bother" kind of parent.
But we have to remind ourselves that anything worth doing, is worth doing badly.
this is why there's a saying that the only bad work out is the one you don't show up for, and that you should focus on building routine rather than focusing on the results.
But the results are the only thing that matters.
I've done the showing up and working hard and it didn't give me anything worth all that effort. It was years of misery and worsening physical and mental state.
It's taking me a lot of energy now to break all of those habits and get back to the things I was in too much pain to do before, like cleaning the house and enjoying life.
"The real success comes from the doing." Well said Dr K!
Yesssss. This is one of the most concrete, actionable pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten. Depressed perfectionists and traumatized adults who think they aren’t enough need to hear this. ❤ thank you
I started working out by doing simple 5-10min exercises every day. Over time, I craved more intensity as I was (very) slowly building my strength. Now I can work out for over 30 minutes any time I want to and I thank myself for starting out at only 5 mins... because otherwise, I would have given up. And 5-10 minutes of moving your body is better than not trying at all♥️
This is encouraging! I’ve started by getting back into stretching and even that makes a huge difference. Seeing your comment I’m gonna give myself permission to do just a 5 min workout after stretching 😁 gotta start somewhere
That's what happened to me, I've been trying for years to workout but I could only keep up for a week then I would give up and not want to continue and after that I would spend months and almost years without trying because I already did and failed, but last month I've started working out with a little bit, 10 minutes of work per day if i wasn't busy that day and suddenly I can constantly do exercise almost everyday, and if for some reason I couldn't do it one day, I do not beat myself up about it and I've never been happier in regards to working out
Awesome 😅❤
Thank you, I so needed to hear this. I am such a perfectionist that it's all or nothing for me which is very counter-productive...
Amen, sister. Proud of you!
Im at the spot that any moving I do is just plus. Sometimes I take a longer route when feeling like it and sometimes a shorter one. Main thing is that I move and have started actually enjoying it. Not ever time but now and then, more and more.
This sort of perfectionism was inculcated by the public school system. Think about it. If you ever failed, it was a black mark on your permanent record, AND it meant that everything in the future would be harder because you didn't understand the fundamentals. It's literally a positive feedback loop of failure.
Very true. You either feel condemned to eternal failure very early on, or you live with the spectre of failure looming over you until it inevitably gets you one day and derails your life. What wonderful values we’re instilling in our kids
@@Fluff-gl6yr Just look at the history why public schools were made. There is a reason the rich don't send their children there.
Well add this to being Asian and also coming from a poor background and you get the pressure x 100. That was my childhood. Getting one thing wrong would leave me in tears even if I was doing better than everyone else.
@@xdlr22 Yeah, that's really rough.
That is so true, but some people after experiencing one of those, would learn to accept their current results and do better the next time around. @Fluff-gl6yr
This is something that parents can learn too. Set good expectations for your kids but understand the value of the little things.
Life is about momentum. Doing even the small, can start the change to big
Very true. I'm currently facing this issue with wanting to date. I want to put myself out there. But, in the same vain I'm worried I'm not enough and everyone will reject me.
But, if I don't try, I'll never meet someone. So, like it or not I just need to accept pain and do it.
The problem a lot of people face with dating is viewing rejection as failure. Really, the correct way to approach it is as a learning opportunity. You can understand what does and doesn't work and when someone is into you. As you grow and improve your courtship skills, you will eventually come across someone who finds the qualities you possess highly desirable. The point is to enjoy the process, or you will become bitter and only make things harder.
Deciding what experiences other people are allowed to have for them is rude. You say "they won't like me", you just robbed them of their ability to choose for themselves. That's not cool.
Be you, and like you said, practice makes perfect. Also though, I recommend getting in touch with what it is you actually want out of relationship. A story has been taught to us societally that we are supposed to rely on our partner for all of our emotional burdens....that shit needs to be spread out between friends, colleagues, family, yourself, aaaaaand your partner. If you don't have the others in place first, you will sabotage your relationships.
