As a woman who has crossed the threshold of 50 & is squarely in the 2nd half of life, these discussions are sooooo meaningful. I am reimagining what it means to live a good life, a vibrant life, a fulfilling life with less “living” in front of me than behind me. Embodying spirituality in a non religious way really rings true. Thanks. 💙
I have to say that this is one of the most unique Mormon Stories Podcasts, and I found it so intriguing and interesting. Stephanie is so well spoken and able to verbalize the deep indoctrination of Mormonism (and other high demand groups). Thanks for having her on, John. I'm sure many will resonate with it.
I loved this story! I’m also a Hairstylist and an exmormon. All I have to say is I’ve tried mushrooms recreationally on quite a few occasions. They have helped my mindset a lot. Even if I have a bad trip, I always come out of it feeling better and more myself. I love this podcast! I’ve been out of Mormonism for 17 years, my family is still in and I’ve just started deconstructing about 6 months ago, thanks to Mormon Stories.
Thanks Stephanie and co for this wonderful conversation. At the age of 55 with fear and trepidation I tried psilocybin at the urge of and together with trusted therapist colleagues. I had been 17 years in an abusive marriage, was experiencing PTSD, depression, anxiety. First experience brought profound laughter/bliss/wonderment/togetherness. Second time brought intense information “knowings” or “downloads” about core beliefs and spiritual truths, and broke my heart wide open. Third time brought connection to earth, nature, plants, animal and humans, and guidance for my life. Very transformative. Depression , ptsd & anxiety greatly reduced and manageable. No Mormon baggage here, but was raised in a very religious Mennonite family, and much like Stephanie was quite comfortable with that. Psilocybin and my experiences with meditation have helped me let go of religion and embrace spirituality. ❤
Pertaining to ego death: My experience with this was one where I realized I had spent my entire life acting; cultivating /masks personas that would be pleasing to others. In a sense I thought Id been "fooling" others. As I integrated in the following weeks I realized that while I had been fooling some, most (or at least those who truly loved me) had known all along that I'd been pretending. But that they still loved me. This was extremely humbling. I had only been tricking myself. Another way I've come to describe it is this way. Mushrooms give you an opportunity to come face to face with the darkest shadowy places of yourself. Normally this would be uncomfortable to say the least. (For some, this could be unbearable.) Mushrooms softens this experience by removing shame, guilt or judgement. You are able to come face to face with all of this but with pure love. Like that of a mother for her child. The ego is the self-punishing part of us that keeps us chained to self loathing. I now bow in loving surrender; with a spirit of forgiveness to the parts of me that have been dishonest, imperfect, difficult & self-defeating. With that reckoning out of the way I'm able to dust off & truly move on.
1:57:36 I've never done mushrooms or any psychedelics, but I think I can relate to an in depth awareness suddenly coming on-line. There is knowing something and there is KNOWING something. It's like the difference between reading something in a book and experiencing that thing in real life. I can think of 2 times in my life that I may have had a similar experience. The first time was when the awareness hit that if I didn't make the choice to leave my husband, it was never going to happen and my life would never get better (I left a few weeks later). The second time was when the awareness viscerally hit me that I was killing myself from smoking cigarettes, and I quit cold turkey the next day and never picked one up again. It's not like I didn't know those things before that deeper awareness hit....I "knew" it intellectually, but I didn't KNOW it in my core until I did.
Great job articulating your experience. You did an amazing job explaining the process of expansion. I was in a car accident that messed me up in the head bad. I was abused a lot as a child and with this accident, all the fear buried inside me came to the surface. My anxiety was through the roof. I could not even look at people. I did a massive mushroom trip with the intention to help myself look people in the eye. My entire mushroom experience was an hallucination of eyes. After the trip I could look at people. It was AMAZING. On a side note. I was a good mother in the church but out of the church, I was a much better mother; less judgy of my children and others, more loving and patient, and so forth. Life is so much better as an Exmo. 🤗
This has been my favorite episode so far. She articulated so well the experience of waking up to yourself and seeing things for what they really are. I was already well into extricating myself from the Mormon beliefs and programming when I first tried psilocybin with the intention of understanding my consciousness, but I had been part of another spiritual group surrounding a spiritual teacher at that time. On the trip I could see that the teacher was feeding on people's woundedness and desire for healing but not really giving them anything. After the trip I never went back to that group and I knew I had been giving my power away to "authorities" because that is what I'd been conditioned to do. That changed instantly.
I’m halfway thru this episode, Stephanie was my hairstylist for my wedding! I’ve also done 🍄 for anxiety/depression. Stopped going to church about 7-8 years ago, and removed my name this last fall. Loveee this conversation so far! Can’t wait to finish it!
As a person who has experience with psychedelics, this episode was fascinating. First, Sam and Stephanie did a very good job describing the experience as well as the care involved with safe journeys. The only thing I would stress is to do so with people one feels SAFE with (setting). This makes all the difference. Second, it is really interesting to listen to John and Margie curiously ask questions. Very thoughtful episode. Psychedelics are not for everyone.... and we should take the "magic bullet" nature that they can solve so many things with a grain of salt. Lastly, my first LSD trip the scales fell away for the last time and ... I was 100% certain that I did not believe in the god of Mormonism that I grew up with. I could see through all that story as a product of my own mind.
For people who experience psychedelics - you should be reminding people that are starting off - they need to lay down, get the triggering music on with an eye mask and allow the medicine to work. Not walk around and chat to guides. This is really bad guiding. Mushrooms are not social. Her guide should NEVER have let her walk around or even look in the mirror. This stuff can mess you up for life. It makes my ears bleed listening to this. I am glad it worked out for her.
My journey feels like it started as a child. I just wanted the truth. After I was divorced from my husband who is still a member, I started a deep dive into everything. One thing that really bothered me early in adulthood, was that the church hired an advertising agency to make the advertisements sound and say all things that would basically manipulate emotions of viewers. For me, if the church was true, I didn’t think they would need to manipulate others to believe. Somehow, I felt it was contrived and it just didn’t feel right at all. That is just one tiny thing. So much doctrine I could not see the need for. I thought, surely the truth would be simple. Easy to understand and it would make sense. I finally got to that place. So much peace, I feel settled. Not like I know enough, that’s not possible. But I’m on a path that feels right for me and makes sense in my brain. Lots of inner peace in my heart and soul now.
The only congregation in my city for Community of Christ had to sell their building for financial reasons. The nearest meetings are another one hour drive away.
I'm so happy to see this story. It resembles my awakening, which came to me through mushrooms a few months after recognizing the church is not what it claims to be. I was lost, scared for my existence and resistant to be led astray again. I got all of the real answers through my psychedelic experiences. The good and the bad were all growth experiences, and I am so much happier with life and existence now. The truth is better than what the church teaches.
I’m so glad you included a disclaimer about psychedelics potentially being dangerous for those with certain mental illnesses or family history of them, such as schizophrenia. I’d like to add that bipolar 1 can be accompanied by psychosis and delusions, so if you or a family member has bipolar disorder, I would exercise caution.
