The key part of the first story for me was that she would be overly sweet with her mother and then punish him. In other words she could control her emotions but didn't think it was worth it around her husband. He was just the punching bag. Run
Ya, I don't think she's Post-partum it sounds more like she's a manipulative narcissist. The fact she gaslit everyone into believing he was somehow the abusive one, tells me she was more then enough in her right mind to save face, she was more then enough in her right mind to listen and get help. She will return to the horrible behavior the first chance she gets. And there is little reason to believe otherwise.
I've had that depression. You do not get to pick and choose who you go off on. I went off on myself. Everyone else either got silence or the crybaby. I am so thankful to be done and gone from that part of my life. She's an abuser.
@@davidmccurdy8911 which I’m thankful he’s getting out of the marriage, baby is safe, assets are safe, and hopefully there will be no leniency for the soon to be ex
Story 1: No Rslash, the parents weren't enough. What was enough was the realization of possibly being homeless because her parents were going to kick her out if she didn't seek mental help.
Hey, don't be too rough on rslash. He's just a guy trying to help. He can't fix everyone. He at least tries, so give him some credit. Heck, he does better than me! Just be nice.
Interesting fact 1 in 6 men suffer from dv in England, there is only 37 shelters from them. There is 4,344 shelters for women. Dv against men is also more common than people think. For every 100 in men 3 are abused by their partners(reported) while it’s ever 6 in 100 for women but while it’s half in compared to reporting, male victims only get 0.85% of the support women do.
Story 1: she didn’t get help for her parent’s sake, she got help bc she was given an ultimatum. Had she not been threatened with eviction, she most definitely would’ve stayed unmedicated, followed through with the divorce and found some other poor sap to take her abuse out on. If OP would’ve taken her back, I bet you she’d stop taking her meds and the cycle would repeat itsself.
The Switch story is worse than RSlash realizes because the fact that OP can't talk about it probably means that the child was actually removed from their parents custody for some reason which makes it even more important for him to protect her from terrible people like his gf. Good job big bro!
I also feel she is going to be a terrible mom. I mean she is acting childish jealous over op over an actuactal child. If she could go this low now, she will be worse to her actuacal child later.
Story One: One of the things about self improvement is that you have to accept that sometimes, you won't be forgiven. Sometimes, you do something that can't be taken back, and all you can do is try to be better and not do that again. The fact that she's hunting for her husband's forgiveness tells me that she's not entirely doing this for herself, but also so she doesn't lose the marriage.
I think is more of her not accepting that just because she was in a hard moment of her life doesn't mean what she does in this moments won't have long lasting consequences
Interesting fact 1 in 6 men suffer from dv in England, there is only 37 shelters from them. There is 4,344 shelters for women. Dv against men is also more common than people think. For every 100 in men 3 are abused by their partners(reported) while it’s ever 6 in 100 for women but while it’s half in compared to reporting, male victims only get 0.85% of the support women do.
@@e.c.sherman4749 That's a very good point. I used to know someone who would behave very much like the wife in this story but the second that she earned the rightly deserved consequences of her actions she would go to her default not apology settings. Then she would flip out when people wouldn't accept her apologies. I explained to her that just because she says “I'm sorry” or “I apologize” doesn't mean the other people have to accept it. I told her that a changed behavior is the true apology and she was never willing to change. Even her half-assed attempts at changing were all attempts at getting validation and some unsubstantiated round of applause for trying to be a good person. I tried to drum into her head that no one was going to put her on a pedestal or be to fire her into sainthood for doing a barely reasonably good impression of a human being with manners and empathy. She was always looking for an excuse or pointing the finger or going on a litany of reasons for why she had stepped all over other people's boundaries and refused to accept the word no is a complete sentence. Then she would go on tirades about how others were not being mature or gracious by refusing to accept her apologies, up to and including cutting her off completely. I told her that they were not obligated to accept her rehearsed, insincere apologies and she had to live with that. Which, of course, led to her going off on me. Rinse and repeat. I just became her replacement emotional punching bag because she had burned through yet another relationship after abusing the person in every way possible. I finally had the epiphany that it was a toxic friendship and I always felt drained after dealing with her recurring trauma dump sessions. I realized there was never going to be any chance of reaching a compromise or her fully understanding that she couldn't treat me or anyone else like garbag then expect them to stick around. So I blocked her on everything and changed my cell phone number. This was after a very heated phone call where I ripped her to shreds, calling her out on everything she had ever done to me including but not limited to slander, libel and harassment because she was dead convinced I was talking about her when I wasn't. She wasn't that interesting. Imagine living with such an intense sense of paranoia due to a fragile ego and misplaced sense of self-value that it leads you to act like you're the star in this thing called life and everyone else was just a background extra placed to prop you up. I later heard she threw a tantrum that would have embarrassed a toddler and her husband had threatened to kick her out if she didn't shut her mouth because she went off the rails. I also later heard that her relationships with both of her now-adult children has been strained to the point that they have gone very low contact as well as she's been barred from seeing her only grandchild. If that isn't karma for being a toxic waste of space, I don't know what is.
fact that I call bullshit cause it sound more she enjoy abuse OP and worst everytime they went to the doctor or her mom, she made it out like OP was the abuse so she knew what she was doing and now she all suddenly get the help she need cause OP kick her out and her parent kick her out and now she want work on them bullshit, glad OP fully divorce her and get full custody
@stuartwalker9597 He ALWAYS goes softer on women with the Asshole scores. Like last week with the mom that tried to send her gay son to conversion camp, abused him, and nearly killed him. 4.5 yet he said multiple times that kid abusers get auto 5/5. He's a misandrist, plain and simple
agree it sound more like the wife enjoy abuse OP cause when they was alone, she abuse him and when in public she act all innocnent and when she hit OP with the coffin she try take their son, fuck no cause abuse parent 9/10 alway end up abuse the kid or worst the kid grow up being a shit as human abuse people
@@RisingRevengeance yea that the hope cause 9/10 she will abuse their son or worst teach their son to abuse people next thing you know OP get call from the school about their son bully girls
*Cheating Dad:* _[Ignores OP for his entire life]_ *OP:* _[Ignores his affair half-sister in school and refuses to work with her for class-related assignments]_ *Cheating Dad:* WHAT!? HOW DARE YOU!
In situations like this, it’s good form not to outright take things out on the affair sibling. Not their fault they were born, and they might even be nice! Otherwise, not your job to bond with them if you prefer not to, just don’t be mean to the literal affair child who can’t be blamed.
@@ramenbomberdeluxe4958 I mean all OP did was not get involved with her, he wasn't taking anything out on her. She was the one who escalated, first by obviously trying to force herself in OP's life, and later complaining when OP didn't wanted to get involved anyway, and his deadbeat father even more by claiming he was "bullying her" for not wanting to be her partner, AND DEMANDING OP TO GET A SUSPENSION; Guy literally ignored OP for most of his life, and the first time he wants to meet OP is to screw with his life because his poor daughter didn't got to be OP's partner in school works.
@@ramenbomberdeluxe4958 I agree the sister is not in the wrong. But OP shouldn't be forced to interact with a stranger if they don't want to. He wasn't mean to her, he just didn't want anything to do with her.
they bring up “if you truly loved her you’d wouldn’t leave because of things she did when not of her right mind” but A. if she truly loved him wouldn’t she not have constantly abused him to the point of her wanting to do this, and B. idk about you guys, but i WOULDNT love her anymore after all of this??
Not to mention that she was able to keep it together when her parents visited to trick them into thinking that nothing was wrong with her and OP was exaggerating or lying.
Unconditional love has exclusions like abuse for example. People need to stop making victims of abuse stick to abusers and they need to also stop shaming people for being abusive relationship relationships unable to leave. Also, let’s be honest, this woman realized she fucked up and the only reason she wants to cancel divorce proceedings is because she wants to establish custody of their child. If he comes back to her, it will be harder to take her parental rights in the future divorce proceedings.
Childish behavior: OP made an update: He dumped her, she accused him of choosing his sister over her and that she knew he would dumped her since his sister moved in, she also refused to reimbursed op for the switch saying it was an accident and no longer her problem since he doesn't want to be with her
Seriously, for me all these things he was doing for his sister were major green flags and I don’t even like kids all that much but I couldn’t imagine acting that way.
@@rebeccajesse4604 Right like I wouldn't date someone with kids personally, but if a change of circumstances like that happens I'm not going to be a butt about it and try my best to get along with their sibling. This hostility reads like she's jealous of his little sister getting attention which is just stupid. "I knew you were going to break up with me after your sister moved in so I'm going to be shitty." is just a self fulfilling prophecy.
That's actually an easy and obvious choice for me, I would choose my cute sister over a selfish and awful person like her too. OP took too long to dump her, but glad he made the right choice. Maybe it's also her fault that she has a rocky relationship with her parents. Her friend should take her in if she worried about her so much.
