CLEANERS or anyone with a similar job. Post your horror stories here and we'll cover them in a future video. Keep 'em short and sweet to maximise the chances of us including them. Also get your tickets to my show. I'm in PERTH/ FREMANTLE very soon: www.friendlyjordies.com/live-show
Used to work housekeeping at a hospital, one evening I got called to the ICU. Patient had expired and bled out, room looked like someone had a paintball fight in it and the bed was a giant red sponge. Patient was positive for a lot of nasty things like HIV, C. Diff, and MRSA so I had to wear an actual hazmat suit to clean it. A nurse helping me out asked if I wanted any "strawberry jam" when I showed up. Gotta love her ability to joke in the wake of a bloodbath.
Worked a summer as a cleaner at my HS in year 11. It was my fourth cleaning shift and my job was clearing and cleaning out lockers. Second locker I opened was a guy I vaguely knew in my year level. What I saw was an ecosystem. Roaches, ants, flies, maggots, mould, fungi, you name it. It was a fucking biohazard. My boss and I decided to leave it and call in pest control. I quit that afternoon and never looked at old mate the same ever again. Years later, I still remember it so clearly. Full disclosure, I spent 4 years doing a deep clean of the KFC I worked at every few months, so I've got some horror stories there if you ever decide to do KFC workers 2. Edit: All boys schools are fucking disgusting
Cleaned at Brown Alley in Melbourne's CBD (nightclub on Fridays and Saturdays). The women's toilets are genuinely the most vile thing I have ever had to encounter. I've seen sanitary pads loaded with human excrement and just left on top of the toilet stall dividers like some kind of scavenger hunt prize, I took 3 weeks leave after that because I could not bring myself to return to the venue.
Ill keep it short. When I was younger, about 16-17, I was hired by a wealthier family to clean their house once every week. Typically, the family goes out while I clean their house but one day, im going through cleaning their house when I go into the sons bedroom and he is in there wanking it out. I say "my bad man continue" then I close the door and move on to the next room. I continued to be their cleaner for the rest of highschool.
I used to do ISP support and the amount of times I got a customer to reboot their router, not realising they were on a VOIP (phone over the internet) connection until the call dropped....
All I learned from internet pom is that you don't need an X-ray machine to make cross section stuff in Brazil. Crazy how fast the advancements in science are going, for the sake of all our futures. Now they have camera for that developed in Northwestern University. Really makes what we have now look medieval in comparison.
The number of times a phone call goes from "customer yelling" to "oh, yeah, that was the problem" without any apology is my main grievance with my job. If people could call before they're frothing at the mouth, I'd be much happier.
I get it, when you've been trying to figure something out and it seems like nothing you're doing is working it sucks. Nobody *wants* to ask for help. Still wish people would stop screaming at me though
@@RedshirtAfficionado I make it a point to ignore anyone who asks me in rash manner for my IT skills, if I get asked nicely or by passing comment, I'll jump to it and get the problem sorted but I refuse to fix anything for an irate person, treat me with the dignity and respect you think you deserve and maybe i'll share my precious skills with you.
I worked for an internal IT Support and i had one call were the caller sounded stressed but not rude. About 10 minutes after the call i get an e-Mail from the caller apologizing for the rude behavior.
Youd be frothing at the mouth to after spending half an hour scouring the most obscure sections of the internet,finding someone who had your exact problem and the one comment is “Oh yea i got that issue to”
A few years back my rundown NSW public highschool got a new IT guy, he was quiet, played guitar, hid in his little hidey hole server room all day and fixed all the IT problems. Whenever we needed a new software like a school provided adobe product or so fourth, we had to put a request in and as a smaller school in NSW, it took months to years for the newer stuff as the school board didn't really care about our school. Now this IT guy has years of dealing with the problems for the schools, once he got hired we got our software in under a day, one time I caught him attempting to simply put it "breach" the network (as it is shared across all of NSW) and copied products/license keys, then went around putting them on all the machines in the school as if he didn't just do something that's not allowed, or he'd simply just get a pirated version. He wouldn't do it for games, but if we asked for the latest music software/adobe/game development/etc softwares he would get it for us in under a day. Great guy.
Let me share with you all a small IT secret.... The reason we know how to solve everything, is because we've either made all the mistakes we know how to fix, or have watched someone else make them. Every IT guy has forgot to plug in a keyboard or mouse, not cleared their browser history, or stupidly downloaded a virus. The difference between someone who knows about computers and someone who doesn't, is that we have had to fix all of the mistakes we've made, or our friends/family have made, while everyone else asks one of us to fix it for them.
Had one to add to this: An ex co-worker of mine was so inept with technology that I witnessed him attempt to print a youtube video over the span of an hour before giving up, storing 10 or so copies of the attempt in his drawer and then leaving to go home early.
Gotta admit, Richard Ayoade's sync-up is both scarily good and is just jarring when I just could never fathom a British IT guy working in some deadend job in the U.S.
America made quite a few pretty shoddy remakes of British comedy shows. I know they tried to remake Coupling, which failed horrendously. The only one that really worked at all was The Office, which by most accounts I've heard might actually be better than the original. But I haven't seen either so I wouldn't know.
As someone who had a tracheostomy (although it healed, the scar will never go away) I legitimately felt pure despair and disgust when hearing about tracheostomy porn.
I did 6 months working at a Uni cleaning dorms, saw a fair bit but this was the worst. Rooms big enough for a bed, desk and a "wet pod" - an enclosed unit with a shower, toilet and sink. One room was always occupied when we did the bi weekly sweep through the blocks, a polite but firm "no thank you ma'am I am quite tidy" was all that we ever got, until we came in to do the deep clean after the semester. There was one side of the bed where the white cotton sheet had turned to brown vinyl and was obviously the part where this guy slept, the rest of the bed was covered in a thick matting of pubes, chips, dead flies and peas. The desk, wall, chair and radiator were all *covered* in jizz and food stains, the bin was full of smokers cough spit up and had black nasty trails of it all over the wall behind it and glueing it to the floor around it. The window had been covered with pizza boxes that still had bits of food stuck to them. There were several bottles of urine hidden in places along with tissues and crisp packets stuffed with rotting banana peels. There were dead flies *everywhere*. We thought this was bad... then we opened the pod door to discover it was not being used as a shower or toilet in the traditional sense, it was being used to store BAGS OF POO. The toilet and shower themselves looked virtually unused, but the floor was covered in several inches of brown "water" almost up to the door sil. We called our boss, "It can;t be that bad just clean it" she said, "no fuckin way" we said. She comes over to the block, storms in straight past us, STEPS INTO THE POD in a show of hubris and immediately regrets it as the poo water soaks through her plimsoles.
@@deedr1234 Not entirely sure, I would reckon at least that for the clean alone probably, and more to replace furniture and decor. It's £20-25k a semester at this place for International students before rental.
"We forget you're there" is spot on. I was one of the IT people for a certain federal government agency that had a lot of lawyers in it. (I lasted six months.) At the office Christmas party, I sat next to two lawyers who were talking to each other, every second word in Latin, and I said to the person next to me, not in a quiet voice: "I could say anything about these two and they wouldn't hear me." They didn't hear me.
Yep, we are (were, I'm retired) invisible. The stuff I heard in private meeting because I was in the office fixing a machine that was _urgently_ needed to make a FaceBook comment.
In a sense IT are the kuroko, in kabuki theater , people dressed in black to prepare the scenery and props, they were not to be perceived. And being honest i do prefer that way.
If you had said "I have seen your browser histories" or, "did you know there is a virus that automatically turns the laptop camera on and records you when you visit a porn site", they would have been all ears.
It would be a bit of a boring video because there isn't much there to confess, these days it is a very boring job where you get paid garbage and only work for 3 days a week half the day because the store is closed the rest of the time, as GW got sick of parents using their store as a free day care. So basically parents show up with a kid, do a intro game, buy a starter box and leave and occasionally a regular will show up and buy some paints or a booster and that is it. The days of GW having things happen or wild stories about the staff or parties on the weekends etc is something that was a thing 20 years ago back when they still had in store campaign events, let people play games there, had people there all day and staffed about 3 to 4 people at the store and were open 6 days a week. Also everyone knows about all the wild stories that did happen in the 90s to mid 00s, if he asked people will just repeat the same stories everyone else already knows about that got posted on Reddit a decade ago and have been regurgitated by people pretending to be GW employees or ex-employees repeating the same stories from Reddit from 10 years ago. Modern GW is about as eventful as any other Retail chain like EB games or Big W with the same usual crowd, the most eventful thing that can happen in an occasional Karen every 3 months.
