4 Things: Reproductive Ab*s3, Woman Just Wants to be Left Alone, Women's Unpaid Labor
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 พ.ค. 2024
- "Got stealthed and I'm freaking out."
"Fed up with men disturbing my peace as a woman."
"Is community only possible with women free labour?"
"Why is housework only considered *work* when men are asked to do it?"
#relationships #burbnbougie #marriage #storytime #4bs #reddit #aita #emotionalstruggle #personalexperience #support #unpaidlabor
And this is why we need to ditch men until these laws are removed.
Nawl frfr! Wymyn steady laying down with them while they actively show they don't give a damn about us! I've had men hit on me at larger festivals locally after declining to sign petitions to reinstate reproductive rights here in MO right in front of my face and after watching me sign those same petitions. Its so ridiculous and such a slap to the face.
They're not worth the risk even with better laws
@@childfreescallywag This has happened to me and to other women right in front of me.
Always shut it down with, “I don’t allow anti-choice males any access to me or my body.” Then, walk away.
@@valeriew4833This this this, a thousand times THIS 👆
I wish people would start calling 'Stealthing' 'Contraceptive Rape'
Because thats what it is - subjecting a sex partner to an act (sex without a condom) they did not consent to.
I’m going to call it that from now on, thank you for providing a more accurate term!
That is a more appropriate term.
It’s sti rape too
Ok but please women, please be careful with drinking heavily around men. Its not safe to be heavily inebriated around them.
If I was a childfree woman, I would 100% move to a state where abortion is legal. ASAP.
I moved from a good state to a red wasteland. I had an offer for free rent while I upped my education so I can afford to live in a better state. 4b while I’m here and I’ll be very open about why if asked.
The people who will be most impacted by these laws are the ones who can’t move, for various reasons, esp. financial ones :(
@@TheePrincessBrat I wish we could start a fund to help women move to and get established in blue states...jobs, housing, school, etc...
@@creolenola same. i also expect an illicit market will pop up for contraceptives, and I’m sure it’ll have tons of support. I hope women in those states don’t give in. They can’t lock everyone up
That’s a slippery slope of blame. I know you’re saying “if I were____” but this is common sentiment especially from people in liberal states whenever something like this comes up in a red state. There are a million reasons why someone can’t just pick up and move like that.
First guy probably thought she would be too drunk to notice what he did.
Thing is, condoms don't just prevent pregnancy, they also protect against STIs and STDs.
Taking it off without her explicit consent is a crime.
Condoms actually do prevent pregnancy they're just not 100% effective. But really nothing is.
Where i live theres a womans club and a free mason club. Guess which club does all the fundraising and is always doing stuff for the community and which one is super secret and does 0 things for the community
Doesn't the super secret dweebs club ban women?
@@BlackRaven000 I'm crying!!!🤣😭
@@BlackRaven000 The Masons themselves don't allow women. However, there is a sister organization of the Masons called Eastern Star. My grandmother and great-aunt were members.
@BlackRaven000 the Mason club is men only but they have "auxiliaries" called Eastern Star for women and Job's Daughters for girls. They often praise the nice things the women's groups do to make the guy groups look better. Other fraternal orgs and sorority groups exist like Elks, Eagles, Oddfellows, and their feminine counterparts.
I worked for freemason once. Misogyny out the wazoo. He was such a jerk that I broke his little freemason magic stick on my way out the door...
For context, he and his wife sat me down and said I needed to dress more provocatively so I could draw in more customers. His wife very kindly offered me a very tiny t shirt and a pair of shorts that would not have covered my entire butt...
So yeah...I broke his magic stick.
She needs to go to the cops. The guy sexually assaulted her by doing this.
Unfortunately they probably wouldn't do anything and would make her feel worse. She consented to safe shmex and her partner absolutely committed SA by making it unsafe without her consent but all the cops would hear is that she consented initially.
The nuance of consent is ignored by many unless it affects them. They know it's wrong but pretend it isn't so they don't have to really look at themselves.
No they won't do anything. She needs to sue him and ask for a female judge. S male judge will tank the case
So she can be laughed at? She was drunk and he said she said it was OK. Even with the "perfect" victim calling the cops almost always makes it worse.
@@user-je7db7bi7iReporting the guy keeps a record so if others come forward about the same guy he then could be seen as a danger to the public. There could be women that need to get child support out of this guy.
@@c.cortez1508 men understand when you threaten to slip a finger in there
Story 1: she still needs to get tested for a STI panel, that guy could have all sorts of germs.
No one said she shouldn't get an STD/STI panel.
All that was stated is, she may want to wait two or three weeks before getting that panel done.
It's true that certain STDs and STIs don't show up until at least a few weeks after the contamination occurred. 🫤😕
To get the most accurate test possible, she should get her panel... Two or three weeks after contamination. But definitely take that Anti AIDS medication/ vaccine within a few hours after contamination. 😕
I think that was all commented on in the video.