(Terrible wife) Leave her, OP. Don't look back. She's already proven that she can "play sweet" when she wants. And think about the worst case scenario that didn't play out: _What if you had been _*_carrying the baby_*_ when she smashed the coffee mug over your head?_ You need to consider his safety. And the worst crime: she's capable of gaslighting you and others. You do not want or need someone like that in your life.
fact I noticed that to that when they in public talk to the doctor or her mom, she act all innocent and try make OP the abuse but soon they get alone, she start abuse him, to me it sound more like she love abuse OP and she used her pregnant as excuse cause OP stuck with it for months and I bet if OP didn't had a camera, she would call the cop and lie and said OP abuse her and you know cop would believe the wife
Yeah I noticed that. I am by no means an expert in postpartum depression. But the fact that you was able to turn it on and turn it off like that doesn't speak to a mental illness. It speaks to manipulation.
Story 1: no, the reason why OP wasn't enough to get her to go to a professional is because her parents actually threatened to kick her out when she became abusive. OP acted as a concerned, compassionate partner that would not kick out a pregnant woman, and she took advantage of that.
Story 1: I work with a victim's support group and when dealing with women who have been physically abused by a significant other, the thing we tell them, obviously, is "You NEED to get out of there, like yesterday". That is crucial for the victim's safety, eben more if there's a child involved, who could a) also become a victim or b) grow up thinking that that kind of treatment is normal. Now, take a deep breath and realize that none of those things are any different, just because in this case the victim is a man and the perpetrator is a woman. Our mantra to anyone who's gotten out of an abusive relationship: Do not meet them, do not talk to them. Don't answer calls and don't open the door. If they don't leave you alone, call the police.
Story 4: I see what makes the relationship between the GF and parents so rocky. GF is obviously very jealous of anything that takes attention away from her.
That last one: Pretty fishy if someone really NEEDS to come visit. And even for that you have to make major changes. No deal. "Well in that case I will never visit you again!" "Promise?"
I love how they're like "You're being really selfish." No, YOU are. If they were selfish they would have said no to begin with not that refusing to host someone is selfish, just that a selfish person wouldn't. What's really selfish is expecting someone to completely flip their life upside down for you. You're the guest, they're opening their home to you, you're the one who is going to have to learn to live in their home during that time, not the reverse.
First Story:Having some form of depression isn’t an excuse to constantly yelling at you then physically hurting you. I understand she is going through stuff but it in no way excuses anything. Third Story:It’s not up to op to cover their siblings debt and your not heartless for not wanting to give all your savings to them. Fourth Story:You did the right thing taking your lil sister and your gf is heartless purposely destroying something your lil sister made you.
As someone who is currently pregnant and in medical school ppd and ppr are serious conditions that seriously mess with your brain. A lot of times women think they don’t need help because there brains are completely out of wack and you feel crazy and you don’t even know why but you can’t stop it. It sucks you ignore the signs because you don’t want to think anything is wrong.
@ yeah that’s called postpartum rage. It’s a mental illness. She needs help her if he wants, but she doesn’t deserve to be judged for something that she cannot help.
@@Simplyyizzyy Though what really rings my alarm bells (I am a currently pregnant woman with 0 rage issues) is the fact that she was able to hide it perfectly around others until she was forced to live with them postpartum. Like, she'd abuse OP, then when anyone else comes over, she'd be sweet as an angel, and then return to nasty behaviour. That reeks more of manipulation or resentment or something. I'm sure pregnancy has SOMETHING to do with it, but I don't think one can only blame her hormones/mental illness. She also manipulated others when confronted with video evidence to make OP look bad. To me, that really doesn't seem like someone who is just prone to mood swings or pregnancy related hormones but some deeper, underlying issues on top of PPD/PPR.
@@Windmelodie the fact that you have no rage issues is irrelevant. Every woman’s pregnancy is different. We didn’t know that I had BPD until I was pregnant because the chemicals in my brain got so unbalanced with the pregnancy that I literally went crazy and needed immediate medical help before I unalived myself and child. And I think she was showing science to other people that’s why her parents gave her an ultimatum. I feel like she was showing signs with them and they saw it. If it was resent me or anything, she would’ve been showing signs a lot earlier. I’m literally in school for psychology. This is actually a very common case and something that we study often because it’s an often overlooked scenario.
14:26 wow.. What is wrong with this "woman"?! She is jealous over an ELEVEN year old kid that had to leave THEIR PARENTS to live with their brother!!? Wow.. OP.. Just end it with her! She is NOT worth it!
Story 3: NTA. If "family should help family", and "family is more important than money", then WHY DON'T THEEEEY DO IT?! If they are SO concerned and family is more important than money, why don't THEY cough up the damn money? Honestly, nothing pisses me off more than blatant hypocrisy.
@@dracko158 Imagine if OP countered their parents by saying, "Whatever you give to my sibling, I'll match it." Let's see if they put their money where their mouths are!
And they likely use the saving for retirement excuse. Which while saving for retirement is important, by their logic giving the brother the money is more important.
Story 2: If i was OP and the Half-sister kept pushing it, I would have turn around to her, in class, with a raised voice and said "look, you are the affair child, my father divorced my mother because of yours. He is a deadbeat who has never/doesn't pay child support. I don't want to know you - go away and never talk to me" EDIT: Corrected from Step-Sister.
The only stipulation for any agreement for the two to be in joint projects is the full implementation of the agreed child support plus full running interest. It would probably bankrupt the deadbeat dad.
Also a weird thing i thought of when reading story 1 is that she’d fake her attitude and behavior when her parents were around and when she was confronted with the evidence of her abuse before this, she’d spin it to make him look bad
Story 3: well since the parents brought it up as mom and dad, they’re more obligated to help their child than a sibling. So how much are they sacrificing for the sake of family since they think they can dictate someone else’s money? Bro’s inability to be responsible with his finances is not OP’s responsibility to fix, just because he wants a quick fix does not mean he has no options, OP explained what he’s willing to do already. Anyone that says anything about it , should be responded with “ I will contribute the amount you’re willing to give”
yes! "i'll match your donation" is a fantastic come back and test. if the parents are real about "family supports family" then they'd not only jump on that, but reach out to other relatives for help. a burden shared is a burden halved after all.
Story 1: I'm a type 1 diabetic. When I get to the point of almost passing out from my bloodsugar being so low that my brain is not physically capable of thinking of almost anything other than food, I am not physically abusive. I might bump into people while staggering, but I don't throw things. There is no excuse, unless you're actively blocking my way to get sugar so I don't die, that I would even try to touch someone. There is ABSOLUTELY ZERO excuse for physical abuse. No one, having put their emotions before the SAFETY of ANYONE should expect to be around that person again. She didn't even apologize for it in the moment, her husband couldn't even break her out of it, she had to go to her mommy and daddy to be forced to have some semblance of logic.
Next to last story: run, OP. RUN! Last story: ask them why so many changes if they are only staying for a couple of weeks? That will shut them up. If you really feel you MUST have them, have them sign a "lease" with exactly the date of departure, "terms and conditions" and any bills that are expected to be paid, etc ... That will REALLY shut them up if they are looking to mooch.
That would solidify their status as tenants. It means she would have to formally evict them to get rid of them rather than calling the cops for trespassing.
As far as I’m concerned, she’s done nothing to earn that forgiveness and as far as a second chance goes, the divorce is her second chance it gives her the opportunity to find someone else and hopefully not repeat the same fuck-up and no pregnancy hormones and PPD are not excuses. They will never be.
the first time, or the second time. or any of the myriad if times op asked or pleaded for her to. she had to make the dervish and refused to she faced homelessness. she's too selfish to be safe around a child
yea it funny how OP try get her help multiple times but she refuse and all sudden her parent who threat to kick her out of the house she get help, that she only got help cause she had nowhere to go
Interesting fact 1 in 6 men suffer from dv in England, there is only 37 shelters from them. There is 4,344 shelters for women. Dv against men is also more common than people think. For every 100 in men 3 are abused by their partners(reported) while it’s ever 6 in 100 for women but while it’s half in compared to reporting, male victims only get 0.85% of the support women do.
Rslash, the first story I have to disagree with you. Not only has the husband suffered verbal and emotional abuse at the hands of his wife but then when she comes physically abusive, he kicks her out only after smashing a mug full of scalding hot coffee on his head near their baby. That's not a 4.5 score in my eyes, that's a 5/5 score
I don't think he's capable of giving a woman a full 5 points. There was a story where a child made fun of another child with cancer and the kid got 5/5. It's horrible, but keep in mind that it's still a kid and nobody got physical. But time and time again there are stories of women literally beating their families, kids and all, and they get 4 or 4.5
Why is it "selfish" and "greedy" to want to keep what you've earned through your own hard work, but not selfish or greedy to want to take the fruits of someone else's labor. I swear, nowadays people believe that if you share your meat and drink, and they share their appetite and thirst, that's fair and just.
First story. OP should tell people to flip the gender and see how they feel then. Dudes are just expected to accept physical, emotional and verbal abuse. If you're in that situation, you're not alone. Get out! Seek help.
he doesnt believe women can be abusive, so they never get the full score. if it were a MAN however, you know damn well that he'd get the full score. hes such a simp and victim blamer if the victim is a man. on more than one occasion, hes told male victims of abuse to "grow a spine." remember the time he said a grieving man who lost his father and was experiencing a holiday for the very first time without him was "needy?" you know he'd never do that for a woman.
