If Dabney had 3 catchphrases, they'd be "never underestimate tree law", "never screw over the IT guy", and "if you think it's so important, then you do it".
I remember back when he did his first episode of Tree Law and learned about it, it was great. I've heard him say of these over the past 4 to 5 years so many times and it's great lol, always so passionate every time he says it.
First story had an update: I didn't expect to have an update so soon, but after reading everyone's comments I decided to take action immediately and went to my brother's house. We talked for hours through the night and came up with a plan. I am going to divorce my husband. He's shown the kind of man he is and I don't want to live in or raise daughters in that kind of environment. I'm going to move in with my brother and BIL during all this. He and his husband have a nice, large house where I can have my own room and a nursery for the triplets. I originally worried that perhaps myself and three babies would be overwhelming or a burden to him and my BIL but they assured me they would love to have us here. I knew everything would be okay when my brother even offered to have a baby monitor put in their bedroom so he could help if more than one of the triplets woke up during the night. My BIL has a nice, high paying job and my brother works from home, so I will have a stable environment and my brother will help with his nieces. My own niece is excited for us to live with her. The current plan is I will live with my brother and BIL for a while and once my babies are old enough where I feel comfortable putting them in daycare, which my BIL has offered to pay for, then I can try to find a job of my own where I can save up money and eventually move into a nice place of my own with my daughters. I'm so thankful for my brother and BIL, they truly feel like angels. My brother and I are also going to go no contact with my mother. My brother and I discussed her behavior with us growing up, how she treated him when he came out and also got married, and how she's treated me these past few days. We decided this was the best course of action as we've given her many chances in our lives to became more stable and kind but she's always refused them, and we want our daughters to grow up in with a loving family. When I knew my husband had left for church this morning my brother, BIL, and I went to my house and got all my important things such as documents, clothes, and things that are special to me as well as all the baby things. My BIL's mother watched my niece while we did all this. She's a kind woman and has offered to be a grandmother to my own babies, which I happily accepted. I will admit that I cried, I've cried a lot lately, but mostly happy tears. Because my brother and I didn't go to church my ladies bible study group texted me and asked if we were alright and if we needed anything. I texted them back and told them the truth and what happened, and they were all horrified. They told me they support me and are proud of me for taking action, and are now even planning a bake sale at the church to help raise money for me and my babies. Also apparently when my husband went out to lunch after church with his men's bible group, one of the other members is husbands to one of my friends in my bible group and when he found out what happened he yelled at my husband so much that he cried. I got a little bit of joy out of hearing about that, not going to lie. My pastor even called me and asked if I'm okay, and he let me know that I'll always have people who support me at my church, which I'm very grateful for. After my husband came home from church and saw that most of my stuff was gone he blew up my phone, but my BIL called him for me and said that he would pay for my husband to get therapy for his grief over our son and also told him to leave me alone. My husband has not tried to contact me since, and he has yet to give my BIL an answer for his therapy offer. All in all I'm so grateful for my brother and BIL, I wouldn't be able to do any of this without them. I'm hopeful for the future and while this isn't the kind of future I imagined myself or my babies this is definitely the best one I can currently give them. They say it takes a village, and my babies will definitely have a village full of love and support. Thank you and bless you to everyone who left comments supporting me. I'm grateful for all of them. I'm glad I could give you a very speedy and happy update.
Thank you, this is so good to know that there are good people out there and her brother, husband, and mother in law was ready to help as well as the people at the church. I was kind of shocked that there was so many at the church that would help due to the fact her husband, husbands mom and her own mom seemed to be so reigious in their thinking that her church friends might be that way too so it makes me feel like her future might be a positive one with having such a loving support system around her.
This update made me so happy. The triplets are going to have such a loving home and be close to their cousin and uncles. It’s also great to hear the church is not one of those places who defend men like OP’s now ex husband. Oftentimes I hear stories of churches being misogynistic towards women and turn a blind eye to abuse, so it’s good to know she has a congregation that will be there for her. I’m not religious anymore but it’s great when someone is with the right people when they are religious.
Here is the weird thing about men who are obsessed with having a son. Due to mitochondrial inheritance and the small size of the y chromosome, a man is more closely related to his daughters than to his sons. The only rationale that explains this guys belief is misogyny.
She wouldn't be divorcing him because he wants a son. She'd be divorcing him because he's crazy. Who reacts like that to finding out he's going to have daughters??? The daughters don't deserve to grow up in a household like that. It wouldn't surprise at all of the husband turns abusive. If he so easily reacts that badly just at having daughters, I don't know how bad it'll be with something more serious.
It could have been that if he had one boy, he could still had the son he lost. BUTTTT no the guy is a sexist and narcacist. The in-laws should have send him to therapy. Grief is a strong emotion that destroys any logic you have and enhances any want you have to an extreme. The father is NOT right in the head and could have had the benefit of the doubt... but in the end.. NOPE he is sticking with his guns and shows it ain't grief anymore, but maliciousness and hate. No amount of therapy can fix that guy and considering OP has to raise 3 kids... She doesn't have time to deal with a 4th. Divorce him.@@dudeorduuude5211
It made me so sad they downplayed that it’s just because “he wants a son” Lets not forget he was screaming slamming on the table and stuff, girl as SOON as he became violent that’s when you need to leave immediately bc THOSE are his true colors
My dad was expected to react that way bc of some titles he can't pass down to a girl. My mom just shrugged and pointed out that me being a girl is his fault and he knows it.
@@iridescentsolaceThis. Slamming the table so hard he damaged it? That’s violence. And he did it in front of all their friends and family. If he can justify acting that way in front of so many people over such a minor disappointment, I’d be worried what behavior he’d be able to justify to himself if he suffered real disappointment or were seriously angry. He’s also emotionally abusing his wife, and promising to emotionally abuse their daughters. For her MIL and mother to justify all of that as “he’s just disappointed” and “it’s natural for a man to want a boy” is disgusting.
Welcome to human history, where sexism is the name of the game for thousands of years and sons were dubbed paramount while daughters got sold off in political marriages!
It's pretty common, more than you think. It's the reason my father left. My brother was the firstborn, but at 3 they realized he had autism, so my father demanded another son. I (a female) wad born, so out the door he went. Haven't heard from him since.
Wow... what a deadbeat... my parents had three girls (me being the oldest and one of them currently being genderfluid) and they would never dream of abandoning us due to our gender. Even in 2019 when my sibling transitioned socially and we accepted them with opened arms.
There’s a shift happening right now that younger women don’t fully understand. Most women in 1st world countries have had this level of equality & all their choices because of centuries of women fighting for it. It was only a little over 50 years ago when American women couldn’t get their own credit card, buy their own homes, own land, cars, etc.. (not the 1%, they’ve always had freedom). It shouldn’t be baffling that a religious American man doesn’t want daughters. If she stays with him he’ll probably kill her & the babies. Statistically speaking, she’s a dead woman walking.
Yeah…this is a trend. In history, due to systemic sexism, sons were seen as paramount while daughters were usually political bargaining chips at most, strategic marriage and all.
@@brookew2403My grandma did this. She only wanted to spend time with my cousin and me, not with our brothers or our boy cousins. She also only bought presents for us, not our brothers, for Christmas. I can remember noticing this and it made me not want to spend time with her or get any gifts from her. (Oddly, it made my cousin want to go see her more and be closer to her. She said it made sense for a grandma to only spend time with her granddaughters.) Now my grandma is in her 80s and I have almost no relationship with her. She always preferred her one daughter over her 4 sons, too, and now she doesn’t have much of a relationship with any of her sons. None of them ever want to spend much time with her or their sister.
Read the update of the first story and it's full of good news. OPs brother and BIL took her in and are happily supporting her and her church is backing her. Some of her church friends are even doing a bakesale to raise money for OP and the babies. They cut off the mother and when the husband called OP, her BIL stepped in, told him to stop and offered to pay for therapy for the pain of the loss of the son. Life is looking good and stable for OP and the babies. What a happy ending to such a tragic beginning.
OP's brother, BIL, and even the people at her church are better men (and women) then her ex-husband. OP has an entire wolf pack on her side. I hope that OP's ex-husband has to pay child support for his daughters.
I just held a German wedding half a year ago and had African friends coming. I explained to them that I personally didn't care, but that wearing white is considered rude since that colour is reserved for the bride (me in that case). They came in wonderful lilac and light blue dresses and got many compliments. But still they didn't outshine me, that is ridiculous. In Germany we say it is impossible to outshine the bride 😂
Nevermind the fact that it’s the male who determines the sex of the kids, but telling your still grieving wife who considered ending it all that she was the reason their first child was stillborn and that she owes it to you to give you at least one boy is beyond horrific.
Thankfully, tere is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
As a german so far i know German weeding: Do not wear the color of the bride. So mostly white or whatever color the bride chooses. A friend of mine got married in red, so no red. Apart from that, there are no special rules. Everyone wears something nice.
I've usually received invitations stating "formal" attire or some such, so there's a word you can google and look at pictures. The problem in this case is that "dress to impress" is a shit guideline and if the MOB had said "formal wear, floor length" there probably wouldn't have been an issue. It's as if she wanted OP to fail giving her no directions at all to work with...
There is an update to the triplets story. OP is leaving her husband and moved in with her brother and his husband. The brother and husband are going to support and take care of OP and her daughters until the kids are old enough that OP can seek employment and hopefully get a place of her own.
I swear everytime Rslash says "OKAY! THEN YOU DO IT" is probably the most funny and refreshing thing ever. Since lots of people will say 'well actually it's legally correct but not morally correct' and I'm happy that SOMEONE FINALLY calls these people out.
Thankfully, tere is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
@@TheMadagascarqueenThank God. Screw that husband, and screw the Moms. “Oh, but at least he said he wouldn’t mistreat them.” Yeah, as if that makes everything better. What a group of despicable people.
Story 3: German here. OP did nothing wrong. It was on the mother of the bride to explain properly what was expected of OP, and when she failed to do that she turned to racism to cover for it. What a despicable hag.
The first story: the mother and MIL saying you shouldn’t divorce him just because he wants a boy, that’s not why you want to leave him. You are leaving him because he said point blank he plans on being a shitty father to their kids, and he screamed and verbally attacked his wife for a stillbirth of their child. Does he genuinely think the OP purposely killed their son so that they could only have girls?
I’m going to go out on a limb and say he probably does think that and probably thinks OP planned to have 3 baby girls just cause he has no brain cells much less a brain in his head
Thankfully, there is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
Those in-laws are crazy. How are you gonna look at a parent and say that their partner promising to emotionally abuse their children for their entire life isn't grounds for divorce??
@@ДмитрийГусарев-ж8ъ That the point. Its not about begin good or bad. People will still do it cuz its "how should be and always will be" Which is dumb. And that the reason I hate religious and cultures.
There's a bigger picture in the first story that i'd like to add. And that's the husband's obvious belief in gender roles. The fact that he is totally convinced that he won't be able to raise them the way he wants because of the gender is very telling! My mom was part of a family with 4 girls and one guy. That one guy was always excused from housework and it drove my mom crazy. Now, here I am, a guy raised to always help around the house and look at me! Not dead!
Thankfully, there is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
My parents had one shot at having a kid, which was me. My dad did all the typing “father-son” things with me, his daughter. OP’s husband is awful this is divorce worthy.
I'm my dad's third daughter. I'm also the one he took hunting and fishing and how to change my brakes. My MIL openly stated she didnt tech my husband how to cook because "that's not the mom's job, that's the women in his life's job." I💩 you not.
@@eleanorgill4455I was my dad's first and only daughter, and he also took me fishing, did woodworks with me, gardening, bird breeding, all of his hobbies. He was a decent dad before he died. Then when he did I came out as trans anyway so guess I'm his son lmao
For the final story, OP was not only misinformed, but actively told "dress to impress" and nothing else. Wearing what she wore was inevitable and the bride and her mother should feel absolutely stupid because of it.
I don’t know man. If you’re going to a wedding from a culture you yourself state you’ve never been to a wedding for, would you not do a little bit of research? I agree that the bride and her mom were dumb for not being more clear about the dress code but how hard is it to Google that wedding culture for 5 minutes?
@@bridi0821why would she expect the MOB to be lying? She was told the dress code: be impressive. She wore her best. Her best was apparently 7000 X better than anyone else’s because, idk, they can’t dress? Everyone else wore gray? How is this her fault? Sounds like some BS to me, putting in hidden traps for OP to fall into. Definitely racism at work as well.
@@aduckofsomesort I’m not saying the mother of the bride isn’t in the wrong. She is for being that vague. But I feel like if you’ve been invited to a wedding from a culture you have never been to before, you should at least do a 5 minute Google search about that wedding culture.
@@linpittsburgh2375 but it’s not lying. It’s a difference in culture. Dressing to impress for most European weddings is completely different when you dress to impress for an Asian wedding and apparently an African wedding as well. It just seems like this situation would have been avoided if the mother of the bride was more clear and/or if OP looked into the culture of the wedding she went to before going. It’s an ESH situation IMO.
“It’s only natural for men to want boys!” My dad didn’t care that I was born a girl, and he outright told my mom that if they were able to, he would want 7 girls because he loved raising me. The fact that this piece of shit is blaming his traumatized wife for the stillbirth of the son and that he wants nothing to do with his daughters is absolutely disgusting. He isn’t a man and he clearly showed he’s not ever gonna be a real father.
The sad thing is that most men who are that obsessed with it, want boys because they are misogynistic assholes who want what they consider "the better gender", rude, disgusting and sad.
My dad is a shitty person but he's never cared that I was born female, he never once treated me differently for that. If anything, I was closer to him then my mom since my mom didn't know how to raise a girl. My dad taught me video games and all that neat stuff, he'd wear jewelry I made him and still does, he even let me paint his toes before lol.
Of course we want boys because we're boys and we want our son to do things with us. That being said I have 3 girls and one son and I feel no differently on that basis alone. I love them all. Im close with my son who engages in alot of my hobbies, he's literally me, but Im close with my daughters on different things, things that Ive come to enjoy because of them.
The third story is just WOW. The audacity. Like, she specifically ASKED the MoB what she should wear, and was specifically TOLD to "dress to IMPRESS". And now she's somehow in the wrong because she did exactly what she was told to do? Yeah, sure.
‘Dress to impress’ means you go all out. Her colleague should have been much more specific, knowing she was from a different culture. I know that even fancy German clothing is very neutral and understated, not bright and big and bold, but SHE might not have known that! I’m sure she stood out tremendously, and that may have been embarrassing for her. It’s the role of the host to make their guests comfortable, so either guide her to what you’re expecting, or celebrate her fabulous outfit. She wore it to honour the bride, not to upstage her. Her intent was nothing but good, so be gracious about it!
@@karenneill9109 "Dress to impress" means wear what you would to a job interview. It is reasonable to expect someone who knows your culture to just wear a basic suit/dress if you tell them that. The OP obviously didn't and it's weird that everyone decided to throw a baby tantrum instead of talking to them like an adult.
@@christopherjones8448 Nope, what you describe would be 'business formal'. Dress to Impress is go all out to show-off. Now words may have been lost translation somewhere, but the person sending the invitation should have been clearer.
Last story: it doesn't matter if you are missing something, because the OP woukd have also missed that. Problem is, she specifically asked about anything she might miss. And she wasn't told this information. If the mother doesn't inform the OP correctly, that is on the mother, not OP.