I love how Jordies does like three videos of him, badly, painting figurines and giving them public figures names and ppl still want more of it three years later. That's staying power :):):)😂
As a 10+ year IT professional who missed the original question, I love this. It's way too relatable. edit, my story: 2 years ago part of my job was to audit my clients' sign-in logs, and report out-of-country ones to management for the possibility of false logins. So I was auditing a company and reported a few dozen logins from the Caribbean on two employees. The owner responds, "Are you 100% sure these are accurate." And for sure sometimes you can't be, but in this case, some IPs are publicly registered to a local-only hotel, so I could verify it. Turns out it was the owner's husband who claimed to be on the other side of the world for a business trip,. I also reported another employee being at that location at the same time... long story short the owner's husband was banging one of the sales employees...So I directly reported to this lady that her husband was cheating on her in the Caribbean unintentionally. (professionally she went by her maiden name, so I didn't correlate the last names)
As an older IT guy, my general advice when one of my clients has a "friend" looking up inappropriate for children content, is to simply install a second browser and suggest their "friend" use that one and not to leave a shortcut to it on the desktop/task bar. Seems kinda tricky, but somehow they are always confident that they can convince their "friend" to use it. But as a rule I wont even look at their suspicious folders any more, I've just seen too many traumatising things I wish I could un-see, that I just don't want to risk adding more to the collection.
I've stumbled upon things I wish I had an arrest warrant for, and Im not even an IT person. That's like, just random computers that were left on. Cant imagine what you ppl see on a daily basis.
Are you guys not allowed to take it to the police? I'm not trying to sound rude, you'd hope you'd be able to if you unintentionally find incriminating stuff on it.
@@williamsmitherson2170 Yes & I have done but after seeing so much shit you really do get to a point where you don't want to know because 99.9% of what you'll see isn't illegal its just fucked up . I will say you do get good at feeling people out and for sure any one who ask you not to look or just wants something wiped rases a red flag but with the right technique I don't see any thumbnails recovering data etc so unless someone is waving it my face or I open a device up and its on something like cp " has happened" then I'm not going to go looking and most other tech are the same we don't have time nor want to go through anyones shit.
Bush Guides always have the widest stories. They normally start with the guys just having a few drinks and end with calling for a helicopter ambulance.
Worked as a hospital cleaner, usually the emergency department. I've just finished the whole floor, everything looking good enough to eat off, when I get a frantic message: A visitor got bored waiting for her partner to get conscious again, so decided to inject something highly illegal. She didn't get it right, opened up an artery, and started screaming about being HIV positive while turning the waiting room into a horror scene. I didn't get to go home on time.
I was the IT manager for an Australian tour company in the mid 2000’s. I had a visiting state sales manager come into my office to complain that his son had done something to his company laptop and demanded I fix it before lunch as he had a flight back to Western Australia just after lunch. He had been at head office, my location, for the last two days for meetings but left it to the last minute to drop it to me. It was an easy fix and updated the company files on it and waited. He dived back into my office in a fluster as he had gone to early lunch with the director and was running late for his flight (a 4 hr flight). He wouldn’t wait for me to explain the fix, grabbed the laptop and shot off to the airport. I had set his laptop volume to its loudest setting and set the startup sound to the voice of a sexy lady saying, “yes oh great one, how may this humble servant assist you?” I got an angry call which I put on speaker in our call centre which was right next to my office. Hilarious.
Crap...I forgot to send mine in. I used to work as a computer technician in 2011. One time this old guy (probably 65-70) brought his PC in as it was packed having issues. Turns out he had a ton of downloaded Pawrn in his photo's folder. This included a lot of animals in these photos. The sad part was, all of it was amongst photos of his family and his little grandkids. It was pretty gross. I had to act like I had never seen the folder when returning his PC.
Worked for a cleaning company at a resort in the Mid North Coast during Christmas Holidays when I was 15, was given a off-road golf buggy to get around to the amenities and cabins to clean for the day, got a little excited driving it my second week, took it off one of the off-road back tracks launched it off a ramp and rolled it, tore up my left arm. Buggy was a little damaged but cleaned it up like nothing happened. Later that day, the boss noticed my arm bleeding and asked what happened, came up with an elaborate story about a goanna attacking me while cleaning the amenities block (seemed semi legit, there were a few around). Of course halfway through the one of the most elaborate stories i have ever come up with, the golf buggys roof fell off exposing the well hidden cracked windshield and stuffed side rail... Got fired on the spot.
"Hello. My coffee cup holder isn't working". "You're coffee cup holder isn't working?". "Yes, on my computer". "But your computer doesn't have a coffee cup holder". "Yes it does, and it's not working". "Do you mean the CD drive?". Click. And I though this was going to be about the grand old days of IT. Back in the 70s, 80s and 90s before the internet and all these namby-pamby PCs. When you froze solid in the computer room in winter at 4am because no one had bothered to stop the AC from sucking in 10C air from outside and taking it down to 1C; and pumping it in at full blast. Or when you just managed to stop the fire brigade from chopping their way in through the security door because an engineer had lifted the floor to adjust a cable and set off all the silent under floor smoke alarms. Or when someone threw an apple across the room and managed to hit the emergency power off switch, and you had to spend the next 3 hrs recovering and restarting all the programs that had died in a split second. Or when the powdered ink cartridge on a massive printer backfired and everyone was coated with the stuff and it soaked into your skin .... the good old days of IT.
3 Good stories for you No1: I used to work for Toshiba as a tech, DO NOT BRING YOUR PC TO BIG BUSINESS IF YOU DONT WANT YOUR SHIT GONE THROUGH! The guys i worked with were straight out of highschool and they had portable hard drives dedicated to copying peoples stuff. they used to keep peoples drives and recover deleted stuff to see if there was any sexy photos on them and the minute there was a hot girl book in a job they would fight over who would get the repair. No 2. about 10 years ago there was this guy bring a computer in for repair and said it didnt turn on. i plug it in in front of him and it immediately boots. on the desktop background was a picture of himself in a suggestive pose on the bed while holding his oldfella and winking. he said what do you think? i said your computer is fine and asked him to please leave the store. No 3. I had a customer that said he was gaming and his computer was making this popping sound near the power supply then it died. I open up the case later on to find it full to the brim of cockroaches that then proceeded to scatter around the shop. it was the roaches zapping themselves to death that made the popping. it took me months to get rid of them because they bread like well you know. I also found a dead mouse in someones pc and they got angry at me because i wanted to charge them extra for having to clean out the case and the liquid that the mouse had become. He refused to pay the cleaning charges so i put the mouse back in and told him to come pick it up.
Damnit can't believe I missed this. I worked IT for only six months but in that time I was consistently called out to a local tourism centre to fix and maintain their server. This was 2018 and they were still running Windows Server 2003 off of the original hardware. The server was in the "IT closet" which was a 3ft crawlspace attic up a nearly vertical ladder and placed directly next to the water heater. We had to bring our own keyboards and mice to perform maintenance on this server because they didn't have any serial mice or keyboards on hand. This server was being used to run: 1 email service for 20 employees 5 smart TVs in 3 meeting rooms 2 firewalls for network access 3 guest access computers 10 office computers 2 smart projectors Every time we got called out we gave them a quote to update the server and a quote for monthly maintenance on the current one. The new server would save them thousands in the first year alone. Town council was genuinely pissed whenever we brought it up because the current server "works fine" Had a client once hand me a hard drive that was taken out of a computer. I was working on a different job for the elderly gentleman at the time, but he asked me to back up the drive over onto another one for him and he'd pay extra. Got the drive back to the office and started decorrupting it so I could make a half decent backup. As the process came to an end I noticed a folder on the desktop called "GOLF GIRLS". I obviously opened it because I was curious what that meant and if it was a virus or malware I would delete it. It was a 20gb folder of topless photos of women modeling with golf skirts and clubs on a golf course, clearly not playing the game. I was almost impressed by how many photos of this extremely niche and honestly boring kink there were on this guy's drive. I brought the original and the backup to him and didn't say a word, but I asked my manager that he be the one to handle this guy's calls from then on.
Worked a cash in hand support job while i was studying. just fixing random peoples gaming PCs or laptops. The place i was at, a dolled up, collagen lipped personal trainer rolled up with her pink sony vaio laptop. The entire laptop was encased in Bedazzled sequins or whatever they're called. even covering exhaust and intake fans. On top of the laptop lid, she had printed out a picture of herself on regular A4 paper and framed it in the sequins. long story short, the artpiece that lay infront of me had been overheating to the point where the motherboard had warped it self and the keyboard connector had deteriorated. I wish i could find the picture of this monstrosity.
13:11 That's why when I worked IT I would automatically tell people to scrub off their touchscreens and/or keyboards with a wet wipe or I wasnt touching it. Even when it so just from normal use, it's was still incredible how disgusting people would let stuff they routinely touched get and think nothing of it.
I carried a small squeeze bottle of alcohol based hand cleaner in my laptop bag so I could sterilise them after touching the machines. Some were so disgustingly dirty it was hard to believe the "owners" were teachers.
