Waking Up from the Mormon Dream - Linda Barney w/ Margi Dehlin - 1627

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ก.ค. 2024
  • What happens when a true believing mormon mom discovers that two of her “future missionary” sons are gay/queer/nonbinary? Just when Linda Barney thought she had the perfect life planned for her family, she discovered that letting her kids be exactly who they are and loving them unconditionally was a far happier and healthier path to follow than the one she had always been taught to believe in. Join us for this compelling Thrive Stories episode about Parenting LGBTQIA children.
    Thrive Stories is a new podcast series where Margi (alongside John or Jenn) will be interviewing a member of the community twice per month. The interviews will be shorter (1-2 hours), story-based, but will be focused on a particular aspect of healing and growth AFTER a Mormon faith crisis (thus the THRIVE name). They will happen on Tuesdays at noon (MST). Some examples of areas of thriving include: Family Relationships, Healthy Boundaries, Finding Community, Finding Meaning/Purpose, Dealing with Grief/Death, Religion after Mormonism, Health Sexuality, Parenting, Improving Physical Health, Identity, Health Marriage/Relationships, Secular Spirituality, Word of Wisdom 2.0, and Women Finding Their Own Voice after Mormonism.
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    Time codes:
    00:00:00 Introduction
    00:04:43 Childhood in North-eastern Utah
    00:21:14 Teenage years
    00:30:55 Baptism
    00:47:10 Homosexuality teachings in the small town
    00:51:10 Going to the temple and meeting my husband
    01:04:00 Role as a Mother in the family and church
    01:28:50 Faith Journey shifting with LGBTQIA+ children
    01:48:00 Gay son’s suicide attempt
    02:15:45 Leaving the LDS church
    02:39:25 Rebuilding
    #LDS #Mormon #PostMormon #ExMormon #MormonStories #Religion #Education #Truth #History #JosephSmith #ChurchofJesusChristofLatterDaySaints #HighDemandReligion #Cult #Patriarchy #WomensRights

ความคิดเห็น • 194

  • @yeshalloween
    @yeshalloween 2 ปีที่แล้ว +131

    My dad spent my entire childhood and youth with other peoples’ sons in scouting, in Young Mens, and as a bishop. They did so many fun things with him and went on all these adventures. They got to know him and he got to know them. But I, his daughter, was a stranger. When I lost him to suicide, I heard from all these men who loved my dad and had fond memories with him. But it stung that I didn’t have those memories and experiences. It still stings.

    • @schwabsherri
      @schwabsherri ปีที่แล้ว +6

      So sad

    • @ward26102
      @ward26102 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I'm so sorry. No dad should be neglecting his daughters, Mormon or not. I wonder if the mindset is... oh she's just going to be a wife and mother... no biggie. But any good dad is going to spend time with his daughters, individually, to teach them and love them and show them what good men are all about.

    • @anonymousone9699
      @anonymousone9699 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I’m sorry you were dealt such an aweful hand in life. I hope you learn to find joy where you can and heal in that way. I learned a few days ago that we know we are truly healing when we accept that we don’t get to redo our childhoods. Like, yes we were wronged, but no we don’t get a redo. We only get today, so we better start making up for lost bliss now. I really really feel for you. Mine is alive, but still very much unreachable for me. At this point I don’t even know if I want to, but I have a gigantic hole needing to be filled with healing and good energy. No idea how I’m gonna do it, but I’m determined to start just moving on. I don’t get a redo, but I get now.
      I’m so sorry that the Mormon church too that experience from you. It’s even worse since you are told that he was a great man but you didn’t get that. I’m sending hope and healing energy for you. It’s super unfair what happened

    • @laurenmay2098
      @laurenmay2098 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I am so sorry, this is a old episode, but I am binging. I hope you can overcome such a heartbreaking reality. Not sure what made him end his life, but mental illness has a lot to do with him avoiding being a dad to you and being whatever to others. Our responsibility is first our home, period.

    • @AS72831
      @AS72831 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@laurenmay2098I don’t think he intentionally avoided his daughter, but the church puts huge emphasis on young men being shepherded/supported/mentored by their bishop/leaders. It’s all about serve serve serve serve and if you don’t serve well enough you’re guilted criticised or judged. Or even demoted. That is quite a mental burden.
      I’m so sorry for your loss both as a teenager and your dad taking his life. It is very heartbreaking. I’m sorry that the Mormon church took him from you.

  • @lc5666
    @lc5666 2 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    Thanks for mentioning the issue with "broken home" as a phrase. I ended my marriage due to abuse so for me, my family is a lot less broken now that I am not married anymore. It hurts on a personal level when people speak about divorce as if it's an automatic disadvantage to women and children. I believe fully that it would have been much more harmful for my children (and definitely for me) if the family had "stayed together." I feel like these words and suppositions completely erase the courage required to break the status quo to ensure safety and support mental health. Abuse is what breaks families, not protecting yourself from that abuse. ❤️

    • @hoptoi
      @hoptoi ปีที่แล้ว +4

      You are so right - I never thought of it that way. Thank you for opening my eyes! Well said!

