Hello Danish really liked your video . Wish I had done this first . Mine smear started at begin of covid cos abuse narc neighbour. I saw the rage once I started ignoring is tactics and more less saying no by putting up boundaries . It's still going on but I'm going out . It's awful and worrying time . I have been triangulated as well .it certainly touches truama from childhood because I think similar happen when child but I did not know what was going on . Not understand it . I always thought narsist. Was about vanity . I do think the bit about love self helps .
He has a smear campaign against me with my daughter (when he isn’t narc abusing them). he has smeared me in court and outside of it by attacking my Disability (I have Multiple Sclerosis) and has started a smear campaign at their school but they are well aware of his abuse and have protected themselves since kindergarten. He didn’t want custody at all but will attack everything I do as a mother to raise a child (doctor choices, hair cuts, clothing, school grades, everything is my fault but he hasn’t actually raised our child at all, just has a visitation schedule). I have managed to implement many techniques for the past 8 years and now have very little contact with him but smearing and ruining important events is his favorite game. With my child, his favorite games are different and I am trying my best to help them too. It doesn’t change the night terrors, panic attacks or feeling of drowning whenever he contacts me. Those still haven’t subsided. I think he also enjoys flaring my MS and seeing me sicker bc of his abuse and enjoys telling me how I messed up and tries to “replace memories” that “I never remember happening, bc remember? You have MS? You can’t think correctly? Right?” Thank you for your videos. When he Hoovers now, I simply go to your Instagram and watch your videos and it helps a lot, especially when it’s happening in the moment and you need a sound voice. If there are any videos on how to co parent and also support and protect your child, I would appreciate the guidance.
My ex and his family tried to turn our daughter against me. They've pretty much succeeded. She's grown now and I don't see her or my grandson very often. It breaks my heart, but there's not much I can do. It's been a long hard road out of hell... but when she turned 18, I was finally able to block him everywhere and cut ties with his family completely. Now, I just have to deal with a toxic work situation. It never ends...
if anybody would believe the narcissist nonsense, let them go because they were already looking for a reason to dislike you. that or they are narcissists themselves.
Yes but see the BIGGER picture is they were planning and plotting exactly what they were going to say in the smear campaign they knew exactly who they are going to start manipulating first in the smear campaign because all of these things are being conjured up during those sporadic moments of the silent treatment, they are fabricating lies to ensure that they're flying monkeys catch an earful, especially the good stories where you have told them something that may have been painful that you experienced and you confided in them and they turn it around and they make it horrible horrible thing and unbeknownst to us, they go straight behind our back to our family members and they will tell them flat-out bold-faced lies to where we are looking at ourselves and our family members are looking at us like damn are y'all crazy the manipulative tactics are far beyond the basic he said she said,WHEN A FAMILY MEMBER SIBLINGS KNOWS YOU AND YOU HAD A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP UPBRINGING AND GOT ALONG BETTER THAN ANY OTHER,AND THEY QUESTION WHAT WAS HEARD OR TOLD TO THEM BY THE NARC,OH NO THAT LOOK ON THE FACE OF OUR LOVED ONE HAS THE AUDACITY TO ACTUALLY HAVE ANY CAPACITY FILLING THEIR HEADSPACE, TO EVEN QUESTION US,OR BETTER YET,we share something with the Narc about a family or friend I'm confidence right we may not even realize they remembered UNTIL YOU HEAR THAT PERSON CONFRONTING YOU ASKING WHY THE HELL DID U TELL MY BUSINESS I TOLD YOU N ONLY YOU,NOW MY EX TOOK THAT INFO TWEAKING IT MAKING IT SOUND LIKE NOT ONLY DID I SHARE THE INFO,BUT I DOWNPLAYED IT N MADE IT SOUND WORSE OR DISGUSTING,
To be honest, I explained it to a few people and they simply chose to not believe me. Even if they had all the evidence in front of them. I think people prefer to believe in lies and call me crazy rather than confronting the uncomfortable true. It's sad but helped me in cleaning my trust circle.
@Caroline L , hmm exactly that has been my experience and I feel so re traumatized by it and I’m struggling to get out of the shock . Evil evil evil dark souls working nonstop to destroy others 😢
I think a lot of people experience that. You can't control the way someone else thinks. Someone who chooses to believe lies perpetrated against you without evidence was never your friend in the first place. Sad, but that's the way it is sometimes.
It seems their smear campaign starts the day you meet them. They are sick twisted souls. Take good care of yourself and much love and light to all the quality kind hearted spirits❤
People are going to believe what they want to believe. If "friends" and family are itching to turn on you, let them, and spend your time where it's not wasted.
The problem I've heard is that usually the "victim" becomes aware of the smear campaign problem too late. By then, the narcissist probably has already recognized your awareness and have initiated the campaign ahead of you, warning people about the fact that you may contact them to "smear" him/her (the narcissist). So your anti-smear campaign may backfire on you and be counterproductive. It's a very delicate issue.
I agree. Unfortunately, your "doing nothing" is probably the best thing to do. If people are ready to believe in airless words, rather than in facts, there is nothing you can do. I had people apologize 10, 20 years later. Does it feel satisfactory? Hell no. But you have to accept that victory can be a completely anti-climactic process.
Educate people reguardless of what the narc does. Eventually they will see 👀for themselves.A rabbit will eventually show that he's a rabbit& enjoys 🥕 eating carrots & a fish who walks out of water, can't continue to lie & say he's 💯% human.Observe his actions,he will eventually run back to the water.🥴
Thanks for sharing your perspective. There is an important point that I would like to make on the subject based on my expereince as a victim of both narcissistic abuse and smear campaigns. It is worth noting that any friend or relative that has known you for years yet fell for lies of your narcissistic partner must be someone that secretly hates you or someone that has narcissistic traits himself or herself. That could even be a sibling or close friend. Any good person would want to hear your side of story first. That means that trying to make them believe you is a total waste of time. The fact that you became a victim of narcissistic abuse could mean that there are chances someone in your family was narcissitic and that caused your codependacy. In fact narcissists know this and will use those members of your family to harm you further. I have analysed the behaviour of many enablers and concluded that they are very narcissistic hence they lack empathy or understanding
The problem is that the narcissist has the ability to suck people into their thought realm - and to forget the truth they already knew. The narcissist has brainwashing ability - and can cause people to lower their standards of how they treat people - and to go against all that they used to believe in.
I don't think people should conduct any kind of smear in retaliation to a smear. It means you are sinking to the same depths of evil where narcissists reside. Take the high road and show that you are unbothered.... Be the sort of person who does not care about what other people think. You shouldn't have to "explain" who you are to anyone. Your light shines through via your actions. People who believe bad things about other people they don't know lack maturity anyway, and you don't need more of that in your life.
Completely Agree 100% That said after suffering from extreme Narcissistic Abuse, many people develop PTSD and often mirror what the Narcissistic did to you. It's why the saying goes "Be careful of the company you keep."
@CrazyJamaicanCook, It is not to “smear” them on the same level, it is to come to people you trust and say hey there’s some turbulence in the relationship right now and don’t believe everything you hear. Tell your trusted one how valuable your relationship means to you. Maybe they’ll relay what the narc says, maybe not. But believe they will make their own decision about you and the circumstance, and that’s in God’s hands. If they love, trust and believe in you, then they will stay on “your side”.
Keep being your happy self & don’t worry about who is smearing your name because the ones that believe the smear campaign are folks that you don’t want in your circle anyways. Be strong & believe in yourself. The way you live is truthful & it will eventually outshine those who are deceitful.
It has been devastating as he chose to do it to my adult children who also isolate and turn against me. Even though they know how bad he is, they are still desperate to win his favour and love…at my expense. Cruelty at the highest level.
I was a narcissist, but I wasn't the one who smear campaigned. I value truth, but that did not prevent me from becoming a narcissist. I got caught in the self-righteousness trap, believing I was doing what I was doing for the right reasons - but what I lacked was compassion. I know better now, and I'm learning. Haven't overcome all my narcissism. I understand why they did what they did. But making up lies against someone because you think they deserve it, is not ok. If you want to take down a narcissistic person, do it with the truth. It's hard for people to take you seriously about a narcissist when they discover you're lying.
Subtly indicating to our friends & my grown kids that I am overly emotional, overly critical of him, I’m selfish . Over 23 years has turned my kids against me. Friends don’t believe me. They had admired & felt sorry for him
The narcissist always plays the victim to extract sympathy from everyone that even might hint at liking you, and everyone in you and their circle.. They steal away everyone because they are envious of all people, and you must be isolated from others so they the narcissist only can shine and control you. He or she is the selfish one. They don't want you to have anything or anyone at all just for yourself. They have to control you with force if necessary, even when you make wise decisions for yourself. They don't love you and love doesn't hurt. You must leave the narcissist even when you are hopeful that he will change over time. Why ? It's plain and simple that you are throwing pearls before swine and Bible admonishes us not to do that. They became a fixed personality type when very young. Their character is of a bad quality. Listen to the Phds experts in NPD on You Tube. Then decide for yourself.
I'm so sadden to hear this , this 1 "friend" called me the devil in her native tongue, my mind was blown away and I told her to never come look for me after the abuse she'll experience
Great self-aware comments here. @Bernita Centeno So True!!! I can only add, that they want to recruit flying monkeys. And courts can become an appendage of flying monkeys, especially in Nanny States where the state prosecutes sometimes without even the knowledge of the victims. DA's in Nanny States like California (e.g. the state acts sometime independently but allegedly on the Accuser's behalf) should have training to spot Narcissistic Abuse before prosecuting phoney claims. Additionally, the state or jurisdiction prosecuting should really contact the Victim, so the Victim is aware of potential backlash from the State or County prosecuting the crime. You would think it would be obvious.