I was 16 when I started in a computer repair shop and the most common issue at the time was virus infections. The thing is, most virus infections were (and still are) caused by the user going to some dodgy website and trying to get free games/videos or porn (usually the latter). Because of the era of most parents not knowing or caring about computers, it was usually their child or grandchild. More then a dozen or so times in the 6 months I worked there I had to explain to some sweet old lady that insisted only her perfect sweet little grandson uses it that porn doesn't "just get on the computer" and the virus itself doesn't download porn. We also had a guy come in fairly frequently, in his late 60s, with one of those old-school tower PCs that a 6 or so drive bays in them, all with removable hard disk caddies, but with all the drives removed. Every time, and not kidding, EVERY time he came in, it was due to a virus, and his remaining fixed hard drive (with the OS on it) was FULL to the brim with porn videos (this is in the days when ADSL in AU was an unknown technology to 99% of the country, so we figured he was making the videos at this point). About 2 times a month he would come in and buy another few hard drives, in total I think we would have sold him 30 or so 20GB (biggest available at the time) disks. The last time we saw him was when we had his PC for service and the police turned up to arrest him and seize his computer.
At my cousin's IT place, this very sweet-looking but plain girl wearing a crucifix came in. He looked through her stuff out of sheer boredom and found troves of heart-stoppingly graphic hentai. Like, properly nightmarish stuff you'd see in a horror film.
For a possible part two, I once had a girl call in to have a icloud/apple ID separated. She continued to explain that the whole family of 5 used the same apple id, because it's cheaper. Her younger brother had made some pics that showed up in everyone's photo gallery. Long story short the family didn't mind to all separately pay for icloud storage after that incident.
My first IT job was 1997, 25 years ago. I worked for a dial up provider doing tech support. The owner was a middle aged German man who spent his whole day in the server room watching p#rn on multiple screens. The server room having a window where he was visible to office staff. Im fairly sure his whole purpose for starting the business was to host a tonne of adult websites and do that.
@@jamesp1389 Doctor Cox said it best - "If you got rid of all the porn there would only be one website left and it would be called Bring Back the Porn"
I worked for a company where I was running end-of-year financial statements on IBM System 36. It required lots of time to complete, like 2.5 days as I kept having to change 8 inch diskette cassettes that held like ten flexi diskettes as the financial data was being processed and sorted. I had boxes and boxes of the old, multi-part computer paper that statements were printed on. I wasn't being all that careful with the empty boxes lying around and eventually tripped over one and fell on my arse. Pissed, I gathered up a bunch of the empties and tossed them towards a corner where a big canvas trolley on wheels sat. As I tossed them, and before they made their destination, I realised to my horror an emergency stop switch sat above the trolley, after which the boxes hit the stop switch shutting down every system in the computing centre. One of the most sickening feelings I ever experienced.
I worked 2nd swing shift at a veterinary hospital for the cleaning crew from 4pm to 2am for about 3 years, and this is probably my favorite story. On Thanksgiving -yes had to work holidays :( - there was a guy who brought in a Chihuahua that looked like a bloated bowling ball that was so fat it couldn't walk. Turns out it had climbed up onto the table when no one was looking and went after the deep fried turkey. A bit later while I was beginning to clean the nurses area I overheard the 2 nightshift surgeons and a nurse placing bets on how much of the turkey the dog ate compared to it's body weight while one of the nurses was administering the meds to get it to vomit. Not only did this small dog eat over %10 of it's weight in turkey - it swallowed some pieces whole like a damn python. The nurse won the bet. ( I then had to take out the vomit trash since no one else would touch it)
Jizz guy is the type of guy that cracks a smile when a piece of poo hits the toilet water just right and shoots up a little water at the perfect angle, he's also the type of guy that puts his entire mouth around the bubbler nozzle after PE class. Also, do sins from nurses/medical professionals next.
You should ask for confessions from hospitality workers (those who work in hotels/motels). I used to sell product into these places, mainly 5 star joints, and the stories were horrific. Drugs, deaths, and debauchery 🤢
Replies for the cleaners comment is maxed out, but I thought I'd add a reply: Not my stories, but my mum's - shes run a very successful cleaning business for the past 15 years. She told me that in one house they cleaned, the rooms were "so full of dirty nappies that you had to force the doors open to get in". The piles of nappies came to at least knee height in MULTIPLE rooms. Safe to say the poor ladies still had to clean it as they had already been paid in full. Once doing a spring clean of a middle-aged bachelor's house, she told me that this man left a single used condom in every single bin in the house, like bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, everywhere. What was particularly disturbing was that none of the bins were used, they all had clean bin liners except for the SINGULAR used condom in EVERY one. I'm not sure what kind of message he was trying to send about his virility to the cleaning ladies, but I am sure it did not come across as he intended.
In a university in central EU, a guy working for their military's logistics (Master in Mathematics and PhD candidate from an elite university) phones up the IT department, and tells them "I think the internet on my PC is deleted". The IT-department, very amused, checked in on his PC. Hardware was all fine, turns out the internet was actually completely wiped from the computer. There was no way to access it by any means. They had to change the PC because no one was able to figure out how that could have happened.
Those stories are the greatest. When it's not the customer just not getting tech but the circumstance being extraordinary. "the internet being deleted" sounds like exactly one of those although I would have given anything to dig as deep as I could to find any trace of it
I cannot stress how strange the american version of The IT Crowd was with the same Richard Ayoade in it. It must have been profoundly strange for him to have to redo all of the same lines like some unknown version of limbo.
It was just one pilot episode though, so yeah weird, but prolly an easy payday for the guy. Very strange that they used the exact same script too though.
IT story: one time I had a remote worker come back into head office for her 6 monthly review and she demanded a new laptop, declaring "this one's a piece of shit". She's Italian btw, not Italian American, I mean Italian Italian. We state her PC isn't old enough to be due for replacement, against policy etc. The laptop is in very bad condition physically. Cue call from the manager demanding new PC. I tell him to come down to the IT room. I show him the laptop. It had several keys missing, and several of the remaining keys had hot rock burns on them. I showed him where I had shaken the laptop out and enough hash crumbs and weed had fallen out of it to roll up a joint, assuming you were willing to pick all the breadcrumps, hair, pieces of fingernail and god knows what else out as well. I pointed out the laptop was less than a year old. As it was clearly unfit for use, but also she was unfit to use it, I issued her a laptop I'd made in my first week out of the destroyed remnants of 4 other laptops. (I was waiting on a background check and didnt have network access, so I spent a week doing that and fixing every printer in the place. I hate printers. All IT guys hate printers. If you find an IT guy who likes printers he's a member of a weird cult that and probably wants to shoot up a school and should be stopped)
I’ve had quite a bit of experience working for big and small cleaning companies and companies that have cleaners. It does not matter how you judge them most of them are crap. Always trying to pay less, expect you to work quickly but still do a good job, give you crap products to use and then expect you to jump over the moon and back for the companies. First time working for a small country town cleaning business. Who was also lying to the government at the same time and collecting the pension. One of the companies’ rules was that we do not make beds as they are incredibly dangerous. Most of her workers were old including herself, I was the youngest cleaner that she had at the time. We went to this real estate agents house on a hill, super big ceilings, modern mansion style. She had told all the family that was living there to not be home at the time so we could clean the house properly. So, the three of us cleaners brake up into different parts of the house because it is so big. I walk into the late 20-year old’s room and it first I do not see it until I get around the bed. He had left a big puddle of jizz and it was not one, but two shots because of the size of it. He had left two loads of the stuff on his bed out in the open. I called the head cleaner in, and she knew as well as I did what it was. She said “Oh, well I told her. We do not do beds.” She then covered it up with the sheets. Never tell a cleaner that they do not know the difference between body fluids. It is like lying to a nurse or doctor about why an object that is not a butt plug is stuck up your ass. We know. Cleaning rich farmers houses has the messiest people, especially if both wife and husband are heavily involved in their business. Of course, the common person does not know where to look. Go looking in their kitchen open the oven, sandwich press or toaster and if they look inside and outside like a bushfire has gone through, they have been using it repeatedly without cleaning it. If you think Offices are bad for their kitchen appliances, you have not seen anything like a farmer’s home. I did not understand how their appliances had not burnt down the house or refuse to work in the first place. I could take a knife and scoop out enough black gunk to make a sandwich with. One farmers toilet left me questioning the laws of physics after. It was the private bedroom/bathroom of the parents; everything looks normal when I walked in. I lifted the toilet seat and saw the entire inside of the toilet covered in blood like the shining elevator scene. I flushed it thinking that would get it all down sat the toilet up and found the same blood all over that. It was period blood. Do not ask me how I know, I know. I had to physically wipe an entire toilet roll on it then hit it with chemicals, letting it sit then hit it again, scrub it for dear life then come back three times to get it to move and this was fresh stuff, not stale. Yet again do not ask me how I know. I almost felt like it was my womanly duty to inform this lady that she needs to see a doctor because this is too much blood in one sitting, but I do not get paid for that. People do not understand how much a cleaner can find out about you from cleaning your house. I never in my life wanted to know anything about anyone. I am not the friendly talky, talky cleaner. I am the shut up and get it done cleaner. I do not want to know anything about you, but you leave everything out in the open and I mean everything. I have seen a lot of weird shit. If you want more for number two let me know. I have some bigger ones to tell.