    • @beachybird1251
      @beachybird1251 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Well put.

  • @sandragalati6281
    @sandragalati6281 2 ปีที่แล้ว +199

    Never a Mormon here. When I found MSP and John a little over a year ago, I thought, “Wow, John’s voice is so comforting to me.” I enjoyed watching more and more MSPs for the stories and John’s voice. Now, after listening to Margi’s voice, and watching her grow on air, I think her voice and the way she asks questions is so comforting. Either way, i am always comforted here. ❤️🙏

    • @spunkycat6144
      @spunkycat6144 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      I know, she's like the girl version of him. I LOVE this.

    • @texella73
      @texella73 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@tananario Just stop.

    • @pamelaq6185
      @pamelaq6185 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I agree 💗

    • @JS-lm3lq
      @JS-lm3lq 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      me too

    • @teresaloeser3430
      @teresaloeser3430 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I can’t agree enough. I’m not, never have been, a Mormon. This show is so very comforting. John especially, and Margi too

  • @tawnyachristensen7310
    @tawnyachristensen7310 2 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    The most touching Thrive Story yet for me. I have much in common with Linda's life experiences. Margi did such a wonderful job in interviewing. "THERE IS NO WAY I"M GOING TO CHOOSE THE CHURCH OVER MY KIDS!" should be every mothers mantra. Thank you for sharing this with us.

    • @laurenmay2098
      @laurenmay2098 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Many chose work over children, partners, addiction. Being human is not easy. I am so guilty of some of this mess. But never giving up on learning.

  • @theroadlesstraveled3993
    @theroadlesstraveled3993 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I also chose my child over the Church. My son came out as gay, then my other child came out as non-binary a year later. We were heavily involved with the Evangelical Fundamental Church (Assemblies of God). Dealt with the same things(no suicide attempt, but came close).
    The realization of eternity vs. here and now, the falseness of scripture/literal interpretation, the fact that the leaders had no clue how to deal with our family, the deconstructing of our beliefs....I relate to all that, even though we weren't Mormon. I went through a deep grieving--- loss of children as I knew them, faith, faith community., friends, family. It was brutal, but we are 2.5 years later and doing better than ever as a family. Thank you for sharing your story and for this podcast. This is an extremely important topic that needs a platform. Much love to all.

  • @cherylduncan5158
    @cherylduncan5158 2 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    Margi is such a great interviewer.

    • @knan75
      @knan75 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes, she is!

  • @garyjcoy
    @garyjcoy ปีที่แล้ว +20

    What a powerful, intelligent and awesome Mom for supporting her children like this and figuring out how to climb out of the Matrix. One of the most powerful Mormon Stories episodes I've watched. Damn you, Mormon Stories for sucking my life away. I can't stop watching. I hope Linda and her family, children, etc. have a wonderful life.

  • @martinsmith439
    @martinsmith439 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Margi is a very relaxed and effective interviewer, she has a natural comforting style and a pleasant warm voice, well done Margi
    Martin smith ( ex Mormon) uk.

  • @lililululalabooboo
    @lililululalabooboo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    2:19:00 this part about garments really hit me. I can relate. I stopped wearing them in my mid 30ies. I didn't realize how disconnected I was with certain parts of my body. I've been working towards this, for example eventually ditching underwear all together in yoga class (no more ugly lines in yoga pants) and wearing a bikini in public for the first time at age 40. Still some lingering shame, coupled with trying to accept the appearance of natural aging. Wish I enjoyed my body more when I was younger.

    • @laurenmay2098
      @laurenmay2098 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That’s good to know you are overcoming such a situation. When I see a woman with yoga pants wearing tong underwear, I have a hard time. But it is all about the church teachings. I don’t wear them, I think it is uncomfortable, but I love to pass the judgment. It is all about my thinking, not reality.

  • @spunkycat6144
    @spunkycat6144 2 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    I was like WOW, this woman (a new co-worker is the perfect host (pretty, confident, well spoken and the perfect compliment to the dude host) and then realized they are married. If she was on the show all the time, I would watch more. I will still watch, obviously. This is a very healing place for me. So hat's off to the lady of the house (and I am a Texan so it's a cowboy hat that I am tipping down a bit).

    • @martiwillis1848
      @martiwillis1848 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes, love Margi.

    • @sandiekaye5241
      @sandiekaye5241 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Spunky cat she is there a lot of the time! I love her too! I love her voice, but I really love her questions which are always kind, gentle and cushioned with intelligent thoughtful insight. They are quite a couple.