But it does matter. Because r/slash isn’t living in Germany however OP is. If you move to a foreign country it is on you to do the necessary research to fit in. Let’s not pretend that a Google search on what to wear or going to a clothing store and asking the associates is all that hard. Also let’s not blame people for “not informing” when the mother most likely did not even think she had to mention that because it is common sense that you at least try to fit in. Now I do agree that it was poorly handled, she could have simply informed OP to change once they saw her. But let’s not blame other people for our mistakes
@@inud9823 No, it was the mistake of the mother, because the OP specifically asked for information and was told "Dress to impress". Not only was she not informed, she was misinformed. OP's research was asking locals, which is usually much better than googling, especially because it would inform OP specifically what this specific group would want, something a google search wouldn't be able to tell you (as google can tell you that it is okay, but maybe the group wouldn't find it okay). Saying that OP had to google the information is basically saying to not trust locals about their own customs.
I’m grateful for those moments because I can live my emotions through him. Sounds weird, but I’m in a place in my life where I can’t show myself freely to basically anyone. So, thanks rSlash, please keep including your honest reactions in your videos.
When I read through the first story on Reddit, and op's husband blamed her for their stillborn son, my jaw hit the floor. That may be the most callous, disrespectful, insulting, and cruel thing I have ever seen. Not only should op divorce her husband, but she should cut off all contact between him and her daughters. That man doesn't deserve her or her babies.
I desperately hope op of that one has someone who can help and support her through the separation and getting away from him, because it honestly feels like she may not be safe as long as he's around
@@angstyuchiha Thankfully, OP has an unbelievably incredible brother and BIL. The update is just wonderful: I didn't expect to have an update so soon, but after reading everyone's comments I decided to take action immediately and went to my brother's house. We talked for hours through the night and came up with a plan. I am going to divorce my husband. He's shown the kind of man he is and I don't want to live in or raise daughters in that kind of environment. I'm going to move in with my brother and BIL during all this. He and his husband have a nice, large house where I can have my own room and a nursery for the triplets. I originally worried that perhaps myself and three babies would be overwhelming or a burden to him and my BIL but they assured me they would love to have us here. I knew everything would be okay when my brother even offered to have a baby monitor put in their bedroom so he could help if more than one of the triplets woke up during the night. My BIL has a nice, high paying job and my brother works from home, so I will have a stable environment and my brother will help with his nieces. My own niece is excited for us to live with her. The current plan is I will live with my brother and BIL for a while and once my babies are old enough where I feel comfortable putting them in daycare, which my BIL has offered to pay for, then I can try to find a job of my own where I can save up money and eventually move into a nice place of my own with my daughters. I'm so thankful for my brother and BIL, they truly feel like angels. My brother and I are also going to go no contact with my mother. My brother and I discussed her behavior with us growing up, how she treated him when he came out and also got married, and how she's treated me these past few days. We decided this was the best course of action as we've given her many chances in our lives to became more stable and kind but she's always refused them, and we want our daughters to grow up in with a loving family. When I knew my husband had left for church this morning my brother, BIL, and I went to my house and got all my important things such as documents, clothes, and things that are special to me as well as all the baby things. My BIL's mother watched my niece while we did all this. She's a kind woman and has offered to be a grandmother to my own babies, which I happily accepted. I will admit that I cried, I've cried a lot lately, but mostly happy tears. Because my brother and I didn't go to church my ladies bible study group texted me and asked if we were alright and if we needed anything. I texted them back and told them the truth and what happened, and they were all horrified. They told me they support me and are proud of me for taking action, and are now even planning a bake sale at the church to help raise money for me and my babies. Also apparently when my husband went out to lunch after church with his men's bible group, one of the other members is husbands to one of my friends in my bible group and when he found out what happened he yelled at my husband so much that he cried. I got a little bit of joy out of hearing about that, not going to lie. My pastor even called me and asked if I'm okay, and he let me know that I'l always have people who support me at my church, which I'm very grateful for. After my husband came home from church and saw that most of my stuff was gone he blew up my phone, but my BIL called him for me and said that he would pay for my husband to get therapy for his grief over our son and also told him to leave me alone. My husband has not tried to contact me since, and he has yet to give my BIL an answer for his therapy offer. All in all I'm so grateful for my brother and BIL, I wouldn't be able to do any of this without them. I'm hopeful for the future and while this isn't the kind of future I imagined myself or my babies this is definitely the best one I can currently give them. They say it takes a village, and my babies will definitely have a village full of love and support. Thank you and bless you to everyone who left comments supporting me. I'm grateful for all of them. I'm glad I could give you a very speedy and happy update.
@@angstyuchihaher brother lets her move in and pay for her and the babies until they're old enough for her to work. There's like 3 updates to the story
Thankfully, there is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
Story about a man being a bad dad makes rSlash get super angry. As he should. For the second story: rSlash getting angry of seeing hypocrites is getting more intense as it goes on.
UPDATE: AITA For Wanting To Divorce My Husband For Wanting A Son? I didn't expect to have an update so soon, but after reading everyone's comments I decided to take action immediately and went to my brother's house. We talked for hours through the night and came up with a plan. I am going to divorce my husband. He's shown the kind of man he is and I don't want to live in or raise daughters in that kind of environment. I'm going to move in with my brother and BIL during all this. He and his husband have a nice, large house where I can have my own room and a nursery for the triplets. I originally worried that perhaps myself and three babies would be overwhelming or a burden to him and my BIL but they assured me they would love to have us here. I knew everything would be okay when my brother even offered to have a baby monitor put in their bedroom so he could help if more than one of the triplets woke up during the night. My BIL has a nice, high paying job and my brother works from home, so I will have a stable environment and my brother will help with his nieces. My own niece is excited for us to live with her. The current plan is I will live with my brother and BIL for a while and once my babies are old enough where I feel comfortable putting them in daycare, which my BIL has offered to pay for, then I can try to find a job of my own where I can save up money and eventually move into a nice place of my own with my daughters. I'm so thankful for my brother and BIL, they truly feel like angels. My brother and I are also going to go no contact with my mother. My brother and I discussed her behavior with us growing up, how she treated him when he came out and also got married, and how she's treated me these past few days. We decided this was the best course of action as we've given her many chances in our lives to became more stable and kind but she's always refused them, and we want our daughters to grow up in with a loving family. When I knew my husband had left for church this morning my brother, BIL, and I went to my house and got all my important things such as documents, clothes, and things that are special to me as well as all the baby things. My BIL's mother watched my niece while we did all this. She's a kind woman and has offered to be a grandmother to my own babies, which I happily accepted. I will admit that I cried, I've cried a lot lately, but mostly happy tears. Because my brother and I didn't go to church my ladies bible study group texted me and asked if we were alright and if we needed anything. I texted them back and told them the truth and what happened, and they were all horrified. They told me they support me and are proud of me for taking action, and are now even planning a bake sale at the church to help raise money for me and my babies. Also apparently when my husband went out to lunch after church with his men's bible group, one of the other members is husbands to one of my friends in my bible group and when he found out what happened he yelled at my husband so much that he cried. I got a little bit of joy out of hearing about that, not going to lie. My pastor even called me and asked if I'm okay, and he let me know that I'll always have people who support me at my church, which I'm very grateful for. After my husband came home from church and saw that most of my stuff was gone he blew up my phone, but my BIL called him for me and said that he would pay for my husband to get therapy for his grief over our son and also told him to leave me alone. My husband has not tried to contact me since, and he has yet to give my BIL an answer for his therapy offer. All in all I'm so grateful for my brother and BIL, I wouldn't be able to do any of this without them. I'm hopeful for the future and while this isn't the kind of future I imagined myself or my babies this is definitely the best one I can currently give them. They say it takes a village, and my babies will definitely have a village full of love and support. Thank you and bless you to everyone who left comments supporting me. I'm grateful for all of them. I'm glad I could give you a very speedy and happy update.
Dabney mentioning his daughter is two and a half just made it hit me how long I've been listening to his videos.. I remember when he first became a dad, I remember when he posted the first puppy bloopers with Yugo.. I've been here for like four years. Every day for four years 😭 God damn.
Nigerian here. Every party, let alone wedding, is a fashion show. Almost everyone wears bespoke clothes. They buy the materials and get them to a tailor who often sews them to a unique design. It's a sign of respect that you dress up for someone's event. You put an effort into celebrating with them in every way possible. Even if you expect someone to do as Romans do in Rome, if you don't tell them what Romans do, that's on you.
German here, this was an honest misunderstanding, but the MIL is acting out and the coworker who made the comment about manners is either xenophobic or racist. Unless there is a dress-up dresscode you don't go over the top at weddings here. You do dress nicely and formal, but not fashion show level at all. And people who grew up here no matter the skin color dress like the rest, so the MIL probably assumed she knew what was the norm. It's not OPs fault, she asked, it was an honest mistake.
German here - never even heard about someone get angry about people wearing whatever to a wedding that's not either totally inappropriate (like of course don't show up in dirty yoga pants, or like a bikini or something silly) that obviously doesn't fit the occasion or b) is a wedding dress. That is the only rule I'm aware of. Also that is totally on the mother in law. If you want people to show up in usual European cocktail/evening gown attire, you HAVE to tell them the dress code is "Abendgarderobe" or something. That's not the same as "dress to impress". Feels like the coworker set a trap for OP. Also how weird is it, that the MIL, not even the BRIDE (!!) invites random coworkers to a wedding that's not even hers? No shame on OP, but the MIL is super weird. Usually the only one who invites people are the bride and groom.
@@TemariNaraannaschatz nah, tbh i don't feel like that's a misunderstanding on the MILs part. If the dress codes was like formal gowns and stuff, she should've told OP the dress code is "formal" oder "Abendgarderobe" or something like that. I don't feel thats the same. Dress to impress could've also have people show up in dirndl or similar, for example. Also why is the MIL inviting random people in the first place? That seems really weird to me. I never heard of someone inviting people who wasn't either the bride or the groom. Weird.
@@Scarlett.Granger Yeah "dress to impress" is definitly the wrong choice or words here. The invite could have been previously cleared wth the bride, so I wouldn't make a call here. Although I think it's weird. But it might just be a general +1 situation where ride and Groom gave people the option to bring someone along.
Her host/coworker is really to blame for all this. She put both her daughter and OP in bad situations. She should have known the curiosity with which a crowd of ethnic Germans would react to a stranger. And either prepared her daughter or not invited OP.
This was my sentiment as well. She did exactly as she was told. I bet she looked incredible, would've loved to have seen a picture. OP is not responsible for the bride & MOB clear jealousy & insecurities. Nor is she responsible for any of her colleagues racism. Idk how companies in Germany operate, but I'd have gone to HR or whatever their equivalency is
Wedding story: OP specifically asked about a dress code and she followed it to the best of her understanding. Also, she says that she deflected any praise towards the bride. OP didn't do anything wrong, that falls on the MOB for failing to properly answer OP's question, so MOB is the one who needs to apologize to everyone for the faux pas.
And honestly, from an American perspective (idk about German) the other guests are still more at fault than OP. If outshining the bride is a thing in Germany like it is in America, I'd imagine there's also an expectation of how other guests can contribute to that. If all anyone was going on about was how beautiful she looked and not paying enough attention to the bride, they were also contributing to the social faux pas. And it's worse because they know how you're supposed to behave. Ultimately, however, I agree that the mother of the bride is the worst here. I am going to choose to give the bride a slight pass because the mom seems like an instigator so who knows what she told her. If she chose to go around spreading gossip to the co-workers, I wouldn't put it past her to tell her daughter that she did give OP a dress code or something like that.
Honestly does sound like MoB did this on purpose to make OP look bad. If I invited a person from a country with very different wedding ceremonies, I would show them many examples of my culture's wedding traditions and guest wear as well as the bride's themes and pinterest boards, and then help them choose what they think would be appropriate. And if they wanted to wear their own culture's clothing, that'd be cool. I'd try and help discern if there is an issue but I think most people would find it cool. Honestly it sounds awesome. I'm having a fairly low-key woodland fairy themed wedding in the mountains next fall and if someone in traditional African wedding garb wishes to traipse through the forest with me and my white boho wedding look, I want like 4 million pictures to show my grandkids. It'd be amazing.
@@k.c.8662 Dude, first let me say that your grammar is amazing. While reading your comment, I looked for typical mistakes that people make (those who are native to the English language) and was surprised. Usually people who have good or great grammar learned English as a secondary language, sometimes making mistakes that give away that it's not their native language. At which point, I will provide them guidance on how to be better (because how else can they improve if no one gives them feedback, right?). That said, if there's anything like an HR department for the company OP is working in, then she should definitely go speak to them and tell them the situation. MOB is creating a hostile work environment, and with what are arguably lies to boot. At the very least, they can give MOB a warning to keep her negative gossip about coworkers to herself. Hopefully they would do more, such as investigating the matter some and trying to resolve the dispute (to some degree) rather than just tell her to put a cork in it. If that happens, then HR could tell MOB that since OP tried to do the right thing by asking about a dress code, but was told to "dress to impress," that OP didn't do anything wrong, that the miscommunication falls onto the person (MOB?) that failed to properly answer the question. I doubt any HR department would go that far officially, with a possible exception of sending the two to some sort of therapist (or someone else to sort it out with), but one can hope.
Yeah, I wouldn't assign to malice what could be adequately explained with incompetence. The incompetence being the mother not explaining what dress to impress means in that context. Also, as a German, when somebody told me to dress to impress, I'd expect the bride to wear an extremely eye catching dress that cannot be outshined. So, I fully attribute this to failure to communicate, possibly due to second language barrier and not necessarily to racism.
Something similar happened to me where I was told to “dress nice” and I ended up feeling like I was too nice (the bride said it was fine and was casual abt it) but it’s just a miscommunication issue that the coworker is too proud to admit fault for
Blaming your wife for miscarriage is some of the most vilest and cruelest things you can do, after reading the update i'm so glad op has support from her brother, BIL and church group. When op said that her ex cried after one of the male members of the church group screamed at him i almost laughed because it shows how pathetic he is, NTA.
I sadly suffered a miscarriage a couple months ago (just a few weeks after my husband got deployed, great timing 🙃) and we were both SO heartbroken. We still struggle with it, and whenever I start down the self-blaming path, he IMMEDIATELY reassures me that it wasn’t my fault and there was literally nothing I could have done to prevent it. The husband in the first story is one of the worst types of people. He deserves to never see how wonderful those kids will be. Also, sometimes gender tests are wrong. I know a few people that were said to be the opposite gender they were born as - one even as of the morning of their birth.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Thank God you hubby's got your back Thankfully, there is an update to the first story. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
@@TheMadagascarqueen that’s such an uplifting and refreshing update to hear. I’m so glad OP has an amazing support system, and those babies are gonna be WELL taken care of!
"THEN YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU DOOOOOOO IT" is the funniest thing to come out of his mouth since he started using the Karen voice! My wife and I literally light up whenever he does that rant and I'm here for it!
Story 3: “So I have never been to a white wedding, how should I dress?” “To impress.” OP slays “HOW DARE YOU?!” Like, wtf did you expect lady? You sure you didn’t want to cause drama and to ruin OP’s reputation? EDIT: OP posted a picture and it’s a stunning dress you would see at a ‘black tie event’. I would be 100% fine with OP at my wedding, but some people are so uptight about dress code.