As someone in IT, one of the first things I check when I have a problem is "Is everything plugged in? If it is, unplug it, and plug it back in." Works a treat - you always feel stupid, but it's always the best thing to check
I've done IT since the late 90s. Circa 2004 or so, I am working at an engineering firm. One of the older engineers (in his 70s) asks if I can do an after - hours project for him. I say sure. Turns out his son (in his 50s) had died, and left his entire estate to his "best friend". The dad was looking for answers, and brought me the dead son's laptop to look through. The father had (somehow) gotten the Windows password, but was confronted with a ton of password protected ZIP / RAR files (can't remember) which he couldn't access and wanted to know the contents of. It was trivial to get access to the files. Long story short, there were tons of photos and videos of the son and the best friend doing amateur gay fetish porn. What to do? Being gay was NOT acceptable back then - and neither were fetish things. I knew if I said I couldn't access the files he'd just go somewhere else. So I lied to the father. Told him that the son was pirating software and movies, and he needed to be very careful showing the files to people, which was technically illegal. I also found several draft copies of the son's will, which provided some more insight into why the "best friend" was so special, without "outing" him. Ah, IT in the 90S.
My dad was assigned to do community service cleaning at Chermside park, one morning he rocks up and lo and behold a massive human shit on one of the BBQ hot plates, he cleans it the best he could with what he had on at the time and heads back to the car to get better equipment, but the time he had gotten back someone was already cooking on it.
When we first implemented the Internet into our offices, I had to repeatedly tell our office managers and the VP to quit watching 🌽 on company time. Aside from that, it's pretty much "have you tried turning it off and on" or "reinstalling the OS" type of stuff
@@sirapple589 Back then it was photos and very small video files. There were no hubs and most sites were behind pay walls. They certainly weren't savvy enough to use IRC rooms but there really wasn't any software to help you block access to websites. We started out trying to block sites but then just blocked everything and only allowed the weather channel site and yahoo, I think. I thought about quitting when they told me I had to confront this big secretary lady about downloading images onto her machine. She had to be 50 years old and I was 20.
I've remembered a traumatising story from one of my ex colleagues thanks to this... I won't go into full details out of respect. But I'll just say it's not everyday that you get given an iPad to work on after police return company belongings from a deceased employee and it gets worse when you're told to replace the case where you find dried blood underneath the old case that you then get told to clean.
(cleaner horror story), A friend of mine has parents that own an Airbnb. His job is to clean said house after the tenants are done with it. One time, two college age guys came in as tenants for the weekend. They stayed two days, And then left. My friend later described walking into the building, and finding literally every single thing in the bathroom, the bed, and the little living room covered in jizz. His parents are conservative Christians, and the AirBnB was in the back yard of the family's property, not even fourty feet from the family home. My friend decided not to horrify his parents and didn't tell them. He then just cleaned up the mess, and then just went along his way.
Doing Network Support about 14 years ago a client calls up, Office Manager for a solicitors firm and says that none of the computers are working. I check the servers not able to be remotely accessed by me. I am thinking that the server has pooped the bed. That was until the office manager says 'Nothings on, not the server, workstations, not even the lights in the office.'......'Ahhh are you having a blackout maybe?' I asked. She checks with the business the next floor down....no power either. 'Sounds like you are having a black out, you'll have to wait till power comes back' I say 'But isn't that what the UPS (Uninterruptible Power Supply) is for?' she says 'Ahhh no that just gives you time to safely power down the server' ......Boy did I cop an earful after I audibly face desked. I also on occasion would have clients ask me what caused their particular IT issues and I replied they were either ID 10 T or PEBKAC (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair) Errors. The number of times office clients would call up in the morning saying their work stations would not power on, after the cleaners had been in the night before and knocked the power cable either out totally or just enough to stop things working. (facepalm)
started working as a security guard at the start of the year and already have heaps of cooked stories, seccys would have some wild confessions especially if they're not working anymore lol
One time during holidays the school I worked at had a crew doing overnight asbestosis removal. I came in the following morning to start the vacation clean. Found the toilet we had left unlocked for the crew totally destroyed with shit, all over the floor. What was worse...there were worm parasite looking things wriggling around inside the toilet bowl. Whoever did this also got into my cleaning store and had attempted to mop the floor and wipe the sink with my equipment. It was also covered in shit, had to throw most of my supplies in the skip.
Chances are when the guy said Yugoslav he was not referring to Yugoslavia, but to his ethnicity (Yugoslavs being a specific Slavic group) this is actually the ethnicity Yugoslavia was named after (Yugoslav-ia). (Also related fact: Yugoslavia was originally a kingdom led by the former king of Serbia, it was formed shortly after WW1).
I want to know what people who’ve worked as Disney mascots or other costumes mascots have seen and heard underneath those masks of theirs. I have to imagine they’ve seen all sorts of weird stuff and been told even stranger things.
Please, cover my name if you use this. I volunteered to work in a psych ward for children and adolescents, my job was mostly cleaning up after bulimic teens had a go in the communal bathrooms (there were 2 of those bathrooms in a ward for 150 kids). One day I asked a nurse why the hell do these teenagers have to use communal bathrooms if they had toilets in their own rooms (they were locked). She replied that staff had too little trust in the patients after the 'threesome incident' occured. I still feel bad for the actual kids though
The stories people use to cover up their adult adventures on their devices never gets old. Once when working on a virus ridden computer, I called the bloke to let him know I'd have to factory reset his device. He started telling me this long story about how his cat walked across the keyboard and that must have been how all the gay adult content got on there. I'm just sitting there listening to this story while looking at his desktop background covered in about a dozen men naked wrestling waiting for him to stop so I can give him some tips about how his cat can avoid viruses when looking at adult websites in future.
Worked at the movie cinema. Cleaned after the film sessions. Many a warm full cup last behind (people clearly didn't want to leave the cinema to visit the bathroom). Even found a turd on the stairs walking up once.
I used to do PC repair. Once had a guy bring in a computer that was so crusty it was like someone had spilled icing on it. He opens it up at the counter and immediately there’s a set of tits on the screen. Needless to say we told him to leave and I spent the next half hour washing my hands.
@@ACDZ123 That seems way too common me. The closest work I ever did was administrating a 3000 employee company's Citrix thin clients. Thus you had to handle alot of people's daily work horse device. I am now a little OCD with my personal devices, I clean them basically once a month or more.
I heard from a mate when I was still a pharmacist about a patient who presented to hospital with STI infections in a stoma (like the neckhole but when the gut doesnt and you have to shit in a bag) I feel for them having to sit them down and explain "you can't fuck that, and if you do fuck it; use a condom for fuck sake"
This is similar I knew a lady that worked at a film processing place and she said they called the cops all the time because peds would actually try to have cp developed it was scary how much she said it happened
1:09 As someone who has worked a (very) little bit in IT support, let me tell you the "have you tried turning it off and on again" is probably the most important to check. I've had 4 calls, 2 of which were resolved using that exact method.
Used to clean an accounting firm's office that was in an OLD police station. They didn't follow any data protection laws and the building was falling appart. I would let myself in after hours, there by myself and there would be confidential papers laid about the place and I was the one shredding everything. I ain't signed shit to not disclose anything. Saw a local company had 1/4mil just in cash. Cleaning the busted building pissed me off so much (the hoover would pull up the carpet and i kept tripping on the uneven floor) that I punch the wall and my fist went right through. Said I tripped and got away with it. Apparently that hole was still there 5 years later.
Mrs Richards: "I paid for a room with a view !" Basil: (pointing to the lovely view) "That is Torquay, Madam ." Mrs Richards: "It's not good enough!" Basil: "May I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window ? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? the Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically across the plains?..." Mrs Richards: "Don't be silly! I expect to be able to see the sea!" Basil: "You can see the sea, it's over there between the land and the sky." Mrs Richards: "I'm not satisfied. But I shall stay. But I expect a reduction." Basil: "Why?! Because Krakatoa's not erupting at the moment ?"
I use to work as a housekeeper for a large hotel/gaming establishment in Melbourne. A guest staying on one of the floors I was working had their service light on and I entered the room to begin cleaning it, walked into the bathroom first to start there and was overwhelmed at the sight of about 30 dildos suction cupped to the glass shower screen. The guest was present in the room when I went in I panicked and was fairly new to the job about 3 weeks in. so I went and got my supervisor as I didn’t know what to do. She came in put her rubber gloves on and began un suctioning the dildos from the shower screen, then proceeded to say “you’ll get use to seeing stuff like this, hey this showers not gonna clean itself” - I lasted 12 months in this job.
