Taxi/ Uber drivers. Tell me your stories in the replies HERE. GOLD COAST Show tonight, grab your tickets! www.friendlyjordies.com/live-show Political staffers, if you've got a story send it to:friendlyjordies@protonmail. com (remove the space before com)
I’m not an Uber driver, but I’ve spoke to a lot of Uber drivers. Like this one dude a few years back, who I was so afraid of, who I swear looked just like one of Sasha Baron Cohen’s characters, was just telling me about the time he got really high in Nepal and was a Buddhist monk, along with every other conspiracy under the sun like anti vaccine stuff and what not. I was so terrified that I just nodded and said yes to everything he was saying. And then the other day, had a guy tell me the CIA assassinated John Lennon, but I kind of agree with that one.
Not a taxi/Uber driver, but when I went to New Orleans the Uber driver who picked us up was the most lively, entertaining and engaging driver I've ever had, he was also African-American so I was prepared for some interesting landmarks being pointed out or stories. While regailing us tales of his life (he has two daughters and he lit up talking about them) the only landmark we were introduced to was a gas station, and in the most southern, and in that welcoming unwelcome accent "Ain't no way you goin to that gas station. That fried chicken will leave ya crappin fluids for a week!". An entire week in New Orleans and THAT will always be my capstone memory: A jovial, large black man with violent fried-chicken diarrhea. Marvelous.
Simply put, second drive of my first night driving as an uber, picked up a literal goblin from the city, (he was sweating or excreting green… liquid?) and smelled similar to what I imagine the inside of an illegal sperm bank smells like. Regardless, quick 10 minute drive luckily but 4 minutes in, he began nutting a quick one out. When I asked him what he was doing, he just snarled and continued. When I got to the destination, he moaned and just got out without either of us exchanging any words, (he didn’t say any words the whole time). Glad he didn’t sit in the front, wouldn’t have been worth the $8
This just confirms what I have always suspected, when you hire a tradie to do any sort of work for you there's a fifty/fifty chance they're either a complete lunatic or the smartest people alive, there is no inbetween.
i mean at least it's easy to find a good one & stick with it... on the other hand, when you have to go to the emergency room at the hospital you dont have the luxury to only work with the best
At my shop we occasionally have a women who insists that there are CIA bugs in her car. One time my father (just to get her out of the office) said he'd use his "Sweeper" to find the bugs, and grabbed the first thing in reach. He just sorta walked around the car and said "Ah yeah there you go they're all disabled now." She occasionally comes back for resweeps. Last I heard she got thrown in jail for public disturbance. she also shit herself to avoid the arrest. Nice lady though.
My nephew found a rat nest in the door frame of his sports car no idea how they got there since we need to use one of those cameras on a wire to even find it and all the holes leading into that crevice was the size of a finger and the only reason we looked for it was cause there was a smell that was driving him nuts 😂
Just finished my electrical trade, but because it is government based we had a lot of testing and benchmarks to meet to get hired. Some of the stuff the tafe teachers told us about their other classes I wouldn’t trust them to know how to turn on a flashlight.
Aircraft mechanics aren't the only people with a surplus on excessive verbiage in reports. A catastrophic fire on board a cargo ship I was working on was officially declared as a "thermal event" in the insurance report
I was in a taxi heading to Tullamarine. The driver told me that the previous weekend he had picked up a very drunk grannie after the footy. He knew he shouldn’t but he thought that on another day it could be his mum. As they headed along the Tulla freeway she opened the window and did a technicolour yawn. When she finished she screamed at the driver to stop. She had vomited her teeth out. He stopped and collected them for her. She duly replaced then in her mouth.
Had a customer do that when I was working at a bar once. Ordered a drink, as I brought the pint they spewed their teeth out on to the floor behind the bar. I picked their teeth out of the puke, and they put them back in their mouth. I cleaned the floor up while they sipped their new pint.
Have had 3 different Taxi drivers fall asleep behind the wheel with me in the front passenger seat drunk out of my mind. Each time I grabbed the wheel and as safely as I could kept us on the road while they accelerated, each of them woke up and yelled at me for touching the wheel.
At my last retail job, I had a co-worker who was an elderly woman. She suddenly started smelling like death one summer. It got worse every day and by the time they pulled her into the office to talk about hygiene, you could smell her if she was standing at the end of a 24' aisle. Turns out, her cat had passed 3 weeks ago and she put it in a shoebox in her trunk. Her original thought was to bury him but she couldn't afford the cremation, let alone a plot at a pet cemetery, so she was waiting for another payday to save up. Management sent her home and gave her the next two days paid leave. They pooled their money together and the store owner dropped off the money off at her house. They didn't fire her but she never did come back. No idea where she is now, dead or alive.
Drove taxis for a year. Once picked up two best friends (regulars) after they had a night on the drinks. One of them was insistent he would walk home because he had no money to put in for the ride. Long story short they ended brawling in the taxi over $20 fare and one was pretty badly beaten and probably hospitalized. Had to pull them out while they kept fighting. Besides cleaning the blood up, I'd say 9/10 night
My friend is a former mechanic. He had this sketchy old guy working at the shop with them who was a total dumbass. One day a car rolls in and they have the check something to do with the oil after turning it off My friend (who was like 16 at the time) opened the valve and started looking at the engine. For whatever reason, the old guy turns the car ON. Friend gets absolutely spackled in oil and yells for it to stop. After being confronted, old ass just shrugs. I think he was fired within the week
I used to work in a mechanics shop during my uni semester breaks and I’d be leaning into the engine bay looking to see what the problem was, then a particular colleague known for antics would come over and say “have much luck?” Me, trying to concentrate saying “nah mate, nothing yet”, he’d then proceed to put his cupped hand in front of my face and say “this might do the trick”, me being completely oblivious looks up and takes a breath saying “what’s that” only to almost chunder from being cupcaked by short middle aged fat dude that only ever ate servo food and iced coffees. Being young and working at a mechanics shop has a steep learning curve.
