Yeah, i also use my bed for watchin stuff bcuz im just physically less able than many other folk; so i just need to rest more I stillve a hard time switchin to actually goin to slp tho; even tho i can fall aslp rly fast
No joke. All the time I'm thinking about how I badly need some friends and how badly I don't want them to call me. I'm a traffic light that's perpetually stuck on yield.
I have a quote on my refrigerator that I read every day: "Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self." -May Sarton I live like a hermit and I love it, but there are times when I'm sitting and feeling restless, like I want to text someone because I'm feeling a bit lonely. But I don't text anyone because I really don't want to. LOL
I generally prefer solitude as socializing is quite draining and most often gives me little reward. Most conversations are small talk and can almost be painful
@@brianmeen2158 I can relate to that. Few people want to have meaningful discussions about serious and/or specific topics. Plus, my desire to talk is completely binary-either I want to talk a lot or not at all.
If I could give a word of advice to any of my fellow autistics who worry about identifying as autistic, it would be not to worry. While there are a lot of hateful martyr parents out there who will tell you you don’t deserve the label “autistic” unless you have a co-occurring intellectual disability or very intensive support needs, they’re full of it and have no understanding of what the autistic spectrum even is. If you fall anywhere on that spectrum, whether you’re formally diagnosed or self-diagnosed, you’re entitled to use the label “autistic,” period.
"I can't hear you, the lights are too bright" hit home hard for me. There's so many times where I just freeze doing whatever I'm doing because there's too much going on around me and all I can manage to blurt out is "There's too much going on... I can't think"
This is so me. My employer had to buy fabric covers to put over the overhead lights because I was paralyzed under the fluorescent lights. I couldn’t even talk because it was so bright. Now I have a fabric cover that looks like the night sky with stars. I have ADHD.
I literally gasped when you said "wishing other people asked good questions, too!" I feel like physical discomfort when people ask bad (imo) questions! It's agonizing lol!
from my experience, people mostly don't ask any questions, let alone bad ones they just like to talk about themselves and want you to ask *them* questions about themselves when they hint at something I've only had my parents ask bad questions
That hit hard for me. What is even worse is when those questions are actually entertained and answered. It makes me think less of the boss/whoever answers them. Like, Can't you see how obvious it is? Tell that person to read what we were given and STFU!
The one that hits me the hardest is the inability to focus around injustice- and the fact that you immediately acknowledge “This isn’t like the way everyone is upset by injustice “. YES! It makes me absolutely bonkers, and then to try to explain it to NTs, I just get “Well life’s not fair”. AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
oh yea... sure, life isn't fair. but the moment we don't even notice the unfairness any more... can't be good. even if we can't fix it, at the very least we have to clearly state what is. don't we? otherwise.... how do we have the same reality? and a solid ground of reality to act on? otherwise reality just falls apart... and nothing feels real...
Sadly, this was the reason I kept switching majors in college. I get everything has its dark side, but it's so hard to keep working towards something that makes you feel icky about being a part of. I always felt super bad about changing it cause it'd always felt like I should have just sucked it up like everyone else in that major ("oh you're being too sensitive about it, what can you do about it that's life!"). But my anxiety around it was so bad I had to literally change my major just to focus on mental health.
"Well life isn't fair." My answer from now on will be: it shouldn't be revolutionary to think that it should be, you should not be comfortable with being treated unfairly, you deserve better, and should demand better.
@@KidarWolf you composed a beautiful mini-speach. the kind of thing that can be put on a toombstone. what pops into my mind immediatly is the "answer": "why not? life is largly impacted by the sociaty we live in. we make the sociaty we live in... so you... grown ups, old people... made it. why didn't you make it fair? and why are you trying to make me belive that it can not be made fair? what's wrong with you?"
So true!! At work, I got berated for not taking my lunch on time even though I took it as early as I could. I was working with someone I never had before, so we didn't know each other's schedules and it got messy. I didn't understand what I could have done differently, because the way I saw it, either I took my lunch late or my coworker did, and either way one of us would get in trouble. After getting talked to about it, I wasn't able to focus on my job until I further spoke with the manager about forty minutes later
I got all of them! Hesitating to use the word “autistic” really got me. Not only do I do that, but I’m worried that if fully unmask people might think I’m pretending to be autistic 😞
Omg I currently going through this too. Especially that now summer is approaching, I pass for someone who’s complaining too much about the heat, the light, sweating. I always got the response it’s summer get over it. Now I know why I’m so exhausted on summer days. I really wish I could say : it’s because I’m autistic that I can’t bare all those little things like everyone else, be indulgent and stop judging. But guess what I don’t have enough strength to say it out loud even to my parents. Being paint as overdramatic it’s what is keeping me of using the term.
@@natalialeisi im so sorry to hear you're being treated like this and i unfortunately relate a LOT. ive found that finding neurodivergent friends, or even just friends period who are willing to listen even if you were "complaining" can be very validating in that regard, although i know it's a LOT easier said than done. wishing you the best
Only got 19. I embraced it, the label of Autism being that it made everything make sense. But I kept feeling questioned, as if I didn't truly deserve the consideration?... Having watched this I feel somewhat vindicated.
Oh my gosh, so so true! I feel like not only people will totally shun me for saying that I'm autistic ("but you don't look it"), but if and when I try to unmask they'll think I'm pretending or acting ( "you've been fine until now, so why can't you cope all of a sudden?")
@@katarzynasoyka8538 that’s why I’m really glad I found the community. It brings comfort to be understood and validated. I thrive to hope it will change for the best around us and that we found some people that can be understanding too. 🫶🏽🍀
23 for me. Routines aren't sacred for me, I'm actually terrible at keeping them, BUT I get really frustrated at surprise changes to my day. That sounds like I have a routine but the thing is my days aren't the same, but when I have an idea of how my day is going to go and then something changes that at the last minute I don't have a good time. I explained this to my wife and now she is great at making lunch plans with me a couple days in advance instead of calling me and asking if I want to get lunch in a couple hours. The other one I don't have is the caffeine/alcohol/meds one. Caffeine might have a reduced effect on me though.
Same on the routines, but I'm pretty sure I'm AuDHD so routines just aren't a thing for me, as much as I desperately wish I could have *some* structure in my life. The other one is sticking to safe foods, I absolutely love food and there's very little I won't eat.
@captainadequate3951 oh now I'm pretty sure I'm AuDHD as well. The ADHD traits don't seem as prominent in my life but going down the diagnostic criteria I think every one of them is present.
@@AlyVee33 Talking? I can't not listen to talking. I was able to sleep when they were literally building a house around me, but whisper in my vicinity and I'm widely awake in an instant
Thank you so much for this. In my 55th year things are finally starting to make sense. I thought everyone needed to sit alone in a dark, quiet, cold room for at least one hour during a party.
I have so much empathy that, I can feel bad about a spoon being alone in the drawer. I'm undiagnosed, but I got 17 on the bingo card. I'm 61 years old and got diagnosed with adhd at 59. It's tough right now being empathic. I have to take mental health breaks because I follow a lot of news and activists. I cannot understand the hate these days. I just subscribed, thank you for talking about, what can be, overwhelming empathy.
of course. I have a couple more videos on empathy if you're interested. Here's one over empathy and burnout that might be helpful: th-cam.com/video/TZPJbDjU9r0/w-d-xo.html
@@howcanikeepfromsinging I used to feel ridiculous because of it. Seeing all the hate these days made me grateful for my empathy and sense of justice. I wouldn't want to be any other way.
I can feel this type of empathy too! I always thought that I was the only one. Every time I've expressed these feelings, I've been made fun of or people think that I'm joking.
I think this is because to most autistic people, questions are a tool to structure and transfer information, while to most allistic people, a big part of asking questions is about the social interaction. They ask questions not because they want to know something, but because they want to show interest, show that they're participating in the process. I've also found that allistic people seem much more willing to accept answers that aren't really answers at all. For allistic people, asking and answering questions seems not to be about exchanging information, but about affirming the relationship between the speakers, often while leaving potential conflict points implicit. Many allistic people are deeply insecure about disagreeing with other people.
I never wondered about questions.. but.. especially as a kid in comparison to other kids... I often felt as if they didn't see. so many brilliant details in this world and they walk past them without noticing. I frequently asked myself "do they not see? how do they not see?" I'm not diagnosed. just seemed to me that this is related.
People wanna get mad at the socially inept, but they don't wanna pause & ask them what they're thinking or feeling in the bad moments then help them go through each thought & question that keeps getting in the way of functioning peacefully & efficiently.
I’m autistic and I work in architecture. If you’d like to know about what’s behind walls and how houses are built I’d love to talk about it for way too long lol
It's a beautiful career, I even considered it, but I went for software engineering. Now I understand more my absolute urge that no one should modify or touch any line of code I write. Even if the most inefficient way, unless it's bad coded and it's giving crashes, I'm NOT changing it. My weird way of programming now starts to make sense. 20 years later.
Oh my days!!! I'm looking into it too!! I've been wanting to do it forever but things have been changing and it's stressing me out. I don't know if I'll ever be able to study it anymore...In fact I dont even know what my future looks like anymore.
Hi! I was diagnosed about two years ago with being a high masking Autistic w\SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder). I have all of those and then some. I have a problem telling people that I am Autistic because I usually ge the reaction, "Well you don't look Autistic." That sentence really makes me want to find a corner and hide. There are so many things wrong with that sentence for me and I have a hard time processing a rebuttal that I find myself just standing there with a blank look on my face. I also hit about 99 % of everything on your card. But one I would add, is that rhetorical questions confuse the heck out of me. I am not sure whether they really want me to answer the question or not. Thank you for your channel and it's content. It has been very helpful on my journey through understanding myself.
Speaking from personal experience, "research mode" is surprisingly useful for preparing good-quality presentations/articles. The desire to *exhaustively* understand a topic tends to lead down rabbit holes and consume time, but you can then pull out all kinds of cross-links and parallels that can potentially help others understand the topic too. Recently late-diagnosed at 30.
You become a pattern recogniser. EG I’m a horsemanship coach, and I can draw parallels to explain why people should do XYZ with their horses from anywhere- defensive driving, dating, dieting, and a bunch of anything that doesn’t start with ‘D’ too 😅
I have to do some research in my work but I fall down 🐇 holes all the time. I'm also under fairly strict time restrictions for project completion. I struggle to find a happy medium. Timers are becoming my new best friends ❤
It's more "How many did i *not* check off?" I will listen to a song over and over again, but due to being AuDHD, that song on repeat changes to another one after a few days. Even at 39, I look for new music to listen to more than anyone else I know.
Same. The next time I'll listen that song is in a store, club, someone else's playlist in the car or elevator. And then maybe, just maybe, it'll be like listening to it fir the first time...
My sister works with autistic kids and she has been telling me I must be autistic because I share so many personality traits with them. I'm 39 years old and have never been diagnosed but I check all of those. Thank you for this. It's nice to think I may come by my quirks honestly.
* People pleasing tendencies * Routines are sacred * Trouble getting into bed * Knowing more about others than yourself * Not wanting to be alone but feeling lonely (repeated 5 times) * Listening to the same song over and over * Stomach issues * Sticking to safe foods * Triggered by light touch * Needing extra time to process what someone just said * "I can't hear you" * Making a list then immediately hating it * Research mode * Sitting in your car for longer than you intended to * Headphones make things better * Sensitive to caffeine/alcohol/meds * Feeling what others are feeling * Wanting to be alone but feeling lonely * Needing to know "WHY?" * Not wanting to be called autistic * Wishing other people asked good questions, too * Comfy clothes always * Easily upset by injustice * "Why isn't everyone as blunt as me?" * Planning things perfectly and being unable to execute
This is me. As I sit in my car in the Walmart parking lot watching this and crying. My fiancee hates that I ask so many questions. I feel that they are totally necessary to move on with whatever is going on. I still don't know why this wasn't seen when I was younger.
Unsolicited Advice: If your fiance isn't willing to watch videos like this & do some research to try and understand how your brain works, then they're not good enough for you.
Random example I was always the person asking questions to the teachers and professors about specific details in lectures but always hated it because the fact that no one else was asking any questions made me feel like they already knew the answers and that made me fell dumb. I was always wondering why I was the only one (or one of the few people) asking questions, even if they were simple clarification questions. It's comforting knowing I'm not the one one here.
I scored 22. I got diagnosed autistic at age 29. I suspected for a few years before that. I was hesitant to refer to myself as autistic for fear of being wrong and misrepresenting myself at the expense of "truly" autistic people. Glad I know better now. Research mode brought me to this video lol. Thanks for sharing
@@knrdvmmlbkkn You mean you went to a doctor for some unrelated thing and they were like, "whoa, you're autistic AF. Let's do something about that." ???
@@stratfender89In Australia you get diagnosed by a psychologist or a psychiatrist, but it can be a long process and expensive too - sometimes you can get help from Medicare
Sometimes I take weeks or even months to process things that are said to me. I’ve always said that’s what made me good at de-escalating angry patients in the ER and the psych unit. Angry people will try to insult staff and I just don’t get when it’s happening lol.
I think this is why I get along with my narcissist coworker the best of all our staff -- when she's being passive-agressively insulting, I usually don't notice, much less react. 😹
A logical person won't get angry because they know the person is unwell and it's not a personal offense. And ASD people should be highly logical. But that's one reason why I often think this is being overdiagnosed. It seems to me (not a professional) that someone reacting emotionally to a offended insult like that is probably traumatized/attachment disordered, not ASD. And the overlap between the two is huge.
Oh gosh, this is me with customers at work! I've always just stood there and let them vent over whatever is bugging them while I'm doing whatever I need to (I'm a pharmacy tech now, but the many times over the years I've had people just chew me out is ridiculous!). Either that, or I have NO CLUE that they're even insulting me and someone will have to come and tell me "Hey, you don't have to take that." One of my old bosses absolutely refused to let people treat me like that, and couldn't understand why I just didn't seem to care. Then again, back then, *I* had no clue that I was even doing that and just assumed it was a skill I'd developed.
I'm the opposite sadly, I recognise passive aggression and then get angry at the person and blow things out of proportion. I'm sensitive in general and have gotten fired/walked out of jobs because of this.