@@jfrydom Agreed 100%. My issue is I've been fed a very toxic belief of physical appearance, $ex drive, money, success, etc . . . Superficial things. Beyond healthy exercises or has a steady job.
So, despite getting past the depression and body dysmorphyia. I still carrie this fear of "insufficient" in those superficial areas, i.e., abs, certain income level.
But, while there are shallow people out there. I need to understand that, that isn't everyone.
But, thank you. I know you're right.
@@farfromirrational Agreed. I've told myself the same about, "deciding for others."
As for the why. Already on the positive side of that. I want to date and am hopeful for a relationship. I don't need them.
I'm fine with being alone. I'm responsible for my growth, love, and happiness.
A happy, healthy, loving relationship is built on trust and respect. Where both parties feel safe, secure, and supported.
Thank you, for the advice and reminder.
@@Dragonmoon1598 sounds like you're quite the catch brother. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised to find that when you find the right people, they won't be able to get enough of you. Then you start dealing with the issues of having to hurt feelings by honoring your own boundaries 😭🤣. What a strange world we live in.
About the exercise thing, i've found that microdosing work outs throughout the day is a great way to exercise without even having to dedicate time to it.
Need to walk to the bathroom? Or anywhere and not in too much of a hurry? Do some lunges on your way there. Standing or sitting at a desk? Find some simple stretches or exercises you can do while you work, such as squats or side to side stretches.
A little goes a long way
Your peculiar diction conjures a vivid image of what flavor of person you may be. I’m picturing a fit and frivolous 20-something beanie-wearing, bearded man from LA 😂
@VyvienneEaux nah, not quite fit yet, dont wear beanies, not 20 yet, and not from LA. Wouldn't quite say I'm frivolous either.
Just sharing some tips that've been working well for me that I've learned from MovementbyDavid, Strength Side, and Mulligainz.
😲👏👏😼right!!
Those tiny actions absolutely add up over time. It all goes towards your goals.
The reverse is also true. Just an extra cookie or skipping a just 10 minute walk isn't a big deal *once*. But over time, repeatedly, it adds up to sabotage your progress.
Even if you don't get fit, you'll have a good laugh.
I needed to hear this. I'm diagnosed with ADHD primarily inattentive. I've been stuck and haven't been able to try to start exercise routines for myself, and I've been worried about starting and stopping and having to start again. I'm in the same situation regarding my hygiene habits. I struggle with brushing and flossing my teeth and showering, it's so hard to take care of myself, I don't feel like I will survive.
Anything worth doing, is worth doing poorly. That's the mindset my brother lives by and it has helped him tremendously!
Feeling called out hard...
and good because I do this too often and needed a reminder doing anything, however small, is more progress than doing nothing.
Let’s encourage each other to do a small something daily rather than not doing it at all 😊
Anything worth doing is worth doing imperfectly
I have this philosophy: move. balance. understand.
Step one to anything is just wiggle around, moving is better than not moving.
Step two is balancing, do more of the good, less of the bad, and you’ll start heading in the right direction.
Step 3 is understand. Understand the details, fine tune your craft, and you go from novice to intermediate to expert.
Think of it like flying. The plane first makes small movements around the runway, usually not in the direction of the destination. Then it takes one big leap in the general direction of the destination. Then it fine tunes it’s path so it’s not just to the country, state, city, or even building. It lands on a specific piece of runway, a mile long, 99.99+% of the time. That’s expertise.
I half-assed going to the gym for months, but I still made progress. Eventually, the habit of going consistently despite not working out that hard made it easier and easier for me to put in more and more effort. I essentially went from someone who never exercised to being in great shape just by slowly but consistently making an effort.
Hey Dr. K. I had been so scared to go back to school for a masters in mental health counseling, but I began doing it and already feel much better. It felt like such a huge risk, taking out loans, going to school on top of a 9-5, but as each day passes, I simply keep doing it. Keep doing homework, even though I'm scared to get a bad grade, and keep on top of everything. Figures such as yourself have been motivation. Thanks for your work.
