I think the worst part of abuse is, people you thought were your well wishers joined the Narcissist and helped them abuse you. That betrayal is difficult to shake off sometimes.
Severe anxiety, inability to focus, depression, fear of getting involved with anyone again, difficulty trusting ones-self and ones own judgment to choose friends and/or mates again. difficulty concentrating, anxiety reactions, feeling the need to defend oneself. Feelings of not being worthy, Rumination, memory issues.
I was a psychotherapist before retiring from the profession. This is the most concise, comprehensive and compassionate explanation of the trauma of narcissistic unpredictability and its impacts on the global functioning of a human being that I have heard.
I know this may seem a little off the wall but I noticed your comment and I just was wondering if there is any resource out there because I truly need some serious counseling but I truly don't have the financial backing to be able to afford somebody and my location is very remote I'm really just looking for any possible Avenues of help in dealingwith the same subjects as this video is describing. I don't even I just don't know where to start for help but I desperately need it and I'm not in a good situation right now so sorry if it seems strange. A random person online but I'm just not sure where to turn to for some help. I'm in a very volatile situation, cat see myself surviving another year if I don't find a way out. I have been cut off from all contacts basically from Outsiders. If anybody who reads this has any suggestions I would truly be grateful I need it desperately. For anonymity purposes, I go by Michelle online, fearing a backlash if caught posting this. Thank you for whoever may respond.
EXACTLY what I was thinking. This is my first exploration on how trauma distorts the brain, and I am thoroughly impressed with this. I am always pleased with his content, but this is above and beyond his usual helpful and effective explanations.
I agree. It is i.portant to see the big picture. After years of grappling with this several levels of injury I had I dependently come to the conclusion that recovery/healing is going to require a comprehensive znd global effort. In practice, I work on various aspects one by one in terms of what seems to be coming up. I also appreciate very much that Danish has revealed his personal experience of narcissistic abuse. I deeply believe that one can not "see" various aspects simy based on scholarly and scientific analyses. Getting a deeper understanding of requires looking into the darkness and one cannot get a full insight without having experienced the pain and the process of attempting to heal. You cannot otherwise impose the darkness and the pain nor the effort healing will require.
My mother was a gaslighting narcissist and she terrorised me. While I have no contact now her abuse still remains as my nervous system is totally screwed. Its difficult to live like this.
We should make a club, like literaly an association of victimes of narsissitic abuse, and hang all out together. We all know how it feels. We could be each others family and give us a physical hug. Thank you Danish for helping us and bringing us together.
I'm in! I have alot of anger....ALOT it's currently coming UT as road rage..... it's not who I am.... it scares people , they feel It ,I need help but always.worry people are not going.to n believe me
It definitely worked on my nervous system. I would start shaking. It’s not fun. God didn’t make the decision to marry this person, I did. We all have free will. I came from a toxic family and married into another toxic relationship. This whole thing I have gone through, has been a learning process.
Keep in mind how 'The Joy of the Lord', is a direct result of one's own repentance and forgiveness of sin. How this joy can easily be stolen, is when one concentrates on others' sin; without forgiving them for trespassing against one.
@@rachelfromcali8982 Was quite astonished to learn this once, while reading through Nehemiah... It is liberating to realise that - in this sense - someone else cannot really steal one's joy 🤗
It is not just narcissistic abuse that impacts the brain (trains the neurons) but any kind of emotional abuse, intended or not. Great presentation…..Dr J🤓
I have watched so many videos about Narcissistic abuse from different people. You are the only one that has been so spot on about everything. I am still struggling to get over everything that my husband did to me.
This is 100% spot on. I have basically detached from the world and most of the things in it. I don't believe that I will ever trust again. Least of all a man or a relationship with a man.
I like to put out there that from a christian biblical perspective, which is Gods perspective, a woman is responsible for bringing up the children. But since feminism is around and all women rather chase their career life instead of taking care of the children we see a drastic rise in damaged men who are basically left on their own, with no one who ever taught them the dos and donts of this life. Yes i blame feminism for a lot of evil in this world, as it goes directly against Gods order of family. You "blaming" men here is just you blaming the symptoms, the root of it is feminism and linked to that of course atheism (godless living).
@@jesussaves3248 I believe women should be raising children and supporting their husbands as well. I'm no feminist.. it's a shame that it takes two incomes to support a family these days. My mother never worked. . But a man that abuses a woman is not a Godly man, but a heathen. And God said it is better to divorce than to hurt each other... This world has lost its Christian foundation. It's very sad that people aren't holding themselves accountable for their adult actions. I only trust God. He is true.
I've been dissociated for years after the 8 year of narcissistic abuse. I'm not sure who I am anymore and all I can do is listen to videos about what happened barely comment anything because it's like a fog in my brain .. I'll never trust anyone the same again thank you for posting ❤️❤️❤️❤️ 🤗
Thank you. I was in therapy with a pervert narcissistic psychoanalyst and and psychologist. She tremendously demolished me and she managed heartlessly to be whitewashed by her professional corporation and association (shrine of collegues and friends). You describbe exactly what I went through. You'd be my mentor. You're amazing. Tears come to my eyes. Thank you
Thank you so much for confirming all I encountered. I can fully agree as when my marriage ended after 33 years I was just a shell and numb.I had no idea what a narcissist was until I started to research what had happened. I didn't know how to trust my feelings, decisions and people. It took me at least 6 years to get my strength, courage and resilience back. Today thank God I feel so empowered and can function as a sovereign being. My heart goes out to all those going through this, it's the most terrible devaluing thing that can happen to someone.
There is another response called "fawning" which means that you don't fight it, you don't run away, and you don't freeze, but instead, you try to act innocent and sweet, to not make the other person feel that you are a threat by any means.
"The fawn response, a term coined by therapist Pete Walker, describes (often unconscious) behavior that aims to please, appease, and pacify the threat in an effort to keep yourself safe from further harm"
This is my way to protect myself, which of course does not work. Predators do what they got to do. Fawning came from my early childhood experience of being raised by a violent mother. I am making first steps to stand up for myself and this is very difficult, but necessary to get to know me.
Thank you for this! After 35 years of marriage to a narcissist, I ended up in the ER with hypertension urgency, close to having a stroke. I did have a minor heart attack. Luckily I am a healthy person, I was able to bounce back. But, even with now taking blood pressure medicine, I am still unable to stabilize. I left him a couple months ago, but the constant contact is still going on. This has helped me understand that as the doctors said, main cause was/is chronic stress.
@@EthersMysticalChildTarot8014 I stayed for 23 before leaving. It's because it was all I knew. I was raised by a narc mother so the breadcrumbs my husband gave me seemed like the crown jewels. It wasn't until the last few years that I started piecing it all together, and as I did, the abuse accelerated. You also have to be strategic of when you leave. Preferably, you have them 'discard' you. If you leave at the wrong time it can be very dangerous.
@@l.5832 I understand better now 🤔💭 I've been through my fair share as well (family-relationships) I've never stayed longer than 8 yrs in my late teenage years 😵💫 I like your strategy 🎯 I have multiple trying to figure out how I figured them out and I'm starting to expose the abuse little by little 💫✨ my life calling 🤷♀️ I appreciate you responding to me I have a new channel @ ethers mystical child can you check It out and tell me if what I have up so far is helpful for people like us I would appreciate it. You could respond back here if you don't want to respond on my page😁 Thanks again 💪🏻
Please don't have ANY contact with this abuser. He doesn't deserve to see you. He doesn't deserve to hear your voice. He doesn't deserve your time. MOST of all, be careful.
I was a victim of narcissistic abuse by family members it has impacted in many forms and sizes !!! I have been experiencing cptsd , trauma, anxiety etc!!! Narcs have ruined billions of lives in this universe !!!!!!! I chose whom to give access to my life as well as to rent free in my paradise etc..... I'm enough I love being alone and I enjoy my own company until I meet healthy , intelligent , like minded , well educated and understanding pfolks from there I can be able to be vulnerable , upfront, and transparent etc,!!! people are dying, struggling, stuck , confused and have no clue what to do with their lives due to the narcissistic abuse they're stucked , bewildered and perplexed !!! Stay away from toxic folks they have problem for every solution !!!!!!
After 4 years of narcissistic relationships what happened to me? I cant breathe sometimes without any reason, i was having severe problems in sleeping n was in medications , i cant focus on anything , i lost interest i forgot what my hobbies were, i forgets everything so i writed down daily activities i need to do, i couldnt able to argue about anything to anyone bcoz in narcissist relation he told not to argue, i sometimes forgot common things like home address, where i work, n the dangerous one was nonstop fear of everything
I have had all the same as you have mentioned, but also not wanting to eat and drink, no interest in anything, My body refuses to do anything at all. I feel like I am dead inside, Not grateful at all.Have been agrophoebic for 7 years. Have actually been with my narcissistic husband for 30 years, been year since I left ,but my body hasn't healed at all....
@@stranggrl8375 I am so so sorry 😞 I pray for your total well-being, healing, peace, and recovery. You will win. You will thrive. You have purpose. You matter!!! Keep repeating those things over yourself even if you don't feel it or see it. 🙏🏽 🙏🏽
@@princessisha5205 I was with her for 14 years. No contact for almost 3 years. I'm so depressed and confused. I do not understand why it is taking so long. It makes no sense to me. She treated me really bad, why can't I be happy it's over.
Thank you for covering this; I now understand what happened to me.. After 8 years of severe childhood abuse, I was adopted by an English mother and Kiwi father...the mother has been abusing me psychologically, emotionally and mentally for more than 40 years. I used to be intelligent, capable, resilient, but not anymore. I had a breakdown 3 years ago, I lost who I was, now I am not even able to function in life. I have been a recluse for the last 3 years.....with no desire for life Thank you for all the supportive messages....I thought I would add Chain of events: @age 8 - Mother dies - meet bio father * unwanted by bio father and stepmother * Meet Paternal Aunt - Sent to live with her * Unwanted by her - sent to live with her daughter * Kept locked up for 7 years & put through every kind of abuse you can imagine...much like the nazis in Germany, and more...raped regularly by her, her husband and their friends * @age 15 - Escaped from there, barely alive * Adopted out by Save the Children Fund * @age 16 - The emotional and psychological abuse begins. All through my life after losing my mother, I have been entirely alone, no family, no relations, don't even know what my mother's last name was, don't even have a photo of her....so, there really is nothing to live for, and no amount of therapy will ever restore a life I never had.
Hang in there Mia. Im sorry to hear about your family abuse. I survived the soulmates and workplace, but now i discovered family betrayal, and that is the worst. I keep watching the videos and the survivors in the comments are my new soulmates that fill the emptiness left inside me.