I turn the music down when I need to look both ways while driving. Some songs (that are my current repeat song) drive me to tears because I feel the music so intensely. When I was a teen, my obsession song was American Pie. I used to call radio stations and BEG them to play the long version (it's 14 minutes long) and my dad eventually just bought me the CD. I remember sitting in the kitchen for an entire day listening to the same song on loop. But the one that really got me was the empathy one. I have had full-on panic attacks in theaters because I was feeling what the people in the movies were feeling so intensely I couldn't control myself. I now have a list of rules for the type of movies I can and cannot watch and how the people I'm with need to react when I have to step out or cover my face/head during the movie.
When my boys were little I used to say (I didn't know I was autistic) "If you ask me now I will say no". That gave me time to actually listen when I was in a better mental space I also say to my support workers "I don't read body language well, so if I ask for something you are not comfortable doing just say no - that will make my life so much easier when I don't have to second guess myself"
I remember that I saw a 'bingo card' on Insta on autism and it finally clicked that I don't just have ADHD, I'm autistic+ADHD, and the phrase of the card that made me realize this was something along the lines of "at school being kinda bullied but also being friends with everyone"
man this comment made me realize maybe i was covertly bullied by some people and just never noticed cuz i was such a happy kid and teen. kind of oblivious to negative things, if i am remembering correctly.
I can't afford to pursue a diagnosis right now so I've been on a research journey for a couple of years now, and this is the first I've ever heard someone mention the transition thing and I really relate. I always thought it was just being unmotivated due to depression and anxiety but maybe there is more to it.
@Mom on the Spectrum I'm so thankful for channels like yours because it has helped me so much with better understanding neurodivergence and therefore myself. So much of what I have learned from seeing others actually talk about their experiences is not mentioned in self tests or I guess what you would call "clinical" information that is provided. Or a lot of it actually contradicts the "symptoms" listed. Thank you for videos like this, it's so helpful. :)
I have the transition thing a lot. One of the times when I tend to snack on things I shouldn't is when it's time to change activities -- when I've finished my household chores and have a chance to work on a hobby, for example. I used to do it when I got home from work in the afternoon. And I love dozing off in my chair instead of going to bed at a proper bedtime.
This resonated with me. Just getting up and going to bed. Such a simple thing that can make the next day so miserable. So, wondering how I can fix this.
The way I use IMDB while watching a movie because I need to know the actors and extras about said movie. It drives my husband nuts. I am not diagnosed but I am either autistic with adhd or adhd with autistic tendencies but not actually autistic. Even without the diagnosis, knowing this about myself has been extremely helpful for me to accept myself.
I do this too! I just spent Rocky 1-4 researching every actor that interested me. Did you know Sylvester Stalones second son, Seargeoh, was diagnosed with Autisim at the age of 3? Stalone and his wife established a research fund for Autisim administered by the National Society for Children and Adults with Autisim. 😊
I do this! I focus really hard on an actor in a movie/show when I know I recognize them until I remember what else I've seen them in. Kind of a game I play with myself. But once I remember, I'll tell my partner who usually doesn't believe it's so & so from that movie 15 years ago, then I'll look it up, and I'm almost always right. It's so silly but gives me immeasurable satisfaction
@@wisecoconut5 It is perfectly normal to research actors in movies on the IMDB. That's not an indication of autism. You may have a different personality type than your friends, who don't do that. Maybe something is wrong with them.
I'm literally crying at work while listening. I am starting to learn about autism. I started for my sister (nonbio) but then realized I might be too. And this is all the things I can't explain to people. Thank you!😊
24/25 😂 Diagnosed AuDHD 8 days ago in my 40s. I didn't mark off safe foods because I flip constantly between craving novelty and craving the familiar (AuDHD tug-of-war.) Otherwise, the rest is bang-on!
Same! (20 or 21/25) Last time I was traveling by plane and wanted to get something to eat at the airport before figuring out the light rail system to my hotel, and struggled SO much figuring out which restaurant to order from. I literally wandered back & forth between 2 areas for... 45 minutes? An hour and a half? Maybe longer? I kept rejecting the Subways and other familiar places on the grounds that I had access to those all the time in my hometown, wanting to experience something new as the lack of variety in my 56k population city has always bummed me out. But at the same time I was extremely stressed out over the trip getting there itself (also how I almost missed my taxi to the airport b/c I couldn't find my proof of vaccination for the event I was going to, and didn't even find it until the day AFTER arriving/the day of event a few hours before it started) so I was craving a safe food SO bad, and my inability to just make a decision only made things worse. (I eventually settled on a local chain specializing in fish&chips, so familiar comfort food but still new experience)
Still not officially diagnosed but I got 23/25. I did choose safe foods because I get stuck in food ruts and eat the same things. I’m not like my son who has eaten chicken nuggets every day for months now, but I got really upset when I’m found out they stopped selling wraps in the school cafeteria where I worked last year. That really messed up my lunch routine. Sounds silly but I hate not having what I want. It was my safe food. Now it’s salads. If I cannot get a salad I just don’t eat out and wait til I can get home. I will eat other foods, but I only eat salads at restaurants. I was at a restaurant recently with my husband and son and thought about getting fish tacos but when the server came to take the order, guess what I ordered. Yes. I’ll have the house salad please.
You are not alone in the ability to feel others feelings and intensely. I am relieved that this recurrent ability has another source other than being "codependent." I have been beating myself up for this one for decades.
There have been times that I have watched on in a detached way as I was being cheated. Knowing full well what was going on but being so overwhelmed by the anguish, desperation and pain that I could sense from my abuser that I couldn't bring myself to object. Obviously I know that's dangerous and it's one aspect of myself that I desperately try to moderate. I am usually successful enough that I can live with it without feeling as though I am betraying myself in either direction. I have to be a little harder than I like but my life is a little humbler than I'm comfortable with so it balances roughly.
I sighed. I'm 46 and I've been reading and following many people for over a year now. I got 100. The ADHD is in the bag. I was late diagnosed there... It wasn't until a friend was diagnosed that I even wondered what it might look like. And here I am. 😂. 🙏
@@julierosie62 Absolute truth! It wasn't until after I was diagnosed with both types of ADHD and learned up that I realized I had all the behaviors. I had no idea all that was ADHD. I was like "that's not normal? Not everyone does this?" and it was rather eye-opening.
Wow. I'm diagnosed ADHD, and suspect ASD. Checked everything but the bluntness box, although I used to be blunt. While I appreciate directness, I can be overly sensitive to what feels like criticism. My keen sense of justice and high empathy 😄 has caused me to dial back my bluntness over the years. On the plus side, when someone genuinely wants clear, direct feedback I'm good at providing it without being harsh. And boy, the song thing (and movies, in my case)--I'm having a really hard time not listing every fixation from the time I was 10. 😁
Also diagnosed ADHD and suspect ASD. I got 21/25 of these. I try and think of myself as direct rather than blunt. I've learned to say things a bit more tactfully, but a lot of people don't get my honesty or assume I mean something I don't.
I'm a woman who just turned 37 and have also just discovered that I'm autistic. It's been...a rollercoaster ride for sure. Unbelievably validating and traumatic at the same time. It's like I'm reading/watching my autobiography. And of course I've been devouring all the info I can on it, lol, that's my jam!
I'm 27 and had straight A until higher education. I was looking into ADHD diagnostic with how much I struggled all my life but no one put the finger on it since I was good in school & good at masking until then. I had issue with communication but avoided it as much as a I could yet still ended up burned out from working and dealing with clients... I don't have an official diagnosis & I haven't even asked my parents for paterns or other things of my yought I don't remember, but research mode is just connecting dots from my past + when I talked about it to my partner of 5+ years and at least one close friend who just found out they were autistic at the same age & both said it wasn't even a question to them 😅 / they tought I knew I don't know where this will lead me, but it sure does feel like a bit of weight off my shoulder. Geting a diagnostic might get be back in school to learn other thing the "normal way" 😊
"Research Mode" needs to be a t-shirt. What about making a music playlist and not being able to stop? I'm stuck on my phone for hours once I start (self-diagnosed ASD/ADHD).
I'm officially diagnosed but I've told almost no one. The two friends that I've told have pushed back saying that the diagnosis must be wrong because I'm empathic and have learned to make reasonable eye contact. I hate feeling defensive and second- guessing my own experience. Thank you for shedding a little light on aspects of different parts of our experiences. My current listen-on-repeat song is Sara Bareilles' cover of Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.
I just asked Alexa to play that song. It makes me want to cry. It’s very pretty. I never knew Sara did a cover of it. I love Elton John’s version so I knew I’d like this no matter what. Wanted you to know
I listen to the same song hundreds of times; I also watch the same shows over and over. It’s extremely comforting to me. Sometimes when I workout I will listen to the same song the entire time
I think I relate to all of this (a couple of these weren't all of the time, but most of them were). & I am also super empathetic. I hadn't realized that getting stuck in the car, or trying to leave places, was a transition issue until you said it, & I was just like "OhMyGod That's why I do that!" (My new doctor just said they'd give me a referral for ASD testing)
Taylor,THANK YOU! I’m 65 discovered I was on the spectrum a couple years ago. I relate to so very many of these. Particularly paradoxical reactions to meds. Benadryl makes me hyper and it will NEVER help me sleep! RESEARCH- my favorite thing to do. Why don’t others want to know “why”? 😉. Comfort over style always. Rarely will join a last minute offer .. have to think about it for a day or so. Was just thinking about the honesty/bluntness thing.. my therapist says I’m “unusually honest”. So I guess most of the world lies all the time making excuses for not doing things..🤷🏻♀️I’m empathetically attached to my daughter who lives across the country. She went through some challenging months and I was a mess the whole time. And yes, I’ll make plans to do something and cancel at the last moment.. thanks for posting this video. Nice to find a group I belong with! and high fives to all the rest in this group trying to navigate this strange world! ❤
I'm neurodivergent. I have been through the process in the UK and according to the phycologist I am a point off being autistic and a point off being ADHD. I am very much both, but have spent so many years masking I don't know where I end and the masking starts. I scored quite high on your bingo card lol
I checked off all of them! I'm just discovering (8 months) that I am AuADHD and I'm 63! I'm actually pleased to be neurodivergent. It explains so much of my life and the issues that I have had throughout. I just wish I had discovered this many many years ago. I'm now so very proud to be AuADHD. Its my super power and my nemesis! Who want to be the same as everyone else?
Having a mental disability is not a super power. It means that something is wrong with you. You can be a unique individual without pretending to have a disability.
Oh my gosh, I’m a 58 year old woman who was recently diagnosed with ADHD. I have long wondered if I am on the spectrum and after all of my deep dives and listening to others, I believe I am autistic. For so long autism was a critical, bad word- it was that one kid in class who was “special” who spent a lot of time in the nurses office. Such stigma. I still get told on occasion, by other adults, that I’m weird, have weird interests, don’t understand certain people’s sense of humor, etc. it’s refreshing to find this TH-cam channel. Thank you
I got 20/25 on the bingo card, so many things that resonate with me. I've been diagnosed about 5 years ago. These past 5 years were NOT easy, but now that I understand and accept my needs, I'm a lot happier in life. I'm so grateful for TH-camrs like you for sharing the autistic experience, it made me feel less alone, and I got a lot of helpful tips, tricks, and insights in how to deal with my autism.
There is never NOT a song running in my head- its like some song takes the place of an inner monologue for me 🎵🎶 I wonder if this qualifies as a kind of mental stim? 🤔 Research mode: activated!
Yeah, got it as well and my son too :D ... he is diagnosed, I am not yet, but for 95% autistic as well :) ... For this reason, that we have always some song/track/sounds in our heads, we hate when someone puts on radio on the car for example :D ... Ouch... I think it is a type of stimming as well yeah :) ❤
Me too. Sometimes I go to sleep with a song, and wake up to pee with a different song, and wake up in the morning with a 3rd song. Sometimes it's just the same one. Mental stimming makes sense, especially for us late diagnosed bc it's more socially acceptable than singing or having musick on all the time...although I have always done those a lot too.
I listen to the same song for weeks... sometimes months ..but it changes depending on what I am going through or what I need...p.s.I checked off everything except light touch...I ...I need to know you for a while before I even feel comfortable shaking hands...but I was cracking up during most of your video because I get it...I love being Autistic...I was diagnosed at age 49 changed my life...Having the tools and services really helps to navigate this world that is often cruel and unjust... being diagnosed helped me to finally understand why I have had so much difficulty living a "normal" life...Thanks for sharing this bingo
What song do I listen to over and over and over? Hm... That depends on the day. I have a distinct bias towards songs that were popular when I was a kid, in the fabulous 1980's. My kids and I were just listening to "99 Luftballoons" by Nena repeatedly the other day. Singing in German is one freaking awesome stim!
You're not alone! My affective empathy his too high. I get so overwhelmed by other people's affect all the time. It's a big part of my needing so much alone time to process it all 😭 Love the Bingo game idea ❤
I finally realised big groups are not good for me. More than 4 people (including myself is overwhelming). If I can’t avoid the larger group, I try to find a spot I can take in everyone’s reaction. Since following this, I’ve had way fewer instances of being overwhelmed in social situations (funnily I am pretty out going though it’s draining). Sometimes I just go to the restroom or get drinks for everyone to allow my system a few quite minutes.
As usual: full bingo card for me. Though one square was a "Yes, but for me it's like..." This made me think of a few other traits that I wonder if others relate to...or maybe they're just me. -my handwriting can change vastly even in the same sentence. -I often downplay my struggles assuming that it's something everyone experiences but they're better at dealing with it (and I just don't know that it's a ND trait/struggle because I can only be inside my own brain). -in verbal communication I often find myself saying the parenthetical information/details before I even say the subject/ real meat of the sentence. Example "I know this isn't really relevant until next year and we already have several of them, although my mom wanted to borrow some and I'd like to replace the worn ones before fall, but..." So no one knows I'm talking about lawn chairs until all the background info is laid out.
Over the years I've trained myself to "announce" the subject first - ei "Lawn chairs" - then proceed. This can be expanded, later, into something like "I've been thinking about the lawn chairs." Especially helpful when it happens in a work setting.