Story 2: so glad that someone brought up the "how are we supposed to shoot our shot". These men took themselves out of church, higher education, volunteerism, civic and social activites. These incidentally were also the ways in the past that men vetted women before deciding if they wanted to put in the time/money to court them. Now men want to say that they won't put in time or money because they don't know if a woman is worth pursuing, but they are the ones who removed themselves from all aspects of society that don't directly pay them. I am hosting a garden club party today that is fueled entirely by volunteers. 95% of members are either women or men who are married.
Men have always been this way at least a little bit, but it seems to have gotten worse in recent decades. It seems like now we that have television, the internet, video games, etc., many men are quite happy to sit on their butts and be entertained. And that is one of the hidden dangers of marriage -- isolation. A married couple's social life is almost always handled by the wife. And if she gets tired, he's not going to take over. Then you lose contact with people, and get to spend the second half of your life watching a fat old man play GTA-17, lol.
I've been married 22 years, and I can see it coming. I've been very busy today - Sunday breakfast, shopping, making chicken salad for lunch tomorrow, dishes (twice), feeding the kids, etc. In between each of those tasks I've been asking my husband when he's going to do the yard work items that have to be done before we have a bunch of people coming over this weekend. It's 1:30 PM, he's still playing...I don't know, sounds like guns, people screaming, etc. And I'm quite sure that the day I stop harassing him to do these things, they will stop getting done. And we won't have people over anymore.
I think that's how a lot of older couples get isolated. The wife gets tired of making it all happen with her husband fighting her every step of the way, and just gives up.
Ooohhh, a garden party sounds nice!!! And yes, 100% agree. These males won't even go to actual meet ups for dating/courting purposes to try and meet anyone. They don't seem to mind stalking and jumping onto you while you're in a grocery store just trying to pick up dinner, however....😤
@Revelwoodie please stop putting up with that behavior.
@@Revelwoodie I encourage you to completely stop all social activities at your home. Join some local clubs in your area and go alone. You can donate your time money and energy to those things and YOU alone can benefit from the outcome. If he is not interested, don't force friendship and connections on him.
@@amberinthemist7912 UPDATE: My husband has now done the thing I've been nagging him to do. Took less than an hour.
That said, yes - I understand your reaction, "stop putting up with it." The thing is, you have to put up with some things when you're married. Not BIG things, of course, but won't do the yard work? Ate the thing I needed for dinner tomorrow? Left garbage in the car? This is the kind of stuff where you're really at the mercy of your partner. You can't force someone to do something. So at the end of the day, you have to decide whether or not the offense is divorce worthy. Most of the time, the answer to that question is going to be "no."
And that is one of the many reasons people should think long and hard before getting married. That's just what living with someone for decades is eventually like.
Its wild that a dude can do this and a woman has to spend like at least 500$ for ehat he did to her body. Its so gross. Ladies just be celibate. Its worth it. 500$ bc these dudes want to use us... no. Just stop it!
I was just thinking about the same thing. Not to mention the trauma of being betrayed by some loser stealthing them, but the cost of Plan B and STI screening is all so unfair. I personally don't think relationships are worth any of that risk
That woman should ask herself was that s** worth 500 $ and everything that she is now going thru. I mean why are you even doing this, are you that desperate. Because it seems you paid 500 $ for what you have now. If women want a better life they need to be responsible with their choices, too.
@@pigeoness22ur blaming someone who got sexually assaulted for her own assault. No... You just stop being a dick
@@pigeoness22 are you talking about the girl that got stealthed?
In the UK its free on the NHS.
The fact that they asked about ethnicity, of all the things to break the ice, tells you everything you need to know
Ya!!!! Wtfff.
Im in the military and a sailor two pay grade stealthed me. I became pregnant and he refused to help me. Our coworker turned on me and I was retaliated against. I was so stressed that I ended up having a miscarriage. When I reported him, he didn't get in trouble. Under the UCMJ law, stealthing is not recognized. Ive been calling lawyers to hold him accountable but so far none will take my case. I'm stationed in California where stealthing is illegal.
Did the sex act happen on base or off because if it happened off you need to go to the police in California
@@paulaw418 it happened on base
Wow I’m so sorry. Out him in all safe ways you can. So many guys think they can do this to us.
16:44 Fantastic point! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
So when women do housework it's "easy" and "why are you complaining?"but when men are asked to help, it's "Why are you asking me to WORK when I just got home from WORK?!!!??"
🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
They don't even see the disconnect.
Or pretend not to.
To the last lady, I ran circles, labor wise, around my ex. He could not keep up, even with the supposedly man things he was supposed to do. What would really trigger him was me waiting months, if not years, for something to get fixed or replaced. Then I would call the most expensive person I could find to repair it. I have worked FT, been a SAHM, with a side business. I was on the PTA, helped my son's athletic teams, rescued animals, did house maintenance, took our the garbage, did all the cooking, cleaning and food buying, the appointments and the entire mental load and watched this man sit there, when I finally started returning his energy, as his clothes sat in a dirty basket for 2 weeks and he finally ran out of work clothes. He had a massive man child melt down and to get "revenge", threw my clothes in one load and accidentally "Bleached" them. Yep. When I got to the point where I rather live in my vehicle than ever be married or have room mates again, yeah, I choose my car and the bear.