The intelligent capable and resilient you is still there, you just have to find it. It’s the core true pure you. Don’t let them dim your light. Shine bright every day💗
Hi Mia , it's sad that there is so many people in the same situation, There is Alot of Courses and Programmes etc designed to deal with the kind of feelings you seem to be describing. These coaches and experts are out the who specifically know how to help people in similar conditions, Which will, in turn, salvage and have ways to Heal from such matters and Recover etc
38 years of abuse from both parents (narcissist + histrionic) + grandmother (narcissist) all under 1 roof. I suffer histrionic disorder + autoimmune diseases. Just recently went full NC (before some very mild contact for years as I moved far away from them). Don't worry it is possible to heal and live and love. But yeah as Danish said the healing has to happen on so many levels, it is a very very tough journey. Autoimmune diseases are a cakewalk compared to that f* histrionic disorder, but with support of my wife, youtube videos and some other people I got so much better in last 2 years or so. If I can you can do it too!
My mom passed in May after almost 75 years with her narcissist. As much as i miss her, i'm happy she's free now. Me, not so much. 45 and just a broken person. People who haven't lived through it just don't get it.
I can relate...especially the emoji thing...my ex sent me very few in the 9 years of our marriage...every time he sent one it was like a huge compliment to me...after I left him he and he lost control over me he sent me a lot ...but then I couldn't feel the thrive anymore...just anger. The narcissist only shows love and care when he or she wants something
I think you totally missed the point! Most mature and rational adults would not view receiving an emoji on the same level as a well thought material gift or gift of caring such as preparing a special dinner, planning a trip, detailing her car.. He used the emoji symbolically to demonstrate that the narcissist often gives so little and so insignificantly that the empath's brain can become reconfigured to think that an emoji is significant when mature adults view it as a joke or really, an insult.
The narc in my life sent 3 crying face emojis in response to my sad news that a lifelong family friend had passed on. That was it. When I told him that it just wasn't enough to console me, he got angry and said "I did respond!" They are incapable of the most basic, decent, human emotions.
@@electromagneticbliss Some are though very good at faking it. They know full well when one is vulnerable, and view it as an opportunity to re-establish influence and control.
Living with a narcissist spouse has caused tremendous stress levels in my body. My health has been affected and at first I thought it was the fact of aging but I when I realized the narcissist was accountable for my heath degradation, i started to change my behavior towards my spouse and I got better control of my health situation. Here after is a list of health problems I encountered after marriage. Stress that translated to high blood pressure, skull pimples like acne, acid reflux, sleep disorder, partial retina detachment in one eye, depression, fatigue. After distancing myself emotionally my health started improving. My spouse lost it after I was able to stand up for myself and demonstrated who was the sick person in the relationship. My spouse lost the mind and got diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and Bipolar 1. And has been sent to psychiatric evaluation 6 times in 2 years. What a waste of life……
The narcissists were my parents. The gaslighting, mental abuse, and mind games that they play stunted my physical, mental, and emotional growth as a child to become a weaker person as an adult so that I would not escape their narcissism. The irony is that you never realize it until it is too late in its effects, but it not only affects you mentally but physically in its sickening and nauseating effects. It gnaws on your brain and stomach.The anxiety is like a vampire sucking your daily life away.
@@happinesssomewhere18 I suggest to try working on a getting a good paying job, save money, find a peaceful place to live to recover and to improve on yourself. Become independent as soon as possible.
Thank you Danish... After 4 months no contact he's been turning up trying to hoover yet again. This is such a good reminder of the damage your rain goes through letting these people back in yourofe. Every post you do .ages me feel stronger x
Where u happy u got hovered? I'm hoping my female x that is with two guys will hoover me. I believe she can be healed, but it's not my job to do her personal development work. I feel a bit pathetic for wanting our old relationship back but I understand it will never be the same and the next woman will be so much better but I do miss the oxytocin chemicals
@@powerhousemethod you're fooling yourself move on. Narcissists won't heal because they will never repent on judgement day they'll be blaming everyone else.
I upgraded to a new persian woman. Shes older, meets my physical and emotional needs on the first date more then both of my exes ever did. Now I can see where these ex's lack and stay stagnant in their ignorant abusive ways while I am growing each day big time. It's kinda interesting because I am attracting people she works with around me naturally and everyone likes me. X is abusing her subordinate co-worker who smokes walks with a limp is a manager of a grocery store all while cheating on him at the same time. God has something stirring up here and this is going to eventually implode on her. It's pretty exciting and fun to be honest. With this new Persian, I feel my physical and emotional needs being rejuvenated where they were neglected before. This pushes me forward in my healing journey and to turn these tables around on my X by me just being awesome me.
@@powerhousemethod yes, what you feel is normal. We all long for that famous hoover and feel disappointed if we dont get it. Our brain has been on a drug worse than heroin. It is a myth that all narcs hoover. Many do not. If you burned them with a narc injury, they wont risk a hoover. They will get supply elsewhere or do without.
Thank you for helping us. I am in the mist of all of this. My depression has gotten so bad because of the abuse I've been receiving over the years. I'm trying to break free and your videos are so helpful.
I am forever changed, for the better and thankful to have escaped alive and functioning. My function was in “life support” mode though. The first hours, days and months of freedom I barely remember. I only remember I was weak, very week. Today is two years, I safely left. I’m still uncovering and discovering the harm that “being” did to me. Please, survivors, be patient with yourself and take one day at a time. There is much hope. I just found this channel but Dr. Romani’s channel helped me alot. First, to realize I was NOT crazy! 💜 Edit: yes-I have a very deep different view of this world and other people. I see fake and manipulation in a hot second-and Will avoid it with a vengeance and no mercy. At first, I thought I was paranoid or jaded. Then I did not care. If being paranoid helped me avoid further destruction and be safe - so be it! Now, I am cautious, but at peace. I also cut all toxic people from my life. I actually found faith and God, while in the narc relationship before I left. I was so isolated and so alone, I could only safely talk to God. In the week leading up to my escape, Multiple days before I left I heard -leave and leave now!, in my head. The tone became more urgent-so I listened and left. We, including myself, wrongly blame God, when things weren’t good. I would NEVER wish narcissistic abuse on anyone. However, I can say the inner strength I had to build to survive-has to be for a purpose. I am grateful and find peace and beauty around me in nature and silence. I also became closer to God, because in the narc I saw and experienced what I believe to be true pure evil. That led me to believe there has to be a God. I don’t understand but I have solid unshakable faith. I was agnostic before the narc.
Dear Melissa, ALL you say, could have been my words, with no chances, Like you I came to know God in my worse time, now I wake with God, in all I do, He helped me to get out, Im getting better Slowly, waking alone but in peace and quiet.
Good for you! I'm in a relationship right now with someone whom I think has NPD. I'm finding it very difficult to cut him off. I enjoy the time that we have together, but I can't shake the feeling that he's using me and I know that he's cheated on me multiple times. I keep forgiving him. If he doesn't like one of my questions, he ignores it or lies. What to do?
@Baby Blue I suggest leaving, mainly because of the sense he’s using you. The affairs aren’t that big; Donovan Sharpe would tell you that evolutionary biology makes a cheating man a more confident person, and by extension, a better boyfriend, husband, dad, leader, etc. in a way that doesn’t apply to a cheating woman. But the using an SO part doesn’t make anyone better, and your instincts are probably correct.
I’m so glad you’re doing so much better. I’ve taken so much from this verse, I hope it also brings you safety and peace. 💗 “Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.” Deuteronomy 31:6 KJV
Thank you, Danish. Please continue sharing your knowledge and wisdom: I know you may not have many subscribers/views right now, but these videos are absolute gold to me in my recovery, and I’m assuming for many others. Amazing to finally figure out what was happening and how to come back from it.
Dear Danish, I have just discovered you and your brilliant analysis of narcissistic abuse. I missed your August healing seminars because it is now mid-October. Can I still have access your workshop? Thank you v much indeed
@@narcabusecoach yes...keep going.... Thank you very much. I watch you years after the narc and I watch you as much as I watch Dr. Ramani and Lee Hammock.
This was very informative. Thank you! I am 16 years out from a marriage to a narcissist, and I still have problems. My fibromyalgia seems to be intractable. My clinical depression and generalized anxiety (which I had before I married) are still a challenge to keep regulated.. I did have a spiritual crisis, but I am now a Humanist who actually believes in the goodness of people outside of a belief in a deity. I see a therapist who has an understanding of narcissism - thankfully I found a good one! Thanks again for helping me to understand why healing from narcissistic abuse is a long, hard journey. ~ Anastacia in Cleveland
This confirms my unpopular view in my family that we are right to evict our son this September 1, shortly after he becomes a legal adult. He was adopted by my wife with a previous partner who ran away because of his trauma issues. I came onboard 6 months later. We’ve worked very hard for ten years now to nail down the safety in our home and drag him to high school graduation this spring. He is extremely narcissistic. I no longer care why he does what he does, we are both done. We are beyond tired. He is getting a car and a bank account full of money we’ve saved for him to launch with but he will never be allowed back here to live with us. Ever. We get to have a life and recover our health and happiness which will never happen with him around.
I have cognitive issues,memory and focus issues from 9 years of this abuse. I spent a lot of time in flight/fight mode. I also have PTSD. I was medically tested because I can no longer hold a job and during divorce I felt it necessary to prove and understand my medical issues. He was very good at convincing the courts I was lazy. Well I got the last word. It was humiliating but they were not believing me until they read the report. The court system does not recognize abuse other then physical. Thank you for your very informative videos.
I thought I was going to die, to be honest I think he killed something in me. I was married to my ex husband for 33 years basically since I was 16 years old, never vent anywhere without him, he controlled everything in my life, and then he just left and didn’t come home and didn’t talk to me ignore me. I still don’t know what I done, but as you said they just do that. It’s very hard to rapp my mind around it. Thank you for all your insight into this craziness.
Mine left me after 20 years of marriage and after he had completely erased me as a person. He left me with two kids, a tree lying on my roof, and a stack of bills I couldn’t afford, so he could move in with another woman he had been seeing on the side. Best thing that ever happened to me, but it took a while to see that. Best wishes to you.
Me too.. Often vanished & returned without explaining. My organs were shutting down & doctor told me - eventuall-why. The bad behaviour in my home of 40 yrs. I left 4 yrs ago. Healthvery very good now... Though he continues from afar to use power & control as hehas not complied with Court Order s & settlement... Yet. MoreCourt More Expense. But worth it DV
My narc was my mother and older brother. So basically all my life, I didn’t know any better. I thought I was just crazy because that’s what my brother would always call me. I only found out recently about narcissism, last few years and I’m 60 yrs old. I have zero trust in people in general. The only people in my life are my wife and son. I never kept friendships because I don’t trust anyone and it’s just a matter of time before they turn on me. I don’t even try anymore. You feel like you just do not fit in, in this world. Lost and broken
Jesus said "I send you out as sheep among the wolves." You are right, if you have a heart and conscious, you will be hunted in this world. God bless you 🙏
This is Very Helpful! Through all of the Years and all of the Narcissists that Abused Me- Not Once did I ever Stop and think about How My Physical Brain and My Body are Being Affected. None of My Doctor's, Psychiatrists or Therapists have ever Mentioned the Physical Impact. Now I have More Information Ican educate THEM with! Thanks Man!!!
