Could you imagine trying to be with him in a relationship? Damn, man. I think we have all had someone like him in our lives and it is completely exhausting. You nailed it.
@@lestatsluv317 Most males are like this & I know this now. Which is why I don’t date, interact with or sleep with any male anymore. Been inaccessible to males for the past 3 years and my life has drastically improved. I like to be alone and prefer to be with myself or my family and/or friends. My friends and my adult children (I have 2 adopted daughters 17 & 23) provide great company and companionship. I don’t receive any benefits from dealing with men.
They aren't understanding that you can be angry and NOT be aggressive. She's not saying not to be upset. She's saying HOW you express your anger says a lot.
They don’t understand that not everything has to be met with anger, it’s not the only emotion. You can choose to rise above the situation and respond with tact but for him it’s a dominance issue. He doesn’t want to be perceived as weak.
@MindMelding pronouns! you mean HE keeps raising HIS voice. or more accurately THEY because 2 men were screaming at a woman speaking in her inside voice...hell she even goes into library voice on more than one occasion to help deescalate the men. Go back to elementary school to learn your pronouns
It was the “you said” that irks me. Like they can’t figure out what she saying. Act mature, control your emotions. Time and place. Who likes to be lied to tho? No one. I get upset too, but that is when emotional maturity kicks in. You let the person know and you walk away. No screaming no yelling no need to get physical. The person lied to your face and you upset, you may be angry but your emotional intelligence will tell you walk away and stay away from that person. Being immature is actually responding in a hateful, vengeful, yelling angry , fighting is not mature and therefore that violent person lacks emotional intelligence. You allowed to be angry, your allowed to be upset, but you not allowed to act like you have total control over the person you angry with and they should see things ONLY your way. These men are SLOW, and not listening and ONLY want to prove themselves right instead of understanding. Sad. Two emotional negative males. Poor girl. 🤦🏽😔
@@sg5720And the worst part is that these two are only examples of a widespread problem. Most men are emotionally immature, even if the they don't respond as outwardly demonstrative as these two. And most of them don't become mature until the second half of their lives, if they mature at all.
The way my sympatheic system is set up, I would have walked out. They are the ones that keep interrupting her. They are straight gaslighting. And they also have a comprehension issue as well.
Yes, but I think that people going around saying "you are emotionally immature" doesn't help. And the explanation she gave didn't help either, a better way to explain this would be to explain how one can be manipulated by their own emotions. If you react emotionally to other people's opinions or words, THEY are in control of your actions.
@@MindMelding-t5e No, you are conditioned to think a woman who asserts her point is "angry", because of your limited scope of the nuance in how people conduct themselves. Its does not matter what she said to counter him, you would see that as her being "angry" because you already attached that label to her.
@@thegazetteyt That's not what I said. If we want people we love to understand what we mean, saying to them that they are immature, we won't get anything from it. But yeah, understand what you want, that's not on me 🤷♀
I agree. That includes being allowed to show that anger in your voice. Maybe I missed it, but that distinction was never made. She makes it seem like getting angry at all is immature. She never says, "It's ok to be angry, but not yell and scream." She even said you don't have to be a robot. But ALWAYS being super calm even when you want to rage (and the key word is always) is unhealthy.
Exactly! I was trying to explain to my seventeen year old niece yesterday that you might not be able to control how you feel about someone or some thing but you are in complete control of how you respond or what you do (or don't do) with the feelings.
He also called her a dictator to try to make her feel bad and back off. Not only is he being emotionally immature, he’s also being emotionally manipulative.
Getting angry over nothing is NOT managing your emotions. This guy reminds me of Myron from Fresh and Fit. Easily triggered because someone is not telling him what he wants to hear - 🚩.
Like most men, he’s emotionally immature because all of his emotions are expressed as anger. Being annoyed, frustrated, disappointed, or hurt are only displayed thru anger and aggression.
None of what he said was logical, it was just trying to twist what she said or project onto her. Everything he was saying was out of emotion, not logic. Even him saying he's "passionate". Passion requires a heightened state of emotion, so claiming to be passionate as a way to reduce being emotional isn't logical. He's just argumentative and immature.
15:30 so this is the type of thing abusers say. "You made me have an emotion, so I have the right to respond violently, it's your fault that I can't control my emotions." I hope he didn't trigger a trauma response for anyone else.
Glad I’m not the only one whose neck prickled at that point. I didn't see your comment until after noting that remark about 15:00. “I didn’t come out of the gate like that”. He came out of the gate exactly like that, the moment he heard the words “emotional maturity”. Reply
YEP, an ego issue and usually a complex trauma issue. People who lack emotional maturity tend to internalize other people's behavior. It's okay to hurt, but we aren't too internalize it. Long story short , everyone could benefit from the right therapy. Notice the guy said "Because they did it TO me"
So ironic that they keep refusing to har her point that you can deal with someone lying to your face without acting mad - and they tell her SHE is not listening!
I don't know why this woman bothers listening to these two boys yelling at her when they can't even get stuff that most people learned in kindergarten. They're literally there screaming at her about how she's upset and she's answering in the calmest manner possible, acting like they aren't very clearly visibly and audibly triggered by her merely pointing this shit out to them. If it wasn't true y'all wouldn't be upset, because someone saying a genuinely wrong fact about you is not upsetting - someone telling me I have black hair when I clearly don't is not something I'd get angry about.
You can tell how emotionally mature someone is by their body language and tone of voice. His body language and tone screams, "I'm insecure and underdeveloped but fear for others to perceive me that way, so I'm going to be loud and use anger, intimidation and attempts at domination in order to compensate for my massive insecurity" 💯👀
If tolerating a certain level of disrespect wasn't a useful strategy, Black women wouldn't be holding high corporate positions. Clearly it's a form of calculation and self discipline... He doesn't get it.
Unfortunately, I think women have also been punished for learning how to adapt to disrespect... At some point it can backfire especially if a woman applies her corporate skills to a romantic relationship. We should not have to acclimate to disrespect from our intimate partners or family... Not in our homes... But even so, when disrespect is clocked, cutting ties in silence is the power move... Not tantruming and blowing up.