From European perspective in the last story. Yes, it is the a-hole 2.5/5. It's extremely disrespectful to not do even bare minimum of research and ignore customs of Germans. And rslash when he said European/amercian dress sounded ignorant.
@@PanzerFaust1754Yeah, no. 1: Even in Europe, what to expect at a wedding varies by country and individual. Case in point, I would be fine with that dress at my wedding while my sister would have acted closer to the bride in this story. 2: If you were invited by the mother of the bride, that should be enough to tell you what to expect at that specific wedding. It’s better to hear directly from the bride, but hard to say if the mother had permission to invite OP or not and is a point against OP for not trying to reach out to the bride first. 3: If you give someone vague instructions for an event and the results make you unhappy. Talk like a damn adult about the issue quietly at said event or afterwards instead of ridicule the person to all your coworkers.
@@PanzerFaust1754 You have been all over these comments defending OP and it really reads as you just defending the racist behaviors of her co-workers. OP asked what to wear, was given an answer, and was apparently just too good at doing what she was instructed to do. Kick sand dude.
@droopysealion5887 Why is it racist? This is cultural friction. She's an a-hole for her answer, but you also research the culture you are in. I would not wear European garb by default to another cultures wedding. I would also explain what I am thinking of wearing. Mother is still the bigger a-hole, but let's not lose what respect means.
@@danielmorton9956Without specific quotes, it is hard to know if the conversation is racially coded like OP said or just cultural friction like you suggest. ”This isn’t Africa.” “People here have manners.” Really can be taken either way, but with how the mother of the bride is behaving, all I’m hearing is the ‘Savages’ song from Pocahontas.
It’s so infuriating that they’re reducing the divorce to being “just because he wants a son”. As if that’s the problem, not the way he verbally abused OP, not the way he straight up said he didn’t want a relationship with his children if they aren’t sons, not the fact that he called his wife a murderer essentially. This has nothing to do with wanting sons and everything to do with how awful he acted when he didn’t get one
@@streamerssaymyname My thoughts exactly. My father was like that. OP's daughters deserve better because you know that behavior of his won't stop after they're born.
There was an update to the first story. She left when he went to church, went to live with her brother and his husband and they helped get her on her feet. She told her church group who chewed him out and one husband of her friend from church shouted at him so much it made him cry.
Nope, as soon as he blamed her for the stillbirth that's the end; adding the fact that he said he will never love his daughters and the OP needs to leave. This is abuse.
Thankfully, tere is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
German here. OP in that last story is definitely NTA. Yes, outshining the bride is something you shouldn't do, same as in the US, but if the only information she had to go off of was "dress to impress" then she did everything she was told to do. The proper phrasing there should have been "dress nicely, but don't overdo it. And don't wear white". Bug it wasn't so the faux-pas is entirely on the coworker (bride's mom).
From European perspective in the last story. Yes, it is the a-hole 2.5/5. It's extremely disrespectful to not do even bare minimum of research and ignore customs of Germans. And rslash when he said European/amercian dress sounded ignorant.
@@PanzerFaust1754 A brief google search doesn't add those specific dress codes to German or European customs. In fact the first one that came up for me was that the bride is kidnapped the day before. Plus, she was told to dress her best. OP is definitely not at fault here. (Also European perspective)
4:52 my ex of 3 years did something really similar. He blamed ME for getting pregnant. Dude, it takes two people to make a baby. Then I miscarried and he blamed me again for “purposefully” miscarrying around 4-20 “because I know 4-20 is like his birthday”. We were 25, not 15. We were going to go to a weed convention that you couldn’t buy weed at. It literally wasn’t important at all. He called a friend to go with him and the friend ended up staying with me while he went alone. He was the definition of making weed his whole personality but doesn’t do anything science or growing related. He just smokes. That’s his whole personality 6 years later as well.
The still birth, then getting pregnant with triplets part of that story happened to a friend of mine. It’s crazy hearing it happened to someone else. The beautiful part of her story is, her doctor told her that her body likely wouldn’t have been able to handle triplets as a first pregnancy. So it was like the angel baby was making way for the triplets. For lack of a better way to explain it.
Hope your friend is doing better. Thankfully, there is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
German here. Regarding the last story, that's just good old fashioned, disgusting racism. Yeah, we do have some traditions when it comes to weddings, some are local, some weird, some wholesome. But being an a$$ to someone who is following the dress code YOU provided is definitely not one of them. Nowhere in Germany.
Yeah, it almost read as jealousy. Sounds like OP turned up looking amazing and people were drawn to her. That might happen at any event. What would the excuse have been if OP turned up in western dress and still attracted attention? MOB and the bride need to get over themselves.
From European perspective in the last story. Yes, it is the a-hole 2.5/5. It's extremely disrespectful to not do even bare minimum of research and ignore customs of Germans. And rslash when he said European/amercian dress sounded ignorant.
@@PanzerFaust1754 Ok so let me ask this question, if you are asking someone of the culture in which you are attending an event, what to wear or bring, is that not part of the research? If I was INVITED to an event that I knew very little about, I would ask questions to the person who invited me or is hosting. That is what Op did. A wedding is a specific event that can have specific rules that may not be universal so asking the question was appropriate. The MOB only told Op to "dress to impress". So Op did.
@@Jenova180 EXACTLY!!! Especially since different areas of a country can have different rules and expectations. NiceDude1617 is SO NOT a nice dude - as usual when some dude claims to be nice
Having kids is like the ultimate 50-50 of what you’re gonna get. I’d hope that sorry ass dude has only daughters for the rest of his life, but I don’t wanna put that kinda relationship on anyone.
No because even Henry never told Katherine or Anne that they killed his sons (Katherine had at least 3 boys, only one making it to full term amd dying at 2 months old). While he did blame them to a degree Henry was NEVER cruel enough to say that out loud to anyone, especially not his wives.
There is research from the 1940’s about a medical condition called McLeod’s Syndrome. First pregnancies more often go well especially for female children. Subsequent pregnancies end in miscarriages, especially for male children. This condition is based off of rH factors and carried down the female line. Males who have it have other symptoms later in life that include those similar to syphilis, advanced diabetes and mental disorders. Henry VIII showed all the symptoms of an advanced case, but without DNA proof, it cannot be proven.
@@callanightshade8079 He divorced two wives, and beheaded two others, on trumped up charges, and cheated on every wife, and you say he was not cruel? I think you need to read the real history.
Sitting at my kitchen table putting on makeup and absolutely screaming at the first story! RSLASH you and I were screaming together! How absolutely vile her husband is to say she killed the first one! Girl get away from him NOW!!!! This is just the first sign of a weak, pathetic man who is going to abuse her and the girls. RUN!!!!!
Someone posted an update in the comments that she's moved in with her brother, the church is behind her and someone in the men's Bible study made her husband cry.
Earlier, I would have pointed out that OP is caught between a rock and a hard place and that divorcing her husband wouldn’t be so simple. Thankfully, an update to her story no longer makes that the case. Her brother and his husband offered to let her and her daughters stay with them until OP can get a place of her own. They’ve all agreed to go NC with their mom and BIL’s mom is happy to help with her grand nieces. Also, OP’s Bible study group is planning a bake sale to raise money for her while her pastor has promised to give whatever help he can. Her soon-to-be ex-husband’s Bible study group also chewed him out for his behavior.
As someone who went to a German wedding I can confirm that it’s just a silly time. Everyone was trying to out do everyone else, had some great drinks with the bois, played a game where you had to raise your shoes, and learned how to make loud ringing noises with a glass from the groom’s grandma. Would do again.
I've been a plenty German weddings and that is not the norm (dress wise). Basic formal wear is the norm unless told otherwise. The shoe thing however is a thing and fun.
As a European I remember the bewilderment I felt when I heard about gender reveals because I genuinely still can’t understand why people care so much. I’m used to learning about it in a “oh you’re pregnant? Congrats what are you having” “oh a girl” “cool” and that’s it, the most uncommon thing is when someone doesn’t want to know till birth. I think it’s incredibly toxic to be honest since I can’t fathom why so much importance is put on someone’s gender in America as if it says anything about who they’ll be as a person. It’s kind of disgusting seeing how often the parent’s reaction is straight up insane to be honest.
I think the initial point of the gender reveal was that the parents who started it had a series of miscarriages and never got to that point, so it became a celebration that this one was going well. Love the fun get together to celebrate a milestone in the pregnancy, but some things have gone too far. One couple got into serious legal trouble after starting a forest fire. Keep it tame people. I would just have whoever has the info order the personalized pink and/or blue baby teddy bears from Build a Bear.
The first person who did it as a fun little surprise for herself and her family. Everyone else has taken it too far. But the whole “I MUST HAVE A SON!” Thing has existed before my own great grandfather was born
Actually the first gender reveal was done by the US Marine Corps for a horse by the name of Sgt. Reckless... so we have gender reveals because a horse from Korea was a war hero and got knocked up for publicity
It's *definitely* toxic. And as an American, most of the people I know react to hearing someone is pregnant the same way you described. Some people are just insane.
I’m the first person on my moms side to be born outside of England so I feel like I can really answer this. You gotta think of the US as the European Union rather than one country bc of how big it is. There’s some parts of the US that are really conservative (think more like Bulgaria) where someone sex plays a much larger role in what’s expected of them than more liberal areas (think Western Europe) and as different ideas become transnational in Europe they chance and are influenced by regional aspects. Same with the gender reveal party. There’s some evidence that the origins of the gender reveal party come from parents of a trans person who threw the gender reveal party for their 12 year old as a “we got it wrong the first time” kind of joke and it spiraled. Also as the result of just how bloody big the US is, there’s a lot of untamed woods and massive national parks (the biggest US national park is bigger than 20 European countries, with Croatia being the closest country in size and there are several states with a population density of under 8 people per square km) so people have ability to do stuff without being stopped at a very different level than in Europe. Overall, however, gender reveal parties aren’t super common and as some people have said it’s when you’ve have multiple miscarriages you learn to enjoy every second of the pregnancy bc it literally could end tomorrow. The two most common situations in the US are either baby’s name and sometimes gender is announced around the baby shower, so with roughly 2-3 months left in the pregnancy. Or a lot of people will wait until after the baby is born to announce anything beyond the fact that they are pregnant.
Know what I love about RSlash? His hilarious titrates! The way he starts ranting and raving is great! Especially when he said that O.P’s ex-husband to yell at ballsack what genius! 😂😂 6:25 yes there was! That was king Henry the 8th.
It's disgusting that human beings can be so cold. My wife and I recently lost identical twin boys at 22 weeks. And that kind of pain is immeasurable. I can't imagine how OP felt when her husband freaked out. Wishing the best for OP
so sorry for the loss of your twins. My condolences to you and your wife. Thankfully, tere is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
Blaming a mother for a still birth is a dumb and evil thing to do. Depending on what caused the still birth to happen the "issue" could have easily been from OP's husband's sperm and NOT from any biological problem with OP. Sadly this happened to someone I know and he had to go through a couple of years of treatment to get his "sperm healthy" (Edit: He's got three kids now so the treatment worked 👍 )
The Moment Someone says something like he did. IN FRONT OF THE FAMILY. I don’t care if he’s still grieving the first child, there is NO excuse for this behavior. If he’ll do this in public, IMAGINE what he’ll do in private. To think OP and those three kids would be so much better off without someone who’ll only begrudgingly raise those kids while still blaming OP is just… wow
Thankfully, tere is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
Update to the first Story: UPDATE: AITA For Wanting To Divorce My Husband For Wanting A Son? I didn't expect to have an update so soon, but after reading everyone's comments I decided to take action immediately and went to my brother's house. We talked for hours through the night and came up with a plan. I am going to divorce my husband. He's shown the kind of man he is and I don't want to live in or raise daughters in that kind of environment. I'm going to move in with my brother and BIL during all this. He and his husband have a nice, large house where I can have my own room and a nursery for the triplets. I originally worried that perhaps myself and three babies would be overwhelming or a burden to him and my BIL but they assured me they would love to have us here. I knew everything would be okay when my brother even offered to have a baby monitor put in their bedroom so he could help if more than one of the triplets woke up during the night. My BIL has a nice, high paying job and my brother works from home, so I will have a stable environment and my brother will help with his nieces. My own niece is excited for us to live with her. The current plan is I will live with my brother and BIL for a while and once my babies are old enough where I feel comfortable putting them in daycare, which my BIL has offered to pay for, then I can try to find a job of my own where I can save up money and eventually move into a nice place of my own with my daughters. I'm so thankful for my brother and BIL, they truly feel like angels. My brother and I are also going to go no contact with my mother. My brother and I discussed her behavior with us growing up, how she treated him when he came out and also got married, and how she's treated me these past few days. We decided this was the best course of action as we've given her many chances in our lives to became more stable and kind but she's always refused them, and we want our daughters to grow up in with a loving family. When I knew my husband had left for church this morning my brother, BIL, and I went to my house and got all my important things such as documents, clothes, and things that are special to me as well as all the baby things. My BIL's mother watched my niece while we did all this. She's a kind woman and has offered to be a grandmother to my own babies, which I happily accepted. I will admit that I cried, I've cried a lot lately, but mostly happy tears. Because my brother and I didn't go to church my ladies bible study group texted me and asked if we were alright and if we needed anything. I texted them back and told them the truth and what happened, and they were all horrified. They told me they support me and are proud of me for taking action, and are now even planning a bake sale at the church to help raise money for me and my babies. Also apparently when my husband went out to lunch after church with his men's bible group, one of the other members is husbands to one of my friends in my bible group and when he found out what happened he yelled at my husband so much that he cried. I got a little bit of joy out of hearing about that, not going to lie. My pastor even called me and asked if I'm okay, and he let me know that I'll always have people who support me at my church, which I'm very grateful for. After my husband came home from church and saw that most of my stuff was gone he blew up my phone, but my BIL called him for me and said that he would pay for my husband to get therapy for his grief over our son and also told him to leave me alone. My husband has not tried to contact me since, and he has yet to give my BIL an answer for his therapy offer. All in all I'm so grateful for my brother and BIL, I wouldn't be able to do any of this without them. I'm hopeful for the future and while this isn't the kind of future I imagined myself or my babies this is definitely the best one I can currently give them. They say it takes a village, and my babies will definitely have a village full of love and support. Thank you and bless you to everyone who left comments supporting me. I'm grateful for all of them. I'm glad I could give you a very speedy and happy update.
Last story: Given no one actually can tell you what specifically in your outfit was inappropriate, I'm guessing the only actual problem is that it was traditionally afiecan or because people thought it looked good. You're trying to understand the problem but you're so called friend isn't actually giving you an answer she didn't like that you had attention on you even though it's not your fault people gave you like what you were wearing. Tell this lady and the jerk that tried to imply you had no manners because you're from Africa to not talk to you because apparently in Germany manners mean try to talk people behind their back.
Yup it was 100% a race thing if she had worn a normal dress in the same color she probably wouldn’t of gotten as much attention but since she wore something from her homeland, it’s deemed as “exotic” so I got more attention.
My parents went to a wedding in India and wore traditional garb for India. However it was stated to them and then provided. The lady writing in the last story is 100% valid since expectations weren’t truly explained.