I can sympathize with you. I also have been going to counseling and occasionally succeeded in dragging my narcissist husband to the session...few times he made minor adjustment to his behavior. However all marriage counselors pressured me to making more efforts to communicate my needs as I was not making it clear to my smooth operator, charming and cool as cucumber, husband. No doctor ever asked me about my domestic situation when I was seeking help with back and muscles' pain. On my own I found Dr. David Hanscom, Howard Schubiner and others who were pointing to mind-body connection and how unprocessed emotional pain will get stored in our body and it will have a negative impact on our brain. Good wishes to you.
For me, the rumination drove me nuts! I finally learned how to shut that down! Such a relief. My rumination just kept me in a sympathetic nervous state and I kept hurting myself!
Dear Danish Bashir, I want to say "Thank you" for this most enlightening TH-cam clip🙏 You have answered the multi-layered aspects of this condition, and the damage narcissists cause us, in a succinct and understandable way. I have often wondered if this problem is not only mental and emotional but also physiological / e.g. affecting the physical brain and brain chemistry. Now I feel better informed, and understanding the problem is a beginning of recovery!! Arigato 🙏
I definitely had brain damage. Could never think of words mid sentence. Adrenal glands shut down. Never got my period since. I do feel healed now it took a few years of NC
Just listening to this has me really believing now, as to why i'm epileptic. Because when a part of that environment on a non-stop rush of things, and you're unable to walk from that environment, a choice while with parents to leave is literally futile when you haven't a means to do so around that specific time. And NPD is indeed something when apart of that circle. It's just. .really in mind now. Thank you, Danish.
Danish, I find your videos very helpful and to the point. Succinct. No fluff. I wanted to share that I was raised by a narcissistic Mom, with subsequent multi sequential failed relationships/jobs over my lifetime (I am 69) with narcissists as well. Being severely overweight through much of my life as the sympathetic dominance caused havoc. (not now) I received therapy, and even became a therapist myself. Did anyone ever say anything about narcissism in the process? It was a hidden concept for me all my life. Until I accepted Jesus Christ into my life in 2013. He eventually showed me the "nature of the beast" as it were by 2018. I am no longer a secular humanist, nor New Ager/Buddhist (which I was in for 40+ years). Although it may sound politically incorrect, there really is no way but to accept God and then to start cleansing that which is generational sin, and current sin and to seek forgiveness, which is the ultimate healing modality. (Narcissism is being inhabited by a demon called Jezebel, which can be cast out. See 1Kings 16-21). Being a part of "the world" is being subjected to narcissistic abuse by political/government/social media, etc, etc. figures on a daily basis, and it is increasing at an alarming rate. There is an ending to this, and those that read the Bible will see the writing on the wall and know how all of this ends, in the physical realm. The ultimate spiritual battle between good and evil is unfolding now. But a new home in the spiritual realm with the all encompassing love of Jesus Christ is all anyone would ever want.....or need. Get in the ark while you still can. Blessings. Maranatha.
I'm surprised your comment doesn't have 100 upvotes by now...😊 The Book of Psalms is a very good read for those who have suffered abuse from these vipers. King David, who wrote Psalms went through the same thing. Most of Psalms is relating to this subject.
@@tlc8023 yes I'd like to no this also.... Why aren't they being saved by God? Narcissist are victims worse off inside their heads than any of these stories, I would presume. They are truly tortured souls. Tragic all the way around.
Thanks for this. My ex love bombed then became critical and after building up a relationship with me he let everyone disrespect me. All I knew went away so I moved back home as I had moved with him. Months of trying to work to feeling like I was lost for months. Noone got it you do. Thanks. I still cry sometimes I would never treat someone that way. It took therapy for me to see it was not my fault. I was emotionally abused and then he became physically abusive. That was end of it. These people are dangerous. Everyday I heal more and life gets better. It's still hard I also had anger.
How do you know me? What you are saying, I am experiencing! Every bit of it! Thank you for validating me! It is helping me understand myself and that there is hope in recovering from this trauma I am experiencing! You are the best coach on TH-cam by far! Thank you for all you do! Susu
Absolutely perfect explanation thankyou so much from England, you are right it’s the most painful thing to experience ever in our whole lives, for those of us who had the misfortune to encounter a morally insane covert narcissist. Great video.
You explain it all so well. Thank you very much. I still get headaches (which I never had before I met him) even after I left. I did not lose my faith in God, I actually became very grateful that I left after only 6 years and can see that there are many narcs out there but there are also lots of good people. As much as this relationship damaged me physically, it didn't damage me totally. Just sharing as I don't want 'us' to think we're hopeless. Yes, I pray, I meditate, I follow many healers, I have all my life.
My lasting impact is the inability to get excited and try much of anything. I no longer have the drive to be better and achieve more. They destroyed my sense of self-esteem in all that I accomplished previously. I am having to learn again how to motivate myself and generate self-esteem from within.
I was married to a narcissist for twenty-five years and its been nine years since my divorce. I have had numerous men want to take me out or my friends fix me up with someone. I refused to let someone get mixed up with me. I kept my focus on fixing me and now I'm just beginning to think about dating. It is a long process people stick with it you won't regret it.
Hi Danish. My name is Debbie, I am a new subscriber, and a survivor of my own 4-pk of sociopathic narcissistic abusers. It almost cost me my very life and has left me without a career, disabled, and of course, in almost financial ruin, but finally, after 10ys, I discovered symptoms of both PTSD & Narcissistic abuse syndrome and then had a life epiphany because I could finally connect all the dots, and could see everything clearly, for the 1st time, which has helped immensely in my recovery, but the one thing I cannot seem to fix, is exactly what you are talking about, today. I was awakened to my amazing empathic abilities, and I now understand even more, but the one thing I have always said is that something seems to be broken in my brain as I was in fight/flight and in an active, constant state of heightened hypervigilance for over 10 yrs. I live in Edmonton, AB CANADA, and your workshop is already over, but this is the final piece of the puzzle to help me restore my mind to its former glory, pre-PTSD, and pre-narcissistic abuse. Once I recover this part of my mind, I fully expect to rise from the ashes to destroy my abusers to protect future victims, and to bring awareness to what I see as becoming an epidemic already, and society needs to be warned as a whole to the damage a narcissist can do. As I am sure you are fully aware that they are referred to as "The destroyer of Lives" because that's exactly what they try to do - DESTROY LIVES. Perfect examples of female sociopathic narcissists are Amber Heard, and of course, Meghan Markle, in a close 2nd place. I am enjoying your channel, and already learning much. If you still have online workshops discussing today's topic, I am absolutely interested, how can I learn more, please & thank you.
thank u Danish, i can greatly understand how u had gone through being a victim of narcissism n how u recovered from it n ur knowledge to help n heal others
After 14 years of marriage to a narcissist , then after a divorce and being a single parent while running a business, my health was destroyed. I was stuck in that fight or flight stage for so long it burned me out and I could barely function. I ended up with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. I live in constant pain now.
My parents were SN as well. Then I married a covert malignant narc. and was married to him for over 40 years. This lecture helped me understand what happened to me. I need to learn to be kinder to myself and banish my "mean mommy" from my CSN.
Thank you so Much for this Clear and so complete explanation. I am understanding still each day a bit better, what happened during my whole Life with me. And still healing from it. Becoming each day more my real self, with freedom to play, laugh, cry and be. ❤️🙏🌈
Thank you Danish No one gets this unless they have experienced it,people say that I should be over it by now and keep telling me to move forward-time heals is another line I get . Im just stuck in the trauma and you explain it so well
Thank you so much. Your explanation of the effects of narcissistic abuse was very informative and explained my own situation exactly. The effects on the body are very difficult to cope with. I suffer from all the symptoms you described and find them very disabling. I also find it difficult to seek any medical advice because I am accused of being a hypochondriac by the narcissist and my pain is belittled which makes it even harder to cope with. I am in the process of separating from the narcissist but due to financial constraints this is also proving to be difficult. Your video has helped me to understand what has been happening to me as a result of nearly 20 years of abuse and that I need to get out as soon as possible to recover my physical and mental health and emotional well being. Thank you again.
You may find it helpful to consider yourself in a non consenting relationship. That one simple shift in the definition of your relationship with this person can make a huge difference.
Danish, I came across your channel this afternoon. Have been watching/listening to quite a few if you episodes until now. I can only say...I'm alive by the grace of God after being raised in a family of ALL NARCISSISTS( unlike me, "the co-dependent"). Then, I got into a relationship with a NARCISSIST FOR 30 YEARS! I found myself praying (begging) God to take me out of it or TAKE ME OUT ! Looooong story. Fortunately, I GOD GOT ME OUT OF THERE! It's been a long journey back to my authentic self. I'm grounded in God and have CUT TIES WITH MOST of those NARCISSISTS. I'm working on the few that remain and limit our communications. I have two lovely dogs that provide more than enough genuine love for me now. I had no clue about "brain damage from Narcisstic abuse. OMG.. I'm amazed that I'm still here at 66 years of age. What a besting I've taken all my life😔 PS I have lung problems that exacerbate throughout the year and gave to get on steroids. Over 40 years now. Yes AUTO-IMMUNE DISEASES are definitely related to Narcissistic abuse. Til thus day doctors cannot explain what or why this is happening. Of course not, IT'S EMOTIONAL. I'm on a journey now, to heal myself through meditation, prayer and healthy eating to strengthen my DNA CHAIN. Just started reading : EAT to Beat Disease by Dr. William W. Li. The new science of how your body can heal itself with the right foods. It's all a package deal Mind, Body,Soul all 3 must be healthy and in balance.
Danish, thank you forever for your content. I agree with everything, but I am one of the few that grew stronger in my relationship to God through Jesus. I recognize my own faults in my choices and crave to be closer to Christ to gain my peace. Again, thank you. Blessings.
Same here my understanding increases on every stage of my life that what is happening to my male partner why he was like this i knew something were wrong with him and i found then i study behaviours and work to understand deeply and i finally found that he is narrcisist now god seperated us in a very good way i thank god that my mind and my physical body not haram by that person bcoz god is giving me wisdom throught my years that i have spended with him
Thank you. This adds more depth to my understanding of trauma on the brain. I’ve been learning more about it with the psychologist at the dv shelter I’m currently in. My brain is now returning to a level of homeostasis, even after being painfully triggered accidentally. I’m in the application process of a double bachelors degree in criminology and forensic psychology because I want to help other victims of crime, particularly dv and abuse.