Ty for your description of everything you were doing. Very honest and an anti-advert for marriage or living with a man.
Even if you said this story ended happily, that description would still make me not want to live with a man and do all of that.
I (for me) no benefit in your narrative, to share quarters with a man as a legal spouse or as live in partners. None, whatsoever. Not one thing.
I am sorry you had to experience that.
@@kittykatz4001 Honestly, that is why I speak out now. I used to keep quiet. No human should be treated any less than the amazing WOMEN that we are!
And when I left, I lived in the worlds smallest apartment but it was my clean, calm, zen place. Best decision I ever made.
Men are always being manipulative. It's like guy code to wash clothes and ruin them with bleach or colors. This is done intentionally so you won't want them to wash clothes again. They know better. They just don't want you asking them to do it. I'm not going to play their stupid little games. However, if they insist on playing this S**t, then let the games begin. I guarantee I can play better than they can.
that's why I never do that stuff in the first place
To the second story, I am a female and I am always somewhat watching out for other women, to make sure they are not being bothered. I don't have to say anything, bother them, nothing, just I am aware. Men think they are so entitled to a woman's time and space. And they act clueless. If a woman actively turns her back to you or moves away, get a hint. I walk several times a week, at a local park. I can't tell you how many men will not yield on a five foot walking path and they HAVE to say hi to you. I just keep walking straight on and have literally run into men to make them get the point.
My dog growls. It’s a great buffer 🐕
@@cloud9beauty mine is a 150 lbs beauty. Men still yell stupid stuff - but they so from a far...
Stealthing happened to me. I repressed it for two years. Then I contacted the SA crisis center. They went with me to make a police report. The police and DA decided not to prosecute...I didn't have another a sexual relationship for 5 years.
Steathing is grape. But, make sure the plan B worked before going to the police and make sure you have money to go out of state in case it is not. Buy a pregnancy test with cash and tell no one. Dispose of the used test at an anonymous place. When she is not pregnant, make the report and get justice and a restraining order.
If she goes to the police, there'd be a record of her possibly being pregnant. So if she gets an abortion out of state, the cops may be tracking her pregnancy, and she could be arrested or sued. I don't know...if us women need to keep things secret, we can't go to the police. And the police are notorious for not believing women who are assaulted
Yeah, everyone telling her to report it, that can backfire spectacularly in her face. And let's face it, do we really think he would get more than probation??? Doubtful she won't be the one put through the ringer.
She needs to get tested 💉
That's exactly what happened to me in college; wasn't even old enough to buy alcohol legally. Left with an incurable disease because he put on protection and removed it without telling me until after the fact because it was "too tight and too uncomfortable". I had no idea it was sexual assault nor a criminal offense at that time, so I did what most women and girls who were steeped in grape culture and misogyny, and just blamed myself and moved on.
the last time I had relations with a man (pre-pandemic) he was whining like a toddler about me making him wear protection. And he KEPT trying to go in without it even after several conversations where I stated that I will never accept it.
he told me that his last relationship ended because his ex had an abortion without his knowledge. My endless compassion for that woman who was most likely graped by this piece of S.
Love and healing to you 💜
look into if your state has any post survivors laws like ny did
@@dezinechic Thank you, I will.
sue for the lifelong medical costs of the incurable?
I was today years old when i learned why i have an adult child. Didn't know there was a weight consideration for the plan b treatment. 😳
Well, dang.
As we hear more about reproductive abuse and aborti@n bans, how are underinsured and uninsured women supposed to navigate getting services?! 😔😔
I absolutely stopped helping random people in the store. Especially males. Yesterday, a random Male stranger asked if I would help him, while I was hiking. I shook my head "no" and kept it moving. As a wyte Male, he was very surprised that I didn't help him. 😒😒🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
That is how serial 💀er Tee Bundy caught his women victims: pretending to need “help” or faking injury.
A couple of yrs ago, a BW whom I followed on FB was forwarding in for with images of an elderly BW who approached her (a young woman) in a retail store parking lot to ask the young woman to “accompany her (olde lady) to assist her with getting her mother in the car or assist her with her mother!”
This old lady was trying to lure her (young woman) to a place to be “napped” for s traffic scheme.
It’s sad it has come to this that evil people weaponize our feminine desire to help and to assist people.
It's an interesting thing I've been noticing lately. More dudes are asking women to "help" them and when our spidey senses tingle and we politely decline, they start crying victim about how awful we are.
You don’t work there and you have zero reason or duty to help any XY do a damn thing.