I'm from Germany and I knew right away that it was a faux-pas, but it wasn't intentional and she had asked, so if it's anyones fault it's the MIL. And to add: people no matter the skin color who grew up in Germany dress like every other German on weddings, so the MIL obviously didn't think of her differently in terms of culture, which is on her.
Honestly. I think it was 100% explained correctly. The issue was a cultural mistranlation. Our version of "dress to impress" for a wedding is definitely different than that for someone from asia or africa, but with both parties lacking the knowledge or expirience of the other group to know that the phrase represents different things for either culture, there's no way of knowing until its too late
4- NTA, I'm East African, and women’s wedding attire especially is extremely extravagant, but since everyone is wearing the latest and greatest, no one stands out except the bride who's wearing bridalwear!
There's an update to the first story. OP ends up moving in with her brother and brother-in-law. They're happy to have her as long as she's willing to stay. She plans on divorcing the husband and she has cut contact with her mother, proving why her brother cut contact with her from the start. OP is doing well and she's thankful for her loving brother and BIL for being there for her when she needed someone the most.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard Dabney yell so much in a video, but it’s more than warranted here. The husband in Story 1 can just burn on a pyre for all I care, and the constant hypocrisy from stories like Story 2 would drive anyone crazy.
@@Diamondr11Bluethe husband in that story doesn’t deserve to breath the same air as all of us. To blame another human being for something out of her control is cold. Rude. And just disgusting. And he threw a temper tantrum. He’s a grown man. And as stated before. It’s the sperm that determines gender it’s not her fault. He needs to punch his own nutsack. And to only want a son. Then adopt one. He’s a cruel human. I’d say a dog but that would insult dogs.
I've noticed in the last year Dabney has turned from a cordial, polite, happy go lucky guy into an aggressive, sarcastic, "mean" curmudgeon. I love it. What an incredible improvement. Absolutely hilarious. Keep up the good work, sir!
There’s an update for the first story. Op left her husband and is living with her brother and BIL. The brother and BIL have a big house and say OP can stay as long as they want and are going to help Op with childcare
Story 1: *I have no words except that the man deserves the full 5/5 jerk-score.* I think that RSlash sums it up *_SOOOOOOOO_* much better than I ever could! OP, I'm _soooooooooooooooo_ sorry that you're going through all of this. You genuinely do NOT deserve and you and your daughters *_ABSOLUTELY NEED_* *to get the heck out of there* Story 2: Again, RSlash pretty much sums it up perfectly, lol. Story 3: Why do I feel like OP was set up?...🤦🏿♀️ 0/5 jerk-score for OP. Edit: (Story 1) Seriously, though...I'm *_MAD!!!_* 😡😡😡😡😡
Thankfully, story 1 has an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
@@banj_yoyt Thankfully, tere is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
@@Shiverwar Thankfully, tere is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
it says to dress to impress (which is already the norm for every wedding to dress well) it not written outshine the bride, our African garment will 100% attract too much attention when the guest is probably mostly only euro decent German. you can impress without stealing the show of the bride and the groom IT THEIR DAY ...Sis could have done a quick google search if she was THAT worry. 🤷🏾♀
It has been so much fun watching/listening to Dabney go full unapologetically-scorched earth-straight for the jugular raging on bad parents ever since he and Nicole had Lily! It makes my heart warm when he rages at sh*tty parents like that. And when I read story #1 for real life, my phone was practically melting from the heat from the comments eviscerating OP's husband. OP's husband is an absolute psychopath.
“Don’t yell at your wife, yell at your nutsack!” Me: Woooo! Right on rslash! I love your rants! Anyone who’s ever taken HS Biology knows that _the sperm_ determines the gender, NOT the egg! You get one X chromosome from mom, and an X or a Y from dad.
As soon as i heard the part at the beginning I knew Rslash was going to destroy this guy in the commentary Absolutely one of my favorite parts of this channel
Thankfully, there is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
Story 1: Whoa, I get that he and OP had to deal with a miscarriage, but oh my god it sounds like he's still stuck in the past. He's so mad that the son he was about to get died by miscarriage that he went ballistic when all of the triplets are revealed to be daughters, blames OP, and told OP right in her face that he won't even be a truly loving parent to said daughters. Does he even love OP, or does he only care about having a son?
Stuck in the past? They literally had their baby die. People don’t get over that sort of loss quickly and most the time without needing mental health help. This bloke clearly needs help as his reaction to having 3 daughters is very obviously wrong.
@@Hikari-jz8yvThere is an update. Tldr she moves in with her brother and BIL, who offered to support her and the triplets. She also decided to divorce the asshole and also go no contact with her mom. Brother and BIL help her move out. Ladies Bible group at church plans fundraiser to help her with the triplets. Men's Bible study group finds out about asshole's reaction and one member blew up on his sorry ass, made him cry. Asshole tries to contact OP, brother and BIL step in so she doesn't have to talk to him, and if they weren't saints enough already, they offer to PAY for asshole to go to therapy. He has yet to accept or decline.
Oh no, he is an abuser. A lot of people only think of abuse as physical, and beating (like the mother and MIL in the story) and overlook mental and emotional abuse, which he already shows he was going to do. Simply by saying "I will feed them and put a roof over their heads, but I will not love them or have any relationship with them" is him admitting he will emotionally abuse them.
@@NPC_NEWS If you think stories about emotionally abusive insane people is relaxing as long as the people reading it don't have emotional reactions to it, there's about fifty thousand other Reddit-reading channels. Pick your subreddit, pick your narrator, and/or pick your robot. Listening to a reaction channel with a narrator that's been consistently emotional for five years, also consistent with the fact that's the style that made their channel famous when that consistent thing bugs you, is a curious behavior.
Story 1: We just gonna pretend that having no relationship with your kids isn't mistreating them? Every word of that story is effed, but this line floored me.
To a degree, I was "that guy" that wanted only boys. I was a very hard man when I got out of the army. You know the story, family name, lineage and all that stuff. Pointless in the end to my kids happiness i learned of course. I had my son, and he softened me a touch. When my daughter came, I melted. She has made this hard charging infantryman with a short fuse into a tea party complete with costumes! I was never as extreme as this dude. I'll just say, I would probably be in jail if my daughter didn't softened me up.
The king you mentioned is king Henry VIII of England. He didn't only get rid of his first two wives because they didn't give him a son but it was part of the reason. And only one of those first two was executed, for an unrelated reason. He also reigned in the early to mid 1500s.
Story 2: It's because of the extra rooms. That's why they want OP to keep the couple. Except, how will we know that they just won't shove all the responsibilities at OP? In the case that they're not even going to be responsible for the kid and treat OP like some sort of maid (in his own house btw), then they definitely gotta go. Concerned? You take them in then. What's your excuse, relatives? Don't want to deal with the child? Unless you physically can't house two more adults and a tiny baby, or you literally have no spare money to take care of the two, what's your excuse?
For anyone wondering about OP in the first story, they're going ahead with the divorce, are living with their brother and BIL, and have full support from their local church. They're safe and doing well, the brother/BIL are very supportive and have helped figure out a plan of action for the future, and the niece is apparently excited to have 3 new cousins.
Thankfully, there is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
So for the last story, I think there was a breakdown in communication. In most European weddings, not including the cultural nuances, they tend to be like American ones. Church wedding, white for the bride etc. But OP wasn't aware of anything about the wedding so asked. This is where I think the breakdown comes into play. It seems that the older woman made the assumption that OP knew to wear something not so, for lack of a better word, attractive at the wedding so as not to take attention from the couple. OP assumed that this meant it was going to be like an African wedding, a fashion show, and came up assuming this. So I don't think anyone is to blame except at the end when the older woman began to spread falsehoods and not ask why.
100% agreed. MOB either wanted OP to make a fool of herself or she really didn't understand that different cultures might have different customs... Additionally, I googled "african wedding" and looked at a few pictures and while the dresses are definitely gorgeous, many look like sth I'd expect people to wear at my (European) wedding, so for me it's a classic case of over-exaggeration. Either way, I think it's silly that so many people get offended about being upstaged at their own wedding - it's YOUR wedding, you're literally the center of attention?? At the same time, people won't focus on you 100% of the time for 8hs or how long your party goes so please let them converse with each other and don't throw a tantrum over other people dressing up and enjoying themselves! -.-
Also not on topic. He never blamed the wife for having girls. He blamed her for the death of their son. Which is worse. He's not stupid, just callous mean and manipulative
"you still have to give me a sone because you killed the first one" Instand deal braker for me and I hope this story ends in divorce woth her fighting for 100% custody. I know people scream for divorce a lot on these Reddit stories but this is one of the most clear-cut and dry cases I've ever heard. And I haven't even mentioned him breaking the table yet which I would be scared that would it be hurts me or the babies wtf?
If Dabney had 3 catchphrases, they'd be "never underestimate tree law", "never screw over the IT guy", and "if you think it's so important, then you do it".
God i miss tree law
I was about to comment the same thing and then I saw your comment. We really have learned the three important rules/lessons of this channel
Adding "YOU IDIOT" to the catchphrases
@@kranberry3318 Can't be helped. The reason it's always such a treat is because of how rare it is.
I remember back when he did his first episode of Tree Law and learned about it, it was great. I've heard him say of these over the past 4 to 5 years so many times and it's great lol, always so passionate every time he says it.
First story had an update:
I didn't expect to have an update so soon, but after reading everyone's comments I decided to take action immediately and went to my brother's house. We talked for hours through the night and came up with a plan.
I am going to divorce my husband. He's shown the kind of man he is and I don't want to live in or raise daughters in that kind of environment.
I'm going to move in with my brother and BIL during all this. He and his husband have a nice, large house where I can have my own room and a nursery for the triplets. I originally worried that perhaps myself and three babies would be overwhelming or a burden to him and my BIL but they assured me they would love to have us here. I knew everything would be okay when my brother even offered to have a baby monitor put in their bedroom so he could help if more than one of the triplets woke up during the night. My BIL has a nice, high paying job and my brother works from home, so I will have a stable environment and my brother will help with his nieces. My own niece is excited for us to live with her. The current plan is I will live with my brother and BIL for a while and once my babies are old enough where I feel comfortable putting them in daycare, which my BIL has offered to pay for, then I can try to find a job of my own where I can save up money and eventually move into a nice place of my own with my daughters. I'm so thankful for my brother and BIL, they truly feel like angels.
My brother and I are also going to go no contact with my mother. My brother and I discussed her behavior with us growing up, how she treated him when he came out and also got married, and how she's treated me these past few days. We decided this was the best course of action as we've given her many chances in our lives to became more stable and kind but she's always refused them, and we want our daughters to grow up in with a loving family.
When I knew my husband had left for church this morning my brother, BIL, and I went to my house and got all my important things such as documents, clothes, and things that are special to me as well as all the baby things. My BIL's mother watched my niece while we did all this. She's a kind woman and has offered to be a grandmother to my own babies, which I happily accepted. I will admit that I cried, I've cried a lot lately, but mostly happy tears.
Because my brother and I didn't go to church my ladies bible study group texted me and asked if we were alright and if we needed anything. I texted them back and told them the truth and what happened, and they were all horrified. They told me they support me and are proud of me for taking action, and are now even planning a bake sale at the church to help raise money for me and my babies. Also apparently when my husband went out to lunch after church with his men's bible group, one of the other members is husbands to one of my friends in my bible group and when he found out what happened he yelled at my husband so much that he cried. I got a little bit of joy out of hearing about that, not going to lie.
My pastor even called me and asked if I'm okay, and he let me know that I'll always have people who support me at my church, which I'm very grateful for.
After my husband came home from church and saw that most of my stuff was gone he blew up my phone, but my BIL called him for me and said that he would pay for my husband to get therapy for his grief over our son and also told him to leave me alone. My husband has not tried to contact me since, and he has yet to give my BIL an answer for his therapy offer.
All in all I'm so grateful for my brother and BIL, I wouldn't be able to do any of this without them. I'm hopeful for the future and while this isn't the kind of future I imagined myself or my babies this is definitely the best one I can currently give them. They say it takes a village, and my babies will definitely have a village full of love and support.
Thank you and bless you to everyone who left comments supporting me. I'm grateful for all of them. I'm glad I could give you a very speedy and happy update.
GOOD.
Thank you, this is so good to know that there are good people out there and her brother, husband, and mother in law was ready to help as well as the people at the church. I was kind of shocked that there was so many at the church that would help due to the fact her husband, husbands mom and her own mom seemed to be so reigious in their thinking that her church friends might be that way too so it makes me feel like her future might be a positive one with having such a loving support system around her.
Dang OP have a lot of support from her brother and his husband to the church that will help anyway they can. But seriously OP's husband need help
Thank god she left that sexist lozer she and her daughter's don't deserve that type of man in there lives
This update made me so happy. The triplets are going to have such a loving home and be close to their cousin and uncles. It’s also great to hear the church is not one of those places who defend men like OP’s now ex husband. Oftentimes I hear stories of churches being misogynistic towards women and turn a blind eye to abuse, so it’s good to know she has a congregation that will be there for her. I’m not religious anymore but it’s great when someone is with the right people when they are religious.
"Don't yell at the wife, yell at your nutsack!"
Love Rslash's rant. Both hilarious and very true
I almost did a spittake at that line. I should know not to eat or drink when Dabney is on a rampage. :D
Here is the weird thing about men who are obsessed with having a son. Due to mitochondrial inheritance and the small size of the y chromosome, a man is more closely related to his daughters than to his sons. The only rationale that explains this guys belief is misogyny.
I read this comment as soon as he said it 😂
I actually did 😅 and started chocking/laughing for a bit 😂
I was in a train full of people... let's say I got some stares 😂
The image of a man yelling angrily at his own nutsack for giving him daughters made me burst out laughing
"You worthless sack, how dare you give me daughters instead of a son! I need my balls to produce some balls!"
Every time the family chimes in I am just waiting for Slash to be like "THEN YOU DO IT!!" 😂 makes my day.
And boy did he come through this time, loud and clear!!
Everytime he yells it I clap like a delighted toddler!
And if RSlash doesn’t do it. THEN YOU DO IT! 😂
@@kranberry3318 The fact that he was probably still fuming over the first story helped a lot, I guess...
Every single time!!!
She wouldn't be divorcing him because he wants a son. She'd be divorcing him because he's crazy. Who reacts like that to finding out he's going to have daughters??? The daughters don't deserve to grow up in a household like that. It wouldn't surprise at all of the husband turns abusive. If he so easily reacts that badly just at having daughters, I don't know how bad it'll be with something more serious.
Someone reacts like that with extreme pent up grief and unrealistic expectations.
It could have been that if he had one boy, he could still had the son he lost. BUTTTT no the guy is a sexist and narcacist. The in-laws should have send him to therapy.
Grief is a strong emotion that destroys any logic you have and enhances any want you have to an extreme.
The father is NOT right in the head and could have had the benefit of the doubt... but in the end.. NOPE he is sticking with his guns and shows it ain't grief anymore, but maliciousness and hate. No amount of therapy can fix that guy and considering OP has to raise 3 kids... She doesn't have time to deal with a 4th. Divorce him.@@dudeorduuude5211
It made me so sad they downplayed that it’s just because “he wants a son”
Lets not forget he was screaming slamming on the table and stuff, girl as SOON as he became violent that’s when you need to leave immediately bc THOSE are his true colors
My dad was expected to react that way bc of some titles he can't pass down to a girl.