Really anyone can have a dangerous experience with psychedelics. What I’ve learned from a psychiatrist I worked with is that we all have a threshold for drug use. If you think of it as a ruler. Some people may be at the one inch mark when they go over the deep end when using them and it takes only one use or a couple. Some people’s threshold is at the 9 inch mark and they can use it their whole life and never go over the deep end. We never know where we are on the ruler until we go over then it is too late.
I'm shocked that Mormon Stories is now encouraging drug use. It makes me so sad to think that their answers to your problems are in mind altering drugs.
@@kimberlyhansen4096 You must be dumb, hard of hearing or you didn’t watch the show (you pick!) There was at least 4 disclaimers throughout the show, including the very beginning, saying that Mormon Stories “DO NOT ENDORSE OR ENCOURAGE” use of psychedelic or any other drug.
@@kimberlyhansen4096 I think John was pretty clear from the start that they are not encouraging drug use; they are just allowing people to share their experiences. There have been other guests on the podcast who have expressed the view that there isn't anything you're going to put in your body that's going to fix your problems.
@@kimberlyhansen4096 Sounds like your Non-Faith-Promoting Information Firewall (installed by The Brethren to keep you obedient) has caused you to obediently reject these extremely valuable insights about how to be a successful Human. Stephanie woke herself up, realized she grew up in a Mind Control Cult, and wasted no time escaping from the Spirit Prison she was born into. She did an excellent job describing how The Brethren systematically rob their members of developing an authentic relationship with their own humanity. I hope you watch this podcast again without rejecting the Pearl of Great Price that were served up for you on a silver platter, Kimberly. Nonetheless, I respect your free will choice one way or the other.
As an adopted exmo, I left the church at the age of reason, like at 13, my parents said i was no longer to speak at church. Did quite a bit of psychedelics in the 90's. Thru dna i found out my birthmom,2 uncles,and my grandfather were ALL had schizophrenia. After watching this, I am grateful to have my mind, as I never knew the dangers. Love your work!
I don’t comment much, but as a never-Mormon, this has been the best podcast I’ve listened to since I resonate with Stephanie’s post psychedelic experience as far as tearing down one’s preconceptions of reality. Really enjoyed this one, thank you all for providing such a great resource for people who are on a path towards self reflection and discovery.
I love John’s perspective here. I m right there with him and can’t stop thinking about all the negative possible outcomes and hesitation in regards to psychedelics
2:19:11 so true!! So often in the church, it was the concept that enduring a horrible life would all be worth it when we get to the next life. Live this life, y’all!
Oh hell yes!!!! Good episode. This is a super important conversation, especially with organisations like MAPS and coming out of cults. Mdma and psychedelics used clinically, and with guidance can be a massive help. Sam and Stephanie your break down of psychedelics in relation to belief systems is so well said. Spot on. Good work ❤
2:20:00 one of the things that final broke my final straw was a visit to see my mom. I went to church with her, and all these church ladies were talking about this activity they were all going to do, and they were inviting almost everyone, but excluded my mom. My mom has had SO much past trauma in her life, but she wouldn’t hurt a fly. She just wants to be loved, and they snubbed her. Why? She is overweight, divorced, poor… Are any of these reasons to treat someone poorly? It was sickening, and just triggered me so much. It hurt me, I can’t imagine how much it hurt her, especially because I bet this happened all the time. And she just keeps trying to go to church and tries to make friends. It makes me cry just thinking about it. 😢
My mom is the same way, and I brought it up to her to try to get her to realize how much she is supressing her feelings and how un-christlike others are being to her. But she just shrugs her shoulders, and say, "I don't go to church to have friends, I go for myself and my relationship with God." 😢
This is the best MSP episode I’ve heard in a while. John’s line of questioning is connecting Stephanie’s exp with every facet of Mormonism/religion/spirituality. Samantha is reaffirming with her experiences and helping fill in some of what Stephanie is saying. Then Margie is adding validation and therapy speech to the experiences. And the content is SO interesting. I don’t know if it’s just because it resonates so well with what I’ve found to be my beliefs on so many levels or if everyone would find it as interesting? Well done!!! 👏👏👏
I came here to say the same. This has been one of the most useful episodes. John, Margie and Samantha should become more of a thing. GREAT team! And I have never done mushrooms. This was so much more than just about mushrooms.
Thanks so much for this comment. It says exactly what I wanted to say, especially about Samantha’s contribution to the conversation. Having someone on who also has experience with psychedelics expanded the conversation and allowed for a different point of view which helped me understand the whole thing better. But what else would one expect from John lol! This was a particularly fascinating episode for me and I really enjoyed it. But I’ve come to expect only the best from Mormon Stories (and great podcasts can also be addictive!)
John asked Stephanie if people noticed the change in her mood and if people commented on the positive changes in her outlook but I wonder how many people ever noticed that she had been anxious and depressed for so long.
I was 43 years old the first time I did mushrooms. I feel like our stories are similar except, I’m a Never Mormon. I grew in up in a Christian church (the SAME church) my entire life. My depression and anxiety got so severe I stopped going anywhere, let alone church. For the past 4 years I would get my son ready to go to church with his grandparents. My mom would say “You’d be happier, if you would go to CHURCH.” I thought I was lost. Like I was literally “losing my religion”. I thought my marriage was over because my husband would get tired of me. And then a friend introduced me to mushrooms. I’m a Gen Xer, of course I knew people who had done it, but I had always drew my line at cannabis. But I learned that I loved Jesus and believed in God. It was organized religion and that I didn’t have to go to church to worship Jesus. And I looked back at all the tasks my husband had took over for me, so I could be alone. And I knew then I was wrong and it all changed after that 🤷🏼♀️
When I was a completely believing and devout member of the church I was Influenced and drawn to try mushrooms while camping in a forest and it was beautiful! I even tried LSD while in the forest with notebooks and food on a picnic blanket and that also was a beautiful experience of connecting to God or whoever our great creator is. It truly can transform you. I still felt the church was true at that time but strongly felt that it was very corrupt and there was not true Christlike love and full teachings. So it did help me have better eyes to see and know myself. This is all an incredible story and is so true to have have an acceptance for earth grown psychedelics. It totally brings you to yourself and connects you ti the earth. Love it! Love this being shared. Now I have left the church and my eyes are open even more!
Sam, you nailed it! I am one of those members who did it all “right” and never broke any rules and never had a bad experience with leaders (some small exceptions). I left because the church doesn’t align with my values. Full stop. But it took so long to see how I didn’t believe any of it because of the conditioning.
This episode is so good. I never thought of the option not believe in Satan. I am glad I never taught my children to be afraid of satan’s influence. The manipulative way the leaders talk to us. OMG! This! Very much this! I also loved how this was more of a conversation. Samantha was clearly very invested in this conversation 😅. I love hearing all 4 of you talking! ❤
It is so peaceful. The constant “self talk” STOPS. You can see more clearly. Yes, the peace is from realizing you are NOT at the mercy of Christ and Satan. Again, no words I know can describe ❤
I love this interview so much. I don't know if I would ever consider it myself, as there is some tangential connection with possible bipolar in my family tree, but from her description I feel that I gain an understanding of some of the insights. It's a very beautiful message.