    • @kristinaanderson4160
      @kristinaanderson4160 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      She is a huge part of the show !!! Absolutely

  • @patriciajessop2248
    @patriciajessop2248 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Linda Barney brings up an interesting point, when she said that the church leaders said, not to bring your extended family to the MTC, just Mom and Dad. The underlying authoritarian reason, is that they wanted to start controlling her son as quickly as possible, and of course to make their job easier to get more members to join, to fund the church's greed for power and domination.. !!
    What gives the church the right to start laying down the rules for HER OWN SON even before he enters the MTC? Isn't this church about keeping the family together?
    Why can't the church spend less money on building an MTC building and slowly train the missionaries while they are still at home, so that's it's less stressful leaving their family at such an early age. ..?
    The church obviously wants to remove 'parental power' as soon as possible, so they can indoctrinate the missionaries to bring new 'tithing paying members' to this 'business', disguised as a church, for the elite who enjoy all the luxury perks!!
    To me it sounds similar to the controlling German 'Reich Youth Leadership'. These members were organized into two age groups: 10-14 and 14-18, and divided into military units and to obey every word that was spoken.
    Not too different from the LDS dictatorship is it??

  • @marthaaliceallen8711
    @marthaaliceallen8711 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Perhaps the most profound episode I have watched. Wow...just wow. Thanks to all.

  • @unicorntamer2207
    @unicorntamer2207 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I love the rebuilding aspect of this series. My favorite question in any mormon stories interview is "What resource did you find helpful?" It's so good to understand where I could go next. What my options are. So thank you John and Margi. And thank you to all of your guests for being honest and brave. It's amazing and so healing for so many.

  • @62Loralee
    @62Loralee 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Thank you for bringing up the body. I’ve felt shame since i was 12 years old. I’ve hated my body and sadly created cancer five times. this brings tears to my eyes and today i feel like i want to wrap my arms around my beautiful body and say “ i love you. Thank you.” So this hit my heart so deeply. Thank you.

    • @jenben5alive458
      @jenben5alive458 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You are the only person I have ever heard say “created cancer.” I believe people are learning and waking up to the real truth, that our diseases are mostly caused by our emotional/mental conflicts! I hope you fully heal and learn to love your body. I am working on it too. 🤍🤍🤍

  • @ohjonash
    @ohjonash 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    “Be willing to update.” Such a great bit of advice!

  • @AJ-et3vf
    @AJ-et3vf ปีที่แล้ว +22

    This is such a poignant and heartfelt interview especially the part about her gay son having anxiety about serving a mission, wishing that he wouldn't reach the age of 18 so he wouldn't have to serve a mission. I could personally relate as someone who never felt excited with serving a mission, only dread.

    • @laurenmay2098
      @laurenmay2098 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      In my country military services are mandatory. You might not serve for some reasons that are in the law. Being the only son and working to help the household. Having health issues, and hight. I am sure there are other, but I think the mission robbed kids two years of their lives. Same for military, unless you decided freely to do so. But in a Mormon family is already expected of you. That’s not fair.

  • @daverichards308
    @daverichards308 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    The Church teaches that there is nothing greater than the family. When I served my mission, and overcame the mission politics, I ended up a an Assistant to the President of our mission. I had to sit in on at least 10 tribunals to send gay missionaries home. One of my companions was gay, was sent home, his family ordered him to get married, and he says he is happy, but I know that he isn't. Another one who was from a family very well known in the Church. If I said his last name you'd all know it. I bumped into him after our mission, at BYU and he came out to me. He knew that I would not judge him. He fell for a guy in Salt Lake City, dropped out of school and his parents disowned him. He became depressed and a few years later I heard that he has committed suicide. Linda Barney is a loving good mother. You don't abandon or disown your kids because they happen to be gay or bi, or transgender. You just don't. It's against Christ. Linda did the right thing.

    • @brookeshumaker
      @brookeshumaker 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Heartbreaking

    • @selfimprovement.1925
      @selfimprovement.1925 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Don’t just point your finger at the LDS church because it goes on across all rely.

    • @cherylmillard2067
      @cherylmillard2067 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@selfimprovement.1925 You're sitting astride a very tall horse, do you need a ladder?

  • @rozannmoake8146
    @rozannmoake8146 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Around 2:17:15 I love this!!!! When you realized that you married a normal man!!! NOT someone with the power of God who would be perfect in leading you to the celestial kingdom, but someone who gets to be human…who makes mistakes and is worth loving like crazy in and through all of it!
    How many marriages and families have been split up and justified in that because one of the spouses was simply a human instead of a god in the making?
    I just love that realization that deep love can be felt (and is probably more likely to be felt) when someone is truly accepted for who they are…flaws and all.

