One of the kindest things that have ever happened to me was being at a family function at my brother's house and him noticing that I was about to have a complete meltdown. and instead of doing what my mother would have done which was to shame me for looking distressed at all, he said "would you like to go sit in the bedroom for a bit?" And that kindness made me cry. I miss him.
I have a cousin I don't get to see much who's like that. Idk what happened in his life, but he has a meter for emotional distress. My bro chose his own way out. I'm sorry for whatever reason you have for missing yours.
@@JohnDoe-bt9qp You misunderstand; the difference with stage acting is that once you're in the wings you don't have to act anymore. You're free to break character. But with masking autism, there's a pressure to perform for everybody all of the time, sometimes even for friends and family.
@@JohnDoe-bt9qp Have you known discrimination? I know what it's like to be treated differently, bullied, and harassed because other people perceive me to be different. Masking is something that autistic people are forced to learn as a survival skill in order to be treated anywhere close to equally in society. Actors get to have breaks, neurodiverse people are forced to act our entire lives.
@@MorganJ Yeah, I was bullied in elementary school too, I had to fight +10 people and I always won my fights except for one time. I'm not weak to put on a facade. These NT, they want your death! Accept the truth or live a blue pill lifestyle.
-both by the people around you and your own brain... your brain is relaying the information that breaking character would likely lead to death. (cognitive dissonance caused by acting counter to societal expectation can be deadly, in many ways)
I’ve recently been diagnosed with autism. When I told a friend of mine, she said “you must have very good willpower to hide it and function so well”. It took a while to explain that masking was never an active choice/something positive, but an attempt to change my behavior, so that I seem “normal enough” and “good enough” to be accepted. Masking isn’t “improvement”, it’s a survival mechanism.
So what she said is correct. Just because it's not right that we have to, doesn't mean masking well doesn't give you an advantage and requires a lot of mental effort.
@@hydrochloricacid6731that's the problem though the mental effort. People who haven't sorted this out with adhd tend to burn out have depressive episodes and more likely to kill themselves but it's a great advantage. 😒
@@hydrochloricacid6731the advantage is short lived the best way I can describe it is like freezing your arm off because its broken. Like short term sure but long term theres generally a lot to sort out the most annoying of which in my case are needing to learn how to not reflexively turn off my personality, people pleasing, and issues with your sense of self. So while it may have more immediate benefits id say not masking is probably better long term. Side note masking is also just very isolating in my experience like a big driver behind my not so great thoughts in high school was that I felt noone understood me (which was true because I was undiagnosed) but also noone had the opportunity to understand me because I was playing a character when I spoke to anyone so like that “i hope someone notices im not alright” was still there but there was also no room for it to happen
*rolls up sleeves* Your disrespect is showing Edit: this comment was made towards the mom/parent's quote "your tisim is showing", it's not about the video as a hole
Did she just say... "Your TISM is showing"?! Y'all I'd be down to fight. I don't want to be stimming like this in public any more than you do but if you want to opt for an emotional outburst we can do that. Love your channel ❤️
A shortening of the word “autism”. Personally I use it as a joke or funny alternative word when talking about myself, but in this context is does seem kind of… off. Idk
@@Underrated_Aries You can call it whatever you like, but it comes down to being significantly different than other people in the room. --And having to constantly pretend to be something you aren't is exhausting. Consider what it would be like to be a physically disabled person in a room full of able bodied people who are engaged in conversations about mountain-climbing.
I was making friends at a concert once and when I got super excited about mutual interests both of them looked at me and went, "Yep. You fit right into out friend group." And fit I did :D
At my AuDHD daughter’s 18th birthday party (a medieval dress up dinner with fire pit and DND movie and sleep over). After I spent the evening talking to them all with all my adhd traits out on display I asked them if any of them DID’T have a diagnosis of some type. Nah. They were all autism, adhd or both. Lol. My people.
My mom forced me to heavily mask myself growing up & we both didn’t know that’s what she was teaching me because I barely became aware of my autism and adhd this year. Masking feels so embedded in me that when I let down my mask I feel embarrassed and shame myself. >_< My mom and I didn’t have a good relationship growing up but in my 30’s it’s getting better and now I see how she always hid her stims too. I guess she thought she was protecting me by not letting me partake in my stims and that makes me feel sad she probably went through the same thing growing up. :(
I think most people really fail to understand that as a mother we sometimes are really doing the very best we can and/or know, and sometimes we just fail.
I'm not diagnosed but my therapist strongly suspects that I'm autistic. I also think mine went under the radar growing up because my mom is also probably autistic and a lot of the symptoms I displayed didn't raise any red flags for her because she did the same type of behavior as a child as what I was doing.
In my own way I can relate, I didn’t start piecing together my ADHD diagnosis from over 20 yrs ago until recently when I started asking my mom questions about why I took certain meds as a kid (Focalin), what were my OT/PT classes all for in school etc and then the texture sensitivities (socks, eggs, meat etc) and other things I do like dancing, mouth stims/mouth noises that I’d just considered “for my own amusement” all started to make sense especially with how agonizing boredom can become. It was never explained to me that I’d even been diagnosed with ADHD and due to other health issues later on, my family sort of forgot. So it’s been on me to connect a lot of the dots to get a better idea of why my mind works the way it does and how it’s impacted areas of my life over time so I can better handle it. I’ve never been tested for autism or OCD but after talks with friends who are autistic or have OCD, I feel like seeing a professional as an adult just to determine what Im dealing with personally needs to be done this year.
@@Sursie_Metzger I just want to say that I'm sorry your family lied to you and gave you medications without your full knowledge what they were for, let alone consent. I wasn't reading anything particularly upset on that score in your comment but children have the right to know about their health and what they are putting into their bodies (sets them up for adulthood and expecting the same things) and your rights were denied by, I'm sure, loving family doing their best. But that was not okay. I really hope it hasn't bothered you and everything's good on your end but I felt like it needed to be said - you didn't deserve that kind of treatment (lying), even if it was meant to help, and no other child does either (for those in the back).
I’m so lucky to have friends who also have adhd and autism because they understand how it’s hard to always mask and let me unmask around them. It’s fun being with other people who are like me and we can just vibe and be ourselves!
Girl I wish but a non-autistic person has to always be there with us, because we cant really meet in public and each time we go theres a non-autistic person there
Its the BEST ... I'm autistic and my mates adhd ... we died laughing trading stims ... like barking and quacking and honking at one another verbally. Doing wonky 'dancing' etc
I am a 58-year-old autistic/ADHD woman. If anyone ever tells you to stop doing your TISM or stimming or being you, then you look them straight in the feet and tell them to stop doing their ableism! This is so toxic, and you don't have to deal with this kind of toxicity. My employment coach is always telling me that I am so bold, and she loves that about me.
Yeah this is sad because honestly people do this. They are embarrassed and instead of accepting them for the difference and calling people out who have an issue with it they expect the person to change. Yeah no, I will speak up for anyone who is autistic 100%. Be you, how can I help, what do you need.
That's very nice of you but most of the time we do t need anything other than to not be made to feel strange. To us these things aren't abnormal and we don't eat why they're abnormal to other people .. to us it's weird that you have to put on a social mask that makes things more difficult for everyone.
@@jacobpreston5230Thats what the person is trying to say. They think its terrible that some people would make an autistic person feel like an outcast or strange because of it and they will stand up against any judgemental behaviour towards stimms etc They don't want you to be embarrassed or feel like you have to mask for the sake of what others think
Oh my goodness, my father never takes me seriously, everything he does stresses me out. He plays his music REALLY LOUD and doesn't care when I tell him to turn it down. Whenever he shows me videos on his phone he always has the volume all the way up, which is too loud. He thinks it's fun to annoy me and sometimes laughs when I get upset. And he sings WAY too much, and when I tell him to stop he just says "This is a free country, I can do whatever I want." He also thinks I'm lying a lot. He never takes me seriously and thinks this is just normal teenage girl behavior. I'm often very upset or depressed because he doesn't handle me the way he should. He seems to think I'll grow out of it, and he tries to force me to do things I don't feel comfortable doing (which he thinks is laziness). He's made me feel very ashamed of myself because I can't act like myself around him. He also very obviously cares mire about himself than me (he cares about me enough to buy food and those needs for me, but he doesn't care about my emotional needs and stuff). This isn't even a quarter of what he does. I'm honestly getting really upset typing this, because it's making me think about it. Sorry if I sound like I was complaining.
I have no idea what I have but I definitely get overstimulated and for a lot of my life I didn’t have the words to describe what was happening to me. I’m grateful to so many content creators for sharing their experiences and giving me a vocabulary explain my experiences.
My bff is autistic and she grew up having to hide it, and it was very confusing for her because she was diagnosed young but her parents didnt tell her until she was 17. I cant imagine growing up being that confused with why my brain worked a little different then everyone else. And then being treated like she was dumb and told to not show any difference and not telling her.
Wow, that is an awful thing to put your kid through. They seriously put superficial stigmas and/or their hate of changing their behaviors above their child's wellbeing. 😡 I didn't know I had ADHD till after college, and I am forever furious at the man that misdiagnosed me when I was tested in middle school. I couldn't finish college because I didn't have the tools I needed, tools I would have been given in high school if I'd known I actually needed special ed. I only got through high school because the misdiagnosis still gave me some accommodations on timed tests.