He's literally explaining that he doesn't have the (emotional) intelligence to do anything but REACT to what others are doing. He cannot manage his emotions for himself, he just blames other people for whatever emotion he displays. Also...part of the actual definition being read: 'manage emotions *in order to BUILD relationships.' She should have asked him how how anger is building *anything*.
He’s a damn child in an adult body and even though the other one isn’t on screen, he’s the same. They are also trying to purposely agitate her and failing. Emotionally immature men are so stupid.
Men who get told REPEATEDLY that they way they speak, act, or inhabit their being is a problem, an emotionally mature man would notice the repetition and begin to ask "can you tell me what is bothering you about this interaction? how is my speech/action/being creating negativity in this moment?" and then STFU and listen. Take in that information then find tools to adjust and grow.
Everytime I see these videos, I'm so glad that more women are staying single and my circle of single friends are growing. Males are dangerous. This guy is a walking red flag. He's going on the list of guys that we will run from or just call the police. Ladies this list is so long now that I believe we need to create an app. So that when we meet these males we can immediately check to see if their on there and all of the videos and toxic comments they have made.
@@OzzyDrixClay He didn't keep his cool. He asked questions but didn't listen or try to comprehend the answers, so he was not logical or using "logical intelligence." To be logical, you must be able to listen and comprehend what you read and hear. He was emotional. Anger is an emotion.
26:32 nobody has let this woman get a sentence off since this discussion started. And both of them jump every time she speaks. So she is now combating two people and these dudes are just trying to win the conversation instead of have a discussion
This is where she should have shut the conversation down and removed herself and explained that she was invited for conversation/debate, not to be attacked and talked over. We need to be more mindful of our time and our safety. We need to stop going back and forth with ppl who are solely in the business of disrespecting and intimidating bw.
@@tiffanytalley1029 exactly just like how womyn in these comments b talking to these ai b.o.t.s..wasting time and energy my comments keep being deleted every time i try to warn womyn
They tried to trigger her into being aggressively angry and disproving her point. They failed. She proved there’s a time and a place for everything. They are consequences to your reactions. She realized the game and stayed true to herself because it really didn’t affect her. That is showing emotional intelligence.
He seems to be looking for the "gotcha". He isnt in the conversation to come to an understanding. He listening to react and rebuff. There is a desire/need to "win". Communication isn't about "winning". It's about each person walking away from the conversation feeling understood. If you need to "win", if you think winning is who shuts down the conversation first or shouting down the other person or getting them to say you are right, that is not emotional intelligence. The objective is always to have each person feel understood/heard. Emotional intelligence doesnt just show up because you have lived experience. It is about examining yourself learning what maladaptive ways you have learned to communicate that shut down growth, what things trigger you into an emotional loop and working on responding in a way that doesn’t lead to trying to manipulate or abuse the other person. It is work you do on yourself. And, for sure, it IS work.
Emotional intelligence is categorized in 4 sections: Self awareness, social awareness, self management and relationship management(family, romantic, friendships).
They really need to start requiring licenses before obtaining microphones, and a podcast. Not only is the caveman behind the scenes patronizing and gaslighting her, but the Neanderthal barking on camera doesn't have two brain cells to save his life. Dude's barely coherent. And they need two to take her on. Gross all around.
Near the beginning, he said he gets told that he's emotionally immature a lot. That's why he hates to hear it. Instead of figuring it out and doing better he's standing on being a dummy. He also lacks self awareness. He'll probably be 65 acting like this and wondering why no one wants to be around him. His whole prescence is extremely off putting.
He can only access anger. It's the only emotion he knows how to express. If he's hurt because someone lies to him? The hurt translates to anger and he feels alright expressing the anger, but never the hurt. If he's afraid because someone he cares about or relies on lets him down? He expresses the anger, rather than the fear. He needs to learn how to identify ALL the feelings, and express the ones besides anger as the first and only feeling.
The fact that they are trying to jump her with their flawed logic is nasty work. This is the easiest thing to understand, yet he can not even comprehend it. He is absolutely emotionally immature.
If multiple people keep telling you you're emotionally immature, it's a problem. Even saying out loud, "You getting me mad!" Is something a child would say.
Bruh, didn’t they define what emotionally maturity is at the beginning of this segment? How does he believe that the way he’s acting is regulated and can help him foster healthy relationships? No one wants to deal with this temper tantrum he’s having over something so trivial.
Exactly! That's the issue. He's evidently bringing that into relationships, romantic or otherwise. That lack of growth is detrimental to himself and those close to him.
This guy is way too hype. An emotionally intelligent man would know that speaking to a woman like this comes off as very aggressive and based on what most women and girls have had to endure in their lives, it’s usually very triggering and intimidating. There’s no reason for it. Compose yourself and act like an adult. Also, anger and shutting down are the two ways men have been conditioned to react. The goal is to explore what real emotion is underneath these reactions and find out how to express THAT. That is emotional maturity. These men have none
Personally I don't find it intimidating, but annoying and fruitless. It makes me feel so frustrated and like the person is a lost cause. More exhausting than intimidating
@@greywitchwanderer9608 Yeah, it’s extremely draining. In the beginning she mentioned being uncomfortable when men raise their voice around her and I feel she made a good point that this is a violence many women go through that men should be aware of. They literally made zero adjustments and didn’t care.
@@pipperluemany people lack introspection, and ESPECIALLY men. They are energized by pure ego and until they get older and the testosterone lowers they just cant see it.
They keep saying that she is interrupting them...but it is them that keep interrupting her. Them boys are annoying. If my partner acted like this I would have dumped his a$$.
You have a right to be mad. You can feel however you want. What you dont have a right to do is act out that anger in inappropriate ways. You are emotionally immature if you cant control your emotions. That dude is a petulant child😂😂😂
Those 2 guys weren't listening to her except to try to "gotcha" her. They are too busy defending to hear what she is saying. It's perfectly clear from the outside. Great screen shot at 11:47. You caught a picture of his real self.