@@BlackRaven000 ted bundy did the same
Forest 101 is avoid people in the woods, and male hikes know very well not to solicit help from women hikers unless it is life or death. I’ve never had a man ask me for help on a trail. Not even for directions. We’re in a place that likely has no service, men know they are an immediate threat to us in that environment. Only sketchy guys stop and ask women for help in remote wooded areas. He would need to be stuck in quick sand, pinned by a rock, or on a frequently commuted trail where we both are well aware other hikers will be passing through in minutes. Once a guy helped me fill up my water bottles due to equipment malfunction on my end. He made sure to high take it out of there afterward as to very much display he wasn’t trying to walk with me. This was in colorado on a trail I’ve hiked twice. Few other places in the US would have the same level of safety.
This occurs all the time, including in marriage and in “relationships.”
Men do this ALL THE TIME.
Wake up. 😢🤬😡🥺
Yes they do. I had a conversation witha friend about this the other night..these guys will ghost u but before they will want to leave you with a gift 🎁
Can't trust men for hardly anything.
1st story, Stealthing is a civil offense in my state. You can sue for damages. OP needs to see if she can report this make to the authorities. It’s unfair that she had to go through all that because he only cared about his own pleasure. Last story, seeing what some wives go through makes me never want to be married; these men have no love or respect for their wives.
3:20 pregnancy isn't the worst of it. Disease is what scares me most.
Women literally risk their lives during pregnancy and their entire lives change IF you survive the pregnancy. Be Serious. It’s just as bad as disease.
I didn't realize how prescriptive white Anglo-Sax and Protestant culture was in the United States until I got into a relationship and married a Mexican-American .
White Anglo-Saxon Protestant families prize Independence. If your child does not leave home at the age of 18 and venture out to "seek their fortune," White Protestant families will look at you as a failure. You did something wrong if your child isn't self-sufficient and building some sort of life, wealth, and family on his or her own .
When I started dating my wife, I immediately realized that Mexican Americans who settled in South Texas generations ago practice interdependence. Everyone is encouraged to live very close to one another. The idea is to be able to walk to your child's home , and come and immediately start talking and or doing with your child and their family .
Over the years I've come to understand how interdependence can be a real gift. Among Mexican American people, if someone's going through a crisis, siblings, aunts and uncles, fathers and mothers, everyone will try to pitch into their best ability to help. And yes, it does tend to be sisters, aunts, daughters, and mothers who tend to jump in first. But the men will go into their pockets and tool chests .
yeah that whole kicking your kids out at 18 and expecting them to make and get "character" from the hardships I noticed A LOT of whites follow that program but most of the world which is non whyte majority find that way of life odd and don't practice it.
WASP here, we don't abandon kids. That's on the BOOMERS. - England
@@seabreeze4559 I'm a WASP in the US, and I have noticed that younger WASP parents will let their kids land with them. But it's still discussed as if it's a failure of parenting over here.
It's wonderful, until someone decides to be toxic.
I guarantee that wasn't his 1st time doing that 💅🏾
6:39 Out of all the comments this verify that men shouldn’t have a say on whether or not a woman should be pregnant or continue the pregnancy. This man can put a baby in the OP and continue his life like normal while her life could be changed mentally, physically and financially for the rest of her life. Even with married men; married men have left their wives with the kids and started over with their lives.
What I may say may sound unpopular but another thing to this story is that the evidence that the OP collect to report to the police; including the report itself and the STI testing could have been used against her to put her in jail. This should be a huge wake up call to women that the legal system now more than ever can be weaponize against you just for sleeping with these men. Even if she’s not pregnant if they live in Texas the man could lie and say she got an abortion and all the things she’s advised to do, although correct could be used against her.
Don’t forget that woman who had a miss carriage. She wanted her baby and she even came in like she was suppose to but they still wanted to press charges against her because she didn’t want to keep the remains to bring to the hospital. I deeply agree that sleeping with men is almost the same as playing Russian Roulette with your life right now.
This was my first thought too. As horrible as it is her attempting to get this rapist put away could become her getting put away instead.
Wouldn’t he need to provide proof of the abortion? Location, physician, date and time of appointment?
Have you seen this scenario play out in one of the red states before?
I’m not from a red state so I don’t know their rules, but I’d hope they’d need proof before believing him.
honestly intimate relations with men are not worth it. They are so bad at it, it's extremely unlikely you'll O, he'll probably talk trash about you behind your back, he's probably imaging you are his step-sister or some sick deranged stuff, they last such a short time, their equipment might not work, their body is going to look average at best. Seriously sisters there is no benefit, only risk!
@@mysteriousvirgo6552we’ve seen it happen and similar events like it, they just named some lol.
@@mysteriousvirgo6552 it would prove he graped her too
I wish there was one day where a man wasn't trying to get my attention! By the end of the day I feel like I have patted so many backs and given so many fake smiles. I am moving from annoyed to rude.. I know its dangerous, but I am fed up! 😅
I screenshot this because it sums up sooooooo well how I also feel.
They can choose violence no matter what we do.
We aren't the problem.