My mom just shrugged and pointed out that me being a girl is his fault and he knows it.
@@iridescentsolaceThis. Slamming the table so hard he damaged it? That’s violence.
And he did it in front of all their friends and family. If he can justify acting that way in front of so many people over such a minor disappointment, I’d be worried what behavior he’d be able to justify to himself if he suffered real disappointment or were seriously angry.
He’s also emotionally abusing his wife, and promising to emotionally abuse their daughters.
For her MIL and mother to justify all of that as “he’s just disappointed” and “it’s natural for a man to want a boy” is disgusting.
Blaming a woman for a still birth is just wow! It baffles me how a parent’s love can be conditional based on the gender of the child.
Welcome to human history, where sexism is the name of the game for thousands of years and sons were dubbed paramount while daughters got sold off in political marriages!
Not to mention the fact that it's the sperm that determines the sex of the baby.
It's pretty common, more than you think. It's the reason my father left. My brother was the firstborn, but at 3 they realized he had autism, so my father demanded another son. I (a female) wad born, so out the door he went. Haven't heard from him since.
Wow... what a deadbeat... my parents had three girls (me being the oldest and one of them currently being genderfluid) and they would never dream of abandoning us due to our gender. Even in 2019 when my sibling transitioned socially and we accepted them with opened arms.
There’s a shift happening right now that younger women don’t fully understand. Most women in 1st world countries have had this level of equality & all their choices because of centuries of women fighting for it. It was only a little over 50 years ago when American women couldn’t get their own credit card, buy their own homes, own land, cars, etc.. (not the 1%, they’ve always had freedom). It shouldn’t be baffling that a religious American man doesn’t want daughters. If she stays with him he’ll probably kill her & the babies. Statistically speaking, she’s a dead woman walking.
The fact that people would reject their children just because of their sexual organs is beyond me... Those people shouldn't have kids at all.
say it louder for the people in the back
Seriously, this man will abuse these girls, emotionally AT LEAST.
@@juliaboskamp9666 and hand them a megaphone, so those in the hallway can hear it, too.
Yeah…this is a trend. In history, due to systemic sexism, sons were seen as paramount while daughters were usually political bargaining chips at most, strategic marriage and all.
@@brookew2403My grandma did this. She only wanted to spend time with my cousin and me, not with our brothers or our boy cousins.
She also only bought presents for us, not our brothers, for Christmas.
I can remember noticing this and it made me not want to spend time with her or get any gifts from her.
(Oddly, it made my cousin want to go see her more and be closer to her. She said it made sense for a grandma to only spend time with her granddaughters.)
Now my grandma is in her 80s and I have almost no relationship with her.
She always preferred her one daughter over her 4 sons, too, and now she doesn’t have much of a relationship with any of her sons.
None of them ever want to spend much time with her or their sister.
Read the update of the first story and it's full of good news. OPs brother and BIL took her in and are happily supporting her and her church is backing her. Some of her church friends are even doing a bakesale to raise money for OP and the babies. They cut off the mother and when the husband called OP, her BIL stepped in, told him to stop and offered to pay for therapy for the pain of the loss of the son. Life is looking good and stable for OP and the babies. What a happy ending to such a tragic beginning.
Yeah good on her screw the husband he can go sterile and never get a son cause he would probably abuse his son
@@kariusblood-drinker9862 or instill his toxic beliefs
OP's brother, BIL, and even the people at her church are better men (and women) then her ex-husband. OP has an entire wolf pack on her side. I hope that OP's ex-husband has to pay child support for his daughters.
But where did this happen? Isn't the father obliged by law to pay child support?
@silviac221 yes, but op is jsut scared and naive when it comes to life after divorce
I just held a German wedding half a year ago and had African friends coming. I explained to them that I personally didn't care, but that wearing white is considered rude since that colour is reserved for the bride (me in that case). They came in wonderful lilac and light blue dresses and got many compliments. But still they didn't outshine me, that is ridiculous. In Germany we say it is impossible to outshine the bride 😂
Nevermind the fact that it’s the male who determines the sex of the kids, but telling your still grieving wife who considered ending it all that she was the reason their first child was stillborn and that she owes it to you to give you at least one boy is beyond horrific.
Thankfully, tere is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
@@TheMadagascarqueenthanks so much for sourcing an update and posting it here!
@@TheMadagascarqueen What a relief to hear there's such a support network around her to help ❤
@@mr_dnd other people on this video posted comments saying the update. That's how I found out
@@TheMadagascarqueen thanks to them too!
As a german so far i know
German weeding: Do not wear the color of the bride. So mostly white or whatever color the bride chooses. A friend of mine got married in red, so no red. Apart from that, there are no special rules. Everyone wears something nice.
I think that's perfectly reasonable, but you have to explain this if your guest is not german.
So, basically, the same rules as those we have in the States.
I've usually received invitations stating "formal" attire or some such, so there's a word you can google and look at pictures. The problem in this case is that "dress to impress" is a shit guideline and if the MOB had said "formal wear, floor length" there probably wouldn't have been an issue. It's as if she wanted OP to fail giving her no directions at all to work with...
@@TheVulpeshyea but op didn’t even wear the bride’s color lol
@@MeMe-tw4xbLike they legit either wanted this to happen or didn't know how to explain shit.
There is an update to the triplets story. OP is leaving her husband and moved in with her brother and his husband. The brother and husband are going to support and take care of OP and her daughters until the kids are old enough that OP can seek employment and hopefully get a place of her own.
thanks, i was worried for her
Love this! Thank you!! 👏
Glad OP at least has her brother to turn to for support considering that MIL ex husband and HER OWN mother are extremely lacking.
This is a great update.
Thank god. She’s been through so much loss and betrayal, it’s good to know she has someone who loves and supports her unconditionally
I swear everytime Rslash says "OKAY! THEN YOU DO IT" is probably the most funny and refreshing thing ever. Since lots of people will say 'well actually it's legally correct but not morally correct' and I'm happy that SOMEONE FINALLY calls these people out.
I am so, SO happy that OP has her brother and BIL. The rest of her family and in laws are disgusting, and she deserves so much better.
Have you read the update? The brother and BIL are fucking PHENOMENAL!
Thankfully, tere is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
@@TheMadagascarqueenThank God.
Screw that husband, and screw the Moms. “Oh, but at least he said he wouldn’t mistreat them.” Yeah, as if that makes everything better. What a group of despicable people.
Also this guy is going to love having 75% of his wages garnished to support the family he doesn’t want😂😂😂
Story 3: German here. OP did nothing wrong. It was on the mother of the bride to explain properly what was expected of OP, and when she failed to do that she turned to racism to cover for it. What a despicable hag.
The first story: the mother and MIL saying you shouldn’t divorce him just because he wants a boy, that’s not why you want to leave him. You are leaving him because he said point blank he plans on being a shitty father to their kids, and he screamed and verbally attacked his wife for a stillbirth of their child. Does he genuinely think the OP purposely killed their son so that they could only have girls?
I’m going to go out on a limb and say he probably does think that and probably thinks OP planned to have 3 baby girls just cause he has no brain cells much less a brain in his head
It’s clear that the women in this story are all in traditional wife roles that have been brainwashed through religion
Thankfully, there is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
Those in-laws are crazy. How are you gonna look at a parent and say that their partner promising to emotionally abuse their children for their entire life isn't grounds for divorce??
You need to expose yourself to other cultures and other generations. People think differently.
@@dudeorduuude5211That's the problem.
@@dudeorduuude5211it’s still wrong
@@dudeorduuude5211 just because it's a different culture does not make the situation any better
@@ДмитрийГусарев-ж8ъ
That the point. Its not about begin good or bad. People will still do it cuz its "how should be and always will be" Which is dumb.
And that the reason I hate religious and cultures.
There's a bigger picture in the first story that i'd like to add. And that's the husband's obvious belief in gender roles. The fact that he is totally convinced that he won't be able to raise them the way he wants because of the gender is very telling! My mom was part of a family with 4 girls and one guy. That one guy was always excused from housework and it drove my mom crazy. Now, here I am, a guy raised to always help around the house and look at me! Not dead!
Thankfully, there is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
(6:41) RSlash: "Why are people so dumb?!"
Me, a retail worker: "I ask myself that every day..."
My parents had one shot at having a kid, which was me. My dad did all the typing “father-son” things with me, his daughter. OP’s husband is awful this is divorce worthy.
She’s already decided to divorce him, thankfully. The update is awesome!
I agree, but I don't think he deserves 5/5 buttholes. He deserves 4.5.
I'm my dad's third daughter. I'm also the one he took hunting and fishing and how to change my brakes. My MIL openly stated she didnt tech my husband how to cook because "that's not the mom's job, that's the women in his life's job." I💩 you not.
@@eleanorgill4455I was my dad's first and only daughter, and he also took me fishing, did woodworks with me, gardening, bird breeding, all of his hobbies. He was a decent dad before he died. Then when he did I came out as trans anyway so guess I'm his son lmao
@@eleanorgill4455 Wait, what? How is his mom not also one of the "women in his life"?
For the final story, OP was not only misinformed, but actively told "dress to impress" and nothing else. Wearing what she wore was inevitable and the bride and her mother should feel absolutely stupid because of it.
I don’t know man. If you’re going to a wedding from a culture you yourself state you’ve never been to a wedding for, would you not do a little bit of research? I agree that the bride and her mom were dumb for not being more clear about the dress code but how hard is it to Google that wedding culture for 5 minutes?
@@bridi0821 they explicitly said dress to impress, that was their chosen dress code. It is not her fault that they don’t know their own dress code.
@@bridi0821why would she expect the MOB to be lying?
She was told the dress code: be impressive. She wore her best. Her best was apparently 7000 X better than anyone else’s because, idk, they can’t dress? Everyone else wore gray? How is this her fault?
Sounds like some BS to me, putting in hidden traps for OP to fall into. Definitely racism at work as well.
@@aduckofsomesort I’m not saying the mother of the bride isn’t in the wrong. She is for being that vague. But I feel like if you’ve been invited to a wedding from a culture you have never been to before, you should at least do a 5 minute Google search about that wedding culture.
@@linpittsburgh2375 but it’s not lying. It’s a difference in culture. Dressing to impress for most European weddings is completely different when you dress to impress for an Asian wedding and apparently an African wedding as well.
It just seems like this situation would have been avoided if the mother of the bride was more clear and/or if OP looked into the culture of the wedding she went to before going. It’s an ESH situation IMO.
“It’s only natural for men to want boys!”
My dad didn’t care that I was born a girl, and he outright told my mom that if they were able to, he would want 7 girls because he loved raising me.
The fact that this piece of shit is blaming his traumatized wife for the stillbirth of the son and that he wants nothing to do with his daughters is absolutely disgusting. He isn’t a man and he clearly showed he’s not ever gonna be a real father.
The sad thing is that most men who are that obsessed with it, want boys because they are misogynistic assholes who want what they consider "the better gender", rude, disgusting and sad.
My dad is a shitty person but he's never cared that I was born female, he never once treated me differently for that. If anything, I was closer to him then my mom since my mom didn't know how to raise a girl. My dad taught me video games and all that neat stuff, he'd wear jewelry I made him and still does, he even let me paint his toes before lol.
Of course we want boys because we're boys and we want our son to do things with us. That being said I have 3 girls and one son and I feel no differently on that basis alone. I love them all. Im close with my son who engages in alot of my hobbies, he's literally me, but Im close with my daughters on different things, things that Ive come to enjoy because of them.
"it's only natural for men to want boys" is just a false phrase to justify abuse and it's GROSS
The mother and MIL set the bar real low with their "At least he isn't saying he'll mistreat them" 🤮
The third story is just WOW. The audacity. Like, she specifically ASKED the MoB what she should wear, and was specifically TOLD to "dress to IMPRESS". And now she's somehow in the wrong because she did exactly what she was told to do? Yeah, sure.
‘Dress to impress’ means you go all out. Her colleague should have been much more specific, knowing she was from a different culture. I know that even fancy German clothing is very neutral and understated, not bright and big and bold, but SHE might not have known that! I’m sure she stood out tremendously, and that may have been embarrassing for her. It’s the role of the host to make their guests comfortable, so either guide her to what you’re expecting, or celebrate her fabulous outfit. She wore it to honour the bride, not to upstage her. Her intent was nothing but good, so be gracious about it!
@@karenneill9109 "Dress to impress" means wear what you would to a job interview. It is reasonable to expect someone who knows your culture to just wear a basic suit/dress if you tell them that.
The OP obviously didn't and it's weird that everyone decided to throw a baby tantrum instead of talking to them like an adult.
@@christopherjones8448 Really! I wouldn’t have known that.
@@christopherjones8448 Nope, what you describe would be 'business formal'. Dress to Impress is go all out to show-off. Now words may have been lost translation somewhere, but the person sending the invitation should have been clearer.
Last story: it doesn't matter if you are missing something, because the OP woukd have also missed that. Problem is, she specifically asked about anything she might miss. And she wasn't told this information. If the mother doesn't inform the OP correctly, that is on the mother, not OP.
But it does matter. Because r/slash isn’t living in Germany however OP is. If you move to a foreign country it is on you to do the necessary research to fit in. Let’s not pretend that a Google search on what to wear or going to a clothing store and asking the associates is all that hard. Also let’s not blame people for “not informing” when the mother most likely did not even think she had to mention that because it is common sense that you at least try to fit in. Now I do agree that it was poorly handled, she could have simply informed OP to change once they saw her. But let’s not blame other people for our mistakes
@@inud9823 No, it was the mistake of the mother, because the OP specifically asked for information and was told "Dress to impress". Not only was she not informed, she was misinformed. OP's research was asking locals, which is usually much better than googling, especially because it would inform OP specifically what this specific group would want, something a google search wouldn't be able to tell you (as google can tell you that it is okay, but maybe the group wouldn't find it okay). Saying that OP had to google the information is basically saying to not trust locals about their own customs.
I love how impassioned rslash is in this episode-the impassioned yelling of “YOURE AN IDIOT” and “THEN YOU TAKE THEM IN” made my morning.
I’m grateful for those moments because I can live my emotions through him. Sounds weird, but I’m in a place in my life where I can’t show myself freely to basically anyone. So, thanks rSlash, please keep including your honest reactions in your videos.
YELL AT YOUR NUTSACK
SAME. ITS THE RAGE AND ENERGY THAT I NEED TO START MY MORNING BEFORE MY CS JOB. 😊
THEN YOU DOOOO IT!!!! lol 😝
@@heppahullu NO LITERALLY SAME?? It feels so freeing to hear him be so genuine-he brings a bit of happiness and human connection to my day everyday.
When I read through the first story on Reddit, and op's husband blamed her for their stillborn son, my jaw hit the floor. That may be the most callous, disrespectful, insulting, and cruel thing I have ever seen. Not only should op divorce her husband, but she should cut off all contact between him and her daughters. That man doesn't deserve her or her babies.
I desperately hope op of that one has someone who can help and support her through the separation and getting away from him, because it honestly feels like she may not be safe as long as he's around
@@angstyuchiha Thankfully, OP has an unbelievably incredible brother and BIL. The update is just wonderful:
I didn't expect to have an update so soon, but after reading everyone's comments I decided to take action immediately and went to my brother's house. We talked for hours through the night and came up with a plan.