I needed that. Currently applying for a job. And everytime I see a vacency I know it will be a no 99% of the time... and I don't want to hear a no again.
It’s about the journey, not the destination. Don’t try hard, work hard at trying.
Yes! This is how I get into my routines. I try to be a little better, doing not enough but I started.
I'm great when I have momentum and I can use that to steamroll ahead. It's just that initial movement that feels insurmountable until I'm past it.
Beginning action from a point that is not enough could eventually lead to enough, but will still lead to progress.
This is the single thing that holds me back the most in life.
❝the real success comes not from the thing that you are working or not working,real success comes from doing. ❞
Bro, INCREDIBLE advice. I've been working out regularly for 2 years. When I started, I felt so insecure. I didn't know how to do any exercises, or what muscles to train, anything. I felt like I was just gonna fail in a few weeks anyway. But I went anyway. Eventually, I paid a trainer to teach me some real things. Now, I'm the fittest I've ever been. It's not about trying to go from couch potato to Sam Sulek in 6 months. It's about just doing something. And if it makes progress, even small progress, it's working. Keep doing it.
This is right up there with "the time will pass anyway." We're scared of starting something knowing how long it will take. But...
"Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly" is what gets me up and moving. "If you're going to do something, do it right" is what motivates me to do things the best I can. "Make it easier on the next guy, because it's probably gonna be you". Is how I try to look forward beyond what's right in front of me.
Doing is more important than doing it perfectly
This is good advice. Any time I feel overwhelmed by something I should do but just can't make myself start, I'll pretend it doesn't even matter if I'll get anything done at all. I'll just "check it out a bit" and then I'm good to leave.
More often than not, that small "just checking it out" action will get me over whatever emotion made me not able to start, and I notice I'll be able to finish the rest of it with way less effort than it initially felt and usually well in time as well.
An important reminder: your inner critics are all trying to protect you, but they actually hold you back from the level of success you could achieve.
The key to having a life is simply this. Brilliant.
It is amazing how just listening to Dr. K makes me feel like a better person. Still a lot to work on, but listening to this makes it feel like it might happen
I recall reading a tumblr post years ago about how anything worth doing, is worth doing half-assed. Doing something poorly is better than not doing anything at all.
With all the shallow self improvement gurus online, this guy here gives actual solid advice to put into practice. Thank you very much.
finally a salient and well-articulated video that gets the whole point across in 30 seconds instead of leaving you hanging lol
in all seriousness though, this is a really important concept that i’ve been trying to implement for a long time. over time, doing *something* is better than doing nothing, but in the moment, not doing enough brings its own pain. that’s the part i’ve been struggling with.
it’s hard to focus on the process over the result when the process itself is imperfect and causes its own pain. failing because you didn’t do enough weirdly feels more satisfying, or least more relieving, than trying to engage in a half measure consistently over a long period of time.
i also struggle with the pitfall of not being able to continuously motivate myself to the point of automating a task. i can’t engage in a task long enough to build discipline because doing something makes me feel more accomplished than i actually am, and then i feel bad about my efforts not being enough, so i quit anyway.
good message, but it’s more complicated in reality, at least for me.
Have you read atomic habits?
I've learned this through stress. I wanted to study 6 hours and got myself frustrated cause it seemed unsusteinable the way I was doing things. Instead, putting myself to a ridiculous schedule of a half hour day in programming and a little more in things I really like had me going for progress.
Anything worth doing is worth doing half assed!!
I adopted that in the middle of a deep depression and it slowly helped me (very gradually) climb back out. Just because you can't take a shower, doesn't mean it isn't worth it to freshen up, wash your face for example. Perfection isn't a thing that is real in the 3D world, it is only a concept.
You’re so good at what you do you’re so good you’re practical yet you’re fun and cool. You’re extremely professional. I really appreciate all of your great advice.
You have no idea how much I need this right now. I've been telling myself "what's the point?", "it's too much work", "it's gonna take a lot of time and effort", "in the end not of which is gonna be enough". Reminds me to take one step at a time because they're gonna matter in the long run.