Story 2: I was low key approached by the immigration officer who was processing my passport. Like, Sir, you are a public SERVANT. Consider me as your employer because in a sense I actually am. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Something women who take birth control need to know, that certain forms of birth control do have a weight limit to them. Meaning, their efficacy is limited or loss after a certain weight. Make sure to talk about this with your doctor. Also certain medication can counter act birth control like antibiotics can impact the efficacy of some birth control methods. 'To be forewarned is to be forearmed."
That's what happened to my cousin's wife. She was taking birth control and antibiotics at the same time, and ended up pregnant.
Story 2: Once I was sitting in a library, watching youtube videos on my laptop, while doing homework (I liked how quiet it was). Spotted a little girl running around by herself in a library once, not in the children section. At the time I was studying to be an educator, so I observed to make sure she was safe. Two minutes later her dad materialized out of nowhere, got me to take off my headphones, and talk to me. First it was about his daughter, so I thought it was going to be a pleasant chat... and then he tried asking for my Instagram... then twitter... then Facebook, basically kept trying until I told him I don't do social media. I left shortly after that, feeling uncomfortable because he kept hanging around that section while his daughter played- as if using her to keep me anchored in my spot.
This was years before I learned about any of the stuff BurbNBougie has been teaching women, so I didn't know how to react. Looking back with what I know now, I can guess all the different intentions he had for asking for my socials.
Why is Instagram always the first thing they ask for? The second a dude tries to get my insta ID, alarm bells go off.
@@BlackRaven000 finsta accounts
S2: Some years ago I was walking to the grocery store. It was later than I usually go and a man came up to me. I expected just a short greeting, but he kept asking for my name and trying to talk to me. I only gave him a nasty glare and went on my way. He followed me for a bit before he gave up.
It's why I always go to the store in the early morning. My mom kept insisting I engage in conversation with strangers because, from her perspective, she learned a lot from them and she believes I need to talk to more people and "be polite" but no. I just wanna be left alone. What's so wrong about that?
Us women are literally given advice which goes against our inherent survival instincts. "Be nice", "be polite", "Smile!", truly, anything other than "you matter too, and you have every right to protect yourself, especially in situations with an unknown element." We're groomed to go against our instincts, that's insane.
Stay the way you are. It will protect you.
There was a story of a girl who was kidnapped and kept in a man’s basement for 10 years. She finally escaped and was able to reunite with her family. She was angry toward her mother because her mother always said, “Be friendly and help people”. She was angry about that because the guy who kidnapped her was asking her for help to find his puppy, and at that moment, she was kidnapped. She rightfully blamed her mom for teaching her BS.
Do not listen to your mom in those regards. You could show her my comment if you wish. Girls are led to the slaughter like sheep, and it’s sad. Girls aren’t taught to lean into their survival instincts whereas guys are.
The advice I was given years ago about always saying yes to a first date request, because you might miss out on an amazing romance by strictly sticking to "your type".
Can't believe I ever thought such an idea was sensible...
@@mysteriousvirgo6552Thank you. I never heard of that story until now. I hope she's doing okay. Unfortunately, showing my mom your comment won't do any good. She'll only see it as a "rare" situation and brush it off. I've learned the hard way to just not listen to her anymore.
Just recently I had irregular periods and have yet to get my pap smear, so I went to the doctor and she insisted I should get one. When I told my mom, however, she told me to not to do it because it'll break my hymen and thus I won't be a virgin anymore. I went to reddit for advice and the responses were what you could expect, some calling out my mom for putting such nonsense over my health. It still hurts knowing I can't listen to my own mom, but it's better than putting my safety (and now my health) at risk.
A while back you did a video with a lady who spoke about an extinction burst. She said their behaviour would get worse and worse as a way to try to force women to deal with them.
Do you think you could do another video about the extinction burst behaviour?
I've heard of that too
They're welcome to continue with their tantrums as long as they know that we'll also be bringing back the Roald Dahl recipe for a roast leg of lamb 😂😂😂😂😂
1. She’s within the 72 hour window to take Plan B and she did correct. She needs to go get a r kit done and checked for STDs. This was SA and she needs go to the police and press charges against this monster. This is not her fault this was his fault. She didn’t give consent period! He’s done this to other women.
She’s in a red state she need to make sure she not preggers before she goes to cops. Coz otherwise she’ll won’t be able to get an abortion without them coming for her!
For anyone who might need help: NAF (nat’l abortion federation) is a foundation that can help with funding and travel fit those who need an abortion
here in the EU we still have rights. Come on over!
@@electron-Volt I would love to, but unfortunately, disabled people are not allowed to immigrate.
I grew up in a multigenerational family and it WAS one of those where women cooked and men did car maintenance. It never felt unbalanced because they were not rigidly gendered tasks; the men cooked and did childcare and the women did household repairs, whoever was handy when a thing needed doing.
I realize that's not how it has been for many or most families.
I think the sense of community was lost after WWII when corporations encouraged people to spend lots of money buying cars and gas, driving long distances, relocating for jobs, and buying lots and lots of real estate.