@@bernitacenteno1326 True. This is why being alone isn't so bad... because at the end of the day, who can you really count on?? Yourself... and that's about it. The best revenge is showing them how unbothered you are. I don't need outside validation and I don't need others to shine. I am my own light. They have no inner light and are forced to steal it from others. Pathetic.
Social media smear campaign against me for the past 11/2 year !! It gave me sleepless nights but with time I have stopped caring much and almost give it zero attention coz my grey rock behaviour has not given him any mileage to feed his own ego …. In all this time all his social media friends also have realised his real character n weird behaviour
My narc ex has been running a smear campaign against me for 2.5 years. It's only recently that something inside of me just switched, and I care a LOT less now.
My narcissist and I had a large group of people that we were involved with. I was an emotional wreck in my relationship but I kept it a secret to protect him. I didn't know that he really wanted me to keep it a secret because he was getting involved in the other people in our group, and they believed he was "available", whereas I thought we were an item. Just take my word for it: it was a mess. One day, I had to tell SOMEONE, so I told a girlfriend whom I thought I could trust. She gasped and put her hand on her mouth and said, "So YOU'RE the one who ruined his life". I instantly realized that was what he had told everyone in the group. and the whole group was poisoned against me. As soon as she said that, I said, "Good-bye", and I left the group gathering, and never spoke to one member from there ever again. And, come to think of it, not ONE of those people ever sought me out to see what happened to me. I just disappeared and they didn't miss me.
When you emerge from a narcissist relationship, and you are destroyed and destitute, crying all the time, can't think straight, scared of your own shadow, like a whipped dog, and the narcissists is out there happy, and shining like the sun, it is easy to convince everyone else, that you were the destructive, unstable, crazy person that THEY were "putting up with". As they slowly destroyed you, you lost your mind more and more, and anyone on the inside realized that YOU had a problem, but since you had to keep it a secret, no one know that the problem was the narcissist. And then he continues to let you know that he is going to hurt you, or kill himself, or buddy up to your children, or show up at all your special spots to prevent you from going there, which just keeps the abuse going.
Omg so true. I found out my husband was lying about me to everyone and was so manipulative that in public he wouldn't acknowledge me at all. If I said anything then there was the see told you she's nuts. I defending this awful man and am stuck in this marriage till death. I was 13 when he pursued me he was 21. My parents were abusive and neglectful so I ran right into that pan. Awful how when u learn what's going on which for me took 35- 40 years .I kept trying to change me. Nothing is right when you're with a narc.
janedoe5229, If he threatens to “off” himself, then look him in the eye and say “see ya, more peace for me now!” and walk away. Let him hear how it feels to be devalued. It shows that you’re not an “energy source” for him anymore and that you “see” who he is and what he does. Call him out. Ditch his turbulence. You need peace in your life!
Been through several smear campaigns over the years from friends and family to work place. They are horrendous. I havent learnt gow to fullt manage them yet but you are correct in the advise to focus on the relationships you want to save. Most of the acquaintances and friends/colleagues in common you will lose to the narc as collateral damage unfortunately.
We in this boat together , but still I stand up for myself and what I believe, whether you as a man play victim against 2 woman workers is abuse itself
Thank you Danish for helping me better understand and deal with the narcissist. The smear campaign has taken my children…they are flying monkeys. But my real friends are incredibly supportive and they are always with me. MY dear friends were a huge support for both my childrens weddings . Not any recognition was given since they are MY friends and not close friends with the very convincing and controlling narcissist.
Regarding the end moments of your wonderful enlightened video. How do I deal with being smeared with my children and my …and previous best friend of 40 years? I just let go when the narcissist has pretty much smeared me to them? If so Christmas will be hard on me as always. I’ve worked hard on myself and it’s ongoing but I know there will be no changes in the narcissist or all those flying monkeys who I love so much. He continues to dismiss, insult , put me down,…..etc when my beloved people are here….they are so affected by mr. Know- it -all that I have given up on them…flying monkeys..but yet very intelligent people. Thank God that I still have amazing wonderful friends who always support me. They clearly see the cruelty of the narcissist. As you suggested, I don’t need to say much. They see it often when we’re all together. Unfortunately I also make sure that MY friends are just MY friends. You imply that it’s a good idea. It works well for me. I thank you for your understanding and sharing your knowledge with us all.
I find it difficult because the monkeys are so under the control of the narcissist. Like one person put it they are in narcissistic training. I had to rely solely on Gods help. I was so blindsided by it all. I love your videos,I love your videos they are so helpful. Thanks so much for your time and effort in making them. I know you are helping loads of people. ❤ God Bless you!
I cannot forgive myself for having been so naive and submissive. How could I forgive him ? No way. I prefer feeling angry. Anger keeps me away from him. It had always been my forgiveness that made me fall for all his hooverings. No forgiveness. I had rather remain his enemy.
After I left him, he painted me black wherever he went- family, church, work, etc. Until today none of his relatives have bothered to ask me what happened, including the church where we were leaders!
They’s always a way of exposing the narcissist even if you have wait, get plenty of information on them and write letters to everyone they know telling them how the narc has smeared their name etc …… because sadly we have to take matters into our own hands sometimes we can’t wait for karma because it’s not always served …. An eye for a eye etc
I’ve had to cut my family off: an ex ran to them to smear me, they became buddies, with my mother & two narcissist brothers My true friends told him to buzz off & that he was stupid. Narcissists love other narcissists , the malicious gossip is fuel. My mother knew he was stalking, vandalising my car & property, tried to steal my dog, the smear campaign exposed my mother & her sons as very dangerous people
I've survived 5 smear campaigns in my 66 years. My mother started one against me when I was 19 and my 2 narc sisters have kept it going for almost 5 decades. My landlord is doing the same now because he refuses to provide adequate and appropriate heat in my apt. I've also been approached by a few people in my lifetime to partake in smear campaigns of others. I have one answer for them fuck off! It was a painful experience when I was 19 and nobody was talking about this phenomenon. I just followed my gut and cut off all communication with the narcissists. We are living in the Age Of The Narcissist and I hope everyone learns about them for the whole of society. Two high profile ones are Trump and Amber Heard. Good Luck
Kit same here,just know who you are keep learning and never stop ! “Once you stop learning you start dying” Albert Einstein and another that he most certainly is not famous for but should be is “Earth is the Mental Asylum of the Universe” ❤stay strong,head up and confident The Truth is Good Enough. ❤❤
My sister was emotionally abused by her charming narcissist for many years. Finally she left. I never did like him (he was a butt to us too), but I had kept my opinion to myself. One day she met me for lunch sobbing about everything and I told her that she could come and live with me. She was surprised that I didn't like him, because I was always nice around him and never told her what I thought of him. Later, her adult son called me and asked what was going on. I figured she had moved out so it was no longer a secret so I told the son how emotionally abuse the narcissist had been to her and the rest of the family. Her son said, "Now I understand. You hated him and you talked her into leaving him, and he did nothing wrong!" And the son stopped talking to me.
The son will eventually figure it out for himself. Never forget that the truth never needs defending. It is up to each individual to believe it or not believe it. Stand by the truth and let others walk in darkness until they're ready to see the light. Some people can't or won't see the light because the truth is too painful. These people need prayers and to be accepted as such. Life is a world of discovery and lessons. Best of luck to you and your sister.
I'm a nobody, just your average American woman and widow of 12 years in August. What this man has done to my once respected name. I'm embarrassed to go out to walk the dog or go get milk. I'm being bullied by the public and I have very good reason to believe that he's put up sex videos of me and him the internet. No lawyer will even talk to me. I'm being laughed at in stores almost to my face. I gave up. I keep finding myself explaining myself to certain people and therapists and I'm not getting through to anyone. I shouldn't have to do that and the only one to judge me should only be God because He knows the truth. I just pray several times a day and surrender it all to God. There isn't anything I can do anymore, so I give it to God. The damage is done it's irreparable and irreversible since it's all over the internet.
There are porn stars who are freaking proud of their trade. I mean that sex is a wonderful thing and shouldn't feel ashamed. So these people know you had sex, good for you! Maybe they should go and get some, too, these jealous people are ridiculous 🙄
Just go about your life as usual and don't worry about the sex video. The vast majority of people have sex, it's not a sin. To counter this sex video, start filming yourself doing other mundane tasks like brushing your teeth, hanging out your laundry, taking the rubbish out... because these are also ordinary things almost everyone else does too, and then when you see the people laughing at you, ask them if they've seen your other videos as well.
Geri .... my heart truly goes out for you, just know I'll hold your hand walking outside Like the 2 ladies mentioned, don't worry about these loosers laughing be a Boss B***** Do funny tiktoks recreate the internet to your liking , mock the reactions of those laughing and they will shut up Be strong we are all trying to survive 💪 ✨️
My mom ran a smear campaign against me for three years before she died. To this day, my siblings don't talk to me. They think I'm a mean bitch. All because I stood up to my selfish narcissistic mother and finally put her in her place ( best thing I ever did for myself). Then I went no contact during which time she raged her smear campaign against me. Now I have no way to defend myself. My brother and sisters hate me and won't speak Ill of the dead. My mom continues to control them from the grave.
Sorry for your lost...of peace What helped me was detachment and viewing my siblings as strangers by their name not title or relation. Those people never healed and wouldn't know a victim if the evidence was in their face. No point on wasting energy on them. I say go where you are celebrated not secretly hated Sending love and support for your continued healing 🤗💥
My mother has not died but I know she will keep hurting me beyond her death. I have all my siblings against me and telling everyone I'm nuts. I'm crazy since I can remember (4 years old), how funny one of my sisters dumped her son on me for years to take care of him while she was working, attending classes and being successful in her career. I guess I wasn't crazy enough to take care of a kid and a teenager. Same with the rest of my family who wanted me to become a nurse.