I'm surprised this episode didn't have the classic, all encompassing tale as old as time in the IT sector; which is that your work IT admin does indeed see everything, and pretends they don't to not make you feel awkward about it.
The phone call disconnect one was a pretty common occurrence when I worked on the call centre of a (relatively small, and unfortunately long dead) ISP during the earlier ADSL2 days. Customers would call up complaining about slow internet speeds, so as part of the troubleshooting we would ask them to perform an isolation test. Basically, go around to every device connected to the phone line and unplug them, leaving the ADSL2 modem still connected, and see if that improves things. Then, one by one reconnect the phones and keep checking. Naturally, customers were always too eager and would begin right on the call and disconnect their phone. We would usually get them calling back a couple of minutes later, all angry and confused.
12:25 I was 18 when an old lady handed me her crusty iPad and telling me that her husband exclusively watches legal teens... I've never handled another user's device without gloves since.
Almost exactly the same script and they still cast Richard Ayoade as Moss, so it was really weird to see him run onto the set behaving exactly the same way. Imagine if they had a British version of Big Bang Theory but Sheldon was still American.
@@onceonly1111I saw a pilot called "Are You Being Served In Australia" It was an Australian version of "Are You Being Served" the UK comedy. The funny thing with the Australian version was, it had a completely new Australian cast playing the same roles, but John Inman was in it playing Mr Humphries, like he dud in the UK one. So that is the same thing. The Aussie version was a telemovie which didn't get past pilot stage.
Really lifts my spirits that Jordan points out it's the creative people who always ask questions. That's what puts them in the better side of dunning kruger, they can visualize every possible and impossible way things may go wrong, and that's how they may learn to become brain surgeons. And I don't even want more brain surgeons, I want slighlty less people being the literal opposite of one. People who call people DUMB for not having the same situational indoctrination as them hammered in, and be outright smug about having that knowledge.
See, this is fine, but when your job is to answer the same set of questions with varyingly shitty tone, sometimes someone’ll innocently ask the question and get caught on the end of a shit week, and don’t deserve it.
Yes, people with specific knowledge acting smug when others don't have it is shitty. But what's more annoying is people who flat out refuse to learn anything about anything and act like you need to be some kind of IT wizard to possibly understand how a TV remote works or how to connect the one cable to the one plug it can fit into. And they'll throw a tantrum for hours instead of just googling the problem like their poor younger relative is going to have to do for them anyway. It's especially bad when these people have been relying on these devices for work every single day for decades and still act like they've never seen them before and get all flustered when they're expected to figure out if it's actually turned on or not.
When I was in high-school I was in a Cisco Networking class, there were 8 of us our final project was setting up a simulated network of about 3k machines. We got it up and running in 2-3 days, ironed out any bugs the last day, the day to show it works comes around and everything was broken. Damn near no nodes could communicate, we are rushing around trying to look through every list and ip address we could about ten minutes before the end of the class our teacher just started laughing her ass off. Me and another of the kids both stopped looked at each other and said "God damn it". It wasn't just as simple as turning off and on, but a cat-5 cable was plugged in to two ports of the same router which just caused an infinite loop basically. We were so pissed but I have never mocked the "Is it plugged in, have you turned it off and on again" since.
Even as someone who only has an average understanding of computers, my biggest takeaway from this video is that Jordies probably fell for an alt+F4 prank in the 2010s.
Had a chat with my friend about his IT job with courts he told me that he gets about 3 hours of down time during the day where he does whatever he wants so i take it that helping some boomer with a printer or pushing the power button on that other IT guys get some watch time done.
It's unfortunate I can't reply to the cleaners one but I'll share the story since I think it's a pretty good one I used to work as an insurance cleaner - fires, flooding, ect. One of our jobs was to inventory items that were around the affected area and check if we can clean them or write them off for compensation for the client. The guy that trained me told me a story about that once where he was on a job, working his way through a house after a small fire in the kitchen and one of the girls who lived there asked him aside to check a few "special" items. Being the professional he was, he followed her into her bedroom, taking a plastic bag from her to check the contents. He opens the bag to see it is full to the brim with different "toys" for lack of a more monetisable description. Large, small, black, purple, all shapes, sizes and colours. She stands over him, staring intensely, and watches as he pulls each one out, taking pictures and writing descriptions for each individual item. The room wasn't near the fire. There was no chance he would have had to write anything off.
I used to work at a hotel attached to a theme park and pre-covid we got a lot of international guests that came in tour groups. Often they would leave footprints on the toilet seat and one had a case of what could only be called explosive diarrhea as the spray went above my head up the wall. Still not as bad the time a guest asked me to help with something, this was a regular game of charades as I did not speak his language, got to his room and he starts talking to someone through the closed toilet door. I waited patiently till we could get back to our game of charades when he grabs my finger in his closed hand and slides it back and forth. Then informs me to return to the room at 7:30 by pointing at his watch. I nodded politely and took my leave. Ironically, my shift ended at 7:30 so I drove home thinking thank goodness I'm not that desperate.
As someone who also works in IT, these storys line up with my experiences. Well, apart from the jizz covered iPad. That hasn't happened to me but I'm not surprised it happened to someone.
I heard from my friend who worked in IT repair shop that he has seen quite a few laptop keyboards that need to be replaced or thoroughly cleaned because of "sticky keys"
I watching this a year later and I have this small IT Story for all. I had a 1TB network hard drive that just failed to work anymore. Was shelved for a few years and then before tossing it in the bin wanted to check what was on it. Found the support staff worked in Botany Sydney and called them saying there was a problem with it and it had all of my Vintage Pron on it which was a lie. They immediately gave me their address and were very interested in helping. Dropped it into a back room in Botany, smiles all around in anticipation but Ended up being empty but they took the bait.
When I was a young lad about 15-16 or so, one of my first jobs was working for a family friend cleaning rooms in an apartment tower building on the sunshine coast. "Cleaning" was a pretty loose term for what I did most of the time, more accurately I would describe it as, "eating what ever leftovers were in the mini fridges and throwing the remining used mini bars of soap from the top story balconies into the surrounding pools from other hotels, most of the time hitting parked cars...lol". One day I was sent up to the penthouse and there were police everywhere and I though the jig was up, but turned out someone had climbed up the outside of all 12 stories to the penthouse broke in and stole a bunch of jewelry.
@@Clyntonsshedptsd inducing filth, uncapped needles and learning what rotting housos smell like when no one knows they exist and they ceased to exist, 2 months ago.
Im so mad I missed the chance to be in this one, so I guess this is just for the youtube comments section. Two stories: 1.Working for a healthcare company, and at this company there was a very strict heirarchy. IT was near the bottom of the totem pole, with salespeople at the top. Sales people got company iphones and mac laptops, and were treated like heroes at the company. Well one of our salespeople quit, and when *she* turned in her laptop, I had to clean it up and get it ready for the next sales goon. Aside from the large amounts of lesbian porn we found on the laptop, I also noticed that the laptop smelled really, really bad. You probably can imagine what that smell was, but needless to say, it was an awkward conversation to have with my boss (also female, but the peak of professionalism in a lot of ways) that it would reflect poorly on us as a company if we gave a laptop that smelled like a singapore fish market to a new sales representative, which she then had to verify by sniffing the laptop. We managed to clean the laptop eventually, but the event (and the smell) never left our memories. 2. Working for the same company above and we had a fleet of couriers who would pick up urine samples from patients and doctors for testing. We eventually gave all of our salespeople, lab technicians, and couriers company iphones, mostly so we could track their locations (the CEO was a dick). Anyhoo, one day one of the (female) drivers resigns and we have to clean off the phone. Our sweet old HR lady takes it upon herself to clean off the phone for whatever reason and is greeted by the sight of a girl swallowing BBC down to the hilt. I was then told to make "forensic" copies of everything on the phone in the event that a lawsuit or anything came up, so I had to print a bunch of hardcore porn (this was like 2018 btw) to give back to the HR lady for her to file in the driver's personnel file. I was also not an iphone guy. I work with computers, and I can make an android do backflips. I dont understand iphones though. Needless to say, when I moved the porno files around on this phone and they uploaded to the icloud and got pushed to all of the lab personnel's phones it was weird for me to have to explain to my boss what happened. Pretty sure I pinned it on the driver who quit their job though.
My dad ran a cleaning company for over 20 years in my hometown and would clean my high-school (the only place I refused to help him out at) He would get kids come around after hours trying to mess with him, they'd bang on the doors or try and get inside locked windows etc. Unfortunately for them they didn't realise that he was of Eastern European background (slovakia) and didn't put up with shit. One time he told me of a kid pissing him off at the school which he yelled at no doubt in his heavy accent which was still there even though he came over in the 70's, he proceeded to race outside jump in his Pajero and go after the kid who thought that riding his bike onto the school oval would stop my dad....it didn't and much to the kids shocked face, dad chased him over the whole oval on his bike. Dad laughed hardest when he regaled the small little shit jumping off his moving bike over the school fence to avoid being hit by the car... Needless to say lesson learnt and dad took his bike and locked it against the basketball court pole before getting back to work.