Stephanie! We are relatives! Sally Ann Brinkerhoff was my great grandmother! Luckily for me, my grandmother Edith Brinkerhoff ran away from home and the LDS church when she was a teenager, so all of us were Mormon adjacent, but never Mormons. Except my youngest sister who had a brief identity as a Mormon as a teen. John, another great podcast.
Wow. Loved this one so much. Stephanie and Samantha put so many of my thoughts and feelings into words. And so many insightful questions from John and Margie. Thank you all for doing this. ❤
"It's not like I wasn't having this connection to self, it's they were telling me it was theirs, and then selling it back to me." I feel seen. Love this.
John, I love this episode so much. Stephanie, Samantha, Margie, and you, John really meshed. Stephanie you are one of those people who can really connect with your audience. Like John you can articulate your message so wonderfully. You have so much much more to offer in your future. Kudoes to John again for having the insight to bring Stephanie on to the show.
The questions are quite revealing. My view on mushrooms and other leisure drugs has changed. If I had to take it for health reasons I would think about it. To be honest I would not mind a healthy drug to keep be motivated. Sure was a privilege to listen. Deep theory on Mormon stories. Stephanie is so natural.
My story mirrors Stephanie’s but it was a slow burn version. Psychedelics opened my mind up enough to see through the conditioning and gave me the framework to muster the courage to face an objective review of the state of my beliefs which lead me quickly to conclude everything I believed was wrong. It’s been a lot of work to move past all the conditioning and indoctrination but I’m much more happy and so thankful for psychedelic medicine.
My son went through this experience, but I didn't raise him in the church even though I was, but he chose to go, to be baptized, and as a 24 year old he experimented with mushrooms and 6 months later he had his name taken off of church records.
I'm in love with this episode ❤ I loved Samantha's quote about how spirituality isn't thinking about God while peeling the potatoes...it's peeling the potatoes. I'm listening while making pies (my new passion project) and feeling so incredibly happy and peaceful after years of physical and emotional turmoil. Spirituality at its finest! Thank you for the insight, Sam ❤ Alternative medicine has given me my life back. Thank to all for another wonderful episode.
Thank you, Stephanie you just formulated a lot of insights I have had, but could not put words to it I did psychedelica too as a penticostal Christian and I recognize it a lot, but also they way you say it is with so much compassion. Jesus is just like anyone here so misinterpreted. Thank you for sharing. I have not been mormon, but I recognize a lot of dynamics and hearing your psychedelic perspective... I needed this Thank you
Steph, THANK YOU SO MUCH !!! I didn’t know how much I needed this. I departed from the Mormon church around 18 but at 32 I still have struggled immensely…. I feel I need further education and help to fully process and integrate a new , more realistic belief system . So I think I’m one of those people you want to help! I’ll try to reach you thru instagram ❤
I left the church a long time ago... but my parents are in a little bit of denial and constantly hope that I go back. . I married a man that was raised inactive unorthodox Catholic. He has helped me realize all of the traumas that the Mormon church has given to me and has helped me heal. We just had our first kid and shortly after, my father asked me when we were going to get our baby blessed and what church we were going to baptize him in. My husband has helped me heal enough to be able to stand up to my own father and say we aren't going to raise him in any church or organized religion. We will teach him about what churches and cultures believe, but we won't teach him what to believe. That is up to him. My father looked a little disappointed, but he thankfully understood. I made it a point to tell them that our son is not their son to raise, we as his parents will raise him and teach him.
She puts me in mind of Emma Watson in appearance! I love her realization that when religion says everyone is welcome it's also simultaneously excluding people. Like there HAS to be exclusivity for it to even exist.
Such a great episode. Thanks for sharing your story. Always fun and interesting to hear people's experiences as a result of psychedelics. I'm excited for the future when more members of the church will have experiences like these and have their eyes opened.
Even just Marijuana has enlightened me in a lot of similar ways as Stephanie and Samantha. I haven't gotten to try mushrooms yes, but I look forward to it when I finally do.
The thing I find so interesting about Sam, is she provides incredible insight into young modern woman realities - especially within the Mormon sphere of influence. When women come on the show and they are talking about relationship situations, whether abusive or just simple strain, it's like Sam can finish their sentences. Her tone, while empathetic, comes off as, "Girl, I've been there and I know what you're talking about." I have no idea how old Sam is (late 20's? early 30's?) but it's like she has seen and heard it all and it's fascinating to hear her insights.
Roundabout 1:45:00-1:50:00 the discussion about one trip blowing up your life and Sam says there's a certain amount of bravery to that first trip. Kind of reminds me of the disclaimer when you take a DNA test basically telling you that you might find out something you really didn't want to know or weren't prepared for. Like, I found a surprise father. Thankfully, I was fine with this discovery, but I'm sure many many people are not.
Margie asked all the right questions! She's a fantastic listener which leads to the right questions. I love when you have her hosting with you. Stephanie Brinkerhoff went about the use of psilocybin in a thoughtful way, I think. It still amazes me that the use of them lead to clarity regarding the Mormon faith, though. I still feel like I'm missing something.
Wow. The concept of not needing to feel like you have to belong to a church or group, because of the feeling of knowing you already part of something big as a human being. It’s a beautiful concept. I would love to feel that. I appreciate what she said. Unfortunately, as long as I’m in the military, I can’t try mushrooms. It would have to be something I would try when I retire.
In a backwards story typical of my life experience, I came of age in the psychedelic 60s. I was an avowed atheist who knew there was no God. Several powerful trips on LSD made me realize my tiny little ego brain was a speck of sand in the real universe. And I had to honestly admit to myself, I knew nothing, and the possibility of there actually being a God seemed very plausible. Many spiritual challenges later, my LSD experience allowed me to embrace the truths of LDS. Funny how life works sometimes.
1:27:36 Her parents remind me of my own. In fact, my 76-year-old mom is who turned me onto this podcast. If you ever need a guest from a very progressive, open-minded, thoughtful, liberal Utah Mormon family, I'm your guy! My mom's perspective on premarital sex kept me a voluntary virgin until I was 22. Best decision ever. On the other hand, I took LSD for the first time at 15, was a full-blown opioid junkie by 20, and have been a lifelong non-theist (something about the word "atheist" rubs me the wrong way). I'm currently 45.
I think we may have been in the same ward in Layton from 3rd to 6th grade. I remember the teaching there being, not just that you will be happy, but that you have a responsibility to be happy, making being unhappy not just a consequence of sin, but a sin in itself. (A nice little self reinforcing doom spiral.) I've heard the same thing in other places, but it seemed to get more emphasis there. (Or maybe I just remember it more because that's the first place where I heard it.)
This is pretty crazy - I was raised as a Catholic, and I can't believe how much I relate to the dissociation, the gaslighting, the indoctrination, guilt, and shame. Very interesting, though...
@@art2487 She’s explaining that the effects Catholicism had on her live is comparable to what Ex-Mo folks are describing. She’s not saying that the religions are the same.
At about 3 hrs 20 when you all are discussing lessons learned, John came up with "acceptance", I perceive it more as the ability to hold multiple truths.