@its_mariss1255 very true. But I do have an identical twin who is autistic, so the likelihood of me being autistic is rather high. I've just never been tested
Last week after school I just didn’t feel like talking and was having a minor non-verbal episode. But I was with my mom who wasn’t used to that happening as I usually was with my dad after school and she was used to me just talking nonstop after school. She kept asking me if I was ok and I would nod and just say I didn’t feel like talking when she kept asking and wouldn’t just accept my nods. She then insisted I go to bed early as she thought I was really tired. I was just normal tired. I just didn’t want to talk so I couldn’t really explain to her what was going on which was kinda annoying. Also during Thanksgiving break we saw Wakanda Forever which was I think what caused the overstimulation but it wasn’t until we were in the car driving home and my mom and sister were talking pretty loudly (well that’s what it felt like to me anyway) that the meltdown officially started. I was curled up, hands over my ears, eyes closed as the lights when I opened them hurt them, and just wanted them to stop. Tears were rolling down my cheeks. Fortunately this didn’t start until after we dropped of this other kid who was with us back at the place he was staying. I think that’s why the meltdown actually started when it did because I was holding it in but when he left everything just came to he surface.
I have never truly related more to a comment before. I’ve been making myself believe I’m just insanely sensitive and attention seeking. I’ve been trying to mask it and it unsurprisingly has only made it worse. And I also have gotten a few short non-verbal episodes, my environment is so exhausting for me and it can result in me not having the energy to speak. They fortunately only last for a few hours, but they can unfortunately happen every day Yeah my environment is not the most ideal for me, but I just have to accept it
that’s happened to me one time my sister and mom were singing loudly in the car and it was too loud but i didn’t want to tell them so i just sat in the back, face in my knees, hands pressed against my ears, eyes closed as tight as possible, crying i was still crying when we got home so my mom asked me what was wrong so i told her
I get nonverbal episodes a lot when I’m overwhelmed and really helps that I know I’m not the only one who has them, thank you for sharing and I hope your family can be better and more understanding to you :)
As someone who struggles with masking I feel this. People who think masking is "good" and helpful have never masked. It's exhausting and probably lead to my nervous breakdown at seventeen (starting official diagnosis journey in four days).
Before I knew masking and autism is a thing, it was so bad for me that everything about me is fake, I always end the day in my bedroom, angry and screaming at the pillow, it’s that exhausting. But after learning about it, it helped me embrace unmasking
That's bullshit, autistic adults have to mask to hold a job, ya know, the thing that puts food on the table, clothes on your back, and a roof over your head? Why can't y'all accept that it's a spectrum, and not everyone has the EXACT same experience with ASD
I know, right?! With this video, I realized I actually do have shutdowns. I guess I was under the impression that it was going into a state of complete nonfunction, as opposed to a mild withdrawal. 😂😭😭🥺
As a parent, when i see my kiddo doing this I excuse myself with them to make sure they are good and if not I will help them. if they want to be alone I will make sure they have what they need and are safe before I step away enough for them to be comfortable but I'm still close by enough to be right there if they need me. Nobody is that important to me that I would ignore my kids needs like that.
Maybe set up a handsign so you can communicate to eachother nonverbally, without having to draw attention by having a step outside moment. Sometimes things like that can convey the same type of vibe as the mom here was displaying, ie "this is not acceptable public behaviour". The acceptance of stims needs to change, they work for everyone, to varying degrees, not just neurodivergent people.
With my adhd if someone doesn't leave after the first couple of times of me nicely pushing them away when overstimulated i freak out and yell. I always feel bad after.
It's okay to tell people when you've had enough! From the sounds of it, you get to the point of yelling because you're suppressing your need by hoping the other person will just take the hint, but some people are just oblivious and need to be told directly " Hey I need to go rest now. Loved chatting but I'm emotionally drained now. " Anyone worth your time will understand that :)
I had this happen while in a car once and I wasn’t allowed to leave. One of my biggest regrets to this day but still it’s important to find people who understand when you need a break
As much as I love my mother, there were things she said to me that neither of us would realise would have such an effect on me after childhood. I went through my entire childhood all the way to early adulthood without knowing I had ADHD, and her saying things like “stop interrupting people” or my dad saying “why are you always fidgeting, stop it” lead to me being incredibly shy, reserved and not as happy as I was as a child. My dad even said “what happened to my happy go lucky little girl, did we do something wrong” when I was a teenager and had social anxiety and depression (ADHD’s best friends). Back then I didn’t really put two and two together. Note: I do love and appreciate my parents, they didn’t know that what they said would hurt me this way, things have changed since the 90’s and early 00’s,
@@YSleepish I'm not, I feels really bad when people catch me "lacking" like that. Also, it's really annoying, I space out because I'm tired of hearing my dad explaining to her how the the last 20 years for the fifth time.
As a late diagnosed autistic woman, I have internalized this. Such hard work to relearn and unmask. I am too burned out. I can't constantly mask anymore.
The tism!!!! I can’t even. My best friend has autism and he has 5 siblings who all have it as well and they definitely don’t mask the “tism”. I love em all to death tho
My Mom: *looks around* oh hey, I just remembered we have to get going because of that thing, bye! Me: You're the best Mom, ever. Mom: I try. 😉 My Mom struggles with words because of suffering a stroke a few years ago, so if there's ever an indication that I'm wanting to leave but am struggling to be honest about it, she just BS's us out of the room. She did that before but it's a lot faster now that people feel bad about her not having a word immediately when talking and accept anything to ease their own discomfort.
ADHD here. My mom's did the same thing to me growing up. Any form of stimming or unmasking was seen as disobedient and I was scolded all the time for it 😢
I'm glad I have recognized & got diagnosed my daughter's neurodivergence/ADHD. I allow her to bounce around when she needs to (as long as it's not completely inappropriate). I've taught her to be aware of her surroundings & people nearby so she doesn't break something or hurt someone. Some of my family does not understand this. Luckily, the ones closest to us now accept it.
@@squishyushibeing yelled at for certain movements / noises you can’t control sucks. my dad yelled at me for tearing up cardboard because i felt overwhelmed 😭
Good God, I'm so thankful that my mom is as neurodivergent as I am and NEVER cared about these things. I only found out I'm weird through interactions with other people. I got a little bullied in pre school, but later I found friends and stopped caring about looking "normal" as my friends were also weird like me. Now as an adult I have to mask a little, but it's manageable, only when necessary. Never on "casual" "social" situations. Mostly on professional scenarios. All thanks to my saint of a mother who never pressured me to act in any way that wasn't natural for me, without having a logical and practical reason for it ❤❤❤ thank you mommy ❤❤
@@limitedtime5471 yes, I also believe most people act different in a professional scenario. But it's a lot easier for NT people, they can "feel" what is appropriate or not at the same time they're doing it, without having to practice much or rationalize every step of the way. They look at the person they are talking to and just know what to do after a few times on the job, even if it's not how they would prefer to act in other areas of their life. NT can improvise when something unexpected happens at the social interaction quite easily, it just comes naturally to them. They are not being themselves at work, and that can be quite exhausting also, but it's not like ND masking, cause "how to be" doesn't come naturally for the neurodivergents. They have to practice beforehand and pay attention all the time, trying to mimic other people constantly to try and appear "normal". And anything that happens unexpectedly in the interaction causes a lot of distress, leaving the ND lost, and often misunderstood by the other person. Even when masking perfectly, NTs notice that the ND is a little weird, they often know something is "wrong" about the ND, but don't know what, so the ND often ends up being excluded or bullied among their social circle, even at work. Also, NDs don't usually choose something that demands they interact with the general public at work, cause it doesn't work really well. Even if the ND happens to have good social skills, they still get a lot more exhausted than NT doing the same job, usually get burned out and depressed a lot more frequently, get meltdowns and shutdowns over things considered "small" by the NTs.
Yeah... no. We all do that here. If people act weird about it in public, we all dance and since and make noises! Its super fun for us and usually everyone but the rude people laugh with us. 💯 Don't look at my kids like they should be embarrassed... we will let you embarrass yourself while we have fun! 😉
I am have recently diagnosed with autism. I realize that I have been masking for a long time. I am still learning a lot. I am learning to be patient with myself as well as have compassion.
One of my stims is flexing my fingers in and out of weird positions (think of Kaiba's hand from the DSOD poster) and one of my coworkers asked me about it because she thought I was hurt. I was like, "oh, no, I'm just autistic" She stared at me for a second before putting her hands on her hips and saying "you know so many things you do make so much more sense, but I never would have guessed if you hadn't said that" I was just like "🙃 I'm good at masking"
I scratch at my chin without realizing it. Make very strange facial expressions that close friends have pointed out. Really need to find a way in Ontario for a fast diagnosis. Every quiz I do I’m in the 90 percent range. It’s really helping me make sense of all of the things I do…and don’t get done…thanks for your content sweetie! You’re helping so many by being so honest and vulnerable. Sending love and blessings! 💖🙌💖
My mom, as a SENCO at a primary school, she would never tell me to mask. She’d realize what was going on and give me permission to go into another room to calm down. She’ll also ask if I needed anything. My mom means so much to me me I love her so much and I’m very grateful to have her support and understanding
That’s fair if you don’t have other autistic traits then it’s likely got another reason. Everyone stirs, autistic people like myself just stim more and it helps regulate other symptoms like sensory overload or sensory seeking.
Except that if you go through the comments you'll see there are some that definitely are just cause your autistic and it doesn't bother you does not mean it doesn't bother others
@@gumblebrum I don't think it's the word itself that people are finding offensive. I think it's the fact that it's supposed to be someone that "cares" about you being embarrassed by stimming that is offensive.
i have to heavily mask myself in school and today evening was the worst. I was in second last period which was English and we had chromebooks to finish typing out a short story as our assignment and people started talking very loudly and blasting memes which was funny until i became heavily overstimulated and i couldn't concentrate on my work and my friend kept asking me if i was ok and I'm pretty sure this is one of my first times i actually kind of went non verbal. Now that i look back i should have spoken to my english because she's the sweetest teacher I've ever had and gives good advice
I'm always braiding my hair no matter what, either that or playing with my hands, or biting my tongue. I have severe ADHD and this is how I deal with public situations; so personally if I ever see someone doing something like that, I'm generally more comfortable around them
Once I had a friend take my glasses (per my permission) and when they went to put them back on my face I reacted and they stopped,handed me my glasses and said “you seemed to not like that so here you go” it wasn’t loud or rude or anything it was quiet and respectful of my boundaries and space and I kinda realized right then that I was in fact allowed to tell people I didn’t want to be touched or harassed, something I didn’t really think i could do before
I think symptoms get more prominent when you are tired. I have ADHD and I was cycling between death and resurrection the whole lecture on top of dealing with stimuli from everywhere I was sitting.