I am going to divorce my husband. He's shown the kind of man he is and I don't want to live in or raise daughters in that kind of environment.
I'm going to move in with my brother and BIL during all this. He and his husband have a nice, large house where I can have my own room and a nursery for the triplets. I originally worried that perhaps myself and three babies would be overwhelming or a burden to him and my BIL but they assured me they would love to have us here. I knew everything would be okay when my brother even offered to have a baby monitor put in their bedroom so he could help if more than one of the triplets woke up during the night. My BIL has a nice, high paying job and my brother works from home, so I will have a stable environment and my brother will help with his nieces. My own niece is excited for us to live with her. The current plan is I will live with my brother and BIL for a while and once my babies are old enough where I feel comfortable putting them in daycare, which my BIL has offered to pay for, then I can try to find a job of my own where I can save up money and eventually move into a nice place of my own with my daughters. I'm so thankful for my brother and BIL, they truly feel like angels.
My brother and I are also going to go no contact with my mother. My brother and I discussed her behavior with us growing up, how she treated him when he came out and also got married, and how she's treated me these past few days. We decided this was the best course of action as we've given her many chances in our lives to became more stable and kind but she's always refused them, and we want our daughters to grow up in with a loving family.
When I knew my husband had left for church this morning my brother, BIL, and I went to my house and got all my important things such as documents, clothes, and things that are special to me as well as all the baby things. My BIL's mother watched my niece while we did all this. She's a kind woman and has offered to be a grandmother to my own babies, which I happily accepted. I will admit that I cried, I've cried a lot lately, but mostly happy tears.
Because my brother and I didn't go to church my ladies bible study group texted me and asked if we were alright and if we needed anything. I texted them back and told them the truth and what happened, and they were all horrified. They told me they support me and are proud of me for taking action, and are now even planning a bake sale at the church to help raise money for me and my babies. Also apparently when my husband went out to lunch after church with his men's bible group, one of the other members is husbands to one of my friends in my bible group and when he found out what happened he yelled at my husband so much that he cried. I got a little bit of joy out of hearing about that, not going to lie.
My pastor even called me and asked if I'm okay, and he let me know that I'l always have people who support me at my church, which I'm very grateful for.
After my husband came home from church and saw that most of my stuff was gone he blew up my phone, but my BIL called him for me and said that he would pay for my husband to get therapy for his grief over our son and also told him to leave me alone. My husband has not tried to contact me since, and he has yet to give my BIL an answer for his therapy offer.
All in all I'm so grateful for my brother and BIL, I wouldn't be able to do any of this without them. I'm hopeful for the future and while this isn't the kind of future I imagined myself or my babies this is definitely the best one I can currently give them.
They say it takes a village, and my babies will definitely have a village full of love and support.
Thank you and bless you to everyone who left comments supporting me. I'm grateful for all of them. I'm glad I could give you a very speedy and happy update.
@@angstyuchihaher brother lets her move in and pay for her and the babies until they're old enough for her to work. There's like 3 updates to the story
He deserves 4.5/5 buttholes, not 5.
Thankfully, there is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
Story about a man being a bad dad makes rSlash get super angry. As he should.
For the second story: rSlash getting angry of seeing hypocrites is getting more intense as it goes on.
I think he needs a break.😅
I totally understand him. I can't stand hypocrites either.
@@fenraley1343We all need a break from toxic people, but I don't think he's at the point of unreasonableness yet. He's appropriately pissed imo
Ngl Even though I live for his animated commentary I do you think he needs a break soon
Dude i was thinking both of those things, the enthusiasm is righteously increasing
UPDATE: AITA For Wanting To Divorce My Husband For Wanting A Son?
I didn't expect to have an update so soon, but after reading everyone's comments I decided to take action immediately and went to my brother's house. We talked for hours through the night and came up with a plan.
I am going to divorce my husband. He's shown the kind of man he is and I don't want to live in or raise daughters in that kind of environment.
I'm going to move in with my brother and BIL during all this. He and his husband have a nice, large house where I can have my own room and a nursery for the triplets. I originally worried that perhaps myself and three babies would be overwhelming or a burden to him and my BIL but they assured me they would love to have us here. I knew everything would be okay when my brother even offered to have a baby monitor put in their bedroom so he could help if more than one of the triplets woke up during the night. My BIL has a nice, high paying job and my brother works from home, so I will have a stable environment and my brother will help with his nieces. My own niece is excited for us to live with her. The current plan is I will live with my brother and BIL for a while and once my babies are old enough where I feel comfortable putting them in daycare, which my BIL has offered to pay for, then I can try to find a job of my own where I can save up money and eventually move into a nice place of my own with my daughters. I'm so thankful for my brother and BIL, they truly feel like angels.
My brother and I are also going to go no contact with my mother. My brother and I discussed her behavior with us growing up, how she treated him when he came out and also got married, and how she's treated me these past few days. We decided this was the best course of action as we've given her many chances in our lives to became more stable and kind but she's always refused them, and we want our daughters to grow up in with a loving family.
When I knew my husband had left for church this morning my brother, BIL, and I went to my house and got all my important things such as documents, clothes, and things that are special to me as well as all the baby things. My BIL's mother watched my niece while we did all this. She's a kind woman and has offered to be a grandmother to my own babies, which I happily accepted. I will admit that I cried, I've cried a lot lately, but mostly happy tears.
Because my brother and I didn't go to church my ladies bible study group texted me and asked if we were alright and if we needed anything. I texted them back and told them the truth and what happened, and they were all horrified. They told me they support me and are proud of me for taking action, and are now even planning a bake sale at the church to help raise money for me and my babies. Also apparently when my husband went out to lunch after church with his men's bible group, one of the other members is husbands to one of my friends in my bible group and when he found out what happened he yelled at my husband so much that he cried. I got a little bit of joy out of hearing about that, not going to lie.
My pastor even called me and asked if I'm okay, and he let me know that I'll always have people who support me at my church, which I'm very grateful for.
After my husband came home from church and saw that most of my stuff was gone he blew up my phone, but my BIL called him for me and said that he would pay for my husband to get therapy for his grief over our son and also told him to leave me alone. My husband has not tried to contact me since, and he has yet to give my BIL an answer for his therapy offer.
All in all I'm so grateful for my brother and BIL, I wouldn't be able to do any of this without them. I'm hopeful for the future and while this isn't the kind of future I imagined myself or my babies this is definitely the best one I can currently give them. They say it takes a village, and my babies will definitely have a village full of love and support.
Thank you and bless you to everyone who left comments supporting me. I'm grateful for all of them. I'm glad I could give you a very speedy and happy update.
Dabney mentioning his daughter is two and a half just made it hit me how long I've been listening to his videos.. I remember when he first became a dad, I remember when he posted the first puppy bloopers with Yugo.. I've been here for like four years. Every day for four years 😭 God damn.
Same here. Where did that time go?
SAME!! Every time he mentions that Lily's more than 2 years old I do a double-take b/c what??? wasn't she *just* born???
@thesewinggeekmiri9029 LITERALLY its like Yugo not being a puppy anymore I refuse to believe it
Nigerian here. Every party, let alone wedding, is a fashion show. Almost everyone wears bespoke clothes. They buy the materials and get them to a tailor who often sews them to a unique design. It's a sign of respect that you dress up for someone's event. You put an effort into celebrating with them in every way possible.
Even if you expect someone to do as Romans do in Rome, if you don't tell them what Romans do, that's on you.
That sounds like it would be quite the interesting event to go to, thanks for sharing
German here, this was an honest misunderstanding, but the MIL is acting out and the coworker who made the comment about manners is either xenophobic or racist.
Unless there is a dress-up dresscode you don't go over the top at weddings here. You do dress nicely and formal, but not fashion show level at all. And people who grew up here no matter the skin color dress like the rest, so the MIL probably assumed she knew what was the norm. It's not OPs fault, she asked, it was an honest mistake.
German here - never even heard about someone get angry about people wearing whatever to a wedding that's not either totally inappropriate (like of course don't show up in dirty yoga pants, or like a bikini or something silly) that obviously doesn't fit the occasion or b) is a wedding dress.
That is the only rule I'm aware of.
Also that is totally on the mother in law. If you want people to show up in usual European cocktail/evening gown attire, you HAVE to tell them the dress code is "Abendgarderobe" or something. That's not the same as "dress to impress".
Feels like the coworker set a trap for OP.
Also how weird is it, that the MIL, not even the BRIDE (!!) invites random coworkers to a wedding that's not even hers?
No shame on OP, but the MIL is super weird. Usually the only one who invites people are the bride and groom.
@@TemariNaraannaschatz nah, tbh i don't feel like that's a misunderstanding on the MILs part. If the dress codes was like formal gowns and stuff, she should've told OP the dress code is "formal" oder "Abendgarderobe" or something like that.
I don't feel thats the same. Dress to impress could've also have people show up in dirndl or similar, for example.
Also why is the MIL inviting random people in the first place? That seems really weird to me. I never heard of someone inviting people who wasn't either the bride or the groom. Weird.
@@Scarlett.Granger Yeah "dress to impress" is definitly the wrong choice or words here.
The invite could have been previously cleared wth the bride, so I wouldn't make a call here. Although I think it's weird. But it might just be a general +1 situation where ride and Groom gave people the option to bring someone along.
I always love the absolute rage that rslash has for the “Then…YOU DO IT!”. It’s his trademark response by this point 😂
it needs to be a t-shirt
I love it because it's more aggressive every time
She said "dress to impress". So she did. OP did nothing wrong. I bet OP looked magnificent, good on you girl.
Her host/coworker is really to blame for all this. She put both her daughter and OP in bad situations. She should have known the curiosity with which a crowd of ethnic Germans would react to a stranger. And either prepared her daughter or not invited OP.
This was my sentiment as well. She did exactly as she was told. I bet she looked incredible, would've loved to have seen a picture. OP is not responsible for the bride & MOB clear jealousy & insecurities. Nor is she responsible for any of her colleagues racism. Idk how companies in Germany operate, but I'd have gone to HR or whatever their equivalency is
I feel like if you’re told to dress to impress and you impress people can’t get mad at you 😂
That would make things too easy
my favourite part of watching these videos is when rslash yells with rage; "THEN *YOU* DO IT"
Wedding story: OP specifically asked about a dress code and she followed it to the best of her understanding. Also, she says that she deflected any praise towards the bride. OP didn't do anything wrong, that falls on the MOB for failing to properly answer OP's question, so MOB is the one who needs to apologize to everyone for the faux pas.
And honestly, from an American perspective (idk about German) the other guests are still more at fault than OP. If outshining the bride is a thing in Germany like it is in America, I'd imagine there's also an expectation of how other guests can contribute to that. If all anyone was going on about was how beautiful she looked and not paying enough attention to the bride, they were also contributing to the social faux pas. And it's worse because they know how you're supposed to behave. Ultimately, however, I agree that the mother of the bride is the worst here. I am going to choose to give the bride a slight pass because the mom seems like an instigator so who knows what she told her. If she chose to go around spreading gossip to the co-workers, I wouldn't put it past her to tell her daughter that she did give OP a dress code or something like that.
Honestly does sound like MoB did this on purpose to make OP look bad. If I invited a person from a country with very different wedding ceremonies, I would show them many examples of my culture's wedding traditions and guest wear as well as the bride's themes and pinterest boards, and then help them choose what they think would be appropriate. And if they wanted to wear their own culture's clothing, that'd be cool. I'd try and help discern if there is an issue but I think most people would find it cool.
Honestly it sounds awesome. I'm having a fairly low-key woodland fairy themed wedding in the mountains next fall and if someone in traditional African wedding garb wishes to traipse through the forest with me and my white boho wedding look, I want like 4 million pictures to show my grandkids. It'd be amazing.
@@k.c.8662 Dude, first let me say that your grammar is amazing. While reading your comment, I looked for typical mistakes that people make (those who are native to the English language) and was surprised. Usually people who have good or great grammar learned English as a secondary language, sometimes making mistakes that give away that it's not their native language. At which point, I will provide them guidance on how to be better (because how else can they improve if no one gives them feedback, right?).
That said, if there's anything like an HR department for the company OP is working in, then she should definitely go speak to them and tell them the situation. MOB is creating a hostile work environment, and with what are arguably lies to boot. At the very least, they can give MOB a warning to keep her negative gossip about coworkers to herself. Hopefully they would do more, such as investigating the matter some and trying to resolve the dispute (to some degree) rather than just tell her to put a cork in it. If that happens, then HR could tell MOB that since OP tried to do the right thing by asking about a dress code, but was told to "dress to impress," that OP didn't do anything wrong, that the miscommunication falls onto the person (MOB?) that failed to properly answer the question. I doubt any HR department would go that far officially, with a possible exception of sending the two to some sort of therapist (or someone else to sort it out with), but one can hope.
Yeah, I wouldn't assign to malice what could be adequately explained with incompetence. The incompetence being the mother not explaining what dress to impress means in that context. Also, as a German, when somebody told me to dress to impress, I'd expect the bride to wear an extremely eye catching dress that cannot be outshined. So, I fully attribute this to failure to communicate, possibly due to second language barrier and not necessarily to racism.
Something similar happened to me where I was told to “dress nice” and I ended up feeling like I was too nice (the bride said it was fine and was casual abt it) but it’s just a miscommunication issue that the coworker is too proud to admit fault for
The “THEN YOU DO IT” escalation over the years is glorious. 😂
I hear the tone start and have to turn down the volume, or I'll go deaf in one ear
I always look forward to this explosion! 😂😂
He is getting fed up 😂😂
Yeah, it's getting to the level of his old "CYA, WOULDN'T WANNA BE YA!"
Blaming your wife for miscarriage is some of the most vilest and cruelest things you can do, after reading the update i'm so glad op has support from her brother, BIL and church group. When op said that her ex cried after one of the male members of the church group screamed at him i almost laughed because it shows how pathetic he is, NTA.
I sadly suffered a miscarriage a couple months ago (just a few weeks after my husband got deployed, great timing 🙃) and we were both SO heartbroken. We still struggle with it, and whenever I start down the self-blaming path, he IMMEDIATELY reassures me that it wasn’t my fault and there was literally nothing I could have done to prevent it.
The husband in the first story is one of the worst types of people. He deserves to never see how wonderful those kids will be.
Also, sometimes gender tests are wrong. I know a few people that were said to be the opposite gender they were born as - one even as of the morning of their birth.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Thank God you hubby's got your back
Thankfully, there is an update to the first story. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
@@TheMadagascarqueen that’s such an uplifting and refreshing update to hear. I’m so glad OP has an amazing support system, and those babies are gonna be WELL taken care of!
"THEN YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU DOOOOOOO IT" is the funniest thing to come out of his mouth since he started using the Karen voice! My wife and I literally light up whenever he does that rant and I'm here for it!
Story 3: “So I have never been to a white wedding, how should I dress?”
“To impress.”
OP slays
“HOW DARE YOU?!”
Like, wtf did you expect lady? You sure you didn’t want to cause drama and to ruin OP’s reputation?
EDIT: OP posted a picture and it’s a stunning dress you would see at a ‘black tie event’. I would be 100% fine with OP at my wedding, but some people are so uptight about dress code.
From European perspective in the last story. Yes, it is the a-hole 2.5/5. It's extremely disrespectful to not do even bare minimum of research and ignore customs of Germans.