We were driving to Vic from Sydney for Christmas so got the family car serviced. They replaced the timing belt and all up cost around $2k. 2 hrs in, lost power so pulled over and the engine was on fire. We put it out using our drinking water, but it was a write-off. The mechanic hadn't secured the new timing belt.🙄 So we're in the middle of nowhere on the M31, it's nearly midnight on Christmas Eve, no car, no phone reception, no drinking water and 2 kids under 5. Walked along the highway until I got a bar of reception and called roadside assistance. We got a tow truck to tow us back to Sydney (poor bugger) getting home a few hours before sun up on Christmas Day. It cost thousands to get flights down on Boxing Day, but then we were stuck on my Mum's farm in country Victoria with 2 small kids in 40 degree heat with no car. The mechanic claimed it wasn't his fault and despite the insurance company assuring us they'd investigate, they didn't. He got away with shafting us.
i worked in a diesel repair place for a few years in semi-rural us. happy to say that at least with us we actually did everything right, tried to save customers what we could when we can. one tech spent 6 hours rewiring something only to find out the replacement part was actually in stock. but most mechanics are shady as hell just get a big rig at this point
I'm suprised there wasn't any story's about dildos. I was servicing a Ford ranger one day and while trying to replace the cabin filter the glove box was filled with condom wrappers and a double ended dildo. One of the biggest miners I've ever seen came to pick up the car.
I had a girl who'd put a big black horse sized cock on her gearshifter. We sent the apprentice to "Loosen the gear shifter" and gave him a pair of rubber gloves. He walked off so confused but came back telling us to get fucked
uber eats driver here, one night in bunbury i picked up from south bunbury maccas at 10pm, i picked up an order and drove to a suburb called Withers which is where all the statehousing is and isnt really somewhere you wanna be at 10pm. upon arrival there was no lights, it was a dead end street and the house was a chop shop with cars everywhere, was questioning whether the 8 dollars was worth it. when i grabbed the food from my esky i realised that i hadnt emptied the ice from it so the entire bag was submerged in water. holding the bottom of the bag i wandered into the pitch black yard where 2 Rottweilers approached me growling. terrified i dropped the soggy bag of food in front of the dogs and backed away. got an upvote lol
Im sure the are plenty of sailors who are willing to share stories. One of my first experiences with yacht racing was of a conversation with a fellow sailor about how one race they kidnapped a stripper on the way back to Newcastle from the sunshine coast
Did some work experience at Scania. One of the apprentices forgot to empty one of the oil catches, I went to use it in which it promptly overfill, tried to plug the hole. Ended up slipping and landing on flat on my back, was completely covered like a black oil bukkake. Great times
FYI, in the late eighties, the trucks did stop and the governance Bent over immediately. My family were part of that and I was in Melbourne when it happened.
We need a childcare workers confess sins.... Where I work there's a lot of kids that come through, so we have an indoor play area. It happens to have a climbing frame thing that lots of parents tend to sit under... It is not an uncommon occurrence for kids to pee while on the climbing frame, and it's not entirely unheard of for that pee to end up on someone's head... Anyway, staff are told not to stand under it when we get our training, however, no such warning is given to parents when they enter.
I was a mechanic for a tree lopping company, the tree workers are literally running off drugs during storm season. Kinda like the trucking industry back when log books werent required
Worst taxi experience I had was getting a ride back from Sydney Airport after I flew back from Thailand, it's been a while but I think it was that silver cab thingo. Here's me, jet lagged af and half asleep when I get fing launched forward and slammed into the seat infront of me. This indian guy (anyone who has been in an Australian taxi knows what I mean) had either had too much to drink or was as tired as had hit a car and then decided to make a run for it. Got pulled over by the cops not long after. Coppers ripped the driver a new one but just let me chill in the car while I waited for a new taxi. At least I got a free taxi ride out of it
Im going to be doing an auto-collision course at my tech college next fall then next year auto-tech so I can be certified n shit. I can’t say any of this is out of the realm of what Im expecting for me😂 Wish me luck brother
There's probably stories about 1) women going there with a black eye 2) karens who complain about everything 3) people who run and get a taxi to avoid paying
Iv seen an exhaust pipe made out of coke cans tied together with hose clamps. Iv seen a truck with both chassis rails severed and all the body mounts fully decomposed. In my opinion opening all 4 doors at once would cause the structure to collapse. Vibrating seat pads 😏 urine bottles disabling the airbag sensors. Iv seen a game hen penetrate a heat exchanger. A boy lowered his own car and proceeded to get two new engine sumps in two weeks before an offroading misadventure tore into half his floor.
Damn it, I put in a submission, but I also had someone who didn’t pump their brakes after a brake job in the bay across the alley from mine put it into reverse and accidentally back all the way into my coworker’s multi hundred pound toolbox pushing it into the wall behind and buckling it.