My sisters and I grew up with not 1, but 2 narcissistic parents. It's only in the last few years that we've really been coming to terms with the fallout of growing up under all that. I'm 56 now. I've read a lot of information...a Lot...on narcissistic abuse, and your video here is the first I've seen that details things I Haven't thought of, such as the actual physical effects. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia many years ago, and have probably been struggling with it since before it was named such. Most, if not all, of my life. I'm now unable to work because of it. I have some thinking to do, but your discussion of physical effects makes sense to me. I just wanted to thank you for such an insightful new video that has given me much to look into!
I only just realised now that my thyroid cancer is likely to do with Narc parents and Narc husband. I wasn't aware that the whole stress/hormonal thing was to do with this...fascinating, but scary.
Hello Danish.....I am suffering with high blood pressure due to abuse from my sibling, a narcissistic sister......I truly believe that she wants me dead.....I am taking anti-anxiety medication....but it's not enough....yes, it's true, a relationship with a narcissist can be detrimental to your health....I am now distancing myself
I am 60. In the last 5 years I have learned, finally, WTF is wrong with me, and how it happened. I hate to say it, but my own "brain damage" began with an abusive narcissistic father and brother. There was no mom in our home. I was actually the older son. My father has since passed; unfortunately I still must deal with my brother but not like I did when were kids--THANK GOD. Very good vid. Thank you.
I'm 33 and can't study a new nor work fast like I used to in the workplace. I feel like my brain has burnt out, plus I visibly have low confidence in myself. I've grown up around narcissistic and chaotic people since I was a child. Even now they still behave the same way with me no matter how much I try to avoid them, we will encounter one another at family get togethers and events. I'm stuck on the poverty and cultural cycle of living at home with family and have no idea what the future holds for me.
On your budget, study EMDR videos on TH-cam. Magnesium glycinate in the evening has made my brain feel better put together over the months I’ve taken it.
I have developed migraine, sinusitis, phasmophobia and my immunity betrays me everytime due to this ugly traumatic experience. I don't know what I did to deserve this. I really feel like this damage is permanent. I wish everyone healing 💕
Look up NDE videos; you may have chosen this experience before birth to grow your soul and learn how to forgive better. I suggest EMDR videos, and taking both 5,000 IU of vitamin D + K2 MK7 every 12 hours, and magnesium glycinate every evening. Both are good, natural mood managers. Also start looking up Jasmyne Theodora‘s content, especially her birth control and “how to become softer” videos, being sure to be aware of who you let in your inner circle.
This video has been responsible for igniting the change in my life and understanding why I am dealing with these problems.thank you so much for probably changing my life forever
Since the abuse, i no longer trust people by default. My trust is hard-earned. Is the other extreme of my previous behavior, when i trusted other people too much and shared private things with strangers. As a result, everyone (not just narcissists) was abusing me. I´m autistic, so i never got a clue, even if people were giving out hints. Also, i was desperately afraid of being alone, willing to stay with "friends", even if it meant being bullied. This is what i hate about human society the most - people keep hinting, but nobody ever thinks of giving direct answer, as such thing is considered as inappropriate. I don´t mind giving direct answers to people, who irritate me, even if it causes discomfort to them. Today, i´m no longer abused. I value my freedom, even if it makes me alone - i´m no longer afraid of it, in fact, i crave for being alone, as being alone allows me to be myself. I learned to trust my own senses too. Gaslighting no longer works. There´s still soo much to learn in this field, tho. I also became an atheist, but not as a result of the abuse. It came to me as i was relearning to trust my own judgement. Once i understood, what i was refusing to understand, i couldn´t unsee it anymore. I´m not judging people, who are believers - my answers are my own and i see no reason to force others into my POV.
I am 59 and had to leave my narcessistic famely, i could not take anymore the abuse. I know how diffecult that is at our age to start over again. To beleef it is possible to heal is the most important. It is a long way to go but we have years to go to find peace and love ❤
Thanks for preparing all your videos and I guess it holds true for all sorts of trauma we experience Generational trauma , narcissistic trauma , childhood or adulthood trauma
If i could i would ask you, i had this question of God when i was about 10. And now I've lost even the trust the people. Your words have filled my heart with pain and just anger and sadness. Because you make so much fkn sense and i agree with you with the healing process.
Fascinating insight thank you! I was brought up in a household with a hysterical narcissist mother who berated my father day and night and he took it out on me! Then I Apparently became the problem in the home. Their constant moving home .. 13 schools of which 4 were boarding schools .. grade one was a boarding school with a foreign language! I'm 63 now and 2 years no contact with my mother .. I feel such relief and guilt as well ... what a @#%$ life!
If this is completely scientific, this is the most thorough and accessible explanation of the effect of narcissistic abuse on the psychology of the abused that I've come across. I am very in awe of this.
Four years out fr a 10 yr. narciccistic relationship and 'doing the deep dive & sitting in the sometimes uncomfotableness' of facing it all & my own stuff I am blessed to say that I am moving well along the path of wholeness. Many deaths & rebirths, many wins and it is exactly your kind of video that has been a huge part of that healing. Thank you. Maintenance is 'keeping your fences mended' and yet not building such high walls that you keep good people out. Being diligent but trusting and calm is imporant. Trust your ability to access all of what is good & right in the universe is essential. When I 'feel' pulled back toward thinking about the shared fantasy & am tempted to entertain the 'beautiful boy' in his best qualities??? I listen to videos like yours.
Thank you for this video! It explains how deep and painful a toxic relationship can be! I never knew how much it could effect your brain,, I know so much iv felt , "not rite" constant stress, never knowing what next minute Was gona bring, with this person.. affected my whole world!! I sware if this makes any sense, he did the same with my dog, if thats at all possible, he had such a strong bond with him it was crazy! Thanks so much..
God bless you for your knowledge and sharing, PPL can understand what's happening in their lives it's absolutely right true 100 💯 percent, stay blessed!!!!!!!!
Such a thought provoking video, thank you. I wonder how much having control effects a narcissist. My mothers narcissistic behaviour only really started to come to the fore when my brother and I became adults and didn’t need her. Her behaviour in the last 30 years has been extreme and she ticks every box for a narcissist. I am the only one that can manage her and I do that by having strong and immovable boundaries but it is exhausting. I thought I managed it very well but I do have physical issues that I appreciate are probably caused by the ongoing emotional turmoil. I believe the HPA axis is the root cause of my issues. Unfortunately my half sister who I met when we were both teenagers has followed my mothers path. Her daughter opened up to me recently that the experience of her and her sister has been exactly the same. Everything was fine until my sister started losing control of them when they became teenagers. I have also experienced the narcissistic side of my sister recently. It has been a shock as she plays a good role superficially. What is very clear is that neither my mother nor sister is remotely able to take any responsibility for their behaviour. The blame is firmly with everyone else. They will never apologise even when it is patently clear they are in the wrong. Now that my sisters mask has slipped I will have to create the same strong and immovable boundaries with her. It makes me sad because they have wasted their lives being in constant battle with everyone around them. Neither have any long term friends and both now have very superficial relationships with their families. We tolerate them and time spent with them is a chore and to be endured.
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I think the worst part of abuse is, people you thought were your well wishers joined the Narcissist and helped them abuse you. That betrayal is difficult to shake off sometimes.
💯 This was the most difficult thing to accept 😞
After 5 1/2 years I am still struggling.
Complete removal results in a lonely existence.
I see you!
"I checked with your abuser and it sounds like you're just overreacting" is a real thing.
Yes! You're absolutely right.
Severe anxiety, inability to focus, depression, fear of getting involved with anyone again, difficulty trusting ones-self and ones own judgment to choose friends and/or mates again. difficulty concentrating, anxiety reactions, feeling the need to defend oneself. Feelings of not being worthy, Rumination, memory issues.
Thank you for saving me the trouble to type all of that. Lol. This is me all over!
Same here. It all applies to me. I really have no idea how to get over these feelings.
This is where I'm at currently and it's hard to see light at the end of the tunnel honestly
U stalking me? Verbatim
Is it possible to undo alll the affects on the brain
I was a psychotherapist before retiring from the profession. This is the most concise, comprehensive and compassionate explanation of the trauma of narcissistic unpredictability and its impacts on the global functioning of a human being that I have heard.
I know this may seem a little off the wall but I noticed your comment and I just was wondering if there is any resource out there because I truly need some serious counseling but I truly don't have the financial backing to be able to afford somebody and my location is very remote I'm really just looking for any possible Avenues of help in dealingwith the same subjects as this video is describing. I don't even I just don't know where to start for help but I desperately need it and I'm not in a good situation right now so sorry if it seems strange. A random person online but I'm just not sure where to turn to for some help. I'm in a very volatile situation, cat see myself surviving another year if I don't find a way out. I have been cut off from all contacts basically from Outsiders. If anybody who reads this has any suggestions I would truly be grateful I need it desperately. For anonymity purposes, I go by Michelle online, fearing a backlash if caught posting this. Thank you for whoever may respond.
EXACTLY what I was thinking. This is my first exploration on how trauma distorts the brain, and I am thoroughly impressed with this. I am always pleased with his content, but this is above and beyond his usual helpful and effective explanations.
I agree. It is i.portant to see the big picture. After years of grappling with this several levels of injury I had I dependently come to the conclusion that recovery/healing is going to require a comprehensive znd global effort. In practice, I work on various aspects one by one in terms of what seems to be coming up.
I also appreciate very much that Danish has revealed his personal experience of narcissistic abuse. I deeply believe that one can not "see" various aspects simy based on scholarly and scientific analyses. Getting a deeper understanding of requires looking into the darkness and one cannot get a full insight without having experienced the pain and the process of attempting to heal. You cannot otherwise impose the darkness and the pain nor the effort healing will require.
I’m only a life long student of psychology, but I agree with you!
In every single area of the abusers life.
My mother was a gaslighting narcissist and she terrorised me. While I have no contact now her abuse still remains as my nervous system is totally screwed. Its difficult to live like this.
You are describing my entire adult life. It is both devastating -- and yet oddly comforting to finally understand that my experience is not unique.
I agree 100 percent.
You are not alone! I hope you can grow stronger each day. Hopefully this precious man will help all survivors of narcissist abuse. 🙏❤️✌️
@@rasberryfields2132 Amen. Thank you.
Well said
I always try to explain this to my friends. They don't understand how it actually damages your brain!!! I'm not the same person!! Had it since a child
It is literal traumatic brain injury which causes damage to the biological & physical aspects of our gray and white matter!
