Definitely wish I knew all this in my teens. I'm 50 now and it feels like I let so many narcissistic people steal years of my life. God bless all empathetic people with knowledge as a form of self defense. Thank for helping.
Got out a month ago - at 65 and disabled. Same feeling of a life gone by. However, because life is like a book with many chapters - and I intend to give myself one more. The best one yet! Better days ahead.👍
Spot on , your privacy is the last thing they care about . Whatever they are told is stored and used against you at a later date . Horrible individuals who care only about themselves !
It’s hard to share anything with a person who is so judgmental, likes gossip and only thinking negative thoughts about any situation. Can’t open up to people like that.
@@KAT-dg6el I don't trust people who complain about their spouses. That is smearing them. I stay clear of them. Or when they want your time fast. It's fake.
The narcissist could be driving a brand new Ferrari and you tell them "I just bought myself a used car and it has 100,000 miles on it. Thankfully I've got a car that works now" then the narcissist will be angry that you got success and freedom. They're full of hate and envy.
Spot on, something I’ve noticed the narcissist does to watch out for is if you are sharing something they are interested in (that they can use against you later) is they get really quiet in hopes that you will keep talking and share to much.
Spot on. I didn't know if the attack would come the next day or a couple of months away. It became dangerous to talk freely. I ended up with a speaking problem that my mind would go blank when asked a question. I trained that out in a good personal development course and can public speak freely again. I love these reminders of what I have been through and overcome. Thanks Andrew 🌷
Everything I shared was used against me in some negative way! It was unbelievable how manipulative and evil they became thinking they could shame me and try to make me feel like I was worthless. It's amazing how much you capture everything I've experienced in my last relationship. I learned a lot from you. Thank you ✌️ 💜 😊 🙏
This should definitely be taught in school "LIFE SKILLS" - Don't delay, book your one-on-one coaching session with Andrew TODAY! Life changing for me.... Thanks Andrew
Yes, but he really didn’t know the real me either because I was so beaten down. So now that I’m “Me” again, I’m really a different person!💗. And I love me, enthusiastic, empathetic, encouraging, hopeful and one-of-a-kind ME!
Yes , you over share and where ever they can the narcissist will find a way to use it against you ! Crazy ! Every day I'm so glad that nightmare is Over ! Thank God it's Over 🙏🙏🙏
Yes… I absolutely shared everything with my narcissistic husband from the very beginning of our relationship and subsequent marriage. He has consistently weaponised everything I’ve ever told him and also to others throughout our 22 year marriage. I no longer care for him or anything he’s disclosed. He’s a liar, a coward and a complete fraud. I look at him now and feel overwhelming relief that I realised the truth about him and moreover became aware of the existence of narcissism. My one triumph in all of this, is the love, care and support of our two beautiful sons. They, and they alone, have made this hellish ordeal worthwhile, and I thank the universe everyday, they’re in my life. Thanks for another great video Andrew. Namaste everyone. 🙏🏽
So true and he walked in on the weakest part of my life when I was deathly sick. He walked in on a chapter when I ran away from everything to heal, not my normal life. In my 30s , My Mom drilled into my head, “ Christine, not everyone who smiles at you is your friend” And “what other people think of you is none of your business”. “ I don’t care anymore”. 🎶. Phil Collins 🥁 👍👍👍😐 Love to all, hope you have a happy day! Andrew, you’re the best. 🙏🏼 ✨♥️🫶
Spouse narc - was my pastor (and studied me and all dynamics longer than I even knew). Family narcs - they knew it all. The narcissists know exactly what they are doing. Then when they want their “fix” after you gray rock or go no contact, they stalk and creep and send their flying monkeys. But did I know then? No. I just knew something was wrong. And felt guilty for feeling that way about people who I thought had my best interest. Meanwhile, they mock and mock. It’s sickening. I think it’s best to live our best lives. Love to all ❤ Be well. Peace in abundance Andrew and all here.
The narcissist in my life would speak fear over every accomplishment. Moved across the country, a major career of success and they would speak these words of fear over what I should be worried about moving forward. And then I would get to that place and feel so much anxiety. It took me a very long time to realize this pattern. I'm no contact with them now And I still have to work through fear every time I move forward. But at least his voice isn't in my head any more. I'm getting braver by the day!
Yes, I did. She was a Mental Health Nurse who I thought I could confide in when I was suffering from depression. Go figure. Stay vigilant guys. These monsters are everywhere.
Uggh. So sad. Im a psychiatric nurse. I fell in love with another nurse at my work. I thought he cared about people. No. Not at all. Horrifying narcissist. He became a psychiatric np. They are in all professions! I am so sorry for your experience. It's especially bad when the narc is in a healing profession.
Mine was an oestheopath and also loved psychology ti "better understand people and himself " ...post relationship I realise he loves studying psychology so he can control and manipulative people and be even more of a powerful evil narc. He is in thaybprofession because he is in control and people his patients will admire him . Its actually scary thinking about it .
@@fian1286 yes, my ex would say things that I didn't understand initially. I absolutely believe he went into the profession to control people. He would laugh and stare at me saying, " I know when you are lying"....then ask a lot of questions and accuse my of lying. It was so exhausting. So thankful to have gotten out alive.
The narc ex knew my past dating history, but was very vague and sketchy about his own. Still doesn't make sense. He knew why and how my past relationship ended, and used that as an excuse to consistently accuse me of having "trust issues" that damaged our relationship.
' Yes , But , the Narcissist also ' Hides behind a Mask ' , they don't promise ' anything ' then ' DON'T Owe You anything ' ! ❤️ ! " Responsibility Matters for ALL Lives " !
Variation on the theme. My last narcissistic "friend" never asked about me, it was always only about her and her problems. Since I had not understood yet that I was dealing with yet another narcissist, I kept wondering about the one-sidedness of our relationship. I finally told her that even after five years she hardly knew me, so I wanted to share an important story of my life with her, did she want to hear it? Yes, yes, she would...when would I come to visit? I had to travel a few hours to see her. When we sat down, she said: "Actually, there is a big problem that I need to talk to you about...". Knowing that it is always the same problem, five years by now, I almost flipped!! How could she do this to me? Not again, I thought. I insisted on telling her my story from the past, as we had agreed on, a truly heartbreaking and amazing story. Afterwards I was pretty exhausted, shaken actually. It had been so vivid in my mind and my retelling of it. Then she said: "O.k. now it is about my problem...". I was so stunned, I just sat there for another hour and let her rattle it off. What nerve! What insensitivity! What self-centeredness! For me this was the beginning of the end. The friendship ended when I said I did not want to hear about her "problem" anymore. I got discarded immediately. Silent treatment, treated like thin air. The whole picture got clearer (and through it, I discovered this channel!) I don't think there is a danger that she will still remember my story, it was not about her life, so it passed her by and was forgotten immediately. Especially now that the relationship is over. But yes, very true, be careful who you share things with, it will be used later on, I know that too, very, very painful....The sound of the rain was lovely. And what a great smile at the end, Andrew! Thank you.
I had a friend just like this, she was my maid of honor in my 2nd marriage she treated me like crap while planning then once I married our friendship fizzled she rarely called and when she did and I wld share what I was going thru yes she would make it about her it was like competition she’s been with a good man for 25 yrs but she always wld bring up her X from 30 yrs ago, then wld only focus on the home I lost due to my toxic husband, iv lost every relationship I ever had once I married and now 18 yrs later I’m being thrown away like I’m a nobody, my job of raising his son is almost complete and he took everything from me and destroyed my life, he gets to move on like nothing happened he’s a true sick individual and I’m glad to b rid of him!!
Some people just want to dominate. But they know they can't get away with it so they have to sneak in the one-sidedness. Next thing you know you're in a situation like yourself like I've been and you finally just have to say "I can't take it anymore." Good job at holding her to minimal standard of communication there at the end
@@KAT-dg6el self centred people will listen to what you've said, although they want to bring the focus back to themselves. It sounds like this friend didn't even listen to a word OP said and never had (therefore are a narcissist)
@@KAT-dg6el The "friend" certainly sounds like one to me, too. Besides we aren't here to debate about what the OP recognized & dealt with. We are here for moral support not invalidation. We've all had too much of that already.
This is so true and accurate 🌈🌈FatherGod I pray that you bless everyone connected to this video and that you help all of us to learn from our mistakes I pray that you return our virtue to us and everything that been stolen from us lord for your word declares when you catch a thief they must repay 7 fold I pray in the mighty name of JESUS 🌈🌈
I went 100% no contact, FINALLY; blocked every channel possible. I have a plan B if any of my blockades is defeated; paper trail, legal system; I won't let that person back into my life without a fight to keep me safe from their harm. Thank you so much for your videos, they're very informative, and helpful to many. God bless 🙌🕊✨️
I was narcissistically abused and I’m now almost a year free……I wonder, is it natural to be on edge most times going out in public or say because I frequent places the narcissist goes because we aren’t too far apart even though I’ve gotten out and have been no contact for almost a year. Also when I told the narcissist I was moving to my own apartment they wanted me to stay with my mom or they wouldn’t see me(this took place a few months after I left.) now almost a year later my anxiety and depression is worse and I’m counting the days till I’m no longer in this small town.