Actually the smear campaign is what freed me in the end. A mutual friend heard my ex telling her new supply in public all kinds of horrible stuff about me and let me know. It was like a bubble was burst. The camels back broke. Its been almost a month and 100s of attempts by different methods to get me to engage with her again. No way!
You should develop social skills and do your best to make as many friends as possible. When people know you and your side of the story, it will be much harder to smear you. If you are an introvert, this can be challenging. But believe me, people can tell who is genuine. You just have to give them a chance to get to know you. Few dumb/willfully ignorant people may not believe you, but it's still worth telling your side. When Narcissists repeat their behavior, people will begin to see the pattern and remember what you told them.
Everything you say is so true. It helps to know that there are some people who understand this narcissistic behavior. It can be very traumatic. Thank you for your help. You are awesome.
If you just wait people will see who they are on their own. If they get to someone first then your trying to defend yourself just makes you look crazy. Just let people find out for themselves. If they care about you they will come back to you and apologize or at least tell you what they now know. This keeps you from being in the drama.
My sister did this starting from birth. She made people hate me and I never even knew this was going on until decades later. She altered the course of my life I’m sure of it but that’s OK because so many good things happened that I truly believe would not otherwise have happened. Success is born from isolation sometimes and karma will come for these people.
I think this is one of the cruelest things anyone can do. I've become afraid to leave my house. I've made an ass out of myself trying to counter their lies. But now I'm in fight mode instead of flight. I'm a good person I just want love and peace.
It's easier to plant an idea on someone else's mind than erase it; mainly because no one likes recognizing they can be wrong or they were fooled. That's the sad truth.
So what do you do when the narcissist has already spread the huge tremendous light every single one that you know and Beyond and then you find yourself one day looking around with no one looking at you straight everyone's looking at you crooked yeah and you have no friends what the hell do you do then?
After people hear lies about me from the narc, do they really Not have the Courage or intelligence to just come to me and ask: "... is that true?" I am glad those people are no longer in my life. They don't deserve my friendship.
Neighbor.. because I refused to bow to her and become her son s booty call or a junkie. Also witnessed and spoke up about child abuse and abandonment of an infant. Ty for the advice... fight fire with 🔥
We did not have common friends and he has never met my family as they all live over 2000 miles away from us. Even though I think he would have to smear me to his inner circle in order to justify leaving me, I will never know because they ( his inner circle) are not or ever have been in my inner circle except for one guy who is the only person common to both of us that I ever seen without my Narc by my side, that my narc told that we had just got a marriage license earlier that day. ( Feb 2020) He (my narc) never told anybody else. I really liked this guy ( the friend) a lot..he is a true aweerheart.. I told him why we ( me and Narc) are not getting married and I think he feels the pain for me..but I also told him if he ever sees the Narc again to stay in friendship..I am just venting..and I was because these people liked seeing us together and that we made a good couple and thought he was a great guy, but I was also saying my goodbyes and explaining why I may never see them again. AKA my own semi smear campaign. just to release poison if nothing else. I also wrote letters to his flying monkeys praising them and the Narc and saying good bye and thanking them for their friendship and the devoted friendship to the Narc. A letter they never expected particularly after a smear campaign. I took the high road//made disconnecting easier for me.. He does have a close friend that speaks worse about him then I do because my narc dated his mother many many moons ago and this friend says he did the same thing to his mother as he has done to me and done to other woman. We are in our 60s, but he stays friends, I have never asked him to do otherwise but he knows not to tell me things I don't want to know, and he doesn't and I told him I would never tell the Narc what ge has told me and I never have. But he never tell the narc either what he really thinks about him, therefore he is somewhat a fying monkey. So I don't care about a smear compaign really, because of the reason stated above no common friends hardly to worry about what hey know... I am trying to move on..I could care less..
This is what I do stand strong be confident and think logically and always be true to yourself and others …..and where possible drop subtle hints to other people that you feel you’ve been wronged by the narcissist and how cruel their behaviour has been towards you. And trust me people will see who the trouble maker bully is because these people love to gossip and no one really likes a gossip, and if your lucky enough to leave the narcissist behind for example move home job etc, give it a few years and write a simple direct letter to as many people that the narcissist knows telling them of the bully narcissistic behaviour and how the narc has wronged them as well because sadly karma isn’t always served by god and these demonic creatures go on destroying many innocent peoples lives ❤
I'm a proud Sigma and awaken Super Empath💪. I was so unconscious of my natural powers before. Thank you nrcs!🌷 I'm not a victim at all & narcs had always hard time with me, doesn't matter how much involved I was and what kind of relation it was. I don't give a monkey if someone going to far. But I'm that kind of person that I'm able to dessappear anytime if I'm not happy or not well treated. Doesn't matter if it's about places, people or work. I know who I am, what is right, what is wrong, what I deserve. Low standards, unjustice and bad energy is not acceptable to me. In my life I used to deal with few types of narcs and with one criminal sociopat as well. The last one were running away from me with shaked a*s. I'm not rude or agressive but I can be two times worst than that kind of creatures if I want. In my opinion, depend on situation, with narc smear campaign You can: 1) Stand up for yourself. With that you should switch off emotions (as much as possible ofcourse), switch on logic, plan your moves like a chess master. And be yourself, don't play any role. The truth will be heard. 2) Ignore it and live your life. Be yourself. Let people choose what they want to believe. Watch a natural selection of people around you. You will see who is your real soulmate, who will come to you. Learn, analise, take your lessons, grow, work with your self-esteam and core-identity, heal. Do something nice for yourself. Go with no contact (Necessary for most of Empaths to heal). Everything is for something. Our experiences creates us. After all I'v got, I'm not affraid of them and I'm happy I had them on my path. Thanks to them I'm stronger than ever and I'm a better version of myself. I believe it's a normal proces with all Empaths who has to deal with narcs. If you will survive that, if you will stay strong, you will get only stronger. You will survive. Just be brave, my friends💪❤💪❤💪❤ God bless you❤️
People need to realize that if happy, confident people say bad things about someone, it's not necessarily true because a happy, confident person must be right. In my case, an old school teacher was even visited to tell disturbing stories about me and unfortunately she immediately sided with the smear campaigner. My impression is that they try it first with people who don't know you very well. I think the whole village I grew up in now thinks I'm a terrible evil creature. I don't mind.
I had to deal with one. It was crazy, but very few people believed him. I ignored it as much as possible. The more I ignored it, the less attention was given to his smear campaign
Do narcissists who know you try to destroy you together? I was scapegoated by my mother at around 6. She really hated me As a teen she was always on the phone. I thought she was talking about my bone disease and I walked by and said "will you stop talking about me!" As an adult It was clear she was smear campaigning me. I married the man she wanted me to marry who is a narcissist and it has been hell ever since. My mother died a few months ago and it has been incredibly stressful. She always made my daughter and think that she was practically broke-we never thought that their was any will and I never had any relationship with my brothers who went to college and left the state. I ended up finding out that I am in the will and she was very wealthy. My older brother who got to know my daughter and me wanted me to divorce my husband and after her death calling and asking "Are you done with your doctor and dentist appointments". "I have to get a cleaning then I'll be done." "Well hurry up, I am waiting for moms lawyer to call and I will let you know when he does." I called my mothers lawyer a few weeks later and he was concerned that he hadn't heard anything from my brothers. My older brother refuses to answere my calls and it has been 2 months since my mothers death. My daughter tried to kill herself last night and she is in a place for 3 days. We just want to get out of this toxic environment and we are beginning to lose hope for the future. Narcissitic abuse is never ending and no laughing matter!
My narcissist ex did the same with his ex when we got together, he played victim saying she put him down constantly and that's why he had to wear the best of clothes etc. I realised down the line, he was very materialistic, it had nothing to do with his ex. I already know he's doing the same with me, but I choose not to react. I'm glad I left him, he caused too much drama and it was hell. I should have left sooner 😊
Half of my smear campaign was in my own family. I saw these people maybe once or twice a year. Thats how much they knew me. They were going by what my mother told them which was based on delusion made up in her mind. She knew NOTHING about me based on reality. They all bought it hook line and sinker. I now Completely understand when you hear of people who detach from family for good and go off on their own. I told a few - I knew who I was and didnt care what they believed. I wasted way too many years concerned about what the rest thought who were making snap judgements about me. Terrible.
He'll look like a dummy trying to smear me! No sexual contact with him and when he tried hoovering, shut him down! Notified people all along the way....
How can you tell the difference between a smear campaign and someone genuinely venting truthfully about someone? That's something that has always been hard for me to discern. I end up falling for the story of the person lying and not figuring it out until later
The smear campaign always seeks to discredit someone's potential or actual rebuttal in a preemptive fashion. Plus they continuously spin stories about a target and what they did to other people. It is not hard to discern if you pay attention to detail.
The head narcissist is my mother and she has turned all of my family against me and everyone she has found out that I know. I now will never accept any of her family members into my life and to me they will never exist. She keeps trying to throw their names in my face when. She calls. She slso keeps trying to find out wherever I go and who I know or meet. She is incorrigible.
I went to meet her family for the first time for Thanksgiving dinner and her niece said to me always this your new girlfriend the one that we heard the recording on when she was yelling at you and cussing at you, in the earlier stages of her waiting for me to react to her poking the bear and trying to provoke me to abuse her cuz that's what they want so that they can point the finger and go see I told you you're crazy I told you you're you're violent that's what they do this is their soul mission is to destroy two struck and devour and then before you know it you're in survival mode unaware ,I started to fight bk yelling n cussing n she sat down after poking everyday, I flipped n she was recording me several occasions so meeting her family I was greeted by a niece saying you was on my aunt's phone fussing at her I was so fueled but powerless embarrassed in shock.