"your 'tism is showing" 😭😭😭 That's so real tho. I have family members who would see that i'm in distress and tell me to keep it together to not make them look bad, rather than help me navigate the situation or anythg helpful. it sucks :(
This is only bad if she doesn’t like being called out like this. I don’t have the best hearing (and I’m Mexican) so I naturally talk louder. I tell my dad in certain situations to let me know if I’m talking loud so I don’t get embarrassed if someone I don’t know we’ll tells me
It's not the callout, per se, that was addressed by the video. It's that she's overwhelmed and not okay and her mother, instead of comforting or offering alternatives or anything healthy or helpful, tells her to hide it. That's a common theme for kids who display "abnormal behaviours" like this (neurodivergent kids) because their brain is... not "normal". It's an extremely unhealthy suppression of who a person is and how they cope with things in healthy ways. Many of us who have experienced it have been deeply scarred by it, to the point of feeling uncomfortable displaying "normal" (to us) behaviours. Behaviours that would typically make us feel better, but having been taught that doing that is fundamentally wrong, can actually increase anxiety. (Until we unlearn the harmful behaviour patterns taught to us.)
I realized my most common stim is adjusting, I adjust my rings, my bracelets, my necklace, my pants, my shirt, my glasses, my bra, etc. When I'm not listening to music (which is clearly my favorite stim, especially if I move or sing to the music) then I'm constantly adjusting things.
When i got told to mask i always replied with "maybe i wouldn't be so overwhelmed if y'all weren't that loud, obnoxious, selfish POS" and stormed out the room. We need to stand up for ourselves because nobody Else will.
nah fr. but the "oh honey your tism is showing" is mainly me to myself trying to mask to NOT seem so autistic because im terrified of being judged. im really monotone, deep voice, sound kinda dead inside (i am 👌🏼) and my face does not show much emotion either the second im not alone because other people seeing me have emotions...ew...makes me mad uncomfortable it's like a switch goes off instinctively but it's so fucking hard at work because i work retail (there is absolutely nothing else i could do for work my ideal job is impossible for me to accomplish) and it's so hard to seem...not autistic because i come across as not friendly sometimes or a bunch of negative shit bc im very anti social and awkward which i hate because scared of judgment ): i have severe general anxiety social anxiety agoraphobia ocd and selective mutism too so work is a fuckin nightmare daily fighting with myself to act not fucked up in the head 😭 don't come at me for saying im fucked up in the head yall not saying everyone with these issues is but....i sure as hell am lol😭 i got depression and bipolar disorder too i AM messed up in the head lmaoo
I'm really good at masking if I may toot my own horn for a moment. But damn now that is biting me in the ass now that I have a romantic partner. Not that he's mean about it or anything but I will be the happiest fucker in the world just because I'm next to him but because I'm comfortable and not masking I will be sitting there with a neutral face and not saying anything. And he'll ask me what's wrong if it lasts too long. It makes me love him more but damn it's probably time to just tell him it's a bit of the 'tism
Yeah and it's bullsh*t sorry my issues I was born with because of you wanting a child is so bad and an inconvenience for you. That's what I tell my parents and friends and others get a okay don't hangout with me then because they know how I act and have to cope so if they don't like it or are embarrassed they can leave. I had to put up with that crap my whole life but when I became an adult I cut off everyone who was toxic and honestly my mental health has gotten better and with my therapist and doctors I have learned so much and am able to cope and function alot easier. But if I would have stayed with toxic people I would have ended up dead or arrested. People are d*cks. But I love your videos and I am so glad I have someone who posts videos about it. Its nice to know others who deal with similar issues. ❤❤
I only recently got diagnosed with ADHD and I do fidget intensely when not judged or reprimanded for it but my mother has ALWAYS hated it and tried to supress it. A few years ago, I went over to a friend's house, was absentmindedly using one of my "covert fidget toys" (I think it was a pebble I really like or a bracelet) and he asked about it. When I explained that it helped me be more calm and concentrated, he went "wait, I've got something for you." and lent me his metallic mini rainbow slinky to use for the rest of the evening. Not only that but none of the people present, including the mentioned friend's parents, said anything about it or gave me weird looks or ANYTHING despite the very obvious movement and noise. It was the first time I experienced a group of people that size including people I considered "proper adults" be that accepting of (what I say the time thought were my quirks and what I now know for certain to be) symptoms of my ADHD. It made me extremely happy and that small act of kindness in itself mellowed me out for the evening. I think about that experience a lot, especially when I'm afraid to ask people to be patient with me or accepting of things I need to be comfortable.
A lot of people, a staggering amount actually believe any deviation in the experience of life from theirs and the person must be faking or seeking attention. Too many close minded people cant understand that the vastness of experiences available here to us in this realm is as vast as the universe itself
She's not saying that playing with your hair the way she was is a symptom of autism, lots of people in these comments seem to think that, she's showing a common interaction between neurotypical people and autistic people, in which the autistic person displays a stim/symptom because they're overwhelmed, and the neurotypical person finds it strange/rude/weird/ or it makes them uncomfortable, and the autistic person is forced to make themselves further over stimulated and less regulated to fit in
Ugh, this video brought back memories of how I’d get tapped under a table with a leg… and I knew that meant “I’m embarrassed of you right now, stop doing that, you’re making everyone uncomfortable”. How funny, because this is me displaying that I AM UNCOMFORTABLE! 😣🤦🏻♀️😅🤷🏻♀️ Processing forgiveness about that, because ‘ouch’. The message, that I better tug that mask up a little higher, is so destructive. I see you. ❤
I've just straight up started bringing activities to family and friend gatherings, even if nobody else is doing them. I'll join in on the conversations, but crochet or draw all along, and I don't get overstimulated as easily! That, or I'll braid my hair. That's more culturally acceptable than most of my stims, and I've always stimmed with my hair anyway. A fishtail braid will take a loooong time.
I have that exact star wars mug. The light sabre blades show up when there's hot liquid inside it. Very cool. Also I imagine there are many an autist who enjoy owning various fandom novelty mugs as well as me.
When I was younger I was told. "You need to know it, be perfect, or shut up." I was either stimming or hyperfocus reading. I had a diagnosis of ADHD amd later, much later, autism. I was good at masking.
Yesterday I was so overwhelmed that when my mom took me to the store to get my drawing tablet fixed and the guy said it would be $200 to fix I just shut down. I was jerking my head and scratching at my neck, and I was so embarrassed. I don’t have diagnosed autism, but I feel like I have it and I have for a while.
I notice I stim a lot during work because of the masking I’m having to do. Since I’m working with patients, I can’t very well “be myself” all the time. It’s exhausting. When we are having our team huddles I’m always swaying side to side while our team lead tells us all the stuff for clinic that day. I have few co-workers that see me start doing that… and instead of telling me to stop they start doing it too. That way I don’t feel so weird being the only spaz that can’t stand still. I love my co-workers. They do say things like, “we’re all a little autistic/adhd”. But when they say it… I can tell they mean it as I’m not weird alone and they’ll be weird with me. They’re really supportive. They don’t tell me stop doing things… they just do it with me. First time I’ve ever had this in a work place. ❤
My mom forced me to repress my stims so hard it turned into subtle self-harming behaviours like digging my nails into my palms until the bled, and (gross warning) pulling the skin away from under my nails until they slightly detached from the nail bed, and later on developing trichotillomania. Just freaking let your kids stim, okay???
My mother displays her stim behaviour by picking at her acne and taught me that was the only acceptable expression. Because digging at your infected acne wounds is far more socially acceptable public behaviour than shaking your hands or twirling your hair.... >.< Fortunately I learned young that my family was broken and started studying psychology. Still working on unmasking, it goes so very deep, but I am more and more comfortable as myself x) Just let humans act humanely!!
I grew up in the 80's and didn't get diagnosised until this year. And I was always told to act like a lady, no sucking my thumb, no having my blanket with me, no having stuff animals with me, No having anything that would help me stay calm. Being told NO was so common that I started masking at 4 years old, which is when I started school. I am just now unmasking and trying to be my true self.
Just got diagnosed with ASD 1 in my fifties. Finally realized what has been going on my entire life. Masking to fit in is basically acting. It was always so exhausting at family get togethers. I wondered why I was so tired all my life. So much pressure society puts on us. Now I tell myself that it's ok and am learning ways to cope in social events. I'm trying harder each day to be me my authentic self, the way God made me.
I took drama/acting classes as a kid since we would also have to perform a play for an audience to so we originally took it to get better at my speech and public speaking but it just made it so much easier to mask or act/pretend while we were in public or around others. Usually feels like oddly performing a character
If someone has a problem with it, tell them to f off this is how you are and they can either deal with it or walk away. That makes it seem like they are embarrassed of you.
My daughter and I say that about her daughter (my granddaughter) “her tism is showing” or “her tism is coming out” or “yup, that’s the tism”. Sometimes it’s easier to look at each other and smile than to worry. By the way, the child is 3 and not diagnosed yet but we are working on that. She will be supported by us all.