Great share! I , also moved not far from where my narc lives 11 months ago. No contact. Blocked and no more flying monkeys. I still have anxiety and anger come up when I'm in that neighborhood . I stopped shopping at stores that I might make contact, because the anxiety was too great each time. We will gain our wits and heal. This I believe,with huge thanks to Andrew! I, too can't wait to just move towns. In the meantime, I wish you the very best, always!🌿
Hi Ms. Emily, isn't this site just the best? And everyone on here! I think there's hope for us! They said we weren't alone! That in itself made me feel better! I hope we can make it out! Maybe with a little help from our friends here! I saw a little light today because of this place, haven't seen it in 28 years! We can get out of this, let's come here where people understand and don't judge at All! I'm praying 🙏 for you!!!
@@gypsy6469 it indeed is a good place……thankfully I am in a healthy relationship now, being away from the narc for almost a year now is the best feeling
When me and my narc when to counseling, she secretly recorded the session so she could use it in court later. Fortunately, I saw what she was up to and decided to end the meeting early. I want to say that going to a counselor is a JOKE unless that counselor has suffered NARC ABUSE IMO. They have no clue what the narc is capable of.
I got so lucky when I found a free counselor at the university. I mean, free, first counselor I sought. I went because I was so miserable in narc spouse's abuse cycle myself. The one time my then husband showed up for a session he almost immediately launched into a tirade & was shown the door. But, yes, I agree that many times going to counseling is just revictimizing.
Four marriage counselors in 48 years of marriage and none who recognized what he is. All had their own radical problems and shouldn’t have been counseling couples. All made me out as the problem because in the private interviews he had with them before sessions, he convinced and conned them it was. Made me desperate and want to end it all. Finally he was tested and BINGO, covert narc. Narcs are cons and they dupe your average therapist with a snicker or a wink and a nod.
Hi Ms. Kathryn, oh my, I found this place today, Sir Andrew is very smart and he sure knows how to make people feel better. I'm so sorry for your hurt.❤
I do so understand, and I have learned who to share things with and who not to. It is a hard lesson to learn but remember that everything that you have experienced has helped make you the person you are today, and you can use those experiences to make you a better person. I was married to a narcissist for 20 years and that was quite an experience that was both good and bad for me. My son is now married to a narcissist. He has no contact with me because of her, but I understand the monster she has turned me into. I am here for him, when the time comes because the time always comes with a narcissist. Their pattern of behavior is too common between them all. I just hate that he has to go through this because of my initial exposure to his step father.
My heart goes out to you Mary regarding your son. I hope and pray that he will eventually see the light and make his way back to you. Those narcs are so clever and so insidious. They really do always have an expiry date though. God Bless🙏☀️🌷
It is exhausting trying to not share private info with a narc. They will always use it against you and have a hold over you. Best not to say anything imo
I'm learning this lesson late but I know better know. My estranged narc husband used the fact that my upbringing without my father was the reason why I wasn't allowing him to see our daughter. When in fact the truth is he's allowed his own behavior to limit his contact and refusal to access help that he needs to see her.
I'm going on seven months at my job.Its a miracle. Made myself untouchable, never shared with the coworkers. They can't involve me in anything. The glares! They showed themselves early. I can see their envy everyday. I pray for my job, for God to shut their mouths. I carry myself with my shoulders back, and a back off look on my face. I don't SPEAK to them, they won't speak to me. 🤣 I just got hired in, and that totally ruined them. It shows people like me, and they are the ones not friendly with me. The lady who started a day after me, got involved with a coworker, they had a domestic incident, she threatened the person who was running her mouth about her, she is still trying to get hired in, three weeks later than me. I told her, coworkers are not your friends. So they made up stuff about me to change others perception of me. Oh well, whatever is not true, don't care. They can't get me fired by saying I said or did anything to them. Great message! I had to work in the same building as them today. The frowns, and the looks. I befriended a lady that they refused to talk to for no reason. It destroys their perception of her. And....I am very good at my job. And my attendence is excellent. Performance review: Thanks for your contribution. They stand out more than ever. We are on camera too. I'm going to start smiling, waving at them. 🤣
Hi Andrew. Thinking back, of course he knew where I worked, he new a couple "personal" things about me, and to be honest, he knew my family did NOT like him at all! He had no friends. Not one buddy! He never complimented me at all. I can tell you things that u cannot put on line. He was a jerk! I knew very little about him except he was spoiled rotten! He treated his family like trash. Hey, I was blind in love. He never even offered to pay for dinner except for my birthday. He was more interested in money than a human being. Future faking me was the best thing he pulled on me. Got the ring in a CRACKER JACK BOX! Great topic, Andrew...❤️💙
It's what has kept me in turmoil for years... I thought I could trust my sister and oh how wrong I was. I'll spend the rest of my life forgiving myself.
Oh, Heather, I never shared anything with my youngest Sister. But she knows more about me than I know about myself. The rest of the family is convinced of her stories! She lives eight hundred miles away! We have had one "conversation" in fifty years! I just wish she would write it all down and send it to me so I could turn it into a best selling novel or hit movie and use the profit for retirement. Wouldn't that be useful! So the less we say, the better, for sure. But even nothing can turn into something. Just continue to be your own BEAUTIFUL self and "Let the birds sing!" They only entertain themselves!
Definitely, yes! in the beginning I thought it was so he could truly understand me and know where I was coming from. NOPE! It was so he could use my fears against me as well as my pet peeves. More things I don’t miss about him 🤷♀️ _Great_ video today, Andrew! 😁 Sorry I’ve been late all over the place today 😛 Hope you enjoyed your weekend, handsome! XO 😘💋🤗❤️☀️ Love you! My friends, I hope you all had a WONDERFUL weekend as well! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ y’all!!!
Yes this video was a really good reminder of what we have been through. It was shocking for me to get regularly attacked on a small comment I might have made days to months ago. He could twist anything I said into a criticism and how did he even remember those comments. I am glad you are free now 🧚♀️
' People do these ' mean ' tactics alot ' ! ' They find joy in your Faults & Competition in an empty Self ' ! ❤️ ! " Responsibility Matters for ALL Lives " !
Awhile ago my sister said I should stop watching narcissistic videos. Because they are making me worse. Lol. I told her I need to watch more! Right on Andrew, thank you!
One of the things that hurt me so much was, I exposed my soft underbelly... And at some point it was always used against me... My insecurities.. my deep fears... Even personal things she and I shared in the bedroom... (Nothing disgusting or immoral)... But still things that hurt when used against me. I feel like that was another level of betrayal. She led me on to believe that being open was good... I do agree... But deep down, I knew how she was when she was mad and I paid for it every time.
I had relatives and frenemies like that. They will debilitate you. They are envious insecure creeps. It's degrading and they intentialy plan on how to hurt and degrade you. I know because I had dealt with abusive relatives and their contacts for decades. Best thing is to develop high self worth and have kind respectful bright people around. Secretly plan to move far away from the turds and their dumping ground. Throw out or give away all old electronics. Get new everything. Move far away. Look after yourself first.
I totally understand...My x husband told me yesterday "that's why your mother abandoned you when you were 8 years old" ....They use things that are really personal and they laugh about it and try to hurt you with it ....
@@mamitalinda3915 Yes, the laugh really hurts when they believe they "Gottcha!" Even when the whole thing is clear! It always left me unresponsive. I don't know if that was best or not. I'll learn that somewhere here, too. Andrew is a TREASURE I've discovered!
Great subject Andrew. What I can say about my story is that I was raised by a narcissistic mother and an empath father. You have to tell everything because that is how the narc parent can control your life. I used to be a person who was an opened book. And it got me in many unpleasant situations. The narcs are vindictive. So the small and insignificant information they will use it against you. I had many encounters with narcs over the years. Mostly jealous people that did not want me to succeed in life. Starting with my mother and brother and along the way, people at work. But NO MORE. This is my time to shine and nobody will stop me to live my dreams. Thank you Andrew for the video and i wish you to live your dreams too. 😘♥♥
Hey, me, too with the narc mom/empath dad FOO dynamic. In my 30s I went to counseling, my mother was firmly against it. She called that evening and grilled me on my session. Enjoy your time going round & round the Sun.❣☀😺🕊
@@lishik7712 Hi, Lishi, i am not surprised your mother tried to convince you not to go because narcs always fear to be discovered. And that we find out who they really are. My mother always feared me and tried to control me . Thanks for your message and be happy you deserve it. 🤗🙌💜
@@LisaPeterson227 Hi Lisa, I tried to find it, but I don't see it even when I changed the filter to the more recent one. I really want to read your comment, but it is not working. Please tell me what you wanted me to read. Thanks. 🙄
Thank you Andrew. I have started a painting of one of the flowers you photographed. It is the heart shaped reddish orange flower. I am doing this despite treading deep murky waters and in spite of the abusers.❣️❣️❣️🙏🙏🧡
Andrew, you really hit the sweetspot with your videos. The length, your intro, your authenticity. You go straight to the core and the fact that you make a video every day feels so supportive. Amazing work, I hope you keep doing it for a while 🧡 Thank you for sharing yourself in this way. It’s so so helpful.