I just recently started to suspect I'm an undiagnosed adult and keep coming back to learn more about autism after I go to weddings. I've always had trouble with crowded, loud environments, but for the most part it's never been too hard to avoid those situations. But weddings are a much larger social obligation than something like friends wanting you to meet them at a bar. And every time I'm at a wedding I'm just entirely overwhelmed. For me it's the noise, I just can't process it all. It's like I can't hear, because I'm hearing everything. I think it's also hard for me to isolate the voices of people who are talking to me with so much background noise, and even when I do I can't quite comprehend what is being said. I just get bits and pieces but can't always put it all together. For me it's one of the most isolating environments. Even though I'm surrounded by people I can't communicated with anyone.
Even since my nephew was born I’m even more motivated to get myself diagnosed bc I’m sure he’s also autistic and I know it will be easier for him to find an accurate diagnosis if his family are also accurately diagnosed.
That last box hit so hard. I planned a big surprise for my mom’s 70th, wasn’t able to rely on anyone else to help. And while everyone thought it went well, it cause me a full on meltdown for basically the whole weekend and ruined my experience because I got so stuck on the plan that I couldn’t cope when things went wrong or we had to pivot. 😢 very helpful Bingo! I feel very seen. Thank you!
I totally understand the part about being seen. And I understand about planning a party like you mentioned. I have twin boys and planned a great party for their 18th birthday. I had a lot of great ideas, but invitations were not well done. I know that sounds stupid, but I really didn’t know who to invite. Probably my people pleasing issue was part of that. In the end, it was the most dismal get together ever. We laugh about it, but it still stings inside my heart.
Keeping track: People pleasing. 1. Yes, always really nice and trying to keep good flow in conversations, and then when the conversations end I realize my entire body is tense and I’m panicking. Like im tired from doing a performance. 2. Routines are sacred. Yes, I like to make sure everything is clean, every Friday I do a pre weekend reset and make sure everything is clean before the weekend so nothing gets in my way or overwhelms me on the weekends. In the mornings before I go anywhere I have to do my morning routine and wear similar clothes each day to stay calm and comfortable, if my clothes aren’t right I won’t go. There is a lot of small parts in my routine that I feel compelled to do before I leave the door. But I also get very distracted trying to fully complete my routine at the same time. 3. Trouble getting into bed. YES YES. I used to think I was a night owl but I realize my brain just doesn’t turn off unless I genuinely allow it to. My partner can fall asleep anywhere but I toss and turn and can’t get comfortable and can’t stop thinking. I also need to do a big clean up as a wind down- to tire myself out before bed. Most the time I can’t sleep and end up playing Pokémon go on my phone until I get more mentally tired. I also worry about the time I have left to sleep, when I’m trying to fall asleep my inner monologue is like “okay, 6 hours of sleep, focus go to bed, you need ti be up early” and so on until I stop talking to myself and fall asleep. 4. Secret stems: Nail biting, nail skin chewing, hair pulling, scratching, rubbing my hands on my pants, spinning coins in tables, going on my phone to Pokémon go when I’m anxious. 5. Knowing more about others than ourselves. Yes I find myself obsessively wondering about others personalities and issues. When I walk into a room full of people I feel like I can see who people really are deep down, beneath their clothes and aesthetics. And I’m always talking about others like “they’re really nice, did you know they…” and so on, trying to get other people’s opinions to try and clarify my thoughts about them. I had emotionally abusive parents and I think I always try to understand people really well to see if I can trust them. But most the time I ignore everyone until they talk to me, I just listen to what their saying all the time. Listening to the same song over and over: YES YES, I always get obsessed with one song at a time, and anytime I go into my car or put my headphones on I start with the same song over and over until I get into a new song. Right now is my love is mine all mine by mitsiki. Tummy problems. Yes but I have bad diet, and I drink alcohol and eat a lot of dairy so it kind of makes sense, Safe foods: Yes, I always order the same things at restaurants and eat the same things at home and the same drinks. If something isn’t made the way I like it, I won’t try it or eat it. There was a lot of nights my parents tried to force me to eat things I hated and made me sit at the table until I did with things like burgers with onions in them and I would pick all the onions out of the burger and barely touch the meat and sit there for hours until they let me go. I’m still the type of person to always get chicken fingers and fries or Mac and cheese or grilled cheese. A lot of times if my favourite foods aren’t cooked the way I like I get very upset, especially if I mess it up some how. Triggered by light touch: Yes, I hate it Delayed touch: Omg yessss, I need to leave to process and then respond. My boyfriend will apologize to me and I’ll just slowly walk away with a thinking look in my face. He always try’s to rush me out of this state and ask things like “do you forgive me? Are we good, hello???” And I become irritated because I’m like “yesssss yessss I’m just thinking” and then it upsets him more because it’s taking me so long or something, or he wants better instant gratification. Making a list and hating it: Kind of, I only make lists when I know I need to remember stuff at the grocery store. The only feeling I hate about it is that I like to organize lists in order of how I’d walk in the store and if I don’t make it that way then I get anxious about it. Research mode: Yes, ima Keats looking stuff up and researching and googling when I wanna know something randomly. Sitting in your car for longer: Yes and no, depending on how late I am because I’m always late. I’ll actually sit in my car for longer when I’m late and when I’m not late I get out right away, it’s weird. Headphones: Yes, I recently just lost one of my AirPods and I’ve been having a really hard time at school. I feel overwhelmed and having Lofi music or music from my favourite games makes me feel very calm and lately I’ve been not happy at school. Sensitive to alcohol and caffeine and drugs: No not really Feeling what others are feeling: Very much so, I feel like I communicate telepathically, I cry and feel very deeply when given the right story. Needing to know why: Yes, I’m always asking why. Wishing others ask good questions: Yes, I like the energy I give people and I feel excited about certain things and I feel excited to know their opinions on things and when they never ask me interesting stuff about myself I feel like they don’t think of me or they don’t care about me. Comfy clothes always: YES, I genuinely cannot fucking stand uncomfortable clothes. I will not go to important things if I don’t wear something that is comfortable and looks good. Easily upset by injustice: Yes, when watching tv or watching a video or whatever, if someone or an animal is getting treated unfairly I put a lot of energy and emotion into the topic, the other day I went on for twenty minutes about how Ronnie from on undercover boss was wrongfully fired and why and how upset that makes me. No one is blunt: Yes I feel weird for my bluntness and like other people will find me rude Planning things perfectly: Yes, I like to vocalize my plans and make sure I know what’s going on before I go
you're so welcome! and you're definitely not alone. there is an incredible community here who will listen to you and validate your experiences. I hope you find yourself at home here!
about routines for AuDHD people: I’m autistic and pretty sure I have ADHD, the way I combat the whole routine thing is by devising weekly routines, so I have that routine but also have some variety each week. This just helps keep it a little less boring for me!
I thought I would not score any at the beginning but I scored 17. I also have Alexithymia which is common in autistic people but means I do not feel things in the same way as other autistic people. Some of yours made me laugh out loud. Like "why isn't everyone as blunt as me" and "needing to know why". Being easily upset by injustice is probably my strongest one though.
I bingo-ed too many times lol. The gastro issues are soooo real. I got diagnosed with Crohn's right before autism. Also, the "being clear is being kind" idea is something that I feel strongly. I'd rather be blunt and have everyone on the same page than have someone confused because I made something too floral-y.
Long suspected I'm on the spectrum, I strongly relate to so many of these and some of them I didn't realise were common in people on the spectrum e.g the light touch, the absorbing feelings and especially needing time to process speech. I get so frustrated when people ask me questions and then assume I don't know/am just not answering because it takes me a while to comprehend what's been said and formulate a coherent response.
Suspecting here also. Have you ever had a tendency to say no to every question. Just to say something in the "acceptable" time window given when a question is put directly to you? No being the pre programmed answer, not the right answer in retro aspect.
I'm just discovering that I may be Autistic at age 48 and the flashbacks of my childhood and school counselors and things people said to me that I didn't get at the time is flooding me right now. I hit all but maybe 2 of your bingo points. The research mode especially. I'm always down the rabbit hole researching. This was video was very helpful.
Literally September. I used to hate the song because it’s was remixed. But in a very profound day in my life, it came back in childhood. Are you me? I relate to your points immensely.
There were several items on the bingo card that made me laugh because it describes my feelings perfectly. Easily upset by injustice did get an audible guffaw out of me because I feel it so much and your point about how it makes the world much more stressful at this point in history is spot on. Light touch is definitely a trigger for me, but not in an upsetting way, but in a "just got struck by lightning" kind of way. I jump when touched unexpectedly. Finally to answer your question about what song I've put on repeat for long periods: Dr. Worm by They Might Be Giants. It's such a great bop; I highly recommend it.
Halfway through, and have checked off every single one so far. I am 33 years old and have not yet received a formal diagnosis (I am diagnosed ADHD), but am one million percent sure I am HFA. You're videos have validated so much of my life and current everyday experience. Thank you
I did not tick on 2 boxes, which are “sensitive to caffeine” and “triggered by light touch”. My go-to song when I’m in a good mood is Hotel California. I could play it again, again, and again.
I’ve only just been diagnosed and this video made me cry. I have never felt so seen, and I have a sense of relief now knowing why my brain works a little bit differently.
Current song that tops the list multiple times a day is Save Me by Danielle Nicole band. I am super musical, so for me it isn't so much a song, but more a person. I apparently have a preference for female voices. I'll spend weeks, months, years stuck on certain artists. Thanks for the A+ content Tay!
I've now listened to it 5 times in a row. lol Beautiful, and it does make most of the mammalian hair on my body stand on end a few different times, each time I've listened to it. th-cam.com/video/r0kkzHGa-gY/w-d-xo.html Thank you for posting this beautiful song~
I love this, thank you for the time and energy you put into this. I’m AuDHD and appreciate you took time to recognize routines can maddening! I didn’t know so many other people are not thrilled with light touch. I got all of these other than the sensitive to caffeine/alcohol/medication, because I don’t even know what my normal response to those is anymore. Thank you for caring, too, about littles needing to know “why”, little me just felt so seen!
Hi Taylor, thank you for the hard work and for putting yourself out here for autistic people and those close to them. I'm from Thailand, 35 and informally diagnosed about a year ago. From few months ago I've watched a bunch of youtube autism-related videos and life has been intensely unpacking, I have so much to say but don't want to dump it all on here so I'll just start with the bingo topic. I scored a lot less that I thought, 12 points but the most intense were delayed processing, following through my own plans, and very confused about emotions. sometimes I just feel things really intense that I froze or just not sure whether I'm feeling something or not. Anyway keep up the good work, will stop by on other videos.
Loved the video especially the bit about the ear buds. I'm undiagnosed but recently discovered how much calmer ear plugs make me feel, like in noisy shopping malls. I took my ear plugs to a social function recently and stuck them in after about 40 minutes. It was a noisy room but with ear plugs I could have a conversation without shouting or being shouted at. I enoucouraged others to put their fingers in their ears so they understood the benefits. Might have converted a couple at least. Keep up the good work.
I scored 2 out of 25. I recently worked out I have ADHD in my early fourties and I’ve been looking into autism too but I’m increasingly sure I’m not on the spectrum myself. Thanks for the video though - good to understand and clarify.
The one about being afraid to use the word autism actually made me cry it hit me so hard. It made me feel so much better about pursuing a professional diagnosis. That it isn't stupid to think I'm autistic. And I got all of them but "understanding other people better than myself" because I don't understand people at all lol. But I'm also simultaneously very empathetic. I'm like a dog, feeling other's feelings but not understanding anything happening.
there’s no way these behaviors would be part of actual autism or it’s diagnosis. can it be okay just to be quirky? we all are i promise. we all need belonging too but really these symptoms are traits are that bad? what does a professional administering of labels help with even. other than fitting into a group who are obsessed seeming w how their quirks make them sooo different. just look at the DSM. it’s all horseshit non scientific anyways.
@@chinmeysway I was giving you the benefit of the doubt until the end... Also, I don't have the energy to argue, but I'll still explain my experience.. I AM actually autistic too, so keep that in mind. A professional diagnosis gave me empowerment. You say "we're all quirky" well that's a bad thing in society. Being "different" with no understanding as to why is hell. I felt like an actual alien outsider my entire life. But I found out I was autistic and everything made sense. I suddenly wasn't alone for the 1st time. Thousands of people experience what I experience. I do finally belong.
Late diagnosed level 2 29F doing some heckin autism bingo (18/25) 1. People pleasing - Nope, demand avoidance tendencies/loud opinions/extreme morals/stubborn 2. Routines - Yep 3. Bed time transitions - Yep 4. Secret stims - Yep 5. Knowing more about others than yourself - Half point maybe, I do tend to psychoanalyze people but I also do it to myself. 6. Songs on repeat - Yep (Having a random Billie Eilish hyperfixation atm) 7. GI issues - Yep (Hi IBS crew) 8. Safe foods - Yep (Hi ARFID crew) 9. Light touch - Half point because no one should ever touch me at all :D 10. Auditory processing disorder - Yep 11. Lights are too bright - Nope, daylight is too bright for sure, but I don't relate to this specific experience. 12. Making a list and hating it - Nope (No ADHD) 13. Research mode - Yep 14. Sitting in your car for longer than intended - Half point; Definitely not able to have/drive a car with my level of support needs but I understand the transitioning issue. 15. Headphones - Yep 16. Sensitive to substances - Yep 17. High empathy - Yep 18. Wanting to be alone but lonely - Nope, I don't experience loneliness, I don't know what it is, a HUGE privilege from what I gather. 19. "Why?" - Yep 20. Ability to ask good questions - Half point; I resonate with this to a certain extent, but I don't necessarily feel that I need it to be reciprocated 21. Comfy clothes - Yep (Hi sweatsuit crew) 22. Justice/morals - Yep 23. Bluntness - Yep 24. Appropriating terms - Nope, there wasn't a lot of time between realizing I was autistic and getting a formal diagnosis because we went private (sick of being misdiagnosed for 16 years). I think imposter syndrome is also probably more common among those with low support needs than higher support needs. 25. Planning vs executive dysfunction - Yep
"Sticking to safe foods." I travel a lot for work, and I mostly eat at chain restaurants to avoid chancing having something I detest in my meal that I wasn't expecting. I can't eat mushrooms, okra, sauces on sandwiches, peppers, and other things with similar texture. "Mixed vegetables" on a menu scares me. "Research Mode" One of my best friends always calls me Cliff Clavin because I always have knowledge about almost any subject. "Comfy clothes always" I will not wear turtlenecks, sweaters, wool or any other material that's rough. I've cut the tags out of all my clothes since I can remember. I've been going comando since I was 14. I only own 1 suit that has only been worn 4 or 5 times in the last 40 years. "Planning things perfectly and being unable to execute" I plan nothing. My wife does all the planning. Edit: I forgot one. "Why isn't everyone as blunt as me?" I have a lack of social niceties that most people take for granted. When you sneeze I do not say "god bless you" ever, nor do I say thank you when you say it to me. It's not in my vocabulary, and I don't understand why it has endured for so long since we've known for a long time that a sneeze is not blowing out demons. If you knock on my door to sell something or solicit a donation, I answer the door with "I'm not interested." It actually bothers me that my wife will stand there going back and forth with a salesperson instead of shooing them away like I would.