  • @bodytrainer1crane730
    @bodytrainer1crane730 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    What an awesome interview! I sobbed during this interview when Linda talked about her son and I love how she said she is trying now to live her life like it's not a trial. I also think Margie has this genius for listening deeply and synthesizing information and putting it into perspective in a beautiful respectful way. It's super cool. ❤️

  • @edithC437
    @edithC437 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    The church didn’t allowed me to go to my siblings temple weddings, … I was in my twenties, full tithe payer, very active in the church, true believer, with callings and everything…. But because I was single and didn’t went to a mission yet, I didn’t have a temple recommend, therefore couldn’t be inside the temple, while all the family was participating in the wedding ceremony, I had to wait outside.

    • @edithC437
      @edithC437 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      The funny thing is that at 8 years old I got to go inside the temple to be sealed to my parents and brothers, but for my siblings marriages I wasn’t allowed to be in that same room.

    • @smilingjacks83
      @smilingjacks83 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ​@@edithC437 That's horrible, so sorry 😢

  • @62Loralee
    @62Loralee 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I can relate with fear at home and safety at church. My dad was abusive my mom too so it was church and peace. Till church wasn’t safe anymore.

  • @YesiLaMorenita
    @YesiLaMorenita 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    I almost cried during Linda's meditation. It was so beautiful. It gave me such peace to hear it

  • @doloresmiller6646
    @doloresmiller6646 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I am loving this Thrive series.
    There is so much value in a long conversation. Her story unfolded in the most thoughtful, meaningful way.
    Between Linda’s story and Samantha Shelley’s story, this series is exactly what I needed to hear.
    Be willing to update and be teachable!
    Thank you.

  • @Uluwehi_Knecht
    @Uluwehi_Knecht 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    This is one of the most powerful interviews on this podcast. I have so much respect for her. If only my parents could have had the strength and humility to show real love as she has. I know her advice will help so many people.

  • @62Loralee
    @62Loralee 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Thank you for being so vulnerable. This is so touching. My heart to yours.

  • @boysrus61
    @boysrus61 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I would highly encourage EVERY LDS person who has a non member or inactive family member to do a civil ceremony first and then do the sealing later. The church has NEVER had a marriage ordinance and that is why couples who are sealed years into their marriage DO NOT have to get remarried. I had my brother at my wedding and my hubs had his ward. Yeah, it was less than it could have been.

    • @mormonstories
      @mormonstories  2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I agree with you and I also think the church should allow immediate family in the temple for sealing ceremonies/weddings. - Jenn

    • @boysrus61
      @boysrus61 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@mormonstories They could definitely be escorted into the room without revealing any "secrets" since those rooms are used only for sealing and temple wear is not required. On the other hand, why make the marriage ceremony in the temple more important than it is outside. Same exact significance.

  • @sethdymondlee
    @sethdymondlee ปีที่แล้ว +4

    “I just want to punch you in the face”…. 😂😂 I love this interview

  • @nathanbigler
    @nathanbigler 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I took my kids to that drag show at the Gallivan Center. My trans son was cheering the loudest! It was such a great event.

  • @rozannmoake8146
    @rozannmoake8146 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    It has never struck me so hard until watching this video how much the Mormon church says that they are all about families but how much they actually separate and divide families. What is the point of keeping loving family members out of a wedding of someone they love? What is the point in making it so a missionary can’t communicate with their family every day? How many families have been divided and damaged because one of the members wasn’t following the standards so they were ostracized or abandoned in some way?😢😢😢

  • @brittsmitten1
    @brittsmitten1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Thank you Margi and John for this series. I love the way you two host together and the way you treat each other.
    Linda, would you ever consider recording your beautiful nightly meditation so that struggling newbies like myself could listen to it while we walk? I’d also love a video of your nightly yoga! ;)
    It’s hard to know where to start, but your ideas are really inspiring! Thank you for sharing!

  • @lesliecardwell2653
    @lesliecardwell2653 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    She is wonderful and had so much wisdom to share to me and my children… thank you!🇨🇦🇨🇦❤️

  • @jessiecoe7403
    @jessiecoe7403 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    A thoughtful, insightful interview. Thank you for sharing. I love Margi’s voice … intelligent and empathetic.

  • @lauraa7387
    @lauraa7387 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    This was a fantastic episode. There’s so much beauty and strength in being teachable and open to change. Thank you for sharing, Linda!

  • @clairedunlap4367
    @clairedunlap4367 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Its comforting to hear her talk about how traumatizing the missionary experience is for families. ESPECIALLY the days when the only communication was on Christmas and Mother’s Day. The missionary experience now, being able to have Facebook and phone is a total slap in the face to all those who didn’t experience it that way.

    • @melk6049
      @melk6049 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      So since u agreed to rigid ridiculous rules u r upset that others werent abused in the same way u were? Maybe if u all refused to do missionary work under those draconian conditions the church would have made proper changes. Clearly the mormon religion changes all the time based upon pressure...usually societal pressure. Nothing in this religion is sacred and cannot be altered by "new" revelation...be more upset w yourself bc of your willingness to accept abuse.