We should make a club, like literaly an association of victimes of narsissitic abuse, and hang all out together. We all know how it feels. We could be each others family and give us a physical hug. Thank you Danish for helping us and bringing us together.
I like the idea.
me too. add me to it
I'm in! I have alot of anger....ALOT it's currently coming UT as road rage..... it's not who I am.... it scares people , they feel It ,I need help but always.worry people are not going.to n believe me
This is a great idea.
It definitely worked on my nervous system. I would start shaking. It’s not fun.
God didn’t make the decision to marry this person, I did. We all have free will. I came from a toxic family and married into another toxic relationship. This whole thing I have gone through, has been a learning process.
Same. Same. Same. You are not alone.
Same.
Are you out now?
@@bbdass4598 Separated, I’ve been trying like hell to get a divorce. Maybe the third time is a charm.
@@dapage5 don't give up.
First thing they try to steal is your LAUGH..... don't let them steal your Joy! The Joy of the Lord is your strength!
Amen 🙏 🙏
Keep in mind how 'The Joy of the Lord', is a direct result of one's own repentance and forgiveness of sin. How this joy can easily be stolen, is when one concentrates on others' sin; without forgiving them for trespassing against one.
@@maricamaas2326 that's BEAUTIFUL ❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏
@@rachelfromcali8982
Was quite astonished to learn this once, while reading through Nehemiah... It is liberating to realise that - in this sense - someone else cannot really steal one's joy 🤗
@@maricamaas2326 yes! Thank u for sharing. Forgiveness is absolutely essential & vital❤️
It is not just narcissistic abuse that impacts the brain (trains the neurons) but any kind of emotional abuse, intended or not. Great presentation…..Dr J🤓
I have watched so many videos about Narcissistic abuse from different people. You are the only one that has been so spot on about everything. I am still struggling to get over everything that my husband did to me.
This is 100% spot on. I have basically detached from the world and most of the things in it. I don't believe that I will ever trust again. Least of all a man or a relationship with a man.
💖
I like to put out there that from a christian biblical perspective, which is Gods perspective, a woman is responsible for bringing up the children. But since feminism is around and all women rather chase their career life instead of taking care of the children we see a drastic rise in damaged men who are basically left on their own, with no one who ever taught them the dos and donts of this life. Yes i blame feminism for a lot of evil in this world, as it goes directly against Gods order of family.
You "blaming" men here is just you blaming the symptoms, the root of it is feminism and linked to that of course atheism (godless living).
@@jesussaves3248 I believe women should be raising children and supporting their husbands as well. I'm no feminist.. it's a shame that it takes two incomes to support a family these days. My mother never worked. . But a man that abuses a woman is not a Godly man, but a heathen. And God said it is better to divorce than to hurt each other... This world has lost its Christian foundation. It's very sad that people aren't holding themselves accountable for their adult actions. I only trust God. He is true.
@@annettebaggett fully agree
I've been dissociated for years after the 8 year of narcissistic abuse. I'm not sure who I am anymore and all I can do is listen to videos about what happened barely comment anything because it's like a fog in my brain .. I'll never trust anyone the same again thank you for posting ❤️❤️❤️❤️ 🤗
Thank you. I was in therapy with a pervert narcissistic psychoanalyst and and psychologist. She tremendously demolished me and she managed heartlessly to be whitewashed by her professional corporation and association (shrine of collegues and friends). You describbe exactly what I went through. You'd be my mentor. You're amazing. Tears come to my eyes. Thank you
Thank you so much for confirming all I encountered. I can fully agree as when my marriage ended after 33 years I was just a shell and numb.I had no idea what a narcissist was until I started to research what had happened. I didn't know how to trust my feelings, decisions and people. It took me at least 6 years to get my strength, courage and resilience back. Today thank God I feel so empowered and can function as a sovereign being. My heart goes out to all those going through this, it's the most terrible devaluing thing that can happen to someone.
Even when they don't actively k*!! your body, they kill your spirit, that sparkle, your shine, your fire, that unique spark that makes you 'you.'
You gave me hope that there is way out of this someday
There is another response called "fawning" which means that you don't fight it, you don't run away, and you don't freeze, but instead, you try to act innocent and sweet, to not make the other person feel that you are a threat by any means.
"The fawn response, a term coined by therapist Pete Walker, describes (often unconscious) behavior that aims to please, appease, and pacify the threat in an effort to keep yourself safe from further harm"
This is my way to protect myself, which of course does not work. Predators do what they got to do. Fawning came from my early childhood experience of being raised by a violent mother. I am making first steps to stand up for myself and this is very difficult, but necessary to get to know me.
New term for me. Guilty of it
It's a bad way to live. We call it walking on egg shells. When u get tired of it, u will find another way to deal with it 😊
*I didn’t know there was a term .. i am totally “fawning” ..
Thank you for this! After 35 years of marriage to a narcissist, I ended up in the ER with hypertension urgency, close to having a stroke. I did have a minor heart attack. Luckily I am a healthy person, I was able to bounce back. But, even with now taking blood pressure medicine, I am still unable to stabilize. I left him a couple months ago, but the constant contact is still going on. This has helped me understand that as the doctors said, main cause was/is chronic stress.
How does one stay for 35yrs this is mind bending 🤔
@@EthersMysticalChildTarot8014 I stayed for 23 before leaving. It's because it was all I knew. I was raised by a narc mother so the breadcrumbs my husband gave me seemed like the crown jewels. It wasn't until the last few years that I started piecing it all together, and as I did, the abuse accelerated. You also have to be strategic of when you leave. Preferably, you have them 'discard' you. If you leave at the wrong time it can be very dangerous.
@@l.5832 I understand better now 🤔💭 I've been through my fair share as well (family-relationships) I've never stayed longer than 8 yrs in my late teenage years 😵💫 I like your strategy 🎯 I have multiple trying to figure out how I figured them out and I'm starting to expose the abuse little by little 💫✨ my life calling 🤷♀️ I appreciate you responding to me I have a new channel @ ethers mystical child can you check It out and tell me if what I have up so far is helpful for people like us I would appreciate it. You could respond back here if you don't want to respond on my page😁 Thanks again 💪🏻
Please don't have ANY contact with this abuser. He doesn't deserve to see you. He doesn't deserve to hear your voice. He doesn't deserve your time. MOST of all, be careful.
@@EthersMysticalChildTarot8014 They suck you in, love bombing promising changes,it never happens.
I was a victim of narcissistic abuse by family members it has impacted in many forms and sizes !!! I have been experiencing cptsd , trauma, anxiety etc!!! Narcs have ruined billions of lives in this universe !!!!!!! I chose whom to give access to my life as well as to rent free in my paradise etc..... I'm enough I love being alone and I enjoy my own company until I meet healthy , intelligent , like minded , well educated and understanding pfolks from there I can be able to be vulnerable , upfront, and transparent etc,!!! people are dying, struggling, stuck , confused and have no clue what to do with their lives due to the narcissistic abuse they're stucked , bewildered and perplexed !!! Stay away from toxic folks they have problem for every solution !!!!!!
"Stay away from toxic folks they have problem for every solution " -wise message
After 4 years of narcissistic relationships what happened to me? I cant breathe sometimes without any reason, i was having severe problems in sleeping n was in medications , i cant focus on anything , i lost interest i forgot what my hobbies were, i forgets everything so i writed down daily activities i need to do, i couldnt able to argue about anything to anyone bcoz in narcissist relation he told not to argue, i sometimes forgot common things like home address, where i work, n the dangerous one was nonstop fear of everything
Wow. I had no idea of all of the damage being done....to me as the abused. I thought i was less fragile but the damage is subtle in a way....
@@stranggrl8375 i wish you well too. It's really tough...
I have had all the same as you have mentioned, but also not wanting to eat and drink, no interest in anything, My body refuses to do anything at all. I feel like I am dead inside, Not grateful at all.Have been agrophoebic for 7 years.
Have actually been with my narcissistic husband for 30 years, been year since I left ,but my body hasn't healed at all....
@@stranggrl8375 I am so so sorry 😞 I pray for your total well-being, healing, peace, and recovery. You will win. You will thrive. You have purpose. You matter!!! Keep repeating those things over yourself even if you don't feel it or see it. 🙏🏽 🙏🏽
@@princessisha5205 I was with her for 14 years. No contact for almost 3 years. I'm so depressed and confused. I do not understand why it is taking so long. It makes no sense to me. She treated me really bad, why can't I be happy it's over.
Thank you for covering this; I now understand what happened to me..
After 8 years of severe childhood abuse, I was adopted by an English mother and Kiwi father...the mother has been abusing me psychologically, emotionally and mentally for more than 40 years.
I used to be intelligent, capable, resilient, but not anymore.
I had a breakdown 3 years ago, I lost who I was, now I am not even able to function in life.
I have been a recluse for the last 3 years.....with no desire for life
Thank you for all the supportive messages....I thought I would add Chain of events:
@age 8 - Mother dies - meet bio father
* unwanted by bio father and stepmother
* Meet Paternal Aunt - Sent to live with her
* Unwanted by her - sent to live with her daughter
* Kept locked up for 7 years & put through every kind of abuse you can imagine...much like the nazis in Germany, and more...raped regularly by her, her husband and their friends
* @age 15 - Escaped from there, barely alive
* Adopted out by Save the Children Fund
* @age 16 - The emotional and psychological abuse begins.
All through my life after losing my mother, I have been entirely alone, no family, no relations, don't even know what my mother's last name was, don't even have a photo of her....so, there really is nothing to live for, and no amount of therapy will ever restore a life I never had.
Hang in there Mia. Im sorry to hear about your family abuse. I survived the soulmates and workplace, but now i discovered family betrayal, and that is the worst. I keep watching the videos and the survivors in the comments are my new soulmates that fill the emptiness left inside me.
The intelligent capable and resilient you is still there, you just have to find it. It’s the core true pure you. Don’t let them dim your light. Shine bright every day💗
Hi Mia , it's sad that there is so many people in the same situation, There is Alot of Courses and Programmes etc designed to deal with the kind of feelings you seem to be describing. These coaches and experts are out the who specifically know how to help people in similar conditions, Which will, in turn, salvage and have ways to Heal from such matters and Recover etc
38 years of abuse from both parents (narcissist + histrionic) + grandmother (narcissist) all under 1 roof. I suffer histrionic disorder + autoimmune diseases. Just recently went full NC (before some very mild contact for years as I moved far away from them). Don't worry it is possible to heal and live and love. But yeah as Danish said the healing has to happen on so many levels, it is a very very tough journey. Autoimmune diseases are a cakewalk compared to that f* histrionic disorder, but with support of my wife, youtube videos and some other people I got so much better in last 2 years or so. If I can you can do it too!