The idea of buying a new house every five years because you have more kids, your kids are grown, you moved jobs to another location, or you want a vacation place, that's a foreign concept for me, but it's normal for our culture. And it's only been this way for about 70 years. Before that, it was not uncommon for people in middle America, even in cities, to have backyard chickens; it was a whole different speed of life. You'll see recent immigrants with chickens and big gardens, but I think in general people don't think of their location as defining them, even in less profound ways than, "I literally sustain myself from the earth outside my door."
We're always chasing something. It's usually not _HERE;_ unless we're lucky. Or wise.
I first read about stealthing in the 8th grade. So it’s something I’ve know about for a really long time. We were supposed to be using the magazines for collages, and I was…until story on the cover of Essence got my attention. I can’t remember the context for this stat anymore, but it was 80%. Maybe it was 80% of men said they’ve done it. Haven’t forgot it since and was happy when my state made it a crime
May I ask what state this law took place in?
80%? WOW I wish we could find that article now and cite it.
@@seabreeze4559 i know! i just spent 30min trying to find it. I hate sharing stats that I can’t cite. This was an older edition of the magazine, 2008-2010. Either ebony or essence, it was definitely a black women’s magazine. I’m so glad I read it because I think it saved me from being stealthed. A guy kept asking if he could take off the c0nd0m, and I realized sooner or later he would probably just do it anyway. It’s scary how common this is. It’s how a lot of women got trapped with the men they’re with now
I believe it 100%. Heard so many stories where men always want it without protection, we are just objects for their pleasure...
Story 2: I'm considering getting a vintage wedding ring for these kinds of situations.
And, women have been doing that forever. I had an elderly aunt tell me ages ago to always have a "wedding" ring to wear as needed.
I do utilize that, as needed. But, it really makes me furious that being some man's "property" is required for safety.
Also, be aware that there is a smaller subset of men who prefer to pursue married women.
I made a fake wedding ring for myself once I started to silver-smithing. Best use of my time yet.
I tried that. It didn't stop men from approaching me. They'd tell me my "husband" wasn't taking good care of me, that if they were "my man" I'd never have to work or lift a finger to support myself.
The most ridiculous part of this, I was working in a homeless shelter, and the men hitting on me were HOMELESS.
Like, how are you supposed to take care of me, when you can't take care of yourself???
Temu has them for .89 cents to just under $5.00. 😊
@@RamenNoodle1985 was just about to say they don't care bout that at all! like it's the delusion AND audacity for me!
Oh my god she needs to sue him oh my foodness. Ladies PLEASE STOP TAKING THIS shit lying down.
Yes, let him pay for all the expenses she's had to take on to prevent pregnancy and stds.
Yes, join 4B!
Another thing, corn sites have been banned in certain states for the age verification rights infringement... So I'm under the impression if they aren't buying content, then XY are going to shoot every shot they can possibly more aggressiv3ly because they can't view content on their own time
we have seen the horrors of South Korea after they banned corn (which I applaud). The illegal cams in every bathroom and changing room, men streaming their OWN CHILDREN going to the potty for some sick coomer to watch, the Nth room (do not search if you are sensitive, this is extremely vile).
japan corn actually increased SA of schoolgirls so I think they'll hop to toys
The working definition I use for community is a group of people who act to meet each other’s needs. The stronger the needs and the better they’re met, the more rich that community is. So a community of tennis players who meet regularly and parter up to be sure that everyone gets to play is a good community, but a community where even only most people make sure that even people who cannot help also get their very essential needs met is a rich community (grandmas with dementia and newborn babies are housed, fed, respected and loved). I’m the US, people avoid letting others meet their needs - it’s considered a weak point to have a need.
WEIGHT Limits regarding Plan B are super important!
These mens have been out here trapping women for ions then turn around and want to cry about everything. It's sad. 3:15
1:53 I wish we talked about this more 20+ years ago.
Ugh, these men make me so damn angry 😡😡😡
As a person who has a child because my partner sabotaged bc I am disgusted when it comes to stealthing. It should be considered SA. It is the worst situation I have ever been through. He was happy I was having a baby. I wasn't. If I could do it all over, I would tell every man I ever dated I was pro abortion. I was anti abortion because of my father and several other men I know feeling a way about their child being aborted. I am sooo PRO abortion now! There is even one man I told that I understand why women abort his babies. He is the worst kind of man!
For The First Story, She Could've Gotten A Grape Kit From A Hospital && Got His DNA Registered With The Police. Online Dating Is No Good!
yes to registering DNA
Holy dingle berry Batman, this is why 4B is growing.
That loser F sakez is blaming her for what he did to her.
She needs to go get some prep and be on anti virals
I'm the oldest grandchild and the fourth oldest of my generation. I definitely feel like I've raised 5-6 of my little cousins. When I was 12 years old, one of my older cousins had me watching her two kids all summer from 8AM to 9PM for $7/day....... and my mother allowed it! I also had to clean the entire house while my mom was at work and cook for myself most days. I was getting robbed financially and robbed of a childhood. I should've been outside with other kids my age doing sports, summer camp, etc. I'm a very responsible person to this day because of it, but I'm also far more l exhausted with life than I should be at age 32.