He wasn't enough for her to seek help, because he endured the abuse. Never endure abuse. Yes, try to help, but keep your boundaries. Enduring abuse doesn't help anyone. Don't get me wrong, he isn't to blame. It's just advice if you are in a similar situation.
*First OP:* OP should've divorced his wife _well_ before she threw a coffee mug _full of hot coffee_ at his head. Good for OP for sending the letter to his lawyer and for signing the prenup. OP is NTA, and I hope he gets full custody of his son. I also hope his stbx wife continues to get help. *Second OP:* I felt kind of bad for OP's 5perm donor's daughter because she didn't have any involvement with her dad's decision to leave OP's mom for hers. But the sympathy left when she persisted in connecting with OP, thus overstepping his boundaries. OP is NTA. *Third OP:* All together now: Okay, then why don't _you_ it?! Why don't OP's parents drain their savings to help their child clear their debt? It's their job as parents to help their children, since they want to pull the "but family" card. OP is NTA. *Fourth OP:* If Megan's friend is concerned with Megan moving back with her parents, then why can't she have Megan live with her? OP is NTA, and he (or she/they) should have Megan pay for a new Switch or the damages of the sister's Switch. *Fifth OP:* OP's sister threatened not to visit OP after OP refused to change her routine to accommodate her sister and husband (who OP barely knows) whom she sprung on OP? Oh, no! Anyway... OP is NTA.
*1st Story:* Once again, a person's condition (overly hormonal pregnancy & post-partum in this case) does _not_ excuse their crappy behaviour. Like Todd Chavez said, "YOU are all the things that are wrong with you."
It always confused me how PPD was the only condition that people on here treated like it made you invulnerable to criticism. Like chronic severe depression wasn't an excuse. Neither was any other form of depression. Only PPD.
In before the notification. Story 1: N to the O. OP is not the butt hole here. If the roles were reversed, OP's ex would be doing everything she could to see him behind bars with no contact with her or their kid. Story 2: The family does deserve a 2.5 except for the DNA donor. I feel he deserves a 3.5. But that's just my opinion. Story 3: First, they're clearly trying to use OP as an ATM. Second, RSlash, you get 5/5 butt holes. That "why don't you do it" was disappointing. XD Story 4: Halfway through and I think I know why Megan and her parents were fighting. She seems like a spoiled brat. Story 5: They're probably going to scheme to get OP kicked out. Guarantee it.
OP's wife's parents were only enough for her to seek the help she needed because she realized that if her parents also kicked her out, she'd have nowhere else to go. All the help she's getting is for *herself,* not for OP or even her kid. She just doesn't wanna wind up homeless. rSlash is right, if she's allowed another chance, she could potentially harm their kid, be it now or in the future
Story 1: OP was so used to the abuse that didn't realize his wife was being phisically abusive BEFORE the coffe cup. He said it himself! She was throwing things to his chest while being asleep!
I don't know why women think they get a pass for being demanding or abusive when they get pregnant. No, your husband isn't obligated to go out at 2am to get you something. He's just as stressed, if not more so, by having to work and pay all the bills. A marriage is a two way street. Not a parent/child relationship.
Uh... you definitely have to look after your wife while she's pregnant, but with in reason. That's probably the most vulnerable most women will ever be. But definitely doesn't mean demands screaming and domestic violence are okay.
Guess the post got edited because it used to say She Hit Him Over The Head While He Was Changing The Baby I remember that part vividly because I talked on that point on another reddit channel (What I said last time) Attacked while literally changing the baby's diaper 👀 Luckily no hot coffee/shards got to the baby, And now she's demanding forgiveness?
There’s an update to the broken Nintendo Switch story - OP brought some left behind stuff of Megan’s to the friends house at her request. OP took the opportunity to go there with the stuff and dump her in person, listing the reasons that have been mounting up over that period. He asked again why she broke the switch, pointing out that his sister had done nothing to her to deserve this, and she didn’t give a good enough answer, and showed no remorse. OP is sad he can’t replace the broken switch, but it was a small price to pay for getting rid of his garbage girlfriend. Megan to me sounds like a narcissist, because I’ve heard they get jealous of another loved one in the family getting attention they don’t see them as worthy of over them, like a new baby or pet.
6:05 Dabney, the only reason why she is now seeking professional help, if after her parents threatened to kick her out, that's the only reason without that threat, she's still be an insufferable, narcissistic, karen. OP tried it the nice way, but her parents said "it's my way or the highway" and only then did she agree to theropy, because she realize the alternative is homeless because she cant get (or hold) a job with her "condition"
Story 2: When I was in school, guidance counselors were assigned either by grade, or alphabetically. I get the feeling she asked to be in OP’s classes to get to know him. The only AH is the deadbeat sperm donor. Story 4: If gf is bored while he’s at work, she should probably get a job. Then she can buy her own Switch.
We don't know ANYTHING from the other kid. What if she was being abused and was trying to compare notes with someone who she thinks knew him? What if he was hiding information and the half sibling is trying to find out the truth? This is a classic case of "Just because you're right doesn't mean you're not an AH about it."
@@wildblue0 The kid is justifying their being short with a person because of a whole different person. Maybe if they were annoyed at something other than the very EXISTENCE of them, sure. But... it's kind of hard for "How dare you exist near me" to be anything other than AH-y. It wasn't kind. It wasn't neutral. There's... really only one option left.
@@tishcarter3918 The kid was being short because they were being a pest. He doesn’t have to be besties with the walking daily reminder of his dad’s rejection. I doubt that’s healthy. He seems to coexist in her presence just fine. He doesn’t want direct contact, and the only contact they’ve had is what she’s forced. I don’t know what story you heard to think he’s been anything but mature about it.
I'm pregnant with our 3rd child, I had pretty bad PPD after our first, plenty of mood swings with every pregnancy. Never have I EVER been violent or abusive towards my husband. He should fight for full custody.
Domestic violence goes both ways, doesn't matter if the person needed mental health help, was under the influence, or sound mind. I'm glad he kept with the divorce
Story 4: OP’s gf didn’t sign up to be in a relationship looking after somebody else’s kid. There’s nothing wrong with her feeling that way; but clearly she should’ve just broken up with OP and moved out. Of course she’s selfish and narcissistic so she wanted to keep living at OP’s house because she was too arrogant to go back to live with her parents, while still viewing OP’s sister as competition. Her unwillingness to tolerate a child taking some of OP’s attention away from her makes their relationship completely untenable. What makes her an awful AH is her obvious hatred of an innocent child, and deliberately breaking that child’s prized possession when something traumatic must’ve already happened to OP’s sister to necessitate her living with him. There’s no way back from this, and OP should make the temporary separation from this vindictive gf permanent.
For the terrible wife story.. Terrifying shit! If she will smash a scalding mug of hot coffee on your head cause she's just angry... She'll do it to her own child... Truly disgusting shit...
He reads way too slow for me. This is the only channel on youtube I watch in ×1.5 speed, and sometimes ×1.75. I hope he doesn't change his reading speed because I already got it down to a science: 1. See an Rslash vid 2. Click the Rslash vid 3. Change speed to 1.5 speed 4. Enjoy
Story 2:) Even if you like them, having someone forced on you is miserable. It almost guarantees a damaged relationship (if you like/are neutral to them), or causes you to despise them (if you already didn't like them or are neutral) since people won't shut up about how you need to spend more time with them, scold you for wanting some time to yourself, etc. The more control the other person has over the situation (family/teachers on their side, etc.), the worse it gets. Dad gets 4-5/5 (noticeably higher because of all the bs he did before this scenario), SIL gets a score too (at least 1.5). Mom gets a negative score imo for not caving, and, of course, OP gets 0/5.
Here's a hot take, people who are mentally ill still have to take accountability for their actions. I've dealt with many severe MIs nearly my entire life and I've never smashed a cup into someones head. MI doesn't take away your free will. OK on the last story I'm just thinking...If it was only for a couple weeks then why couldn't the husband suck it up? And they want to OP to rearange their entire home and life for said husband. Something tells me they weren't just planning on staying a couple weeks.
@@j.j.juggernaut9709well he gave a dad 5/5 for grabbing his sons arm (19th of may this year), a 4/5 for the woman whipping an autistic child who spilled a glass of water (2 weeks ago) and 4.5/5 to the woman who abused and assaulted her gay son as well as hospitalising her husband so what’s the difference? Please explain the difference in each story
S1: I genuinely don't think it's PPD I feel like after she got pregnant she thought she had him where she wanted him and that was the real her all along. As someone in the comments pointed out her aggression was always only pointed towards him and somehow when they are alone but as soon as someone was around she turned her sweet act on to make him an unreliable witness and the one who is in the wrong. I really do feel for all male victims and I hope more awareness is spread.
The first 4 years of my relationship was great. We didn’t so much as speak a harsh word to each other. One day, she woke up a different person and the next 4 years were hell. I did all I could to be supportive, basically doing whatever I had to do to keep peace. Even that wasn’t enough. My relationship ended with me calling the cops on her because I was at my breaking point. Some months later, she had a change of heart and was trying to “fix” herself. For no apparent reason, she was angry at the world. I was her main target because she knew I loved her and would always support her, no matter how poorly she treated me. So, that made it ok? I was glad she got help, but I was done. I told her when you beat a dog, a few things can happen. He’s gonna cower and take it, get aggressive and bite, or he’s gonna run away. I wasn’t taking it anymore and to avoid future conflict, I was never coming back. Protect yourself and your child, OP.