Cleaner story (since the reply thread is capped out) I was a cleaner at a 2-star motel in the Gong. We saw lots of gnarly things but the funniest was a sweet old lady who stayed alone for a few days, she was my favourite customer during that time, was always super polite when I came around and asked if she needed anything. Then when she checked out and it was time to clean her room, I pulled her bed out and found the bones of an ENTIRE Coles roast chook behind there. The image of this nice granny sitting in bed snarfing down a chook with her hands and tossing the bones behind the bed absolutely sends me.
CLEANERS or anyone with a similar job. Post your horror stories here and we'll cover them in a future video. Keep 'em short and sweet to maximise the chances of us including them.
Also get your tickets to my show. I'm in PERTH/ FREMANTLE very soon: www.friendlyjordies.com/live-show
Used to work housekeeping at a hospital, one evening I got called to the ICU. Patient had expired and bled out, room looked like someone had a paintball fight in it and the bed was a giant red sponge. Patient was positive for a lot of nasty things like HIV, C. Diff, and MRSA so I had to wear an actual hazmat suit to clean it. A nurse helping me out asked if I wanted any "strawberry jam" when I showed up. Gotta love her ability to joke in the wake of a bloodbath.
Worked a summer as a cleaner at my HS in year 11. It was my fourth cleaning shift and my job was clearing and cleaning out lockers. Second locker I opened was a guy I vaguely knew in my year level. What I saw was an ecosystem. Roaches, ants, flies, maggots, mould, fungi, you name it. It was a fucking biohazard. My boss and I decided to leave it and call in pest control. I quit that afternoon and never looked at old mate the same ever again. Years later, I still remember it so clearly.
Full disclosure, I spent 4 years doing a deep clean of the KFC I worked at every few months, so I've got some horror stories there if you ever decide to do KFC workers 2.
Edit: All boys schools are fucking disgusting
Cleaned at Brown Alley in Melbourne's CBD (nightclub on Fridays and Saturdays). The women's toilets are genuinely the most vile thing I have ever had to encounter. I've seen sanitary pads loaded with human excrement and just left on top of the toilet stall dividers like some kind of scavenger hunt prize, I took 3 weeks leave after that because I could not bring myself to return to the venue.
@@CaseySouthern brown alley lives up to its name yet again ❤
Ill keep it short. When I was younger, about 16-17, I was hired by a wealthier family to clean their house once every week. Typically, the family goes out while I clean their house but one day, im going through cleaning their house when I go into the sons bedroom and he is in there wanking it out. I say "my bad man continue" then I close the door and move on to the next room. I continued to be their cleaner for the rest of highschool.
The guy who got the customer to unplug the phone line is so good.
Yeees !
Cannot believe he got fired, just pretend you didn't mean the phone line
Hahaha so great
So good! I wish he hadn't have been fired.
Probably some nepo baby lol
I used to do ISP support and the amount of times I got a customer to reboot their router, not realising they were on a VOIP (phone over the internet) connection until the call dropped....
Seeing Jordan’s last hope for humanity leave his face when he realised what tracheostomy porn was; 10/10.
All I learned from internet pom is that you don't need an X-ray machine to make cross section stuff in Brazil.
Crazy how fast the advancements in science are going, for the sake of all our futures. Now they have camera for that developed in Northwestern University. Really makes what we have now look medieval in comparison.
Im sure he watches Family Guy and saw that episode where lois was a model and her agent had a hole in her throat and the Q man giggitty giggity goo'd
That's Willie's hole
I am happy I truncated the word "porn" from my search string when I looked it up.
The Eight likes were because they laughed too hard X)
The number of times a phone call goes from "customer yelling" to "oh, yeah, that was the problem" without any apology is my main grievance with my job. If people could call before they're frothing at the mouth, I'd be much happier.
I get it, when you've been trying to figure something out and it seems like nothing you're doing is working it sucks. Nobody *wants* to ask for help. Still wish people would stop screaming at me though
@@RedshirtAfficionado I make it a point to ignore anyone who asks me in rash manner for my IT skills, if I get asked nicely or by passing comment, I'll jump to it and get the problem sorted but I refuse to fix anything for an irate person, treat me with the dignity and respect you think you deserve and maybe i'll share my precious skills with you.
I worked for an internal IT Support and i had one call were the caller sounded stressed but not rude. About 10 minutes after the call i get an e-Mail from the caller apologizing for the rude behavior.
@MR-hk2qu so there are good calls, we're just not getting them.
Youd be frothing at the mouth to after spending half an hour scouring the most obscure sections of the internet,finding someone who had your exact problem and the one comment is “Oh yea i got that issue to”
A few years back my rundown NSW public highschool got a new IT guy, he was quiet, played guitar, hid in his little hidey hole server room all day and fixed all the IT problems. Whenever we needed a new software like a school provided adobe product or so fourth, we had to put a request in and as a smaller school in NSW, it took months to years for the newer stuff as the school board didn't really care about our school. Now this IT guy has years of dealing with the problems for the schools, once he got hired we got our software in under a day, one time I caught him attempting to simply put it "breach" the network (as it is shared across all of NSW) and copied products/license keys, then went around putting them on all the machines in the school as if he didn't just do something that's not allowed, or he'd simply just get a pirated version. He wouldn't do it for games, but if we asked for the latest music software/adobe/game development/etc softwares he would get it for us in under a day. Great guy.
Top bloke. What did he play on guitar? Not farkn Nirvana I hope 😮?lol
The real IT homie. "The software is right there! Why can't I just download it?!"
Let me share with you all a small IT secret.... The reason we know how to solve everything, is because we've either made all the mistakes we know how to fix, or have watched someone else make them. Every IT guy has forgot to plug in a keyboard or mouse, not cleared their browser history, or stupidly downloaded a virus. The difference between someone who knows about computers and someone who doesn't, is that we have had to fix all of the mistakes we've made, or our friends/family have made, while everyone else asks one of us to fix it for them.
Nah we know how to solve most things because we have basic search engine and research skills.
Had one to add to this: An ex co-worker of mine was so inept with technology that I witnessed him attempt to print a youtube video over the span of an hour before giving up, storing 10 or so copies of the attempt in his drawer and then leaving to go home early.
What was he hoping for, a flip book? Or a Harry Potter style gif on paper?
wtf 😹😹😹😹
@@AfferbeckBeats pretty sure it was the latter.
Useful technique for some things, like trying to see if horses take all their feet off the ground at any stage while galloping:-) .
@@mt-mg7ttjust pause it lol
I didnt even know an American Version of the IT Crowd existed until this video. I rather wish I had never known
Gotta admit, Richard Ayoade's sync-up is both scarily good and is just jarring when I just could never fathom a British IT guy working in some deadend job in the U.S.
well thankfully only a pilot was made
Same. Jeff winger what the fuck is this.
America made quite a few pretty shoddy remakes of British comedy shows. I know they tried to remake Coupling, which failed horrendously. The only one that really worked at all was The Office, which by most accounts I've heard might actually be better than the original. But I haven't seen either so I wouldn't know.
Same here. I was about to comment exactly what you said lol.
As an IT worker, I can handle being told I don't get laid but the American IT Crowd being better as a joke made me irrationally angry.
They made a pilot for it, but the USA version of the IT Crowd never aired.
@@v2joecr I'm aware.
God, I wanted to punch the screen at that moment. That cheeky grin, too.
But really. Suggesting any US version of a British (or frankly, anyone else's) show is just ridiculous.
@@gomezgomezian3236 well, US Office was great. Its the only exception though.
As someone who had a tracheostomy (although it healed, the scar will never go away) I legitimately felt pure despair and disgust when hearing about tracheostomy porn.
There is almost nothing you can say besides “well, it takes all kinds to make a world,” when you learn about something like that. Bizarre shit.
Anal
Its one way to get throatfucked thats for sure
@@julianbell9161 I think I was less disgusted when I heard about kidney fucking.......
@@SilentHotdog28 im not even gonna try look that up
I did 6 months working at a Uni cleaning dorms, saw a fair bit but this was the worst. Rooms big enough for a bed, desk and a "wet pod" - an enclosed unit with a shower, toilet and sink. One room was always occupied when we did the bi weekly sweep through the blocks, a polite but firm "no thank you ma'am I am quite tidy" was all that we ever got, until we came in to do the deep clean after the semester.
There was one side of the bed where the white cotton sheet had turned to brown vinyl and was obviously the part where this guy slept, the rest of the bed was covered in a thick matting of pubes, chips, dead flies and peas. The desk, wall, chair and radiator were all *covered* in jizz and food stains, the bin was full of smokers cough spit up and had black nasty trails of it all over the wall behind it and glueing it to the floor around it. The window had been covered with pizza boxes that still had bits of food stuck to them. There were several bottles of urine hidden in places along with tissues and crisp packets stuffed with rotting banana peels. There were dead flies *everywhere*.