    • @clairedunlap4367
      @clairedunlap4367 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@melk6049 You are making a lot of assumptions and taking my comment into a different context. When my sibling went on his mission I was a 12 year old child. I and most members of the church didn't/couldn't agree to the practices because most people are raised in it and that is all they know. I left the church when I was an 18 year old adult and could make my own choices.

    • @melk6049
      @melk6049 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@clairedunlap4367 ok so then i mean the "you" in the larger sense of the word since you, specifically, didnt go on a mission and accept this abuse

  • @anonymousone9699
    @anonymousone9699 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    At 1:29:40s I cracked up so hard about the twirling on the football field. Magic can’t be dimmed no matter the terrible sports uniform! 🎉

  • @caseyjude5472
    @caseyjude5472 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    What a great interview. Thanks Linda for sharing so much & being vulnerable. Many will resonate with your struggles & successes. Some parents get lucky and have one lgbtq kid- Linda has TWO! Twice the “blessings”!
    I like the idea of pairing morning coffee with personal check-ins.

  • @rebeccacrow9427
    @rebeccacrow9427 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    I just checked my old program and I saw Jaron when the show came to Kansas City! That's so cool! The cast did an incredible job!
    Edit: queer nevermo ex-southern baptist who isn't out to her family yet. I just want to say your love for your kids shines through and I hope my parents show even half of the love you showed your kids after I come out. ❤

    • @karenbehymer3634
      @karenbehymer3634 ปีที่แล้ว

      So powerful, open and honest. Extremely genuine mother's love who was brave enough to let the truth sink in...Fine caring woman!

  • @MysticMysteryMan273
    @MysticMysteryMan273 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    What a lovely, beautiful, inspiring individual and life story!! I am so touched. Just awesome.

  • @wendyromero2463
    @wendyromero2463 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I absolutely love everything about this beautiful interview! Both women touched my heart and helped me to fully understand the mother I aspire to be from here forward. ❤️

  • @Djhikes63
    @Djhikes63 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Not mormon, but most definitely a high demand religious background. I poured myself into checking off all the appropriate boxes. Tried so hard but could never attain.... I left the church broken into a million tiny shards. . I can't begin to explain how much this content is helping deconstruct it all. Thank you all

  • @robinsaxophone232
    @robinsaxophone232 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Such a touching and inspirational story.

  • @helorumtheknightsofmambrin2155
    @helorumtheknightsofmambrin2155 2 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    It's called the Mormon dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.

  • @danb2337
    @danb2337 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you to Linda for speaking her truth. I have never been Mormon but her words spoke to me.

  • @colleen4400
    @colleen4400 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I have been watching Mormon Stories Podcasts for quite awhile. This is the best one.

  • @deannapowell7237
    @deannapowell7237 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    What a beautiful ending to a very hard story. I cried, seeing myself in her shoes......so glad she told her story. I wish my parents (fundamental baptist) would listen to it. They won't, but I wish they would. 😢

  • @MerryMaryH
    @MerryMaryH ปีที่แล้ว +4

    So raw. You are an amazing woman, mother, and advocate. God has blessed us with your story.

  • @spunkycat6144
    @spunkycat6144 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Minute 9:15- Oh Jees, I used to have to euthanize animals (mostly strays) as part of my job in the military (5 years) and putting an animal down just because it wondered into a place isn't fun and truly is something that is thought about way past it's done. I bet he has a number in his head that only he knows. Everyone I know who has had to euth anything, has a number in their head. No one wants to take out an animal that is just wondering around. We need to get out of their way, not the other way around. It isn't something you talk about because you simply can't without choking up or acting like it doesn't bother you. I promise it bothers the person who had to do it. Sorry it affected the childhood though. xoxo

  • @Mizzlenum
    @Mizzlenum ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Pimary was my favorite time in the church. Maybe because as kids we don't think about other things other than play and meet with other kids. I wish I never grew up and stay in primary forver.

  • @streitrat
    @streitrat ปีที่แล้ว +4

    "We will try to keep this to two hours"...three hours later...

  • @BG-ig6fd
    @BG-ig6fd ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Great educational comments by both Margi and John.

  • @traviswolcott
    @traviswolcott 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Watching all these stories about Mormon makes me think there needs to be a podcast like this for "normal" Christen sects. Because I think most religions are cult like. Because they want you conform to what they think is right even if it is harmful.

    • @charlesmendeley9823
      @charlesmendeley9823 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      There is the channel "genetically modified skeptic" who talks about leaving protestantism with his wife.

    • @theroadlesstraveled3993
      @theroadlesstraveled3993 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @T Z I sincerely hope you never experience it, but I encourage you to hear people's stories and meet them where they are, with compassion.

    • @theroadlesstraveled3993
      @theroadlesstraveled3993 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Harmonic Atheist is another channel I would recommend. He was a Baptist pastor and is very knowledgeable about scripture/protestant theology. He gets into the similarities of scripture and Greek mythology. It's very eye-opening. He frequently interviews people who've deconstructed from Christianity. Also, scholars and authors, and those who study theology in depth.