As a mom with ADHD and all 3 of my kids have ADHD because it's hereditary. We don't have the same access to our prefrontal cortex and cerebellum, so learning and teaching how to be emotionally connected to our thoughts, feelings, and actions. It is super important. Emotional dysregulation already comes with ADHD.
She's right. You can see in real time how his self-centered attitude and lack of calmness is blocking him from understanding her and learning. This is why most people rarely grow or self improve.
These guys are failing to realize that having emotional intelligence is preserving their health. Stress k*lls and being emotionally intelligent extends your life. If they want to be emotionally unhealthy, LET THEM. Chronic stress is a known risk factor for heart attacks and strokes. Stop arguing with people that choose to be toxic, let them learn the hard way. Eventually they’ll see why it’s important.
This was a hard watch. The way they are talking to her as she stays calm is showing they don't have maturity. She is not attacking and they feel attacked. She is coming across more powerful, but they want her to lose her cool.
She is sooo right the loudest one always loses. Especially if we are black women. They already have the bias that we are angry. It doesn’t matter if we are right. Acting angry and loud automatically leads to humans believing that the quiet one is right or the victim
He can’t even have a calm conversation about an opinion that they disagree on. If you are incapable of doing that you are clearly emotionally immature. I would not give someone like this the time of day.
I think the way the angry, emotional guy is able to rationalize his level of response to someone saying something he doesn't like is how most men rationalize even worse responses (i.e., violence, verbal abuse) to things people say to them.
Yea, narcissistic abusers. But you know, we’re all tired of that word. He deflected, reversed, accused and made excuses for his behavior and gave a revision of history. Thats all their specialty. And he went on the attack bringing up her kids which is emotional abuse. He’s checking allllll the boxes
"You're getting me mad" is an emotionally immature statement. That's literally making other people responsible for your feelings and behavior. You are CHOOSING to be mad and then CHOOSING how you behave in that situation.
It’s funny how you mentioned an example that happened to me last week - my supervisor called a meeting with me and the big boss, very last minute and unannounced. Tried to lie on me and fabricate a conversation that never happened- in front of his supervisor! I calmly called him out and was proud of myself for not flipping tables - because he was literally lying and fucking with my paycheck based on his “feelings” that I wasn’t a team player , despite high praise from clients and coworkers for my job performance 😑 why are some dudes like this
I love what her dad said about loud people losing. I spent like 2 yrs watching a lot of reactionary videos, and it was causing me to lose control of myself and get mad and loud because I felt personal over what people would say or do. And it was only recently that I had the realization that ny reaction wasn't helping whatsoever, and wasn't helping people close to me want to be honest about certain opinions near me, because they didn't want me to go off on them.
Glad I’m not the only one whose neck prickled at that point. I didn't see your comment until after noting that remark about 15:00. “I didn’t come out of the gate like that”. He came out of the gate exactly like that, the moment he heard the words “emotional maturity”.
The projection is too real 🤦🏽 Does he know what emotions are? Does he know what maturity is? Then he should know. And that whole, "oh so I'm not emotionally mature since I won't let people walk all over me?" bit was just too much. Nobody is saying that, sir. What's more likely is that HE has emotional outbursts when others do no allow HIM to disrespect them, and they told him he was immature so now he projects that back onto them because his ego is too big and narcissistic to ever recognize his own fault. Guys like that are so beyond repulsive but will never even try to change because they're too busy looking for a woman to blame.
In the words of DreamDoll, "talk to me nice or don't talk to me at all". As a person who lives on the 'disrespectful' wavelength, Jordan annoys me and his insistence on raising his voice is triggering. Like bruh, stop talking to me like that or [you fill in the dots] I ain't the one bruh. My emotional maturity is always a work in progress; but I don't play that raising your voice at me, mixed with the aggressive tone, plus gaslighting-nah, I'm good.
Lol him, "my emotion of choice is anger". Baby that's not a choice, thats the point. If you can't be anything BUT angry, it's not a choice, it's an impulse response you cannot control. You cannot regulate and you are emotionally immature because of that.
A few minutes ago he literally said he was angry and questioned why being angry was wrong and why it made him emotionally immature Then he said he wasn't angry?? Peak gaslighting. 😂
Emotional maturity is the ability to understand and regulate your emotions. It's an awareness of your current state, knowing your triggers and being able to maintain them in a balanced way. However, we are all human and sometimes we let our emotions get the better of us. The trick is that emotional awareness is a life-long journey where you are constantly striving to better yourself. I feel the young man is getting angry, both of them are overriding her and not understanding at all what she is trying to say. They are arguing that they have a right to react to disrespect and she is trying to tell them that while you have a right, HOW you respond indicates your current level of maturity.
What someone needs to explain to them is that, if it bothers them so much when others disrespect them, they shouldn't be so disrespectful to others. People are only giving them back the energy THEY have chosen to put out.
His ego will not allow him to ever become self aware. This woman having a different point of view really got him SPUN OUT. It makes him angry that he can't get this woman to recant her very accurate observation. Also, bringing that type of energy around a calm, erudite woman is some punk-ass behavior. He shows a lack of respect AND empathy. DENIED🚫
They've read this definition multiple times, but no one has asked if his behavior helps build relationships. If you react that way to everyone over everything, you are constantly raising your cortisol levels and therefore stressed out. Also, this 2V1 is sad to watch. It's easier to gang up on a black woman than it is to listen to what she has to say.
That KEY WORD is 'regulate'. We all have a range of emotions and we're free to express them. The KEY is to 'regulate' our emotions, ESPECIALLY 'rage', 'aggression' and 'anger. EVEN if someone LIES in your face and you feel triggered inside, the choice to NOT OUTWARDLY EXPRESS YOUR ANGER, 'THAT'S' how you express 'emotional maturity'. This has nothing to do with 'tone policing'. That has everything to do with the receiver of the message to 'regulate their stress, anger, frustration or aggression. A person who lacks emotional regulation is highly likely to be an abuser. The part where she stated her father told her 'the loudest one, loses' is, SPOT ON.
It affects his ego, so he refuses to be reasonable after that. He can't regulate his emotions after he's triggered by the "disrespect", that's the emotional immaturity.