Definitely 21, up to 24 depending how you interpret. The Wanting to be alone but feeling lonely hit hard, but the Research Mode and Why was so eye opening I can't even begin to say how grateful I am that you talked about it. This could describe 90% of my life.
have not been officially diagnosed yet (finding someone in my area that one has an opening for new patients and 2 takes my insurance is a real pain), however, i thought this was fun and got 19/25 which i think is pretty on point for me, several of them really jumped out as things that are very much me. Funnily enough, i had my friend do this as well and she got 9/25 though she's not really on the spectrum but shows a few of the markers.
I relate to almost all of that. Especially the Audhd aspects. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 52 (a couple of years ago), but I'm 95% sure I'm also autistic.
I loop the song I need. Music is one of my main emotional regulation tools. If I need to burn off bad emotions I loop some specific sad or angry song. But most of the time I keep the demons dancing with upbeat songs.
I got literally teared up with many of these, some from relief, many from laughter. Being a recently late diagnosed autistic, it was a solace to come across your content. Thank you! Love from Brazil.
This is such a great list! In fact, I’m even a bit baffled, since there are 3 things on there, that happen to be pretty debilitating aspects of my life, but I’ve never made the connection to my autism before. 1. Knowing more about others than yourself, which to me translates to feeling what other people feel, before I recognize my own feelings or needs. 2. Process delay. Wow! For me, it’s exactly how you described it. What a drag. In most social situations my brain only works on the most superficial level. Especially in a one-on-one conversation! It’s only when the conversation is over and I’m by myself again, that I’m able to process, what was talked about. So annoying, especially in job or administrative contexts. 3. Easily upset about injustice. This tends to drive me nuts. I guess, that’s mostly because I like rules and get very uncomfortable when they’re being broken. Thank you so much!
Currently going through the assessment process for ASD (and potentially ADHD). I got all 25 lol. The always wanting to know why thing...my mom was always saying how overly analytical I was over everything from idioms to commercials lol. Your videos are so validating, thank you.
This is a big one for me as well. I can't really learn how to do something unless I understand the reasons for it and how it fits contextually with everything else.
What I find funny about always knowing why? Is that I used to be like that more but now as an adult I find it annoying in other people. For example whenever I try to explain something to my dad he always needs to know why and it drives me crazy sometimes. I guess I know how he felt my whole life. He's also diagnosed with Autism btw.
Laughed out loud at the last one...just had a highly-planned road trip from hell. Still decompressing after being back home for three days. 😂 Resonate with so much of this! Thank you for the support. ❤
Most definitely got a good number of these 🤣 I am recently self-diagnosed, with RAADS scores in the 70s and a CAT-Q of 155. I’ve masked so hard my whole life that I’m not even always aware yet of when something resonates with me. My first time taking the RAADS I scored a 71, and I answered “no” to a lot of things I later realized I actually do. Like hating to be interrupted - I really answered “no” on all the questionnaires like “I can totally roll with the punches”… and then I started paying attention to it and realized I actually fill with rage when I’m interrupted in the middle of something! The second time I took the RAADS, I’d become aware of more things and my score went up to 79. I’m sure I’d be higher still today. Having a lot of imposter syndrome over all of this, like am I faking it to get a higher score or something?? But deep in the core of my being I’m certain it’s true. Thanks so much for your channel 💕 I’ve been watching a lot and it’s helping me understand. I’ve been in full-on research mode about autism lately, and now I just have to figure out how to get the TH-cam algorithm to stop showing me *only* autism content because it’s crowding out channels for my usual special interest, nutrition 😅 The struggle!!
The same for me... recently self-diagnosed, but haven't said anything to anyone because I'm sure that they won't believe me... and I definitely have imposter syndrome and doubting it even though most of the stuff I see in all the autism related videos seems to resonate with me. It was one of Taylor's videos on autism in women that randomly popped up one day on my feed and it just resonated with me and suddenly everything made sense. There's still a lot of stuff I'm not sure of... at first I was like "I don't stim, I'm not sure what it is" but then realize I fidget constantly (anything from wrapping my hair around my fingers, tugging on my hair when it's in a braid, swinging my feet, tapping my feet, playing with a hair tie or something else small...)... and there were other things I thought I didn't do but realized I do, like masking. I got 147 on RAADS (I hate that test...it's too all or nothing I don't "Only" or "Never" anything, 122 on CAT-Q , 33 on AQ...
@@ashleyien1222 I can totally relate!! I never noticed how much I stim either, but now I’m starting to see all the things I do, like the specific things in my car’s center console that I play with repetitively while I drive. And I’ve always been a chronic nail/cuticle biter/picker. The most obvious one I recognized first is that I have a very specific and difficult-to-explain pattern by which I wiggle my toes 😅 I’ve told a few select friends so far (I have several who also happen to be suspicious they’re autistic - we definitely do find each other!), and my husband, who by the end of the convo agreed he was probably autistic as well. Funnily enough I’ve secretly suspected him for years, but never myself. But I feel the same fear you described of not being believed. I’m terrified people will just say “oh that’s normal, everybody does that or feels that way” and just minimize and brush me off. Or worse, think I’ve really lost it this time. It’s so vulnerable.
@@rehtaeH013wanted to jump in and say I empathize so much with what you both said. Imposter syndrome is real. I tick sooooo many boxes but I'm still somehow unable to admit it to myself or others. Not that anyone needs to know but I feel like its such an intrinsic part of me that its deeply important, but I'm not able to talk about it. I'm just so glad there's community like this one.
@@kj_H65f couldn’t agree more - so grateful for this community!! And you’re right too that it’s nobody’s business at the end of the day, but I feel the same way about it being such a deeply essential part of me that there are certain people I do want to tell so they have the opportunity to know all of me. I’m just trying to be as judicious as possible in who I “let in” in this way. I hope you can find an increased sense of peace with it - it’s something that took me a while of sitting with to absorb it all and claim this part of my identity, but I feel like I’m better off for it now. Sending you lots of hugs!!
I’m finally getting my neuropsych evaluation in May. I’m both excited and scared and want to research everything about it (but I’m trying not to so the evaluation is not bias). However, I truly feel I’m AuDHD
Caffeine - it seems that stuff can hit me either right away or hours later. Paradoxical reactions to medications, yep, right up there with that paradoxical reaction to caffeine.
I love this video I’ve said the same exact thing before i wish everyone would be blunt and say it straightforward what they want to say , it’s confusing to me when they don’t , also I am always researching and looking things up constantly ! I ask the best questions too ❤
Hey Taylor, what a beautifully executed video. I ticked off 22... I just had a funny conversation with my partner who couldn't understand why I don't want to try a new type of muesli (my go to safe food since I was 17), while I couldn't understand why would I want to try a new type if I'm happy with mine....
I was going to comment "not me getting almost every one and still doubting I'm autistic" but then got to the part with "not wanting to appropriate the term autistic"💀 I think I should probably accept it at this point😂
I think we are predisposed to imposter's syndrome by virtue of traits we already have: a) awareness of trying to pretend to be what we are not to fit in, and waiting to be found out; b) always wanting more data before making a final decision; c) being skeptical of professionals' declarations. (The last two undermine us even after a formal dx..."was it good enough?") I also have a brain that seems to see from one angle at a time...sometimes I can see the facts related to being autistic very clearly, other times my brain says "what are you on about? You look normal to me." I don't know if others have this issue. There are theories that autistic people and ADHDers have more short-range neural connections and fewer long range connections, and I've wondered if that has anything to do with it. I like that idea better than that I am working on frontotemporal dementia already (62, and my father and grandfather both had it late in life).
About ten years ago, i was seeing my primary physician and mentioned that i thought i might be autistic. She responded by saying, "Why would you want to be a victim if that?" (!!!😢). That attitude hit me so hard that i still have not gone for a formal diagnosis, but with one (almost-but-not-quite) exception, i relate strongly to every space on your card. At 76 years old, i can't tell you how helpful this video is to me.! I've always known i am "different" - as of today i am no longer diffident about a "label". Thank you so, SO much! I will be watching everything you post on yt. You have my heartfelt gratitude ❤
I have had the "luxury" (if I can call it that) to being diagnosed at the very young age of 3, now almost 39, when I look back I think one of the differences between not have a diagnosis or receiving one at a late age is that you are more directly confronted by others. Everyone is different of course, but for myself, I think my main difference would be that I know myself above average. My "bad habits" or "work points" have been pointed out and pointed out time and time again. Which isn't easy and not fun. You still keep thinking what's wrong with me, why can't I just change and fit in... But it took me a very long time (and after 10 years of struggling to keep a job) to find a place where I could be myself and be appreciated for it. It's still no walk in the park (figuratively speaking), but acceptably comfortable. Thank you for sharing the Bingo chart :-) it did help clarify still some things I hadn't realised about myself
![PASULOL รามเกียรติ์ ตอนที่ 4 นนทกพบรัก [Ramakien Ep.4: Nonthok in love]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/tMUQgmZzf_A/mqdefault.jpg)
Instead of difficulty getting into bed, it’s difficulty getting into the shower for me.
Both here!
But then also, difficulty getting out of the shower once I do actually get in it 😭
Getting into the shower, back out of the shower and getting OUT of bed all suck for me, but getting into bed is the easiest part of my day 😅
Yeah, i also use my bed for watchin stuff bcuz im just physically less able than many other folk; so i just need to rest more
I stillve a hard time switchin to actually goin to slp tho; even tho i can fall aslp rly fast
@fleuracle Same, i was even gonna take a bath today and just now realised i spaced on it
“Wanting to be alone but feeling lonely,” is the best summary of my 53 years I’ve ever come across. Also, 19. Bingo.
Ahmen
No joke. All the time I'm thinking about how I badly need some friends and how badly I don't want them to call me. I'm a traffic light that's perpetually stuck on yield.
I have a quote on my refrigerator that I read every day: "Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self." -May Sarton I live like a hermit and I love it, but there are times when I'm sitting and feeling restless, like I want to text someone because I'm feeling a bit lonely. But I don't text anyone because I really don't want to. LOL
I generally prefer solitude as socializing is quite draining and most often gives me little reward. Most conversations are small talk and can almost be painful
@@brianmeen2158 I can relate to that. Few people want to have meaningful discussions about serious and/or specific topics. Plus, my desire to talk is completely binary-either I want to talk a lot or not at all.
If I could give a word of advice to any of my fellow autistics who worry about identifying as autistic, it would be not to worry. While there are a lot of hateful martyr parents out there who will tell you you don’t deserve the label “autistic” unless you have a co-occurring intellectual disability or very intensive support needs, they’re full of it and have no understanding of what the autistic spectrum even is. If you fall anywhere on that spectrum, whether you’re formally diagnosed or self-diagnosed, you’re entitled to use the label “autistic,” period.
Thank you for the validation much appreciated
Exactly ! It's called a spectrum for a reason! Thanks for these words! I needed to hear them again (and again and again!) ❤
Thank you... The imposter syndrome is such a trap... Thanks for this validation
thank you so much
Thank you so much.
"I can't hear you, the lights are too bright" hit home hard for me. There's so many times where I just freeze doing whatever I'm doing because there's too much going on around me and all I can manage to blurt out is "There's too much going on... I can't think"
Yes!!
Hahaha. You ever be in the car and have to turn down the radio so you can see better? 😂
Every day of my life, my dude@@Izlude7189
This is so me. My employer had to buy fabric covers to put over the overhead lights because I was paralyzed under the fluorescent lights. I couldn’t even talk because it was so bright. Now I have a fabric cover that looks like the night sky with stars. I have ADHD.
Although some are more sensitive to light than others, everyone gets distracted and overwhelmed by too much stimuli. That's not a disability.
I literally gasped when you said "wishing other people asked good questions, too!" I feel like physical discomfort when people ask bad (imo) questions! It's agonizing lol!
from my experience, people mostly don't ask any questions, let alone bad ones
they just like to talk about themselves and want you to ask *them* questions about themselves when they hint at something
I've only had my parents ask bad questions
I say that I ask hard questions. They usually have to do with being frank or "direct". That's why they are hard for people.
That hit hard for me. What is even worse is when those questions are actually entertained and answered. It makes me think less of the boss/whoever answers them. Like, Can't you see how obvious it is? Tell that person to read what we were given and STFU!
yes or more interesting questions about the world and how it works or about history or philosophy everything.
Oh man, I'm constantly asking people questions. I get annoyed when others don't but instead just bask in what I'm asking, talking about themselves.
The one that hits me the hardest is the inability to focus around injustice- and the fact that you immediately acknowledge “This isn’t like the way everyone is upset by injustice “. YES! It makes me absolutely bonkers, and then to try to explain it to NTs, I just get “Well life’s not fair”. AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
oh yea... sure, life isn't fair. but the moment we don't even notice the unfairness any more... can't be good. even if we can't fix it, at the very least we have to clearly state what is. don't we? otherwise.... how do we have the same reality? and a solid ground of reality to act on? otherwise reality just falls apart... and nothing feels real...
Sadly, this was the reason I kept switching majors in college. I get everything has its dark side, but it's so hard to keep working towards something that makes you feel icky about being a part of. I always felt super bad about changing it cause it'd always felt like I should have just sucked it up like everyone else in that major ("oh you're being too sensitive about it, what can you do about it that's life!"). But my anxiety around it was so bad I had to literally change my major just to focus on mental health.