Flashback to the pokies video where he read about somebody dying at a machine only for their earnings to be swiped while they were being attended to and Jordan immediately starts laughing maniacally
regarding the first story, I wasn't suprised to see someone who just got 'the good stuff' as I'll refer to it, out of the customer's bag, as I'm friends with someone doing an apprenticeship who was an addict. I'd sometimes share a couple of joints with them when we hung out but I know for a fact my friend's dealer is one of his co-workers
My girlfriends dad (Gezza) was a taxi driver, he once picked a guy up from a pub in Werribee (essentially a suburb of both Melbourne and Geelong - so purgatory) and the guy was bragging about what he had achieved during the night. Gezza, being curious asked what he had done and he was uncontrollably laughing while showing Gezza his Snapchat story where he had filmed himself busting 8 pint glasses in the toilet bowl of said pub. Also bonus story, my friend and I caught a cab once just to bully him. We got in and prepaid and had our mate tailgate the cab while we chanted “taxi driver takes it up the ass, do da, do da, taxi driver takes it up the ass all the do da day” while snap chatting the driver with the flash on until the prepaid fare expired and he kicked us out. We were 20, I do not endorse my behaviour even if I still find it hilarious
I had 5 drunken yahoos in my cab and one of them dropped a horrendous fart, I stopped the cab and got out, they were all asking me to get back in, but I declined, they said At least turn the meter off, and I said NO WAY , your'e paying for that, to which they all laughed and told me what a great guy I was AND gave me a sizeable bag of ganga upon exiting...ahhh the stories I could tell
As someone who has worked in a garage most problems are solved by just hitting it and we hardly do any thinking if you don’t know a layout just google it or read the manual
Do a video on tabletop and boargame gaming stores! Please! Used to go to one where it turned out after the place eventually shut down that the guy running it was a perpetual alchoholic that got divorced and refused to pay employees instead just cycling on any person gullible enough he could find, also tried suing anybody who slighted him for attempted millions. All that while running a weed farm from the room nextdoor which was easily visible from the room where everyone played warhammer. I knew a lot of the regulars had autisn too so it was kinda like growing weed on hard mode next to a room full of police alarms. Gues he just liked risk. Im sure thered be plenty of stories from gaming stores which everyone naturally looks at as innocent fun, i certainly know ive experienced a few 😂
I'll tell you about my cousins attempt of being an Uber driver. He was just starting college and wanted to get some extra money to spend and thought uber would be great. His first customers was a couple of brothers who wanted a ride to Alice Springs; my cousin has never been to Alice Springs and assumed it was some kind of nice town or something, either way it was a few hours drive and he was going to make a mint from it. The brothers messed & heckled him the entire ride over... but hey money is money. When they arrived they pulled my cousin out of the car, stole his shoes, phone and the car and drove away. He walked barefoot about two hours until someone took pity on him and called him a taxi. They eventually found his car tossed down a hill and burned out by a fire.
Aircraft mechanic terms are great, my favourites are "well, thats slightly suboptimal" when reacting to something that is completely disastrous, and "its fucked" used as a completely technical term of course.. 😂😂😂 there is no miscommunication when you use straightforward terms 😝
United States citizen here. I’m currently in school to be an Aircraft Mechanic and I can confirm that you have to document EVERYTHING. And the classifications are crazy.
our local travis bickle in south Victoria goes my the name *** dial, and his personal card reads *** dial, drive in style. he gave me a lift home from the pub one night and he was awfully happy (usually he was always in a foul mood) and I asked why he was so happy, he goes its my birthday and the boss got me this for a present, he then pulled out from his driver side door a half drunk bottle of jim beam with the blue label, i guess its the fancy one or something and even forgot to charge me for the lift...absolute legend !
If you come to a shop with no money for a tyre, and your tyre is obliterated, they can just give you one of their junk tyres that they took off of another customer`s car when they replaced them, if they have any in the size that your wheels can fit(most wheels can fit 3 sizes in width, the nominal and 1-/+)... It`s better than to just toss them away, especially as some people just replace tyres like stupid, wasting good rubber, whereas others can barely afford a double set every 4 years and that is talking universals, not even winter/summer sets... But it has to be a private shop and not a brand dealership/repair shop... That is - if the shop changes tyres as a part of their services, if not - no tyres for you... But i don`t think that any mech would tell you no, maybe they will charge you some for the tyre and whatever for the service of changing a tyre and balancing, but 20 bucks for rubber is better and will likely be less offsetting to the car what with relatively comparable wear levels to your current tyres, than a new one would be - requiring you to get 2 just to balance out the axle pair... -edit Jesse fucking Pinkman, this reminds me of the times when i apprenticed as a mechatronics tech... Had some asshat pull in with a car, some 90`s piece, badly taken care of, full of junk everywhere(not stuff, actual garbage like tissues, old food...) - the inside stank so fucking rotten that it made you want to set the fucking thing on fire, shit stank like vomit inside...
I have one from my old workshop as a 1st year a dude comes in from a big trip in a commodore wagon and it needed rear brakes badly as the calipers were shot and there was no brake pads left after the job was complete the customer comes in to pay and say thank you as we were talking we were wondering how the trip was he turned around and said it was good but going back next weekend story short he wasn’t exploring he was hunting mick Taylor down I told him you mean Ivan and he was like don’t be stupid it’s mick then said anyway cheers of to get him safe to say never seen him again 🤦♂️
I was in an Uber heading home from a night class and the woman driving says to me “It’s been a year since I last drove, and I don’t know the area. Can you tell me where to go?”. I did not know where to go, because this was on some random freeway far from my place. I was very spooked the rest of the trip and just prayed we wouldn’t crash
Well that was no 'Just rolled in'. I have many a story ajacent to the "Air Con stinks!!" tale, How do you tell someone, hey just switch from recycle from time to time and you won't get concentrated BO blasted in your face.
So, good ideas for a "Confess their SINS" video, food delivery drivers. I've been offered weed as a tip before (I took the tip). 90%+ of delivery drivers are stoners I guarantee it, plus you deliver to some wild people sometimes.