And rslash when he said European/amercian dress sounded ignorant.
@@PanzerFaust1754Yeah, no.
1: Even in Europe, what to expect at a wedding varies by country and individual. Case in point, I would be fine with that dress at my wedding while my sister would have acted closer to the bride in this story.
2: If you were invited by the mother of the bride, that should be enough to tell you what to expect at that specific wedding. It’s better to hear directly from the bride, but hard to say if the mother had permission to invite OP or not and is a point against OP for not trying to reach out to the bride first.
3: If you give someone vague instructions for an event and the results make you unhappy. Talk like a damn adult about the issue quietly at said event or afterwards instead of ridicule the person to all your coworkers.
@@PanzerFaust1754 You have been all over these comments defending OP and it really reads as you just defending the racist behaviors of her co-workers. OP asked what to wear, was given an answer, and was apparently just too good at doing what she was instructed to do. Kick sand dude.
@droopysealion5887 Why is it racist? This is cultural friction. She's an a-hole for her answer, but you also research the culture you are in. I would not wear European garb by default to another cultures wedding. I would also explain what I am thinking of wearing. Mother is still the bigger a-hole, but let's not lose what respect means.
@@danielmorton9956Without specific quotes, it is hard to know if the conversation is racially coded like OP said or just cultural friction like you suggest. ”This isn’t Africa.” “People here have manners.” Really can be taken either way, but with how the mother of the bride is behaving, all I’m hearing is the ‘Savages’ song from Pocahontas.
It’s so infuriating that they’re reducing the divorce to being “just because he wants a son”.
As if that’s the problem, not the way he verbally abused OP, not the way he straight up said he didn’t want a relationship with his children if they aren’t sons, not the fact that he called his wife a murderer essentially.
This has nothing to do with wanting sons and everything to do with how awful he acted when he didn’t get one
Don’t forget he spat on OP. That’s assault!
@@davidwatson6202we dont know that. op couldve meant he spat as in how he spoke to her, not as in spitting.
Right? I'd be like "Okay, no. I'm divorcing him because me and my daughters deserve better."
@@epickody3924 abuse starts with assaulting items/furniture - it's only a matter of time before he tries to hulk smash the living.
@@streamerssaymyname My thoughts exactly. My father was like that. OP's daughters deserve better because you know that behavior of his won't stop after they're born.
2:45 That's it. Goodbye. There are NO second changes after saying something like that.
There was an update to the first story. She left when he went to church, went to live with her brother and his husband and they helped get her on her feet. She told her church group who chewed him out and one husband of her friend from church shouted at him so much it made him cry.
Honestly, RSlash should create a T-shirt and other merchandise that says “OK, THEN YOU DO IT!” I bet people would get a kick out of that for sure.
also “SEE YA, WOULDN’T WANNA BE YA”
I would buy those...
Yea I'd buy both
And Don’t Mess with Tree Law or the IT guy.
I would totes buy one of those
Nope, as soon as he blamed her for the stillbirth that's the end; adding the fact that he said he will never love his daughters and the OP needs to leave. This is abuse.
No in my opinion before he blamed her it's over as soon as he screamed and broke the table. Unacceptable toddler behavior.
@@box0choco593 that was the same incident in which he blamed her.
@@RockinTheBassGuitar Yes but He didn't say he blamed her at the exact same time that he screamed and smashed the table. That would be impossible.
Thankfully, tere is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
@@TheMadagascarqueen Thank you. It's a relief to hear that she and the kids will be OK. That kind of grief can make people dangerous.
German here. OP in that last story is definitely NTA. Yes, outshining the bride is something you shouldn't do, same as in the US, but if the only information she had to go off of was "dress to impress" then she did everything she was told to do. The proper phrasing there should have been "dress nicely, but don't overdo it. And don't wear white". Bug it wasn't so the faux-pas is entirely on the coworker (bride's mom).
Danke schön.
From European perspective in the last story. Yes, it is the a-hole 2.5/5. It's extremely disrespectful to not do even bare minimum of research and ignore customs of Germans.
And rslash when he said European/amercian dress sounded ignorant.
@@PanzerFaust1754 A brief google search doesn't add those specific dress codes to German or European customs. In fact the first one that came up for me was that the bride is kidnapped the day before. Plus, she was told to dress her best. OP is definitely not at fault here. (Also European perspective)
@@crypticcryptid4702 Don't mind him. Literal white supremacist.
4:52 my ex of 3 years did something really similar. He blamed ME for getting pregnant. Dude, it takes two people to make a baby. Then I miscarried and he blamed me again for “purposefully” miscarrying around 4-20 “because I know 4-20 is like his birthday”. We were 25, not 15. We were going to go to a weed convention that you couldn’t buy weed at. It literally wasn’t important at all. He called a friend to go with him and the friend ended up staying with me while he went alone. He was the definition of making weed his whole personality but doesn’t do anything science or growing related. He just smokes. That’s his whole personality 6 years later as well.
The still birth, then getting pregnant with triplets part of that story happened to a friend of mine. It’s crazy hearing it happened to someone else.
The beautiful part of her story is, her doctor told her that her body likely wouldn’t have been able to handle triplets as a first pregnancy. So it was like the angel baby was making way for the triplets. For lack of a better way to explain it.
Hope your friend is doing better.
Thankfully, there is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
German here. Regarding the last story, that's just good old fashioned, disgusting racism. Yeah, we do have some traditions when it comes to weddings, some are local, some weird, some wholesome. But being an a$$ to someone who is following the dress code YOU provided is definitely not one of them. Nowhere in Germany.
Yeah, it almost read as jealousy. Sounds like OP turned up looking amazing and people were drawn to her. That might happen at any event. What would the excuse have been if OP turned up in western dress and still attracted attention? MOB and the bride need to get over themselves.
From European perspective in the last story. Yes, it is the a-hole 2.5/5. It's extremely disrespectful to not do even bare minimum of research and ignore customs of Germans.
And rslash when he said European/amercian dress sounded ignorant.
@@fdm2155lol, no one would be jealous for that thing
@@PanzerFaust1754 Ok so let me ask this question, if you are asking someone of the culture in which you are attending an event, what to wear or bring, is that not part of the research? If I was INVITED to an event that I knew very little about, I would ask questions to the person who invited me or is hosting. That is what Op did. A wedding is a specific event that can have specific rules that may not be universal so asking the question was appropriate. The MOB only told Op to "dress to impress". So Op did.
@@Jenova180 EXACTLY!!! Especially since different areas of a country can have different rules and expectations. NiceDude1617 is SO NOT a nice dude - as usual when some dude claims to be nice
Having kids is like the ultimate 50-50 of what you’re gonna get. I’d hope that sorry ass dude has only daughters for the rest of his life, but I don’t wanna put that kinda relationship on anyone.
Anything to humble a man's pride, I'm for it
@@VicGeorge2K6yess
Story 1: is OP’s husband a reincarnation of Henry VIII?
No because even Henry never told Katherine or Anne that they killed his sons (Katherine had at least 3 boys, only one making it to full term amd dying at 2 months old).
While he did blame them to a degree Henry was NEVER cruel enough to say that out loud to anyone, especially not his wives.
The man was a tyrant but even he had a line he wouldn't cross
And like every other sexist men with power
There is research from the 1940’s about a medical condition called McLeod’s Syndrome. First pregnancies more often go well especially for female children. Subsequent pregnancies end in miscarriages, especially for male children.
This condition is based off of rH factors and carried down the female line. Males who have it have other symptoms later in life that include those similar to syphilis, advanced diabetes and mental disorders. Henry VIII showed all the symptoms of an advanced case, but without DNA proof, it cannot be proven.
@@callanightshade8079 He divorced two wives, and beheaded two others, on trumped up charges, and cheated on every wife, and you say he was not cruel? I think you need to read the real history.
I love when r slash goes into the. “Then WHY DoNt YOU DO IT” to the family members lmao. It gets me everytime. Because it’s so damn true!
the shouting "OKAAAAY. THEN YOOOOUUU TAKE THEM IN!!!" has me WEAAAKKKK HAHAHAHAAA- this is EXACTLY what these people need to hear!
Sitting at my kitchen table putting on makeup and absolutely screaming at the first story! RSLASH you and I were screaming together! How absolutely vile her husband is to say she killed the first one! Girl get away from him NOW!!!! This is just the first sign of a weak, pathetic man who is going to abuse her and the girls. RUN!!!!!
Someone posted an update in the comments that she's moved in with her brother, the church is behind her and someone in the men's Bible study made her husband cry.
Earlier, I would have pointed out that OP is caught between a rock and a hard place and that divorcing her husband wouldn’t be so simple.
Thankfully, an update to her story no longer makes that the case. Her brother and his husband offered to let her and her daughters stay with them until OP can get a place of her own. They’ve all agreed to go NC with their mom and BIL’s mom is happy to help with her grand nieces.
Also, OP’s Bible study group is planning a bake sale to raise money for her while her pastor has promised to give whatever help he can. Her soon-to-be ex-husband’s Bible study group also chewed him out for his behavior.
Dawg chill out 🤣 half these stories are karma farming ragebait
@@animeotaku307Fantastic! It's got to be wonderful having all that support! God bless her and her 3 beautiful baby girls.
@@Diamondr11Blue and it worked.
As someone who went to a German wedding I can confirm that it’s just a silly time. Everyone was trying to out do everyone else, had some great drinks with the bois, played a game where you had to raise your shoes, and learned how to make loud ringing noises with a glass from the groom’s grandma. Would do again.
That sounds like so much fun!
I've been a plenty German weddings and that is not the norm (dress wise). Basic formal wear is the norm unless told otherwise.
The shoe thing however is a thing and fun.
As a European I remember the bewilderment I felt when I heard about gender reveals because I genuinely still can’t understand why people care so much. I’m used to learning about it in a “oh you’re pregnant? Congrats what are you having” “oh a girl” “cool” and that’s it, the most uncommon thing is when someone doesn’t want to know till birth.
I think it’s incredibly toxic to be honest since I can’t fathom why so much importance is put on someone’s gender in America as if it says anything about who they’ll be as a person. It’s kind of disgusting seeing how often the parent’s reaction is straight up insane to be honest.
I think the initial point of the gender reveal was that the parents who started it had a series of miscarriages and never got to that point, so it became a celebration that this one was going well. Love the fun get together to celebrate a milestone in the pregnancy, but some things have gone too far. One couple got into serious legal trouble after starting a forest fire. Keep it tame people. I would just have whoever has the info order the personalized pink and/or blue baby teddy bears from Build a Bear.
The first person who did it as a fun little surprise for herself and her family. Everyone else has taken it too far. But the whole “I MUST HAVE A SON!” Thing has existed before my own great grandfather was born
Actually the first gender reveal was done by the US Marine Corps for a horse by the name of Sgt. Reckless... so we have gender reveals because a horse from Korea was a war hero and got knocked up for publicity
It's *definitely* toxic. And as an American, most of the people I know react to hearing someone is pregnant the same way you described. Some people are just insane.
I’m the first person on my moms side to be born outside of England so I feel like I can really answer this. You gotta think of the US as the European Union rather than one country bc of how big it is. There’s some parts of the US that are really conservative (think more like Bulgaria) where someone sex plays a much larger role in what’s expected of them than more liberal areas (think Western Europe) and as different ideas become transnational in Europe they chance and are influenced by regional aspects. Same with the gender reveal party. There’s some evidence that the origins of the gender reveal party come from parents of a trans person who threw the gender reveal party for their 12 year old as a “we got it wrong the first time” kind of joke and it spiraled. Also as the result of just how bloody big the US is, there’s a lot of untamed woods and massive national parks (the biggest US national park is bigger than 20 European countries, with Croatia being the closest country in size and there are several states with a population density of under 8 people per square km) so people have ability to do stuff without being stopped at a very different level than in Europe. Overall, however, gender reveal parties aren’t super common and as some people have said it’s when you’ve have multiple miscarriages you learn to enjoy every second of the pregnancy bc it literally could end tomorrow. The two most common situations in the US are either baby’s name and sometimes gender is announced around the baby shower, so with roughly 2-3 months left in the pregnancy. Or a lot of people will wait until after the baby is born to announce anything beyond the fact that they are pregnant.
Know what I love about RSlash? His hilarious titrates! The way he starts ranting and raving is great! Especially when he said that O.P’s ex-husband to yell at ballsack what genius! 😂😂
6:25 yes there was! That was king Henry the 8th.
“you shouldn’t be yelling at your pregnant wife you should be yelling at your nut sack” fucking killed me
It's disgusting that human beings can be so cold. My wife and I recently lost identical twin boys at 22 weeks. And that kind of pain is immeasurable. I can't imagine how OP felt when her husband freaked out. Wishing the best for OP
I’m so sorry that you lost your twins, that is a heartbreak that no parent should have to endure. Sending you lots of love and virtual hugs. ❤❤❤
I hope you're doing well. 💗
so sorry for the loss of your twins. My condolences to you and your wife.
Thankfully, tere is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
I am so sorry for your loss. 🫂
@TheMadagascarqueen thank you for the update! I'm so glad she's leaving and is safe
Blaming a mother for a still birth is a dumb and evil thing to do. Depending on what caused the still birth to happen the "issue" could have easily been from OP's husband's sperm and NOT from any biological problem with OP. Sadly this happened to someone I know and he had to go through a couple of years of treatment to get his "sperm healthy" (Edit: He's got three kids now so the treatment worked 👍 )
I don’t think OP’s “husband” cares all that much he rather not love his kids and is willing to blame someone for something this isn’t their fault
He has nothing now. Update said the wife is leaving that scumbag and moving in with her brother and husband in the meantime
@@InkHyaena good for her
The
Moment
Someone says something like he did. IN FRONT OF THE FAMILY. I don’t care if he’s still grieving the first child, there is NO excuse for this behavior. If he’ll do this in public, IMAGINE what he’ll do in private. To think OP and those three kids would be so much better off without someone who’ll only begrudgingly raise those kids while still blaming OP is just… wow
Thankfully, tere is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
Update to the first Story:
UPDATE: AITA For Wanting To Divorce My Husband For Wanting A Son?
I didn't expect to have an update so soon, but after reading everyone's comments I decided to take action immediately and went to my brother's house. We talked for hours through the night and came up with a plan.
I am going to divorce my husband. He's shown the kind of man he is and I don't want to live in or raise daughters in that kind of environment.
I'm going to move in with my brother and BIL during all this. He and his husband have a nice, large house where I can have my own room and a nursery for the triplets. I originally worried that perhaps myself and three babies would be overwhelming or a burden to him and my BIL but they assured me they would love to have us here. I knew everything would be okay when my brother even offered to have a baby monitor put in their bedroom so he could help if more than one of the triplets woke up during the night. My BIL has a nice, high paying job and my brother works from home, so I will have a stable environment and my brother will help with his nieces. My own niece is excited for us to live with her. The current plan is I will live with my brother and BIL for a while and once my babies are old enough where I feel comfortable putting them in daycare, which my BIL has offered to pay for, then I can try to find a job of my own where I can save up money and eventually move into a nice place of my own with my daughters. I'm so thankful for my brother and BIL, they truly feel like angels.