He learned of a very specific and painful traumatic situation in my life right when he met me. He used that as ammo to artificially force a connection pretending he felt the same way about it as me, and operated in the same way. Then, at the end of the relationship, he said that situation made me "too intense" and "too much" for him.
"Woah! You got a little too happy there!" Haha. Btw you do look great today, you seem to have a little extra spring in your step 🥰 Be careful not to get too happy Andrew 🤪🙏
Over sharing lead to my ex partner using my vulnerability against me during couples therapy. I was so shocked that she did that, I couldn’t even talk. But I’m glad I found this channel as a resource to help me recover.
Good topic once again Andrew . Well I did share everything with the narcissist my fears my likes and dislikes. I am just like that I don't hide anything from anyone really. But with the narcissist especially because I thought we were together in a relationship. But he really did use it against me every chance he got. So now I'm learning to be careful about who I share my life with. I have started to try and make new friends but it's slow going. Also I don't know if will ever find someone that really loves me for who I am. Thanks everyone and blessings and stay strong.
It's true, we all want to love and be loved. I learned long ago that I am only able to love in one direction: from the inside out. That's the ONLY love I am responsible, and able to give. I focus on that. If it comes back, from the outside in, I am GRATEFUL. Everyday I bask in the SOURCE of LOVE, my Eternal Father. He has more than enough to supply me in this life and for eternity. Amazing! Since that realization, I have never FELT unloved, abandoned or alone. I do confess that SOMETIMES it is good to "see God with skin on!" That is why we have each other! This is a good place to find some "skin"! Being that I am an old lady, alone on a farm, there are times I need God with "skin and muscle". I do miss having that source since being widowed, but it doesn't disturb my peace - just infernally inconvenient!
Andrew I lived decades with a narcissist. He knows quite-a-bit about me, but I don’t care. I’m older now and think different. I remember that the narcissist one day did mention to me that I would never know him! WRONG! I know how a narcissist mind works now, and they certainly do want to get enough information from you to try to destroy you. It didn’t happen! Before I exited he wanted me to feel sorry for him. He told me “I’m old Zulema.” Who cares we’re all going that way. He didn’t take care of himself and he certainly never cared about me. I found a few great quotes: “If you respect yourself, you will respect others.” “If we have reverence for God, we will have respect for one another.” “Treat people how you want to be treated instead of how they treat you.” “It's easier to treat people properly than to repair broken relationships.” Anonymous. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS SAYS! Great teaching Andrew! Enjoy your evening! Take care good friend!
The narcissist I was married to had a very religious background and would constantly tell me that " you treat others the way you would want to be treated". In the end, I told him that he taught me how he wanted to be treated by the way he treated me. It didn't go over well, but it sure was the truth. He lied so much to me and after we separated, he would ask me questions that were none of his business and I would tell him anything to shut him up. It wasn't quite right, but he caught me in a few lies and was incredulous about them! The nerve, after he did nothing but lie to me. I really don't condone lying, but i am guilty of lying to him, after the fact.
"Whoa, .. you got a little too happy there!" 🤣 I'm laughing because it's so true. Love you, Andrew! Thank you for always being so spot on, so true to us, and so relatable that it's scary! Lol Ps.. hair looks great! 👍
I have a friend since childhood who I have a hobby of taking out for dinner to have a small chat about life. This person is so pure, so kindhearted, a true empath, and he said one thing to me last time we were having dinner together. "You know, Lenny... Life is a paradise, but if you let some snakes in, they will try and turn it into a prison!" Wise words, Narcs love imprisoning people mentally, physically or both, that's what they live for, those tragic poor devils. I've had a couple of narcs in my life, that's why we were talking about it and that's why I'm watching your videos and other interesting ones that can help me and other people understand how to make them unable to lock us up. Take care
great one Andrew, when you've been burnt enough times you become guarded, but you will still give up testimony trying to save another pain and then ironically that individual will probably weaponize it against you, one can never be fully protected against the narcissist unless you become inhuman.
I told him I wanted a serious relationship and a commitment, he used that as a weapon against me and mirrored me. He said he was just like me. He said he "didn't believe girls like me still existed." But then he went out and damaged me, so there's one less. He pursued me so heavily before we entered a relationship. He said, "I know it's early, but I feel this is right" multiple times before I was ready to be in a relationship with him. He just wanted me off the market. He said all the right words but his actions rarely aligned.
Day 1 with no contact with my last narc in my life. Now aware of why I suffered so much in my life . Thank you and all the anti narcissist teachers of youtube ☺️☀️☀️☀️
Another great video Andrew ❤️. 100%🎯. I remember the first questions he asked including was my dad still alive, how many brothers and uncles I had….never about the women in the family…I wonder why..😉. He did tell me he had a very good memory and forgets nothing. Listening to him on the mobile to his new victim….he asked everything he asked me. I joked to my friend (of 30+ years) the other day that if she wanted to know anything about me, ask the narc’s ‘friends’…all women, particularly his ‘fave ex girlfriend’, she is the queen bee of his little harem, she knows everything about all of us. I’m sure she keeps notes in a book. However he told me ALL about her, if only she knew and the others as well, he’s the biggest gossip I have ever met. It has taught me to zip my mouth more 🤐🤐 and keep more to myself. He did what you said about putting me in a mood by pushing buttons, he knows I’m passionate about some things, which he ripped apart and told me I was an idiot. He really is evil and he KNOWS it, he takes pride in it, he told me he could be horrible and that he’s very good at it. 😡😡 He doesn’t know I’ve recorded all his rage and tantrums in the last 5 months….that is coercive abuse and it’s a criminal offence here in the U.K.
@@rubyjet8614 at the moment still in the same house. He’s buying me out, his plan all along. Once it’s all sorted I’m off, it will definitely be NO CONTACT.
@@rubyjet8614 all my money is tied up in this house. He told me at one point if only I did what I was told and shut my mouth, everything would have worked out. He doesn’t know any of my plans. 👍
Sharing to much with narc meaning you are giving access of your emotions and showing them way to get in your mind so they can play with it abuse it and leave you frozen in a horrible place with thousands of questions Who is agreed?
@@jannlewandowski5540 When you understand that as I can see in your words clearly that you know that you are wasting your time and emotions on this person then which thing is stoping you to cutt him off from your life as the most precious asset on the plant is time respect it make sure to spend with right people it’s good for you and right people also deserves to be treated in a right way no one deserves physical abuse same way no ones deserves phycological / emotional abuse stay safe and in peace ✌🏻 MAY ALLAH bless you miss jann!!
Andrew, I just think when you love your open but when you’ve been hurt you close. Future relationships, well, just have better boundaries and we will all probably be a little more guarded which is a good thing but that in itself could cause problems because with a new open relationship that new person in your life may feel that could be a barrier. It’s a fine line and Gosh makes things complicated such is the hurt that narc relationships have caused. I think if your in a new relationship you will know and feel that it’s safe to share as we’ve had education and grown x
100% nailed it. I can't believe it's taken decades for me to figure out my brother's game, but finally have over the past 2 years. Any information has been used against me to invalidate & for attempts to antagonise me. The twisting of seemingly innocuous statements has been astonishing. Zero contact nowadays is the only sure way to counter the toxic behaviour.
This brings up REALLY CREEPY stuff! Whatever I shared was weaponized instantly, with his asking what my accomplishments were, and then, immediately contrasting HIS wonderful record, saying mine were NOTHING! But the really super creepiness was: Asking me my dark secrets . Having shared his own...bragging? Looking for SOMETHING to use to later blackmail me, shame me... But...guess what...there was not much to share there. When I finally ditched him, I was VERY careful to not mention any major complaints. My only complaint, that I need to be HEARD..."how about it", was his chance to be the one discarding me...."Well, if that's what I want, then it was time to end the relationship" It was the PERFECT ending. So crystal clear that this was ALL WRONG for me CERTAINLY not bringing up SUPER illegal stuff he confided to me, ( why, intimidation?) that could have threatened my life if he thought I would want to get revenge!!!!! I played sweet and dumb once I decided to get out!!! They are susceptible to "dumb" acts ..always the smart one, in their own eyes
I have learned the hard way to keep good things that happen to me,, ,,,,,to myself,,,,to be very quiet about it and rejoice in private. ! Thanking GOD for the blessing,!,,,!,,,
you just described my "best friend" perfectly...............and when i fully realized she was a wicked to the core psychopath, that is when the healing began.................i learned life lessons i will NEVER forget
Wonderful guy so truthful wish i knew all this information many years ago. I think the world is breeding more narcissists now than ever before, or maybe I am becoming more aware of them. Thank God for loving people in the world, few and far between it seems!