#4B
There was one time my ex secretly finished in me, but I knew it was the wrong time of the month to get pregnant. This was when he knew I wanted to break up with him.
A woman can totally tell when there’s recently been sperm inside her. He was chronically codependent, and what some people don’t know about codependency, is they’ll it’ll make someone do some really sneaky things.
Since both his dad and aunt were dying of prostate cancer (it’s uncommon for a woman to get it, uncommon for a woman to get it somewhat young like her, and uncommon for it to kill her as fast as it was.) Most people can live for years and years with prostate cancer but it was killing both of them very fast.
That meant it was very hereditary. I wasn’t about to have a kid with him even if I did want to, and curse the child that that family health history!
Wtf?
Its rare for women to get prostate cancer...BC women DON'T HAVE A PROSTATE! Check ur basic biology
If your aunt is a trans woman then OK - prostate cancer
From the Urology Center of Iowa
Found it by googling "Do women have a prostate"
"Women do not have a prostate. However, they possess a structure known as Skene’s glands, which are sometimes called the female prostate. Skene’s glands are two small ducts located near the front wall of the vagina, on either side of the lower end of the urethra.
Skene’s glands share some similarities with the male prostate in terms of anatomy and function. In fact, these glands develop from the same cells that become the prostate in men. Skene’s glands help lubricate the vagina during sex, and the fluid they release helps to prevent urinary tract infections."
"Women do not have a prostate. However, they possess a structure known as Skene’s glands, which are sometimes called the female prostate. Skene’s glands are two small ducts located near the front wall of the vagina, on either side of the lower end of the urethra.
Skene’s glands share some similarities with the male prostate in terms of anatomy and function. In fact, these glands develop from the same cells that become the prostate in men. Skene’s glands help lubricate the vagina during sex, and the fluid they release helps to prevent urinary tract infections."
@@asiayournet8593Thank you 💜
Scary stuff. 😭 Poor OP. SPICY activities are not worth your life!!!! Those were great advice by the commenters. And yep we CANNOT exist in peace 😭😭.
It's just hard for me to understand why a woman would NOT be on bc in one of those states ..😬😵💫😵
Or any state for that matter.
not everyone is willing or able to withstand the possible health complications that arise as side effects of birth control, it’s not unreasonable
family reaction history?
Neither my sister nor I can handle hormonal BC, and my aunt developed cirrhosis of the liver from the pill which gave her liver cancer and killed her.
@@777.molove There are many forms of BC. Look at the health complications of not using any.
Theres 1 coach for 30 kids. Thats like a teacher. And yall cant tell me theres more pe coaches then teachers.
0:44 Reproductive Abuse
6:46 Left Alone
11:13 Women's Unpaid Labor 1
15:49 Women's Unpaid Labor 2
I was stealthed, I was not drunk. There is nothing she could have done to prevent that he is doing this to her. A dark room, a closed eye, a moment of losing yourself during sex and he can do this to you. I remember how scared I was. It blew my mind that a trusted person would do this to me.I was totally shocked and I remember that there are mens groups that teach each other how to do it so a woman don´t notices. It is also about the shock when she finds out, the panic in her eyes. These men go off by that. It is about power. I remember how I had to pay so much for planB, then for the STD tests that I never wanted sex again. I wish you could make him pay for all of that, but in my country this was not possible. It is considered rape now. I would not know how to prove it, but at least it something. I confronted him later about his disrespectful behavior and he said, "I am always respectful to women". The typical "not all men guy".
Std test is one thing, make sure to request to be tested for HSV2, and HPV. Those are separate and are normally not included in the STD tests. You need to know that that POS dude didn’t give you something incurable like genital warts, or genital herpes. Trust me, it’s important.
since hsv2 is incurable what could that do to her later? I read birth defects?
My doctor said that getting the first hsv2 outbreak during pregnancy is very dangeours, then a cesarian will be done and after the first outbreak the body will produce antibodies. But a healthy pregnancy is possible. But it can still come back time to time, but depends on the person, some are asymptomatic. It is a very nasty disease and in some countries will it only be tested for if there are rashes...
@@seabreeze4559 I hope my answer helped you
Last week in the middle of the day I was cycling to work. I live in a large city and plenty of people cycle. I was in business dress and minding my own business, a was harassed by a fellow cyclist who came up behind me and asked me if I remembered him, I did not because we’ve never met. He tried to keep talking to me but I ignored him. By the way I’m 58, I look younger but I’m still 58. Ladies it never stops.
4B
Be discreet about it for safety.
I got stealthed at 18. Got pregnant. Had a miscarriage and he didn't think anything was wrong with it.