I used to be an Uber driver. The funniest one for me was when I picked up a British woman from Manly. It was the night after the BREXIT vote. She was a bit tipsy and talking about it non stop. Mid sentence, she starts spewing violently all over her shirt. None hit the car inside surprisingly. She then started balling her eyes out. She was sorry and said it was because she couldn’t handle the BREXIT vote. I drop her off and she gives me a $100 tip for being so understanding. There was also the white powder fuelled trip, but that is another story………..
I work in a car bodyshop and i remember we had some guy tell us he has a small scratch on his door. It was creased in and the crash bar inside was fucked. Tell him it needs a new door and he was surprised. I dont think the reality of car damage hit him as hard as whatever hit the door
I had to get a car passed a wof inspection one time (like a pink slip) I ended up siliconeing a crack in the window, rubbing boot polish into all the surface cracked rubbers and running a jumper wire from the oil pressure light to the ABS light It passed, and thankfully said car has been scrapped now 👀
Im pretty sure me and my family were going to be killed by a taxi driver once. It was in a poorer country with little regulation around it. I was a lil kid, no memory of it. I think my father was backseat driving and the guy just snapped, I guess he had other stuff going on. Starts driving into the wilderness at a really high speed. Apparently were out in the middle of nowhere on gravel roads going through fields when my father convinces him to bring us back. Mostly by trying to calm him down and apologizing. Theres to many of those stories when I was too little to remember them. Some parents just role the dice, I got lucky.
![เปิด อาณาจักร หมื่นล้าน "สาระตั้ม" l [Nickynachat]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/3XE0nPF4YkQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Taxi/ Uber drivers. Tell me your stories in the replies HERE.
GOLD COAST Show tonight, grab your tickets! www.friendlyjordies.com/live-show
Political staffers, if you've got a story send it to:friendlyjordies@protonmail. com (remove the space before com)
I’m not an Uber driver, but I’ve spoke to a lot of Uber drivers. Like this one dude a few years back, who I was so afraid of, who I swear looked just like one of Sasha Baron Cohen’s characters, was just telling me about the time he got really high in Nepal and was a Buddhist monk, along with every other conspiracy under the sun like anti vaccine stuff and what not. I was so terrified that I just nodded and said yes to everything he was saying. And then the other day, had a guy tell me the CIA assassinated John Lennon, but I kind of agree with that one.
How did you post this 26 mins ago, if the video has only been up for 6?
Not a taxi/Uber driver, but when I went to New Orleans the Uber driver who picked us up was the most lively, entertaining and engaging driver I've ever had, he was also African-American so I was prepared for some interesting landmarks being pointed out or stories. While regailing us tales of his life (he has two daughters and he lit up talking about them) the only landmark we were introduced to was a gas station, and in the most southern, and in that welcoming unwelcome accent "Ain't no way you goin to that gas station. That fried chicken will leave ya crappin fluids for a week!". An entire week in New Orleans and THAT will always be my capstone memory: A jovial, large black man with violent fried-chicken diarrhea. Marvelous.
Simply put, second drive of my first night driving as an uber, picked up a literal goblin from the city, (he was sweating or excreting green… liquid?) and smelled similar to what I imagine the inside of an illegal sperm bank smells like. Regardless, quick 10 minute drive luckily but 4 minutes in, he began nutting a quick one out. When I asked him what he was doing, he just snarled and continued. When I got to the destination, he moaned and just got out without either of us exchanging any words, (he didn’t say any words the whole time). Glad he didn’t sit in the front, wouldn’t have been worth the $8
M8 talk about the ford falcon xr8 au, the greatest vehicle to leave an ausie factory line. Cause you can’t spell Australia without AU.
This just confirms what I have always suspected, when you hire a tradie to do any sort of work for you there's a fifty/fifty chance they're either a complete lunatic or the smartest people alive, there is no inbetween.
That can be said for literally anyone in any profession
there is a third option
and that is that they are both
i mean at least it's easy to find a good one & stick with it... on the other hand, when you have to go to the emergency room at the hospital you dont have the luxury to only work with the best
Fucking aye 😂
@@BensSightSoundandAutoI don’t think you understand. Quite how far the difference between absolute shit house and god tier work is 😂
At my shop we occasionally have a women who insists that there are CIA bugs in her car. One time my father (just to get her out of the office) said he'd use his "Sweeper" to find the bugs, and grabbed the first thing in reach. He just sorta walked around the car and said "Ah yeah there you go they're all disabled now." She occasionally comes back for resweeps. Last I heard she got thrown in jail for public disturbance. she also shit herself to avoid the arrest. Nice lady though.
Im sure she is just lovely
Shitting yourself to own the cops. Powermove
You got it all wrong man; the C.I.A. shit her pants to make her stop wiping the car!
😂😢😮😂
@@danielleclark-zack864🤦♂️🤘
Honestly as a mechanic myself...most 'strong bad aircon smells' are deceased rats stuck in blower motors. Its remarkably common.
99% chance
None of it is B. O., like in "Seinfeld"?
My nephew found a rat nest in the door frame of his sports car no idea how they got there since we need to use one of those cameras on a wire to even find it and all the holes leading into that crevice was the size of a finger and the only reason we looked for it was cause there was a smell that was driving him nuts 😂
I think a video of the ‘Tales of Aussie Apprentices’ is sorely needed
Agreed
Don't!! it will explain everything!
Probably worth the trouble of doing a full story though.
The system ain't great
I second this, tales from all professions
Just finished my electrical trade, but because it is government based we had a lot of testing and benchmarks to meet to get hired.
Some of the stuff the tafe teachers told us about their other classes I wouldn’t trust them to know how to turn on a flashlight.
Don't forget the trainees from traineeships
Aircraft mechanics aren't the only people with a surplus on excessive verbiage in reports.