Story 1: man I went through a similar situation with my ex and our daughter. Anything I did she’d scream at me for and after she had the baby it just got worse. Glad OP got out.
*3rd Story:* OP should tell their parents, "Whatever you give to my sibling, I'll match it." Let's see if they can both literally & metaphorically put their money where their mouths are.
What? No seriously what the fuck are you on about? Do you mean being more considerate because pregnancy is a lot of bullshit to deal with? Because I don't know of any worship and not seeing any here for this woman either. In fact seems like everyone agrees this is domestic violence and he should get far away.
First story, hormonal shifts are a B-, and I do have sympathy for someone going through that. However, things escalating to physical violence while refusing to get treatment is not excusable. He is totally within his rights to go through with the divorce. And her turn around, regardless of what spurred it on finally, is just the start. If she had gotten help earlier, maybe they'd be able to work it through together, but no one should have to endure physical violence in a relationship, especially in what should be the most intimate relationship you have in your life. And yes, even with sympathy for the post-partum depression, the child's safety comes first. I hope she continues to work through it and find some way to make it up to OP. That said, no obligation on his part to wait for her. I hope they all find a place of healing and ensure the child is raised in safety and love.
Story 1: Her behavior is disgusting. As someone who is currently almost 7 months pregnant and has suffered with severe depression for quite some time, I cannot imagine doing anything like this to my husband. Yes, I am on medication and in therapy, but even when I wasn't, I really never this horrible to him. The worst things that I have done emotionally during my pregnancy is cry because I thought I heard his feelings, cry because I was overwhelmed, and have a panic attack because I thought he was upset at me. Her behavior makes no sense to me.
responding to you in regards to the 1st story she probably was financially cornered into therapy, she doesn't sound like she was stable enough to get a job
first story op needs to press those charges. "I'm sorry I'm seeing a psychological health team" does not overcome breaking a coffee cup onto your partner. her parents just don't want to deal with her. op keeping this woman away from a vulnerable child is the right call. divorce her. she can take all the time in the world to actually get help, but she was so violent that she probably doesn't deserve a second chance until the kid is old enough to understand what treatment is acceptable from others so he doesn't get grinned into being abused. second story, NTA. her bio donor is a pos, the other girls mom is a moron, and i feel sorry for for the half sister, but the bio donor is so pathetic and abusing the half siblings in order to abuse the older daughter. hope op's mom can change op's school. preferably a private one. third story, don't give them money. they are the assholes and so are op's parents. the only people responsible for their siblings financial situation is them. and the parents are the next in line for that responsibility. go no contact.
There is only so much that can be explained by pregnancy hormones, but the fact that the wife had the presense of mind to put on a sweet victim act in front of other people to keep up appearances shows that she knew exactly what she was doing with the abuse
Story 4: This is a grown adult beefing with a child over…I guess not being the only person OP is giving attention to. Megan should just get an apartment
Story 3: I would ask the sibling to write down the list of their loans and other debts, along with what were they for, discuss details of them with the sibling if any of them are not clear and then slap this list into face of anyone calling you heartless.
Story 1: She was counting on OP's parental instincts to keep him in the abuse. One thing I've noticed with all abusers- when you try to cut contact, they'll put on an act of a reformed person, and if you don't buy it, you're abused for that- a.k.a exactly what's happening here.
I just want to point out that it is not possible to damage a Switch by simply "dropping" it. It's not an advertised feature, but all Nintendo products are designed to withstand a drop from 155cm (this is Japan, so 5'1" in America). They are also generally over-engineered as there is a TH-cam video of someone dropping their Switch out of a hot air balloon and it still working (mostly, I think one of the joycons broke). You may also recall that famous Gameboy damaged in a Gulf War bombing that still works, the point is it is a large undertaking to damage a Nintendo console.
Ugh when I was pregnant I too turned into an abusive tyrant. The entirety of my pregnancy was an entire black out, I legit remember nothing. It was horrific and I never ever want to go through it again, and I'm sure everyone around me agrees
Story 1. I have a Co-Wroker who has the same story. 4 years later they are still trying to "make it work" and he is finally realzing it will never be better. That some how the woman he loved and married mentally switched with the Baby. And now he can get custody because of all the police reports he filed on her over 4 years of documented abuse.
whats insane about the second story is that after the mother dropped the "my son's first time meeting his father shouldn't be in a school meeting where he berates him for not wanting to spend time with his affair sister" bomb the principal had to be like "ok, whatever this meeting is about, I do not like this father and Im already 100% on the mother's side"
Makes total sense that the dad would show up to scold OP for not doing what his daughter wants. His daughter has the same sense of entitlement. Only what they want matters.
The key part of the first story for me was that she would be overly sweet with her mother and then punish him. In other words she could control her emotions but didn't think it was worth it around her husband. He was just the punching bag. Run
Ya, I don't think she's Post-partum it sounds more like she's a manipulative narcissist. The fact she gaslit everyone into believing he was somehow the abusive one, tells me she was more then enough in her right mind to save face, she was more then enough in her right mind to listen and get help.
She will return to the horrible behavior the first chance she gets. And there is little reason to believe otherwise.
She needs charged with assault. 😮
Which not only am I glad he’s ending the marriage but that the judge sees the truth and the wife gets no sympathy just because she’s a woman.
I've had that depression. You do not get to pick and choose who you go off on. I went off on myself. Everyone else either got silence or the crybaby. I am so thankful to be done and gone from that part of my life. She's an abuser.
@@davidmccurdy8911 which I’m thankful he’s getting out of the marriage, baby is safe, assets are safe, and hopefully there will be no leniency for the soon to be ex
Story 1: No Rslash, the parents weren't enough. What was enough was the realization of possibly being homeless because her parents were going to kick her out if she didn't seek mental help.
It's like she finally realized that actions have consequences. 😆
That is what I'm saying.
And being away from her baby so she has no leverage
Hey, don't be too rough on rslash. He's just a guy trying to help. He can't fix everyone. He at least tries, so give him some credit. Heck, he does better than me! Just be nice.
Interesting fact 1 in 6 men suffer from dv in England, there is only 37 shelters from them. There is 4,344 shelters for women. Dv against men is also more common than people think. For every 100 in men 3 are abused by their partners(reported) while it’s ever 6 in 100 for women but while it’s half in compared to reporting, male victims only get 0.85% of the support women do.
Story 1: she didn’t get help for her parent’s sake, she got help bc she was given an ultimatum. Had she not been threatened with eviction, she most definitely would’ve stayed unmedicated, followed through with the divorce and found some other poor sap to take her abuse out on. If OP would’ve taken her back, I bet you she’d stop taking her meds and the cycle would repeat itsself.
The Switch story is worse than RSlash realizes because the fact that OP can't talk about it probably means that the child was actually removed from their parents custody for some reason which makes it even more important for him to protect her from terrible people like his gf. Good job big bro!
@@jcfreak2007 Nanako: Big Bro?
I hope OP can take the gf to small claims and make her reimburse him for the Switch.
The gf sounded jealous of the sister. Like what grown adult gets jealous of their BF's KID sister?
@@kawliga9890and a kid sister whose basically an orphan? Did she really expect OP to let her go into the system? Wait. Yeah I bet she did.
I also feel she is going to be a terrible mom. I mean she is acting childish jealous over op over an actuactal child. If she could go this low now, she will be worse to her actuacal child later.
Story One: One of the things about self improvement is that you have to accept that sometimes, you won't be forgiven. Sometimes, you do something that can't be taken back, and all you can do is try to be better and not do that again. The fact that she's hunting for her husband's forgiveness tells me that she's not entirely doing this for herself, but also so she doesn't lose the marriage.
I think is more of her not accepting that just because she was in a hard moment of her life doesn't mean what she does in this moments won't have long lasting consequences
Interesting fact 1 in 6 men suffer from dv in England, there is only 37 shelters from them. There is 4,344 shelters for women. Dv against men is also more common than people think. For every 100 in men 3 are abused by their partners(reported) while it’s ever 6 in 100 for women but while it’s half in compared to reporting, male victims only get 0.85% of the support women do.
She's a wannabe victim, move on man they never change, they always find or make a reason
@@e.c.sherman4749 That's a very good point. I used to know someone who would behave very much like the wife in this story but the second that she earned the rightly deserved consequences of her actions she would go to her default not apology settings. Then she would flip out when people wouldn't accept her apologies.
I explained to her that just because she says “I'm sorry” or “I apologize” doesn't mean the other people have to accept it. I told her that a changed behavior is the true apology and she was never willing to change. Even her half-assed attempts at changing were all attempts at getting validation and some unsubstantiated round of applause for trying to be a good person. I tried to drum into her head that no one was going to put her on a pedestal or be to fire her into sainthood for doing a barely reasonably good impression of a human being with manners and empathy. She was always looking for an excuse or pointing the finger or going on a litany of reasons for why she had stepped all over other people's boundaries and refused to accept the word no is a complete sentence.