My Mother used to say, ‘Keep Your Own Counsel’.......I wish I’d listened to her.......when I was young the old man who lived next door would say, kind of jokingly, Always learn to ‘Keep Your Big Mouth Shut’.......I wish I had also listened to him. These narcs are everywhere and we can be so much unsuspecting of them and before we know it we have said too much. I have now learned to be very economic with my words.....only with those I now suspect are not respectful but want in such a subtle way all the information they can get out of you. Thank you always Andrew for your very wise words today😊🙌🙏
😛 3:35a.m. … Is Starbucks open yet? Like I say, the cat makes me pay for falling asleep 😖😆 I hope _everyone_ has a FABULOUS day!!! ❤❤❤ Love you ALL!!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗
Yes and they tried to use it against me when I left them, but luckily it didn't do too much damage as they were found out by then to be a complete sociopath
Andrew! This video brought me to another "light bulb moment". The way you described the subject~~"did you share too much....." really hit me as to the definition of narcissist and how they exploit others. Being a good listener, and attracting people who have a need to talk personally, I have tucked away a lot of secrets/sad stories/confessions in the far corners of my memories over the decades. I wouldn't dream of ever divulging any of that information, even though some of the people left me for whatever reason~~~big difference in people like us and narcissists. We listen to offer support and strength, they listen to tear down abd destroy. Wonderful insight Andrew once again, thank you 🌹
Andrew! You are so right! I see my narcissist purposely sabotaging the one thing that I told him that meant something to me. All of his energy is spent trying to get in the way of that success. It's heartbreaking. You are so right!
They'll be on their phone in front of you as if that's more important, its a form of contempt. At the same time its information gathering for them & they're formulating how they can use it against you. As soon as I pick up on it I just start to act obtuse, mark them as a narc & move on, no more time to waste on losers. Another great one Andrew thanks for enlightening us ☺
I told my ex (narcissist) I got a job in the city I moved to after we broke up. She literally called my work 4 different times trying to get me fired, telling them I'm doing drugs, I'm a terrible worker with no ethic.... My bosses were like... what is this girls problem? She used all my money, wants more money, then tries to get me fired from any job I have. I don't even think she knows what she wants.
Hope everyone had a great weekend less than 2 more weeks til we move! Woohoo! Can’t wait! I’m struggling with great amounts of anger lately and that’s not like me. I hope when my husband and I move I can get back to myself again. This isn’t me.
Yes Andrew yes ,Yes I did & all the information questions he used to asked me ,it was like he was writing a freaking book but no more cause & due to when I finally left him completely for good. I don't missed him either ,at all . When the 22 of this month it would be 1 year & 4 months.of completely no contact. Thank you Andrew for you being here with all your videos & all the survivors here with all their comments here & I hoped you & all the survivors here to have a wonderful blessed 🙏 night
My brother Andrew, your love for mankind is real, as your topics are spot on for me in the midst of this storm I'm reminded " if not now, when?". Actionable Intel. Thanks man!
No Andrew I did not share because you know as a super empath we sense things so fast that is what helped me, and your channel has open my eyes even more than I can ever imagine, thanks to you Andrew, I supported him right when I started talking to him, immediately I realise something is not right somewhere so I started paying attention on my instincts and I got him right where I want to got him 💪🙏🏿🙌👍❤❤❤👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋
Good Day Andrew, This is excellent information. You are exactly right. This is hard to hear, but true. There are some truly wicked people in the world. They are walking the planet everyday. Destroying hopes and dreams. Thank you again for your dedication it is truly a blessing.
Another excellent commentary This should be taught in early childhood Trust should be earned not assumed Everything makes sense after listening to yo Andrew❤
Well now that's the truth. I learned the hard way...I told him my dream was to buy property in NC mountains. When I bought my dream mountain property he purchased a property one mile away, within one month. We had broke up 3 years prior to my purching the property. 4 years later he still lives in this town. Lesson learned.
I shared too much info re: my x narc with another female narc and she used that info to destroy me. I really didn't need that because I'm still healing from pancreas surgery and sever blood loss. It's fun to share but vet the person first.
Hi Andrew, thank you for sharing this video, have been slowly working on removing several narcissists from my life and it has been a hard process for me. This video was so helpful, be well.
Hi! Thank you first! I'm going through this right now! It's serious! And getting worse! I just found you, and everything you say is spot on. I just hide all day, but he seeks me out! You're helping give me knowledge! Thank you, I hope there's hope for me to get away!
The lord bless you and keep you he makes his face to shine upon you and he is gracious to you he lifts up his countenance upon you and he gives you his beloved his PEACE 🌈🌈God loves you 🌈🌈
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone WOW, thank you so much, I've never said any of this, I'm so ashamed and humiliated. I thank GOD, I found this site where everyone is so kind and good. I saw a little light today!!. Thank you all!❤
Yes I shared my inner thoughts and feelings, I mean, I thought that’s the way it’s supposed to be my spouse is supposed to be my soul mate my best friend my protector. I didn’t have anything out of the ordinary to share so I’m ok still it burns because I’m usually a very private person it feels like I’ve been sharing my thoughts and feelings with the enemy. Still I regret nothing I learned from this experienced to keep things to myself I was way too trusting had to learn the hard way to keep my mouth shut I regret nothing this experience made me more aware everything happens for a reason 😌 Great video Andrew keep ‘‘em coming 🙏🏽❤️😌
Why would anyone want someone to be in a bad mood? I was always surprised when he said something nice.. I get it - it's all about control and manipulation.. nothing genuine.. just manipulation.. good explanation - I get it more and more..
Yes I did…. He was gathering info …. How devastating these people are…. I’m very grateful to know what I know now… knowledge is power… so is forgiveness…. Forgiveness and letting them go..,, truly want to move forward and never encounter such a person again.
He booked a holiday to Cypress as a surprise, as I once said I would love to go there. I was excited and he waited until the night before, when I’d packed my case, to tell me that I wasn’t going, he was going with his work mates instead.
Sad is the fact you don't think of these things when getting to know people. You don't know if the person will use anything you say against you therefore it creates a wall you don't want to bust through out of fear of this happening. I think its inevitable because I've done this, I've been nervous to share anything since leaving ex-friend because they did weaponize things. Sad these people ruin things for future individuals who can possibly make your life brighter.
They are very jealous and envious of everyone.
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My great grandmother would say "tell your best friend what you would tell your worst enemy." She was so right.
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Ha. Ha! Good one!👍
Wow that is s good one.
That's brilliant advice. I wonder if it was the voice of experience.
Wowwwwww smart grandma
Definitely wish I knew all this in my teens. I'm 50 now and it feels like I let so many narcissistic people steal years of my life. God bless all empathetic people with knowledge as a form of self defense. Thank for helping.
Me, too! I didn't start learning about narcs until my 40s. Until then I was easily preyed upon.
Got out a month ago - at 65 and disabled. Same feeling of a life gone by. However, because life is like a book with many chapters - and I intend to give myself one more. The best one yet! Better days ahead.👍
Hi M V ! My prayers are with you!❤
@@beverlytaylor1745 Hi Ms. Beverly! My how good you have done! Aren't we lucky to have found this site that people understand? GOD BLESS YOU!❤
Welcome ☀️💯🙌
Spot on , your privacy is the last thing they care about . Whatever they are told is stored and used against you at a later date . Horrible individuals who care only about themselves !
Whomever coined the phrase “sharing is caring” clearly has never come across a narcissist in their lives. God bless them! 🙏🏼🕉🌴💪
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@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone Hope you’re having a peaceful day, Andrew 🎼☀️✌️
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Only very few people have your best interest at heart, not even a handful
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It’s hard to share anything with a person who is so judgmental, likes gossip and only thinking negative thoughts about any situation. Can’t open up to people like that.
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@@KAT-dg6el I don't trust people who complain about their spouses. That is smearing them. I stay clear of them.
Or when they want your time fast. It's fake.
Yes, but I don't care now.
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Refinement by fire and I still shine
Yep patsy same here
yeah but at least you had something to share and weren't an empty vessel who preys on others goodness.
me too
The narcissist could be driving a brand new Ferrari and you tell them "I just bought myself a used car and it has 100,000 miles on it. Thankfully I've got a car that works now" then the narcissist will be angry that you got success and freedom. They're full of hate and envy.
Spot on, something I’ve noticed the narcissist does to watch out for is if you are sharing something they are interested in (that they can use against you later) is they get really quiet in hopes that you will keep talking and share to much.
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Spot on. I didn't know if the attack would come the next day or a couple of months away. It became dangerous to talk freely. I ended up with a speaking problem that my mind would go blank when asked a question. I trained that out in a good personal development course and can public speak freely again. I love these reminders of what I have been through and overcome. Thanks Andrew 🌷
Welcome 🙏☀️🙌
Oh my . Everything you are saying is so truth. Thank you so much for educating us. I share way way to much.
Thanks for sharing!!🙏💯🙌
What an immediate red flag.
Such jealousy. I share nothing, and they are clueless. they remain on a negative rampage nonstop
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Everything I shared was used against me in some negative way! It was unbelievable how manipulative and evil they became thinking they could shame me and try to make me feel like I was worthless. It's amazing how much you capture everything I've experienced in my last relationship. I learned a lot from you. Thank you ✌️ 💜 😊 🙏
This should definitely be taught in school "LIFE SKILLS" - Don't delay, book your one-on-one coaching session with Andrew TODAY! Life changing for me.... Thanks Andrew
Yes, but he really didn’t know the real me either because I was so beaten down. So now that I’m “Me” again, I’m really a different person!💗. And I love me, enthusiastic, empathetic, encouraging, hopeful and one-of-a-kind ME!