What I'm wondering the most here is why tf is this clearly intelligent and emotionally mature woman interviewing this clown like where did she drag him out of and why
I swear there's nothing less attractive than an argumentative man
That's an argumentative woman trapped in a male body.
Ooh, Child.
But, they say women are the ones who are always argumentative.
This right here… he argues more than a damn woman.
@@ras3024 very bitchy ! But then u can't call him a bitch while u calm, bc now u emasculated and gaslit him even more
This guy literally looks childish by his physical appearance and he acts childish & silly. He’s exhausting
EXTREMELY exhausting.
Could you imagine trying to be with him in a relationship? Damn, man. I think we have all had someone like him in our lives and it is completely exhausting. You nailed it.
the frustrating part is his level of confidence. dude thinks cause he’s the loudest that he’s the smartest person in the room
@@lestatsluv317 Most males are like this & I know this now. Which is why I don’t date, interact with or sleep with any male anymore. Been inaccessible to males for the past 3 years and my life has drastically improved. I like to be alone and prefer to be with myself or my family and/or friends. My friends and my adult children (I have 2 adopted daughters 17 & 23) provide great company and companionship. I don’t receive any benefits from dealing with men.
Like his nickname is man man
They aren't understanding that you can be angry and NOT be aggressive. She's not saying not to be upset. She's saying HOW you express your anger says a lot.
They don’t understand that not everything has to be met with anger, it’s not the only emotion. You can choose to rise above the situation and respond with tact but for him it’s a dominance issue. He doesn’t want to be perceived as weak.
They gaslight and pretend bm not to understand
He’s acting like a child in real time.
Don't insult children like that. 😂 I've definitely met children more mature than this man.
Live in 5D
@@daniella8400 asking logical questions
@@MindMelding-t5e yeah sure
Emotional maturity is chasing him, but he is faster lol.
He doesn't come across as passionate. He comes across as aggressive AND angry.
And dismissive!
Ppl like him often conflate anger and passion.
They made it clear they don't see being angry as being emotional. Also, he seems very zesty.😂😂
@@d.m.k5599 that's usually what they are angry about not being able to express
@@rdpeete19861 they like to lie to themselves... it's very much EGO
She really tried to have a civilized conversation with two men with a low EI. How exhausting.
@@215welivee she Kept raising her voice getting loud
@@MindMelding-t5e”She” was raising her voice?
@MindMelding
pronouns!
you mean HE keeps raising HIS voice. or more accurately THEY because 2 men were screaming at a woman speaking in her inside voice...hell she even goes into library voice on more than one occasion to help deescalate the men.
Go back to elementary school to learn your pronouns
@@MindMelding-t5ethe only time she raised her voice is when she was spitting back the bs that they were avoiding..smh
Gaslight much😂
@@MindMelding-t5eyou must have voices in your head.
his thought process is exactly how you go to prison LOL.
Dead ass. I literally think this is why there are so many blk men occupying the jails lol
And blame everyone else but himself...I have known people like that before.
Yup and end up with several baby mamas, drama - they take ZERO accountability
He is so effing angry, and so is his side guy. How DARE a WOMAN tell me I can't get angry.
And this exactly why bw need to stop putting themselves in these dissimissive and dangerous spaces; it's ’s a waste of time.
Bingo
It was the “you said” that irks me. Like they can’t figure out what she saying. Act mature, control your emotions. Time and place. Who likes to be lied to tho? No one. I get upset too, but that is when emotional maturity kicks in. You let the person know and you walk away. No screaming no yelling no need to get physical. The person lied to your face and you upset, you may be angry but your emotional intelligence will tell you walk away and stay away from that person. Being immature is actually responding in a hateful, vengeful, yelling angry , fighting is not mature and therefore that violent person lacks emotional intelligence. You allowed to be angry, your allowed to be upset, but you not allowed to act like you have total control over the person you angry with and they should see things ONLY your way. These men are SLOW, and not listening and ONLY want to prove themselves right instead of understanding. Sad. Two emotional negative males. Poor girl. 🤦🏽😔
@@sg5720And the worst part is that these two are only examples of a widespread problem. Most men are emotionally immature, even if the they don't respond as outwardly demonstrative as these two. And most of them don't become mature until the second half of their lives, if they mature at all.
My fiancé was listening from the other room and called out, "An emotionally immature man is a danger to himself and society."🤣🤣
WORD.
Period shout out to your fiancé 💯
👍👍👍👍
Periodt!
You got yourself a Keeper, Sis! Congrats and Shoutout to your fiance for speaking FACTSSSSS
This is so exhausting I couldn't keep going back and forth like this.
Me 2
I could not take it either. I would not go back and forth with him like this. The podcast episode would be really short 🤣🤣🤣
The way my sympatheic system is set up, I would have walked out.
They are the ones that keep interrupting her.
They are straight gaslighting.
And they also have a comprehension issue as well.
On GOD I would've walked🚶🏾♀️tf OUT!!! 😭
Im only 0:51 in and im overwhelmed lol
"The loudest person loses"---perfect and something these two men do NOT understand.
If you default to anger based on not agreeing with someone, you are emotional immature.
@@thegazetteyt she was angry
Yes, but I think that people going around saying "you are emotionally immature" doesn't help. And the explanation she gave didn't help either, a better way to explain this would be to explain how one can be manipulated by their own emotions. If you react emotionally to other people's opinions or words, THEY are in control of your actions.
@@hellequinm So to you, explaining what someone is isn't helpful because people don't like it? Get all the way out of here with that.
@@MindMelding-t5e No, you are conditioned to think a woman who asserts her point is "angry", because of your limited scope of the nuance in how people conduct themselves.
Its does not matter what she said to counter him, you would see that as her being "angry" because you already attached that label to her.
@@thegazetteyt That's not what I said. If we want people we love to understand what we mean, saying to them that they are immature, we won't get anything from it. But yeah, understand what you want, that's not on me 🤷♀
His posture (and his mouth all out) off the rip is telling me he is not listening, not willing to listen and 100% not emotionally mature.