Then she would go on tirades about how others were not being mature or gracious by refusing to accept her apologies, up to and including cutting her off completely. I told her that they were not obligated to accept her rehearsed, insincere apologies and she had to live with that. Which, of course, led to her going off on me. Rinse and repeat. I just became her replacement emotional punching bag because she had burned through yet another relationship after abusing the person in every way possible. I finally had the epiphany that it was a toxic friendship and I always felt drained after dealing with her recurring trauma dump sessions. I realized there was never going to be any chance of reaching a compromise or her fully understanding that she couldn't treat me or anyone else like garbag then expect them to stick around.
So I blocked her on everything and changed my cell phone number. This was after a very heated phone call where I ripped her to shreds, calling her out on everything she had ever done to me including but not limited to slander, libel and harassment because she was dead convinced I was talking about her when I wasn't. She wasn't that interesting. Imagine living with such an intense sense of paranoia due to a fragile ego and misplaced sense of self-value that it leads you to act like you're the star in this thing called life and everyone else was just a background extra placed to prop you up. I later heard she threw a tantrum that would have embarrassed a toddler and her husband had threatened to kick her out if she didn't shut her mouth because she went off the rails.
I also later heard that her relationships with both of her now-adult children has been strained to the point that they have gone very low contact as well as she's been barred from seeing her only grandchild. If that isn't karma for being a toxic waste of space, I don't know what is.
She just wants the security of his income, house and the like.
The curb is that way ->
Wife: is abusive
Husband: *files divorce again*
Well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of your own actions.
fact that I call bullshit cause it sound more she enjoy abuse OP and worst everytime they went to the doctor or her mom, she made it out like OP was the abuse so she knew what she was doing and now she all suddenly get the help she need cause OP kick her out and her parent kick her out and now she want work on them bullshit, glad OP fully divorce her and get full custody
@@SoldierSpiderx Yeah hormones do not cause you to be selectively abusive to one person and conveniently hide it from everyone else.
@@SoldierSpiderxexactly!! Someone who has mental struggles post partum etc doesn't change her attitude so ppl couldn't witness it
I also want to know why it isn’t 5/5 she nearly killed him
@stuartwalker9597 He ALWAYS goes softer on women with the Asshole scores. Like last week with the mom that tried to send her gay son to conversion camp, abused him, and nearly killed him. 4.5 yet he said multiple times that kid abusers get auto 5/5.
He's a misandrist, plain and simple
The first story really is "Damned if I do, damned if I don't." I genuinely worry for the child.
I worry the kid isn’t his either.
agree it sound more like the wife enjoy abuse OP cause when they was alone, she abuse him and when in public she act all innocnent and when she hit OP with the coffin she try take their son, fuck no cause abuse parent 9/10 alway end up abuse the kid or worst the kid grow up being a shit as human abuse people
Sounds like he's certain he gets full custody so the kid should hopefully be fine
@@RisingRevengeance yea that the hope cause 9/10 she will abuse their son or worst teach their son to abuse people next thing you know OP get call from the school about their son bully girls
@@RobDaCajun I swear, her being a domestic abuser doesn't mean she's cheated dude. The switch even happened after she got pregnant.
*Cheating Dad:* _[Ignores OP for his entire life]_
*OP:* _[Ignores his affair half-sister in school and refuses to work with her for class-related assignments]_
*Cheating Dad:* WHAT!? HOW DARE YOU!
In situations like this, it’s good form not to outright take things out on the affair sibling. Not their fault they were born, and they might even be nice!
Otherwise, not your job to bond with them if you prefer not to, just don’t be mean to the literal affair child who can’t be blamed.
@@ramenbomberdeluxe4958 I mean all OP did was not get involved with her, he wasn't taking anything out on her. She was the one who escalated, first by obviously trying to force herself in OP's life, and later complaining when OP didn't wanted to get involved anyway, and his deadbeat father even more by claiming he was "bullying her" for not wanting to be her partner, AND DEMANDING OP TO GET A SUSPENSION;
Guy literally ignored OP for most of his life, and the first time he wants to meet OP is to screw with his life because his poor daughter didn't got to be OP's partner in school works.
OP: I LEARNED IT FROM YOU, DAD!
@@TimeLady8 🎵 And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
🎵 Little boy blue and the man in the moon
@@ramenbomberdeluxe4958 I agree the sister is not in the wrong. But OP shouldn't be forced to interact with a stranger if they don't want to. He wasn't mean to her, he just didn't want anything to do with her.
they bring up “if you truly loved her you’d wouldn’t leave because of things she did when not of her right mind” but A. if she truly loved him wouldn’t she not have constantly abused him to the point of her wanting to do this, and B. idk about you guys, but i WOULDNT love her anymore after all of this??
Not to mention that she was able to keep it together when her parents visited to trick them into thinking that nothing was wrong with her and OP was exaggerating or lying.
I don't buy that she was not in her right mind she was lucid enough to hide the abuse around others and act nice
Having understanding for mental health does not extend to being afraid for your safety.
The parents just don't want her at their house 😂
Unconditional love has exclusions like abuse for example. People need to stop making victims of abuse stick to abusers and they need to also stop shaming people for being abusive relationship relationships unable to leave.
Also, let’s be honest, this woman realized she fucked up and the only reason she wants to cancel divorce proceedings is because she wants to establish custody of their child. If he comes back to her, it will be harder to take her parental rights in the future divorce proceedings.
Childish behavior: OP made an update: He dumped her, she accused him of choosing his sister over her and that she knew he would dumped her since his sister moved in, she also refused to reimbursed op for the switch saying it was an accident and no longer her problem since he doesn't want to be with her
Seriously, for me all these things he was doing for his sister were major green flags and I don’t even like kids all that much but I couldn’t imagine acting that way.
@@rebeccajesse4604 Kindness should be a green flag. The ex girlfriend just sounds like a horrible and selfish person.
He needs to take her to small claims court for the switch.
@@rebeccajesse4604 Right like I wouldn't date someone with kids personally, but if a change of circumstances like that happens I'm not going to be a butt about it and try my best to get along with their sibling. This hostility reads like she's jealous of his little sister getting attention which is just stupid.
"I knew you were going to break up with me after your sister moved in so I'm going to be shitty." is just a self fulfilling prophecy.
That's actually an easy and obvious choice for me, I would choose my cute sister over a selfish and awful person like her too. OP took too long to dump her, but glad he made the right choice. Maybe it's also her fault that she has a rocky relationship with her parents. Her friend should take her in if she worried about her so much.
(Terrible wife) Leave her, OP. Don't look back. She's already proven that she can "play sweet" when she wants. And think about the worst case scenario that didn't play out: _What if you had been _*_carrying the baby_*_ when she smashed the coffee mug over your head?_ You need to consider his safety. And the worst crime: she's capable of gaslighting you and others. You do not want or need someone like that in your life.
fact I noticed that to that when they in public talk to the doctor or her mom, she act all innocent and try make OP the abuse but soon they get alone, she start abuse him, to me it sound more like she love abuse OP and she used her pregnant as excuse cause OP stuck with it for months and I bet if OP didn't had a camera, she would call the cop and lie and said OP abuse her and you know cop would believe the wife
Yeah I noticed that. I am by no means an expert in postpartum depression. But the fact that you was able to turn it on and turn it off like that doesn't speak to a mental illness. It speaks to manipulation.
Story 1: no, the reason why OP wasn't enough to get her to go to a professional is because her parents actually threatened to kick her out when she became abusive. OP acted as a concerned, compassionate partner that would not kick out a pregnant woman, and she took advantage of that.
Story 1: I work with a victim's support group and when dealing with women who have been physically abused by a significant other, the thing we tell them, obviously, is "You NEED to get out of there, like yesterday". That is crucial for the victim's safety, eben more if there's a child involved, who could a) also become a victim or b) grow up thinking that that kind of treatment is normal. Now, take a deep breath and realize that none of those things are any different, just because in this case the victim is a man and the perpetrator is a woman. Our mantra to anyone who's gotten out of an abusive relationship: Do not meet them, do not talk to them. Don't answer calls and don't open the door. If they don't leave you alone, call the police.
He Said it! He Said it! "Why Don't THEY DO IT"! I heard him say it. He's really good at saying that too.
And I can tell very early on when he’ll say it. I’m Pavlov’s dog about this
Story 4: I see what makes the relationship between the GF and parents so rocky. GF is obviously very jealous of anything that takes attention away from her.
Not only jealous but also very entitled or spoiled. My guess, her parents started parent just now and she can't handdle a "no"
The girlfriend can go get an apartment. The sister can't. Adults who have a grudge with kids are pathetic.
Sounds like girlfriend doesn't work! She needs to grow up and take responsibility for herself.
@@fdm2155I couldn’t agree more
I wonder why Megan had an issue with her parents. 🤔
@@condorboss3339 Who knows?
@@fdm2155which I bet he s the real rift between her and her parents. OP is just a starter for her trophy wife plan
That last one: Pretty fishy if someone really NEEDS to come visit. And even for that you have to make major changes. No deal.
"Well in that case I will never visit you again!"
"Promise?"