I have been hit against my head in numerous occasions.
My mom passed in May after almost 75 years with her narcissist. As much as i miss her, i'm happy she's free now. Me, not so much. 45 and just a broken person. People who haven't lived through it just don't get it.
Yet they roam amongst us without consequences. It’s not a mental disorder it’s a crime
I agree
I toooo agree
Man💯💯💯
Yep.
I can't agree more
I can relate...especially the emoji thing...my ex sent me very few in the 9 years of our marriage...every time he sent one it was like a huge compliment to me...after I left him he and he lost control over me he sent me a lot ...but then I couldn't feel the thrive anymore...just anger. The narcissist only shows love and care when he or she wants something
I think you totally missed the point! Most mature and rational adults would not view receiving an emoji on the same level as a well thought material gift or gift of caring such as preparing a special dinner, planning a trip, detailing her car..
He used the emoji symbolically to demonstrate that the narcissist often gives so little and so insignificantly that the empath's brain can become reconfigured to think that an emoji is significant when mature adults view it as a joke or really, an insult.
The narc in my life sent 3 crying face emojis in response to my sad news that a lifelong family friend had passed on. That was it. When I told him that it just wasn't enough to console me, he got angry and said "I did respond!" They are incapable of the most basic, decent, human emotions.
@@electromagneticbliss
Some are though very good at faking it. They know full well when one is vulnerable, and view it as an opportunity to re-establish influence and control.
Living with a narcissist spouse has caused tremendous stress levels in my body. My health has been affected and at first I thought it was the fact of aging but I when I realized the narcissist was accountable for my heath degradation, i started to change my behavior towards my spouse and I got better control of my health situation. Here after is a list of health problems I encountered after marriage. Stress that translated to high blood pressure, skull pimples like acne, acid reflux, sleep disorder, partial retina detachment in one eye, depression, fatigue. After distancing myself emotionally my health started improving. My spouse lost it after I was able to stand up for myself and demonstrated who was the sick person in the relationship. My spouse lost the mind and got diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and Bipolar 1.
And has been sent to psychiatric evaluation 6 times in 2 years.
What a waste of life……
Oh my god partial retina detachment is with me 😭 it’s very weird symptom
The narcissists were my parents. The gaslighting, mental abuse, and mind games that they play stunted my physical, mental, and emotional growth as a child to become a weaker person as an adult so that I would not escape their narcissism. The irony is that you never realize it until it is too late in its effects, but it not only affects you mentally but physically in its sickening and nauseating effects. It gnaws on your brain and stomach.The anxiety is like a vampire sucking your daily life away.
I’m in a similar boat any tip
@@happinesssomewhere18 I suggest to try working on a getting a good paying job, save money, find a peaceful place to live to recover and to improve on yourself. Become independent as soon as possible.
Best explanation of what happened to me and why I can’t seem to get over it. Thank you so much !
Thank you Danish... After 4 months no contact he's been turning up trying to hoover yet again. This is such a good reminder of the damage your rain goes through letting these people back in yourofe. Every post you do .ages me feel stronger x
Same
Where u happy u got hovered? I'm hoping my female x that is with two guys will hoover me. I believe she can be healed, but it's not my job to do her personal development work. I feel a bit pathetic for wanting our old relationship back but I understand it will never be the same and the next woman will be so much better but I do miss the oxytocin chemicals
@@powerhousemethod you're fooling yourself move on. Narcissists won't heal because they will never repent on judgement day they'll be blaming everyone else.
I upgraded to a new persian woman. Shes older, meets my physical and emotional needs on the first date more then both of my exes ever did.
Now I can see where these ex's lack and stay stagnant in their ignorant abusive ways while I am growing each day big time.
It's kinda interesting because I am attracting people she works with around me naturally and everyone likes me. X is abusing her subordinate co-worker who smokes walks with a limp is a manager of a grocery store all while cheating on him at the same time. God has something stirring up here and this is going to eventually implode on her. It's pretty exciting and fun to be honest.
With this new Persian, I feel my physical and emotional needs being rejuvenated where they were neglected before. This pushes me forward in my healing journey and to turn these tables around on my X by me just being awesome me.
@@powerhousemethod yes, what you feel is normal. We all long for that famous hoover and feel disappointed if we dont get it. Our brain has been on a drug worse than heroin. It is a myth that all narcs hoover. Many do not. If you burned them with a narc injury, they wont risk a hoover. They will get supply elsewhere or do without.
Thank you for helping us. I am in the mist of all of this. My depression has gotten so bad because of the abuse I've been receiving over the years. I'm trying to break free and your videos are so helpful.
I am forever changed, for the better and thankful to have escaped alive and functioning. My function was in “life support” mode though. The first hours, days and months of freedom I barely remember. I only remember I was weak, very week. Today is two years, I safely left. I’m still uncovering and discovering the harm that “being” did to me. Please, survivors, be patient with yourself and take one day at a time. There is much hope. I just found this channel but Dr. Romani’s channel helped me alot. First, to realize I was NOT crazy! 💜
Edit: yes-I have a very deep different view of this world and other people. I see fake and manipulation in a hot second-and Will avoid it with a vengeance and no mercy. At first, I thought I was paranoid or jaded. Then I did not care. If being paranoid helped me avoid further destruction and be safe - so be it! Now, I am cautious, but at peace. I also cut all toxic people from my life. I actually found faith and God, while in the narc relationship before I left. I was so isolated and so alone, I could only safely talk to God. In the week leading up to my escape, Multiple days before I left I heard -leave and leave now!, in my head. The tone became more urgent-so I listened and left. We, including myself, wrongly blame God, when things weren’t good. I would NEVER wish narcissistic abuse on anyone. However, I can say the inner strength I had to build to survive-has to be for a purpose. I am grateful and find peace and beauty around me in nature and silence. I also became closer to God, because in the narc I saw and experienced what I believe to be true pure evil. That led me to believe there has to be a God. I don’t understand but I have solid unshakable faith. I was agnostic before the narc.
Dear Melissa, ALL you say, could have been my words, with no chances, Like you I came to know God in my worse time, now I wake with God, in all I do, He helped me to get out, Im getting better Slowly, waking alone but in peace and quiet.
Good for you! I'm in a relationship right now with someone whom I think has NPD. I'm finding it very difficult to cut him off. I enjoy the time that we have together, but I can't shake the feeling that he's using me and I know that he's cheated on me multiple times. I keep forgiving him. If he doesn't like one of my questions, he ignores it or lies. What to do?
@@AliceDont888 listen to your gut and love yourself. You deserve it 💜
@Baby Blue I suggest leaving, mainly because of the sense he’s using you. The affairs aren’t that big; Donovan Sharpe would tell you that evolutionary biology makes a cheating man a more confident person, and by extension, a better boyfriend, husband, dad, leader, etc. in a way that doesn’t apply to a cheating woman. But the using an SO part doesn’t make anyone better, and your instincts are probably correct.
I’m so glad you’re doing so much better. I’ve taken so much from this verse, I hope it also brings you safety and peace. 💗 “Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”
Deuteronomy 31:6 KJV
Thank you, Danish. Please continue sharing your knowledge and wisdom: I know you may not have many subscribers/views right now, but these videos are absolute gold to me in my recovery, and I’m assuming for many others. Amazing to finally figure out what was happening and how to come back from it.
Thank you, I will
Couldn't agree more. You're awesome. Danish is awesome. Thank you guys for this community and all the validation and acceptance. Thank you
Dear Danish, I have just discovered you and your brilliant analysis of narcissistic abuse. I missed your August healing seminars because it is now mid-October. Can I still have access your workshop? Thank you v much indeed
I just discovered you on here. So glad I did! Thank you!!!🙏
@@narcabusecoach yes...keep going.... Thank you very much. I watch you years after the narc and I watch you as much as I watch Dr. Ramani and Lee Hammock.
I too have developed an autoimmune disorder. Now I have understood the reason behind it.. can't thank you enough! ❤
this is so comforting so hear someone understands
This was very informative. Thank you! I am 16 years out from a marriage to a narcissist, and I still have problems. My fibromyalgia seems to be intractable. My clinical depression and generalized anxiety (which I had before I married) are still a challenge to keep regulated.. I did have a spiritual crisis, but I am now a Humanist who actually believes in the goodness of people outside of a belief in a deity. I see a therapist who has an understanding of narcissism - thankfully I found a good one! Thanks again for helping me to understand why healing from narcissistic abuse is a long, hard journey. ~ Anastacia in Cleveland
📢 CELL FOOD DROPS -clinical study fibromyalgia life changing
This confirms my unpopular view in my family that we are right to evict our son this September 1, shortly after he becomes a legal adult. He was adopted by my wife with a previous partner who ran away because of his trauma issues. I came onboard 6 months later. We’ve worked very hard for ten years now to nail down the safety in our home and drag him to high school graduation this spring. He is extremely narcissistic. I no longer care why he does what he does, we are both done. We are beyond tired. He is getting a car and a bank account full of money we’ve saved for him to launch with but he will never be allowed back here to live with us. Ever. We get to have a life and recover our health and happiness which will never happen with him around.
I have cognitive issues,memory and focus issues from 9 years of this abuse. I spent a lot of time in flight/fight mode. I also have PTSD. I was medically tested because I can no longer hold a job and during divorce I felt it necessary to prove and understand my medical issues. He was very good at convincing the courts I was lazy. Well I got the last word. It was humiliating but they were not believing me until they read the report. The court system does not recognize abuse other then physical. Thank you for your very informative videos.
It was probably very hard for you. Good job that you fight and escaped his abuse! You are strong.
"The court system does not recognise abuse other than physical" - this is GOLD!!!
Thank you for sharing your quote (so useful and simple)!
I thought I was going to die, to be honest I think he killed something in me. I was married to my ex husband for 33 years basically since I was 16 years old, never vent anywhere without him, he controlled everything in my life, and then he just left and didn’t come home and didn’t talk to me ignore me. I still don’t know what I done, but as you said they just do that. It’s very hard to rapp my mind around it. Thank you for all your insight into this craziness.
Mine left me after 20 years of marriage and after he had completely erased me as a person. He left me with two kids, a tree lying on my roof, and a stack of bills I couldn’t afford, so he could move in with another woman he had been seeing on the side. Best thing that ever happened to me, but it took a while to see that. Best wishes to you.
Me too.. Often vanished & returned without explaining.
My organs were shutting down & doctor told me - eventuall-why. The bad behaviour in my home of 40 yrs.
I left 4 yrs ago.
Healthvery very good now... Though he continues from afar to use power & control as hehas not complied with Court Order s & settlement... Yet.
MoreCourt More Expense.