    • @fridaytax
      @fridaytax 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Cults to Consciousness covers a broad range of different high demand religions, check it out.

  • @lylesnow8707
    @lylesnow8707 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Thanks Linda for your story.
    You’re free my friend, run like the wind, happy trails.
    Thank you John and your wife for your program. I wish I could talk with you both. Im carrying my exit by myself, can’t let my wife know. It would be to much for her and she’s my number 1.

  • @BrigitteDiessl
    @BrigitteDiessl 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    What a beautiful story. Your two LGBT+ kids are so lucky to have you as their Mum (New Zealander here) and I've just had a sneak peek at images of Sequoia. What a beauty. I've never been a Mormon either and the whole Mormon experience confuses me no end but I love MSP and loved this interview as well as the one John and Nemo did with PD.

  • @j.r.2184
    @j.r.2184 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I've recently struggled to come out to my parents as transgender and while I was pretty sure they would never disown me, I still had a hard time telling them. I think it's because I knew that, on some level, I would be asking them to choose between me and the church. Even when I know that they would always choose me, it's still shitty to have to force them into that position.

    • @Geoplanetjane
      @Geoplanetjane ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I hope your coming to you family as transgender is going well. My spouse came out to me as transgender 5 years ago and I quickly decided I had to support her in her transition and I recommend that you ask your parents to watch this particular Mormon Stories episode and I truly hope that it goes well for you and that you must remember you must behave as if you are your own best friend because you are.

    • @dr.bandito60
      @dr.bandito60 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I had to come out to my parents as trans two years ago and it was wildly difficult. I knew they’d be supportive, and even still it was so difficult. It was easier for me to tell them I was leaving the church ten years ago.
      It’s just so big and complicated and intensely personal, your gender. I didn’t think they could actually understand. Such an enormous life change.

    • @susanlange1122
      @susanlange1122 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I’m grateful for your podcast and the bravery and condor of your guests. They share their stories and it’s truly a gift to others in their journeys. God bless.

  • @tinamb5178
    @tinamb5178 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    How moving. Thank you.

  • @willbyrd8584
    @willbyrd8584 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I would have liked to have known more about how her marriage is working since she left the Mormon Church. It sounds like her husband is still Mormon?

  • @junejune1031
    @junejune1031 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Just soooo shocked people just believe all a church has to say. I’m simply saying I don’t understand the control of your life you give away. Hope peace is found.

  • @tiffanykrieger5035
    @tiffanykrieger5035 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I have told my boys you can tell me anything and I will never stop loving you. You are my child.

  • @nancyz1728
    @nancyz1728 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I am raised Catholic and was taught I would see Jesus and my family when I passed on to the next reality. I don’t think it is so defined as in the Mormon faith. I also remember my dad seeking out the Mormons on a trip through Utah to California. Mom put her foot down with a big no!

  • @morganmann5366
    @morganmann5366 16 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I have a bad habit of asking myself why my mom won’t do what this mother did and accept my sexuality despite what she believed. What I should be saying is it’s a damn shame that she won’t set aside her beliefs and accept me. It’s not because I’m so inadequate as a daughter that my mom won’t choose me over her religion. It says more about where she’s at than where I’m at.

  • @juddwestgate
    @juddwestgate 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    What a great episode! I relate to the brain cancer analogy and my kids mental health led me to leave. Family really is the most important thing, and the Mormon church exploits human nature to separate families and con believers out of money, time, and life.

  • @carolineraines6465
    @carolineraines6465 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Loved this! What an amazing, strong, thoughtful woman! Thank you!

  • @user-li1ls1jm4c
    @user-li1ls1jm4c 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Margi is such a beautiful and empathetic soul! I could listen to her all day ❤

  • @lj9524
    @lj9524 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My second time watching this discussion. I have learned something new watching this again. Thank you one and all!👏🌷💕❤️🌷

  • @graedot
    @graedot 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Margi is wonderul!! I like her so much. This is the first time I've heard her. Much better with the softer tone and she really lets the guest speak.

  • @devinshumway2347
    @devinshumway2347 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    My family constantly tell me I’m nothing but a disappointment to them because I am not a religious zealot I’m not ultra religious die hard and after I told my family I’m not going to church I’m not interested in the Mormon church because my entire life my mom and step dad forced me to go to church constantly and if I dared say no to something or I were to dare question or dare to state my own feelings and opinions about the church they would use guilt trips they would use threats they would use intimidation tactics and I’m autistic and whenever I get ultra upset or angry it can take me months to calm back down the last time I went to the Mormon church my branch president openly at the pulpit told people in the church not to speak to me or to be friend me because of a group I did business with in my home I was slapped I was threatened I was constantly told I was handicap and or retarded my step dad was a detective and he used his badge and power as a way to threaten me not to question his demands and my mom is basically the type of person who’s to scared to voice her opinions so I grew up under constant verbal or physical abuse and no one believes to this day that my step dad uses the churches guilt trip and attempted brainwashing on me to this day

  • @NerdyGirlLiveLove
    @NerdyGirlLiveLove 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Cried. Such a good episode

  • @prestonflatt
    @prestonflatt ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thanks for that inspiring story.