And if one of them works remotely and plans to do so, it’s not a vacation
I love how they're like "You're being really selfish."
No, YOU are. If they were selfish they would have said no to begin with not that refusing to host someone is selfish, just that a selfish person wouldn't. What's really selfish is expecting someone to completely flip their life upside down for you. You're the guest, they're opening their home to you, you're the one who is going to have to learn to live in their home during that time, not the reverse.
First Story:Having some form of depression isn’t an excuse to constantly yelling at you then physically hurting you. I understand she is going through stuff but it in no way excuses anything. Third Story:It’s not up to op to cover their siblings debt and your not heartless for not wanting to give all your savings to them. Fourth Story:You did the right thing taking your lil sister and your gf is heartless purposely destroying something your lil sister made you.
As someone who is currently pregnant and in medical school ppd and ppr are serious conditions that seriously mess with your brain. A lot of times women think they don’t need help because there brains are completely out of wack and you feel crazy and you don’t even know why but you can’t stop it. It sucks you ignore the signs because you don’t want to think anything is wrong.
@@Simplyyizzyystill she nearly unalived him
@ yeah that’s called postpartum rage. It’s a mental illness. She needs help her if he wants, but she doesn’t deserve to be judged for something that she cannot help.
@@Simplyyizzyy Though what really rings my alarm bells (I am a currently pregnant woman with 0 rage issues) is the fact that she was able to hide it perfectly around others until she was forced to live with them postpartum. Like, she'd abuse OP, then when anyone else comes over, she'd be sweet as an angel, and then return to nasty behaviour. That reeks more of manipulation or resentment or something. I'm sure pregnancy has SOMETHING to do with it, but I don't think one can only blame her hormones/mental illness. She also manipulated others when confronted with video evidence to make OP look bad. To me, that really doesn't seem like someone who is just prone to mood swings or pregnancy related hormones but some deeper, underlying issues on top of PPD/PPR.
@@Windmelodie the fact that you have no rage issues is irrelevant. Every woman’s pregnancy is different. We didn’t know that I had BPD until I was pregnant because the chemicals in my brain got so unbalanced with the pregnancy that I literally went crazy and needed immediate medical help before I unalived myself and child. And I think she was showing science to other people that’s why her parents gave her an ultimatum. I feel like she was showing signs with them and they saw it. If it was resent me or anything, she would’ve been showing signs a lot earlier. I’m literally in school for psychology. This is actually a very common case and something that we study often because it’s an often overlooked scenario.
14:26 wow.. What is wrong with this "woman"?! She is jealous over an ELEVEN year old kid that had to leave THEIR PARENTS to live with their brother!!? Wow.. OP.. Just end it with her! She is NOT worth it!
Story 3: NTA. If "family should help family", and "family is more important than money", then WHY DON'T THEEEEY DO IT?! If they are SO concerned and family is more important than money, why don't THEY cough up the damn money? Honestly, nothing pisses me off more than blatant hypocrisy.
@@dracko158 Imagine if OP countered their parents by saying, "Whatever you give to my sibling, I'll match it." Let's see if they put their money where their mouths are!
I'll bet the parents are just as spendthrift as the sibling.
And they likely use the saving for retirement excuse. Which while saving for retirement is important, by their logic giving the brother the money is more important.
Story 2: If i was OP and the Half-sister kept pushing it, I would have turn around to her, in class, with a raised voice and said "look, you are the affair child, my father divorced my mother because of yours. He is a deadbeat who has never/doesn't pay child support. I don't want to know you - go away and never talk to me"
EDIT: Corrected from Step-Sister.
HALF-sister.
The only stipulation for any agreement for the two to be in joint projects is the full implementation of the agreed child support plus full running interest. It would probably bankrupt the deadbeat dad.
Problem is that I see her crying victim again
@@lorilancaster5917 I mean her crying from that wouldn't be crying victim, that would probably be genuinely upsetting.
@@shadenox8164 all the previous confrontations resulted in her crying and acting like the victim. I also wonder how her grades are compared to OPs?
Also a weird thing i thought of when reading story 1 is that she’d fake her attitude and behavior when her parents were around and when she was confronted with the evidence of her abuse before this, she’d spin it to make him look bad
Yeah, for someone “not in her right mind” she was sure pretty good at manipulating the situation.
Story 3: well since the parents brought it up as mom and dad, they’re more obligated to help their child than a sibling. So how much are they sacrificing for the sake of family since they think they can dictate someone else’s money? Bro’s inability to be responsible with his finances is not OP’s responsibility to fix, just because he wants a quick fix does not mean he has no options, OP explained what he’s willing to do already.
Anyone that says anything about it , should be responded with “ I will contribute the amount you’re willing to give”
yes! "i'll match your donation" is a fantastic come back and test. if the parents are real about "family supports family" then they'd not only jump on that, but reach out to other relatives for help. a burden shared is a burden halved after all.
How often do l make jokes about chemistry? Periodically.
That joke made me go He He!
Wanna hear a joke about potassium?
K.
Haha! Nice!
Dam it all the good chemistry jokes Argon
Two scientists walk into a restaurant. The first one says "I'll have H2O." The second says "I'll have H2O2." The second one dies.
Story 1: I'm a type 1 diabetic. When I get to the point of almost passing out from my bloodsugar being so low that my brain is not physically capable of thinking of almost anything other than food, I am not physically abusive. I might bump into people while staggering, but I don't throw things.
There is no excuse, unless you're actively blocking my way to get sugar so I don't die, that I would even try to touch someone.
There is ABSOLUTELY ZERO excuse for physical abuse. No one, having put their emotions before the SAFETY of ANYONE should expect to be around that person again. She didn't even apologize for it in the moment, her husband couldn't even break her out of it, she had to go to her mommy and daddy to be forced to have some semblance of logic.
Next to last story: run, OP. RUN!
Last story: ask them why so many changes if they are only staying for a couple of weeks? That will shut them up. If you really feel you MUST have them, have them sign a "lease" with exactly the date of departure, "terms and conditions" and any bills that are expected to be paid, etc ... That will REALLY shut them up if they are looking to mooch.
That would solidify their status as tenants. It means she would have to formally evict them to get rid of them rather than calling the cops for trespassing.
It definitely sounded like sister and husband have been kicked out of their previous abode and want to move in with OP for forever
As far as I’m concerned, she’s done nothing to earn that forgiveness and as far as a second chance goes, the divorce is her second chance it gives her the opportunity to find someone else and hopefully not repeat the same fuck-up and no pregnancy hormones and PPD are not excuses. They will never be.
Story 3: oh, family is that important? THEN YOU DO IT!!!
And yes, you read it in rSlash's voice.
Get out of my head! 😵💫
Yes!!! 😂
She should’ve got that help when she was asked to the first time. Her getting help now is too little too late.
the first time, or the second time. or any of the myriad if times op asked or pleaded for her to. she had to make the dervish and refused to she faced homelessness. she's too selfish to be safe around a child
yea it funny how OP try get her help multiple times but she refuse and all sudden her parent who threat to kick her out of the house she get help, that she only got help cause she had nowhere to go
Interesting fact 1 in 6 men suffer from dv in England, there is only 37 shelters from them. There is 4,344 shelters for women. Dv against men is also more common than people think. For every 100 in men 3 are abused by their partners(reported) while it’s ever 6 in 100 for women but while it’s half in compared to reporting, male victims only get 0.85% of the support women do.
Rslash, the first story I have to disagree with you. Not only has the husband suffered verbal and emotional abuse at the hands of his wife but then when she comes physically abusive, he kicks her out only after smashing a mug full of scalding hot coffee on his head near their baby. That's not a 4.5 score in my eyes, that's a 5/5 score
Prime example of dv. Stress from pregnancy, stress from work, etc are no excuse, ever, to be violent towards anyone, let alone your partner.
And she’s showing no evidence of learning and atoning. She wants her baby and man servant back
He tends to save 5s for like abusing children.
I don't think he's capable of giving a woman a full 5 points.
There was a story where a child made fun of another child with cancer and the kid got 5/5. It's horrible, but keep in mind that it's still a kid and nobody got physical.
But time and time again there are stories of women literally beating their families, kids and all, and they get 4 or 4.5
@@megaspithes a slmp
Why is it "selfish" and "greedy" to want to keep what you've earned through your own hard work, but not selfish or greedy to want to take the fruits of someone else's labor. I swear, nowadays people believe that if you share your meat and drink, and they share their appetite and thirst, that's fair and just.
Story 4: Imagine being a grown woman bullying an 11 year old? What a garbage person.
First story.
OP should tell people to flip the gender and see how they feel then.
Dudes are just expected to accept physical, emotional and verbal abuse.
If you're in that situation, you're not alone. Get out! Seek help.
Ah but reddit 😂
As a new mom who suffered from PPD, it is not an excuse for abuse.
If anyone wants to defend the woman in the first story, keep that same energy for alcoholics, cause theyre "not in their right mind".
They won't
@@Diamondr11Blue oh. I know.
Story one. Dabney. Buddy. 5/5. Not 4.5. be fair.