Yes , you over share and where ever they can the narcissist will find a way to use it against you ! Crazy ! Every day I'm so glad that nightmare is Over ! Thank God it's Over 🙏🙏🙏
Yes… I absolutely shared everything with my narcissistic husband from the very beginning of our relationship and subsequent marriage.
He has consistently weaponised everything I’ve ever told him and also to others throughout our 22 year marriage.
I no longer care for him or anything he’s disclosed. He’s a liar, a coward and a complete fraud. I look at him now and feel overwhelming relief that I realised the truth about him and moreover became aware of the existence of narcissism.
My one triumph in all of this, is the love, care and support of our two beautiful sons. They, and they alone, have made this hellish ordeal worthwhile, and I thank the universe everyday, they’re in my life.
Thanks for another great video Andrew. Namaste everyone. 🙏🏽
Thank you for sharing this 🙏💯🙌☀️
So true and he walked in on the weakest part of my life when I was deathly sick. He walked in on a chapter when I ran away from everything to heal, not my normal life.
In my 30s , My Mom drilled into my head, “ Christine, not everyone who smiles at you is your friend”
And “what other people think of you is none of your business”. “ I don’t care anymore”. 🎶. Phil Collins 🥁 👍👍👍😐
Love to all, hope you have a happy day!
Andrew, you’re the best. 🙏🏼 ✨♥️🫶
Thank you for sharing this 🙏💯☀️😊
Spouse narc - was my pastor (and studied me and all dynamics longer than I even knew). Family narcs - they knew it all.
The narcissists know exactly what they are doing. Then when they want their “fix” after you gray rock or go no contact, they stalk and creep and send their flying monkeys. But did I know then? No. I just knew something was wrong. And felt guilty for feeling that way about people who I thought had my best interest. Meanwhile, they mock and mock.
It’s sickening.
I think it’s best to live our best lives.
Love to all ❤
Be well. Peace in abundance Andrew and all here.
@@ESSIEMARIE1998 yep and a flying monkey I believe just came for a visit. I'm learning. Very interesting and very thankful for our education here.
Thank you for sharing 🙌🙌💯
The narcissist in my life would speak fear over every accomplishment. Moved across the country, a major career of success and they would speak these words of fear over what I should be worried about moving forward. And then I would get to that place and feel so much anxiety. It took me a very long time to realize this pattern. I'm no contact with them now And I still have to work through fear every time I move forward. But at least his voice isn't in my head any more. I'm getting braver by the day!
Continue on the path moving forward everyday 🙌💯🙏
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone I will! Thank you for your encouragement. 🙌
Yes, I did. She was a Mental Health Nurse who I thought I could confide in when I was suffering from depression. Go figure. Stay vigilant guys. These monsters are everywhere.
Uggh. So sad. Im a psychiatric nurse. I fell in love with another nurse at my work. I thought he cared about people. No. Not at all. Horrifying narcissist. He became a psychiatric np. They are in all professions! I am so sorry for your experience. It's especially bad when the narc is in a healing profession.
Mine was an oestheopath and also loved psychology ti "better understand people and himself " ...post relationship I realise he loves studying psychology so he can control and manipulative people and be even more of a powerful evil narc. He is in thaybprofession because he is in control and people his patients will admire him . Its actually scary thinking about it .
@@fian1286 yes, my ex would say things that I didn't understand initially. I absolutely believe he went into the profession to control people. He would laugh and stare at me saying, " I know when you are lying"....then ask a lot of questions and accuse my of lying. It was so exhausting. So thankful to have gotten out alive.
A nurse that's awful breach of trust !
The narc ex knew my past dating history, but was very vague and sketchy about his own. Still doesn't make sense. He knew why and how my past relationship ended, and used that as an excuse to consistently accuse me of having "trust issues" that damaged our relationship.
Same with mine. He probably didn't listen anyway.
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' Yes , But , the Narcissist also ' Hides behind a Mask ' , they don't promise ' anything ' then ' DON'T Owe You anything ' ! ❤️ ! " Responsibility Matters for ALL Lives " !
Variation on the theme. My last narcissistic "friend" never asked about me, it was always only about her and her problems. Since I had not understood yet that I was dealing with yet another narcissist, I kept wondering about the one-sidedness of our relationship. I finally told her that even after five years she hardly knew me, so I wanted to share an important story of my life with her, did she want to hear it? Yes, yes, she would...when would I come to visit? I had to travel a few hours to see her. When we sat down, she said: "Actually, there is a big problem that I need to talk to you about...". Knowing that it is always the same problem, five years by now, I almost flipped!! How could she do this to me? Not again, I thought. I insisted on telling her my story from the past, as we had agreed on, a truly heartbreaking and amazing story. Afterwards I was pretty exhausted, shaken actually. It had been so vivid in my mind and my retelling of it. Then she said: "O.k. now it is about my problem...". I was so stunned, I just sat there for another hour and let her rattle it off. What nerve! What insensitivity! What self-centeredness! For me this was the beginning of the end. The friendship ended when I said I did not want to hear about her "problem" anymore. I got discarded immediately. Silent treatment, treated like thin air. The whole picture got clearer (and through it, I discovered this channel!) I don't think there is a danger that she will still remember my story, it was not about her life, so it passed her by and was forgotten immediately. Especially now that the relationship is over. But yes, very true, be careful who you share things with, it will be used later on, I know that too, very, very painful....The sound of the rain was lovely. And what a great smile at the end, Andrew! Thank you.
I had a friend just like this, she was my maid of honor in my 2nd marriage she treated me like crap while planning then once I married our friendship fizzled she rarely called and when she did and I wld share what I was going thru yes she would make it about her it was like competition she’s been with a good man for 25 yrs but she always wld bring up her X from 30 yrs ago, then wld only focus on the home I lost due to my toxic husband, iv lost every relationship I ever had once I married and now 18 yrs later I’m being thrown away like I’m a nobody, my job of raising his son is almost complete and he took everything from me and destroyed my life, he gets to move on like nothing happened he’s a true sick individual and I’m glad to b rid of him!!
Some people just want to dominate. But they know they can't get away with it so they have to sneak in the one-sidedness. Next thing you know you're in a situation like yourself like I've been and you finally just have to say "I can't take it anymore." Good job at holding her to minimal standard of communication there at the end
@@KAT-dg6el self centred people will listen to what you've said, although they want to bring the focus back to themselves. It sounds like this friend didn't even listen to a word OP said and never had (therefore are a narcissist)
Wow, how invalidating, her total lack of reciprocal empathy! I'm sorry you had to endure such a thing.
@@KAT-dg6el The "friend" certainly sounds like one to me, too. Besides we aren't here to debate about what the OP recognized & dealt with. We are here for moral support not invalidation. We've all had too much of that already.
This is so true and accurate 🌈🌈FatherGod I pray that you bless everyone connected to this video and that you help all of us to learn from our mistakes I pray that you return our virtue to us and everything that been stolen from us lord for your word declares when you catch a thief they must repay 7 fold I pray in the mighty name of JESUS 🌈🌈
🙏 amen
Amen 🙏
Amen. God bless you
AMEN 🙏
I feel like I showed him too much love, he used my love for him as a weapon against me
I understand 💯💯
I went 100% no contact, FINALLY; blocked every channel possible. I have a plan B if any of my blockades is defeated; paper trail, legal system; I won't let that person back into my life without a fight to keep me safe from their harm. Thank you so much for your videos, they're very informative, and helpful to many. God bless 🙌🕊✨️
Same here. The only thing that works ->no contact.
Welcome 🙏
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone Thank you kindly. Hoping you're having a beautiful day! God bless.🙌✨️🕊
I was narcissistically abused and I’m now almost a year free……I wonder, is it natural to be on edge most times going out in public or say because I frequent places the narcissist goes because we aren’t too far apart even though I’ve gotten out and have been no contact for almost a year. Also when I told the narcissist I was moving to my own apartment they wanted me to stay with my mom or they wouldn’t see me(this took place a few months after I left.) now almost a year later my anxiety and depression is worse and I’m counting the days till I’m no longer in this small town.
Sending healing energy and strength 🙏💯🙌
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone thank you! I hope this helps others
Great share! I , also moved not far from where my narc lives 11 months ago. No contact. Blocked and no more flying monkeys. I still have anxiety and anger come up when I'm in that neighborhood . I stopped shopping at stores that I might make contact, because the anxiety was too great each time.
We will gain our wits and heal. This I believe,with huge thanks to Andrew! I, too can't wait to just move towns. In the meantime, I wish you the very best, always!🌿
Hi Ms. Emily, isn't this site just the best? And everyone on here! I think there's hope for us! They said we weren't alone! That in itself made me feel better! I hope we can make it out! Maybe with a little help from our friends here! I saw a little light today because of this place, haven't seen it in 28 years! We can get out of this, let's come here where people understand and don't judge at All! I'm praying 🙏 for you!!!
@@gypsy6469 it indeed is a good place……thankfully I am in a healthy relationship now, being away from the narc for almost a year now is the best feeling
When me and my narc when to counseling, she secretly recorded the session so she could use it in court later. Fortunately, I saw what she was up to and decided to end the meeting early. I want to say that going to a counselor is a JOKE unless that counselor has suffered NARC ABUSE IMO. They have no clue what the narc is capable of.