I took mushrooms before going into an outdoor concert at age 17 and there was a moment where I was bawling because I understood the meaning of life, God and why we were here. It was a sudden understanding. Afterwards I could not explain it and it was fuzzy. I never did them again because for me it was too much. I don’t know how much I took gram wise. It was an interesting experience, trippy for sure but I knew where I was and what was going on the whole time. I went to see Pink Floyd but missed the whole concert because of it. 😂
Psychedelics allow you to access parts of ur brain and view things from different perspectives.... It opens your mind literally and figuratively. It helps u build compassion and understanding things from perspective u never would without the assistance.. They are very rarely detrimental and damaging. People who end up having bad experiences were often times in the wrong place, with the wrong people and often started the trip in a fearful or negative head space to begin and usually are the ones who believe that the trip will never end
John you are right about having religious trauma. You also have deep grief over losing the church. I imagine this is no news to you. What I can tell you as a Buddhist is that there is a certain ISness about everything that I think you can probably reach out and touch, experience and lose the duality of it all, the good and bad, black and white, and so on. We think we know reality, that there is a “should” or “must” be about everything, about reality itself and that gets into how we are conditioned to be either by outside influences such as the LDS church, dysfunctional parents, or the who or whatever we have been entranced by to accept a certain version of reality. Then we lose sight of its limitations, its unreality. So the psychedelics can help one break through limitations we otherwise are never conscious of. Regarding people who get into hard drugs, I think it may be that trying weed and other psychedelics may be something they have done. But I think that there is a hard drug culture that many fall into through hanging out with people who are into those harmful substances. Right now it seems that it comes down to an issue of culture, social class, and education, if what is becoming increasingly visible to everyone that we have a societally extremely deep dysfunction with addictions that are deadly and that the homelessness we see virtually everywhere is the result of these addictions. Anyone with the least bit of knowledge of these matters knows not to take certain substances, heroin, crack, meth, fentanyl and related opioids., and of course alcohol to excess. Those things are about the least cool things around. Weed to excess can be a problem for those who are susceptible to its negative effects. Among other things it can have aftereffects that include deep depression, negative frame of mind, and loss of personal ambition.
3:41:30 i totally relate to John's feelings here. I'm exmormon plus was in a super gaslighty relationship that really messed with my head. I am also a yoga practitioner and am involved with the yoga community. Sometimes in the yoga world I run into this woowoo language in others and I immediately am turned off by it. It feels too much like gaslighting to me and that's a space i just can't be in ever again due to past trauma.
Psychedelics are great, one time I was trippin on too much acid and I was staring at a fire pit and the fire pit turned into a mini world with little people and buildings, that was 2 years ago and it's such an experience to remember. would love to try out the psilocybin mushrooms next, just don't know where to get them, so hard to come by
If you're watching this episode for the answer to the question of does mushrooms help with depression, they don't talk about it until 3 hours and 19 minutes in. You're welcome!
If you are looking for that answer, then you can google the science, watch the documentaries, and read the information available. Scientists are not only stating that it does help with mental health issues, but that they are starting to realize that it can save the lives of stroke and TBI patients and it looks like it also helps to rebuild the damaged neuropathways. The science is so good that even the super conservative states are starting to work towards legalizing it at least for medicinal reasons. The Federal Government is also looking at legalizing it too.
Who would watch a Mormon Stories Episode just to find out if mushrooms help with depression? It won't answer this question anyway, because it's just the personal experience of one person.
@@outwardbound2241 Well at this point today, about 23 people, that's who. It was the main question posed by the interview early on and then they forgot to get the answer.
How beautiful that Stephanie "found herself." Not many of us do. I love what she says about spirituality without formal religion. The world would be a better and more inclusive place if we all "got it." "It's also okay that it is not okay." Love it. Truly, what is happiness?
I think it should be legalized. I used to be an alcoholic until I tried mushrooms and I was able to quit alcohol and cigarettes at the same time. I use shrooms occasionally but only around a gram or less when I do it. I think overtime it's probably a lot less damaging than alcohol.
Thank You Stephanie for your possible future work! The lens must be shattered in order to be your own individual. A new lens is critical. I have to surrender to God so often bc I have immediate family members who left the church however, use the "same lens" with different words.This brings the same separation they may a well still be in the church.
I'm not sure how much of this is recency bias, but of the hundreds (maybe thousand?) of episodes I've watched of Mormon Stories, this is near the top for me. This is something I've been considering for myself for a long while and it's almost definitely going to happen if it ever becomes federally decriminalized/legal. Thank you to Stephanie, John, Margi, and Sam for doing this episode!
1:46:34 "They weren't actually giving me access to anything that I didn't already have access to."
Wow. I feel this as well. Beautifully put.
As a woman who has crossed the threshold of 50 & is squarely in the 2nd half of life, these discussions are sooooo meaningful. I am reimagining what it means to live a good life, a vibrant life, a fulfilling life with less “living” in front of me than behind me. Embodying spirituality in a non religious way really rings true. Thanks. 💙
I'm now 70. It's never too late! 😊
There with ya!
Same!!
Yes!
Same here at59 yo
I have to say that this is one of the most unique Mormon Stories Podcasts, and I found it so intriguing and interesting. Stephanie is so well spoken and able to verbalize the deep indoctrination of Mormonism (and other high demand groups). Thanks for having her on, John. I'm sure many will resonate with it.
I loved this story! I’m also a Hairstylist and an exmormon. All I have to say is I’ve tried mushrooms recreationally on quite a few occasions. They have helped my mindset a lot. Even if I have a bad trip, I always come out of it feeling better and more myself. I love this podcast! I’ve been out of Mormonism for 17 years, my family is still in and I’ve just started deconstructing about 6 months ago, thanks to Mormon Stories.
"They weren't giving me anything I didn't already have access to" --yes exactly. So well said.
They showed you your access to them. That's all.
Thanks Stephanie and co for this wonderful conversation. At the age of 55 with fear and trepidation I tried psilocybin at the urge of and together with trusted therapist colleagues. I had been 17 years in an abusive marriage, was experiencing PTSD, depression, anxiety. First experience brought profound laughter/bliss/wonderment/togetherness. Second time brought intense information “knowings” or “downloads” about core beliefs and spiritual truths, and broke my heart wide open. Third time brought connection to earth, nature, plants, animal and humans, and guidance for my life. Very transformative. Depression , ptsd & anxiety greatly reduced and manageable. No Mormon baggage here, but was raised in a very religious Mennonite family, and much like Stephanie was quite comfortable with that. Psilocybin and my experiences with meditation have helped me let go of religion and embrace spirituality. ❤
Pertaining to ego death:
My experience with this was one where I realized I had spent my entire life acting; cultivating /masks personas that would be pleasing to others. In a sense I thought Id been "fooling" others. As I integrated in the following weeks I realized that while I had been fooling some, most (or at least those who truly loved me) had known all along that I'd been pretending. But that they still loved me. This was extremely humbling. I had only been tricking myself.