But worth it DV
My narc was my mother and older brother. So basically all my life, I didn’t know any better. I thought I was just crazy because that’s what my brother would always call me. I only found out recently about narcissism, last few years and I’m 60 yrs old. I have zero trust in people in general. The only people in my life are my wife and son. I never kept friendships because I don’t trust anyone and it’s just a matter of time before they turn on me. I don’t even try anymore. You feel like you just do not fit in, in this world. Lost and broken
Jesus said "I send you out as sheep among the wolves." You are right, if you have a heart and conscious, you will be hunted in this world. God bless you 🙏
It is important to realise the narcessist put you in the role of broken, but you are whole ,you have to heal from the abuse. Love from Holland ❤
More than 2 decades. Mind blowing.
This is Very Helpful! Through all of the Years and all of the Narcissists that Abused Me- Not Once did I ever Stop and think about How My Physical Brain and My Body are Being Affected. None of My Doctor's, Psychiatrists or Therapists have ever Mentioned the Physical Impact. Now I have More Information Ican educate THEM with! Thanks Man!!!
I can sympathize with you. I also have been going to counseling and occasionally succeeded in dragging my narcissist husband to the session...few times he made minor adjustment to his behavior. However all marriage counselors pressured me to making more efforts to communicate my needs as I was not making it clear to my smooth operator, charming and cool as cucumber, husband. No doctor ever asked me about my domestic situation when I was seeking help with back and muscles' pain. On my own I found Dr. David Hanscom, Howard Schubiner and others who were pointing to mind-body connection and how unprocessed emotional pain will get stored in our body and it will have a negative impact on our brain. Good wishes to you.
For me, the rumination drove me nuts! I finally learned how to shut that down! Such a relief. My rumination just kept me in a sympathetic nervous state and I kept hurting myself!
How did you learn to shut the rumination down?
It's important to trust your gut instinct.
for decades i was unaware
of this abuse
many doctors diagnosed me with STRESS but did not know how the stress was caused
Dear Danish Bashir, I want to say "Thank you" for this most enlightening TH-cam clip🙏 You have answered the multi-layered aspects of this condition, and the damage narcissists cause us, in a succinct and understandable way. I have often wondered if this problem is not only mental and emotional but also physiological / e.g. affecting the physical brain and brain chemistry. Now I feel better informed, and understanding the problem is a beginning of recovery!! Arigato 🙏
God tried to warn me in the beginning. Showing red flags but ignoring them. I pay attention to the signs now
I definitely had brain damage. Could never think of words mid sentence. Adrenal glands shut down. Never got my period since. I do feel healed now it took a few years of NC
Just listening to this has me really believing now, as to why i'm epileptic. Because when a part of that environment on a non-stop rush of things, and you're unable to walk from that environment, a choice while with parents to leave is literally futile when you haven't a means to do so around that specific time. And NPD is indeed something when apart of that circle. It's just. .really in mind now. Thank you, Danish.
Danish, I find your videos very helpful and to the point. Succinct. No fluff. I wanted to share that I was raised by a narcissistic Mom, with subsequent multi sequential failed relationships/jobs over my lifetime (I am 69) with narcissists as well. Being severely overweight through much of my life as the sympathetic dominance caused havoc. (not now) I received therapy, and even became a therapist myself. Did anyone ever say anything about narcissism in the process? It was a hidden concept for me all my life. Until I accepted Jesus Christ into my life in 2013. He eventually showed me the "nature of the beast" as it were by 2018. I am no longer a secular humanist, nor New Ager/Buddhist (which I was in for 40+ years). Although it may sound politically incorrect, there really is no way but to accept God and then to start cleansing that which is generational sin, and current sin and to seek forgiveness, which is the ultimate healing modality. (Narcissism is being inhabited by a demon called Jezebel, which can be cast out. See 1Kings 16-21). Being a part of "the world" is being subjected to narcissistic abuse by political/government/social media, etc, etc. figures on a daily basis, and it is increasing at an alarming rate. There is an ending to this, and those that read the Bible will see the writing on the wall and know how all of this ends, in the physical realm. The ultimate spiritual battle between good and evil is unfolding now. But a new home in the spiritual realm with the all encompassing love of Jesus Christ is all anyone would ever want.....or need. Get in the ark while you still can. Blessings. Maranatha.
I'm surprised your comment doesn't have 100 upvotes by now...😊 The Book of Psalms is a very good read for those who have suffered abuse from these vipers. King David, who wrote Psalms went through the same thing. Most of Psalms is relating to this subject.
Very interesting view.
How can the spirit be cast out from narcissists?
@@tlc8023 yes I'd like to no this also.... Why aren't they being saved by God? Narcissist are victims worse off inside their heads than any of these stories, I would presume. They are truly tortured souls. Tragic all the way around.
Thanks for this. My ex love bombed then became critical and after building up a relationship with me he let everyone disrespect me. All I knew went away so I moved back home as I had moved with him. Months of trying to work to feeling like I was lost for months. Noone got it you do. Thanks. I still cry sometimes I would never treat someone that way. It took therapy for me to see it was not my fault. I was emotionally abused and then he became physically abusive. That was end of it. These people are dangerous. Everyday I heal more and life gets better. It's still hard I also had anger.
How do you know me? What you are saying, I am experiencing! Every bit of it! Thank you for validating me! It is helping me understand myself and that there is hope in recovering from this trauma I am experiencing! You are the best coach on TH-cam by far! Thank you for all you do!
Susu
Absolutely perfect explanation thankyou so much from England, you are right it’s the most painful thing to experience ever in our whole lives, for those of us who had the misfortune to encounter a morally insane covert narcissist. Great video.
It made me a better person. I have nothing but thanks and forgiveness for my abuser. I forgive them but I will never forget.
That is exactly what I am experiencing now. I feel like there is no way out.
You explain it all so well. Thank you very much. I still get headaches (which I never had before I met him) even after I left. I did not lose my faith in God, I actually became very grateful that I left after only 6 years and can see that there are many narcs out there but there are also lots of good people. As much as this relationship damaged me physically, it didn't damage me totally. Just sharing as I don't want 'us' to think we're hopeless. Yes, I pray, I meditate, I follow many healers, I have all my life.
My lasting impact is the inability to get excited and try much of anything. I no longer have the drive to be better and achieve more. They destroyed my sense of self-esteem in all that I accomplished previously. I am having to learn again how to motivate myself and generate self-esteem from within.
Study EMDR videos on TH-cam. Also take Magnesium glycinate every evening. Great stuff over time.
@@EMichaelBall thank you. I will do both.
Great talk. It all makes a lot of sense. Thanks.
I have fibromyalgia, IBS, chronic stress and exhaustion. I’ve been married to a covert narcissistic for 40 years.
you can't complain if you stay 40 years. that must mean you love something about the relationship, enough to stay
Thank you Danish, great video, after purging a lot of repressed emotions, I am able to remain in consciousness far longer.
How are you purging? Im using eft and emdr and kinesiology
I was married to a narcissist for twenty-five years and its been nine years since my divorce. I have had numerous men want to take me out or my friends fix me up with someone. I refused to let someone get mixed up with me. I kept my focus on fixing me and now I'm just beginning to think about dating. It is a long process people stick with it you won't regret it.
Hi Danish. My name is Debbie, I am a new subscriber, and a survivor of my own 4-pk of sociopathic narcissistic abusers.
It almost cost me my very life and has left me without a career, disabled, and of course, in almost financial ruin, but finally, after 10ys, I discovered symptoms of both PTSD & Narcissistic abuse syndrome and then had a life epiphany because I could finally connect all the dots, and could see everything clearly, for the 1st time, which has helped immensely in my recovery, but the one thing I cannot seem to fix, is exactly what you are talking about, today.
I was awakened to my amazing empathic abilities, and I now understand even more, but the one thing I have always said is that something seems to be broken in my brain as I was in fight/flight and in an active, constant state of heightened hypervigilance for over 10 yrs.
I live in Edmonton, AB CANADA, and your workshop is already over, but this is the final piece of the puzzle to help me restore my mind to its former glory, pre-PTSD, and pre-narcissistic abuse.
Once I recover this part of my mind, I fully expect to rise from the ashes to destroy my abusers to protect future victims, and to bring awareness to what I see as becoming an epidemic already, and society needs to be warned as a whole to the damage a narcissist can do.
As I am sure you are fully aware that they are referred to as "The destroyer of Lives" because that's exactly what they try to do - DESTROY LIVES. Perfect examples of female sociopathic narcissists are Amber Heard, and of course, Meghan Markle, in a close 2nd place.
I am enjoying your channel, and already learning much. If you still have online workshops discussing today's topic, I am absolutely interested, how can I learn more, please & thank you.
There is a rawness to your explanations and descriptions that I rarely hear. Very real, true and only understood by those who have experienced this.
Your sharing of your wisedom is priceless for educational!
thank u Danish, i can greatly understand how u had gone through being a victim of narcissism n how u recovered from it n ur knowledge to help n heal others
great love n kindness from the Almighty Authority GOD SHIVA BABA.
After 14 years of marriage to a narcissist , then after a divorce and being a single parent while running a business, my health was destroyed. I was stuck in that fight or flight stage for so long it burned me out and I could barely function. I ended up with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. I live in constant pain now.
Both my parents are sociopath narcissists. This hits so deep.
My parents were SN as well. Then I married a covert malignant narc. and was married to him for over 40 years. This lecture helped me understand what happened to me. I need to learn to be kinder to myself and banish my "mean mommy" from my CSN.
Thank you so Much for this Clear and so complete explanation. I am understanding still each day a bit better, what happened during my whole Life with me.
And still healing from it. Becoming each day more my real self, with freedom to play, laugh, cry and be.
❤️🙏🌈
Thank you Danish
No one gets this unless they have experienced it,people say that I should be over it by now and keep telling me to move forward-time heals is another line I get .
Im just stuck in the trauma and you explain it so well
Thank you so much. Your explanation of the effects of narcissistic abuse was very informative and explained my own situation exactly. The effects on the body are very difficult to cope with. I suffer from all the symptoms you described and find them very disabling. I also find it difficult to seek any medical advice because I am accused of being a hypochondriac by the narcissist and my pain is belittled which makes it even harder to cope with. I am in the process of separating from the narcissist but due to financial constraints this is also proving to be difficult. Your video has helped me to understand what has been happening to me as a result of nearly 20 years of abuse and that I need to get out as soon as possible to recover my physical and mental health and emotional well being. Thank you again.
You may find it helpful to consider yourself in a non consenting relationship. That one simple shift in the definition of your relationship with this person can make a huge difference.