I got so lucky when I found a free counselor at the university. I mean, free, first counselor I sought. I went because I was so miserable in narc spouse's abuse cycle myself. The one time my then husband showed up for a session he almost immediately launched into a tirade & was shown the door. But, yes, I agree that many times going to counseling is just revictimizing.
Four marriage counselors in 48 years of marriage and none who recognized what he is. All had their own radical problems and shouldn’t have been counseling couples. All made me out as the problem because in the private interviews he had with them before sessions, he convinced and conned them it was. Made me desperate and want to end it all. Finally he was tested and BINGO, covert narc. Narcs are cons and they dupe your average therapist with a snicker or a wink and a nod.
Being invalidated is the story of my life.
You're not alone, Kathryn! And you're awesome!
Hi Ms. Kathryn, oh my, I found this place today, Sir Andrew is very smart and he sure knows how to make people feel better. I'm so sorry for your hurt.❤
I do so understand, and I have learned who to share things with and who not to. It is a hard lesson to learn but remember that everything that you have experienced has helped make you the person you are today, and you can use those experiences to make you a better person. I was married to a narcissist for 20 years and that was quite an experience that was both good and bad for me. My son is now married to a narcissist. He has no contact with me because of her, but I understand the monster she has turned me into. I am here for him, when the time comes because the time always comes with a narcissist. Their pattern of behavior is too common between them all. I just hate that he has to go through this because of my initial exposure to his step father.
My heart goes out to you Mary regarding your son. I hope and pray that he will eventually see the light and make his way back to you. Those narcs are so clever and so insidious. They really do always have an expiry date though. God Bless🙏☀️🌷
@@margaretrussell7202 , thank you. This has been the hardest thing that I have ever faced.
Always talk to them like you’re talking to the Police.....”Always say less then necessary”
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It is exhausting trying to not share private info with a narc. They will always use it against you and have a hold over you. Best not to say anything imo
Hi Louise, you can't even trust someone you love anymore. I didn't know he was a narc anyway. He had no friends either.
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Yep Louise I don't tell any of them shit
I'm learning this lesson late but I know better know. My estranged narc husband used the fact that my upbringing without my father was the reason why I wasn't allowing him to see our daughter. When in fact the truth is he's allowed his own behavior to limit his contact and refusal to access help that he needs to see her.
@@nikiaharvell27 Sounds like a monster I am glad you are free of him 🙏
I'm going on seven months at my job.Its a miracle. Made myself untouchable, never shared with the coworkers. They can't involve me in anything. The glares! They showed themselves early. I can see their envy everyday. I pray for my job, for God to shut their mouths. I carry myself with my shoulders back, and a back off look on my face. I don't SPEAK to them, they won't speak to me. 🤣 I just got hired in, and that totally ruined them. It shows people like me, and they are the ones not friendly with me. The lady who started a day after me, got involved with a coworker, they had a domestic incident, she threatened the person who was running her mouth about her, she is still trying to get hired in, three weeks later than me. I told her, coworkers are not your friends. So they made up stuff about me to change others perception of me. Oh well, whatever is not true, don't care. They can't get me fired by saying I said or did anything to them. Great message! I had to work in the same building as them today. The frowns, and the looks. I befriended a lady that they refused to talk to for no reason. It destroys their perception of her. And....I am very good at my job. And my attendence is excellent. Performance review: Thanks for your contribution. They stand out more than ever. We are on camera too. I'm going to start smiling, waving at them. 🤣
Welcome 🙏💯🙌☀️
Hi Andrew. Thinking back, of course he knew where I worked, he new a couple "personal" things about me, and to be honest, he knew my family did NOT like him at all! He had no friends. Not one buddy! He never complimented me at all. I can tell you things that u cannot put on line. He was a jerk! I knew very little about him except he was spoiled rotten! He treated his family like trash. Hey, I was blind in love. He never even offered to pay for dinner except for my birthday. He was more interested in money than a human being. Future faking me was the best thing he pulled on me. Got the ring in a CRACKER JACK BOX! Great topic, Andrew...❤️💙
Thank you for sharing this 🙏🙌💯😊
It's what has kept me in turmoil for years... I thought I could trust my sister and oh how wrong I was. I'll spend the rest of my life forgiving myself.
Oh, Heather, I never shared anything with my youngest Sister. But she knows more about me than I know about myself. The rest of the family is convinced of her stories! She lives eight hundred miles away! We have had one "conversation" in fifty years!
I just wish she would write it all down and send it to me so I could turn it into a best selling novel or hit movie and use the profit for retirement. Wouldn't that be useful!
So the less we say, the better, for sure. But even nothing can turn into something.
Just continue to be your own BEAUTIFUL self and "Let the birds sing!"
They only entertain themselves!
Yea absolutely great video, they pick ur brain for information , they want to know about everyone else.👍👍💯
Thank you 💯🙏🙌
Definitely, yes! in the beginning I thought it was so he could truly understand me and know where I was coming from. NOPE! It was so he could use my fears against me as well as my pet peeves. More things I don’t miss about him 🤷♀️ _Great_ video today, Andrew! 😁 Sorry I’ve been late all over the place today 😛 Hope you enjoyed your weekend, handsome! XO 😘💋🤗❤️☀️ Love you!
My friends, I hope you all had a WONDERFUL weekend as well! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ y’all!!!
Wishing you a beautiful week Jennifer 🌼🍾🌞🎹🎸🎵🎶🎵
Hey Martha and Leyla!!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗
Jennifer 🙌 🤗🤗🤗🤗
@Mary Olinger Awwww 🙌🤗❤️😊 Love you too Mary!!!
Yes this video was a really good reminder of what we have been through. It was shocking for me to get regularly attacked on a small comment I might have made days to months ago. He could twist anything I said into a criticism and how did he even remember those comments. I am glad you are free now 🧚♀️
' People do these ' mean ' tactics alot ' ! ' They find joy in your Faults & Competition in an empty Self ' ! ❤️ ! " Responsibility Matters for ALL Lives " !
Awhile ago my sister said I should stop watching narcissistic videos. Because they are making me worse. Lol. I told her I need to watch more! Right on Andrew, thank you!
Thanks for sharing!!🙏💯🙌
One of the things that hurt me so much was, I exposed my soft underbelly... And at some point it was always used against me... My insecurities.. my deep fears... Even personal things she and I shared in the bedroom... (Nothing disgusting or immoral)... But still things that hurt when used against me. I feel like that was another level of betrayal. She led me on to believe that being open was good... I do agree... But deep down, I knew how she was when she was mad and I paid for it every time.
I had relatives and frenemies like that. They will debilitate you. They are envious insecure creeps. It's degrading and they intentialy plan on how to hurt and degrade you. I know because I had dealt with abusive relatives and their contacts for decades. Best thing is to develop high self worth and have kind respectful bright people around. Secretly plan to move far away from the turds and their dumping ground. Throw out or give away all old electronics. Get new everything. Move far away. Look after yourself first.
I totally understand...My x husband told me yesterday "that's why your mother abandoned you when you were 8 years old" ....They use things that are really personal and they laugh about it and try to hurt you with it ....
@@mamitalinda3915 Yes, the laugh really hurts when they believe they "Gottcha!"
Even when the whole thing is clear! It always left me unresponsive. I don't know if that was best or not. I'll learn that somewhere here, too.
Andrew is a TREASURE I've discovered!
Great subject Andrew. What I can say about my story is that I was raised by a narcissistic mother and an empath father. You have to tell everything because that is how the narc parent can control your life. I used to be a person who was an opened book. And it got me in many unpleasant situations. The narcs are vindictive. So the small and insignificant information they will use it against you.
I had many encounters with narcs over the years. Mostly jealous people that did not want me to succeed in life. Starting with my mother and brother and along the way, people at work. But NO MORE. This is my time to shine and nobody will stop me to live my dreams. Thank you Andrew for the video and i wish you to live your dreams too. 😘♥♥
@@ESSIEMARIE1998 thanks Martha. I raise my glass to you too. Have a great evening. 😉💯🍾🥂
Hey, me, too with the narc mom/empath dad FOO dynamic. In my 30s I went to counseling, my mother was firmly against it. She called that evening and grilled me on my session. Enjoy your time going round & round the Sun.❣☀😺🕊
@@lishik7712 Hi, Lishi, i am not surprised your mother tried to convince you not to go because narcs always fear to be discovered. And that we find out who they really are. My mother always feared me and tried to control me . Thanks for your message and be happy you deserve it. 🤗🙌💜
Read my comment at the top about coworkers.
@@LisaPeterson227 Hi Lisa, I tried to find it, but I don't see it even when I changed the filter to the more recent one. I really want to read your comment, but it is not working. Please tell me what you wanted me to read. Thanks. 🙄
Thank you Andrew. I have started a painting of one of the flowers you photographed. It is the heart shaped reddish orange flower. I am doing this despite treading deep murky waters and in spite of the abusers.❣️❣️❣️🙏🙏🧡
God bless you 🌈🌈yes I love his flowers too I think I’m gonna paint the red one he did today thank you for inspiring me with your comment🌈🌈
@@richardfrank4647 My pleasure Richard Frank. 🥰🙏
Welcome 🙏💯☀️
The one thing I wouldn't share with a narcissist is my phone number they have to earn my phone number
😉😉💪💯
Andrew, you really hit the sweetspot with your videos. The length, your intro, your authenticity. You go straight to the core and the fact that you make a video every day feels so supportive. Amazing work, I hope you keep doing it for a while 🧡 Thank you for sharing yourself in this way. It’s so so helpful.