Another way I've come to describe it is this way. Mushrooms give you an opportunity to come face to face with the darkest shadowy places of yourself. Normally this would be uncomfortable to say the least. (For some, this could be unbearable.)
Mushrooms softens this experience by removing shame, guilt or judgement. You are able to come face to face with all of this but with pure love. Like that of a mother for her child.
The ego is the self-punishing part of us that keeps us chained to self loathing.
I now bow in loving surrender; with a spirit of forgiveness to the parts of me that have been dishonest, imperfect, difficult & self-defeating. With that reckoning out of the way I'm able to dust off & truly move on.
I literally feel exactly the same way she does. This is one of the best Podcasts I've ever listened to. Stephanie is spot on about EVERYTHING!!
1:57:36 I've never done mushrooms or any psychedelics, but I think I can relate to an in depth awareness suddenly coming on-line. There is knowing something and there is KNOWING something. It's like the difference between reading something in a book and experiencing that thing in real life. I can think of 2 times in my life that I may have had a similar experience. The first time was when the awareness hit that if I didn't make the choice to leave my husband, it was never going to happen and my life would never get better (I left a few weeks later). The second time was when the awareness viscerally hit me that I was killing myself from smoking cigarettes, and I quit cold turkey the next day and never picked one up again. It's not like I didn't know those things before that deeper awareness hit....I "knew" it intellectually, but I didn't KNOW it in my core until I did.
This episode is incredible! I am so thankful for all of you for sharing this unique and important story with all of us!
Great job articulating your experience. You did an amazing job explaining the process of expansion.
I was in a car accident that messed me up in the head bad. I was abused a lot as a child and with this accident, all the fear buried inside me came to the surface. My anxiety was through the roof. I could not even look at people. I did a massive mushroom trip with the intention to help myself look people in the eye. My entire mushroom experience was an hallucination of eyes. After the trip I could look at people. It was AMAZING.
On a side note. I was a good mother in the church but out of the church, I was a much better mother; less judgy of my children and others, more loving and patient, and so forth.
Life is so much better as an Exmo. 🤗
This has been my favorite episode so far. She articulated so well the experience of waking up to yourself and seeing things for what they really are. I was already well into extricating myself from the Mormon beliefs and programming when I first tried psilocybin with the intention of understanding my consciousness, but I had been part of another spiritual group surrounding a spiritual teacher at that time. On the trip I could see that the teacher was feeding on people's woundedness and desire for healing but not really giving them anything. After the trip I never went back to that group and I knew I had been giving my power away to "authorities" because that is what I'd been conditioned to do. That changed instantly.
I’m halfway thru this episode, Stephanie was my hairstylist for my wedding! I’ve also done 🍄 for anxiety/depression. Stopped going to church about 7-8 years ago, and removed my name this last fall. Loveee this conversation so far! Can’t wait to finish it!
As a person who has experience with psychedelics, this episode was fascinating. First, Sam and Stephanie did a very good job describing the experience as well as the care involved with safe journeys. The only thing I would stress is to do so with people one feels SAFE with (setting). This makes all the difference. Second, it is really interesting to listen to John and Margie curiously ask questions. Very thoughtful episode. Psychedelics are not for everyone.... and we should take the "magic bullet" nature that they can solve so many things with a grain of salt.
Lastly, my first LSD trip the scales fell away for the last time and ... I was 100% certain that I did not believe in the god of Mormonism that I grew up with. I could see through all that story as a product of my own mind.
Very interesting, good comments.
For people who experience psychedelics - you should be reminding people that are starting off - they need to lay down, get the triggering music on with an eye mask and allow the medicine to work. Not walk around and chat to guides. This is really bad guiding. Mushrooms are not social. Her guide should NEVER have let her walk around or even look in the mirror. This stuff can mess you up for life. It makes my ears bleed listening to this. I am glad it worked out for her.
My journey feels like it started as a child. I just wanted the truth.
After I was divorced from my husband who is still a member, I started a deep dive into everything.
One thing that really bothered me early in adulthood, was that the church hired an advertising agency to make the advertisements sound and say all things that would basically manipulate emotions of viewers.
For me, if the church was true, I didn’t think they would need to manipulate others to believe.
Somehow, I felt it was contrived and it just didn’t feel right at all.
That is just one tiny thing. So much doctrine I could not see the need for. I thought, surely the truth would be simple. Easy to understand and it would make sense. I finally got to that place.
So much peace, I feel settled. Not like I know enough, that’s not possible. But I’m on a path that feels right for me and makes sense in my brain.
Lots of inner peace in my heart and soul now.
I'm a member of Community of Christ and I love Mormon Podcasts and this discussion!
The only congregation in my city for Community of Christ had to sell their building for financial reasons. The nearest meetings are another one hour drive away.
Community of Christ=Cult
My name is Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite podcast on the Citadel.
I'm so happy to see this story. It resembles my awakening, which came to me through mushrooms a few months after recognizing the church is not what it claims to be. I was lost, scared for my existence and resistant to be led astray again. I got all of the real answers through my psychedelic experiences. The good and the bad were all growth experiences, and I am so much happier with life and existence now. The truth is better than what the church teaches.
The D&C does state that all experience is for our good. The truth is there, just have to search for it.
Thank you, Stephanie, you are the most relatable Mormon Stories episode for me so far.❤
John, please invite more atypical Mormon story guests.🙏
Wow, even setting the mushroom component aside, Stephanie's story was tremendously interesting and engaging. I hope she is doing well. Great episode.
THE CONVO STARTING AT 1:48:58 IS SO SO GOOD
I’m so glad you included a disclaimer about psychedelics potentially being dangerous for those with certain mental illnesses or family history of them, such as schizophrenia. I’d like to add that bipolar 1 can be accompanied by psychosis and delusions, so if you or a family member has bipolar disorder, I would exercise caution.
Really anyone can have a dangerous experience with psychedelics. What I’ve learned from a psychiatrist I worked with is that we all have a threshold for drug use. If you think of it as a ruler. Some people may be at the one inch mark when they go over the deep end when using them and it takes only one use or a couple. Some people’s threshold is at the 9 inch mark and they can use it their whole life and never go over the deep end. We never know where we are on the ruler until we go over then it is too late.
I'm shocked that Mormon Stories is now encouraging drug use. It makes me so sad to think that their answers to your problems are in mind altering drugs.
@@kimberlyhansen4096 You must be dumb, hard of hearing or you didn’t watch the show (you pick!) There was at least 4 disclaimers throughout the show, including the very beginning, saying that Mormon Stories “DO NOT ENDORSE OR ENCOURAGE” use of psychedelic or any other drug.
@@kimberlyhansen4096 I think John was pretty clear from the start that they are not encouraging drug use; they are just allowing people to share their experiences. There have been other guests on the podcast who have expressed the view that there isn't anything you're going to put in your body that's going to fix your problems.
@@kimberlyhansen4096 Sounds like your Non-Faith-Promoting Information Firewall (installed by The Brethren to keep you obedient) has caused you to obediently reject these extremely valuable insights about how to be a successful Human. Stephanie woke herself up, realized she grew up in a Mind Control Cult, and wasted no time escaping from the Spirit Prison she was born into. She did an excellent job describing how The Brethren systematically rob their members of developing an authentic relationship with their own humanity. I hope you watch this podcast again without rejecting the Pearl of Great Price that were served up for you on a silver platter, Kimberly. Nonetheless, I respect your free will choice one way or the other.