@@scorpiolady73 shes the one yelling abd getting load
Body language is aggressive and dismissive.
That's exactly what I was thinking. Sitting there with his mouth poked out like an 8y/o😏.
Yep. He's too emotional.
Yess!!
He crashes out so easily...
Emotional intelligence is about how emotions are recognized and handled. Not how you feel.
Hence the reason why he didn't like the definition.
This part!
Exactly..it's about our power to respond, self regulation, and understanding that we are not our emotions
I agree. That includes being allowed to show that anger in your voice. Maybe I missed it, but that distinction was never made. She makes it seem like getting angry at all is immature. She never says, "It's ok to be angry, but not yell and scream."
She even said you don't have to be a robot. But ALWAYS being super calm even when you want to rage (and the key word is always) is unhealthy.
Exactly! I was trying to explain to my seventeen year old niece yesterday that you might not be able to control how you feel about someone or some thing but you are in complete control of how you respond or what you do (or don't do) with the feelings.
At the end he called her a dictator because he was so emotionally immature that he wanted to make her as mad as he was.
However, calling her a dictator shows she is their leader and in control of everything. 😂
He also called her a dictator to try to make her feel bad and back off. Not only is he being emotionally immature, he’s also being emotionally manipulative.
Name calling is a sign of emotional immaturity
The guy tried to bring up to her two kids and she handled that so well
They think kids mean u want act crazy
@@downbad2874Shitting me ! My kids are the reason I act crazy
Especially when she said that her dad was the one that told her about regulating emotions. They weren’t expecting to hear that part either.
@Theworldismine5 😁😁❤️
Getting angry over nothing is NOT managing your emotions. This guy reminds me of Myron from Fresh and Fit. Easily triggered because someone is not telling him what he wants to hear - 🚩.
When he said lie to me
The lack of emotional regulation is crazy. Some children can regulate their emotions better.
@@leehalloway8787 true
@@nekk-ra7080 that's litterally how women are
@@Shay-rx4xu That was all I needed to know.
15:00 “I don’t come out the gate like that.” Guy came right out of the gate like that.
I'm saying 😂😂😂. He flew out the gate.
Like most men, he’s emotionally immature because all of his emotions are expressed as anger. Being annoyed, frustrated, disappointed, or hurt are only displayed thru anger and aggression.
@@BrandiQuin03 please elsborate when got made raised voice snd not try get word in edwise doesn't count because thate own lack logical intelligence
Right, they’re acting as if anger is the only emotion this possess
Her body language when she started wrapping herself up in her sweater I don’t if she doing that to protect herself when they started attacking her.
I noticed that too
She’s showing emotional intelligence.
Literally in the first minute, he's so emotionally immature. 👀Fascinating.
He has a lot Logical intelligence though
@@MindMelding-t5e Proofread your comments before you hit the post button.
😂😂 @@heyhey439
None of what he said was logical, it was just trying to twist what she said or project onto her. Everything he was saying was out of emotion, not logic. Even him saying he's "passionate". Passion requires a heightened state of emotion, so claiming to be passionate as a way to reduce being emotional isn't logical. He's just argumentative and immature.
@@MindMelding-t5eI almost had a stroke trying to read your comment. Get some logical intelligence and get hooked on phonics.
"Never argue with an idiot, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience" - Mark Twain
You can stand up for yourself without being angry.
And more importantly, when you do feel angry, you can feel it without acting on it.
I do it regularly 😂
He said he's just passionate...but if I see him yelling like that in a public setting, I'm assuming he's angry. 😅
If a Woman reacted like that she’d be labeled as irrational and emotional.
He is giving other people power over his personal emotional state. Emotional maturity is having control of your own emotions.
15:30 so this is the type of thing abusers say. "You made me have an emotion, so I have the right to respond violently, it's your fault that I can't control my emotions." I hope he didn't trigger a trauma response for anyone else.
Narcissists aren't capable of emotional maturity.
Glad I’m not the only one whose neck prickled at that point. I didn't see your comment until after noting that remark about 15:00. “I didn’t come out of the gate like that”. He came out of the gate exactly like that, the moment he heard the words “emotional maturity”.
Reply
I was so annoyed!
Emotional immaturity is an ego issue
YEP, an ego issue and usually a complex trauma issue. People who lack emotional maturity tend to internalize other people's behavior. It's okay to hurt, but we aren't too internalize it. Long story short , everyone could benefit from the right therapy. Notice the guy said "Because they did it TO me"
That fish mouf he got 😅
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Right! His mouth is stuck on fish like his teeth are too big to carry or something 🤔😭😭
Ikr....he looks and acts mentally challanged🙄
Trout mouth
Yuck mouth
Neither one of those men would ever let the woman finish a thought without interrupting. Talk about "disrespectful"!
PS When a woman sees a man "just moving his hands," it can trigger fear, because soon those hands could be coming after her.
And then had the nerve to be like "I raised my voice because you're interrupting me". They were interuppting her the whole time yet she stayed calm
She said “not talking things personally”
Dude “Aaaaand I took that personally”
Both of those guys don’t seem to even want to understand.
So ironic that they keep refusing to har her point that you can deal with someone lying to your face without acting mad - and they tell her SHE is not listening!
They don’t. That one guy literally keeps talking about trying to “get a bar off”. 🙄 He’s definitely listening to respond.
Because they have to be right at all costs.
They’re so argumentative
Listening and Reading Comprehension are lost arts
I don't know why this woman bothers listening to these two boys yelling at her when they can't even get stuff that most people learned in kindergarten. They're literally there screaming at her about how she's upset and she's answering in the calmest manner possible, acting like they aren't very clearly visibly and audibly triggered by her merely pointing this shit out to them. If it wasn't true y'all wouldn't be upset, because someone saying a genuinely wrong fact about you is not upsetting - someone telling me I have black hair when I clearly don't is not something I'd get angry about.
Right. She's trying to reason with them but reason only works on the reasonable
She is in the line of fire, and she is completely oblivious... 🫣
It’s a big waste of time to go on a podcast
You can tell how emotionally mature someone is by their body language and tone of voice.