I pretty much self-taught masking when I was bullied to death for being myself. It started as an elementary school kid, and I just learned more and more ways to copy the "normal" kids until I became mostly indistinguishable or "acceptibly nerdy" enough to be passible. 🙃🙃 Did not get a ADHD dx til I was an adult, and looking into the possibility of it being AuDHD (aka being ASD and ADHD at the same time). It seems like my oldest is also ND and I'm glad I can be more supportive than my parents who just truly didn't know a thing about being ND, although I suspect my mother is ND herself (never diagnosed obv, but showing many signs of ADHD herself).
Im 20 and beginning a journey to have my diagnosis My little sister (9yo) just got it But i was a perfect student and really like obedient child and my parents thought I was like everyone else. But I was masking sooooo hard. Its very confusing now but I hope I'm gonna find my way.
I got diagonsed in my mid-teens to this might not apply to you, and i apologise now if i sound at all condescending or rude (tone is something i struggle with a lot) but if i can offer some advice from my own experience. For me i was diagnosed at 13, and due to how the school system and other help places are run where i live, i was "too old" or "coping too well" to receive much help and spent all of my tome in high school heavily masking and forcing my way though but due to that i REALLY struggle to unmask now as i convinced my brain it wasn't safe. If you can, i suggest trying to break that behaviour, if only somewhat as soon as you can. (Though only if it is safe and comfortable for you. As i'm aware that some people aren't somewhere that it would be safe to do so or is something that some people as is now my case don't really have any kind of control over). Again, please take this advice with a grain of salt as it is highly personalised to me, but from my own experience in a slightly similar situation, i wanted to see if i could help you with something that is now a major problem for me.
Not my mom my entire childhood and until now, still dœsn't understand how autism and adhd work on me and that I can't help it. No wonder I live so far from her for so many years now 😅 Still love her, she's actually doing her best, it's just uneasy for her to learn how to deal with that, even more kowing the rest of the family and their conception of those problems... They defenitely don't help about it.
The best part of my friends and family… is that we don’t talk about stims. We only interfere if it’s harmful- like when I can’t stop picking my cuticles until they bleed. ❤
You give people too much power when anything they say can hurt your feelings. It's like you're giving them power over what you're feeling on any given day and are therefore dependent that they only say nice things to you at all times. Don't be a victim, grow a thicker skin
@jraqn Agreed. Her own mother works to shut down her natural coping mechanisms while being fully aware of her diagnosis. It’s just a skit, but it’s imitating real life for too many children. Eh, maybe these kids just need to “grow a thicker skin” when their parents do harm.
@@AnnabelNightwish i call that "emotion shaming". you are telling a victim that they are wrong for having and feeling emotion instead of addressing the abuse that caused the emotion in the first place. of course in a parent/child relationship, a parent has power over "what you are feeling any given day", it's a parent/child relationship, it's not always going to be nice, but there is a big difference between "not nice" and hurling abusive language at someone you have authority over. "being a victim" is not a self inflicted action. it is not something one can chose to be. it is a status inflicted by another. it is impossible for a person to "not be a victim". "grow thicker skin" and when the person who tells you that can't, they will resort to a louder, and more forceful voice. from personal experience, you can't be "the victim" if you yell louder, use crasser insults and abuse them more. then THEY are the victims. there is no good outcome from this.
@@pathevermore3683 this is a TH-cam comment section, not a college English course. If the Internet hurts your feelings, maybe you need to distance yourself from the hurt instead of demanding that people treat you special for no other reason than "my feewins huwt"
@AnnabelNightwish poor baby, did my reply offend you? This is the internet not your personal safe space. If you can't handle adult conversation then I suggest you get off the internet. You are too soft and sensitive.
💔 that’s basically what my childhood-young adult life was. That was so triggering but that’s okay because: Fast forward to now where I encourage every stim or coping strategies that both my autistic kids need.
As a mom of a 2 year old little boy who was recently diagnosed with Autism this breaks my heart why wasn't the response "oh honey do you want to go home?" Being overstimulated sucks and when I am overstimulated I just want to go home not sit there and pretend like I am not overstimulated.
Hello im 11 and i been diagnosed with autism since i was 3 or 4 and i have just now realised that i mask like alot and i didnt realise as someone who has 2 older autistic brothers i think my family should have noticed but you know its fine plus im really quiet and stuff so yeah❤
As an autistic person - i can confirm “-tism” is not offensive to me, so please don’t be offended on my behalf. “Oops your tism is showing” actually made me laugh out loud.
@@IsaBennett100 I am a walking medical library of illness and disorders - if you want to ask anything else : feel free..! I can answer ab awful lot having so many different issues all inside the one body. Mental, neurological and physical I have them all 😂😅
It's probably dependent on the context of the comment and the relationship you have with the person saying it. For example if this is being said by a close group of friends who know you with no ill intent, just humour and giggles. No red flag. But it would be a different situation if its a bully or someone abusive thats trying to cause upset and hurt. That's a red flag. Individuals, use & context are key to this.
I'm also autistic and hearing it bothered me, but only because the person who said it is meant to be like an unsupportive family member or "friend", who said it in a weird way. I don't have people like this in my life so it probably be funny to me in real life.
When someone is so overwhelmed that it's affecting them physically the best way you can help them calm down is to tell them to stop looking how they feel!! It's going to make them feel loved and supported and not more overwhelmed and self-conscious because they're being shamed. The same way that if someone's depressed just telling them you should smile more will instantly cure their depression!!! Such a good parenting move and definitely not neglectful! If no one can see that you're upset then magically you won't be anymore right?
One of the kindest things that have ever happened to me was being at a family function at my brother's house and him noticing that I was about to have a complete meltdown. and instead of doing what my mother would have done which was to shame me for looking distressed at all, he said "would you like to go sit in the bedroom for a bit?" And that kindness made me cry. I miss him.
You miss him? Did he pass away?
😢
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 when someone shows us ND's kindness and care, it's the most wholesome feeling ever. I love your story 🥺💜
I have a cousin I don't get to see much who's like that.
Idk what happened in his life, but he has a meter for emotional distress.
My bro chose his own way out. I'm sorry for whatever reason you have for missing yours.
@@xbrandi12345x he did. Colon cancer at age 30. The world isn't fair.
It's basically just acting, except you're onstage 24/7 and are pressured to never ever break character.
@@JohnDoe-bt9qp You misunderstand; the difference with stage acting is that once you're in the wings you don't have to act anymore. You're free to break character. But with masking autism, there's a pressure to perform for everybody all of the time, sometimes even for friends and family.
@@JohnDoe-bt9qp Have you known discrimination? I know what it's like to be treated differently, bullied, and harassed because other people perceive me to be different. Masking is something that autistic people are forced to learn as a survival skill in order to be treated anywhere close to equally in society.
Actors get to have breaks, neurodiverse people are forced to act our entire lives.
@@MorganJ Yeah, I was bullied in elementary school too, I had to fight +10 people and I always won my fights except for one time. I'm not weak to put on a facade. These NT, they want your death! Accept the truth or live a blue pill lifestyle.
-both by the people around you and your own brain... your brain is relaying the information that breaking character would likely lead to death. (cognitive dissonance caused by acting counter to societal expectation can be deadly, in many ways)
Morgan Freeman.
I love your movies! Especially the one with Brad Pitt!
I’ve recently been diagnosed with autism. When I told a friend of mine, she said “you must have very good willpower to hide it and function so well”. It took a while to explain that masking was never an active choice/something positive, but an attempt to change my behavior, so that I seem “normal enough” and “good enough” to be accepted. Masking isn’t “improvement”, it’s a survival mechanism.
So what she said is correct. Just because it's not right that we have to, doesn't mean masking well doesn't give you an advantage and requires a lot of mental effort.
@@hydrochloricacid6731Forcing your autistic child to mask is child abuse.
@@hydrochloricacid6731that's the problem though the mental effort. People who haven't sorted this out with adhd tend to burn out have depressive episodes and more likely to kill themselves but it's a great advantage. 😒
@@hydrochloricacid6731the advantage is short lived the best way I can describe it is like freezing your arm off because its broken. Like short term sure but long term theres generally a lot to sort out the most annoying of which in my case are needing to learn how to not reflexively turn off my personality, people pleasing, and issues with your sense of self. So while it may have more immediate benefits id say not masking is probably better long term. Side note masking is also just very isolating in my experience like a big driver behind my not so great thoughts in high school was that I felt noone understood me (which was true because I was undiagnosed) but also noone had the opportunity to understand me because I was playing a character when I spoke to anyone so like that “i hope someone notices im not alright” was still there but there was also no room for it to happen
@@nummynummy3705 Masking well does give you a social and societal advantage versus not masking though, regardless of it being mentally taxing.
*rolls up sleeves*
Your disrespect is showing
Edit: this comment was made towards the mom/parent's quote "your tisim is showing", it's not about the video as a hole
My thoughts exactly
💍💍💍💍
Lmao same I was like "What did she sayyyy?" I'm ready to throw hands.
As someone with the tism myself, I personally found it funny. Why can't things just be funny nowadays?
❤
Did she just say... "Your TISM is showing"?! Y'all I'd be down to fight. I don't want to be stimming like this in public any more than you do but if you want to opt for an emotional outburst we can do that. Love your channel ❤️
Right 💀 those r fighting words
what is a tism
@@keshacow short for autism
when some1 says “your tism is showing” they’re basically saying ur “acting” autistic
A shortening of the word “autism”. Personally I use it as a joke or funny alternative word when talking about myself, but in this context is does seem kind of… off. Idk
@logicalbeetles9296 Yeah it's an inside joke, not something outsiders can use, or it's just a slur.