This is probably the single most vital advice for anyone who is down right now
This is legendary advice. Just some of the stuff that dr k sends out that is absolutely incredible
You get better at things from doing a little bit and getting stronger, and motivated from doing a little.
Real success doesn't come from the things that are working or not working, it rather comes from doing - well said 🙏
Regarding this I always told myself "doing is better than not doing", whatever the outcome or unnoticeable it is.
The exercise tip is major! I’ve been committed to working out regularly for the past decade and I started by doing 10 minutes a day. Just to get in the habit of doing doing it. It was something that was non-intimidating and easy for me to fit into my schedule. I mean, think about it, if you don’t workout, trying to go from 0 minutes to a full hour of your day is a major change, not to mention how hard that might be physically. It’s ok to start with smaller steps.
For me, that 10 minutes very quickly (and naturally) crept up to 20 minutes, then 30, and so on. I’ve since successfully completed months-long training programs for races, including a half marathon, completed weight lifting programs, worked on my speed as a runner, and maintained a 5-day a week workout regiment for years, and it all started with 10 minutes.
And if there’s one thing I learned from doing 10 minute workouts it’s that you can get A LOT done in a 10 minutes. You could run a mile (or more/close to it, depending on your pace), do a badass HIIT workout, get a solid ab workout in, do some mobility work, a quick yoga flow, squeeze in some total body strength with compound movements, or simply move your body in a way that feels good. You can do any of those things in just 10 minutes!
Then, if you give yourself 5 minutes to warm up and another 5 to cool down, commit yourself to those 10 minutes of the workout, well, then you’re really cookin! And then you can add on to the 10 minute workout length in a way that works for your fitness, goals, and life.
Of course, as Dr. K mentioned, certain goals will require more, but 10 minutes is something. Don’t discount it.
I’m so I found this channel. Each one of these shorts makes me think about things in ways i haven’t before, and is just what i need to hear.
These shorts have been very helpful. I'm struggling with finding motivation for academic projects that I take on in my spare time, and missing awesome opportunities because I procrastinate exactly because I'm afraid it will be not enough.
My life was changed when my therapist really got into me that sometimes it's okay to half-ass things. That it's not always "go big or go home".
You're amazing Dr K!
It’s enough when it’s perfect, so strive for not enough
This is actually such a powerful thing he said right here bro
Thanks, needed this
My mother constantly tells me that I'm not enough, now I'm proud of it! 💪🏻
A lot of it is understanding the time it takes will pass either way. You can either look back in 10yrs and say I did it imperfectly or you can look back and say I didn't even try. I'd rather at least say I did it than not
Wow!! This is the best advice on the internet! Hands down!
This approach also helps you build momentum to get to good enough.
So true and in a specific area of my life… I needed to hear this.
This is revolutionary for me. Thank you so much!
It’s stuff like this that makes hidden in plain sight so effective! The it’s not enough translates to effort vs worth it’s obvious and gets us everytime anyway
I've been watching your shorts a lot lately. The lil nuggets of wisdom you give are great honestly. Thank you for sharing all that you've learned 🙏💖
This is so true and so fundamental
This piece of advice is something i heard almost a year ago, idk if it was from dr K or someone else, but the realization of how often i would refuse to do something because it wouldnt be enough to achieve a certain goal shocked me. I started applying the philosophy of always doing something over doing nothing and gradually it led to what i actually wanted to achieve.
My parents told us to go after what we want and don't let rejection deter you.
Reminds me of a quote: "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing poorly."
Doing your best at your worst is still more than none, i deem that enough
Thank you. This is one of your biggest gems!!
This reminded me of the phrase: "everything worth doing is worth doing poorly"
I've had to force myself to accept finished over perfect, because perfection doesn't get things done. Thanks for the reminder that this can be applied to other things as well.