His body language and tone screams, "I'm insecure and underdeveloped but fear for others to perceive me that way, so I'm going to be loud and use anger, intimidation and attempts at domination in order to compensate for my massive insecurity" 💯👀
Tantrum
Well said!
I can tell he was insecure just off the way he looks
What did he mean that he is being lied to in the beginning?
Boom
If tolerating a certain level of disrespect wasn't a useful strategy, Black women wouldn't be holding high corporate positions.
Clearly it's a form of calculation and self discipline... He doesn't get it.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Unfortunately, I think women have also been punished for learning how to adapt to disrespect... At some point it can backfire especially if a woman applies her corporate skills to a romantic relationship.
We should not have to acclimate to disrespect from our intimate partners or family... Not in our homes...
But even so, when disrespect is clocked, cutting ties in silence is the power move... Not tantruming and blowing up.
His whole face irritates me. His neck beard. His chin. His mouth. His beard. His glasses. Everytime I’ve seen a video of him he’s emotional.
Stopppppppp..lol
😂😂😂😂😂 yes omg you can tell his mainly angry just based off how he looks
He reminds me of a cousin who was abused in childhood, who just found his voice in his 30s, now he provokes arguments to assert himself.
@@Adoretayyyythe kind to announce he doesnt like a certain type of woman..in earshot to get a reaction.
@@PhrankBlunt I have two ppl in my life who have exerted this behavior and I have to check them and understand where they are in their journey ❤
He's literally explaining that he doesn't have the (emotional) intelligence to do anything but REACT to what others are doing. He cannot manage his emotions for himself, he just blames other people for whatever emotion he displays. Also...part of the actual definition being read: 'manage emotions *in order to BUILD relationships.' She should have asked him how how anger is building *anything*.
8:52 I'm realising when men say you don't listen they mean you don't agree.
They want her to play along and give in and give up and say they are right
He’s a damn child in an adult body and even though the other one isn’t on screen, he’s the same. They are also trying to purposely agitate her and failing. Emotionally immature men are so stupid.
Right so they can say she's emotionally immature
@Ki3g-u5yright and it wasn’t working that’s why he started name calling at the end and it didn’t work either .
Men who get told REPEATEDLY that they way they speak, act, or inhabit their being is a problem, an emotionally mature man would notice the repetition and begin to ask "can you tell me what is bothering you about this interaction? how is my speech/action/being creating negativity in this moment?" and then STFU and listen. Take in that information then find tools to adjust and grow.
🎯
Exactly. It’s having insight into how you react to things and working on reactions that may be troubling
Yeah the 0.01% of men on the planet 👍🏽 Good job fellas
He can’t. Cause he feel can’t nobody tell him shit. Or he may think your “ Disrespecting him”
he looked like a duck and had immediate annoyance vibe lolol
This!!!!!!
😂😂😂😂😂
He's giving duck lips, real bad!🤭 And the more irritated he becomes, the more Daffy he sounds😂
The 2nd guy telling her she's talking while he's talking as if he hasn't been cutting her off at every sentence 🙄🙄🙄🙄
Everytime I see these videos, I'm so glad that more women are staying single and my circle of single friends are growing. Males are dangerous. This guy is a walking red flag. He's going on the list of guys that we will run from or just call the police. Ladies this list is so long now that I believe we need to create an app. So that when we meet these males we can immediately check to see if their on there and all of the videos and toxic comments they have made.
@@jaqoncee6670 yeah keeping his cool logical question not yelling abd getting loud . Using logical intelligence
@@OzzyDrixClayhe wasn’t being cool.
@@OzzyDrixClaywhich video were you watching?
@@OzzyDrixClay
He didn't keep his cool. He asked questions but didn't listen or try to comprehend the answers, so he was not logical or using "logical intelligence." To be logical, you must be able to listen and comprehend what you read and hear. He was emotional. Anger is an emotion.
@@crptnitewhy do yall respond to bots?
26:32 nobody has let this woman get a sentence off since this discussion started. And both of them jump every time she speaks. So she is now combating two people and these dudes are just trying to win the conversation instead of have a discussion
This is where she should have shut the conversation down and removed herself and explained that she was invited for conversation/debate, not to be attacked and talked over. We need to be more mindful of our time and our safety. We need to stop going back and forth with ppl who are solely in the business of disrespecting and intimidating bw.
Bingo then keep saying things like your upset and why want u let someone talk smh painting a picture
Emotional men
Exactly!!
This is literally how men will gang up on women they don't like. Noticed it since age 10. They can't handle it back though
He is exhausting! 😢 would not engage in a conversation with him period under any circumstances.
@@tiffanytalley1029 its exhausting trying fight to True .we cane with concept of emotional intelligence to cover our own lack logical intelligence
@@tiffanytalley1029 exactly
just like how womyn in these comments b talking to these ai b.o.t.s..wasting time and energy
my comments keep being deleted every time i try to warn womyn
If he continually gets upset when people bring up emotional maturity, he’s fighting his own evolution and healing.
They tried to trigger her into being aggressively angry and disproving her point. They failed. She proved there’s a time and a place for everything. They are consequences to your reactions. She realized the game and stayed true to herself because it really didn’t affect her. That is showing emotional intelligence.
Also with her being a dark skin BW she especially has to pick her battles. No one is coming to help her.
She's jaded on emotion because she's not having a tantrum.
They’re so unintelligent it’s sad
@@SeritaTheresa yes she was
lol exactly. He desperately wanted her to dissolve to the same level.
These dudes are literally playing in this woman's face! The ignorance. 🙄
He seems to be looking for the "gotcha". He isnt in the conversation to come to an understanding. He listening to react and rebuff. There is a desire/need to "win". Communication isn't about "winning". It's about each person walking away from the conversation feeling understood.
If you need to "win", if you think winning is who shuts down the conversation first or shouting down the other person or getting them to say you are right, that is not emotional intelligence. The objective is always to have each person feel understood/heard.