"ew, honey? the real you is visible"
-parent of the year
Precisely. 🙄
My sister nugges me whenever I show my hyperactivity and I Bob with my leg. But for her it's completely fine 😂 thankfully I don't see her often
What if.... It's regulating, rather than, "masking"?
@@Underrated_Aries There are times when you need to regulate, but that isn't the case here.
@@Underrated_Aries You can call it whatever you like, but it comes down to being significantly different than other people in the room. --And having to constantly pretend to be something you aren't is exhausting.
Consider what it would be like to be a physically disabled person in a room full of able bodied people who are engaged in conversations about mountain-climbing.
I was making friends at a concert once and when I got super excited about mutual interests both of them looked at me and went, "Yep. You fit right into out friend group."
And fit I did :D
Awww that’s so wholesome lmao
I love it, good for you!
At my AuDHD daughter’s 18th birthday party (a medieval dress up dinner with fire pit and DND movie and sleep over). After I spent the evening talking to them all with all my adhd traits out on display I asked them if any of them DID’T have a diagnosis of some type. Nah. They were all autism, adhd or both. Lol. My people.
My mom forced me to heavily mask myself growing up & we both didn’t know that’s what she was teaching me because I barely became aware of my autism and adhd this year. Masking feels so embedded in me that when I let down my mask I feel embarrassed and shame myself. >_<
My mom and I didn’t have a good relationship growing up but in my 30’s it’s getting better and now I see how she always hid her stims too. I guess she thought she was protecting me by not letting me partake in my stims and that makes me feel sad she probably went through the same thing growing up. :(
I think most people really fail to understand that as a mother we sometimes are really doing the very best we can and/or know, and sometimes we just fail.
I'm not diagnosed but my therapist strongly suspects that I'm autistic. I also think mine went under the radar growing up because my mom is also probably autistic and a lot of the symptoms I displayed didn't raise any red flags for her because she did the same type of behavior as a child as what I was doing.
Are you me but fifteen years older?
In my own way I can relate, I didn’t start piecing together my ADHD diagnosis from over 20 yrs ago until recently when I started asking my mom questions about why I took certain meds as a kid (Focalin), what were my OT/PT classes all for in school etc and then the texture sensitivities (socks, eggs, meat etc) and other things I do like dancing, mouth stims/mouth noises that I’d just considered “for my own amusement” all started to make sense especially with how agonizing boredom can become. It was never explained to me that I’d even been diagnosed with ADHD and due to other health issues later on, my family sort of forgot. So it’s been on me to connect a lot of the dots to get a better idea of why my mind works the way it does and how it’s impacted areas of my life over time so I can better handle it. I’ve never been tested for autism or OCD but after talks with friends who are autistic or have OCD, I feel like seeing a professional as an adult just to determine what Im dealing with personally needs to be done this year.
@@Sursie_Metzger I just want to say that I'm sorry your family lied to you and gave you medications without your full knowledge what they were for, let alone consent. I wasn't reading anything particularly upset on that score in your comment but children have the right to know about their health and what they are putting into their bodies (sets them up for adulthood and expecting the same things) and your rights were denied by, I'm sure, loving family doing their best.
But that was not okay. I really hope it hasn't bothered you and everything's good on your end but I felt like it needed to be said - you didn't deserve that kind of treatment (lying), even if it was meant to help, and no other child does either (for those in the back).
I’m so lucky to have friends who also have adhd and autism because they understand how it’s hard to always mask and let me unmask around them. It’s fun being with other people who are like me and we can just vibe and be ourselves!
Hugely relate to this wow
Yes😊😊
Yup, they're the only ones around whom I'm not constantly anxious about doing something wrong
Girl I wish but a non-autistic person has to always be there with us, because we cant really meet in public and each time we go theres a non-autistic person there
Its the BEST ... I'm autistic and my mates adhd ... we died laughing trading stims ... like barking and quacking and honking at one another verbally. Doing wonky 'dancing' etc
I am a 58-year-old autistic/ADHD woman. If anyone ever tells you to stop doing your TISM or stimming or being you, then you look them straight in the feet and tell them to stop doing their ableism! This is so toxic, and you don't have to deal with this kind of toxicity.
My employment coach is always telling me that I am so bold, and she loves that about me.
Look them straight in the feet! 🤣🤣🤣
Look then straight in their feet! 😂❤
“Look them straight in the feet”
Power move.
SUCH a power move. Great comments! I'm going to have to use that. ❤
I wouldn't have the energy to explain why I do what I do so I just let them believe I'm nervous or cold or need to go to the toilet lmao😂
Yeah this is sad because honestly people do this. They are embarrassed and instead of accepting them for the difference and calling people out who have an issue with it they expect the person to change. Yeah no, I will speak up for anyone who is autistic 100%. Be you, how can I help, what do you need.
That's very nice of you but most of the time we do t need anything other than to not be made to feel strange. To us these things aren't abnormal and we don't eat why they're abnormal to other people .. to us it's weird that you have to put on a social mask that makes things more difficult for everyone.
I wish I could unmask. Other people make uncomfortable comments when I do.
I'm so tired. I have being an adult. Everything is so restrictive.
@@jacobpreston5230Thats what the person is trying to say. They think its terrible that some people would make an autistic person feel like an outcast or strange because of it and they will stand up against any judgemental behaviour towards stimms etc
They don't want you to be embarrassed or feel like you have to mask for the sake of what others think
Oh my goodness, my father never takes me seriously, everything he does stresses me out. He plays his music REALLY LOUD and doesn't care when I tell him to turn it down. Whenever he shows me videos on his phone he always has the volume all the way up, which is too loud. He thinks it's fun to annoy me and sometimes laughs when I get upset. And he sings WAY too much, and when I tell him to stop he just says "This is a free country, I can do whatever I want." He also thinks I'm lying a lot. He never takes me seriously and thinks this is just normal teenage girl behavior. I'm often very upset or depressed because he doesn't handle me the way he should. He seems to think I'll grow out of it, and he tries to force me to do things I don't feel comfortable doing (which he thinks is laziness). He's made me feel very ashamed of myself because I can't act like myself around him. He also very obviously cares mire about himself than me (he cares about me enough to buy food and those needs for me, but he doesn't care about my emotional needs and stuff). This isn't even a quarter of what he does. I'm honestly getting really upset typing this, because it's making me think about it. Sorry if I sound like I was complaining.
We don't want you to speak up for us, that is MORTIFYING! We want you to act like we're not doing anything. The less reaction the better.
I have no idea what I have but I definitely get overstimulated and for a lot of my life I didn’t have the words to describe what was happening to me. I’m grateful to so many content creators for sharing their experiences and giving me a vocabulary explain my experiences.
My bff is autistic and she grew up having to hide it, and it was very confusing for her because she was diagnosed young but her parents didnt tell her until she was 17. I cant imagine growing up being that confused with why my brain worked a little different then everyone else. And then being treated like she was dumb and told to not show any difference and not telling her.
Wow, that is an awful thing to put your kid through. They seriously put superficial stigmas and/or their hate of changing their behaviors above their child's wellbeing.
😡
I didn't know I had ADHD till after college, and I am forever furious at the man that misdiagnosed me when I was tested in middle school. I couldn't finish college because I didn't have the tools I needed, tools I would have been given in high school if I'd known I actually needed special ed. I only got through high school because the misdiagnosis still gave me some accommodations on timed tests.
Oh that's evil, that's so, SO FOOKEN evil.
This one hurts for how real it is.
Not me literally hair twirl stimming as this swiped up lmaooo
I did this a lot too, including picking at split ends. Now I'm wondering if I'm autistic too, because this is definitely relatable...
@its_mariss1255 very true. But I do have an identical twin who is autistic, so the likelihood of me being autistic is rather high. I've just never been tested
Last week after school I just didn’t feel like talking and was having a minor non-verbal episode. But I was with my mom who wasn’t used to that happening as I usually was with my dad after school and she was used to me just talking nonstop after school. She kept asking me if I was ok and I would nod and just say I didn’t feel like talking when she kept asking and wouldn’t just accept my nods. She then insisted I go to bed early as she thought I was really tired. I was just normal tired. I just didn’t want to talk so I couldn’t really explain to her what was going on which was kinda annoying.
Also during Thanksgiving break we saw Wakanda Forever which was I think what caused the overstimulation but it wasn’t until we were in the car driving home and my mom and sister were talking pretty loudly (well that’s what it felt like to me anyway) that the meltdown officially started. I was curled up, hands over my ears, eyes closed as the lights when I opened them hurt them, and just wanted them to stop. Tears were rolling down my cheeks.
Fortunately this didn’t start until after we dropped of this other kid who was with us back at the place he was staying. I think that’s why the meltdown actually started when it did because I was holding it in but when he left everything just came to he surface.
Been there, so sorry you had to go through that, your family should understand. :/
I have never truly related more to a comment before. I’ve been making myself believe I’m just insanely sensitive and attention seeking. I’ve been trying to mask it and it unsurprisingly has only made it worse. And I also have gotten a few short non-verbal episodes, my environment is so exhausting for me and it can result in me not having the energy to speak. They fortunately only last for a few hours, but they can unfortunately happen every day
Yeah my environment is not the most ideal for me, but I just have to accept it
that’s happened to me
one time my sister and mom were singing loudly in the car and it was too loud but i didn’t want to tell them so i just sat in the back, face in my knees, hands pressed against my ears, eyes closed as tight as possible, crying
i was still crying when we got home so my mom asked me what was wrong so i told her
I get nonverbal episodes a lot when I’m overwhelmed and really helps that I know I’m not the only one who has them, thank you for sharing and I hope your family can be better and more understanding to you :)
Ugh I'm sorry your mum didn't accept 'I don't want to talk'.