Saddest is when you find out way too late, and haven't been able to save your own child from their other parent. The damage starts when they are young. They become brainwashed, as the narc has turned them against you. My thoughts is they who are dark, n don't see the light will have to answer for it eventually.
Sometimes we can afford to loose. Because the narcissist didn’t think about 1. TIME its effects. 2. FEELINGS things change. I. E. Attitudes and outlook. Example. What’s important to me today might be gone tomorrow. By no choice mind you. Unfair consequences may incur. 3. UNKNOWNS these really boggle a narcissistic person. They just can’t figure out all the details ahead of time. And time heals wounds. Meaning, they can make us feel like crap today, whereas tomorrow they might fail. Just because life changes peoples attitudes on the regular. 😁💯👈🏻
Unfortunately, My Adult son has been believing my husband since we got married 15 yr ago. I tried to tell him. My covert Narcissist husband has been doing this smear campaign right from beginning.
Before divorce you have to convince your parents and siblings. You have to give them clarity. You have to inform your relatives about their lies with proof
I think I'm on the right track I was thinking of a similar anti smear campaign I lost friends that I thought were friends atleast we never had the same circle of friends but atleast 2 friendships ended and 1 remained we are survivors together from different narcissist. His mother still sends good morning memes but I just ignore and hopefully his stories will add up as he is the worst lyer can't keep a story. I know there's a smear campaign with his dumb friends but narcs love narcs In the internal work is abit harder some days than other . Great video
I had a friend whom I believe is a narcissist. I do not have anything to do with her now. I wanted to go and hoped her mother with something and her mother told me that her daughter said I do not take care of myself but busy caring for others. I do take care of myself and it brings joy to my soul helping others.
The people will not believe , this is how I felt . I think that trying to clear your own name is harder. Instead focus on ones own mental health and trauma healing with therapists. Work on ones self. Maybe those folks that dont believe in you where never true friends.
The people they con always say she never was like that to them so they keep trusting them and tell her everything she wants to know about me Meanwhile they think she is their friend.
Thank you sir 4 ur advice 🙏. I glad 2 know that I m on right path,I m not in touch of any professional....I knew about narcissistic,,a few times ago & I m doing these 2 stragity without telling him anything.
How do I deal with a friend who i collaborated with musically who then deserted me for petty reason, and he has been slandering me to the our crowd fan base and mutual musician friends of ours in the same music scene?
Hmm. It's maybe worth considering a few things before using this strategy. 1. Your true friends won't need buffering before they hear nonsense about you 2. So what you'd be doing with this strategy is activating your own campaign to salvage superficial relationships in your life. And 3. Narcissistic people who aren't aware of themselves would be using this exact same rationale to justify what we'd be calling a smear campaign when they do it and damage control when we do it. To me, the advice in this video seems like a surefire way to get caught up in the web of drama a narcissistic person aims to cause in your life. It might be better to take your power back instead. You can let the narcissistic person in your life who's trying to run a smear campaign against you do the work for you as they weed out the superficial relationships you really don't need anyway if you're intending to live more authentically post-abuse.
My ex narcissist husband indulged in very dirty smear campaigns against me after I left him. I was somewhat disturbed no doubt, but I just did not bother. I knew for sure that people who knew me well would not believe him and the people who were likely to believe did not matter to me. I was correct because he could not influence even his own siblings.
You are wrong. Old me: trying hard to make them happy New me: To hell with u. But it took away 20 years of my life. Lost a lot in this pricess. Only because i did not have knowledge abt narc. I cud not figure out. Narc is the problem not me
I've stopped trying to defend myself. People will think what they want to think. Now I am just holding my head high and remember who I am. Funk those flying monkeys!
I like what you said here. At work I wrote my boss a letter outlining how a smear campaign meeting went. But I want you to know I left that job soon after as I did not see any way forward for me. I never regretted that departure.
I had a smear campaign against me at work, by my covert narc ex. The first sign was that some managers/co-workers were treating me differently. I knew that my narc had been feeding half-truths to these people. The thing about narcs is that they ALWAYS slip up, and I knew that would be the case with mine. Sure enough, 2 years later, my division head pulls me in for a chat and says "_____ would like you to respect their boundaries", to which I laid it ALL out. What actually happened was that, after 2 years no-contact, my narc ex initiated a conversation with me in front of other colleagues, to which I responded neutrally and then went about my day. They cried wolf to their manager, and their manager took it to my division head, which is something they probably weren't expecting. They then omitted the fact that they approached me. I called it out. They were shut down, and their flying monkeys were spoken to. My work relationships have drastically improved since. The thing that worked for me was giving no reaction and INTENTIONALLY NOT DEFENDING MYSELF UNTIL IT WAS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. I let them run with their narrative until they slipped up.
What do you do when they go to family,convince people in the community your a bad person, or did wrong,then family know they are abusing,and isolating you,keeping you from your career, coercive control,but they all somehow believe the person is just trying to get justice, they actually protect them by gaslighting me,and denying knowing anything about it,never spoken too about anything, I don't believe there allowed to,very frustrating, and a nightmare situation.
Good advice on the surface but deep down the reality is that a thorough narcissist will start with her best friends, then go her side of family, then together with those flying monkeys trap the kids and you loose all of them. You can drop her family, drop friends (n loose yours too) but kids? Please don’t try to explain yourself it will fire back n just be yourself n kids will slowly get back. Rest can go to hell, good riddance!!
Fortunately, for me, my close relatives did not believe the narcissist. One called me and told me what was being said. I was flabbergasted. This was my sister. It hurt. I explained what had actually happened and they believed me, saying they had noticed my sister had always been jealous of me and, that lately, she had become vicious. It still hurts.
It’s all about value. Turn your attention and energy inwards and to people who are your people. And keep a record book of the flying monkeys. Remember that they believed the narcissist lies over your truth. Whenever they reach out for your help, don’t come running to them. Remind them that they were on the narcissist side. And for that reason alone, they are dead to you.
Dear Danish how come are you talking to me in every video ! Yesterday i stumbled upon your channel and believe me first time i have felt like there is somebody who understands my condition .Im 24 year medical graduate stuck with my narcissistic father .He is not a human he is a wild dog .He has killed me everyday in these 24 years .😭😭😭 Im looking for ways to leave n heal myself ... Thanku so much ... Please keep making these videos they are really helpful ❤️❤️
And now my son is showing signs of being like this in her favor. He lives here and is telling her what she wants to know. I know I cannot trust even him. There is no escape for me
Forgiving a narcassist is not easy at least for me. I tried various times that I should forgive my father when others family elders insured on me. Several times I said verbally to others and myself too that yes I forgave him but after few days the pain again emerged and I trashed that forgiveness. Especially when he is not ready to even accept any of his sin. So forgiving a narcassist is a betrayal u did to ur self. I did it many times. But somehow I did not find a closure. I found a desire a string desire of karma type revenge especially after realising my mother psychological murder he did and same pattern repeating with me. Why I m waiting for his bad time. This wait keeps me somehow connected with him.
I left my evil ex this week and now he's going g true fri3nds to smear me in retaliation over being butthurt being dumped for not listening and walking away
My narc husband wanted control of the money I inherited from my father. He is a very good actor and he went on telling the friends that he's not keeping well, that he was 70 yrs old and I am not sharing my money with him. All of them came to ask me whst I wanted to do with the money if you can't buy comfort for the family.
@drnirjasheth, tell them that it is none of their business, you are considering things, and when you come to a decision that you will act upon it. I’m glad your father’s money is in your name. Use it well. ☮️
What are your experiences with this?
Yes, my children have been charmed & believe him. I’m sad that it is too late
Hello Danish really liked your video . Wish I had done this first . Mine smear started at begin of covid cos abuse narc neighbour. I saw the rage once I started ignoring is tactics and more less saying no by putting up boundaries . It's still going on but I'm going out . It's awful and worrying time . I have been triangulated as well .it certainly touches truama from childhood because I think similar happen when child but I did not know what was going on . Not understand it . I always thought narsist. Was about vanity . I do think the bit about love self helps .
He has a smear campaign against me with my daughter (when he isn’t narc abusing them). he has smeared me in court and outside of it by attacking my Disability (I have Multiple Sclerosis) and has started a smear campaign at their school but they are well aware of his abuse and have protected themselves since kindergarten. He didn’t want custody at all but will attack everything I do as a mother to raise a child (doctor choices, hair cuts, clothing, school grades, everything is my fault but he hasn’t actually raised our child at all, just has a visitation schedule).
I have managed to implement many techniques for the past 8 years and now have very little contact with him but smearing and ruining important events is his favorite game. With my child, his favorite games are different and I am trying my best to help them too. It doesn’t change the night terrors, panic attacks or feeling of drowning whenever he contacts me. Those still haven’t subsided. I think he also enjoys flaring my MS and seeing me sicker bc of his abuse and enjoys telling me how I messed up and tries to “replace memories” that “I never remember happening, bc remember? You have MS? You can’t think correctly? Right?”
Thank you for your videos. When he Hoovers now, I simply go to your Instagram and watch your videos and it helps a lot, especially when it’s happening in the moment and you need a sound voice. If there are any videos on how to co parent and also support and protect your child, I would appreciate the guidance.
What is the answer when The lies and gossip lead to threats of harm, vandleism, poisoning of pets ,and theft of property???
My ex and his family tried to turn our daughter against me. They've pretty much succeeded. She's grown now and I don't see her or my grandson very often. It breaks my heart, but there's not much I can do. It's been a long hard road out of hell... but when she turned 18, I was finally able to block him everywhere and cut ties with his family completely. Now, I just have to deal with a toxic work situation. It never ends...
if anybody would believe the narcissist nonsense, let them go because they were already looking for a reason to dislike you. that or they are narcissists themselves.