Emotional intelligence doesnt just show up because you have lived experience. It is about examining yourself learning what maladaptive ways you have learned to communicate that shut down growth, what things trigger you into an emotional loop and working on responding in a way that doesn’t lead to trying to manipulate or abuse the other person. It is work you do on yourself. And, for sure, it IS work.
💯💯💯
Absolutely. Very wise take ❤
Very intelligent take, you’re absolutely correct 👍🏽 ❤
🎯💯🎯
💯💯💯
He sounds like DJ Academics
Im 22 years old with no dependents and live my parents. I know better than to get all loud emotional with my boss. I thought was basic knowledge
He talk as if he playing a video game w/ a headset.
Emotional intelligence is categorized in 4 sections: Self awareness, social awareness, self management and relationship management(family, romantic, friendships).
They really need to start requiring licenses before obtaining microphones, and a podcast. Not only is the caveman behind the scenes patronizing and gaslighting her, but the Neanderthal barking on camera doesn't have two brain cells to save his life. Dude's barely coherent. And they need two to take her on. Gross all around.
P.S. "Women are emotional"... but male anger isn't an emotion... FU.
Near the beginning, he said he gets told that he's emotionally immature a lot. That's why he hates to hear it. Instead of figuring it out and doing better he's standing on being a dummy. He also lacks self awareness. He'll probably be 65 acting like this and wondering why no one wants to be around him. His whole prescence is extremely off putting.
He is also incoherent and off a yopper. Nope lol
I must know: what's a yopper? That's the greatest phrase I've heard in a while...
Constantly speaking over her while accusing her of the same, diabolical.
Can they get this guy in therapy and call it a day. He's exhausting and clearly ANGRY. Go find why you're so triggered sir.
He can only access anger.
It's the only emotion he knows how to express.
If he's hurt because someone lies to him? The hurt translates to anger and he feels alright expressing the anger, but never the hurt.
If he's afraid because someone he cares about or relies on lets him down? He expresses the anger, rather than the fear.
He needs to learn how to identify ALL the feelings, and express the ones besides anger as the first and only feeling.
@@YoYo_Ma the anger came from the women
Yup, anger is usually a secondary emotion
🫶🏽
The fact that they are trying to jump her with their flawed logic is nasty work. This is the easiest thing to understand, yet he can not even comprehend it. He is absolutely emotionally immature.
If multiple people keep telling you you're emotionally immature, it's a problem. Even saying out loud, "You getting me mad!" Is something a child would say.
Bruh, didn’t they define what emotionally maturity is at the beginning of this segment? How does he believe that the way he’s acting is regulated and can help him foster healthy relationships? No one wants to deal with this temper tantrum he’s having over something so trivial.
Exactly! That's the issue. He's evidently bringing that into relationships, romantic or otherwise. That lack of growth is detrimental to himself and those close to him.
This guy is way too hype. An emotionally intelligent man would know that speaking to a woman like this comes off as very aggressive and based on what most women and girls have had to endure in their lives, it’s usually very triggering and intimidating. There’s no reason for it. Compose yourself and act like an adult.
Also, anger and shutting down are the two ways men have been conditioned to react. The goal is to explore what real emotion is underneath these reactions and find out how to express THAT. That is emotional maturity. These men have none
These aren't men. Please do not insult actual men by referring to male juvenile adolescents who refuse to grow, learn, mature and evolve as men.
Personally I don't find it intimidating, but annoying and fruitless. It makes me feel so frustrated and like the person is a lost cause. More exhausting than intimidating
@@greywitchwanderer9608 Yeah, it’s extremely draining. In the beginning she mentioned being uncomfortable when men raise their voice around her and I feel she made a good point that this is a violence many women go through that men should be aware of. They literally made zero adjustments and didn’t care.
@@pipperluemany people lack introspection, and ESPECIALLY men. They are energized by pure ego and until they get older and the testosterone lowers they just cant see it.
His first example was “rappers lying about their lifestyle in their songs, piss him off”. He gets pissed off about the slightest perceived disrespect.
They keep saying that she is interrupting them...but it is them that keep interrupting her. Them boys are annoying. If my partner acted like this I would have dumped his a$$.
You have a right to be mad. You can feel however you want. What you dont have a right to do is act out that anger in inappropriate ways. You are emotionally immature if you cant control your emotions. That dude is a petulant child😂😂😂
22:57 if you argue with fools, everybody looks the same.
Those 2 guys weren't listening to her except to try to "gotcha" her. They are too busy defending to hear what she is saying. It's perfectly clear from the outside.
Great screen shot at 11:47. You caught a picture of his real self.
As a mom with ADHD and all 3 of my kids have ADHD because it's hereditary.
We don't have the same access to our prefrontal cortex and cerebellum, so learning and teaching how to be emotionally connected to our thoughts, feelings, and actions. It is super important.
Emotional dysregulation already comes with ADHD.
Both of them are just there to tell her she is wrong . They talk over her every time she speaks. PTSD
She's right. You can see in real time how his self-centered attitude and lack of calmness is blocking him from understanding her and learning. This is why most people rarely grow or self improve.
These guys are failing to realize that having emotional intelligence is preserving their health. Stress k*lls and being emotionally intelligent extends your life. If they want to be emotionally unhealthy, LET THEM. Chronic stress is a known risk factor for heart attacks and strokes. Stop arguing with people that choose to be toxic, let them learn the hard way. Eventually they’ll see why it’s important.
This was a hard watch. The way they are talking to her as she stays calm is showing they don't have maturity. She is not attacking and they feel attacked. She is coming across more powerful, but they want her to lose her cool.
This is why i want to sit down with Richard Reeves and Scott Galloway. Women need to stay away from these men
She is sooo right the loudest one always loses. Especially if we are black women. They already have the bias that we are angry.
It doesn’t matter if we are right. Acting angry and loud automatically leads to humans believing that the quiet one is right or the victim
@@Davian775 she was the loudest
Did we watch the same video? They were yelling at her and she got loud to not be over talked @@MindMelding-t5e
"im not emotionally inmature" then procede to cry over that definition for only god knows how long.