"Well life isn't fair." My answer from now on will be: it shouldn't be revolutionary to think that it should be, you should not be comfortable with being treated unfairly, you deserve better, and should demand better.
@@KidarWolf you composed a beautiful mini-speach. the kind of thing that can be put on a toombstone. what pops into my mind immediatly is the "answer": "why not? life is largly impacted by the sociaty we live in. we make the sociaty we live in... so you... grown ups, old people... made it. why didn't you make it fair? and why are you trying to make me belive that it can not be made fair? what's wrong with you?"
So true!! At work, I got berated for not taking my lunch on time even though I took it as early as I could. I was working with someone I never had before, so we didn't know each other's schedules and it got messy. I didn't understand what I could have done differently, because the way I saw it, either I took my lunch late or my coworker did, and either way one of us would get in trouble. After getting talked to about it, I wasn't able to focus on my job until I further spoke with the manager about forty minutes later
I got all of them! Hesitating to use the word “autistic” really got me. Not only do I do that, but I’m worried that if fully unmask people might think I’m pretending to be autistic 😞
Omg I currently going through this too. Especially that now summer is approaching, I pass for someone who’s complaining too much about the heat, the light, sweating. I always got the response it’s summer get over it. Now I know why I’m so exhausted on summer days. I really wish I could say : it’s because I’m autistic that I can’t bare all those little things like everyone else, be indulgent and stop judging. But guess what I don’t have enough strength to say it out loud even to my parents. Being paint as overdramatic it’s what is keeping me of using the term.
@@natalialeisi im so sorry to hear you're being treated like this and i unfortunately relate a LOT. ive found that finding neurodivergent friends, or even just friends period who are willing to listen even if you were "complaining" can be very validating in that regard, although i know it's a LOT easier said than done. wishing you the best
Only got 19. I embraced it, the label of Autism being that it made everything make sense. But I kept feeling questioned, as if I didn't truly deserve the consideration?... Having watched this I feel somewhat vindicated.
Oh my gosh, so so true! I feel like not only people will totally shun me for saying that I'm autistic ("but you don't look it"), but if and when I try to unmask they'll think I'm pretending or acting ( "you've been fine until now, so why can't you cope all of a sudden?")
@@katarzynasoyka8538 that’s why I’m really glad I found the community. It brings comfort to be understood and validated. I thrive to hope it will change for the best around us and that we found some people that can be understanding too. 🫶🏽🍀
23 for me. Routines aren't sacred for me, I'm actually terrible at keeping them, BUT I get really frustrated at surprise changes to my day. That sounds like I have a routine but the thing is my days aren't the same, but when I have an idea of how my day is going to go and then something changes that at the last minute I don't have a good time. I explained this to my wife and now she is great at making lunch plans with me a couple days in advance instead of calling me and asking if I want to get lunch in a couple hours. The other one I don't have is the caffeine/alcohol/meds one. Caffeine might have a reduced effect on me though.
Same on the routine part and the coffee part.
Same on the routines, but I'm pretty sure I'm AuDHD so routines just aren't a thing for me, as much as I desperately wish I could have *some* structure in my life. The other one is sticking to safe foods, I absolutely love food and there's very little I won't eat.
@captainadequate3951 oh now I'm pretty sure I'm AuDHD as well. The ADHD traits don't seem as prominent in my life but going down the diagnostic criteria I think every one of them is present.
Same, down to the coffee part. Though medications historically make me nauseous even when they really shouldn't so I counted it anyway.
Another same, the caffeine, alcohol and medications almost seem to have a reduced effect
I was always more of a "I can't think, you're too loud" kind of person
16/25
100%!!!! I can’t talk if it’s too loud in a car and I have to put the volume low just to have a conversation lol
@@AlyVee33 Talking? I can't not listen to talking. I was able to sleep when they were literally building a house around me, but whisper in my vicinity and I'm widely awake in an instant
Yea me too, light doesn't bother me too much unless in trying to sleep then there has to be absolutely zero light
Meanwhile I’m the loud one lol. It’s hard to control my voice volume okay! 😛
Too loud and/ or too bright.
Fluorescent lights often make me dizzy and can give me headaches.. I can also somehow hear them.
Thank you so much for this. In my 55th year things are finally starting to make sense. I thought everyone needed to sit alone in a dark, quiet, cold room for at least one hour during a party.
Omg I just did the exact same thing at. Party lol 416 are you from Toronto? I’m originally from there 😋😋
oh, I get you! Unless people are dancing in a darkened room, I can't cope with most parties.
Parties are a no no, but if I did go I'd want the dark room.
I have so much empathy that, I can feel bad about a spoon being alone in the drawer. I'm undiagnosed, but I got 17 on the bingo card. I'm 61 years old and got diagnosed with adhd at 59. It's tough right now being empathic. I have to take mental health breaks because I follow a lot of news and activists. I cannot understand the hate these days. I just subscribed, thank you for talking about, what can be, overwhelming empathy.
of course. I have a couple more videos on empathy if you're interested. Here's one over empathy and burnout that might be helpful: th-cam.com/video/TZPJbDjU9r0/w-d-xo.html
I have also felt sadfor inanimate objects being alone.
@@howcanikeepfromsinging I used to feel ridiculous because of it. Seeing all the hate these days made me grateful for my empathy and sense of justice. I wouldn't want to be any other way.
I can feel this type of empathy too! I always thought that I was the only one. Every time I've expressed these feelings, I've been made fun of or people think that I'm joking.
I feel bad moving on to a newer car! My cars feel like R2-D2 to me! How can I send R2-D2 to the junk yard? 😢 😝
This is so helpful. I had never heard anyone articulate the feeling of wishing that neurotypical people knew how to ask good questions 😂
Glad I’m not alone on this 🤪
I think this is because to most autistic people, questions are a tool to structure and transfer information, while to most allistic people, a big part of asking questions is about the social interaction. They ask questions not because they want to know something, but because they want to show interest, show that they're participating in the process.
I've also found that allistic people seem much more willing to accept answers that aren't really answers at all.
For allistic people, asking and answering questions seems not to be about exchanging information, but about affirming the relationship between the speakers, often while leaving potential conflict points implicit. Many allistic people are deeply insecure about disagreeing with other people.
I always think that. Plus the questions often lack depth.
I never wondered about questions.. but.. especially as a kid in comparison to other kids... I often felt as if they didn't see. so many brilliant details in this world and they walk past them without noticing. I frequently asked myself "do they not see? how do they not see?" I'm not diagnosed. just seemed to me that this is related.
@@JaapZeldenrust HOW DID YOU JUST DESCRIBE MY ENTIRE SCHOOL CAREER OMG
People wanna get mad at the socially inept, but they don't wanna pause & ask them what they're thinking or feeling in the bad moments then help them go through each thought & question that keeps getting in the way of functioning peacefully & efficiently.
I’m autistic and I work in architecture. If you’d like to know about what’s behind walls and how houses are built I’d love to talk about it for way too long lol
I work in the home inspection field and I thought about offering to explain it, too. Haha!
My mom was an architect, it's a good career to build.
Very structured.
@@mansquatch2260 in some ways 😅
It's a beautiful career, I even considered it, but I went for software engineering. Now I understand more my absolute urge that no one should modify or touch any line of code I write. Even if the most inefficient way, unless it's bad coded and it's giving crashes, I'm NOT changing it.
My weird way of programming now starts to make sense. 20 years later.
Oh my days!!! I'm looking into it too!! I've been wanting to do it forever but things have been changing and it's stressing me out. I don't know if I'll ever be able to study it anymore...In fact I dont even know what my future looks like anymore.
Hi! I was diagnosed about two years ago with being a high masking Autistic w\SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder). I have all of those and then some. I have a problem telling people that I am Autistic because I usually ge the reaction, "Well you don't look Autistic." That sentence really makes me want to find a corner and hide. There are so many things wrong with that sentence for me and I have a hard time processing a rebuttal that I find myself just standing there with a blank look on my face. I also hit about 99 % of everything on your card. But one I would add, is that rhetorical questions confuse the heck out of me. I am not sure whether they really want me to answer the question or not. Thank you for your channel and it's content. It has been very helpful on my journey through understanding myself.
Speaking from personal experience, "research mode" is surprisingly useful for preparing good-quality presentations/articles. The desire to *exhaustively* understand a topic tends to lead down rabbit holes and consume time, but you can then pull out all kinds of cross-links and parallels that can potentially help others understand the topic too.
Recently late-diagnosed at 30.
You become a pattern recogniser. EG I’m a horsemanship coach, and I can draw parallels to explain why people should do XYZ with their horses from anywhere- defensive driving, dating, dieting, and a bunch of anything that doesn’t start with ‘D’ too 😅
I have to do some research in my work but I fall down 🐇 holes all the time. I'm also under fairly strict time restrictions for project completion. I struggle to find a happy medium. Timers are becoming my new best friends ❤
In regards to pattern recognition, a coworker calls me the metaphor queen.
LOL - my last research meant that my husband had to get a library card as I was only allowed to take out 20 books at a time :D
i love the research piece - and how it feels ok to love research so much. about anything. Countless rabbit holes gone down, whole days/weeks gone.
The: "firm deep pressure (as far as touch)", really stuck out, same with the "I can't hear you, the lights are too bright", is the story of my life.
It's more "How many did i *not* check off?"
I will listen to a song over and over again, but due to being AuDHD, that song on repeat changes to another one after a few days.
Even at 39, I look for new music to listen to more than anyone else I know.
I listen to a song for a while and then it becomes a part of me and I don't have to listen to it again - Autistic + ADD
i change the songs i listen to a lot o
Same. The next time I'll listen that song is in a store, club, someone else's playlist in the car or elevator. And then maybe, just maybe, it'll be like listening to it fir the first time...
My sister works with autistic kids and she has been telling me I must be autistic because I share so many personality traits with them. I'm 39 years old and have never been diagnosed but I check all of those. Thank you for this. It's nice to think I may come by my quirks honestly.
* People pleasing tendencies
* Routines are sacred
* Trouble getting into bed
* Knowing more about others than yourself
* Not wanting to be alone but feeling lonely (repeated 5 times)
* Listening to the same song over and over
* Stomach issues
* Sticking to safe foods
* Triggered by light touch
* Needing extra time to process what someone just said
* "I can't hear you"
* Making a list then immediately hating it
* Research mode
* Sitting in your car for longer than you intended to
* Headphones make things better
* Sensitive to caffeine/alcohol/meds
* Feeling what others are feeling
* Wanting to be alone but feeling lonely
* Needing to know "WHY?"
* Not wanting to be called autistic
* Wishing other people asked good questions, too
* Comfy clothes always
* Easily upset by injustice
* "Why isn't everyone as blunt as me?"
* Planning things perfectly and being unable to execute
This is me. As I sit in my car in the Walmart parking lot watching this and crying.
My fiancee hates that I ask so many questions. I feel that they are totally necessary to move on with whatever is going on.
I still don't know why this wasn't seen when I was younger.
Unsolicited Advice: If your fiance isn't willing to watch videos like this & do some research to try and understand how your brain works, then they're not good enough for you.
Sounds like your fiancee needs to invest some time in research to understand you - hopefully well before the wedding..
Random example I was always the person asking questions to the teachers and professors about specific details in lectures but always hated it because the fact that no one else was asking any questions made me feel like they already knew the answers and that made me fell dumb. I was always wondering why I was the only one (or one of the few people) asking questions, even if they were simple clarification questions. It's comforting knowing I'm not the one one here.
@@tarajh flip side i wanted to ask is, if your fiancee 'hates' that you ask so many questions, why would you want to be with that person??
I scored 22. I got diagnosed autistic at age 29. I suspected for a few years before that. I was hesitant to refer to myself as autistic for fear of being wrong and misrepresenting myself at the expense of "truly" autistic people. Glad I know better now. Research mode brought me to this video lol. Thanks for sharing
Hello, what did you do to get diagnosed as an adult?
@@stratfender89"what did you do to get diagnosed as an adult?"
Essentially nothing, in my case.
@@knrdvmmlbkkn You mean you went to a doctor for some unrelated thing and they were like, "whoa, you're autistic AF. Let's do something about that." ???
@@stratfender89speak to a psychologist/psychiatrist about it! 😊
@@stratfender89In Australia you get diagnosed by a psychologist or a psychiatrist, but it can be a long process and expensive too - sometimes you can get help from Medicare
Sometimes I take weeks or even months to process things that are said to me. I’ve always said that’s what made me good at de-escalating angry patients in the ER and the psych unit. Angry people will try to insult staff and I just don’t get when it’s happening lol.
I think this is why I get along with my narcissist coworker the best of all our staff -- when she's being passive-agressively insulting, I usually don't notice, much less react. 😹
A logical person won't get angry because they know the person is unwell and it's not a personal offense. And ASD people should be highly logical. But that's one reason why I often think this is being overdiagnosed. It seems to me (not a professional) that someone reacting emotionally to a offended insult like that is probably traumatized/attachment disordered, not ASD. And the overlap between the two is huge.
Oh gosh, this is me with customers at work! I've always just stood there and let them vent over whatever is bugging them while I'm doing whatever I need to (I'm a pharmacy tech now, but the many times over the years I've had people just chew me out is ridiculous!). Either that, or I have NO CLUE that they're even insulting me and someone will have to come and tell me "Hey, you don't have to take that." One of my old bosses absolutely refused to let people treat me like that, and couldn't understand why I just didn't seem to care. Then again, back then, *I* had no clue that I was even doing that and just assumed it was a skill I'd developed.
@@Laura-gb1jv This made me laugh. I usually agree with the sentiment with a slow sage nod when somebody is deliberatley insulting to me.
I'm the opposite sadly, I recognise passive aggression and then get angry at the person and blow things out of proportion. I'm sensitive in general and have gotten fired/walked out of jobs because of this.
I turn the music down when I need to look both ways while driving. Some songs (that are my current repeat song) drive me to tears because I feel the music so intensely. When I was a teen, my obsession song was American Pie. I used to call radio stations and BEG them to play the long version (it's 14 minutes long) and my dad eventually just bought me the CD. I remember sitting in the kitchen for an entire day listening to the same song on loop.