A catastrophic fire on board a cargo ship I was working on was officially declared as a "thermal event" in the insurance report
i mean i feel like thermal event is kinda underselling it but its true i guess
jeep used the same terminology when all those jeeps were catching fire a decade or so ago
@@lysdexiar31 They really are cursed cars
I was in a taxi heading to Tullamarine. The driver told me that the previous weekend he had picked up a very drunk grannie after the footy. He knew he shouldn’t but he thought that on another day it could be his mum. As they headed along the Tulla freeway she opened the window and did a technicolour yawn. When she finished she screamed at the driver to stop. She had vomited her teeth out. He stopped and collected them for her. She duly replaced then in her mouth.
😂😢 poor moms 😂
At least she opened the window first
what colorful language. i love it. technicolor yawn😂
Noted!
If I have dentures when I'm older and I need to chuck while driving.
Take teeth out first!
Had a customer do that when I was working at a bar once. Ordered a drink, as I brought the pint they spewed their teeth out on to the floor behind the bar. I picked their teeth out of the puke, and they put them back in their mouth. I cleaned the floor up while they sipped their new pint.
Have had 3 different Taxi drivers fall asleep behind the wheel with me in the front passenger seat drunk out of my mind. Each time I grabbed the wheel and as safely as I could kept us on the road while they accelerated, each of them woke up and yelled at me for touching the wheel.
Epic! 🤘😎
Honestly that’s pretty sad.
that's so dodgy omg the drunk person having to take charge of the car god damn
At my last retail job, I had a co-worker who was an elderly woman. She suddenly started smelling like death one summer. It got worse every day and by the time they pulled her into the office to talk about hygiene, you could smell her if she was standing at the end of a 24' aisle. Turns out, her cat had passed 3 weeks ago and she put it in a shoebox in her trunk. Her original thought was to bury him but she couldn't afford the cremation, let alone a plot at a pet cemetery, so she was waiting for another payday to save up. Management sent her home and gave her the next two days paid leave. They pooled their money together and the store owner dropped off the money off at her house. They didn't fire her but she never did come back. No idea where she is now, dead or alive.
thats just fuckin sad man fuck
Early on, in your comment, I thought the twist was that the old lady had died and you didn't even notice for a couple of days.
@@dhenderson1810 Sounds like a spin off to Weekend at Bernie's lol
Drove taxis for a year.
Once picked up two best friends (regulars) after they had a night on the drinks.
One of them was insistent he would walk home because he had no money to put in for the ride. Long story short they ended brawling in the taxi over $20 fare and one was pretty badly beaten and probably hospitalized. Had to pull them out while they kept fighting. Besides cleaning the blood up, I'd say 9/10 night
My friend is a former mechanic. He had this sketchy old guy working at the shop with them who was a total dumbass. One day a car rolls in and they have the check something to do with the oil after turning it off
My friend (who was like 16 at the time) opened the valve and started looking at the engine. For whatever reason, the old guy turns the car ON. Friend gets absolutely spackled in oil and yells for it to stop. After being confronted, old ass just shrugs. I think he was fired within the week
I used to work in a mechanics shop during my uni semester breaks and I’d be leaning into the engine bay looking to see what the problem was, then a particular colleague known for antics would come over and say “have much luck?” Me, trying to concentrate saying “nah mate, nothing yet”, he’d then proceed to put his cupped hand in front of my face and say “this might do the trick”, me being completely oblivious looks up and takes a breath saying “what’s that” only to almost chunder from being cupcaked by short middle aged fat dude that only ever ate servo food and iced coffees. Being young and working at a mechanics shop has a steep learning curve.
I would have thrown hands for sure. Honestly the description of the servo food made me almost chunder from vicarious trauma. 😂😂
@@noodles5004I probably wouldn't have advised throwing hands with a mechanic
@@BensSightSoundandAutoagreed. Their hands are so calloused it's like getting punched by a brick
@@BensSightSoundandAuto If they bleed you can beat their ass, don't be a coward
@@jhonthecat5061 you can attempt to, that's about it
We were driving to Vic from Sydney for Christmas so got the family car serviced. They replaced the timing belt and all up cost around $2k.
2 hrs in, lost power so pulled over and the engine was on fire. We put it out using our drinking water, but it was a write-off. The mechanic hadn't secured the new timing belt.🙄
So we're in the middle of nowhere on the M31, it's nearly midnight on Christmas Eve, no car, no phone reception, no drinking water and 2 kids under 5.
Walked along the highway until I got a bar of reception and called roadside assistance. We got a tow truck to tow us back to Sydney (poor bugger) getting home a few hours before sun up on Christmas Day.
It cost thousands to get flights down on Boxing Day, but then we were stuck on my Mum's farm in country Victoria with 2 small kids in 40 degree heat with no car.
The mechanic claimed it wasn't his fault and despite the insurance company assuring us they'd investigate, they didn't. He got away with shafting us.
Merry Christmas!
what do you mean by the timing belt wasn't secured?
@@sgtjonzo Probally untightened.
@@sgtjonzo That was the consensus for everyone who looked at it. Timing belt came loose, rubbed on something and the friction caused the fire.
@@alaricgoldkuhl155 ah gotcha, wasnt sure what secured was referring to
i worked in a diesel repair place for a few years in semi-rural us. happy to say that at least with us we actually did everything right, tried to save customers what we could when we can. one tech spent 6 hours rewiring something only to find out the replacement part was actually in stock. but most mechanics are shady as hell just get a big rig at this point
I'm suprised there wasn't any story's about dildos.
I was servicing a Ford ranger one day and while trying to replace the cabin filter the glove box was filled with condom wrappers and a double ended dildo. One of the biggest miners I've ever seen came to pick up the car.