As an adopted exmo, I left the church at the age of reason, like at 13, my parents said i was no longer to speak at church. Did quite a bit of psychedelics in the 90's. Thru dna i found out my birthmom,2 uncles,and my grandfather were ALL had schizophrenia. After watching this, I am grateful to have my mind, as I never knew the dangers. Love your work!
I don’t comment much, but as a never-Mormon, this has been the best podcast I’ve listened to since I resonate with Stephanie’s post psychedelic experience as far as tearing down one’s preconceptions of reality. Really enjoyed this one, thank you all for providing such a great resource for people who are on a path towards self reflection and discovery.
I love John’s perspective here. I m right there with him and can’t stop thinking about all the negative possible outcomes and hesitation in regards to psychedelics
2:19:11 so true!! So often in the church, it was the concept that enduring a horrible life would all be worth it when we get to the next life.
Live this life, y’all!
This is one of my all time fave MS interviews! Thank you Stephanie for sharing your story!
Oh hell yes!!!! Good episode.
This is a super important conversation, especially with organisations like MAPS and coming out of cults. Mdma and psychedelics used clinically, and with guidance can be a massive help.
Sam and Stephanie your break down of psychedelics in relation to belief systems is so well said. Spot on. Good work ❤
2:20:00 one of the things that final broke my final straw was a visit to see my mom. I went to church with her, and all these church ladies were talking about this activity they were all going to do, and they were inviting almost everyone, but excluded my mom. My mom has had SO much past trauma in her life, but she wouldn’t hurt a fly. She just wants to be loved, and they snubbed her. Why? She is overweight, divorced, poor… Are any of these reasons to treat someone poorly? It was sickening, and just triggered me so much. It hurt me, I can’t imagine how much it hurt her, especially because I bet this happened all the time. And she just keeps trying to go to church and tries to make friends. It makes me cry just thinking about it. 😢
My mom is the same way, and I brought it up to her to try to get her to realize how much she is supressing her feelings and how un-christlike others are being to her. But she just shrugs her shoulders, and say, "I don't go to church to have friends, I go for myself and my relationship with God." 😢
I never ever ever made friends at church. I tried but it just never worked. It is fake as hell!
Find friends OUTSIDE church❤
This is the best MSP episode I’ve heard in a while. John’s line of questioning is connecting Stephanie’s exp with every facet of Mormonism/religion/spirituality. Samantha is reaffirming with her experiences and helping fill in some of what Stephanie is saying. Then Margie is adding validation and therapy speech to the experiences. And the content is SO interesting.
I don’t know if it’s just because it resonates so well with what I’ve found to be my beliefs on so many levels or if everyone would find it as interesting? Well done!!! 👏👏👏
I came here to say the same. This has been one of the most useful episodes. John, Margie and Samantha should become more of a thing. GREAT team! And I have never done mushrooms. This was so much more than just about mushrooms.
Thanks so much for this comment. It says exactly what I wanted to say, especially about Samantha’s contribution to the conversation. Having someone on who also has experience with psychedelics expanded the conversation and allowed for a different point of view which helped me understand the whole thing better. But what else would one expect from John lol!
This was a particularly fascinating episode for me and I really enjoyed it. But I’ve come to expect only the best from Mormon Stories (and great podcasts can also be addictive!)
does anyone know if Samantha has her own youtube channel or podcast?
John asked Stephanie if people noticed the change in her mood and if people commented on the positive changes in her outlook but I wonder how many people ever noticed that she had been anxious and depressed for so long.
they probably like it when women are anxious and depressed
I was 43 years old the first time I did mushrooms. I feel like our stories are similar except, I’m a Never Mormon. I grew in up in a Christian church (the SAME church) my entire life. My depression and anxiety got so severe I stopped going anywhere, let alone church. For the past 4 years I would get my son ready to go to church with his grandparents. My mom would say “You’d be happier, if you would go to CHURCH.” I thought I was lost. Like I was literally “losing my religion”. I thought my marriage was over because my husband would get tired of me. And then a friend introduced me to mushrooms. I’m a Gen Xer, of course I knew people who had done it, but I had always drew my line at cannabis. But I learned that I loved Jesus and believed in God. It was organized religion and that I didn’t have to go to church to worship Jesus. And I looked back at all the tasks my husband had took over for me, so I could be alone. And I knew then I was wrong and it all changed after that 🤷🏼♀️
When I was a completely believing and devout member of the church I was Influenced and drawn to try mushrooms while camping in a forest and it was beautiful! I even tried LSD while in the forest with notebooks and food on a picnic blanket and that also was a beautiful experience of connecting to God or whoever our great creator is. It truly can transform you. I still felt the church was true at that time but strongly felt that it was very corrupt and there was not true Christlike love and full teachings. So it did help me have better eyes to see and know myself. This is all an incredible story and is so true to have have an acceptance for earth grown psychedelics. It totally brings you to yourself and connects you ti the earth. Love it! Love this being shared. Now I have left the church and my eyes are open even more!
Sam, you nailed it! I am one of those members who did it all “right” and never broke any rules and never had a bad experience with leaders (some small exceptions). I left because the church doesn’t align with my values. Full stop. But it took so long to see how I didn’t believe any of it because of the conditioning.
This episode is so good. I never thought of the option not believe in Satan. I am glad I never taught my children to be afraid of satan’s influence. The manipulative way the leaders talk to us. OMG! This! Very much this!
I also loved how this was more of a conversation. Samantha was clearly very invested in this conversation 😅. I love hearing all 4 of you talking! ❤
It is so peaceful. The constant “self talk” STOPS. You can see more clearly. Yes, the peace is from realizing you are NOT at the mercy of Christ and Satan. Again, no words I know can describe ❤
So educational and informative. Stephanie, my sincere thanks for sharing your experiences in such articulated and mature way.
I love this interview so much. I don't know if I would ever consider it myself, as there is some tangential connection with possible bipolar in my family tree, but from her description I feel that I gain an understanding of some of the insights. It's a very beautiful message.
She literally "red pilled" out of the church, I love it!
This is one of the most powerful episodes on Mormon Stories. Stephanie is very relatable. Mushrooms were a “tool” that helped.
Stephanie! We are relatives! Sally Ann Brinkerhoff was my great grandmother! Luckily for me, my grandmother Edith Brinkerhoff ran away from home and the LDS church when she was a teenager, so all of us were Mormon adjacent, but never Mormons. Except my youngest sister who had a brief identity as a Mormon as a teen. John, another great podcast.
Wow. Loved this one so much. Stephanie and Samantha put so many of my thoughts and feelings into words. And so many insightful questions from John and Margie. Thank you all for doing this. ❤
Favorite episode of MS hands down!... What an amazing person and story.... So courageous! N open minded!
"It's not like I wasn't having this connection to self, it's they were telling me it was theirs, and then selling it back to me."