But the one that really got me was the empathy one. I have had full-on panic attacks in theaters because I was feeling what the people in the movies were feeling so intensely I couldn't control myself. I now have a list of rules for the type of movies I can and cannot watch and how the people I'm with need to react when I have to step out or cover my face/head during the movie.
When my boys were little I used to say (I didn't know I was autistic) "If you ask me now I will say no". That gave me time to actually listen when I was in a better mental space
I also say to my support workers "I don't read body language well, so if I ask for something you are not comfortable doing just say no - that will make my life so much easier when I don't have to second guess myself"
I told my kids the same thing. "I need to think about it" means exactly that. If they pushed for an answer, the answer was no.
I remember that I saw a 'bingo card' on Insta on autism and it finally clicked that I don't just have ADHD, I'm autistic+ADHD, and the phrase of the card that made me realize this was something along the lines of "at school being kinda bullied but also being friends with everyone"
man this comment made me realize maybe i was covertly bullied by some people and just never noticed cuz i was such a happy kid and teen. kind of oblivious to negative things, if i am remembering correctly.
I can't afford to pursue a diagnosis right now so I've been on a research journey for a couple of years now, and this is the first I've ever heard someone mention the transition thing and I really relate. I always thought it was just being unmotivated due to depression and anxiety but maybe there is more to it.
Yes, learning about difficulty with transitions has really made a big difference for me!
@Mom on the Spectrum I'm so thankful for channels like yours because it has helped me so much with better understanding neurodivergence and therefore myself. So much of what I have learned from seeing others actually talk about their experiences is not mentioned in self tests or I guess what you would call "clinical" information that is provided. Or a lot of it actually contradicts the "symptoms" listed. Thank you for videos like this, it's so helpful. :)
@@tayto5956 also look up the term "autistic inertia"! I just found out about it and it makes a lot of sense
I have the transition thing a lot. One of the times when I tend to snack on things I shouldn't is when it's time to change activities -- when I've finished my household chores and have a chance to work on a hobby, for example. I used to do it when I got home from work in the afternoon. And I love dozing off in my chair instead of going to bed at a proper bedtime.
This resonated with me. Just getting up and going to bed. Such a simple thing that can make the next day so miserable. So, wondering how I can fix this.
The way I use IMDB while watching a movie because I need to know the actors and extras about said movie. It drives my husband nuts. I am not diagnosed but I am either autistic with adhd or adhd with autistic tendencies but not actually autistic. Even without the diagnosis, knowing this about myself has been extremely helpful for me to accept myself.
because absolutely everything is connected ! How can someone not want to know about the connections?
I do this too! I just spent Rocky 1-4 researching every actor that interested me. Did you know Sylvester Stalones second son, Seargeoh, was diagnosed with Autisim at the age of 3? Stalone and his wife established a research fund for Autisim administered by the National Society for Children and Adults with Autisim. 😊
I do this! I focus really hard on an actor in a movie/show when I know I recognize them until I remember what else I've seen them in. Kind of a game I play with myself. But once I remember, I'll tell my partner who usually doesn't believe it's so & so from that movie 15 years ago, then I'll look it up, and I'm almost always right. It's so silly but gives me immeasurable satisfaction
@@rrrrrfffff Yes, that is normal. Looking up actors on IMDB doesn't indicate autism.
@@wisecoconut5 It is perfectly normal to research actors in movies on the IMDB. That's not an indication of autism. You may have a different personality type than your friends, who don't do that. Maybe something is wrong with them.
I'm literally crying at work while listening. I am starting to learn about autism. I started for my sister (nonbio) but then realized I might be too. And this is all the things I can't explain to people. Thank you!😊
24 wow. I was diagnosed last year, and it has been a mind-blowing experience. Knowing i am not broken, just different
24/25 😂 Diagnosed AuDHD 8 days ago in my 40s.
I didn't mark off safe foods because I flip constantly between craving novelty and craving the familiar (AuDHD tug-of-war.) Otherwise, the rest is bang-on!
yes good point about the AuDHD tug of war with food! I can switch into this mode, too.
Same! (20 or 21/25)
Last time I was traveling by plane and wanted to get something to eat at the airport before figuring out the light rail system to my hotel, and struggled SO much figuring out which restaurant to order from. I literally wandered back & forth between 2 areas for... 45 minutes? An hour and a half? Maybe longer?
I kept rejecting the Subways and other familiar places on the grounds that I had access to those all the time in my hometown, wanting to experience something new as the lack of variety in my 56k population city has always bummed me out. But at the same time I was extremely stressed out over the trip getting there itself (also how I almost missed my taxi to the airport b/c I couldn't find my proof of vaccination for the event I was going to, and didn't even find it until the day AFTER arriving/the day of event a few hours before it started) so I was craving a safe food SO bad, and my inability to just make a decision only made things worse.
(I eventually settled on a local chain specializing in fish&chips, so familiar comfort food but still new experience)
Still not officially diagnosed but I got 23/25. I did choose safe foods because I get stuck in food ruts and eat the same things. I’m not like my son who has eaten chicken nuggets every day for months now, but I got really upset when I’m found out they stopped selling wraps in the school cafeteria where I worked last year. That really messed up my lunch routine. Sounds silly but I hate not having what I want. It was my safe food. Now it’s salads. If I cannot get a salad I just don’t eat out and wait til I can get home. I will eat other foods, but I only eat salads at restaurants. I was at a restaurant recently with my husband and son and thought about getting fish tacos but when the server came to take the order, guess what I ordered. Yes. I’ll have the house salad please.
22 / 25 here and I'm not autistic at all. Figures the list isn't correct representation
Safe foods for me rotate on an erratic and unpredictable calendar.
You are not alone in the ability to feel others feelings and intensely. I am relieved that this recurrent ability has another source other than being "codependent." I have been beating myself up for this one for decades.
here's to learning how to give ourselves more grace as we learn to navigate whatever the name for it is 🥂
@@MomontheSpectrum Absolutely
There have been times that I have watched on in a detached way as I was being cheated. Knowing full well what was going on but being so overwhelmed by the anguish, desperation and pain that I could sense from my abuser that I couldn't bring myself to object. Obviously I know that's dangerous and it's one aspect of myself that I desperately try to moderate. I am usually successful enough that I can live with it without feeling as though I am betraying myself in either direction. I have to be a little harder than I like but my life is a little humbler than I'm comfortable with so it balances roughly.
I sighed. I'm 46 and I've been reading and following many people for over a year now. I got 100. The ADHD is in the bag. I was late diagnosed there... It wasn't until a friend was diagnosed that I even wondered what it might look like. And here I am. 😂.
🙏
I’m the other way round, I never thought I might be ADD as I’m not ‘hyper’ but I’m learning that maybe I am 😬
I have both ASD and ADHD late diagnosed for both 23 for ASD and 40 for ADHD because I am a woman
@@julierosie62 Absolute truth! It wasn't until after I was diagnosed with both types of ADHD and learned up that I realized I had all the behaviors. I had no idea all that was ADHD. I was like "that's not normal? Not everyone does this?" and it was rather eye-opening.
All 25. The good news? I won! I won! I've won by finding a great community to feel a part of. Thanks, Taylor!
I often am the only person in the room to stick my fingers in my ears with loud music, trains, ambulances, etc.
Wow. I'm diagnosed ADHD, and suspect ASD. Checked everything but the bluntness box, although I used to be blunt. While I appreciate directness, I can be overly sensitive to what feels like criticism. My keen sense of justice and high empathy 😄 has caused me to dial back my bluntness over the years. On the plus side, when someone genuinely wants clear, direct feedback I'm good at providing it without being harsh. And boy, the song thing (and movies, in my case)--I'm having a really hard time not listing every fixation from the time I was 10. 😁
That’s excellent. That is a skill, direct feedback without harshness. Seems like you are managing things well.😁
Aw u can indulge. All ears
Also diagnosed ADHD and suspect ASD. I got 21/25 of these. I try and think of myself as direct rather than blunt. I've learned to say things a bit more tactfully, but a lot of people don't get my honesty or assume I mean something I don't.
I'm a woman who just turned 37 and have also just discovered that I'm autistic. It's been...a rollercoaster ride for sure. Unbelievably validating and traumatic at the same time. It's like I'm reading/watching my autobiography. And of course I've been devouring all the info I can on it, lol, that's my jam!
I’m 58 and you’re so not alone
I'm 27 and had straight A until higher education. I was looking into ADHD diagnostic with how much I struggled all my life but no one put the finger on it since I was good in school & good at masking until then. I had issue with communication but avoided it as much as a I could yet still ended up burned out from working and dealing with clients...
I don't have an official diagnosis & I haven't even asked my parents for paterns or other things of my yought I don't remember, but research mode is just connecting dots from my past + when I talked about it to my partner of 5+ years and at least one close friend who just found out they were autistic at the same age & both said it wasn't even a question to them 😅 / they tought I knew
I don't know where this will lead me, but it sure does feel like a bit of weight off my shoulder. Geting a diagnostic might get be back in school to learn other thing the "normal way" 😊
"I can't hear you the lights are too bright." IYKYK.
And damn I feel called out.
haha glad i'm not alone in this
This just made me cry and just about checked everything off. I'll be talking a little more about it to my therapist.
"Research Mode" needs to be a t-shirt.
What about making a music playlist and not being able to stop? I'm stuck on my phone for hours once I start (self-diagnosed ASD/ADHD).
ooooh yes I totally relate to this!
I'm officially diagnosed but I've told almost no one. The two friends that I've told have pushed back saying that the diagnosis must be wrong because I'm empathic and have learned to make reasonable eye contact. I hate feeling defensive and second- guessing my own experience. Thank you for shedding a little light on aspects of different parts of our experiences.
My current listen-on-repeat song is Sara Bareilles' cover of Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.
I just asked Alexa to play that song. It makes me want to cry. It’s very pretty. I never knew Sara did a cover of it. I love Elton John’s version so I knew I’d like this no matter what. Wanted you to know
@@jenniferjenkins1979 Thanks for listening! I’m glad you enjoyed it, too.
Using "research mode" to find that song... 😅
❤ me some Sara
I listen to the same song hundreds of times; I also watch the same shows over and over. It’s extremely comforting to me. Sometimes when I workout I will listen to the same song the entire time
I think I relate to all of this (a couple of these weren't all of the time, but most of them were). & I am also super empathetic.
I hadn't realized that getting stuck in the car, or trying to leave places, was a transition issue until you said it, & I was just like "OhMyGod That's why I do that!" (My new doctor just said they'd give me a referral for ASD testing)
Wow that's awesome, good for u
Taylor,THANK YOU! I’m 65 discovered I was on the spectrum a couple years ago. I relate to so very many of these. Particularly paradoxical reactions to meds. Benadryl makes me hyper and it will NEVER help me sleep! RESEARCH- my favorite thing to do. Why don’t others want to know “why”? 😉. Comfort over style always. Rarely will join a last minute offer .. have to think about it for a day or so. Was just thinking about the honesty/bluntness thing.. my therapist says I’m “unusually honest”. So I guess most of the world lies all the time making excuses for not doing things..🤷🏻♀️I’m empathetically attached to my daughter who lives across the country. She went through some challenging months and I was a mess the whole time. And yes, I’ll make plans to do something and cancel at the last moment.. thanks for posting this video. Nice to find a group I belong with! and high fives to all the rest in this group trying to navigate this strange world! ❤
To be honest Research Mode is a lot of "Am I Autistic? Signs of autism? Difference between Autism and ADHD? etc."
I'm neurodivergent. I have been through the process in the UK and according to the phycologist I am a point off being autistic and a point off being ADHD. I am very much both, but have spent so many years masking I don't know where I end and the masking starts. I scored quite high on your bingo card lol
Sounds like a bad psychologist issue. Find another
I checked off all of them! I'm just discovering (8 months) that I am AuADHD and I'm 63! I'm actually pleased to be neurodivergent. It explains so much of my life and the issues that I have had throughout. I just wish I had discovered this many many years ago. I'm now so very proud to be AuADHD. Its my super power and my nemesis! Who want to be the same as everyone else?
23. This is the post I would have written so I'll just say ditto.
Absolutely same as you, but I'm 50, and i checked 25 too! I'm chuffed to finally be getting to know the real 'me' and thrilled I'm not alone!💚
Having a mental disability is not a super power. It means that something is wrong with you. You can be a unique individual without pretending to have a disability.
@@carolann811 Don't follow foolish people. She's trying to be unique by claiming to have a disability. You can be unique without that.
Oh my gosh, I’m a 58 year old woman who was recently diagnosed with ADHD. I have long wondered if I am on the spectrum and after all of my deep dives and listening to others, I believe I am autistic. For so long autism was a critical, bad word- it was that one kid in class who was “special” who spent a lot of time in the nurses office. Such stigma. I still get told on occasion, by other adults, that I’m weird, have weird interests, don’t understand certain people’s sense of humor, etc. it’s refreshing to find this TH-cam channel. Thank you
I got 20/25 on the bingo card, so many things that resonate with me. I've been diagnosed about 5 years ago. These past 5 years were NOT easy, but now that I understand and accept my needs, I'm a lot happier in life. I'm so grateful for TH-camrs like you for sharing the autistic experience, it made me feel less alone, and I got a lot of helpful tips, tricks, and insights in how to deal with my autism.
There is never NOT a song running in my head- its like some song takes the place of an inner monologue for me 🎵🎶 I wonder if this qualifies as a kind of mental stim? 🤔 Research mode: activated!
Yeah, got it as well and my son too :D ... he is diagnosed, I am not yet, but for 95% autistic as well :) ... For this reason, that we have always some song/track/sounds in our heads, we hate when someone puts on radio on the car for example :D ... Ouch...
I think it is a type of stimming as well yeah :)
❤
Me too. Sometimes I go to sleep with a song, and wake up to pee with a different song, and wake up in the morning with a 3rd song. Sometimes it's just the same one. Mental stimming makes sense, especially for us late diagnosed bc it's more socially acceptable than singing or having musick on all the time...although I have always done those a lot too.
Always a song, or a rhythm. Nonstop. Usually rhythm.