As someone who struggles with masking I feel this. People who think masking is "good" and helpful have never masked. It's exhausting and probably lead to my nervous breakdown at seventeen (starting official diagnosis journey in four days).
So hows it going now that you've seen a doctor?
I think a certain degree of masking is good and I mask all the time
Before I knew masking and autism is a thing, it was so bad for me that everything about me is fake, I always end the day in my bedroom, angry and screaming at the pillow, it’s that exhausting. But after learning about it, it helped me embrace unmasking
That's bullshit, autistic adults have to mask to hold a job, ya know, the thing that puts food on the table, clothes on your back, and a roof over your head? Why can't y'all accept that it's a spectrum, and not everyone has the EXACT same experience with ASD
Minority* excuse me I'm half asleep
I never realized how much of my behavior came from my adhd until I started watching your channel
I know, right?! With this video, I realized I actually do have shutdowns. I guess I was under the impression that it was going into a state of complete nonfunction, as opposed to a mild withdrawal. 😂😭😭🥺
As a parent, when i see my kiddo doing this I excuse myself with them to make sure they are good and if not I will help them. if they want to be alone I will make sure they have what they need and are safe before I step away enough for them to be comfortable but I'm still close by enough to be right there if they need me. Nobody is that important to me that I would ignore my kids needs like that.
You're a good parent. 🥹🫡❤️
Maybe set up a handsign so you can communicate to eachother nonverbally, without having to draw attention by having a step outside moment. Sometimes things like that can convey the same type of vibe as the mom here was displaying, ie "this is not acceptable public behaviour". The acceptance of stims needs to change, they work for everyone, to varying degrees, not just neurodivergent people.
Can you adopt me?
@@butterblix I would love to. I'll happily be a mom to everyone who needs a mothers love and care
@@francinebabineau6517 ❤️
my parents basically disowned me lol
With my adhd if someone doesn't leave after the first couple of times of me nicely pushing them away when overstimulated i freak out and yell. I always feel bad after.
It's okay to tell people when you've had enough! From the sounds of it, you get to the point of yelling because you're suppressing your need by hoping the other person will just take the hint, but some people are just oblivious and need to be told directly " Hey I need to go rest now. Loved chatting but I'm emotionally drained now. "
Anyone worth your time will understand that :)
@awhellyeah543 Thank you for the positive support. I will do my best at staying level-headed and keep trying. Thank you!☺️
The best trick is to leave, really.
The toilet is the best place for a quiet break!
I had this happen while in a car once and I wasn’t allowed to leave. One of my biggest regrets to this day but still it’s important to find people who understand when you need a break
Lol my husband says my tism is cute and says " oh you're cute tisms again" whenever I'm stimming❤😅
This is goals ❤
As much as I love my mother, there were things she said to me that neither of us would realise would have such an effect on me after childhood. I went through my entire childhood all the way to early adulthood without knowing I had ADHD, and her saying things like “stop interrupting people” or my dad saying “why are you always fidgeting, stop it” lead to me being incredibly shy, reserved and not as happy as I was as a child. My dad even said “what happened to my happy go lucky little girl, did we do something wrong” when I was a teenager and had social anxiety and depression (ADHD’s best friends). Back then I didn’t really put two and two together.
Note: I do love and appreciate my parents, they didn’t know that what they said would hurt me this way, things have changed since the 90’s and early 00’s,
Same, my mother got annoyed with me fidgeting and moving.
My grandmother unapologetically asks me where I am, whenever I space out.
Naw I'm thankful when people do that, so I don't get embarrassed from looking confused when someone tries to talk to me
@@YSleepish I'm not, I feels really bad when people catch me "lacking" like that. Also, it's really annoying, I space out because I'm tired of hearing my dad explaining to her how the the last 20 years for the fifth time.
I space out with dissociation from ptsd... it's not always autism that spaces out
@@jesssunnex9733 makes sense. How does it feel to you?
does your grandma happen to be german?
As a late diagnosed autistic woman, I have internalized this. Such hard work to relearn and unmask. I am too burned out. I can't constantly mask anymore.
This is painfully relatable 😬
Thank mom.......
That's a lot gentler than my parents were about it...
My parents just hid me
Same
Yeah my dad used to bash my head into the wall and torture me until I was covered in blood thinking that was gonna make me “learn to behave”
The tism!!!! I can’t even. My best friend has autism and he has 5 siblings who all have it as well and they definitely don’t mask the “tism”. I love em all to death tho
My Mom: *looks around* oh hey, I just remembered we have to get going because of that thing, bye!
Me: You're the best Mom, ever.
Mom: I try. 😉
My Mom struggles with words because of suffering a stroke a few years ago, so if there's ever an indication that I'm wanting to leave but am struggling to be honest about it, she just BS's us out of the room. She did that before but it's a lot faster now that people feel bad about her not having a word immediately when talking and accept anything to ease their own discomfort.
ADHD here. My mom's did the same thing to me growing up. Any form of stimming or unmasking was seen as disobedient and I was scolded all the time for it 😢
I feel that
I got yelled at a lot for bouncing my legs, didn’t even know I was doing it most of the time cause I didn’t know about adhd or autism
I'm glad I have recognized & got diagnosed my daughter's neurodivergence/ADHD. I allow her to bounce around when she needs to (as long as it's not completely inappropriate). I've taught her to be aware of her surroundings & people nearby so she doesn't break something or hurt someone. Some of my family does not understand this. Luckily, the ones closest to us now accept it.
hows that disobeying?? u didnt deserve that :(
@@squishyushibeing yelled at for certain movements / noises you can’t control sucks. my dad yelled at me for tearing up cardboard because i felt overwhelmed 😭
Social standards are the judgments no one needs, but everyone follows ! Please know - you are awesome the way you are !
Good God, I'm so thankful that my mom is as neurodivergent as I am and NEVER cared about these things. I only found out I'm weird through interactions with other people. I got a little bullied in pre school, but later I found friends and stopped caring about looking "normal" as my friends were also weird like me. Now as an adult I have to mask a little, but it's manageable, only when necessary. Never on "casual" "social" situations. Mostly on professional scenarios. All thanks to my saint of a mother who never pressured me to act in any way that wasn't natural for me, without having a logical and practical reason for it ❤❤❤ thank you mommy ❤❤
I thought everyone was like me. If they were not like me? There was something wrong with them. It’s me. Lol
Pretty sure im NT but aren't everyone masking in their professional life? Or do they use their customer service voice at home cos its fun??
@@limitedtime5471 yes, I also believe most people act different in a professional scenario. But it's a lot easier for NT people, they can "feel" what is appropriate or not at the same time they're doing it, without having to practice much or rationalize every step of the way. They look at the person they are talking to and just know what to do after a few times on the job, even if it's not how they would prefer to act in other areas of their life. NT can improvise when something unexpected happens at the social interaction quite easily, it just comes naturally to them. They are not being themselves at work, and that can be quite exhausting also, but it's not like ND masking, cause "how to be" doesn't come naturally for the neurodivergents. They have to practice beforehand and pay attention all the time, trying to mimic other people constantly to try and appear "normal". And anything that happens unexpectedly in the interaction causes a lot of distress, leaving the ND lost, and often misunderstood by the other person. Even when masking perfectly, NTs notice that the ND is a little weird, they often know something is "wrong" about the ND, but don't know what, so the ND often ends up being excluded or bullied among their social circle, even at work. Also, NDs don't usually choose something that demands they interact with the general public at work, cause it doesn't work really well. Even if the ND happens to have good social skills, they still get a lot more exhausted than NT doing the same job, usually get burned out and depressed a lot more frequently, get meltdowns and shutdowns over things considered "small" by the NTs.
You are so incredibly lucky. Thank your mom for all the millions (probably billions) of us who didn't get good parenting. Esp us divergies.
Yeah... no. We all do that here. If people act weird about it in public, we all dance and since and make noises! Its super fun for us and usually everyone but the rude people laugh with us. 💯 Don't look at my kids like they should be embarrassed... we will let you embarrass yourself while we have fun! 😉
I am have recently diagnosed with autism. I realize that I have been masking for a long time. I am still learning a lot. I am learning to be patient with myself as well as have compassion.
I am RIDICULOUSLY lucky to be in a family of 100% autism.
I've never had to deal with pressure to mask, and I never will.
Wow, that must have been heavenly growing up
@@Indigobo1 It has been. I take it for granted a lot of the time.
My entire family has adhd and me and my stepbrother have autism so it’s a bit rough but they don’t judge me (too much lol)
One of my stims is flexing my fingers in and out of weird positions (think of Kaiba's hand from the DSOD poster) and one of my coworkers asked me about it because she thought I was hurt. I was like, "oh, no, I'm just autistic"
She stared at me for a second before putting her hands on her hips and saying "you know so many things you do make so much more sense, but I never would have guessed if you hadn't said that"
I was just like "🙃 I'm good at masking"
"AUGH MY BLUE-EYES SUMMONING HAND!" I just saw this comment, and I had to :D
Hahaha that's actually really funny 😂 she sounds like a sweet and understanding lady
This is so true for anxiety too lol people think I’m spacing out but really I am paralyzed from over thinking and too much stimuli
You might be autistic do a test. On the internet, it would be a preview but a doctor can give you a real one.
I scratch at my chin without realizing it. Make very strange facial expressions that close friends have pointed out. Really need to find a way in Ontario for a fast diagnosis. Every quiz I do I’m in the 90 percent range. It’s really helping me make sense of all of the things I do…and don’t get done…thanks for your content sweetie! You’re helping so many by being so honest and vulnerable. Sending love and blessings! 💖🙌💖
My mom, as a SENCO at a primary school, she would never tell me to mask. She’d realize what was going on and give me permission to go into another room to calm down. She’ll also ask if I needed anything. My mom means so much to me me I love her so much and I’m very grateful to have her support and understanding
I dunno why but it always cracks me up when they refer to it as "the tism"
I do this all the time but im pretty sure its my social battery running out 😭 not autism
That’s fair if you don’t have other autistic traits then it’s likely got another reason. Everyone stirs, autistic people like myself just stim more and it helps regulate other symptoms like sensory overload or sensory seeking.