I think maybe it's best to just cut your losses and make new friends. Hopefully the new friends won't turn out to also be narcissists.
What if it Is your career? Sometimes forcing you to leave is the point if the smear campaign.
Yes but see the BIGGER picture is they were planning and plotting exactly what they were going to say in the smear campaign they knew exactly who they are going to start manipulating first in the smear campaign because all of these things are being conjured up during those sporadic moments of the silent treatment, they are fabricating lies to ensure that they're flying monkeys catch an earful, especially the good stories where you have told them something that may have been painful that you experienced and you confided in them and they turn it around and they make it horrible horrible thing and unbeknownst to us, they go straight behind our back to our family members and they will tell them flat-out bold-faced lies to where we are looking at ourselves and our family members are looking at us like damn are y'all crazy the manipulative tactics are far beyond the basic he said she said,WHEN A FAMILY MEMBER SIBLINGS KNOWS YOU AND YOU HAD A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP UPBRINGING AND GOT ALONG BETTER THAN ANY OTHER,AND THEY QUESTION WHAT WAS HEARD OR TOLD TO THEM BY THE NARC,OH NO THAT LOOK ON THE FACE OF OUR LOVED ONE HAS THE AUDACITY TO ACTUALLY HAVE ANY CAPACITY FILLING THEIR HEADSPACE, TO EVEN QUESTION US,OR BETTER YET,we share something with the Narc about a family or friend I'm confidence right we may not even realize they remembered UNTIL YOU HEAR THAT PERSON CONFRONTING YOU ASKING WHY THE HELL DID U TELL MY BUSINESS I TOLD YOU N ONLY YOU,NOW MY EX TOOK THAT INFO TWEAKING IT MAKING IT SOUND LIKE NOT ONLY DID I SHARE THE INFO,BUT I DOWNPLAYED IT N MADE IT SOUND WORSE OR DISGUSTING,
It’s easier said then done when those people are your kids!!
Cost me my last false "friend" and let me gain many new true friends.
To be honest, I explained it to a few people and they simply chose to not believe me. Even if they had all the evidence in front of them. I think people prefer to believe in lies and call me crazy rather than confronting the uncomfortable true. It's sad but helped me in cleaning my trust circle.
@Caroline L , hmm exactly that has been my experience and I feel so re traumatized by it and I’m struggling to get out of the shock . Evil evil evil dark souls working nonstop to destroy others 😢
Yes...my experience too.
I think a lot of people experience that. You can't control the way someone else thinks. Someone who chooses to believe lies perpetrated against you without evidence was never your friend in the first place. Sad, but that's the way it is sometimes.
@@stuartwigmore3738 and a really hard life lesson to learn. And I'm in my 50's!
@@floridagirl5250 Tell me about it. I'm nearly 60 myself. I didn't think people like that existed out there.
It seems their smear campaign starts the day you meet them. They are sick twisted souls. Take good care of yourself and much love and light to all the quality kind hearted spirits❤
Ty
We need that. Hugs to you.
People are going to believe what they want to believe. If "friends" and family are itching to turn on you, let them, and spend your time where it's not wasted.
Yes, true. It's happened to me. Family turned on me because I went no contact with my narcissist mom.
The problem I've heard is that usually the "victim" becomes aware of the smear campaign problem too late. By then, the narcissist probably has already recognized your awareness and have initiated the campaign ahead of you, warning people about the fact that you may contact them to "smear" him/her (the narcissist). So your anti-smear campaign may backfire on you and be counterproductive. It's a very delicate issue.
This is a great view on this topic 👌
Very true.
I agree. Unfortunately, your "doing nothing" is probably the best thing to do. If people are ready to believe in airless words, rather than in facts, there is nothing you can do. I had people apologize 10, 20 years later. Does it feel satisfactory? Hell no. But you have to accept that victory can be a completely anti-climactic process.
Educate people reguardless of what the narc does.
Eventually they will see 👀for themselves.A rabbit will eventually show that he's a rabbit& enjoys 🥕 eating carrots & a fish who walks out of water, can't continue to lie & say he's 💯% human.Observe his actions,he will eventually run back to the water.🥴
Yep....that happened to me....the narcissist had been telling crap on my family and me, for MANY years, BEHIND our backs.
When stand up to them with your boundaries they start smear
Thanks for sharing your perspective. There is an important point that I would like to make on the subject based on my expereince as a victim of both narcissistic abuse and smear campaigns. It is worth noting that any friend or relative that has known you for years yet fell for lies of your narcissistic partner must be someone that secretly hates you or someone that has narcissistic traits himself or herself. That could even be a sibling or close friend. Any good person would want to hear your side of story first. That means that trying to make them believe you is a total waste of time. The fact that you became a victim of narcissistic abuse could mean that there are chances someone in your family was narcissitic and that caused your codependacy. In fact narcissists know this and will use those members of your family to harm you further. I have analysed the behaviour of many enablers and concluded that they are very narcissistic hence they lack empathy or understanding
💯💯💯💯 True now I'm going through similar situation, trusting anyone is like taking poison knowingly.
Yes that happened to me. Your true friends will love you and stand by you.
The problem is that the narcissist has the ability to suck people into their thought realm - and to forget the truth they already knew. The narcissist has brainwashing ability - and can cause people to lower their standards of how they treat people - and to go against all that they used to believe in.
I don't think people should conduct any kind of smear in retaliation to a smear. It means you are sinking to the same depths of evil where narcissists reside. Take the high road and show that you are unbothered.... Be the sort of person who does not care about what other people think. You shouldn't have to "explain" who you are to anyone. Your light shines through via your actions. People who believe bad things about other people they don't know lack maturity anyway, and you don't need more of that in your life.
Completely Agree 100%
That said after suffering from extreme Narcissistic Abuse, many people develop PTSD and often mirror what the Narcissistic did to you. It's why the saying goes "Be careful of the company you keep."
Absolutely!
Agree 100%.
@CrazyJamaicanCook, It is not to “smear” them on the same level, it is to come to people you trust and say hey there’s some turbulence in the relationship right now and don’t believe everything you hear. Tell your trusted one how valuable your relationship means to you. Maybe they’ll relay what the narc says, maybe not. But believe they will make their own decision about you and the circumstance, and that’s in God’s hands. If they love, trust and believe in you, then they will stay on “your side”.
Keep being your happy self & don’t worry about who is smearing your name because the ones that believe the smear campaign are folks that you don’t want in your circle anyways. Be strong & believe in yourself. The way you live is truthful & it will eventually outshine those who are deceitful.
It has been devastating as he chose to do it to my adult children who also isolate and turn against me. Even though they know how bad he is, they are still desperate to win his favour and love…at my expense. Cruelty at the highest level.
Im so sorry
I was a narcissist, but I wasn't the one who smear campaigned.
I value truth, but that did not prevent me from becoming a narcissist. I got caught in the self-righteousness trap, believing I was doing what I was doing for the right reasons - but what I lacked was compassion. I know better now, and I'm learning. Haven't overcome all my narcissism. I understand why they did what they did. But making up lies against someone because you think they deserve it, is not ok.
If you want to take down a narcissistic person, do it with the truth. It's hard for people to take you seriously about a narcissist when they discover you're lying.
It is painful but I do not care any more.
So happy for you
Subtly indicating to our friends & my grown kids that I am overly emotional, overly critical of him, I’m selfish . Over 23 years has turned my kids against me. Friends don’t believe me. They had admired & felt sorry for him
I know how painful it must be for you. Sending you a lot of strength
The narcissist always plays the victim to extract sympathy from everyone that even might hint at liking you, and everyone in you and their circle.. They steal away everyone because they are envious of all people, and you must be isolated from others so they the narcissist only can shine and control you. He or she is the selfish one. They don't want you to have anything or anyone at all just for yourself. They have to control you with force if necessary, even when you make wise decisions for yourself. They don't love you and love doesn't hurt. You must leave the narcissist even when you are hopeful that he will change over time. Why ? It's plain and simple that you are throwing pearls before swine and Bible admonishes us not to do that. They became a fixed personality type when very young. Their character is of a bad quality. Listen to the Phds experts in NPD on You Tube. Then decide for yourself.
I'm so sadden to hear this , this 1 "friend" called me the devil in her native tongue, my mind was blown away and I told her to never come look for me after the abuse she'll experience
Great self-aware comments here.
@Bernita Centeno So True!!!
I can only add, that they want to recruit flying monkeys.
And courts can become an appendage of flying monkeys, especially in Nanny States where the state prosecutes sometimes without even the knowledge of the victims. DA's in Nanny States like California (e.g. the state acts sometime independently but allegedly on the Accuser's behalf) should have training to spot Narcissistic Abuse before prosecuting phoney claims. Additionally, the state or jurisdiction prosecuting should really contact the Victim, so the Victim is aware of potential backlash from the State or County prosecuting the crime.
You would think it would be obvious.
@@bernitacenteno1326 True. This is why being alone isn't so bad... because at the end of the day, who can you really count on?? Yourself... and that's about it. The best revenge is showing them how unbothered you are. I don't need outside validation and I don't need others to shine. I am my own light. They have no inner light and are forced to steal it from others. Pathetic.
Social media smear campaign against me for the past 11/2 year !! It gave me sleepless nights but with time I have stopped caring much and almost give it zero attention coz my grey rock behaviour has not given him any mileage to feed his own ego …. In all this time all his social media friends also have realised his real character n weird behaviour
👍
My narc ex has been running a smear campaign against me for 2.5 years. It's only recently that something inside of me just switched, and I care a LOT less now.