  • @zjaneg
    @zjaneg ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What a wonderful interview. Thank you.

  • @graedot
    @graedot 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    It's so interesting that when it's our children we'll lose our judgment. I think we need to learn from that. If it was our child, how would we feel?

  • @shackledcitizen
    @shackledcitizen ปีที่แล้ว +5

    The mormon church, the sad place, where non thinkers go.

  • @Kawiboy
    @Kawiboy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Very much Appreciate You'all 👏 OLD G 😉

  • @macrograms
    @macrograms ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What I hear that echoes what I remember:
    * Homophobia is much more important than peoples' safety
    * Anti-medication rhetoric that is from ignorance not good sense
    * Your whole church-life planned for you when you are a baby
    * High demand LDS, robs parents/children of positive time
    * Self-blame, shame, and ignorance leads to bad outcomes for all
    -=-
    Sure, you can say this is common to many churches or those without church. But I remember it being much LOUDER and pervasive than other places I went. Not the same. F*** eternity, indeed. The "pie in the sky - that's a lie" revelation is a hard one but a good one once you get through it [there is a song you can listen to on youtube about it].

  • @AJ-et3vf
    @AJ-et3vf ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Awesome video! THank you!

  • @michellesunshinestar
    @michellesunshinestar ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I don't really have much of a story to tell. It's really boring. I was a convert. I was a non-Mormon for longer than I was a convert for. So, I walked away really easily.

  • @pupfish713
    @pupfish713 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I love Margi

  • @nsteiler1
    @nsteiler1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This story was too much for me. I feel sorry for Linda. Don’t know how she will be able to go forward. In her past. she was a follower. I wish her much strength going forward.

  • @Sqeptick
    @Sqeptick 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Chills when she talked about supporting Devon by going to the bar and the pride parade, and the experience she had at both.

  • @debbieescobar6267
    @debbieescobar6267 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    What is the connection of the Masonic Lodge to the Mormon church?

  • @jodiebostrom5675
    @jodiebostrom5675 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You are an amazing couple! We were stationed at Hill AFB in Ogden. Did not feel welcome in the community. We needed guidance to know how our children would be ‘shunned’ in our neighborhood. Of course, we sold our home at top dollar for a family that wanted to live in that ward. We moved to the Air Force base and let our kids embrace the multi-cultural and racial diversity in the AFB. Love the beauty of Utah - don’t love the culture. Yet, we are white and blonde people. That is a requirement, right?

  • @sunshineinarizona1726
    @sunshineinarizona1726 18 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I love to see mothers that put their children first. I wasn't raised in any religion as my mom always told me that I can pray anytime from anywhere. When I was in my 30s I became a single mom and always put my son first. My son is 31 y/o and has never smoked or drank or got into trouble with the law. You don't need religion to be a good person or to love God.

  • @Jojo1957
    @Jojo1957 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Why do you have the subtitles off? I depend on them to understand what is being said as I am partially deaf. Help. Please make this available in the future! I would really appreciate it. Thanks, Jojo from Mississauga Ontario in Canada

    • @mormonstories
      @mormonstories  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It usually takes TH-cam a day or so to get them attached for us. We hope we see them soon. :)

    • @scrambledegg347
      @scrambledegg347 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      There are subtitles. Go to your settings and click on cc.

  • @EagleHawkColorado
    @EagleHawkColorado ปีที่แล้ว +2

    So powerful 💖💐

  • @AubreyJM
    @AubreyJM ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Whoa. This lady described classic cult behavior. She did not entertain doubts. * facepalm * It seems glaringly obvious now.

  • @winddown4822
    @winddown4822 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Donated my church pictures and books too

  • @cabrown308
    @cabrown308 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Alcoholics are often attracted to high risk/reckless jobs because it allows us to make sense of anxiety feelings. (I’m sober 41+ yrs)

  • @patambassadorfortruth3829
    @patambassadorfortruth3829 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks!

  • @Mr2blue2
    @Mr2blue2 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Nice interjection at about the 54:00 min mark John. This is spiritual Blackmail plain and simple.

    • @Mr2blue2
      @Mr2blue2 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The Mormon church is basically charging admission to go to your family weddings.... admission that runs into the 100's of thousands of dollars.