To all the non-autistics being offended at "tism" dont be, we aren't. That was mad funny ngl
Also, isnt tism just short for autism????
Except that if you go through the comments you'll see there are some that definitely are just cause your autistic and it doesn't bother you does not mean it doesn't bother others
@@gumblebrum I don't think it's the word itself that people are finding offensive. I think it's the fact that it's supposed to be someone that "cares" about you being embarrassed by stimming that is offensive.
I’m autistic and I don’t really like it if it’s not someone I’m close to saying it to me but I’m not offended by it lol
"Your tism is showing"? WTF?
Well, the tism was showing
@@YSleepish the way I was laughing. People thought I was choking.
i have to heavily mask myself in school and today evening was the worst. I was in second last period which was English and we had chromebooks to finish typing out a short story as our assignment and people started talking very loudly and blasting memes which was funny until i became heavily overstimulated and i couldn't concentrate on my work and my friend kept asking me if i was ok and I'm pretty sure this is one of my first times i actually kind of went non verbal. Now that i look back i should have spoken to my english because she's the sweetest teacher I've ever had and gives good advice
People should have kept quiet until everyone was finished.
As a person with the tisum I don't really think that word is offensive but I guess it just depends on the person
I DO THAT SAME STIM, loved to know someone that do this too
My daughter does it too.
🙋🏻♀️ not quite like that but very close
I DO IT TOO!:D
Miiii
I'm always braiding my hair no matter what, either that or playing with my hands, or biting my tongue.
I have severe ADHD and this is how I deal with public situations; so personally if I ever see someone doing something like that, I'm generally more comfortable around them
Completely relate to that, it's such hard work masking. Try and be yourself the best you can be!
me: _"...and?"_
Once I had a friend take my glasses (per my permission) and when they went to put them back on my face I reacted and they stopped,handed me my glasses and said “you seemed to not like that so here you go” it wasn’t loud or rude or anything it was quiet and respectful of my boundaries and space and I kinda realized right then that I was in fact allowed to tell people I didn’t want to be touched or harassed, something I didn’t really think i could do before
I think symptoms get more prominent when you are tired. I have ADHD and I was cycling between death and resurrection the whole lecture on top of dealing with stimuli from everywhere I was sitting.
"your 'tism is showing" 😭😭😭
That's so real tho. I have family members who would see that i'm in distress and tell me to keep it together to not make them look bad, rather than help me navigate the situation or anythg helpful. it sucks :(
That’s terrible 😣 I hope it can get better for u
@@HoneyduckXD thank you!!
This is only bad if she doesn’t like being called out like this. I don’t have the best hearing (and I’m Mexican) so I naturally talk louder. I tell my dad in certain situations to let me know if I’m talking loud so I don’t get embarrassed if someone I don’t know we’ll tells me
It's not the callout, per se, that was addressed by the video. It's that she's overwhelmed and not okay and her mother, instead of comforting or offering alternatives or anything healthy or helpful, tells her to hide it. That's a common theme for kids who display "abnormal behaviours" like this (neurodivergent kids) because their brain is... not "normal". It's an extremely unhealthy suppression of who a person is and how they cope with things in healthy ways. Many of us who have experienced it have been deeply scarred by it, to the point of feeling uncomfortable displaying "normal" (to us) behaviours. Behaviours that would typically make us feel better, but having been taught that doing that is fundamentally wrong, can actually increase anxiety. (Until we unlearn the harmful behaviour patterns taught to us.)
I realized my most common stim is adjusting, I adjust my rings, my bracelets, my necklace, my pants, my shirt, my glasses, my bra, etc. When I'm not listening to music (which is clearly my favorite stim, especially if I move or sing to the music) then I'm constantly adjusting things.
When i got told to mask i always replied with "maybe i wouldn't be so overwhelmed if y'all weren't that loud, obnoxious, selfish POS" and stormed out the room. We need to stand up for ourselves because nobody Else will.
My child speech/ social skill is good now and response to name has improved too. Thank you Dr Oyalo
nah fr. but the "oh honey your tism is showing" is mainly me to myself trying to mask to NOT seem so autistic because im terrified of being judged. im really monotone, deep voice, sound kinda dead inside (i am 👌🏼) and my face does not show much emotion either the second im not alone because other people seeing me have emotions...ew...makes me mad uncomfortable it's like a switch goes off instinctively but it's so fucking hard at work because i work retail (there is absolutely nothing else i could do for work my ideal job is impossible for me to accomplish) and it's so hard to seem...not autistic because i come across as not friendly sometimes or a bunch of negative shit bc im very anti social and awkward which i hate because scared of judgment ): i have severe general anxiety social anxiety agoraphobia ocd and selective mutism too so work is a fuckin nightmare daily fighting with myself to act not fucked up in the head 😭 don't come at me for saying im fucked up in the head yall not saying everyone with these issues is but....i sure as hell am lol😭 i got depression and bipolar disorder too i AM messed up in the head lmaoo
I'm really good at masking if I may toot my own horn for a moment. But damn now that is biting me in the ass now that I have a romantic partner. Not that he's mean about it or anything but I will be the happiest fucker in the world just because I'm next to him but because I'm comfortable and not masking I will be sitting there with a neutral face and not saying anything. And he'll ask me what's wrong if it lasts too long. It makes me love him more but damn it's probably time to just tell him it's a bit of the 'tism
I feel you I’m the same x same same people never changed history ! Look at all the quirky artists x
Yeah and it's bullsh*t sorry my issues I was born with because of you wanting a child is so bad and an inconvenience for you. That's what I tell my parents and friends and others get a okay don't hangout with me then because they know how I act and have to cope so if they don't like it or are embarrassed they can leave. I had to put up with that crap my whole life but when I became an adult I cut off everyone who was toxic and honestly my mental health has gotten better and with my therapist and doctors I have learned so much and am able to cope and function alot easier. But if I would have stayed with toxic people I would have ended up dead or arrested. People are d*cks. But I love your videos and I am so glad I have someone who posts videos about it. Its nice to know others who deal with similar issues. ❤❤
I only recently got diagnosed with ADHD and I do fidget intensely when not judged or reprimanded for it but my mother has ALWAYS hated it and tried to supress it.
A few years ago, I went over to a friend's house, was absentmindedly using one of my "covert fidget toys" (I think it was a pebble I really like or a bracelet) and he asked about it.
When I explained that it helped me be more calm and concentrated, he went "wait, I've got something for you." and lent me his metallic mini rainbow slinky to use for the rest of the evening.
Not only that but none of the people present, including the mentioned friend's parents, said anything about it or gave me weird looks or ANYTHING despite the very obvious movement and noise.
It was the first time I experienced a group of people that size including people I considered "proper adults" be that accepting of (what I say the time thought were my quirks and what I now know for certain to be) symptoms of my ADHD.
It made me extremely happy and that small act of kindness in itself mellowed me out for the evening.
I think about that experience a lot, especially when I'm afraid to ask people to be patient with me or accepting of things I need to be comfortable.
Whatching this while doing that thing with my hair 😢😢
My mom once yelled at me to uncover my ears at a basketball game. A BASKETBALL GAME
I know people that hate for others to know they are autistic.
A lot of people, a staggering amount actually believe any deviation in the experience of life from theirs and the person must be faking or seeking attention. Too many close minded people cant understand that the vastness of experiences available here to us in this realm is as vast as the universe itself
"Your tysm is showing"
Thank You So Much
I wrote a song called “Masked” it’s about masking autism, but it’s also relatable to others
omfg this hits so hard :(
Just hit me that the hair thing (that I do a lot) is a coping thing. Don’t know why I didn’t think of it before
what. is that not a normal thing to do? i thought everyone did that.
She's not saying that playing with your hair the way she was is a symptom of autism, lots of people in these comments seem to think that, she's showing a common interaction between neurotypical people and autistic people, in which the autistic person displays a stim/symptom because they're overwhelmed, and the neurotypical person finds it strange/rude/weird/ or it makes them uncomfortable, and the autistic person is forced to make themselves further over stimulated and less regulated to fit in
Tism is not a slur. It's a phrase used within some parts of the community.
Ugh, this video brought back memories of how I’d get tapped under a table with a leg… and I knew that meant “I’m embarrassed of you right now, stop doing that, you’re making everyone uncomfortable”. How funny, because this is me displaying that I AM UNCOMFORTABLE! 😣🤦🏻♀️😅🤷🏻♀️ Processing forgiveness about that, because ‘ouch’. The message, that I better tug that mask up a little higher, is so destructive. I see you. ❤
This is me when I have to visit my family. It’s takes me at least a week to get over it.
I've just straight up started bringing activities to family and friend gatherings, even if nobody else is doing them. I'll join in on the conversations, but crochet or draw all along, and I don't get overstimulated as easily!
That, or I'll braid my hair. That's more culturally acceptable than most of my stims, and I've always stimmed with my hair anyway. A fishtail braid will take a loooong time.
“And?” *goes back to stimming cause if I’m in shutdown mode I ran out of energy for masking*
Claim you’re sick and go home.
I have that exact star wars mug. The light sabre blades show up when there's hot liquid inside it. Very cool. Also I imagine there are many an autist who enjoy owning various fandom novelty mugs as well as me.
Pulling the front pieces of my hair mindlessly or rocking back and forth not even realizing I’m moving.