We thought this was bad... then we opened the pod door to discover it was not being used as a shower or toilet in the traditional sense, it was being used to store BAGS OF POO. The toilet and shower themselves looked virtually unused, but the floor was covered in several inches of brown "water" almost up to the door sil. We called our boss, "It can;t be that bad just clean it" she said, "no fuckin way" we said. She comes over to the block, storms in straight past us, STEPS INTO THE POD in a show of hubris and immediately regrets it as the poo water soaks through her plimsoles.
I know this comment is almost a year old, but I have to know. How much did the school bill this guy? Like $2000 for the cleanup or?
@@deedr1234 Not entirely sure, I would reckon at least that for the clean alone probably, and more to replace furniture and decor. It's £20-25k a semester at this place for International students before rental.
@@stykytte Depending on the school I'll put money on a an extra security/cleanliness deposit being added because of that. Plus the cleaning fee.
@@stykytte how do you know it was Jizz? Did you taste it?
Jesus christ thats not tidy at all
"We forget you're there" is spot on. I was one of the IT people for a certain federal government agency that had a lot of lawyers in it. (I lasted six months.) At the office Christmas party, I sat next to two lawyers who were talking to each other, every second word in Latin, and I said to the person next to me, not in a quiet voice: "I could say anything about these two and they wouldn't hear me." They didn't hear me.
Yep, we are (were, I'm retired) invisible. The stuff I heard in private meeting because I was in the office fixing a machine that was _urgently_ needed to make a FaceBook comment.
In a sense IT are the kuroko, in kabuki theater , people dressed in black to prepare the scenery and props, they were not to be perceived. And being honest i do prefer that way.
If you had said "I have seen your browser histories" or, "did you know there is a virus that automatically turns the laptop camera on and records you when you visit a porn site", they would have been all ears.
I wish they forgot I was there. A client’s history described me a little too much physically in his recent corn history 💀
@@whorablereligion secret admirer?
Make the long awaited return to Warhammer content by doing Games Workshop/Warhammer shop workers confess their sins.
It would be a bit of a boring video because there isn't much there to confess, these days it is a very boring job where you get paid garbage and only work for 3 days a week half the day because the store is closed the rest of the time, as GW got sick of parents using their store as a free day care. So basically parents show up with a kid, do a intro game, buy a starter box and leave and occasionally a regular will show up and buy some paints or a booster and that is it.
The days of GW having things happen or wild stories about the staff or parties on the weekends etc is something that was a thing 20 years ago back when they still had in store campaign events, let people play games there, had people there all day and staffed about 3 to 4 people at the store and were open 6 days a week. Also everyone knows about all the wild stories that did happen in the 90s to mid 00s, if he asked people will just repeat the same stories everyone else already knows about that got posted on Reddit a decade ago and have been regurgitated by people pretending to be GW employees or ex-employees repeating the same stories from Reddit from 10 years ago. Modern GW is about as eventful as any other Retail chain like EB games or Big W with the same usual crowd, the most eventful thing that can happen in an occasional Karen every 3 months.
I love how Jordies does like three videos of him, badly, painting figurines and giving them public figures names and ppl still want more of it three years later.
That's staying power :):):)😂
Yes please, this or more Davez Dinnaz!
I remember the mall rat who set himself on fire. Old school GW story that one
@@foxdavion6865All the good stuff happened in the shopping centre days for sure.
As a 10+ year IT professional who missed the original question, I love this. It's way too relatable.
edit, my story: 2 years ago part of my job was to audit my clients' sign-in logs, and report out-of-country ones to management for the possibility of false logins. So I was auditing a company and reported a few dozen logins from the Caribbean on two employees. The owner responds, "Are you 100% sure these are accurate." And for sure sometimes you can't be, but in this case, some IPs are publicly registered to a local-only hotel, so I could verify it. Turns out it was the owner's husband who claimed to be on the other side of the world for a business trip,. I also reported another employee being at that location at the same time... long story short the owner's husband was banging one of the sales employees...So I directly reported to this lady that her husband was cheating on her in the Caribbean unintentionally. (professionally she went by her maiden name, so I didn't correlate the last names)
6:08 that small dark souls death sound at the realization. Classic.
As an older IT guy, my general advice when one of my clients has a "friend" looking up inappropriate for children content, is to simply install a second browser and suggest their "friend" use that one and not to leave a shortcut to it on the desktop/task bar. Seems kinda tricky, but somehow they are always confident that they can convince their "friend" to use it.
But as a rule I wont even look at their suspicious folders any more, I've just seen too many traumatising things I wish I could un-see, that I just don't want to risk adding more to the collection.
I've stumbled upon things I wish I had an arrest warrant for, and Im not even an IT person. That's like, just random computers that were left on. Cant imagine what you ppl see on a daily basis.
Are you guys not allowed to take it to the police? I'm not trying to sound rude, you'd hope you'd be able to if you unintentionally find incriminating stuff on it.
@@williamsmitherson2170 Yes & I have done but after seeing so much shit you really do get to a point where you don't want to know because 99.9% of what you'll see isn't illegal its just fucked up . I will say you do get good at feeling people out and for sure any one who ask you not to look or just wants something wiped rases a red flag but with the right technique I don't see any thumbnails recovering data etc so unless someone is waving it my face or I open a device up and its on something like cp " has happened" then I'm not going to go looking and most other tech are the same we don't have time nor want to go through anyones shit.
it's generally better to just respect someone's privacy and not look at their personal stuff.
@@williamsmitherson2170 Actual criminal stuff yes, but sometimes it's just old dudes in fetish gear and lingerie.
You should call for centrelink workers to confess their sins! I'm sure they have a mountain of stories about bogans & derros to share.
And all the times they're trying to help people but the system won't let them etc
oh god yeah
THIS
Oh we do... :3
Those fuckers can't write and you know it
Bush Guides always have the widest stories. They normally start with the guys just having a few drinks and end with calling for a helicopter ambulance.
How about "Ambulance Workers Confess".
Worked as a hospital cleaner, usually the emergency department. I've just finished the whole floor, everything looking good enough to eat off, when I get a frantic message: A visitor got bored waiting for her partner to get conscious again, so decided to inject something highly illegal.
She didn't get it right, opened up an artery, and started screaming about being HIV positive while turning the waiting room into a horror scene.
I didn't get to go home on time.
I was the IT manager for an Australian tour company in the mid 2000’s. I had a visiting state sales manager come into my office to complain that his son had done something to his company laptop and demanded I fix it before lunch as he had a flight back to Western Australia just after lunch. He had been at head office, my location, for the last two days for meetings but left it to the last minute to drop it to me. It was an easy fix and updated the company files on it and waited. He dived back into my office in a fluster as he had gone to early lunch with the director and was running late for his flight (a 4 hr flight). He wouldn’t wait for me to explain the fix, grabbed the laptop and shot off to the airport. I had set his laptop volume to its loudest setting and set the startup sound to the voice of a sexy lady saying, “yes oh great one, how may this humble servant assist you?” I got an angry call which I put on speaker in our call centre which was right next to my office. Hilarious.
Crap...I forgot to send mine in.
I used to work as a computer technician in 2011. One time this old guy (probably 65-70) brought his PC in as it was packed having issues. Turns out he had a ton of downloaded Pawrn in his photo's folder. This included a lot of animals in these photos. The sad part was, all of it was amongst photos of his family and his little grandkids. It was pretty gross. I had to act like I had never seen the folder when returning his PC.
The shit that people do when they think no one's looking...
it would've been less shameful to make a separate folder
Jesus Christ Some people deserve to be shawt
Imagine if gpt was in charge of pedo surveillance tho. Lol, it
Worked for a cleaning company at a resort in the Mid North Coast during Christmas Holidays when I was 15, was given a off-road golf buggy to get around to the amenities and cabins to clean for the day, got a little excited driving it my second week, took it off one of the off-road back tracks launched it off a ramp and rolled it, tore up my left arm. Buggy was a little damaged but cleaned it up like nothing happened.
Later that day, the boss noticed my arm bleeding and asked what happened, came up with an elaborate story about a goanna attacking me while cleaning the amenities block (seemed semi legit, there were a few around). Of course halfway through the one of the most elaborate stories i have ever come up with, the golf buggys roof fell off exposing the well hidden cracked windshield and stuffed side rail... Got fired on the spot.
Shoulda used Flex Tape
"Hello. My coffee cup holder isn't working". "You're coffee cup holder isn't working?". "Yes, on my computer". "But your computer doesn't have a coffee cup holder". "Yes it does, and it's not working". "Do you mean the CD drive?". Click.