Welcome always 🙌☀️😊
He learned of a very specific and painful traumatic situation in my life right when he met me. He used that as ammo to artificially force a connection pretending he felt the same way about it as me, and operated in the same way. Then, at the end of the relationship, he said that situation made me "too intense" and "too much" for him.
I understand completely 🙌🙏💯
And unfortunately you met a narc. Fortunately you got rid of him!
"Woah! You got a little too happy there!" Haha. Btw you do look great today, you seem to have a little extra spring in your step 🥰 Be careful not to get too happy Andrew 🤪🙏
Awe thank you 😊🙌
Happy is good on you Andrew
Over sharing lead to my ex partner using my vulnerability against me during couples therapy. I was so shocked that she did that, I couldn’t even talk. But I’m glad I found this channel as a resource to help me recover.
Thank you for sharing this insight 🙌🙏💯
Good topic once again Andrew . Well I did share everything with the narcissist my fears my likes and dislikes. I am just like that I don't hide anything from anyone really. But with the narcissist especially because I thought we were together in a relationship. But he really did use it against me every chance he got. So now I'm learning to be careful about who I share my life with. I have started to try and make new friends but it's slow going. Also I don't know if will ever find someone that really loves me for who I am. Thanks everyone and blessings and stay strong.
It's true, we all want to love and be loved.
I learned long ago that I am only able to love in one direction: from the inside out. That's the ONLY love I am responsible, and able to give. I focus on that. If it comes back, from the outside in, I am GRATEFUL.
Everyday I bask in the SOURCE of LOVE, my Eternal Father. He has more than enough to supply me in this life and for eternity. Amazing! Since that realization, I have never FELT unloved, abandoned or alone.
I do confess that SOMETIMES it is good to "see God with skin on!" That is why we have each other! This is a good place to find some "skin"!
Being that I am an old lady, alone on a farm, there are times I need God with "skin and muscle". I do miss having that source since being widowed, but it doesn't disturb my peace - just infernally inconvenient!
Andrew I lived decades with a narcissist. He knows quite-a-bit about me, but I don’t care. I’m older now and think different. I remember that the narcissist one day did mention to me that I would never know him! WRONG! I know how a narcissist mind works now, and they certainly do want to get enough information from you to try to destroy you. It didn’t happen! Before I exited he wanted me to feel sorry for him. He told me “I’m old Zulema.” Who cares we’re all going that way. He didn’t take care of himself and he certainly never cared about me. I found a few great quotes: “If you respect yourself, you will respect others.” “If we have reverence for God, we will have respect for one another.” “Treat people how you want to be treated instead of how they treat you.” “It's easier to treat people properly than to repair broken relationships.” Anonymous. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS SAYS! Great teaching Andrew! Enjoy your evening! Take care good friend!
The narcissist I was married to had a very religious background and would constantly tell me that " you treat others the way you would want to be treated". In the end, I told him that he taught me how he wanted to be treated by the way he treated me. It didn't go over well, but it sure was the truth. He lied so much to me and after we separated, he would ask me questions that were none of his business and I would tell him anything to shut him up. It wasn't quite right, but he caught me in a few lies and was incredulous about them! The nerve, after he did nothing but lie to me. I really don't condone lying, but i am guilty of lying to him, after the fact.
@@ESSIEMARIE1998 YW!
Yep...was told, "they'll find you wherever you go" & I just said, I really don't think they want to do that ❣️💯 Don't really care wtf they think 😇💕
"Whoa, .. you got a little too happy there!" 🤣 I'm laughing because it's so true. Love you, Andrew! Thank you for always being so spot on, so true to us, and so relatable that it's scary! Lol
Ps.. hair looks great! 👍
😊😊🙌
Hi Andrew from Beautiful Costa Rica ! We r following u like the True North Star.....who will always guide us with Love & Light
☀️☀️😊
I have a friend since childhood who I have a hobby of taking out for dinner to have a small chat about life. This person is so pure, so kindhearted, a true empath, and he said one thing to me last time we were having dinner together. "You know, Lenny... Life is a paradise, but if you let some snakes in, they will try and turn it into a prison!" Wise words, Narcs love imprisoning people mentally, physically or both, that's what they live for, those tragic poor devils.
I've had a couple of narcs in my life, that's why we were talking about it and that's why I'm watching your videos and other interesting ones that can help me and other people understand how to make them unable to lock us up. Take care
Thank you for sharing this 🙏🙌☀️
great one Andrew, when you've been burnt enough times you become guarded, but you will still give up testimony trying to save another pain and then ironically that individual will probably weaponize it against you, one can never be fully protected against the narcissist unless you become inhuman.
Thank you 🙏
I told him I wanted a serious relationship and a commitment, he used that as a weapon against me and mirrored me. He said he was just like me. He said he "didn't believe girls like me still existed." But then he went out and damaged me, so there's one less. He pursued me so heavily before we entered a relationship. He said, "I know it's early, but I feel this is right" multiple times before I was ready to be in a relationship with him. He just wanted me off the market. He said all the right words but his actions rarely aligned.
I understand completely 🙌🙏💯
Day 1 with no contact with my last narc in my life. Now aware of why I suffered so much in my life . Thank you and all the anti narcissist teachers of youtube ☺️☀️☀️☀️
Welcome always 💪☀️💯🙏
Another great video Andrew ❤️. 100%🎯. I remember the first questions he asked including was my dad still alive, how many brothers and uncles I had….never about the women in the family…I wonder why..😉. He did tell me he had a very good memory and forgets nothing. Listening to him on the mobile to his new victim….he asked everything he asked me. I joked to my friend (of 30+ years) the other day that if she wanted to know anything about me, ask the narc’s ‘friends’…all women, particularly his ‘fave ex girlfriend’, she is the queen bee of his little harem, she knows everything about all of us. I’m sure she keeps notes in a book.
However he told me ALL about her, if only she knew and the others as well, he’s the biggest gossip I have ever met.
It has taught me to zip my mouth more 🤐🤐 and keep more to myself.
He did what you said about putting me in a mood by pushing buttons, he knows I’m passionate about some things, which he ripped apart and told me I was an idiot.
He really is evil and he KNOWS it, he takes pride in it, he told me he could be horrible and that he’s very good at it. 😡😡
He doesn’t know I’ve recorded all his rage and tantrums in the last 5 months….that is coercive abuse and it’s a criminal offence here in the U.K.
Thank you for sharing this message ☀️🙌💪💯🙏
@@rubyjet8614 at the moment still in the same house. He’s buying me out, his plan all along.
Once it’s all sorted I’m off, it will definitely be NO CONTACT.
@@rubyjet8614 all my money is tied up in this house. He told me at one point if only I did what I was told and shut my mouth, everything would have worked out. He doesn’t know any of my plans. 👍
Sharing to much with narc meaning you are giving access of your emotions and showing them way to get in your mind so they can play with it abuse it and leave you frozen in a horrible place with thousands of questions
Who is agreed?
💯💯
Jazbatt, I gave him a few things, but he didn't seem to care anyway so the hell with him. He has no friends anyway.
@@jannlewandowski5540
When you understand that as I can see in your words clearly that you know that you are wasting your time and emotions on this person then which thing is stoping you to cutt him off from your life as the most precious asset on the plant is time respect it make sure to spend with right people it’s good for you and right people also deserves to be treated in a right way no one deserves physical abuse same way no ones deserves phycological / emotional abuse stay safe and in peace ✌🏻
MAY ALLAH bless you miss jann!!
I'm glad I didn't share alot. What I shared, he threw it back. I'm glad I was guarded. My spirit kept telling me don't.
Andrew, I just think when you love your open but when you’ve been hurt you close. Future relationships, well, just have better boundaries and we will all probably be a little more guarded which is a good thing but that in itself could cause problems because with a new open relationship that new person in your life may feel that could be a barrier. It’s a fine line and Gosh makes things complicated such is the hurt that narc relationships have caused. I think if your in a new relationship you will know and feel that it’s safe to share as we’ve had education and grown x
100% nailed it. I can't believe it's taken decades for me to figure out my brother's game, but finally have over the past 2 years. Any information has been used against me to invalidate & for attempts to antagonise me. The twisting of seemingly innocuous statements has been astonishing. Zero contact nowadays is the only sure way to counter the toxic behaviour.
I shared way to much...I truly wish I didn't! It's sad that people are this way.
This brings up REALLY CREEPY stuff!
Whatever I shared was weaponized instantly, with his asking what my accomplishments were, and then, immediately contrasting HIS wonderful record, saying mine were NOTHING!
But the really super creepiness was:
Asking me my dark secrets .
Having shared his own...bragging?
Looking for SOMETHING to use to later blackmail me, shame me...
But...guess what...there was not much to share there.
When I finally ditched him, I was VERY careful to not mention any major complaints.
My only complaint, that I need to be HEARD..."how about it", was his chance to be the one discarding me...."Well, if that's what I want, then it was time to end the relationship"
It was the PERFECT ending.