My narcissist and I had a large group of people that we were involved with. I was an emotional wreck in my relationship but I kept it a secret to protect him. I didn't know that he really wanted me to keep it a secret because he was getting involved in the other people in our group, and they believed he was "available", whereas I thought we were an item. Just take my word for it: it was a mess. One day, I had to tell SOMEONE, so I told a girlfriend whom I thought I could trust. She gasped and put her hand on her mouth and said, "So YOU'RE the one who ruined his life". I instantly realized that was what he had told everyone in the group. and the whole group was poisoned against me. As soon as she said that, I said, "Good-bye", and I left the group gathering, and never spoke to one member from there ever again. And, come to think of it, not ONE of those people ever sought me out to see what happened to me. I just disappeared and they didn't miss me.
Kindred soul
Same here, except most of my friends and family are dead. The small group that is left is only the people, we have known a few years or a few months
Im sorry
When you emerge from a narcissist relationship, and you are destroyed and destitute, crying all the time, can't think straight, scared of your own shadow, like a whipped dog, and the narcissists is out there happy, and shining like the sun, it is easy to convince everyone else, that you were the destructive, unstable, crazy person that THEY were "putting up with". As they slowly destroyed you, you lost your mind more and more, and anyone on the inside realized that YOU had a problem, but since you had to keep it a secret, no one know that the problem was the narcissist. And then he continues to let you know that he is going to hurt you, or kill himself, or buddy up to your children, or show up at all your special spots to prevent you from going there, which just keeps the abuse going.
Omg so true. I found out my husband was lying about me to everyone and was so manipulative that in public he wouldn't acknowledge me at all. If I said anything then there was the see told you she's nuts. I defending this awful man and am stuck in this marriage till death. I was 13 when he pursued me he was 21. My parents were abusive and neglectful so I ran right into that pan. Awful how when u learn what's going on which for me took 35- 40 years .I kept trying to change me. Nothing is right when you're with a narc.
I'm so sorry. For everything you've suffered.
janedoe5229, If he threatens to “off” himself, then look him in the eye and say “see ya, more peace for me now!” and walk away. Let him hear how it feels to be devalued. It shows that you’re not an “energy source” for him anymore and that you “see” who he is and what he does. Call him out. Ditch his turbulence. You need peace in your life!
Been through several smear campaigns over the years from friends and family to work place. They are horrendous. I havent learnt gow to fullt manage them yet but you are correct in the advise to focus on the relationships you want to save. Most of the acquaintances and friends/colleagues in common you will lose to the narc as collateral damage unfortunately.
We in this boat together , but still I stand up for myself and what I believe, whether you as a man play victim against 2 woman workers is abuse itself
Me too. I've learned how not to GAF. Narcissists are pathetic. They can try me, and they might win the battle but they won't win the war.
Thank you Danish for helping me better understand and deal with the narcissist. The smear campaign has taken my children…they are flying monkeys.
But my real friends are incredibly supportive and they are always with me. MY dear friends were a huge support for both my childrens weddings . Not any recognition was given since they are MY friends and not close friends with the very convincing and controlling narcissist.
Regarding the end moments of your wonderful enlightened video. How do I deal with being smeared with my children and my …and previous best friend of 40 years? I just let go when the narcissist has pretty much smeared me to them?
If so Christmas will be hard on me as always. I’ve worked hard on myself and it’s ongoing but I know there will be no changes in the narcissist or all those flying monkeys who I love so much.
He continues to dismiss, insult , put me down,…..etc when my beloved people are here….they are so affected by mr. Know- it -all that I have given up on them…flying monkeys..but yet very intelligent people.
Thank God that I still have amazing wonderful friends who always support me. They clearly see the cruelty of the narcissist. As you suggested, I don’t need to say much. They see it often when we’re all together. Unfortunately I also make sure that MY friends are just MY friends. You imply that it’s a good idea. It works well for me.
I thank you for your understanding and sharing your knowledge with us all.
People are so stupid. It’s so obvious. The narc devalues you right in front of them and they say you’re the abuser
I find it difficult because the monkeys are so under the control of the narcissist. Like one person put it they are in narcissistic training. I had to rely solely on Gods help. I was so blindsided by it all. I love your videos,I love your videos they are so helpful. Thanks so much for your time and effort in making them. I know you are helping loads of people. ❤ God Bless you!
I cannot forgive myself for having been so naive and submissive. How could I forgive him ?
No way.
I prefer feeling angry.
Anger keeps me away from him.
It had always been my forgiveness that made me fall for all his hooverings.
No forgiveness.
I had rather remain his enemy.
After I left him, he painted me black wherever he went- family, church, work, etc. Until today none of his relatives have bothered to ask me what happened, including the church where we were leaders!
I gave it to The Lord and let Him sort it out. By the end they were all demoted, and I was promoted to a much nicer place.
Loving God and self is the answer. Love is the answer !
The biggest issue with heavy Narcissistic Abuse, is Narcissism is unfortunately contageous in many situations.
They’s always a way of exposing the narcissist even if you have wait, get plenty of information on them and write letters to everyone they know telling them how the narc has smeared their name etc …… because sadly we have to take matters into our own hands sometimes we can’t wait for karma because it’s not always served …. An eye for a eye etc
I’ve had to cut my family off: an ex ran to them to smear me, they became buddies, with my mother & two narcissist brothers
My true friends told him to buzz off & that he was stupid.
Narcissists love other narcissists , the malicious gossip is fuel.
My mother knew he was stalking, vandalising my car & property, tried to steal my dog, the smear campaign exposed my mother & her sons as very dangerous people
I've survived 5 smear campaigns in my 66 years. My mother started one against me when I was 19 and my 2 narc sisters have kept it going for almost 5 decades. My landlord is doing the same now because he refuses to provide adequate and appropriate heat in my apt. I've also been approached by a few people in my lifetime to partake in smear campaigns of others. I have one answer for them fuck off! It was a painful experience when I was 19 and nobody was talking about this phenomenon. I just followed my gut and cut off all communication with the narcissists. We are living in the Age Of The Narcissist and I hope everyone learns about them for the whole of society. Two high profile ones are Trump and Amber Heard. Good Luck
Kit same here,just know who you are keep learning and never stop ! “Once you stop learning you start dying” Albert Einstein and another that he most certainly is not famous for but should be is “Earth is the Mental Asylum of the Universe” ❤stay strong,head up and confident The Truth is Good Enough. ❤❤
My sister was emotionally abused by her charming narcissist for many years. Finally she left. I never did like him (he was a butt to us too), but I had kept my opinion to myself. One day she met me for lunch sobbing about everything and I told her that she could come and live with me. She was surprised that I didn't like him, because I was always nice around him and never told her what I thought of him. Later, her adult son called me and asked what was going on. I figured she had moved out so it was no longer a secret so I told the son how emotionally abuse the narcissist had been to her and the rest of the family. Her son said, "Now I understand. You hated him and you talked her into leaving him, and he did nothing wrong!" And the son stopped talking to me.
The son will eventually figure it out for himself. Never forget that the truth never needs defending. It is up to each individual to believe it or not believe it. Stand by the truth and let others walk in darkness until they're ready to see the light. Some people can't or won't see the light because the truth is too painful. These people need prayers and to be accepted as such. Life is a world of discovery and lessons. Best of luck to you and your sister.
Good riddance.
Wow
A mutual friend tried very hard to push me to go to a psychiatrist, now I understand why, it’s my stbx narc husband’s idea……
They do this by using lawyers and doctors etc... So they can get what's yours
I'm a nobody, just your average American woman and widow of 12 years in August. What this man has done to my once respected name. I'm embarrassed to go out to walk the dog or go get milk. I'm being bullied by the public and I have very good reason to believe that he's put up sex videos of me and him the internet. No lawyer will even talk to me. I'm being laughed at in stores almost to my face. I gave up. I keep finding myself explaining myself to certain people and therapists and I'm not getting through to anyone. I shouldn't have to do that and the only one to judge me should only be God because He knows the truth. I just pray several times a day and surrender it all to God. There isn't anything I can do anymore, so I give it to God. The damage is done it's irreparable and irreversible since it's all over the internet.
Geri I'm sorry . Just go out don't care what they say . Your integrity will pull you through.
Geri I find God helps . He knows truth . ♥️
There are porn stars who are freaking proud of their trade. I mean that sex is a wonderful thing and shouldn't feel ashamed. So these people know you had sex, good for you! Maybe they should go and get some, too, these jealous people are ridiculous 🙄
Just go about your life as usual and don't worry about the sex video. The vast majority of people have sex, it's not a sin. To counter this sex video, start filming yourself doing other mundane tasks like brushing your teeth, hanging out your laundry, taking the rubbish out... because these are also ordinary things almost everyone else does too, and then when you see the people laughing at you, ask them if they've seen your other videos as well.
Geri .... my heart truly goes out for you, just know I'll hold your hand walking outside
Like the 2 ladies mentioned, don't worry about these loosers laughing be a Boss B*****
Do funny tiktoks recreate the internet to your liking , mock the reactions of those laughing and they will shut up
Be strong we are all trying to survive 💪 ✨️
Narc did this at work, smeared. I suppose ruination is their goal.
My mom ran a smear campaign against me for three years before she died. To this day, my siblings don't talk to me. They think I'm a mean bitch. All because I stood up to my selfish narcissistic mother and finally put her in her place ( best thing I ever did for myself). Then I went no contact during which time she raged her smear campaign against me. Now I have no way to defend myself. My brother and sisters hate me and won't speak Ill of the dead. My mom continues to control them from the grave.
Sorry for your lost...of peace
What helped me was detachment and viewing my siblings as strangers by their name not title or relation.
Those people never healed and wouldn't know a victim if the evidence was in their face.
No point on wasting energy on them.
I say go where you are celebrated not secretly hated
Sending love and support for your continued healing 🤗💥
My mother has not died but I know she will keep hurting me beyond her death. I have all my siblings against me and telling everyone I'm nuts.