I’m literally crying watching this. Im almost certain that this is me. I’ve been researching it for a few weeks now and it all makes sense.
I listen to the same song for weeks... sometimes months ..but it changes depending on what I am going through or what I need...p.s.I checked off everything except light touch...I ...I need to know you for a while before I even feel comfortable shaking hands...but I was cracking up during most of your video because I get it...I love being Autistic...I was diagnosed at age 49 changed my life...Having the tools and services really helps to navigate this world that is often cruel and unjust... being diagnosed helped me to finally understand why I have had so much difficulty living a "normal" life...Thanks for sharing this bingo
What song do I listen to over and over and over? Hm... That depends on the day. I have a distinct bias towards songs that were popular when I was a kid, in the fabulous 1980's. My kids and I were just listening to "99 Luftballoons" by Nena repeatedly the other day. Singing in German is one freaking awesome stim!
99 Luftballoons is a great one! 🎈
Love that one. Plus Take On Me, by a-ha.
Oh wow .. foreign language is a stim??? Boy, that would explain a lot ... I have a lot to learn about all this. My clinician didn't tell me much !! 🤯
You're not alone! My affective empathy his too high. I get so overwhelmed by other people's affect all the time. It's a big part of my needing so much alone time to process it all 😭
Love the Bingo game idea ❤
Yes! Same! And when I tell people I'm exhausted by others' energy, all my friends think I'm coocoo!
I finally realised big groups are not good for me. More than 4 people (including myself is overwhelming). If I can’t avoid the larger group, I try to find a spot I can take in everyone’s reaction. Since following this, I’ve had way fewer instances of being overwhelmed in social situations (funnily I am pretty out going though it’s draining).
Sometimes I just go to the restroom or get drinks for everyone to allow my system a few quite minutes.
As usual: full bingo card for me. Though one square was a "Yes, but for me it's like..."
This made me think of a few other traits that I wonder if others relate to...or maybe they're just me.
-my handwriting can change vastly even in the same sentence.
-I often downplay my struggles assuming that it's something everyone experiences but they're better at dealing with it (and I just don't know that it's a ND trait/struggle because I can only be inside my own brain).
-in verbal communication I often find myself saying the parenthetical information/details before I even say the subject/ real meat of the sentence. Example "I know this isn't really relevant until next year and we already have several of them, although my mom wanted to borrow some and I'd like to replace the worn ones before fall, but..." So no one knows I'm talking about lawn chairs until all the background info is laid out.
Over the years I've trained myself to "announce" the subject first - ei "Lawn chairs" - then proceed. This can be expanded, later, into something like "I've been thinking about the lawn chairs." Especially helpful when it happens in a work setting.
I just recently started to suspect I'm an undiagnosed adult and keep coming back to learn more about autism after I go to weddings. I've always had trouble with crowded, loud environments, but for the most part it's never been too hard to avoid those situations. But weddings are a much larger social obligation than something like friends wanting you to meet them at a bar. And every time I'm at a wedding I'm just entirely overwhelmed. For me it's the noise, I just can't process it all. It's like I can't hear, because I'm hearing everything. I think it's also hard for me to isolate the voices of people who are talking to me with so much background noise, and even when I do I can't quite comprehend what is being said. I just get bits and pieces but can't always put it all together. For me it's one of the most isolating environments. Even though I'm surrounded by people I can't communicated with anyone.
Relatable.
Even since my nephew was born I’m even more motivated to get myself diagnosed bc I’m sure he’s also autistic and I know it will be easier for him to find an accurate diagnosis if his family are also accurately diagnosed.
That last box hit so hard. I planned a big surprise for my mom’s 70th, wasn’t able to rely on anyone else to help. And while everyone thought it went well, it cause me a full on meltdown for basically the whole weekend and ruined my experience because I got so stuck on the plan that I couldn’t cope when things went wrong or we had to pivot. 😢 very helpful Bingo! I feel very seen. Thank you!
I totally understand the part about being seen. And I understand about planning a party like you mentioned. I have twin boys and planned a great party for their 18th birthday. I had a lot of great ideas, but invitations were not well done. I know that sounds stupid, but I really didn’t know who to invite. Probably my people pleasing issue was part of that. In the end, it was the most dismal get together ever. We laugh about it, but it still stings inside my heart.
Keeping track:
People pleasing.
1. Yes, always really nice and trying to keep good flow in conversations, and then when the conversations end I realize my entire body is tense and I’m panicking. Like im tired from doing a performance.
2. Routines are sacred.
Yes, I like to make sure everything is clean, every Friday I do a pre weekend reset and make sure everything is clean before the weekend so nothing gets in my way or overwhelms me on the weekends. In the mornings before I go anywhere I have to do my morning routine and wear similar clothes each day to stay calm and comfortable, if my clothes aren’t right I won’t go. There is a lot of small parts in my routine that I feel compelled to do before I leave the door. But I also get very distracted trying to fully complete my routine at the same time.
3. Trouble getting into bed.
YES YES.
I used to think I was a night owl but I realize my brain just doesn’t turn off unless I genuinely allow it to. My partner can fall asleep anywhere but I toss and turn and can’t get comfortable and can’t stop thinking. I also need to do a big clean up as a wind down- to tire myself out before bed. Most the time I can’t sleep and end up playing Pokémon go on my phone until I get more mentally tired.
I also worry about the time I have left to sleep, when I’m trying to fall asleep my inner monologue is like “okay, 6 hours of sleep, focus go to bed, you need ti be up early” and so on until I stop talking to myself and fall asleep.
4. Secret stems:
Nail biting, nail skin chewing, hair pulling, scratching, rubbing my hands on my pants, spinning coins in tables, going on my phone to Pokémon go when I’m anxious.
5. Knowing more about others than ourselves.
Yes I find myself obsessively wondering about others personalities and issues. When I walk into a room full of people I feel like I can see who people really are deep down, beneath their clothes and aesthetics. And I’m always talking about others like “they’re really nice, did you know they…” and so on, trying to get other people’s opinions to try and clarify my thoughts about them. I had emotionally abusive parents and I think I always try to understand people really well to see if I can trust them. But most the time I ignore everyone until they talk to me, I just listen to what their saying all the time.
Listening to the same song over and over:
YES YES, I always get obsessed with one song at a time, and anytime I go into my car or put my headphones on I start with the same song over and over until I get into a new song. Right now is my love is mine all mine by mitsiki.
Tummy problems.
Yes but I have bad diet, and I drink alcohol and eat a lot of dairy so it kind of makes sense,
Safe foods:
Yes, I always order the same things at restaurants and eat the same things at home and the same drinks. If something isn’t made the way I like it, I won’t try it or eat it. There was a lot of nights my parents tried to force me to eat things I hated and made me sit at the table until I did with things like burgers with onions in them and I would pick all the onions out of the burger and barely touch the meat and sit there for hours until they let me go. I’m still the type of person to always get chicken fingers and fries or Mac and cheese or grilled cheese.
A lot of times if my favourite foods aren’t cooked the way I like I get very upset, especially if I mess it up some how.
Triggered by light touch:
Yes, I hate it
Delayed touch:
Omg yessss, I need to leave to process and then respond. My boyfriend will apologize to me and I’ll just slowly walk away with a thinking look in my face. He always try’s to rush me out of this state and ask things like “do you forgive me? Are we good, hello???” And I become irritated because I’m like “yesssss yessss I’m just thinking” and then it upsets him more because it’s taking me so long or something, or he wants better instant gratification.
Making a list and hating it:
Kind of, I only make lists when I know I need to remember stuff at the grocery store. The only feeling I hate about it is that I like to organize lists in order of how I’d walk in the store and if I don’t make it that way then I get anxious about it.
Research mode:
Yes, ima Keats looking stuff up and researching and googling when I wanna know something randomly.
Sitting in your car for longer:
Yes and no, depending on how late I am because I’m always late. I’ll actually sit in my car for longer when I’m late and when I’m not late I get out right away, it’s weird.
Headphones:
Yes, I recently just lost one of my AirPods and I’ve been having a really hard time at school. I feel overwhelmed and having Lofi music or music from my favourite games makes me feel very calm and lately I’ve been not happy at school.
Sensitive to alcohol and caffeine and drugs:
No not really
Feeling what others are feeling:
Very much so, I feel like I communicate telepathically, I cry and feel very deeply when given the right story.
Needing to know why:
Yes, I’m always asking why.
Wishing others ask good questions:
Yes, I like the energy I give people and I feel excited about certain things and I feel excited to know their opinions on things and when they never ask me interesting stuff about myself I feel like they don’t think of me or they don’t care about me.
Comfy clothes always:
YES, I genuinely cannot fucking stand uncomfortable clothes. I will not go to important things if I don’t wear something that is comfortable and looks good.
Easily upset by injustice:
Yes, when watching tv or watching a video or whatever, if someone or an animal is getting treated unfairly I put a lot of energy and emotion into the topic, the other day I went on for twenty minutes about how Ronnie from on undercover boss was wrongfully fired and why and how upset that makes me.
No one is blunt:
Yes I feel weird for my bluntness and like other people will find me rude
Planning things perfectly:
Yes, I like to vocalize my plans and make sure I know what’s going on before I go
Thanks for sharing your experiences here! I'm sure this will be helpful to others in the community who see what you've written up here. :)
22. 😮 I actually cried lol. Feeling not so lonely, thank you for this ❤
you're so welcome! and you're definitely not alone. there is an incredible community here who will listen to you and validate your experiences. I hope you find yourself at home here!
about routines for AuDHD people: I’m autistic and pretty sure I have ADHD, the way I combat the whole routine thing is by devising weekly routines, so I have that routine but also have some variety each week. This just helps keep it a little less boring for me!
I thought I would not score any at the beginning but I scored 17. I also have Alexithymia which is common in autistic people but means I do not feel things in the same way as other autistic people.
Some of yours made me laugh out loud. Like "why isn't everyone as blunt as me" and "needing to know why". Being easily upset by injustice is probably my strongest one though.
"I need firm, deep pressure. Or else." 🤣 Look out! 🤣
I bingo-ed too many times lol. The gastro issues are soooo real. I got diagnosed with Crohn's right before autism. Also, the "being clear is being kind" idea is something that I feel strongly. I'd rather be blunt and have everyone on the same page than have someone confused because I made something too floral-y.
Absolutely! 💯
Long suspected I'm on the spectrum, I strongly relate to so many of these and some of them I didn't realise were common in people on the spectrum e.g the light touch, the absorbing feelings and especially needing time to process speech. I get so frustrated when people ask me questions and then assume I don't know/am just not answering because it takes me a while to comprehend what's been said and formulate a coherent response.
Suspecting here also. Have you ever had a tendency to say no to every question. Just to say something in the "acceptable" time window given when a question is put directly to you? No being the pre programmed answer, not the right answer in retro aspect.
I'm just discovering that I may be Autistic at age 48 and the flashbacks of my childhood and school counselors and things people said to me that I didn't get at the time is flooding me right now. I hit all but maybe 2 of your bingo points. The research mode especially. I'm always down the rabbit hole researching. This was video was very helpful.
Literally September. I used to hate the song because it’s was remixed. But in a very profound day in my life, it came back in childhood. Are you me? I relate to your points immensely.
There were several items on the bingo card that made me laugh because it describes my feelings perfectly. Easily upset by injustice did get an audible guffaw out of me because I feel it so much and your point about how it makes the world much more stressful at this point in history is spot on. Light touch is definitely a trigger for me, but not in an upsetting way, but in a "just got struck by lightning" kind of way. I jump when touched unexpectedly. Finally to answer your question about what song I've put on repeat for long periods: Dr. Worm by They Might Be Giants. It's such a great bop; I highly recommend it.
Halfway through, and have checked off every single one so far. I am 33 years old and have not yet received a formal diagnosis (I am diagnosed ADHD), but am one million percent sure I am HFA. You're videos have validated so much of my life and current everyday experience. Thank you
I did not tick on 2 boxes, which are “sensitive to caffeine” and “triggered by light touch”. My go-to song when I’m in a good mood is Hotel California. I could play it again, again, and again.
That’s wild. Also autistic and my go-to is Hotel California.
I’ve only just been diagnosed and this video made me cry. I have never felt so seen, and I have a sense of relief now knowing why my brain works a little bit differently.
19 yesses
4 maybes
only 2 definite nos
I'd say that's pretty solid, and I'm not yet even officially diagnosed (but working on that).
18/25. I often have songs repeating in my head, even if I'm not listening to a device.
I take on other people's emotions a lot too.
I always have a song going in my head, always ...every waking moment, no headphones just in the background of my life.
Current song that tops the list multiple times a day is Save Me by Danielle Nicole band. I am super musical, so for me it isn't so much a song, but more a person. I apparently have a preference for female voices. I'll spend weeks, months, years stuck on certain artists. Thanks for the A+ content Tay!
Because it is true that I can't stand injustice, my song on repeat it's usually something by Rage Against the Machine 🙃
I agree being clear, stop the waffle and then having to try and work out what they are trying to say and then usually getting it wrong.
Was just diagnosed last week. I'm 38yrs old. Legit 95% of the things you said are 100% me. Wow. Thank you for this
The song I listen to over and over: Baba Yetu by Christopher Tin. It gives me goosebumps every time, even after a thousand times.
I've now listened to it 5 times in a row. lol Beautiful, and it does make most of the mammalian hair on my body stand on end a few different times, each time I've listened to it. th-cam.com/video/r0kkzHGa-gY/w-d-xo.html
Thank you for posting this beautiful song~
I love this, thank you for the time and energy you put into this. I’m AuDHD and appreciate you took time to recognize routines can maddening! I didn’t know so many other people are not thrilled with light touch. I got all of these other than the sensitive to caffeine/alcohol/medication, because I don’t even know what my normal response to those is anymore. Thank you for caring, too, about littles needing to know “why”, little me just felt so seen!
Hi Taylor, thank you for the hard work and for putting yourself out here for autistic people and those close to them. I'm from Thailand, 35 and informally diagnosed about a year ago. From few months ago I've watched a bunch of youtube autism-related videos and life has been intensely unpacking, I have so much to say but don't want to dump it all on here so I'll just start with the bingo topic. I scored a lot less that I thought, 12 points but the most intense were delayed processing, following through my own plans, and very confused about emotions. sometimes I just feel things really intense that I froze or just not sure whether I'm feeling something or not.