I feel seen. Love this.
Anyone know the approx time where this quote is located?
John, I love this episode so much. Stephanie, Samantha, Margie, and you, John really meshed. Stephanie you are one of those people who can really connect with your audience. Like John you can articulate your message so wonderfully. You have so much much more to offer in your future. Kudoes to John again for having the insight to bring Stephanie on to the show.
The questions are quite revealing. My view on mushrooms and other leisure drugs has changed. If I had to take it for health reasons I would think about it. To be honest I would not mind a healthy drug to keep be motivated. Sure was a privilege to listen. Deep theory on Mormon stories. Stephanie is so natural.
My story mirrors Stephanie’s but it was a slow burn version. Psychedelics opened my mind up enough to see through the conditioning and gave me the framework to muster the courage to face an objective review of the state of my beliefs which lead me quickly to conclude everything I believed was wrong. It’s been a lot of work to move past all the conditioning and indoctrination but I’m much more happy and so thankful for psychedelic medicine.
'we all struggle with the unknown, but there is where the moat growth happen' nicely put, what a gem. Ps 23
My son went through this experience, but I didn't raise him in the church even though I was, but he chose to go, to be baptized, and as a 24 year old he experimented with mushrooms and 6 months later he had his name taken off of church records.
I find this fascinating. I have felt and thought like her since I can remember. I never heard it put to words
This discussion is incredible!
Such a great episode! I really appreciate Stephanie's awareness.
Great discussion! I feel like my mind has opened up just listening to this thank you ❤
Glad it was helpful!
I'm in love with this episode ❤
I loved Samantha's quote about how spirituality isn't thinking about God while peeling the potatoes...it's peeling the potatoes.
I'm listening while making pies (my new passion project) and feeling so incredibly happy and peaceful after years of physical and emotional turmoil. Spirituality at its finest! Thank you for the insight, Sam ❤
Alternative medicine has given me my life back.
Thank to all for another wonderful episode.
Me too! Steph is my new hero!
❤❤❤
Awww yay!!! 💜
Just want to say THANK YOU today for transparency, honesty, critical thinking, acceptance, reality. #science
Thank you, Stephanie you just formulated a lot of insights I have had, but could not put words to it I did psychedelica too as a penticostal Christian and I recognize it a lot, but also they way you say it is with so much compassion. Jesus is just like anyone here so misinterpreted. Thank you for sharing. I have not been mormon, but I recognize a lot of dynamics and hearing your psychedelic perspective... I needed this Thank you
Steph,
THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!
I didn’t know how much I needed this. I departed from the Mormon church around 18 but at 32 I still have struggled immensely…. I feel I need further education and help to fully process and integrate a new , more realistic belief system . So I think I’m one of those people you want to help! I’ll try to reach you thru instagram ❤
I left the church a long time ago... but my parents are in a little bit of denial and constantly hope that I go back. . I married a man that was raised inactive unorthodox Catholic. He has helped me realize all of the traumas that the Mormon church has given to me and has helped me heal. We just had our first kid and shortly after, my father asked me when we were going to get our baby blessed and what church we were going to baptize him in. My husband has helped me heal enough to be able to stand up to my own father and say we aren't going to raise him in any church or organized religion. We will teach him about what churches and cultures believe, but we won't teach him what to believe. That is up to him. My father looked a little disappointed, but he thankfully understood. I made it a point to tell them that our son is not their son to raise, we as his parents will raise him and teach him.
Great talk, your guests and you are sooo special ❤❤
She puts me in mind of Emma Watson in appearance! I love her realization that when religion says everyone is welcome it's also simultaneously excluding people. Like there HAS to be exclusivity for it to even exist.
Such a great episode. Thanks for sharing your story. Always fun and interesting to hear people's experiences as a result of psychedelics. I'm excited for the future when more members of the church will have experiences like these and have their eyes opened.
Wow, what a brilliant, life-expanding conversation. Very powerful.
Stephanie! You are super amazing, beautiful, brilliant!
Even just Marijuana has enlightened me in a lot of similar ways as Stephanie and Samantha. I haven't gotten to try mushrooms yes, but I look forward to it when I finally do.
Ur spot on marghi.. When things are to intense being able to calm urself, and recognize that everything will be fine it won't last forever...
What a beautiful conversation ❤. I can relate so much.
I love when you have Sam on the show - she's always a delight!
The thing I find so interesting about Sam, is she provides incredible insight into young modern woman realities - especially within the Mormon sphere of influence. When women come on the show and they are talking about relationship situations, whether abusive or just simple strain, it's like Sam can finish their sentences. Her tone, while empathetic, comes off as, "Girl, I've been there and I know what you're talking about." I have no idea how old Sam is (late 20's? early 30's?) but it's like she has seen and heard it all and it's fascinating to hear her insights.
As a never-mo I enjoyed this episode. Thank you John!!!
Roundabout 1:45:00-1:50:00 the discussion about one trip blowing up your life and Sam says there's a certain amount of bravery to that first trip. Kind of reminds me of the disclaimer when you take a DNA test basically telling you that you might find out something you really didn't want to know or weren't prepared for. Like, I found a surprise father. Thankfully, I was fine with this discovery, but I'm sure many many people are not.
Margie asked all the right questions! She's a fantastic listener which leads to the right questions. I love when you have her hosting with you. Stephanie Brinkerhoff went about the use of psilocybin in a thoughtful way, I think. It still amazes me that the use of them lead to clarity regarding the Mormon faith, though. I still feel like I'm missing something.
Great conversation 🍄 very hopeful !
Wow. The concept of not needing to feel like you have to belong to a church or group, because of the feeling of knowing you already part of something big as a human being. It’s a beautiful concept. I would love to feel that. I appreciate what she said. Unfortunately, as long as I’m in the military, I can’t try mushrooms. It would have to be something I would try when I retire.
Another great pod cast! Thanks for this!
In a backwards story typical of my life experience, I came of age in the psychedelic 60s. I was an avowed atheist who knew there was no God. Several powerful trips on LSD made me realize my tiny little ego brain was a speck of sand in the real universe. And I had to honestly admit to myself, I knew nothing, and the possibility of there actually being a God seemed very plausible. Many spiritual challenges later, my LSD experience allowed me to embrace the truths of LDS. Funny how life works sometimes.
There is some deep wisdom here. Did not anticipate that.
Such a fantastic and captivating episode.
1:27:36 Her parents remind me of my own. In fact, my 76-year-old mom is who turned me onto this podcast.
If you ever need a guest from a very progressive, open-minded, thoughtful, liberal Utah Mormon family, I'm your guy!
My mom's perspective on premarital sex kept me a voluntary virgin until I was 22. Best decision ever.
On the other hand, I took LSD for the first time at 15, was a full-blown opioid junkie by 20, and have been a lifelong non-theist (something about the word "atheist" rubs me the wrong way).
I'm currently 45.
I think we may have been in the same ward in Layton from 3rd to 6th grade. I remember the teaching there being, not just that you will be happy, but that you have a responsibility to be happy, making being unhappy not just a consequence of sin, but a sin in itself. (A nice little self reinforcing doom spiral.) I've heard the same thing in other places, but it seemed to get more emphasis there. (Or maybe I just remember it more because that's the first place where I heard it.)