When I was younger I was told. "You need to know it, be perfect, or shut up." I was either stimming or hyperfocus reading. I had a diagnosis of ADHD amd later, much later, autism. I was good at masking.
Yesterday I was so overwhelmed that when my mom took me to the store to get my drawing tablet fixed and the guy said it would be $200 to fix I just shut down. I was jerking my head and scratching at my neck, and I was so embarrassed. I don’t have diagnosed autism, but I feel like I have it and I have for a while.
Just curious have you been diagnosed?
@@AmeliaEarhart537 they said they haven’t been diagnosed.
@@a.h.3456 This comment was one year ago. He or she could've been diagnosed since then.
💜Jesus loves you so much! If you are going through something hard, he will help you get through this! Ilysm!😊💜
I hate when people do that, leave me be... I'm just overstimulated or overwhelmed, I just need a few minutes alone.
I notice I stim a lot during work because of the masking I’m having to do. Since I’m working with patients, I can’t very well “be myself” all the time. It’s exhausting.
When we are having our team huddles I’m always swaying side to side while our team lead tells us all the stuff for clinic that day. I have few co-workers that see me start doing that… and instead of telling me to stop they start doing it too. That way I don’t feel so weird being the only spaz that can’t stand still.
I love my co-workers. They do say things like, “we’re all a little autistic/adhd”. But when they say it… I can tell they mean it as I’m not weird alone and they’ll be weird with me. They’re really supportive. They don’t tell me stop doing things… they just do it with me. First time I’ve ever had this in a work place.
❤
My mom forced me to repress my stims so hard it turned into subtle self-harming behaviours like digging my nails into my palms until the bled, and (gross warning) pulling the skin away from under my nails until they slightly detached from the nail bed, and later on developing trichotillomania.
Just freaking let your kids stim, okay???
My mother displays her stim behaviour by picking at her acne and taught me that was the only acceptable expression. Because digging at your infected acne wounds is far more socially acceptable public behaviour than shaking your hands or twirling your hair.... >.< Fortunately I learned young that my family was broken and started studying psychology. Still working on unmasking, it goes so very deep, but I am more and more comfortable as myself x)
Just let humans act humanely!!
I grew up in the 80's and didn't get diagnosised until this year. And I was always told to act like a lady, no sucking my thumb, no having my blanket with me, no having stuff animals with me, No having anything that would help me stay calm. Being told NO was so common that I started masking at 4 years old, which is when I started school. I am just now unmasking and trying to be my true self.
Alternate Title:
"Tutorial - How To Make Your Neurodivergent Child Go No Contact With This One Simple Trick!"
💀😭
This!!!
Just got diagnosed with ASD 1 in my fifties. Finally realized what has been going on my entire life. Masking to fit in is basically acting. It was always so exhausting at family get togethers. I wondered why I was so tired all my life. So much pressure society puts on us. Now I tell myself that it's ok and am learning ways to cope in social events. I'm trying harder each day to be me my authentic self, the way God made me.
"stop fidgeting" and having my hands smacked or the thing pulled away 😢
I took drama/acting classes as a kid since we would also have to perform a play for an audience to so we originally took it to get better at my speech and public speaking but it just made it so much easier to mask or act/pretend while we were in public or around others. Usually feels like oddly performing a character
If someone has a problem with it, tell them to f off this is how you are and they can either deal with it or walk away. That makes it seem like they are embarrassed of you.
My daughter and I say that about her daughter (my granddaughter) “her tism is showing” or “her tism is coming out” or “yup, that’s the tism”. Sometimes it’s easier to look at each other and smile than to worry. By the way, the child is 3 and not diagnosed yet but we are working on that. She will be supported by us all.
I pretty much self-taught masking when I was bullied to death for being myself. It started as an elementary school kid, and I just learned more and more ways to copy the "normal" kids until I became mostly indistinguishable or "acceptibly nerdy" enough to be passible. 🙃🙃 Did not get a ADHD dx til I was an adult, and looking into the possibility of it being AuDHD (aka being ASD and ADHD at the same time). It seems like my oldest is also ND and I'm glad I can be more supportive than my parents who just truly didn't know a thing about being ND, although I suspect my mother is ND herself (never diagnosed obv, but showing many signs of ADHD herself).
My stepson is autistic and can now communicate the best feeling ever x
Im 20 and beginning a journey to have my diagnosis
My little sister (9yo) just got it
But i was a perfect student and really like obedient child and my parents thought I was like everyone else. But I was masking sooooo hard. Its very confusing now but I hope I'm gonna find my way.
I got diagonsed in my mid-teens to this might not apply to you, and i apologise now if i sound at all condescending or rude (tone is something i struggle with a lot) but if i can offer some advice from my own experience. For me i was diagnosed at 13, and due to how the school system and other help places are run where i live, i was "too old" or "coping too well" to receive much help and spent all of my tome in high school heavily masking and forcing my way though but due to that i REALLY struggle to unmask now as i convinced my brain it wasn't safe. If you can, i suggest trying to break that behaviour, if only somewhat as soon as you can. (Though only if it is safe and comfortable for you. As i'm aware that some people aren't somewhere that it would be safe to do so or is something that some people as is now my case don't really have any kind of control over). Again, please take this advice with a grain of salt as it is highly personalised to me, but from my own experience in a slightly similar situation, i wanted to see if i could help you with something that is now a major problem for me.
I've tried masking it hardly works..how you mask pls tell me..
Me, picking my lips in public and my mother yelling at me to stop when it’s literally calming me down so much
Not my mom my entire childhood and until now, still dœsn't understand how autism and adhd work on me and that I can't help it. No wonder I live so far from her for so many years now 😅
Still love her, she's actually doing her best, it's just uneasy for her to learn how to deal with that, even more kowing the rest of the family and their conception of those problems... They defenitely don't help about it.
The best part of my friends and family… is that we don’t talk about stims. We only interfere if it’s harmful- like when I can’t stop picking my cuticles until they bleed.
❤
« your tism is showing » just call me a slur atp
You give people too much power when anything they say can hurt your feelings. It's like you're giving them power over what you're feeling on any given day and are therefore dependent that they only say nice things to you at all times. Don't be a victim, grow a thicker skin
@jraqn Agreed. Her own mother works to shut down her natural coping mechanisms while being fully aware of her diagnosis.
It’s just a skit, but it’s imitating real life for too many children. Eh, maybe these kids just need to “grow a thicker skin” when their parents do harm.
@@AnnabelNightwish i call that "emotion shaming". you are telling a victim that they are wrong for having and feeling emotion instead of addressing the abuse that caused the emotion in the first place.
of course in a parent/child relationship, a parent has power over "what you are feeling any given day", it's a parent/child relationship, it's not always going to be nice, but there is a big difference between "not nice" and hurling abusive language at someone you have authority over.
"being a victim" is not a self inflicted action. it is not something one can chose to be. it is a status inflicted by another. it is impossible for a person to "not be a victim".
"grow thicker skin" and when the person who tells you that can't, they will resort to a louder, and more forceful voice. from personal experience, you can't be "the victim" if you yell louder, use crasser insults and abuse them more. then THEY are the victims. there is no good outcome from this.
@@pathevermore3683 this is a TH-cam comment section, not a college English course. If the Internet hurts your feelings, maybe you need to distance yourself from the hurt instead of demanding that people treat you special for no other reason than "my feewins huwt"
@AnnabelNightwish poor baby, did my reply offend you? This is the internet not your personal safe space. If you can't handle adult conversation then I suggest you get off the internet. You are too soft and sensitive.
💔 that’s basically what my childhood-young adult life was. That was so triggering but that’s okay because:
Fast forward to now where I encourage every stim or coping strategies that both my autistic kids need.
As a mom of a 2 year old little boy who was recently diagnosed with Autism this breaks my heart why wasn't the response "oh honey do you want to go home?" Being overstimulated sucks and when I am overstimulated I just want to go home not sit there and pretend like I am not overstimulated.
Hello im 11 and i been diagnosed with autism since i was 3 or 4 and i have just now realised that i mask like alot and i didnt realise as someone who has 2 older autistic brothers i think my family should have noticed but you know its fine plus im really quiet and stuff so yeah❤
I did not know my daughter had auhd but situations like this I always asked if she wants to draw. Still helps in stressful situations.
“Tism” sounds like a slur. I’m not autistic but that kinda bothered me. 😂
As an autistic person - i can confirm “-tism” is not offensive to me, so please don’t be offended on my behalf.
“Oops your tism is showing” actually made me laugh out loud.
@@CharliStar Thank you for adding your opinion, it’s always good to get input from someone who has that issue.
@@IsaBennett100 I am a walking medical library of illness and disorders - if you want to ask anything else : feel free..! I can answer ab awful lot having so many different issues all inside the one body. Mental, neurological and physical I have them all 😂😅
It's probably dependent on the context of the comment and the relationship you have with the person saying it.
For example if this is being said by a close group of friends who know you with no ill intent, just humour and giggles. No red flag.
But it would be a different situation if its a bully or someone abusive thats trying to cause upset and hurt. That's a red flag.
Individuals, use & context are key to this.
I'm also autistic and hearing it bothered me, but only because the person who said it is meant to be like an unsupportive family member or "friend", who said it in a weird way. I don't have people like this in my life so it probably be funny to me in real life.
When someone is so overwhelmed that it's affecting them physically the best way you can help them calm down is to tell them to stop looking how they feel!! It's going to make them feel loved and supported and not more overwhelmed and self-conscious because they're being shamed. The same way that if someone's depressed just telling them you should smile more will instantly cure their depression!!! Such a good parenting move and definitely not neglectful! If no one can see that you're upset then magically you won't be anymore right?
TISM? This Is Serious Mum? They've got some bangers, I haven't listened to them in a while.