I had a girl who'd put a big black horse sized cock on her gearshifter. We sent the apprentice to "Loosen the gear shifter" and gave him a pair of rubber gloves.
He walked off so confused but came back telling us to get fucked
Can't wait for the eventual venting from Hospitality workers confessing their sins it'll be amazing
Didn't the channel already have one?
@@miglek9613 might have missed it lol...shit
Games Workshop workers confess their sins.
Not a single one of them has read the lore/ care about the eldar
Neckbeardia have stories about this stuff all the time. Might wanna give them a watch.
"Without trucks Australia stops."
Ditto with telecommunications as the Optus outage demonstrated the other day.
uber eats driver here, one night in bunbury i picked up from south bunbury maccas at 10pm, i picked up an order and drove to a suburb called Withers which is where all the statehousing is and isnt really somewhere you wanna be at 10pm. upon arrival there was no lights, it was a dead end street and the house was a chop shop with cars everywhere, was questioning whether the 8 dollars was worth it. when i grabbed the food from my esky i realised that i hadnt emptied the ice from it so the entire bag was submerged in water. holding the bottom of the bag i wandered into the pitch black yard where 2 Rottweilers approached me growling. terrified i dropped the soggy bag of food in front of the dogs and backed away. got an upvote lol
Getting even that small amount of warhammer in a Jordies video again gave me hope
I feel like this one is gonna be a real lesson to us customers who know nothing about cars
Whoever put in the F-Zero X start up sound just triggered a core memory and are the fucking GOAT
Timestamp?
@@reanukeevesau0:51
Im sure the are plenty of sailors who are willing to share stories. One of my first experiences with yacht racing was of a conversation with a fellow sailor about how one race they kidnapped a stripper on the way back to Newcastle from the sunshine coast
Did some work experience at Scania. One of the apprentices forgot to empty one of the oil catches, I went to use it in which it promptly overfill, tried to plug the hole. Ended up slipping and landing on flat on my back, was completely covered like a black oil bukkake.
Great times
How did you clean yourself off? I've never spilled oil on myself, but I've seen videos like that, and i always wondered how you would do it.
Alot of workshops have showers on site with heavy duty grime soap, its like a gritty thick soap that gets everything off@@benzlover55
FYI, in the late eighties, the trucks did stop and the governance Bent over immediately. My family were part of that and I was in Melbourne when it happened.
This is like an Aussie book end to "Just Rolled In"
I've been a mechanic and I have to say these stories are hilarious and definitely true
Aircraft mechanics just do aerospeak, lovely jargon with very plastic words. My latest most favorite one is the "Rapid Unplanned Disassembly"
We need a childcare workers confess sins.... Where I work there's a lot of kids that come through, so we have an indoor play area. It happens to have a climbing frame thing that lots of parents tend to sit under... It is not an uncommon occurrence for kids to pee while on the climbing frame, and it's not entirely unheard of for that pee to end up on someone's head... Anyway, staff are told not to stand under it when we get our training, however, no such warning is given to parents when they enter.
I was a mechanic for a tree lopping company, the tree workers are literally running off drugs during storm season. Kinda like the trucking industry back when log books werent required
8:00 best part is that the typical terminology for this is "bird strike"
FINALLY! As a mechanic I've been waiting for this one. Thank you for the laughs
Fucken Glenn Ridge. Googled, he does the odd ad for insurance
Worst taxi experience I had was getting a ride back from Sydney Airport after I flew back from Thailand, it's been a while but I think it was that silver cab thingo. Here's me, jet lagged af and half asleep when I get fing launched forward and slammed into the seat infront of me. This indian guy (anyone who has been in an Australian taxi knows what I mean) had either had too much to drink or was as tired as had hit a car and then decided to make a run for it. Got pulled over by the cops not long after. Coppers ripped the driver a new one but just let me chill in the car while I waited for a new taxi. At least I got a free taxi ride out of it
Imma use that "a little more choke, and it would have started" line
As a mechanic this is just the daily routine 😂😂😂
yet only scraping the surface...
Im going to be doing an auto-collision course at my tech college next fall then next year auto-tech so I can be certified n shit. I can’t say any of this is out of the realm of what Im expecting for me😂
Wish me luck brother
you have to do Chefs/Bakers next
I mean with the whole dieselpunk aesthetic 40K has The Mechanicus would probably know how to tinker with an engine block.
Hairdressers/beauty industry workers confess video would be wild. My wife is a beauty therapist and the stories she tells are crazy.
Yes please! As an esthetician we see some shit fs
There's probably stories about 1) women going there with a black eye 2) karens who complain about everything 3) people who run and get a taxi to avoid paying
I second this, hairdresser/beauty therapists would be crazy
Babe wake up, new Friendlyjordies “Confess Your Sins” video just dropped
Jesus that cat story is fucking wild, so much going on there that needs serious help haha
Iv seen an exhaust pipe made out of coke cans tied together with hose clamps.
Iv seen a truck with both chassis rails severed and all the body mounts fully decomposed. In my opinion opening all 4 doors at once would cause the structure to collapse.
Vibrating seat pads 😏 urine bottles disabling the airbag sensors.
Iv seen a game hen penetrate a heat exchanger.
A boy lowered his own car and proceeded to get two new engine sumps in two weeks before an offroading misadventure tore into half his floor.
last time i was this early i couldnt finish my
He couldn't finish :(
Mate it happened again what were you going to
Sandwich? That's alright. You can have some of mine. 🥪
Some people can extrapolate from incomplete information. Others
that reminds me when i was early and then this dude
Damn it, I put in a submission, but I also had someone who didn’t pump their brakes after a brake job in the bay across the alley from mine put it into reverse and accidentally back all the way into my coworker’s multi hundred pound toolbox pushing it into the wall behind and buckling it.