I'm crazy since I can remember (4 years old), how funny one of my sisters dumped her son on me for years to take care of him while she was working, attending classes and being successful in her career.
I guess I wasn't crazy enough to take care of a kid and a teenager. Same with the rest of my family who wanted me to become a nurse.
Actually the smear campaign is what freed me in the end. A mutual friend heard my ex telling her new supply in public all kinds of horrible stuff about me and let me know. It was like a bubble was burst. The camels back broke. Its been almost a month and 100s of attempts by different methods to get me to engage with her again. No way!
You should develop social skills and do your best to make as many friends as possible. When people know you and your side of the story, it will be much harder to smear you. If you are an introvert, this can be challenging. But believe me, people can tell who is genuine. You just have to give them a chance to get to know you. Few dumb/willfully ignorant people may not believe you, but it's still worth telling your side. When Narcissists repeat their behavior, people will begin to see the pattern and remember what you told them.
Everything you say is so true. It helps to know that there are some people who understand this narcissistic behavior. It can be very traumatic. Thank you for your help. You are awesome.
If you just wait people will see who they are on their own. If they get to someone first then your trying to defend yourself just makes you look crazy. Just let people find out for themselves. If they care about you they will come back to you and apologize or at least tell you what they now know. This keeps you from being in the drama.
My sister did this starting from birth. She made people hate me and I never even knew this was going on until decades later. She altered the course of my life I’m sure of it but that’s OK because so many good things happened that I truly believe would not otherwise have happened. Success is born from isolation sometimes and karma will come for these people.
I think this is one of the cruelest things anyone can do. I've become afraid to leave my house. I've made an ass out of myself trying to counter their lies. But now I'm in fight mode instead of flight. I'm a good person I just want love and peace.
You are loved
It's easier to plant an idea on someone else's mind than erase it; mainly because no one likes recognizing they can be wrong or they were fooled.
That's the sad truth.
So what do you do when the narcissist has already spread the huge tremendous light every single one that you know and Beyond and then you find yourself one day looking around with no one looking at you straight everyone's looking at you crooked yeah and you have no friends what the hell do you do then?
I nearly died . It got rea
Ly dangerous. This I only startedcos I stood up to narc boundaries
He says stuff about everyone.😅 He now smears his new gal.❤ emotional blackmail it's called.
After people hear lies about me from the narc, do they really Not have the Courage or intelligence to just come to me and ask: "... is that true?"
I am glad those people are no longer in my life. They don't deserve my friendship.
Neighbor.. because I refused to bow to her and become her son s booty call or a junkie. Also witnessed and spoke up about child abuse and abandonment of an infant. Ty for the advice... fight fire with 🔥
You babbled on but did not give a solution. Get an interdict against them and keep every nasty message.
We did not have common friends and he has never met my family as they all live over 2000 miles away from us. Even though I think he would have to smear me to his inner circle in order to justify leaving me, I will never know because they ( his inner circle) are not or ever have been in my inner circle except for one guy who is the only person common to both of us that I ever seen without my Narc by my side, that my narc told that we had just got a marriage license earlier that day. ( Feb 2020) He (my narc) never told anybody else. I really liked this guy ( the friend) a lot..he is a true aweerheart.. I told him why we ( me and Narc) are not getting married and I think he feels the pain for me..but I also told him if he ever sees the Narc again to stay in friendship..I am just venting..and I was because these people liked seeing us together and that we made a good couple and thought he was a great guy, but I was also saying my goodbyes and explaining why I may never see them again. AKA my own semi smear campaign. just to release poison if nothing else. I also wrote letters to his flying monkeys praising them and the Narc and saying good bye and thanking them for their friendship and the devoted friendship to the Narc. A letter they never expected particularly after a smear campaign. I took the high road//made disconnecting easier for me.. He does have a close friend that speaks worse about him then I do because my narc dated his mother many many moons ago and this friend says he did the same thing to his mother as he has done to me and done to other woman. We are in our 60s, but he stays friends, I have never asked him to do otherwise but he knows not to tell me things I don't want to know, and he doesn't and I told him I would never tell the Narc what ge has told me and I never have. But he never tell the narc either what he really thinks about him, therefore he is somewhat a fying monkey. So I don't care about a smear compaign really, because of the reason stated above no common friends hardly to worry about what hey know... I am trying to move on..I could care less..
This is what I do stand strong be confident and think logically and always be true to yourself and others …..and where possible drop subtle hints to other people that you feel you’ve been wronged by the narcissist and how cruel their behaviour has been towards you. And trust me people will see who the trouble maker bully is because these people love to gossip and no one really likes a gossip, and if your lucky enough to leave the narcissist behind for example move home job etc, give it a few years and write a simple direct letter to as many people that the narcissist knows telling them of the bully narcissistic behaviour and how the narc has wronged them as well because sadly karma isn’t always served by god and these demonic creatures go on destroying many innocent peoples lives ❤
I'm a proud Sigma and awaken Super Empath💪. I was so unconscious of my natural powers before. Thank you nrcs!🌷 I'm not a victim at all & narcs had always hard time with me, doesn't matter how much involved I was and what kind of relation it was. I don't give a monkey if someone going to far. But I'm that kind of person that I'm able to dessappear anytime if I'm not happy or not well treated. Doesn't matter if it's about places, people or work. I know who I am, what is right, what is wrong, what I deserve. Low standards, unjustice and bad energy is not acceptable to me. In my life I used to deal with few types of narcs and with one criminal sociopat as well. The last one were running away from me with shaked a*s. I'm not rude or agressive but I can be two times worst than that kind of creatures if I want. In my opinion, depend on situation, with narc smear campaign You can: 1) Stand up for yourself. With that you should switch off emotions (as much as possible ofcourse), switch on logic, plan your moves like a chess master. And be yourself, don't play any role. The truth will be heard. 2) Ignore it and live your life. Be yourself. Let people choose what they want to believe. Watch a natural selection of people around you. You will see who is your real soulmate, who will come to you. Learn, analise, take your lessons, grow, work with your self-esteam and core-identity, heal. Do something nice for yourself. Go with no contact (Necessary for most of Empaths to heal). Everything is for something. Our experiences creates us. After all I'v got, I'm not affraid of them and I'm happy I had them on my path. Thanks to them I'm stronger than ever and I'm a better version of myself. I believe it's a normal proces with all Empaths who has to deal with narcs. If you will survive that, if you will stay strong, you will get only stronger. You will survive. Just be brave, my friends💪❤💪❤💪❤ God bless you❤️
Lost credibility with your vaccine comparisons
People need to realize that if happy, confident people say bad things about someone, it's not necessarily true because a happy, confident person must be right. In my case, an old school teacher was even visited to tell disturbing stories about me and unfortunately she immediately sided with the smear campaigner. My impression is that they try it first with people who don't know you very well. I think the whole village I grew up in now thinks I'm a terrible evil creature. I don't mind.
I had to deal with one. It was crazy, but very few people believed him. I ignored it as much as possible. The more I ignored it, the less attention was given to his smear campaign
Hugs 🤗 and love ❤️ coming your way to everyone here, I believe you and you are not alone ❤️
Yeah my mum did this to my family
They are going to "believe" the one who has the most perceived money and power.
Thank yu for everything ❤so glad I found your channel!
Do narcissists who know you try to destroy you together? I was scapegoated by my mother at around 6. She really hated me As a teen she was always on the phone. I thought she was talking about my bone disease and I walked by and said "will you stop talking about me!" As an adult It was clear she was smear campaigning me. I married the man she wanted me to marry who is a narcissist and it has been hell ever since. My mother died a few months ago and it has been incredibly stressful. She always made my daughter and think that she was practically broke-we never thought that their was any will and I never had any relationship with my brothers who went to college and left the state. I ended up finding out that I am in the will and she was very wealthy. My older brother who got to know my daughter and me wanted me to divorce my husband and after her death calling and asking "Are you done with your doctor and dentist appointments". "I have to get a cleaning then I'll be done." "Well hurry up, I am waiting for moms lawyer to call and I will let you know when he does." I called my mothers lawyer a few weeks later and he was concerned that he hadn't heard anything from my brothers. My older brother refuses to answere my calls and it has been 2 months since my mothers death. My daughter tried to kill herself last night and she is in a place for 3 days. We just want to get out of this toxic environment and we are beginning to lose hope for the future. Narcissitic abuse is never ending and no laughing matter!
My narcissist ex did the same with his ex when we got together, he played victim saying she put him down constantly and that's why he had to wear the best of clothes etc.
I realised down the line, he was very materialistic, it had nothing to do with his ex.
I already know he's doing the same with me, but I choose not to react.
I'm glad I left him, he caused too much drama and it was hell. I should have left sooner 😊
I can’t speak to any family member or anything now
Half of my smear campaign was in my own family. I saw these people maybe once or twice a year. Thats how much they knew me. They were going by what my mother told them which was based on delusion made up in her mind. She knew NOTHING about me based on reality. They all bought it hook line and sinker. I now Completely understand when you hear of people who detach from family for good and go off on their own. I told a few - I knew who I was and didnt care what they believed. I wasted way too many years concerned about what the rest thought who were making snap judgements about me. Terrible.
He'll look like a dummy trying to smear me! No sexual contact with him and when he tried hoovering, shut him down! Notified people all along the way....
How can you tell the difference between a smear campaign and someone genuinely venting truthfully about someone? That's something that has always been hard for me to discern. I end up falling for the story of the person lying and not figuring it out until later
@@universeelwezen6685 this is such a great insightful answer, thank you so much, very helpful!!
The smear campaign always seeks to discredit someone's potential or actual rebuttal in a preemptive fashion. Plus they continuously spin stories about a target and what they did to other people. It is not hard to discern if you pay attention to detail.