This is pretty crazy - I was raised as a Catholic, and I can't believe how much I relate to the dissociation, the gaslighting, the indoctrination, guilt, and shame.
Very interesting, though...
Mormonism and Catholicism have absolutely nothing to do with each other. Learn The TRUE teachings of catholicism before you compare.
If you truely were raised Catholic
@@art2487 She’s explaining that the effects Catholicism had on her live is comparable to what Ex-Mo folks are describing. She’s not saying that the religions are the same.
@@ShipSail97 As an ex-Evangelical, I relate to all of this as well!
At about 3 hrs 20 when you all are discussing lessons learned, John came up with "acceptance", I perceive it more as the ability to hold multiple truths.
I took mushrooms before going into an outdoor concert at age 17 and there was a moment where I was bawling because I understood the meaning of life, God and why we were here. It was a sudden understanding. Afterwards I could not explain it and it was fuzzy. I never did them again because for me it was too much. I don’t know how much I took gram wise. It was an interesting experience, trippy for sure but I knew where I was and what was going on the whole time. I went to see Pink Floyd but missed the whole concert because of it. 😂
Thanks!
Psychedelics allow you to access parts of ur brain and view things from different perspectives.... It opens your mind literally and figuratively. It helps u build compassion and understanding things from perspective u never would without the assistance.. They are very rarely detrimental and damaging. People who end up having bad experiences were often times in the wrong place, with the wrong people and often started the trip in a fearful or negative head space to begin and usually are the ones who believe that the trip will never end
John you are right about having religious trauma. You also have deep grief over losing the church. I imagine this is no news to you. What I can tell you as a Buddhist is that there is a certain ISness about everything that I think you can probably reach out and touch, experience and lose the duality of it all, the good and bad, black and white, and so on. We think we know reality, that there is a “should” or “must” be about everything, about reality itself and that gets into how we are conditioned to be either by outside influences such as the LDS church, dysfunctional parents, or the who or whatever we have been entranced by to accept a certain version of reality. Then we lose sight of its limitations, its unreality. So the psychedelics can help one break through limitations we otherwise are never conscious of.
Regarding people who get into hard drugs, I think it may be that trying weed and other psychedelics may be something they have done. But I think that there is a hard drug culture that many fall into through hanging out with people who are into those harmful substances. Right now it seems that it comes down to an issue of culture, social class, and education, if what is becoming increasingly visible to everyone that we have a societally extremely deep dysfunction with addictions that are deadly and that the homelessness we see virtually everywhere is the result of these addictions. Anyone with the least bit of knowledge of these matters knows not to take certain substances, heroin, crack, meth, fentanyl and related opioids., and of course alcohol to excess. Those things are about the least cool things around. Weed to excess can be a problem for those who are susceptible to its negative effects. Among other things it can have aftereffects that include deep depression, negative frame of mind, and loss of personal ambition.
3:41:30 i totally relate to John's feelings here. I'm exmormon plus was in a super gaslighty relationship that really messed with my head. I am also a yoga practitioner and am involved with the yoga community. Sometimes in the yoga world I run into this woowoo language in others and I immediately am turned off by it. It feels too much like gaslighting to me and that's a space i just can't be in ever again due to past trauma.
Stephanie, makes so much sense, it is, information Mormons would or should accept as a lesson, but would not use to be free of totalitarian bondage.
This was great. One of my favorite episodes for sure....and the end pitches had me laughing out loud several times...Spacious John lol.
The color schematics in this video were truly stunning.
Psychedelics are great, one time I was trippin on too much acid and I was staring at a fire pit and the fire pit turned into a mini world with little people and buildings, that was 2 years ago and it's such an experience to remember. would love to try out the psilocybin mushrooms next, just don't know where to get them, so hard to come by
[Myco_tray]
Ships psychedelics
@@sarahh321 where to search?? Is it IG?
@@Jerryberger9235 yeah, He has variety of stuffs like mushrooms, Isd, DMT even the chocolate bars
Shrooms are where it's at. If you've experienced LSD start with 2.5 grams of shrooms. Love them.
@@sarahh321 thanks, I’ll get some right away
This is my favorite episode 🔥🔥🔥 this episode is giving me “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle VIBES!
THE BEST BOOK
If you're watching this episode for the answer to the question of does mushrooms help with depression, they don't talk about it until 3 hours and 19 minutes in. You're welcome!
If you are looking for that answer, then you can google the science, watch the documentaries, and read the information available. Scientists are not only stating that it does help with mental health issues, but that they are starting to realize that it can save the lives of stroke and TBI patients and it looks like it also helps to rebuild the damaged neuropathways. The science is so good that even the super conservative states are starting to work towards legalizing it at least for medicinal reasons. The Federal Government is also looking at legalizing it too.
Yeah, that's NOT the point.
@@BebbaDubbs If you watch the video, that's the whole reason she took mushrooms, but they don't ask her if it helped until way later.
Who would watch a Mormon Stories Episode just to find out if mushrooms help with depression? It won't answer this question anyway, because it's just the personal experience of one person.
@@outwardbound2241 Well at this point today, about 23 people, that's who. It was the main question posed by the interview early on and then they forgot to get the answer.
This was so good. Thank you!!! ❤
I lol'd at work when she casually mentioned doing bufo. This lady is a fearless pychonaut.
Bufo is serious business. Beautiful and terrifying
Where can you get bufo legitimately?
There's a mushroom figurine behind John Dehlin on the shelf back there!! 😄
Guilty! It’s a piece of art gifted to me by a friend!
I noticed it immediately, but never before. 😂
How beautiful that Stephanie "found herself." Not many of us do. I love what she says about spirituality without formal religion. The world would be a better and more inclusive place if we all "got it." "It's also okay that it is not okay." Love it. Truly, what is happiness?
I live in indiana, apparently under a rock! 😂 This conversation sure is “interesting”! Always learning about new things in Mormon Stories. 😊
I live in IN. Indianapolis. There are drs here who will help patients micro dose. It's gaining popularity everywhere.
She is spot on with her comments about spirituality.
I think it should be legalized. I used to be an alcoholic until I tried mushrooms and I was able to quit alcohol and cigarettes at the same time. I use shrooms occasionally but only around a gram or less when I do it. I think overtime it's probably a lot less damaging than alcohol.
Thank You Stephanie for your possible future work! The lens must be shattered in order to be your own individual. A new lens is critical. I have to surrender to God so often bc I have immediate family members who left the church however, use the "same lens" with different words.This brings the same separation they may a well still be in the church.
I love Stephanie! She is a beautiful soul. 💖💖
I'm not sure how much of this is recency bias, but of the hundreds (maybe thousand?) of episodes I've watched of Mormon Stories, this is near the top for me. This is something I've been considering for myself for a long while and it's almost definitely going to happen if it ever becomes federally decriminalized/legal. Thank you to Stephanie, John, Margi, and Sam for doing this episode!
Inte of the best, Warmest Thanks to all of You ! from a Swede