Love having these fun stories mixed with Jordan's humor
Same.
Flashback to the pokies video where he read about somebody dying at a machine only for their earnings to be swiped while they were being attended to and Jordan immediately starts laughing maniacally
I love watching videos on the internet
I like these videos more than his political ones.
I got an ad for Frank’s Red Hot featuring some chicken wings. Add another point to the Charlie’s Chargrill Chicken Counter!
We need a full length warhammer 40k video FRIENDLYJORDIES
regarding the first story, I wasn't suprised to see someone who just got 'the good stuff' as I'll refer to it, out of the customer's bag, as I'm friends with someone doing an apprenticeship who was an addict. I'd sometimes share a couple of joints with them when we hung out but I know for a fact my friend's dealer is one of his co-workers
“Yeah, we know you love your car, mate. We just can’t find it.” 🤣
My girlfriends dad (Gezza) was a taxi driver, he once picked a guy up from a pub in Werribee (essentially a suburb of both Melbourne and Geelong - so purgatory) and the guy was bragging about what he had achieved during the night. Gezza, being curious asked what he had done and he was uncontrollably laughing while showing Gezza his Snapchat story where he had filmed himself busting 8 pint glasses in the toilet bowl of said pub.
Also bonus story, my friend and I caught a cab once just to bully him. We got in and prepaid and had our mate tailgate the cab while we chanted “taxi driver takes it up the ass, do da, do da, taxi driver takes it up the ass all the do da day” while snap chatting the driver with the flash on until the prepaid fare expired and he kicked us out. We were 20, I do not endorse my behaviour even if I still find it hilarious
I had 5 drunken yahoos in my cab and one of them dropped a horrendous fart, I stopped the cab and got out, they were all asking me to get back in, but I declined, they said At least turn the meter off, and I said NO WAY , your'e paying for that, to which they all laughed and told me what a great guy I was AND gave me a sizeable bag of ganga upon exiting...ahhh the stories I could tell
Man you made the taxi drivers night! Dickhead.
Customer states: "Tire won't hold air"
*The car is literally running on the rim* XD
As someone who has worked in a garage most problems are solved by just hitting it and we hardly do any thinking if you don’t know a layout just google it or read the manual
Speak for yourself, some of us actually put the hammer down sometimes.
@@BensSightSoundandAuto well yeah we still had to use tools the car didn’t just fix itself
@@redwiltshire1816 Hit the car with the tools. Got it.
@@ASpaceOstrich make sure it’s a rubber mallet or you’ll have some expensive dents lol
@@redwiltshire1816 Just hit the dent from the other side. Problem sorted.
I heard n64 F-Zero X music on 0:52.
Suggestion for a future video: "Encounters with religious preachers" (those who hand out pamphlets and/or talk over a loud speaker in public places)
You should do a part 2 to the medical confess your sins lol. Those responses were amazing
Would love an episode on delivery driver horror stories
I second this idea. It would be hilarious.
Used devcon to "fix" the crankshaft keyway that was extremely munted. Chucked the balancer back on and sold the car a few months later. 👌
holy fuck mate hahahaha
Do a video on tabletop and boargame gaming stores! Please! Used to go to one where it turned out after the place eventually shut down that the guy running it was a perpetual alchoholic that got divorced and refused to pay employees instead just cycling on any person gullible enough he could find, also tried suing anybody who slighted him for attempted millions.
All that while running a weed farm from the room nextdoor which was easily visible from the room where everyone played warhammer. I knew a lot of the regulars had autisn too so it was kinda like growing weed on hard mode next to a room full of police alarms. Gues he just liked risk.
Im sure thered be plenty of stories from gaming stores which everyone naturally looks at as innocent fun, i certainly know ive experienced a few 😂
I'll tell you about my cousins attempt of being an Uber driver. He was just starting college and wanted to get some extra money to spend and thought uber would be great. His first customers was a couple of brothers who wanted a ride to Alice Springs; my cousin has never been to Alice Springs and assumed it was some kind of nice town or something, either way it was a few hours drive and he was going to make a mint from it. The brothers messed & heckled him the entire ride over... but hey money is money. When they arrived they pulled my cousin out of the car, stole his shoes, phone and the car and drove away. He walked barefoot about two hours until someone took pity on him and called him a taxi. They eventually found his car tossed down a hill and burned out by a fire.
Dont the people on the app need to identify themselves?
11:10
Why is this just every Coburg/Bankstown mechanic to a T
It was either gonna be a M5 or an AMG
Aircraft mechanic terms are great, my favourites are "well, thats slightly suboptimal" when reacting to something that is completely disastrous, and "its fucked" used as a completely technical term of course.. 😂😂😂 there is no miscommunication when you use straightforward terms 😝
"So take a dip into the mystery bag, take a big ol sniff off the mystery rack. Could be coke, could be ket, could be hezza and it could be death"
Thanks for the New Zealand Nats joke, top notch 👍
I was the only story that wasn’t read all the way through, this has angered the machine spirits of my handheld cogitater.
We just need apprenticeship stories now
United States citizen here. I’m currently in school to be an Aircraft Mechanic and I can confirm that you have to document EVERYTHING. And the classifications are crazy.
Ok but why? It's just a bird, init?
our local travis bickle in south Victoria goes my the name *** dial, and his personal card reads *** dial, drive in style. he gave me a lift home from the pub one night and he was awfully happy (usually he was always in a foul mood) and I asked why he was so happy, he goes its my birthday and the boss got me this for a present, he then pulled out from his driver side door a half drunk bottle of jim beam with the blue label, i guess its the fancy one or something and even forgot to charge me for the lift...absolute legend !