Danish, I came across your channel this afternoon. Have been watching/listening to quite a few if you episodes until now. I can only say...I'm alive by the grace of God after being raised in a family of ALL NARCISSISTS( unlike me, "the co-dependent"). Then, I got into a relationship with a NARCISSIST FOR 30 YEARS! I found myself praying (begging) God to take me out of it or TAKE ME OUT ! Looooong story. Fortunately, I GOD GOT ME OUT OF THERE! It's been a long journey back to my authentic self. I'm grounded in God and have CUT TIES WITH MOST of those NARCISSISTS. I'm working on the few that remain and limit our communications. I have two lovely dogs that provide more than enough genuine love for me now. I had no clue about "brain damage from Narcisstic abuse. OMG.. I'm amazed that I'm still here at 66 years of age. What a besting I've taken all my life😔
PS I have lung problems that exacerbate throughout the year and gave to get on steroids. Over 40 years now. Yes AUTO-IMMUNE DISEASES are definitely related to Narcissistic abuse. Til thus day doctors cannot explain what or why this is happening. Of course not, IT'S EMOTIONAL. I'm on a journey now, to heal myself through meditation, prayer and healthy eating to strengthen my DNA CHAIN. Just started reading : EAT to Beat Disease by Dr. William W. Li. The new science of how your body can heal itself with the right foods. It's all a package deal Mind, Body,Soul all 3 must be healthy and in balance.
Danish, thank you forever for your content. I agree with everything, but I am one of the few that grew stronger in my relationship to God through Jesus. I recognize my own faults in my choices and crave to be closer to Christ to gain my peace. Again, thank you. Blessings.
Same here my understanding increases on every stage of my life that what is happening to my male partner why he was like this i knew something were wrong with him and i found then i study behaviours and work to understand deeply and i finally found that he is narrcisist now god seperated us in a very good way i thank god that my mind and my physical body not haram by that person bcoz god is giving me wisdom throught my years that i have spended with him
Thank you. This adds more depth to my understanding of trauma on the brain. I’ve been learning more about it with the psychologist at the dv shelter I’m currently in. My brain is now returning to a level of homeostasis, even after being painfully triggered accidentally. I’m in the application process of a double bachelors degree in criminology and forensic psychology because I want to help other victims of crime, particularly dv and abuse.
Thank you for this video. Very good to hear what has happened to me. I did not realise how bad the impact was. But it's true.
Judith Miller,You look cute 🥰,Hope you are not with a narcissist…..
The best video I've seen yet to explain the effects of Narcissistic abuse and the process of healing. Thank you.
Thank you, Danish for your information. Very interesting and true.
My sisters and I grew up with not 1, but 2 narcissistic parents. It's only in the last few years that we've really been coming to terms with the fallout of growing up under all that. I'm 56 now. I've read a lot of information...a Lot...on narcissistic abuse, and your video here is the first I've seen that details things I Haven't thought of, such as the actual physical effects. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia many years ago, and have probably been struggling with it since before it was named such. Most, if not all, of my life. I'm now unable to work because of it. I have some thinking to do, but your discussion of physical effects makes sense to me. I just wanted to thank you for such an insightful new video that has given me much to look into!
How did u get away from them
My mother is super unpredictable and it has manifested as pcos at only 19 years old
I only just realised now that my thyroid cancer is likely to do with Narc parents and Narc husband. I wasn't aware that the whole stress/hormonal thing was to do with this...fascinating, but scary.
“Shapeshifting”. Now that’s an excellent term for a narc.
I appreciate how clear and concise you are able to explain difficult information. Thank you
Hello Danish.....I am suffering with high blood pressure due to abuse from my sibling, a narcissistic sister......I truly believe that she wants me dead.....I am taking anti-anxiety medication....but it's not enough....yes, it's true, a relationship with a narcissist can be detrimental to your health....I am now distancing myself
I am 60. In the last 5 years I have learned, finally, WTF is wrong with me, and how it happened. I hate to say it, but my own "brain damage" began with an abusive narcissistic father and brother. There was no mom in our home. I was actually the older son. My father has since passed; unfortunately I still must deal with my brother but not like I did when were kids--THANK GOD. Very good vid. Thank you.
I'm 33 and can't study a new nor work fast like I used to in the workplace.
I feel like my brain has burnt out, plus I visibly have low confidence in myself.
I've grown up around narcissistic and chaotic people since I was a child. Even now they still behave the same way with me no matter how much I try to avoid them, we will encounter one another at family get togethers and events.
I'm stuck on the poverty and cultural cycle of living at home with family and have no idea what the future holds for me.
On your budget, study EMDR videos on TH-cam. Magnesium glycinate in the evening has made my brain feel better put together over the months I’ve taken it.
@@EMichaelBall Please, what is EMDR, I also have many brain distortion after N. abuse, and thanks for advice on Magnes. G. Thank you 🙏
Constant unpredictability, that wraps it up nicely
I have developed migraine, sinusitis, phasmophobia and my immunity betrays me everytime due to this ugly traumatic experience. I don't know what I did to deserve this. I really feel like this damage is permanent. I wish everyone healing 💕
Look up NDE videos; you may have chosen this experience before birth to grow your soul and learn how to forgive better. I suggest EMDR videos, and taking both 5,000 IU of vitamin D + K2 MK7 every 12 hours, and magnesium glycinate every evening. Both are good, natural mood managers. Also start looking up Jasmyne Theodora‘s content, especially her birth control and “how to become softer” videos, being sure to be aware of who you let in your inner circle.
@@EMichaelBall thanks 💕
This video has been responsible for igniting the change in my life and understanding why I am dealing with these problems.thank you so much for probably changing my life forever
Since the abuse, i no longer trust people by default. My trust is hard-earned. Is the other extreme of my previous behavior, when i trusted other people too much and shared private things with strangers. As a result, everyone (not just narcissists) was abusing me. I´m autistic, so i never got a clue, even if people were giving out hints. Also, i was desperately afraid of being alone, willing to stay with "friends", even if it meant being bullied.
This is what i hate about human society the most - people keep hinting, but nobody ever thinks of giving direct answer, as such thing is considered as inappropriate. I don´t mind giving direct answers to people, who irritate me, even if it causes discomfort to them.
Today, i´m no longer abused. I value my freedom, even if it makes me alone - i´m no longer afraid of it, in fact, i crave for being alone, as being alone allows me to be myself. I learned to trust my own senses too. Gaslighting no longer works. There´s still soo much to learn in this field, tho.
I also became an atheist, but not as a result of the abuse. It came to me as i was relearning to trust my own judgement. Once i understood, what i was refusing to understand, i couldn´t unsee it anymore. I´m not judging people, who are believers - my answers are my own and i see no reason to force others into my POV.
This very skillfully explained.... So clear... thank you so much x
Excellent explanation, thank you 🙏🏾
This is an amazing video . Thank you
I went through all these,now on a healing path,Thank you so much Sir for giving us the wings🙏🙏🙏
20 years of Trauma with Ex husband. Mentally cracked, physically broken.
I am 61. I am all used up. No hope.
I am 59 and had to leave my narcessistic famely, i could not take anymore the abuse. I know how diffecult that is at our age to start over again. To beleef it is possible to heal is the most important. It is a long way to go but we have years to go to find peace and love ❤
Thank you for this! I narcissistically abused and now have sibo and fibromyalgia.
I couldn’t imagine it does you even good talking about narcissism most days
Thanks for preparing all your videos and I guess it holds true for all sorts of trauma we experience
Generational trauma , narcissistic trauma , childhood or adulthood trauma
If i could i would ask you, i had this question of God when i was about 10. And now I've lost even the trust the people.
Your words have filled my heart with pain and just anger and sadness. Because you make so much fkn sense and i agree with you with the healing process.
Well said! Thanks for taking the time to explain these phenomena. And the follow-up at the end.
Sarah Byrne,You are beautiful 😍,Hope you are not with a narcissist…..
Fascinating insight thank you! I was brought up in a household with a hysterical narcissist mother who berated my father day and night and he took it out on me! Then I Apparently became the problem in the home. Their constant moving home .. 13 schools of which 4 were boarding schools .. grade one was a boarding school with a foreign language! I'm 63 now and 2 years no contact with my mother .. I feel such relief and guilt as well ... what a @#%$ life!
If this is completely scientific, this is the most thorough and accessible explanation of the effect of narcissistic abuse on the psychology of the abused that I've come across. I am very in awe of this.
Four years out fr a 10 yr. narciccistic relationship and 'doing the deep dive & sitting in the sometimes uncomfotableness' of facing it all & my own stuff I am blessed to say that I am moving well along the path of wholeness. Many deaths & rebirths, many wins and it is exactly your kind of video that has been a huge part of that healing. Thank you. Maintenance is 'keeping your fences mended' and yet not building such high walls that you keep good people out. Being diligent but trusting and calm is imporant. Trust your ability to access all of what is good & right in the universe is essential. When I 'feel' pulled back toward thinking about the shared fantasy & am tempted to entertain the 'beautiful boy' in his best qualities??? I listen to videos like yours.
Thank you for this video! It explains how deep and painful a toxic relationship can be! I never knew how much it could effect your brain,, I know so much iv felt , "not rite" constant stress, never knowing what next minute Was gona bring, with this person.. affected my whole world!! I sware if this makes any sense, he did the same with my dog, if thats at all possible, he had such a strong bond with him it was crazy! Thanks so much..
God bless you for your knowledge and sharing, PPL can understand what's happening in their lives it's absolutely right true 100 💯 percent, stay blessed!!!!!!!!
Such a thought provoking video, thank you.
I wonder how much having control effects a narcissist. My mothers narcissistic behaviour only really started to come to the fore when my brother and I became adults and didn’t need her. Her behaviour in the last 30 years has been extreme and she ticks every box for a narcissist. I am the only one that can manage her and I do that by having strong and immovable boundaries but it is exhausting. I thought I managed it very well but I do have physical issues that I appreciate are probably caused by the ongoing emotional turmoil. I believe the HPA axis is the root cause of my issues.
Unfortunately my half sister who I met when we were both teenagers has followed my mothers path. Her daughter opened up to me recently that the experience of her and her sister has been exactly the same. Everything was fine until my sister started losing control of them when they became teenagers. I have also experienced the narcissistic side of my sister recently. It has been a shock as she plays a good role superficially. What is very clear is that neither my mother nor sister is remotely able to take any responsibility for their behaviour. The blame is firmly with everyone else. They will never apologise even when it is patently clear they are in the wrong. Now that my sisters mask has slipped I will have to create the same strong and immovable boundaries with her. It makes me sad because they have wasted their lives being in constant battle with everyone around them. Neither have any long term friends and both now have very superficial relationships with their families. We tolerate them and time spent with them is a chore and to be endured.
That described everything I went through and my situation .. 28 years living under that atmosphere.