I'm surprised he gave the woman a score at all and didn't blame the guy somehow.
he did the EXACT SAME THING a couple episodes ago😭
Was a dv story a few months ago, man was the perpetrator he got 5 why doesn’t she?
he doesnt believe women can be abusive, so they never get the full score. if it were a MAN however, you know damn well that he'd get the full score. hes such a simp and victim blamer if the victim is a man. on more than one occasion, hes told male victims of abuse to "grow a spine." remember the time he said a grieving man who lost his father and was experiencing a holiday for the very first time without him was "needy?" you know he'd never do that for a woman.
@@bbasilgaming exactly. He most likely also believes the BS that you should ALWAYS believe the woman if she claims to have been assaulted.
He wasn't enough for her to seek help, because he endured the abuse. Never endure abuse. Yes, try to help, but keep your boundaries. Enduring abuse doesn't help anyone.
Don't get me wrong, he isn't to blame. It's just advice if you are in a similar situation.
*First OP:* OP should've divorced his wife _well_ before she threw a coffee mug _full of hot coffee_ at his head. Good for OP for sending the letter to his lawyer and for signing the prenup. OP is NTA, and I hope he gets full custody of his son. I also hope his stbx wife continues to get help.
*Second OP:* I felt kind of bad for OP's 5perm donor's daughter because she didn't have any involvement with her dad's decision to leave OP's mom for hers. But the sympathy left when she persisted in connecting with OP, thus overstepping his boundaries. OP is NTA.
*Third OP:* All together now: Okay, then why don't _you_ it?! Why don't OP's parents drain their savings to help their child clear their debt? It's their job as parents to help their children, since they want to pull the "but family" card. OP is NTA.
*Fourth OP:* If Megan's friend is concerned with Megan moving back with her parents, then why can't she have Megan live with her? OP is NTA, and he (or she/they) should have Megan pay for a new Switch or the damages of the sister's Switch.
*Fifth OP:* OP's sister threatened not to visit OP after OP refused to change her routine to accommodate her sister and husband (who OP barely knows) whom she sprung on OP? Oh, no! Anyway... OP is NTA.
*1st Story:* Once again, a person's condition (overly hormonal pregnancy & post-partum in this case) does _not_ excuse their crappy behaviour. Like Todd Chavez said, "YOU are all the things that are wrong with you."
It always confused me how PPD was the only condition that people on here treated like it made you invulnerable to criticism.
Like chronic severe depression wasn't an excuse. Neither was any other form of depression. Only PPD.
What she went through? Plenty of women get pregnant without becoming monsters… that’s not enough of an excuse
Totally. Same with weddings. Huge red flag when someone is abusive then too ('bridezillas')
In before the notification.
Story 1: N to the O. OP is not the butt hole here. If the roles were reversed, OP's ex would be doing everything she could to see him behind bars with no contact with her or their kid.
Story 2: The family does deserve a 2.5 except for the DNA donor. I feel he deserves a 3.5. But that's just my opinion.
Story 3: First, they're clearly trying to use OP as an ATM.
Second, RSlash, you get 5/5 butt holes. That "why don't you do it" was disappointing. XD
Story 4: Halfway through and I think I know why Megan and her parents were fighting. She seems like a spoiled brat.
Story 5: They're probably going to scheme to get OP kicked out. Guarantee it.
OP's wife's parents were only enough for her to seek the help she needed because she realized that if her parents also kicked her out, she'd have nowhere else to go. All the help she's getting is for *herself,* not for OP or even her kid. She just doesn't wanna wind up homeless. rSlash is right, if she's allowed another chance, she could potentially harm their kid, be it now or in the future
Story 1:The only good thing wife did here was preparing the divorce papers,My deepest condolences to anyone who deals with such monsters
NTA at all
Story 1: OP was so used to the abuse that didn't realize his wife was being phisically abusive BEFORE the coffe cup. He said it himself! She was throwing things to his chest while being asleep!
OP: Your honor, the wife attacked my client because he couldn't break into Chick-fil-A on a Sunday
Judge: Judgment for the defendant
I don't know why women think they get a pass for being demanding or abusive when they get pregnant. No, your husband isn't obligated to go out at 2am to get you something. He's just as stressed, if not more so, by having to work and pay all the bills. A marriage is a two way street. Not a parent/child relationship.
Uh... you definitely have to look after your wife while she's pregnant, but with in reason. That's probably the most vulnerable most women will ever be. But definitely doesn't mean demands screaming and domestic violence are okay.
Guess the post got edited because it used to say She Hit Him Over The Head While He Was Changing The Baby
I remember that part vividly because I talked on that point on another reddit channel
(What I said last time) Attacked while literally changing the baby's diaper 👀 Luckily no hot coffee/shards got to the baby, And now she's demanding forgiveness?
There’s an update to the broken Nintendo Switch story - OP brought some left behind stuff of Megan’s to the friends house at her request. OP took the opportunity to go there with the stuff and dump her in person, listing the reasons that have been mounting up over that period. He asked again why she broke the switch, pointing out that his sister had done nothing to her to deserve this, and she didn’t give a good enough answer, and showed no remorse. OP is sad he can’t replace the broken switch, but it was a small price to pay for getting rid of his garbage girlfriend. Megan to me sounds like a narcissist, because I’ve heard they get jealous of another loved one in the family getting attention they don’t see them as worthy of over them, like a new baby or pet.
6:05 Dabney, the only reason why she is now seeking professional help, if after her parents threatened to kick her out, that's the only reason without that threat, she's still be an insufferable, narcissistic, karen. OP tried it the nice way, but her parents said "it's my way or the highway" and only then did she agree to theropy, because she realize the alternative is homeless because she cant get (or hold) a job with her "condition"
Ah yes rslash at it again, he gave a man who was participating in DV 5/5 but the woman once again doesn’t get 5/5, she nearly unalived him
Dabney wont change.
Story one
When your wife is abusive that’s _not_ a medical problem
Story 2: When I was in school, guidance counselors were assigned either by grade, or alphabetically. I get the feeling she asked to be in OP’s classes to get to know him. The only AH is the deadbeat sperm donor.
Story 4: If gf is bored while he’s at work, she should probably get a job. Then she can buy her own Switch.
We don't know ANYTHING from the other kid. What if she was being abused and was trying to compare notes with someone who she thinks knew him? What if he was hiding information and the half sibling is trying to find out the truth? This is a classic case of "Just because you're right doesn't mean you're not an AH about it."
@ Sure, the parents may be spinning tales about the evil woman keeping dad’s son away. Anything is possible. I still don’t think the kid is the AH.
@@wildblue0 The kid is justifying their being short with a person because of a whole different person. Maybe if they were annoyed at something other than the very EXISTENCE of them, sure. But... it's kind of hard for "How dare you exist near me" to be anything other than AH-y. It wasn't kind. It wasn't neutral. There's... really only one option left.
@@tishcarter3918 The kid was being short because they were being a pest. He doesn’t have to be besties with the walking daily reminder of his dad’s rejection. I doubt that’s healthy. He seems to coexist in her presence just fine. He doesn’t want direct contact, and the only contact they’ve had is what she’s forced. I don’t know what story you heard to think he’s been anything but mature about it.
Story 3, as someone in debt. It's not the sibling's problem.
I'm pregnant with our 3rd child, I had pretty bad PPD after our first, plenty of mood swings with every pregnancy. Never have I EVER been violent or abusive towards my husband. He should fight for full custody.
(11:28) Ahhhh, he said the thing! XD
Aahhh, I called it at 10:57 and I came to the comments a few seconds before to see if anyone else would say anything. :D
Domestic violence goes both ways, doesn't matter if the person needed mental health help, was under the influence, or sound mind. I'm glad he kept with the divorce
1st OP had better get a paternity test. Given the timing of the wife’s change in behavior, Chances are greater than 50% that that’s not his kid.
Story 4: OP’s gf didn’t sign up to be in a relationship looking after somebody else’s kid. There’s nothing wrong with her feeling that way; but clearly she should’ve just broken up with OP and moved out. Of course she’s selfish and narcissistic so she wanted to keep living at OP’s house because she was too arrogant to go back to live with her parents, while still viewing OP’s sister as competition.
Her unwillingness to tolerate a child taking some of OP’s attention away from her makes their relationship completely untenable. What makes her an awful AH is her obvious hatred of an innocent child, and deliberately breaking that child’s prized possession when something traumatic must’ve already happened to OP’s sister to necessitate her living with him. There’s no way back from this, and OP should make the temporary separation from this vindictive gf permanent.
How on earth could you ever trust her with the baby? I’d keep going with the divorce too
For the terrible wife story..
Terrifying shit!
If she will smash a scalding mug of hot coffee on your head cause she's just angry...
She'll do it to her own child...
Truly disgusting shit...
Rslash: "5/5 is only for literal abusers"
Literal abuser: *is female*
Rslash: "4.5/5"
Nailed it
Sllllmp
He does not think women can actually be abu$ers. He just won’t take them as seriously as he would a man 🤣🤣
Your voice is so steady that I can listen to this at 1.25 speed and it still sounds good
Try 2x speed!