He can’t even have a calm conversation about an opinion that they disagree on. If you are incapable of doing that you are clearly emotionally immature. I would not give someone like this the time of day.
I think the way the angry, emotional guy is able to rationalize his level of response to someone saying something he doesn't like is how most men rationalize even worse responses (i.e., violence, verbal abuse) to things people say to them.
Yea, narcissistic abusers. But you know, we’re all tired of that word. He deflected, reversed, accused and made excuses for his behavior and gave a revision of history. Thats all their specialty. And he went on the attack bringing up her kids which is emotional abuse. He’s checking allllll the boxes
"You're getting me mad" is an emotionally immature statement. That's literally making other people responsible for your feelings and behavior. You are CHOOSING to be mad and then CHOOSING how you behave in that situation.
It’s funny how you mentioned an example that happened to me last week - my supervisor called a meeting with me and the big boss, very last minute and unannounced. Tried to lie on me and fabricate a conversation that never happened- in front of his supervisor! I calmly called him out and was proud of myself for not flipping tables - because he was literally lying and fucking with my paycheck based on his “feelings” that I wasn’t a team player , despite high praise from clients and coworkers for my job performance 😑 why are some dudes like this
They were so damn irritating like they were literally trying to get a rise out of her. They were purposely trying to Agitate her.
I love what her dad said about loud people losing. I spent like 2 yrs watching a lot of reactionary videos, and it was causing me to lose control of myself and get mad and loud because I felt personal over what people would say or do. And it was only recently that I had the realization that ny reaction wasn't helping whatsoever, and wasn't helping people close to me want to be honest about certain opinions near me, because they didn't want me to go off on them.
Glad I’m not the only one whose neck prickled at that point. I didn't see your comment until after noting that remark about 15:00. “I didn’t come out of the gate like that”. He came out of the gate exactly like that, the moment he heard the words “emotional maturity”.
Hell yeah. They make money off you intentionally triggering yourself.
The projection is too real 🤦🏽
Does he know what emotions are?
Does he know what maturity is?
Then he should know.
And that whole, "oh so I'm not emotionally mature since I won't let people walk all over me?" bit was just too much.
Nobody is saying that, sir.
What's more likely is that HE has emotional outbursts when others do no allow HIM to disrespect them, and they told him he was immature so now he projects that back onto them because his ego is too big and narcissistic to ever recognize his own fault.
Guys like that are so beyond repulsive but will never even try to change because they're too busy looking for a woman to blame.
A lot of these men act this way. It's pathetic. I hear bw arguing with dudes like this quite often. We need to know when to stop and let things go.
Fear is usually an underlying factor in anger
In the words of DreamDoll, "talk to me nice or don't talk to me at all". As a person who lives on the 'disrespectful' wavelength, Jordan annoys me and his insistence on raising his voice is triggering. Like bruh, stop talking to me like that or [you fill in the dots] I ain't the one bruh. My emotional maturity is always a work in progress; but I don't play that raising your voice at me, mixed with the aggressive tone, plus gaslighting-nah, I'm good.
That dude is not giving ANY "I'm okay" vibes at all...
His body language shows he isn’t well.
Lol him, "my emotion of choice is anger". Baby that's not a choice, thats the point. If you can't be anything BUT angry, it's not a choice, it's an impulse response you cannot control. You cannot regulate and you are emotionally immature because of that.
A few minutes ago he literally said he was angry and questioned why being angry was wrong and why it made him emotionally immature
Then he said he wasn't angry?? Peak gaslighting. 😂
Emotional maturity is the ability to understand and regulate your emotions. It's an awareness of your current state, knowing your triggers and being able to maintain them in a balanced way. However, we are all human and sometimes we let our emotions get the better of us. The trick is that emotional awareness is a life-long journey where you are constantly striving to better yourself.
I feel the young man is getting angry, both of them are overriding her and not understanding at all what she is trying to say. They are arguing that they have a right to react to disrespect and she is trying to tell them that while you have a right, HOW you respond indicates your current level of maturity.
What someone needs to explain to them is that, if it bothers them so much when others disrespect them, they shouldn't be so disrespectful to others.
People are only giving them back the energy THEY have chosen to put out.
His ego will not allow him to ever become self aware. This woman having a different point of view really got him SPUN OUT. It makes him angry that he can't get this woman to recant her very accurate observation. Also, bringing that type of energy around a calm, erudite woman is some punk-ass behavior. He shows a lack of respect AND empathy.
DENIED🚫
They've read this definition multiple times, but no one has asked if his behavior helps build relationships. If you react that way to everyone over everything, you are constantly raising your cortisol levels and therefore stressed out. Also, this 2V1 is sad to watch. It's easier to gang up on a black woman than it is to listen to what she has to say.
These guys are the reason I leave ny men alone!!!!
The way this triggered me!! I’m so grateful my parents moved me and my siblings out of NY.
Yes they talk a lot , they talk over people and they repeat themselves. Blah
Turns out not being able to explain to other people why your upset say i do all emotional labor are signs of low Emotional intelligence
That KEY WORD is 'regulate'. We all have a range of emotions and we're free to express them. The KEY is to 'regulate' our emotions, ESPECIALLY 'rage', 'aggression' and 'anger. EVEN if someone LIES in your face and you feel triggered inside, the choice to NOT OUTWARDLY EXPRESS YOUR ANGER, 'THAT'S' how you express 'emotional maturity'. This has nothing to do with 'tone policing'. That has everything to do with the receiver of the message to 'regulate their stress, anger, frustration or aggression. A person who lacks emotional regulation is highly likely to be an abuser. The part where she stated her father told her 'the loudest one, loses' is, SPOT ON.
He's immature in every sense.
It affects his ego, so he refuses to be reasonable after that. He can't regulate his emotions after he's triggered by the "disrespect", that's the emotional immaturity.
He claims he is passionate lol
So much for de-escalating the situation. His energy is just like my daughters who's 25 but still behave like she's 15.
What I'm wondering the most here is why tf is this clearly intelligent and emotionally mature woman interviewing this clown like where did she drag him out of and why
She made them look stupid to anyone with a brain
he has heard it forever says it all.