6:18 thank you for mentioning us, West Islander
3:38 now a subscriber for life, if have more Warhammer memes.
Cocaines a hell of a drug Jordie ❤
Love the F-(u)-Zero solo in there too!
you meet a lot of interesting people in trades, you learn a lot about people with the shit you find in there cars
People forget their secrets they left in the boot
Mostly as an uber driver I get paid minimum wage to deliver overpriced maccas to poor people that don't know better.
Dude mechanics have some of the best customer service stories i feel like. Maybe in part due to lack of knowledge on the customers behalf
If you come to a shop with no money for a tyre, and your tyre is obliterated, they can just give you one of their junk tyres that they took off of another customer`s car when they replaced them, if they have any in the size that your wheels can fit(most wheels can fit 3 sizes in width, the nominal and 1-/+)... It`s better than to just toss them away, especially as some people just replace tyres like stupid, wasting good rubber, whereas others can barely afford a double set every 4 years and that is talking universals, not even winter/summer sets... But it has to be a private shop and not a brand dealership/repair shop... That is - if the shop changes tyres as a part of their services, if not - no tyres for you... But i don`t think that any mech would tell you no, maybe they will charge you some for the tyre and whatever for the service of changing a tyre and balancing, but 20 bucks for rubber is better and will likely be less offsetting to the car what with relatively comparable wear levels to your current tyres, than a new one would be - requiring you to get 2 just to balance out the axle pair...
-edit
Jesse fucking Pinkman, this reminds me of the times when i apprenticed as a mechatronics tech... Had some asshat pull in with a car, some 90`s piece, badly taken care of, full of junk everywhere(not stuff, actual garbage like tissues, old food...) - the inside stank so fucking rotten that it made you want to set the fucking thing on fire, shit stank like vomit inside...
I have one from my old workshop as a 1st year a dude comes in from a big trip in a commodore wagon and it needed rear brakes badly as the calipers were shot and there was no brake pads left after the job was complete the customer comes in to pay and say thank you as we were talking we were wondering how the trip was he turned around and said it was good but going back next weekend story short he wasn’t exploring he was hunting mick Taylor down I told him you mean Ivan and he was like don’t be stupid it’s mick then said anyway cheers of to get him safe to say never seen him again 🤦♂️
They don't have the mechanics fill the tires. They have the tire fitters do it
I was in an Uber heading home from a night class and the woman driving says to me “It’s been a year since I last drove, and I don’t know the area. Can you tell me where to go?”. I did not know where to go, because this was on some random freeway far from my place. I was very spooked the rest of the trip and just prayed we wouldn’t crash
YESSS, I've been waiting for this for SOOO long
Well that was no 'Just rolled in'. I have many a story ajacent to the "Air Con stinks!!" tale, How do you tell someone, hey just switch from recycle from time to time and you won't get concentrated BO blasted in your face.
Thank you for the video friendly gordies, can’t get any better
Called my buddy who's an airplane mechanic a helicopter nurse, it really irritated him hahahhaha good on ya.
So, good ideas for a "Confess their SINS" video, food delivery drivers. I've been offered weed as a tip before (I took the tip). 90%+ of delivery drivers are stoners I guarantee it, plus you deliver to some wild people sometimes.
ive seen 3 punch ons in the street in my about 6 weeks of working as a domino's driver
Warhammer has been mentioned. Jordan must make another video about it.
*You know what must be done.*
I used to be an Uber driver. The funniest one for me was when I picked up a British woman from Manly. It was the night after the BREXIT vote. She was a bit tipsy and talking about it non stop. Mid sentence, she starts spewing violently all over her shirt. None hit the car inside surprisingly. She then started balling her eyes out. She was sorry and said it was because she couldn’t handle the BREXIT vote. I drop her off and she gives me a $100 tip for being so understanding. There was also the white powder fuelled trip, but that is another story………..
man that f-zero X intro music caught me off guard what an awesome addition
I can’t wait to hear Bruce Lehrmann’s confession
I was literally playing F-Zero X on my N64 and then came and watched this video to hear the intro song in your video, amazing
I work in a car bodyshop and i remember we had some guy tell us he has a small scratch on his door. It was creased in and the crash bar inside was fucked. Tell him it needs a new door and he was surprised.
I dont think the reality of car damage hit him as hard as whatever hit the door
0:51 F-Zero X title music is an instant like on this video
the guy who got pantsed is the same guy who left the shit filled pants in that bathroom
oh god hes found mechanic youtube now
The smelly air-conditioner story reminds me of the "Seinfeld" episode where a valet stinks up Jerry's car with B. O.
I love how "custie" sounds like a baby, but every other Aussie slang doesnt
I had to get a car passed a wof inspection one time (like a pink slip)
I ended up siliconeing a crack in the window, rubbing boot polish into all the surface cracked rubbers and running a jumper wire from the oil pressure light to the ABS light
It passed, and thankfully said car has been scrapped now 👀
bro that shirt is the deffinition of truckers on our freeways
Been waiting for this one
You need to cop some the cold ones boys trucker shirts.
That chick asking for air for air in her tire shouldn't be judged so harshly.
She already tried using the air inside her head.
Bus/Coach mechanic here, The company I work for does not like the word fire, They refer to it as a "Thermal Incident".
Im pretty sure me and my family were going to be killed by a taxi driver once. It was in a poorer country with little regulation around it. I was a lil kid, no memory of it. I think my father was backseat driving and the guy just snapped, I guess he had other stuff going on. Starts driving into the wilderness at a really high speed. Apparently were out in the middle of nowhere on gravel roads going through fields when my father convinces him to bring us back. Mostly by trying to calm him down and apologizing.
Theres to many of those stories when I was too little to remember them. Some parents just role the dice, I got lucky.