The head narcissist is my mother and she has turned all of my family against me and everyone she has found out that I know. I now will never accept any of her family members into my life and to me they will never exist. She keeps trying to throw their names in my face when. She calls. She slso keeps trying to find out wherever I go and who I know or meet. She is incorrigible.
No contact w her
Bless you , Thanks for the video , I can tell you’ve been a heck of a lot ❤️❤️I’m always here for you and I love you
I went to meet her family for the first time for Thanksgiving dinner and her niece said to me always this your new girlfriend the one that we heard the recording on when she was yelling at you and cussing at you, in the earlier stages of her waiting for me to react to her poking the bear and trying to provoke me to abuse her cuz that's what they want so that they can point the finger and go see I told you you're crazy I told you you're you're violent that's what they do this is their soul mission is to destroy two struck and devour and then before you know it you're in survival mode unaware ,I started to fight bk yelling n cussing n she sat down after poking everyday, I flipped n she was recording me several occasions so meeting her family I was greeted by a niece saying you was on my aunt's phone fussing at her I was so fueled but powerless embarrassed in shock.
Saddest is when you find out way too late, and haven't been able to save your own child from their other parent. The damage starts when they are young. They become brainwashed, as the narc has turned them against you. My thoughts is they who are dark, n don't see the light will have to answer for it eventually.
Sometimes we can afford to loose. Because the narcissist didn’t think about 1. TIME its effects. 2. FEELINGS things change. I. E. Attitudes and outlook. Example. What’s important to me today might be gone tomorrow. By no choice mind you. Unfair consequences may incur. 3. UNKNOWNS these really boggle a narcissistic person. They just can’t figure out all the details ahead of time. And time heals wounds. Meaning, they can make us feel like crap today, whereas tomorrow they might fail. Just because life changes peoples attitudes on the regular. 😁💯👈🏻
Unfortunately,
My Adult son has been believing my husband since we got married 15 yr ago.
I tried to tell him. My covert Narcissist husband has been doing this smear campaign right from beginning.
Before divorce you have to convince your parents and siblings. You have to give them clarity. You have to inform your relatives about their lies with proof
I think I'm on the right track I was thinking of a similar anti smear campaign
I lost friends that I thought were friends atleast we never had the same circle of friends but atleast 2 friendships ended and 1 remained we are survivors together from different narcissist.
His mother still sends good morning memes but I just ignore and hopefully his stories will add up as he is the worst lyer can't keep a story.
I know there's a smear campaign with his dumb friends but narcs love narcs
In the internal work is abit harder some days than other .
Great video
Great advice. Please , stay silent do nothing.
This is a great video. Pretty much everything you’re saying checks-out with my experience
I had a friend whom I believe is a narcissist. I do not have anything to do with her now. I wanted to go and hoped her mother with something and her mother told me that her daughter said I do not take care of myself but busy caring for others. I do take care of myself and it brings joy to my soul helping others.
The cognitive dissonance- and the sheer REFUSAL to acknowledge ALL ASPECTS of a situation- shows lack of intelligence, both logical and emotional.
The people will not believe , this is how I felt . I think that trying to clear your own name is harder. Instead focus on ones own mental health and trauma healing with therapists. Work on ones self. Maybe those folks that dont believe in you where never true friends.
The people they con always say she never was like that to them so they keep trusting them and tell her everything she wants to know about me
Meanwhile they think she is their friend.
Thank you sir 4 ur advice 🙏. I glad 2 know that I m on right path,I m not in touch of any professional....I knew about narcissistic,,a few times ago & I m doing these 2 stragity without telling him anything.
How do I deal with a friend who i collaborated with musically who then deserted me for petty reason, and he has been slandering me to the our crowd fan base and mutual musician friends of ours in the same music scene?
Hmm. It's maybe worth considering a few things before using this strategy.
1. Your true friends won't need buffering before they hear nonsense about you
2. So what you'd be doing with this strategy is activating your own campaign to salvage superficial relationships in your life. And
3. Narcissistic people who aren't aware of themselves would be using this exact same rationale to justify what we'd be calling a smear campaign when they do it and damage control when we do it.
To me, the advice in this video seems like a surefire way to get caught up in the web of drama a narcissistic person aims to cause in your life. It might be better to take your power back instead. You can let the narcissistic person in your life who's trying to run a smear campaign against you do the work for you as they weed out the superficial relationships you really don't need anyway if you're intending to live more authentically post-abuse.
Sir, you have no idea how valuable is the information you share with us! Thank you MUCHLY!👌👌
Just don't bother, people who know you know you. You don't need to justify anything to people. Wasted energy.
My ex narcissist husband indulged in very dirty smear campaigns against me after I left him. I was somewhat disturbed no doubt, but I just did not bother. I knew for sure that people who knew me well would not believe him and the people who were likely to believe did not matter to me. I was correct because he could not influence even his own siblings.
You are wrong.
Old me: trying hard to make them happy
New me: To hell with u.
But it took away 20 years of my life. Lost a lot in this pricess. Only because i did not have knowledge abt narc. I cud not figure out. Narc is the problem not me
I've stopped trying to defend myself. People will think what they want to think. Now I am just holding my head high and remember who I am. Funk those flying monkeys!
Trust God over narcissists! They are not above God! Hallelujah Amen 🙏 ❤
I like what you said here. At work I wrote my boss a letter outlining how a smear campaign meeting went. But I want you to know I left that job soon after as I did not see any way forward for me. I never regretted that departure.
I had a smear campaign against me at work, by my covert narc ex. The first sign was that some managers/co-workers were treating me differently. I knew that my narc had been feeding half-truths to these people. The thing about narcs is that they ALWAYS slip up, and I knew that would be the case with mine. Sure enough, 2 years later, my division head pulls me in for a chat and says "_____ would like you to respect their boundaries", to which I laid it ALL out. What actually happened was that, after 2 years no-contact, my narc ex initiated a conversation with me in front of other colleagues, to which I responded neutrally and then went about my day. They cried wolf to their manager, and their manager took it to my division head, which is something they probably weren't expecting. They then omitted the fact that they approached me. I called it out. They were shut down, and their flying monkeys were spoken to. My work relationships have drastically improved since. The thing that worked for me was giving no reaction and INTENTIONALLY NOT DEFENDING MYSELF UNTIL IT WAS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. I let them run with their narrative until they slipped up.
What do you do when they go to family,convince people in the community your a bad person, or did wrong,then family know they are abusing,and isolating you,keeping you from your career, coercive control,but they all somehow believe the person is just trying to get justice, they actually protect them by gaslighting me,and denying knowing anything about it,never spoken too about anything, I don't believe there allowed to,very frustrating, and a nightmare situation.
Good advice on the surface but deep down the reality is that a thorough narcissist will start with her best friends, then go her side of family, then together with those flying monkeys trap the kids and you loose all of them. You can drop her family, drop friends (n loose yours too) but kids? Please don’t try to explain yourself it will fire back n just be yourself n kids will slowly get back. Rest can go to hell, good riddance!!
Wonderful!! Thank you, Danish! 😇
Fortunately, for me, my close relatives did not believe the narcissist. One called me and told me what was being said. I was flabbergasted. This was my sister. It hurt. I explained what had actually happened and they believed me, saying they had noticed my sister had always been jealous of me and, that lately, she had become vicious. It still hurts.
So I cannot trust these people that I know and she has conned them. She tries to find out everyone I know and do this
It’s all about value. Turn your attention and energy inwards and to people who are your people.
And keep a record book of the flying monkeys. Remember that they believed the narcissist lies over your truth.
Whenever they reach out for your help, don’t come running to them. Remind them that they were on the narcissist side. And for that reason alone, they are dead to you.
Dear Danish how come are you talking to me in every video ! Yesterday i stumbled upon your channel and believe me first time i have felt like there is somebody who understands my condition .Im 24 year medical graduate stuck with my narcissistic father .He is not a human he is a wild dog .He has killed me everyday in these 24 years .😭😭😭
Im looking for ways to leave n heal myself ... Thanku so much ...
Please keep making these videos they are really helpful ❤️❤️
Turn to God (the One True God). Ask him to help.
And now my son is showing signs of being like this in her favor. He lives here and is telling her what she wants to know. I know I cannot trust even him. There is no escape for me
Because he is still not grow up probably
Forgiving a narcassist is not easy at least for me. I tried various times that I should forgive my father when others family elders insured on me. Several times I said verbally to others and myself too that yes I forgave him but after few days the pain again emerged and I trashed that forgiveness. Especially when he is not ready to even accept any of his sin. So forgiving a narcassist is a betrayal u did to ur self. I did it many times. But somehow I did not find a closure. I found a desire a string desire of karma type revenge especially after realising my mother psychological murder he did and same pattern repeating with me. Why I m waiting for his bad time. This wait keeps me somehow connected with him.
My x narc has been running a smear campaign with his family for 3.5 years. He started at my job in January trying to complain about me there.
I left my evil ex this week and now he's going g true fri3nds to smear me in retaliation over being butthurt being dumped for not listening and walking away
But what if you actually cant let them be gone because your life depends on it? Iam not talking about friends or work, but people in a power position.
My narc husband wanted control of the money I inherited from my father. He is a very good actor and he went on telling the friends that he's not keeping well, that he was 70 yrs old and I am not sharing my money with him. All of them came to ask me whst I wanted to do with the money if you can't buy comfort for the family.
@drnirjasheth, tell them that it is none of their business, you are considering things, and when you come to a decision that you will act upon it. I’m glad your father’s money is in your name. Use it well. ☮️
u got sanpaku eye. I suspect u to be a narcissist honestly. I suspect dr Ramani to be a covert narc to.