My brother and I are also going to go no contact with my mother. My brother and I discussed her behavior with us growing up, how she treated him when he came out and also got married, and how she's treated me these past few days. We decided this was the best course of action as we've given her many chances in our lives to became more stable and kind but she's always refused them, and we want our daughters to grow up in with a loving family.
When I knew my husband had left for church this morning my brother, BIL, and I went to my house and got all my important things such as documents, clothes, and things that are special to me as well as all the baby things. My BIL's mother watched my niece while we did all this. She's a kind woman and has offered to be a grandmother to my own babies, which I happily accepted. I will admit that I cried, I've cried a lot lately, but mostly happy tears.
Because my brother and I didn't go to church my ladies bible study group texted me and asked if we were alright and if we needed anything. I texted them back and told them the truth and what happened, and they were all horrified. They told me they support me and are proud of me for taking action, and are now even planning a bake sale at the church to help raise money for me and my babies. Also apparently when my husband went out to lunch after church with his men's bible group, one of the other members is husbands to one of my friends in my bible group and when he found out what happened he yelled at my husband so much that he cried. I got a little bit of joy out of hearing about that, not going to lie.
My pastor even called me and asked if I'm okay, and he let me know that I'll always have people who support me at my church, which I'm very grateful for.
After my husband came home from church and saw that most of my stuff was gone he blew up my phone, but my BIL called him for me and said that he would pay for my husband to get therapy for his grief over our son and also told him to leave me alone. My husband has not tried to contact me since, and he has yet to give my BIL an answer for his therapy offer.
All in all I'm so grateful for my brother and BIL, I wouldn't be able to do any of this without them. I'm hopeful for the future and while this isn't the kind of future I imagined myself or my babies this is definitely the best one I can currently give them. They say it takes a village, and my babies will definitely have a village full of love and support.
Thank you and bless you to everyone who left comments supporting me. I'm grateful for all of them. I'm glad I could give you a very speedy and happy update.
I just LOVE how emotional Rslash is in this video, I don't think I've ever laughed this much at how wonderfully funny it is
I loved him telling OP’s soon-to-ex that he should yell at his own nutsack. THAT was funny! 😂
Last story: Given no one actually can tell you what specifically in your outfit was inappropriate, I'm guessing the only actual problem is that it was traditionally afiecan or because people thought it looked good. You're trying to understand the problem but you're so called friend isn't actually giving you an answer she didn't like that you had attention on you even though it's not your fault people gave you like what you were wearing. Tell this lady and the jerk that tried to imply you had no manners because you're from Africa to not talk to you because apparently in Germany manners mean try to talk people behind their back.
Yup it was 100% a race thing if she had worn a normal dress in the same color she probably wouldn’t of gotten as much attention but since she wore something from her homeland, it’s deemed as “exotic” so I got more attention.
Oop
My parents went to a wedding in India and wore traditional garb for India. However it was stated to them and then provided. The lady writing in the last story is 100% valid since expectations weren’t truly explained.
I'm from Germany and I knew right away that it was a faux-pas, but it wasn't intentional and she had asked, so if it's anyones fault it's the MIL. And to add: people no matter the skin color who grew up in Germany dress like every other German on weddings, so the MIL obviously didn't think of her differently in terms of culture, which is on her.
Honestly. I think it was 100% explained correctly. The issue was a cultural mistranlation. Our version of "dress to impress" for a wedding is definitely different than that for someone from asia or africa, but with both parties lacking the knowledge or expirience of the other group to know that the phrase represents different things for either culture, there's no way of knowing until its too late
4- NTA, I'm East African, and women’s wedding attire especially is extremely extravagant, but since everyone is wearing the latest and greatest, no one stands out except the bride who's wearing bridalwear!
I live for the "THEN YOU TAKE THEM IN" from Rslash. I always know when its coming, and when it does, I love every moment of the inflection.
There's an update to the first story. OP ends up moving in with her brother and brother-in-law. They're happy to have her as long as she's willing to stay. She plans on divorcing the husband and she has cut contact with her mother, proving why her brother cut contact with her from the start. OP is doing well and she's thankful for her loving brother and BIL for being there for her when she needed someone the most.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard Dabney yell so much in a video, but it’s more than warranted here. The husband in Story 1 can just burn on a pyre for all I care, and the constant hypocrisy from stories like Story 2 would drive anyone crazy.
You're recommending death to a r3ddit story ? Grow up
@@Diamondr11Bluethe husband in that story doesn’t deserve to breath the same air as all of us. To blame another human being for something out of her control is cold. Rude. And just disgusting. And he threw a temper tantrum. He’s a grown man. And as stated before. It’s the sperm that determines gender it’s not her fault. He needs to punch his own nutsack. And to only want a son. Then adopt one. He’s a cruel human. I’d say a dog but that would insult dogs.
@@kelsmister bro i don't care. Wishing death on someone over a possible fake story is cringe asf🤣
@@Diamondr11BlueHow about wishing death on a family member you justifiably hate?
@@Diamondr11Blue Now run along and let the adults talk
RSlash screaming “then you do it” and other variations always makes me laugh
Same
Between RSlash's "Then YOOOUUUU do it!" and Charlotte Dobre's "How are you not... EMBARRASSED!" I'm kept happy, lol.
I've noticed in the last year Dabney has turned from a cordial, polite, happy go lucky guy into an aggressive, sarcastic, "mean" curmudgeon. I love it. What an incredible improvement. Absolutely hilarious. Keep up the good work, sir!
I wouldn't really say it's an improvement. Like I get him being annoyed and aggravated, but seeing him like that all of the time is kind of worrying
I'm sure he's just exaggerating his emotional response for comedic effect.
There’s an update for the first story. Op left her husband and is living with her brother and BIL. The brother and BIL have a big house and say OP can stay as long as they want and are going to help Op with childcare
“I’m also gonna give Five out of Five Morons-
BECAUSE HE’S AN IDIOT!!!”
Best Line Ever
Story 1: *I have no words except that the man deserves the full 5/5 jerk-score.* I think that RSlash sums it up *_SOOOOOOOO_* much better than I ever could! OP, I'm _soooooooooooooooo_ sorry that you're going through all of this. You genuinely do NOT deserve and you and your daughters *_ABSOLUTELY NEED_* *to get the heck out of there*
Story 2: Again, RSlash pretty much sums it up perfectly, lol.
Story 3: Why do I feel like OP was set up?...🤦🏿♀️ 0/5 jerk-score for OP.
Edit: (Story 1) Seriously, though...I'm *_MAD!!!_* 😡😡😡😡😡
I'd break the scale and give him 7/5.
@@Shiverwar You know what, yeah. I also feel like the full 5/5 isn't even enough to say just how much of a true jerk he is😡🤦🏿♀️😮💨
Thankfully, story 1 has an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
@@banj_yoyt Thankfully, tere is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
@@Shiverwar Thankfully, tere is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
As a german, who went to a few weddings, I‘m really sorry for OP. If the theme is dress to impress OP is NTA.
it says to dress to impress (which is already the norm for every wedding to dress well) it not written outshine the bride, our African garment will 100% attract too much attention when the guest is probably mostly only euro decent German. you can impress without stealing the show of the bride and the groom IT THEIR DAY ...Sis could have done a quick google search if she was THAT worry. 🤷🏾♀
It has been so much fun watching/listening to Dabney go full unapologetically-scorched earth-straight for the jugular raging on bad parents ever since he and Nicole had Lily!
It makes my heart warm when he rages at sh*tty parents like that. And when I read story #1 for real life, my phone was practically melting from the heat from the comments eviscerating OP's husband. OP's husband is an absolute psychopath.
“Don’t yell at your wife, yell at your nutsack!”
Me: Woooo! Right on rslash! I love your rants!
Anyone who’s ever taken HS Biology knows that _the sperm_ determines the gender, NOT the egg! You get one X chromosome from mom, and an X or a Y from dad.
As soon as i heard the part at the beginning I knew Rslash was going to destroy this guy in the commentary
Absolutely one of my favorite parts of this channel
Thankfully, there is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
Story 1: Whoa, I get that he and OP had to deal with a miscarriage, but oh my god it sounds like he's still stuck in the past. He's so mad that the son he was about to get died by miscarriage that he went ballistic when all of the triplets are revealed to be daughters, blames OP, and told OP right in her face that he won't even be a truly loving parent to said daughters.
Does he even love OP, or does he only care about having a son?
Man...I hope that there will be an update on this story because that was disgusting of the husband
Stuck in the past? They literally had their baby die. People don’t get over that sort of loss quickly and most the time without needing mental health help. This bloke clearly needs help as his reaction to having 3 daughters is very obviously wrong.
He's stuck in 1600
@@Hikari-jz8yvsomeone posted an update. It's quite lengthy, but great news.
@@Hikari-jz8yvThere is an update. Tldr she moves in with her brother and BIL, who offered to support her and the triplets. She also decided to divorce the asshole and also go no contact with her mom. Brother and BIL help her move out. Ladies Bible group at church plans fundraiser to help her with the triplets. Men's Bible study group finds out about asshole's reaction and one member blew up on his sorry ass, made him cry. Asshole tries to contact OP, brother and BIL step in so she doesn't have to talk to him, and if they weren't saints enough already, they offer to PAY for asshole to go to therapy. He has yet to accept or decline.
First story: OP is not the bad person.
The husband is just short of a child abüsér.
I disagree. The husband IS a child abuser
what does "abüsér" mean? never seen that word before.
@@abiean222I think they just wrote it like that to get past censors.
he's a PSYCHO
Oh no, he is an abuser. A lot of people only think of abuse as physical, and beating (like the mother and MIL in the story) and overlook mental and emotional abuse, which he already shows he was going to do. Simply by saying "I will feed them and put a roof over their heads, but I will not love them or have any relationship with them" is him admitting he will emotionally abuse them.
Since rSlash became a dad he's unlocked the FUCKING PISSED skill lol
I love this from him tbh, he perfectly captures my rage at some of these stories😂
I hate this from him tbh, I'm trying to relax, not hear him scream in my ears 😂
@@NPC_NEWSget a emotionless text to speech channel then
@@NPC_NEWS If you think stories about emotionally abusive insane people is relaxing as long as the people reading it don't have emotional reactions to it, there's about fifty thousand other Reddit-reading channels. Pick your subreddit, pick your narrator, and/or pick your robot. Listening to a reaction channel with a narrator that's been consistently emotional for five years, also consistent with the fact that's the style that made their channel famous when that consistent thing bugs you, is a curious behavior.
@@NPC_NEWSL
Man, rSlash went all out on both stories today
This episode was just Rslash loosing his mind. 😂
You telling the husband in the triplets story that he should be yelling at his nut sack..... You are my hero 😂
Story 1: We just gonna pretend that having no relationship with your kids isn't mistreating them? Every word of that story is effed, but this line floored me.
To a degree, I was "that guy" that wanted only boys. I was a very hard man when I got out of the army. You know the story, family name, lineage and all that stuff. Pointless in the end to my kids happiness i learned of course. I had my son, and he softened me a touch. When my daughter came, I melted. She has made this hard charging infantryman with a short fuse into a tea party complete with costumes!
I was never as extreme as this dude. I'll just say, I would probably be in jail if my daughter didn't softened me up.
The king you mentioned is king Henry VIII of England. He didn't only get rid of his first two wives because they didn't give him a son but it was part of the reason. And only one of those first two was executed, for an unrelated reason. He also reigned in the early to mid 1500s.
“you shouldn’t be yelling at your pregnant wife, you should be yelling at your nutsack” i’m fkn ROLLINGGG😂😂😂
Story 2: It's because of the extra rooms. That's why they want OP to keep the couple.
Except, how will we know that they just won't shove all the responsibilities at OP? In the case that they're not even going to be responsible for the kid and treat OP like some sort of maid (in his own house btw), then they definitely gotta go.
Concerned? You take them in then. What's your excuse, relatives? Don't want to deal with the child? Unless you physically can't house two more adults and a tiny baby, or you literally have no spare money to take care of the two, what's your excuse?
'You should blame it on your nutsack!' I CHOKED 😂
I know Yugo is too old to be able to do puppybloopers but hearing that Lily is now two and a half makes me think we could get Lilybloopers soon lol.
Gross.. keep kids off of the internet
For anyone wondering about OP in the first story, they're going ahead with the divorce, are living with their brother and BIL, and have full support from their local church. They're safe and doing well, the brother/BIL are very supportive and have helped figure out a plan of action for the future, and the niece is apparently excited to have 3 new cousins.
He wouldn't love his son either. He'd have unrealistic expectations for his son and would withdraw his love when they aren't met.
Thankfully, there is an update. She's divorcing him and she and her daughters are living with her brother and his man and they have extra room and are going to help her financially until they enter daycare (BIL willpay for daycare too) and until she can find a job and save up a new home for her and the triplets. OP and her brother are going no contact with their mom . When the ex went to church, they gathered her items (including important documents) to the BIL's house. the women at the church group wondered why OP didn't show up and she told the whole story. Here's the irony: instead of blaming her and/or convincing her to stay with that monster, their church actually had her back. The pastor told her everyone in the church will support her, including him. The women held a baking sale to help her and the triplets financially. Even one of the men in the church chewed her ex out. When the ex found her and her stuff gone, he went apeshit and blew up her phone. The BIL said if he ever wants therapy for dealing with the grief of the stillborn son, BIL would offer (no word if he accepted the offer or not). He also told him to leave OP alone. So far, with her new support, her life will be better.
So for the last story, I think there was a breakdown in communication. In most European weddings, not including the cultural nuances, they tend to be like American ones. Church wedding, white for the bride etc. But OP wasn't aware of anything about the wedding so asked. This is where I think the breakdown comes into play. It seems that the older woman made the assumption that OP knew to wear something not so, for lack of a better word, attractive at the wedding so as not to take attention from the couple.
OP assumed that this meant it was going to be like an African wedding, a fashion show, and came up assuming this. So I don't think anyone is to blame except at the end when the older woman began to spread falsehoods and not ask why.
Actual Germans said that was racism
100% agreed. MOB either wanted OP to make a fool of herself or she really didn't understand that different cultures might have different customs... Additionally, I googled "african wedding" and looked at a few pictures and while the dresses are definitely gorgeous, many look like sth I'd expect people to wear at my (European) wedding, so for me it's a classic case of over-exaggeration.
Either way, I think it's silly that so many people get offended about being upstaged at their own wedding - it's YOUR wedding, you're literally the center of attention?? At the same time, people won't focus on you 100% of the time for 8hs or how long your party goes so please let them converse with each other and don't throw a tantrum over other people dressing up and enjoying themselves! -.-
Rshlashes rage at 6:20 was so fun
He's our spirit animal, when it comes to a doofus like this Dude..seriously...
Also not on topic. He never blamed the wife for having girls. He blamed her for the death of their son. Which is worse. He's not stupid, just callous mean and manipulative
The second he said that she killed their first kid he would be out of the house. marriage would be over and he would be dead to me
I believe the king you are thinking of is Henry VIII married 6 times to have a son.
"you still have to give me a sone because you killed the first one"
Instand deal braker for me and I hope this story ends in divorce woth her fighting for 100% custody. I know people scream for divorce a lot on these Reddit stories but this is one of the most clear-cut and dry cases I've ever heard. And I haven't even mentioned him breaking the table yet which I would be scared that would it be hurts me or the babies wtf?
Thank you so much for that reaction, @rslash. The husband’s idiocy merited that level of outrage.