He reads way too slow for me. This is the only channel on youtube I watch in ×1.5 speed, and sometimes ×1.75. I hope he doesn't change his reading speed because I already got it down to a science:
1. See an Rslash vid
2. Click the Rslash vid
3. Change speed to 1.5 speed
4. Enjoy
Story 2:) Even if you like them, having someone forced on you is miserable. It almost guarantees a damaged relationship (if you like/are neutral to them), or causes you to despise them (if you already didn't like them or are neutral) since people won't shut up about how you need to spend more time with them, scold you for wanting some time to yourself, etc.
The more control the other person has over the situation (family/teachers on their side, etc.), the worse it gets.
Dad gets 4-5/5 (noticeably higher because of all the bs he did before this scenario), SIL gets a score too (at least 1.5).
Mom gets a negative score imo for not caving, and, of course, OP gets 0/5.
Here's a hot take, people who are mentally ill still have to take accountability for their actions. I've dealt with many severe MIs nearly my entire life and I've never smashed a cup into someones head. MI doesn't take away your free will. OK on the last story I'm just thinking...If it was only for a couple weeks then why couldn't the husband suck it up? And they want to OP to rearange their entire home and life for said husband. Something tells me they weren't just planning on staying a couple weeks.
11:02 THEN YOU PAY FOR IT!
THEN YOUUUUUUUUU DO IT!
OP could also agree to match whatever their parents contribute. Force them to put their money where their mouths are.
Why do i feel like if the roles were reversed, OP1 would have got a full 5?
Rslash is a simp
@spiritwolf3103 fr
@@spiritwolf3103the opposite actually, he isn’t taking women seriously
@@j.j.juggernaut9709well he gave a dad 5/5 for grabbing his sons arm (19th of may this year), a 4/5 for the woman whipping an autistic child who spilled a glass of water (2 weeks ago) and 4.5/5 to the woman who abused and assaulted her gay son as well as hospitalising her husband so what’s the difference? Please explain the difference in each story
Story 1: hes a monster for not know what she went through? What about what he went through?
Lol reddit
She clearly knows what shes doing if she was acting sweet infront of her mother
Abusers have no right to force apologies. It's all up to the victim to decide whether or not to accept an apology.
S1: I genuinely don't think it's PPD I feel like after she got pregnant she thought she had him where she wanted him and that was the real her all along. As someone in the comments pointed out her aggression was always only pointed towards him and somehow when they are alone but as soon as someone was around she turned her sweet act on to make him an unreliable witness and the one who is in the wrong. I really do feel for all male victims and I hope more awareness is spread.
The first 4 years of my relationship was great. We didn’t so much as speak a harsh word to each other. One day, she woke up a different person and the next 4 years were hell. I did all I could to be supportive, basically doing whatever I had to do to keep peace. Even that wasn’t enough. My relationship ended with me calling the cops on her because I was at my breaking point. Some months later, she had a change of heart and was trying to “fix” herself. For no apparent reason, she was angry at the world. I was her main target because she knew I loved her and would always support her, no matter how poorly she treated me. So, that made it ok? I was glad she got help, but I was done. I told her when you beat a dog, a few things can happen. He’s gonna cower and take it, get aggressive and bite, or he’s gonna run away. I wasn’t taking it anymore and to avoid future conflict, I was never coming back. Protect yourself and your child, OP.
Story 1: man I went through a similar situation with my ex and our daughter. Anything I did she’d scream at me for and after she had the baby it just got worse. Glad OP got out.
*3rd Story:* OP should tell their parents, "Whatever you give to my sibling, I'll match it." Let's see if they can both literally & metaphorically put their money where their mouths are.
“Help her”? Try: leave her.
Classic reddit
10:36 Maybe they should take that Advice Themselves, and help OP out first, instead. Money Where Their Mouth Is
Time for an afternoon nap and rslash posted 20 seconds ago. PERFECT!
16:24 just a couple of weeks is crazy, id start tweaking after a few days
Story 1: PPD is no excuse for that level of abuse. The worship of the pregnant woman needs to end.
What?
No seriously what the fuck are you on about? Do you mean being more considerate because pregnancy is a lot of bullshit to deal with? Because I don't know of any worship and not seeing any here for this woman either. In fact seems like everyone agrees this is domestic violence and he should get far away.
First story, hormonal shifts are a B-, and I do have sympathy for someone going through that. However, things escalating to physical violence while refusing to get treatment is not excusable. He is totally within his rights to go through with the divorce. And her turn around, regardless of what spurred it on finally, is just the start. If she had gotten help earlier, maybe they'd be able to work it through together, but no one should have to endure physical violence in a relationship, especially in what should be the most intimate relationship you have in your life. And yes, even with sympathy for the post-partum depression, the child's safety comes first. I hope she continues to work through it and find some way to make it up to OP. That said, no obligation on his part to wait for her. I hope they all find a place of healing and ensure the child is raised in safety and love.
Story 1: Her behavior is disgusting. As someone who is currently almost 7 months pregnant and has suffered with severe depression for quite some time, I cannot imagine doing anything like this to my husband. Yes, I am on medication and in therapy, but even when I wasn't, I really never this horrible to him. The worst things that I have done emotionally during my pregnancy is cry because I thought I heard his feelings, cry because I was overwhelmed, and have a panic attack because I thought he was upset at me. Her behavior makes no sense to me.
First story: no, *trying again* is not an option. Abuse is abuse regardless of gender
Story 3: alright everyone, say it with me "THEN WHY DON'T YOUUUU DO IT"
responding to you in regards to the 1st story
she probably was financially cornered into therapy, she doesn't sound like she was stable enough to get a job
first story op needs to press those charges. "I'm sorry I'm seeing a psychological health team" does not overcome breaking a coffee cup onto your partner. her parents just don't want to deal with her. op keeping this woman away from a vulnerable child is the right call. divorce her. she can take all the time in the world to actually get help, but she was so violent that she probably doesn't deserve a second chance until the kid is old enough to understand what treatment is acceptable from others so he doesn't get grinned into being abused.
second story, NTA. her bio donor is a pos, the other girls mom is a moron, and i feel sorry for for the half sister, but the bio donor is so pathetic and abusing the half siblings in order to abuse the older daughter.
hope op's mom can change op's school. preferably a private one.
third story, don't give them money. they are the assholes and so are op's parents. the only people responsible for their siblings financial situation is them. and the parents are the next in line for that responsibility. go no contact.
There is only so much that can be explained by pregnancy hormones, but the fact that the wife had the presense of mind to put on a sweet victim act in front of other people to keep up appearances shows that she knew exactly what she was doing with the abuse
Periodt.
Update on the 4th story with the healous ex: They broke up but reddit warns OP to stay vigilant cause the ex clearly sounds crazy and insane.
6:04 nope the parents weren't enough either
it's the fact being kicked out on the streets that made her sobber up and seek therapy
“Then why don’t YOU do it?!” is my favorite thing R/slash says! 😂😂
Story 4: This is a grown adult beefing with a child over…I guess not being the only person OP is giving attention to. Megan should just get an apartment
Nta sue for full custody and use the evidence of the abuse.
Story 3: I would ask the sibling to write down the list of their loans and other debts, along with what were they for, discuss details of them with the sibling if any of them are not clear and then slap this list into face of anyone calling you heartless.
Ah, story 3: the good ol' "Then why don't YOU do it???"
Story 1: She was counting on OP's parental instincts to keep him in the abuse. One thing I've noticed with all abusers- when you try to cut contact, they'll put on an act of a reformed person, and if you don't buy it, you're abused for that- a.k.a exactly what's happening here.
I just want to point out that it is not possible to damage a Switch by simply "dropping" it. It's not an advertised feature, but all Nintendo products are designed to withstand a drop from 155cm (this is Japan, so 5'1" in America). They are also generally over-engineered as there is a TH-cam video of someone dropping their Switch out of a hot air balloon and it still working (mostly, I think one of the joycons broke). You may also recall that famous Gameboy damaged in a Gulf War bombing that still works, the point is it is a large undertaking to damage a Nintendo console.
lol I am clumsy and I have dropped my switch many times without it even getting a scratch. Total BS on the GF’s part.
Hell remember the gamecube? You could build an actual house out of those things.
Story 1: OP needs to 100% never get back with his wife. If someone lays their hands on you, you should leave them and never, ever return.
Ugh when I was pregnant I too turned into an abusive tyrant. The entirety of my pregnancy was an entire black out, I legit remember nothing. It was horrific and I never ever want to go through it again, and I'm sure everyone around me agrees
Nicr cover story. You'd be on the streets. 😊
Surely all those family members who are so concerned could put in money themselves to help?
Threy wony
Story 1. I have a Co-Wroker who has the same story. 4 years later they are still trying to "make it work" and he is finally realzing it will never be better. That some how the woman he loved and married mentally switched with the Baby. And now he can get custody because of all the police reports he filed on her over 4 years of documented abuse.
whats insane about the second story is that after the mother dropped the "my son's first time meeting his father shouldn't be in a school meeting where he berates him for not wanting to spend time with his affair sister" bomb the principal had to be like "ok, whatever this meeting is about, I do not like this father and Im already 100% on the mother's side"
Makes total sense that the dad would show up to scold OP for not doing what his daughter wants. His daughter has the same sense of entitlement. Only what they want matters.