Ur right and thank you
I read on a random youtube vid a comment that has made me do so may excersize sessions I wouldn't otherwise do:
"Anything worth doing is worth half-assing"
I think its important with things like excercize cause sure the day I do 15 min of cardio instead of 30 is not gonna make me any slimmer doing 10 push ups instead of 100 is not gonna make you stronger, but its not just about those push ups with excerzice its about the doing it *every day* cause 100 push ups arent gonna make you stronger if you do them once and never again, 30 min cardio isnt gonna make you slimmer if you only do it once either. But pushing yourself to do it even a bit, makes doing the full set tomorrow alot easier
Needed this today. Thank you for all you do
This actually helped me so much in this moment, im worried about checking on my siblings because I feel like I don’t have the perfect circumstances to relay back to them and the stuff that has been monumental progress for me isn’t much on paper
I did this with men who were interested in me, good ones sometimes. I was not enough in my mind. I am over this. Healthy relationship here I come.
I started telling myself I have to stop trying to make things perfect because it discourages me from doing anything at all, and started to try and make things just a little bit better
Decided to adopt this mentality when it comes to singing/music, always being insecure and thinking I won't be good enough. But just gotta get started and enjoy it. Embrace your imperfection and realize everyone was not enough at one point.
This man knows my brain inside and out
Holy hell this is life changing insight that was right before my eyes the whole time
THANK YOU 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Doing “not enough” when it comes to working out made a huge difference over the last few years (cutting out sugar, even just “mostly”, made a noticeable difference as well). All it took was a cheap flat bench, cheap pull up bar and some dumbbells (the most expensive part).
Dr. K...
You are a life saver..
Thankyou so much..❤
Hey dr K.
I have managed to drastically improve my mental, framework for reality aswell as emotional stability. I managed to achieve alot, with my partner and myself. And the help of psychedelics. But finding your content has been such a swell addition to further improve myself in ways i havent even thought of. As an autist for whatever reason its very easy. To follow ur thought process etc. I love that you provide all this for free for everyone its very much apprecited. U are awesome buddy ❤
Well, the thing is (in transactional analysis) this is a driver called "be perfect" which makes you feel not enough. But, the permission is "do enough". So your advice is actually really good. Do the thing you "think" isn't enough
This is THE BEST advice on the internet for internet enthusiasts
Trying and failing is how you gain wisdom and a better understanding of your own limits. Never trying is how you never improve.
It’s becoming more and more apparent to me that if we could just find a way to not have a mind, we would attain all our goals and find true happiness.
I literally just got done living this out at my job.
Yesterday was my last day of training after 5 weeks. When I started, I was definitely not doing enough to stay where I am. Now, I’m doing more than enough, easily. Perfect timing to be seeing this lol
Yes! I'm currently working through a double major undergraduate degree at 35. I had an exam on Tuesday of this week. In English that I didn't study as well as I should have. I arrived 30 minutes early for my exam and figured that I might as well read this one short story quick in my textbook. I ended up writing half my exam on the short story I read literally a few minutes before. Pulled off an A- on the test. Do the thing. Even if it's not "perfect". Do it anyway.
This is really a huge advice for me, thank you so much!
I learned this from the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. It doesn't matter if your current ability is not enough, make it a habit, and you'll eventually get to that level.
Thank You 🙏
Exactly
You must understand & know you can handle it regardless
Thank you dr.k, for these past few months I've had a fear over a few exams, and the one im currently giving, I won't be doing that good, but that's okay, thank you.
Thank you, really great information! As someone who is learning "other abled". Unfortunately during my life long educational journey I received very little support but a lot of failing grades, failed out of more than one college, and an MA program I understand this mind set! I for writing I use formulas and time sessions to help me with my success!
Man i am jealous of all the people here that werent taught "if you cant do it right then dont do it at all" by the people they looked up to. I can be aware of it and still cant even start no matter what.
This is something that I learned after figuratively falling flat on my face really hard. Three years ago, I wasn't sure I'd ever get my Bachelor Degree. Now I'm staring down the path of a Doctorate, terrified and excited in equal parts.
(Edited for Grammar)
It's not about the victory, it's about the fight.
Thank you, this may be the game changer advice I needed to hear!
Gonna have this on loop.