So crystal clear that this was ALL WRONG for me
CERTAINLY not bringing up SUPER illegal stuff he confided to me, ( why, intimidation?) that could have threatened my life if he thought I would want to get revenge!!!!!
I played sweet and dumb once I decided to get out!!!
They are susceptible to "dumb" acts ..always the smart one, in their own eyes
🙌🙏☀️
I have learned the hard way to keep good things that happen to me,, ,,,,,to myself,,,,to be very quiet about it and rejoice in private. ! Thanking GOD for the blessing,!,,,!,,,
you just described my "best friend" perfectly...............and when i fully realized she was a wicked to the core psychopath, that is when the healing began.................i learned life lessons i will NEVER forget
Wonderful guy so truthful wish i knew all this information many years ago. I think the world is breeding more narcissists now than ever before, or maybe I am becoming more aware of them. Thank God for loving people in the world, few and far between it seems!
Absolutely!
Thank you 🙏
I am so nice.. I try to be so thoughtful and I seem to continually get people who try to put me down.. take my happiness.. I am so TIRED OF IT..
My Mother used to say, ‘Keep Your Own Counsel’.......I wish I’d listened to her.......when I was young the old man who lived next door would say, kind of jokingly, Always learn to ‘Keep Your Big Mouth Shut’.......I wish I had also listened to him.
These narcs are everywhere and we can be so much unsuspecting of them and before we know it we have said too much. I have now learned to be very economic with my words.....only with those I now suspect are not respectful but want in such a subtle way all the information they can get out of you.
Thank you always Andrew for your very wise words today😊🙌🙏
Oh wow! Yup the narcissist always scopes out they potential prey with questions. Once in the relationship, the questioning becomes interrogation.
😛 3:35a.m. … Is Starbucks open yet? Like I say, the cat makes me pay for falling asleep 😖😆 I hope _everyone_ has a FABULOUS day!!! ❤❤❤ Love you ALL!!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗
Yes and they tried to use it against me when I left them, but luckily it didn't do too much damage as they were found out by then to be a complete sociopath
Andrew! This video brought me to another "light bulb moment". The way you described the subject~~"did you share too much....." really hit me as to the definition of narcissist and how they exploit others. Being a good listener, and attracting people who have a need to talk personally, I have tucked away a lot of secrets/sad stories/confessions in the far corners of my memories over the decades. I wouldn't dream of ever divulging any of that information, even though some of the people left me for whatever reason~~~big difference in people like us and narcissists. We listen to offer support and strength, they listen to tear down abd destroy. Wonderful insight Andrew once again, thank you 🌹
Welcome 💡💡☀️😊
Andrew! You are so right! I see my narcissist purposely sabotaging the one thing that I told him that meant something to me. All of his energy is spent trying to get in the way of that success. It's heartbreaking. You are so right!
💯💯💯
Always learning. Thank you ✨
Welcome 🙏
note to self - stop sharing..
Yup he always conveniently didn't have his wallet. I was so gullible 🤦🏼♀️ thankyou Andrew for making me know I'm not alone. God bless you 🌷🙏
Thank you 😊🙌🙏
They'll be on their phone in front of you as if that's more important, its a form of contempt. At the same time its information gathering for them & they're formulating how they can use it against you. As soon as I pick up on it I just start to act obtuse, mark them as a narc & move on, no more time to waste on losers. Another great one Andrew thanks for enlightening us ☺
I told my ex (narcissist) I got a job in the city I moved to after we broke up. She literally called my work 4 different times trying to get me fired, telling them I'm doing drugs, I'm a terrible worker with no ethic.... My bosses were like... what is this girls problem?
She used all my money, wants more money, then tries to get me fired from any job I have. I don't even think she knows what she wants.
Hope everyone had a great weekend less than 2 more weeks til we move! Woohoo! Can’t wait! I’m struggling with great amounts of anger lately and that’s not like me. I hope when my husband and I move I can get back to myself again. This isn’t me.
Sending positive energy..💯💯😊🙏
No, certainly not, as your name implies!
I'll keep you in prayer.
(My Dad's twin was "Serena!)
Lol that’s too funny yeah idk a lot of people with the same name as me.
Thank you for the prayers definitely need them 🙏🏾
Wow...beautifully said thank you..they make you think you are just worthless and don't deserve any happiness it's really evil
Welcome 🙏💯🙌
Yes Andrew yes ,Yes I did & all the information questions he used to asked me ,it was like he was writing a freaking book but no more cause & due to when I finally left him completely for good. I don't missed him either ,at all . When the 22 of this month it would be 1 year & 4 months.of completely no contact. Thank you Andrew for you being here with all your videos & all the survivors here with all their comments here & I hoped you & all the survivors here to have a wonderful blessed 🙏 night
My brother Andrew, your love for mankind is real, as your topics are spot on for me in the midst of this storm I'm reminded
" if not now, when?".
Actionable Intel. Thanks man!
Welcome always 🙌🙌💯☀️
No Andrew I did not share because you know as a super empath we sense things so fast that is what helped me, and your channel has open my eyes even more than I can ever imagine, thanks to you Andrew, I supported him right when I started talking to him, immediately I realise something is not right somewhere so I started paying attention on my instincts and I got him right where I want to got him 💪🙏🏿🙌👍❤❤❤👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋
Good Day Andrew, This is excellent information. You are exactly right. This is hard to hear, but true. There are some truly wicked people in the world. They are walking the planet everyday. Destroying hopes and dreams. Thank you again for your dedication it is truly a blessing.
Another excellent commentary
This should be taught in early childhood
Trust should be earned not assumed
Everything makes sense after listening to yo Andrew❤
Thank you 🙏🙌💯
Well now that's the truth. I learned the hard way...I told him my dream was to buy property in NC mountains. When I bought my dream mountain property he purchased a property one mile away, within one month. We had broke up 3 years prior to my purching the property. 4 years later he still lives in this town. Lesson learned.
I shared too much info re: my x narc with another female narc and she used that info to destroy me. I really didn't need that because I'm still healing from pancreas surgery and sever blood loss. It's fun to share but vet the person first.
Hi Andrew, thank you for sharing this video, have been slowly working on removing several narcissists from my life and it has been a hard process for me. This video was so helpful, be well.
Welcome 😊💯🙌
Thank you Mr. Andrew unfortunately I did oh my dear you are out of this world your words are spot on,this is him all year long.
Welcome ☀️😊🙌
Hi! Thank you first! I'm going through this right now! It's serious! And getting worse! I just found you, and everything you say is spot on. I just hide all day, but he seeks me out! You're helping give me knowledge! Thank you, I hope there's hope for me to get away!
Sending healing energy and strength 🙌🙏💯
The lord bless you and keep you he makes his face to shine upon you and he is gracious to you he lifts up his countenance upon you and he gives you his beloved his PEACE 🌈🌈God loves you 🌈🌈
Gypsy, keep coming back. This is a good room. You are always welcome. ❤️
@@richardfrank4647 Amen and thank you so much! 🙏 Bless You!!!
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone WOW, thank you so much, I've never said any of this, I'm so ashamed and humiliated. I thank GOD, I found this site where everyone is so kind and good. I saw a little light today!!. Thank you all!❤
Yes I shared my inner thoughts and feelings, I mean, I thought that’s the way it’s supposed to be my spouse is supposed to be my soul mate my best friend my protector. I didn’t have anything out of the ordinary to share so I’m ok still it burns because I’m usually a very private person it feels like I’ve been sharing my thoughts and feelings with the enemy. Still I regret nothing I learned from this experienced to keep things to myself I was way too trusting had to learn the hard way to keep my mouth shut I regret nothing this experience made me more aware everything happens for a reason 😌
Great video Andrew keep ‘‘em coming 🙏🏽❤️😌
Thank you 😊🙌🙏
Why would anyone want someone to be in a bad mood? I was always surprised when he said something nice.. I get it - it's all about control and manipulation.. nothing genuine.. just manipulation.. good explanation - I get it more and more..
Yes I did…. He was gathering info …. How devastating these people are…. I’m very grateful to know what I know now… knowledge is power… so is forgiveness…. Forgiveness and letting them go..,, truly want to move forward and never encounter such a person again.
Oh my goodness...look @ what you know...becuz you lived it...that's what makes you real...bless you, you sneezed
Thank you 😊😊
Have I ever learned, & I believe it literally has been pounded into my head! Much love & blessings, ty always Andrew & all of you here.💫
Welcome 😊🙌🙏
Yes I’ve shared way too much thank you so much for the reminder God bless you my friend
🙏🙌💯
He booked a holiday to Cypress as a surprise, as I once said I would love to go there. I was excited and he waited until the night before, when I’d packed my case, to tell me that I wasn’t going, he was going with his work mates instead.
Sad is the fact you don't think of these things when getting to know people. You don't know if the person will use anything you say against you therefore it creates a wall you don't want to bust through out of fear of this happening. I think its inevitable because I've done this, I've been nervous to share anything since leaving ex-friend because they did weaponize things. Sad these people ruin things for future individuals who can possibly make your life brighter.
He would take the happy out of everything.. out of life.. even when nothing was wrong.. all was good..