It's not at all unlikely that she's pregnant, if she's around the end of her period and has a very short cycle the sperm could survive long enough until her ovulation 😢
As far as the stealthing goes, she does need to be careful who she tells about it. Because depending on what state she's in it may be illegal for her to leave it to get an abortion. She's going to have to do it by taking a secret "vacation" and if the wrong person hears about it she and anybody she knows who helped her could be sued. She needs to take her own over the counter pregnancy test in the privacy of her own home and if she's not keeping it she needs to tell nobody. Call planned Parenthood in the next state over. It's a shame that she can't report him to somebody for this but she can't if she's going to get an abortion.
If you are on your period you are home dry. Ovulation won't occur for around 14 days.
Not necessarily. People have gotten pregnant on their periods, or even after it ends. Sperm can stay in the body for days. I'd advise her to keep getting a pregnancy check, and good that she took plan B
It's not 100%, but yeah. She shouldn't worry. (I can see why she would, though)
25% chance of conception
It depends on your cycle. If you have a regular, average length cycle you don't have anything to worry about, but some people don't have regular, average length cycles. Either way, I'd still suggest taking a test for peace of mind.
Baby batter is the glue remover.😂😂😂😂😂😂
Just posting because I don't see too many people talking about it:
Plan B does not work for everyone but there is also Ella (Ulipristal) that is a different emergency contraception as an option if you are over 155lbs or have just had a bad plan b experience unrelated to weight. I don't think it is in drug stores but you can get it online.
Men have stealthed me. I wish I had reported.
I would be in the clinic so fast, If I were her and I could afford it I would definitely go to another state that allows abortion.
BNB, thank you for all your great videos. I watch a lot of other videos, too, but I find yours to be the best and most intelligent, and you really clarify concepts so well. Yours are always the highlight of my days.
I appreciate that
6:26 she should have went to PP. She also could have went to the ER, reported the SA. They would give her the tests and preventative STD help.
Damn that happened to me too😮
oh no!
i’m so terribly sorry :( i hope you’re safe now
Story 1: she definitely shoud never get that drunk and never sleep with him again.
I agree that she should never see him again but drinking is not really a part of this issue. It was even noted in the video that the same crime happens to sober people as well. It happens to people in the dating stage but also happens to married women because it is part of reproductive @bu$3.
The only way to mostly avoid this is to be celibate, which many are doing now, but even that will not protect you from men into more extreme violations. Society needs to change because this is disgusting and unacceptable.
@@c.cortez1508 Drinking is a part of most sex crimes though.
@@kellharris2491Drinking around XYs, yes. They're the common factor in nearly all crimes.
She should break up with him immediately.
@@kellharris2491 @BlackRaven000 Thank you for mentioning this. I have always thought of this as an excuse people use to victim blame but there is some interesting research here. What I first saw when I googled it was that alcohol is a big factor for SA on college campuses (one figure was 75% of college victims, much higher than I thought) but only 30% for SA outside of college? Other stats further down had different numbers (lower but closer to half of victims having drinking as a factor: 47%) but most seemed to only focus on drinking on college campuses and not SA outside of college.
What did stick out to me was that one figure also said almost 70% of perpetrators have been drinking when they r@p3 someone. So being with a man who has been drinking is much more dangerous than drinking yourself because drinking is believed to make some men sexually aggressive in a dangerous way. Both of you drinking is the worst combination because your own drinking can make you more vulnerable and look like a good target for someone wanting to commit a crime.
(Edited to remove personal stuff)
Here to find out what 'stealthed' means.
Took off condom during the act
I want to know as well because I was told you can tell the difference when a condom is on or if he is going raw..
She said in the story she was inebriated.
Ms_Introvert_4_Life Not if you’re under the influence.
@@Mystika777 oh ok
Mugwort helps with starting periods
If you are 175 lb or more Plan B, is less effective
❤
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
The consequence of sex is possible pregnancy and a STD condoms do not 100% negate that possibility.
What's your point?
seeing pregnancy as a consequence is predicated on the belief that women deserve to be “punished” for the “iniquity” that is having sex. please take your sex negative, misogynistic rhetoric elsewhere.
@@777.molove er no it's statistical probability even women on contraception are told to be on TWO types for the fail rate to be covered on each
@@777.molove sex is literally called babymaking, if she wants fun minus that risk it's called self pleasure
Close your legs until you can MOVE.
I keep forgetting to hit Like on your videos, I went back and corrected that for the last few days. Thank you for being consistent with our women's news. It's incredible that you have a story/stories EVERY DAY 🫣
My day off ritual is going out to somewhere quick for a bite to eat. Somewhere like Taco Bell or Burger King. About 30% of the time I feel bothered by a man. It's annoying and scary to me as a survivor of SA. I wish more people had a clue that a woman eating a burger by herself (and practically wearing pajamas) probably just wants to be left alone. 🥲
The consequence of sex is possible pregnancy and a STD condoms do not 100% negate that possibility.
yeah that's why I don't sleep around ever, like EVER women in my family are super-fertile