Anyway keep up the good work, will stop by on other videos.
Loved the video especially the bit about the ear buds. I'm undiagnosed but recently discovered how much calmer ear plugs make me feel, like in noisy shopping malls. I took my ear plugs to a social function recently and stuck them in after about 40 minutes. It was a noisy room but with ear plugs I could have a conversation without shouting or being shouted at. I enoucouraged others to put their fingers in their ears so they understood the benefits. Might have converted a couple at least. Keep up the good work.
I scored 2 out of 25. I recently worked out I have ADHD in my early fourties and I’ve been looking into autism too but I’m increasingly sure I’m not on the spectrum myself. Thanks for the video though - good to understand and clarify.
The one about being afraid to use the word autism actually made me cry it hit me so hard. It made me feel so much better about pursuing a professional diagnosis. That it isn't stupid to think I'm autistic.
And I got all of them but "understanding other people better than myself" because I don't understand people at all lol. But I'm also simultaneously very empathetic. I'm like a dog, feeling other's feelings but not understanding anything happening.
there’s no way these behaviors would be part of actual autism or it’s diagnosis. can it be okay just to be quirky? we all are i promise. we all need belonging too but really these symptoms are traits are that bad? what does a professional administering of labels help with even. other than fitting into a group who are obsessed seeming w how their quirks make them sooo different. just look at the DSM. it’s all horseshit non scientific anyways.
@@chinmeysway I was giving you the benefit of the doubt until the end... Also, I don't have the energy to argue, but I'll still explain my experience..
I AM actually autistic too, so keep that in mind. A professional diagnosis gave me empowerment. You say "we're all quirky" well that's a bad thing in society. Being "different" with no understanding as to why is hell. I felt like an actual alien outsider my entire life. But I found out I was autistic and everything made sense. I suddenly wasn't alone for the 1st time. Thousands of people experience what I experience. I do finally belong.
Late diagnosed level 2 29F doing some heckin autism bingo (18/25)
1. People pleasing - Nope, demand avoidance tendencies/loud opinions/extreme morals/stubborn
2. Routines - Yep
3. Bed time transitions - Yep
4. Secret stims - Yep
5. Knowing more about others than yourself - Half point maybe, I do tend to psychoanalyze people but I also do it to myself.
6. Songs on repeat - Yep (Having a random Billie Eilish hyperfixation atm)
7. GI issues - Yep (Hi IBS crew)
8. Safe foods - Yep (Hi ARFID crew)
9. Light touch - Half point because no one should ever touch me at all :D
10. Auditory processing disorder - Yep
11. Lights are too bright - Nope, daylight is too bright for sure, but I don't relate to this specific experience.
12. Making a list and hating it - Nope (No ADHD)
13. Research mode - Yep
14. Sitting in your car for longer than intended - Half point; Definitely not able to have/drive a car with my level of support needs but I understand the transitioning issue.
15. Headphones - Yep
16. Sensitive to substances - Yep
17. High empathy - Yep
18. Wanting to be alone but lonely - Nope, I don't experience loneliness, I don't know what it is, a HUGE privilege from what I gather.
19. "Why?" - Yep
20. Ability to ask good questions - Half point; I resonate with this to a certain extent, but I don't necessarily feel that I need it to be reciprocated
21. Comfy clothes - Yep (Hi sweatsuit crew)
22. Justice/morals - Yep
23. Bluntness - Yep
24. Appropriating terms - Nope, there wasn't a lot of time between realizing I was autistic and getting a formal diagnosis because we went private (sick of being misdiagnosed for 16 years). I think imposter syndrome is also probably more common among those with low support needs than higher support needs.
25. Planning vs executive dysfunction - Yep
Thanks for sharing your score here with us!
"Sticking to safe foods." I travel a lot for work, and I mostly eat at chain restaurants to avoid chancing having something I detest in my meal that I wasn't expecting. I can't eat mushrooms, okra, sauces on sandwiches, peppers, and other things with similar texture. "Mixed vegetables" on a menu scares me.
"Research Mode" One of my best friends always calls me Cliff Clavin because I always have knowledge about almost any subject.
"Comfy clothes always" I will not wear turtlenecks, sweaters, wool or any other material that's rough. I've cut the tags out of all my clothes since I can remember. I've been going comando since I was 14. I only own 1 suit that has only been worn 4 or 5 times in the last 40 years.
"Planning things perfectly and being unable to execute" I plan nothing. My wife does all the planning.
Edit: I forgot one.
"Why isn't everyone as blunt as me?" I have a lack of social niceties that most people take for granted. When you sneeze I do not say "god bless you" ever, nor do I say thank you when you say it to me. It's not in my vocabulary, and I don't understand why it has endured for so long since we've known for a long time that a sneeze is not blowing out demons. If you knock on my door to sell something or solicit a donation, I answer the door with "I'm not interested." It actually bothers me that my wife will stand there going back and forth with a salesperson instead of shooing them away like I would.
How got to be considered an edible food is one of the great mysteries of the universe.
“Mixed vegetables” is one of the scariest phrases to see on a restaurant menu
@@notNajimi OMG Yes!
Definitely 21, up to 24 depending how you interpret. The Wanting to be alone but feeling lonely hit hard, but the Research Mode and Why was so eye opening I can't even begin to say how grateful I am that you talked about it. This could describe 90% of my life.
have not been officially diagnosed yet (finding someone in my area that one has an opening for new patients and 2 takes my insurance is a real pain), however, i thought this was fun and got 19/25 which i think is pretty on point for me, several of them really jumped out as things that are very much me. Funnily enough, i had my friend do this as well and she got 9/25 though she's not really on the spectrum but shows a few of the markers.
I somehow managed to cross off 16 squares without actually getting a Bingo x'D
love that you played FOR REAL lol
I relate to almost all of that. Especially the Audhd aspects. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 52 (a couple of years ago), but I'm 95% sure I'm also autistic.
I loop the song I need. Music is one of my main emotional regulation tools. If I need to burn off bad emotions I loop some specific sad or angry song. But most of the time I keep the demons dancing with upbeat songs.
Music is one of my main emotional regulation tools too.
I got literally teared up with many of these, some from relief, many from laughter. Being a recently late diagnosed autistic, it was a solace to come across your content. Thank you! Love from Brazil.
This is such a great list! In fact, I’m even a bit baffled, since there are 3 things on there, that happen to be pretty debilitating aspects of my life, but I’ve never made the connection to my autism before.
1. Knowing more about others than yourself, which to me translates to feeling what other people feel, before I recognize my own feelings or needs. 2. Process delay. Wow! For me, it’s exactly how you described it. What a drag. In most social situations my brain only works on the most superficial level. Especially in a one-on-one conversation! It’s only when the conversation is over and I’m by myself again, that I’m able to process, what was talked about. So annoying, especially in job or administrative contexts. 3. Easily upset about injustice. This tends to drive me nuts. I guess, that’s mostly because I like rules and get very uncomfortable when they’re being broken.
Thank you so much!
Currently going through the assessment process for ASD (and potentially ADHD). I got all 25 lol. The always wanting to know why thing...my mom was always saying how overly analytical I was over everything from idioms to commercials lol. Your videos are so validating, thank you.
This is a big one for me as well. I can't really learn how to do something unless I understand the reasons for it and how it fits contextually with everything else.
What I find funny about always knowing why? Is that I used to be like that more but now as an adult I find it annoying in other people.
For example whenever I try to explain something to my dad he always needs to know why and it drives me crazy sometimes. I guess I know how he felt my whole life. He's also diagnosed with Autism btw.
Laughed out loud at the last one...just had a highly-planned road trip from hell. Still decompressing after being back home for three days. 😂 Resonate with so much of this! Thank you for the support. ❤
You’re so welcome! Thanks for your comment.
Most definitely got a good number of these 🤣 I am recently self-diagnosed, with RAADS scores in the 70s and a CAT-Q of 155. I’ve masked so hard my whole life that I’m not even always aware yet of when something resonates with me. My first time taking the RAADS I scored a 71, and I answered “no” to a lot of things I later realized I actually do. Like hating to be interrupted - I really answered “no” on all the questionnaires like “I can totally roll with the punches”… and then I started paying attention to it and realized I actually fill with rage when I’m interrupted in the middle of something! The second time I took the RAADS, I’d become aware of more things and my score went up to 79. I’m sure I’d be higher still today. Having a lot of imposter syndrome over all of this, like am I faking it to get a higher score or something?? But deep in the core of my being I’m certain it’s true. Thanks so much for your channel 💕 I’ve been watching a lot and it’s helping me understand. I’ve been in full-on research mode about autism lately, and now I just have to figure out how to get the TH-cam algorithm to stop showing me *only* autism content because it’s crowding out channels for my usual special interest, nutrition 😅 The struggle!!
The same for me... recently self-diagnosed, but haven't said anything to anyone because I'm sure that they won't believe me... and I definitely have imposter syndrome and doubting it even though most of the stuff I see in all the autism related videos seems to resonate with me. It was one of Taylor's videos on autism in women that randomly popped up one day on my feed and it just resonated with me and suddenly everything made sense. There's still a lot of stuff I'm not sure of... at first I was like "I don't stim, I'm not sure what it is" but then realize I fidget constantly (anything from wrapping my hair around my fingers, tugging on my hair when it's in a braid, swinging my feet, tapping my feet, playing with a hair tie or something else small...)... and there were other things I thought I didn't do but realized I do, like masking.
I got 147 on RAADS (I hate that test...it's too all or nothing I don't "Only" or "Never" anything, 122 on CAT-Q , 33 on AQ...
@@ashleyien1222 I can totally relate!! I never noticed how much I stim either, but now I’m starting to see all the things I do, like the specific things in my car’s center console that I play with repetitively while I drive. And I’ve always been a chronic nail/cuticle biter/picker. The most obvious one I recognized first is that I have a very specific and difficult-to-explain pattern by which I wiggle my toes 😅 I’ve told a few select friends so far (I have several who also happen to be suspicious they’re autistic - we definitely do find each other!), and my husband, who by the end of the convo agreed he was probably autistic as well. Funnily enough I’ve secretly suspected him for years, but never myself. But I feel the same fear you described of not being believed. I’m terrified people will just say “oh that’s normal, everybody does that or feels that way” and just minimize and brush me off. Or worse, think I’ve really lost it this time. It’s so vulnerable.
@@rehtaeH013wanted to jump in and say I empathize so much with what you both said.
Imposter syndrome is real. I tick sooooo many boxes but I'm still somehow unable to admit it to myself or others. Not that anyone needs to know but I feel like its such an intrinsic part of me that its deeply important, but I'm not able to talk about it.
I'm just so glad there's community like this one.
@@kj_H65f couldn’t agree more - so grateful for this community!! And you’re right too that it’s nobody’s business at the end of the day, but I feel the same way about it being such a deeply essential part of me that there are certain people I do want to tell so they have the opportunity to know all of me. I’m just trying to be as judicious as possible in who I “let in” in this way. I hope you can find an increased sense of peace with it - it’s something that took me a while of sitting with to absorb it all and claim this part of my identity, but I feel like I’m better off for it now. Sending you lots of hugs!!
Late to this video but also needed to say that I relate v much to your comment!
I’m finally getting my neuropsych evaluation in May. I’m both excited and scared and want to research everything about it (but I’m trying not to so the evaluation is not bias). However, I truly feel I’m AuDHD
Caffeine - it seems that stuff can hit me either right away or hours later. Paradoxical reactions to medications, yep, right up there with that paradoxical reaction to caffeine.
I love this video I’ve said the same exact thing before i wish everyone would be blunt and say it straightforward what they want to say , it’s confusing to me when they don’t , also I am always researching and looking things up constantly ! I ask the best questions too ❤
YES, EVERYONE PLEASE BE BLUNT!! :)
Hey Taylor, what a beautifully executed video. I ticked off 22... I just had a funny conversation with my partner who couldn't understand why I don't want to try a new type of muesli (my go to safe food since I was 17), while I couldn't understand why would I want to try a new type if I'm happy with mine....
I was going to comment "not me getting almost every one and still doubting I'm autistic" but then got to the part with "not wanting to appropriate the term autistic"💀 I think I should probably accept it at this point😂
I think we are predisposed to imposter's syndrome by virtue of traits we already have: a) awareness of trying to pretend to be what we are not to fit in, and waiting to be found out; b) always wanting more data before making a final decision; c) being skeptical of professionals' declarations. (The last two undermine us even after a formal dx..."was it good enough?")
I also have a brain that seems to see from one angle at a time...sometimes I can see the facts related to being autistic very clearly, other times my brain says "what are you on about? You look normal to me." I don't know if others have this issue. There are theories that autistic people and ADHDers have more short-range neural connections and fewer long range connections, and I've wondered if that has anything to do with it. I like that idea better than that I am working on frontotemporal dementia already (62, and my father and grandfather both had it late in life).
About ten years ago, i was seeing my primary physician and mentioned that i thought i might be autistic. She responded by saying, "Why would you want to be a victim if that?" (!!!😢). That attitude hit me so hard that i still have not gone for a formal diagnosis, but with one (almost-but-not-quite) exception, i relate strongly to every space on your card. At 76 years old, i can't tell you how helpful this video is to me.! I've always known i am "different" - as of today i am no longer diffident about a "label". Thank you so, SO much!
I will be watching everything you post on yt. You have my heartfelt gratitude ❤
I have had the "luxury" (if I can call it that) to being diagnosed at the very young age of 3, now almost 39, when I look back I think one of the differences between not have a diagnosis or receiving one at a late age is that you are more directly confronted by others. Everyone is different of course, but for myself, I think my main difference would be that I know myself above average. My "bad habits" or "work points" have been pointed out and pointed out time and time again. Which isn't easy and not fun.
You still keep thinking what's wrong with me, why can't I just change and fit in... But it took me a very long time (and after 10 years of struggling to keep a job) to find a place where I could be myself and be appreciated for it. It's still no walk in the park (figuratively speaking), but acceptably comfortable.
Thank you for sharing the Bingo chart :-) it did help clarify still some things I hadn't realised about myself