  • @DarisLancaster
    @DarisLancaster ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I never skip the ads on your youtube videos... Your podcast deserves all the support I can give! Former Mormon #formon

  • @mikisauto-ms3eb
    @mikisauto-ms3eb ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I'm LDS with all the priesthoods I'll love to be in your show and share my Mormon stories if you'd like

  • @gracebe235
    @gracebe235 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I guess my personal experience with ‘bars’ and ‘alcohol’ were majorly different. We were inactive after I was baptised at age 8. I hated the smell of cigarettes, and I hated being around alcoholics and their abuse and rage.
    My mom and older sisters wanted to go to a bar and took me with them….I was 15. I hated it! Older icky men were hitting on me!
    My whole family became alcoholics and or junkies. The abuse is off the scale!
    So consequently, I won’t have anything to do with alcohol around me in any form…..meaning, if you are intoxicated, you best get away from me! I won’t tolerate being abused by an ahole. And that’s the only drinkers I ever saw. My dad would beat my mom every other night that he was home from the fire station. They divorced when I was 12.
    I won’t be around drug users either, meth heads are the worse of the bunch. My son finally kicked it…..would have kicked it sooner if a stupid friend of his had listened to me…..he had to ‘hit bottom’, you should not ‘enable’ him. When he finally ran out of people to use, he came to me…..as hard as it was, I had to let him hit bottom. I prayed for God to watch over him and keep him safe, while I showed him the door in the middle of July in Arizona. I handed him a shopping bag with a little bit of pop-top canned food and plastic utensils and water…..and a ton of crocodile tears…..it was soooo hard! But it had to be done, or he would just do the same thing to me that he had done to everyone else…..so I couldn’t allow him to stay under my roof. I KNEW the ‘nature of the beast’.
    Thankfully, he finally straightened out. But then he had to kick the alcohol. It took a few tries, but he made it through that too.
    He told me that there was no other way that he would have been able to quit, that the ‘tough love’ that I showed him had to be done.
    I am not in the church anymore, I haven’t been for nearly five years now.
    I have always loved the smell of coffee, but hate the taste. I don’t drink it…..but make it for others.
    No alcohol.
    No drugs.
    I had too many bad experiences around addicts of these things.
    I no longer have any contact with my family of birth….they are abusive, even when not ‘under the influence’. I have read in codependency books, that an issue with one’s personality/who they are, precedes the alcohol/drug abuse…..not the other way around as many think. In other words, the alcohol didn’t make them the aholes that they were…..they were aholes first, which led to the alcoholism/drug abuse. The alcohol/drug abuse only magnified their abusiveness more……WAY MORE.
    Cutting them and the church out of my life has been a part of my ‘rebuilding’.

  • @windyday85
    @windyday85 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    John I watched your episode on T Ballard. You mentioned that you have friends that you love who believe the brothern sac rifice and e a t little one's. I really need to know more about this.. What are your thoughts?? Thank you John

  • @hasaheadachenow
    @hasaheadachenow ปีที่แล้ว +3

    All religions require blind faith. Close you eyes, imagine this! I used to think I couldn’t ever be pulled into a cult. I was so sure it could never happen… then I joined a Catholic Church. Because I haven’t been brainwashed yet, I learn , ask questions, and listen well. Holy hell, I’m in a friggan cult. So I in search of a place to worship, went back to my childhood baptist roots. I looked listened well… holy hell , what’s happening here? Wow! Again…cultish events and or requirements. Ok I’m out …

  • @laneykane8062
    @laneykane8062 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Hey Mormons….leave them kids alone!!!!

  • @josephbarr4468
    @josephbarr4468 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Wonderful story and content, Linda is so sincere and sweet. I hope the true Christian gospel prevails with those that have not had a good experience with "religion".

    • @DuchessChau
      @DuchessChau 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      What a response!
      I’m listening to this woman talk about her child’s suicide, and all her other trials. Last thing on my mind is “ well… I hopes she finds the right Jesus.”

  • @avasgranb1
    @avasgranb1 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Why couldn’t the mother here not have any communication with her son while he was away?

  • @hayalistanbul5418
    @hayalistanbul5418 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    You mean Mormon nightmare

  • @winddown4822
    @winddown4822 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I threw away all my garments also.

    • @karengastelum3357
      @karengastelum3357 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I pressed “like”, now multiply it times 1000,000 😂😂😂

    • @winddown4822
      @winddown4822 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@karengastelum3357 lolol!!!

  • @AmyRuby
    @AmyRuby 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The idea that you need to parent from a place where you have LGBTQIA kids is irrelevant, you have to parent your kids to be good humans regardless of orientation and gender.

  • @truthdectector4002
    @truthdectector4002 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The Mormon Church is so mean and judgemental. These kids and people have no choice in their sexuality, I had a gay brother who was gay as long as I can remember and he was judged harshly, hurt and rejected by the Mormons and I now have a gay son who didn't choose to be gay he was gay from the time he was tiny...he always liked girl things. He was diagnosed with autism and being gay dealt two very tough cards...now he is an amazing song writer, performer, producer and recording artist...he's an amazing kid...He's healthy and happy.