And I though this was going to be about the grand old days of IT. Back in the 70s, 80s and 90s before the internet and all these namby-pamby PCs. When you froze solid in the computer room in winter at 4am because no one had bothered to stop the AC from sucking in 10C air from outside and taking it down to 1C; and pumping it in at full blast. Or when you just managed to stop the fire brigade from chopping their way in through the security door because an engineer had lifted the floor to adjust a cable and set off all the silent under floor smoke alarms. Or when someone threw an apple across the room and managed to hit the emergency power off switch, and you had to spend the next 3 hrs recovering and restarting all the programs that had died in a split second. Or when the powdered ink cartridge on a massive printer backfired and everyone was coated with the stuff and it soaked into your skin .... the good old days of IT.
3 Good stories for you
No1: I used to work for Toshiba as a tech, DO NOT BRING YOUR PC TO BIG BUSINESS IF YOU DONT WANT YOUR SHIT GONE THROUGH! The guys i worked with were straight out of highschool and they had portable hard drives dedicated to copying peoples stuff. they used to keep peoples drives and recover deleted stuff to see if there was any sexy photos on them and the minute there was a hot girl book in a job they would fight over who would get the repair.
No 2.
about 10 years ago there was this guy bring a computer in for repair and said it didnt turn on. i plug it in in front of him and it immediately boots. on the desktop background was a picture of himself in a suggestive pose on the bed while holding his oldfella and winking. he said what do you think? i said your computer is fine and asked him to please leave the store.
No 3.
I had a customer that said he was gaming and his computer was making this popping sound near the power supply then it died. I open up the case later on to find it full to the brim of cockroaches that then proceeded to scatter around the shop. it was the roaches zapping themselves to death that made the popping. it took me months to get rid of them because they bread like well you know. I also found a dead mouse in someones pc and they got angry at me because i wanted to charge them extra for having to clean out the case and the liquid that the mouse had become. He refused to pay the cleaning charges so i put the mouse back in and told him to come pick it up.
You PUT THE MOUSE BACK IN??
Based @@sambutton8494
Damnit can't believe I missed this. I worked IT for only six months but in that time I was consistently called out to a local tourism centre to fix and maintain their server. This was 2018 and they were still running Windows Server 2003 off of the original hardware. The server was in the "IT closet" which was a 3ft crawlspace attic up a nearly vertical ladder and placed directly next to the water heater. We had to bring our own keyboards and mice to perform maintenance on this server because they didn't have any serial mice or keyboards on hand. This server was being used to run:
1 email service for 20 employees
5 smart TVs in 3 meeting rooms
2 firewalls for network access
3 guest access computers
10 office computers
2 smart projectors
Every time we got called out we gave them a quote to update the server and a quote for monthly maintenance on the current one. The new server would save them thousands in the first year alone. Town council was genuinely pissed whenever we brought it up because the current server "works fine"
Had a client once hand me a hard drive that was taken out of a computer. I was working on a different job for the elderly gentleman at the time, but he asked me to back up the drive over onto another one for him and he'd pay extra. Got the drive back to the office and started decorrupting it so I could make a half decent backup. As the process came to an end I noticed a folder on the desktop called "GOLF GIRLS". I obviously opened it because I was curious what that meant and if it was a virus or malware I would delete it. It was a 20gb folder of topless photos of women modeling with golf skirts and clubs on a golf course, clearly not playing the game. I was almost impressed by how many photos of this extremely niche and honestly boring kink there were on this guy's drive. I brought the original and the backup to him and didn't say a word, but I asked my manager that he be the one to handle this guy's calls from then on.
Worked a cash in hand support job while i was studying. just fixing random peoples gaming PCs or laptops. The place i was at, a dolled up, collagen lipped personal trainer rolled up with her pink sony vaio laptop. The entire laptop was encased in Bedazzled sequins or whatever they're called. even covering exhaust and intake fans. On top of the laptop lid, she had printed out a picture of herself on regular A4 paper and framed it in the sequins. long story short, the artpiece that lay infront of me had been overheating to the point where the motherboard had warped it self and the keyboard connector had deteriorated. I wish i could find the picture of this monstrosity.
Watching this right now on my lunch break at my IT job.
They call us "the blue collars of the white collars" for a reason.
Light blue collars?
@@ic_trab Double down on the IT theme and call them the cyan collars.
13:11 That's why when I worked IT I would automatically tell people to scrub off their touchscreens and/or keyboards with a wet wipe or I wasnt touching it. Even when it so just from normal use, it's was still incredible how disgusting people would let stuff they routinely touched get and think nothing of it.
I carried a small squeeze bottle of alcohol based hand cleaner in my laptop bag so I could sterilise them after touching the machines. Some were so disgustingly dirty it was hard to believe the "owners" were teachers.
IT professional ethics: when rebuilding a computer, dont delve, dont peek in the history, just wipe and rebuild. Wear gloves.
I was 16 when I started in a computer repair shop and the most common issue at the time was virus infections. The thing is, most virus infections were (and still are) caused by the user going to some dodgy website and trying to get free games/videos or porn (usually the latter). Because of the era of most parents not knowing or caring about computers, it was usually their child or grandchild. More then a dozen or so times in the 6 months I worked there I had to explain to some sweet old lady that insisted only her perfect sweet little grandson uses it that porn doesn't "just get on the computer" and the virus itself doesn't download porn.
We also had a guy come in fairly frequently, in his late 60s, with one of those old-school tower PCs that a 6 or so drive bays in them, all with removable hard disk caddies, but with all the drives removed. Every time, and not kidding, EVERY time he came in, it was due to a virus, and his remaining fixed hard drive (with the OS on it) was FULL to the brim with porn videos (this is in the days when ADSL in AU was an unknown technology to 99% of the country, so we figured he was making the videos at this point). About 2 times a month he would come in and buy another few hard drives, in total I think we would have sold him 30 or so 20GB (biggest available at the time) disks. The last time we saw him was when we had his PC for service and the police turned up to arrest him and seize his computer.
At my cousin's IT place, this very sweet-looking but plain girl wearing a crucifix came in. He looked through her stuff out of sheer boredom and found troves of heart-stoppingly graphic hentai. Like, properly nightmarish stuff you'd see in a horror film.
It's always the quiet ones
People who are sexually repressed (Especially the religious types.) tend to develop some extreme sexual obsessions. So it's not surprising.
Ah, the graphic hentai collector.
Better be glad that wasn't cp!
oh
@@PhantomGato-v- Ah, you're one of those people.
For a possible part two, I once had a girl call in to have a icloud/apple ID separated.
She continued to explain that the whole family of 5 used the same apple id, because it's cheaper.
Her younger brother had made some pics that showed up in everyone's photo gallery.
Long story short the family didn't mind to all separately pay for icloud storage after that incident.
My first IT job was 1997, 25 years ago. I worked for a dial up provider doing tech support. The owner was a middle aged German man who spent his whole day in the server room watching p#rn on multiple screens. The server room having a window where he was visible to office staff. Im fairly sure his whole purpose for starting the business was to host a tonne of adult websites and do that.
Like they say, the internet only exists because pron.
@@jamesp1389 Doctor Cox said it best - "If you got rid of all the porn there would only be one website left and it would be called Bring Back the Porn"
@@shutterbug00What about the car videos?
@@dhenderson1810 yeah you need something to watch when you recharge between wanks
@@jamesp1389 and Warhammer 40k during the afterglow
I worked for a company where I was running end-of-year financial statements on IBM System 36. It required lots of time to complete, like 2.5 days as I kept having to change 8 inch diskette cassettes that held like ten flexi diskettes as the financial data was being processed and sorted. I had boxes and boxes of the old, multi-part computer paper that statements were printed on. I wasn't being all that careful with the empty boxes lying around and eventually tripped over one and fell on my arse. Pissed, I gathered up a bunch of the empties and tossed them towards a corner where a big canvas trolley on wheels sat. As I tossed them, and before they made their destination, I realised to my horror an emergency stop switch sat above the trolley, after which the boxes hit the stop switch shutting down every system in the computing centre. One of the most sickening feelings I ever experienced.
I worked 2nd swing shift at a veterinary hospital for the cleaning crew from 4pm to 2am for about 3 years, and this is probably my favorite story. On Thanksgiving -yes had to work holidays :( - there was a guy who brought in a Chihuahua that looked like a bloated bowling ball that was so fat it couldn't walk. Turns out it had climbed up onto the table when no one was looking and went after the deep fried turkey. A bit later while I was beginning to clean the nurses area I overheard the 2 nightshift surgeons and a nurse placing bets on how much of the turkey the dog ate compared to it's body weight while one of the nurses was administering the meds to get it to vomit. Not only did this small dog eat over %10 of it's weight in turkey - it swallowed some pieces whole like a damn python. The nurse won the bet. ( I then had to take out the vomit trash since no one else would touch it)
Jizz guy is the type of guy that cracks a smile when a piece of poo hits the toilet water just right and shoots up a little water at the perfect angle, he's also the type of guy that puts his entire mouth around the bubbler nozzle after PE class.
Also, do sins from nurses/medical professionals next.
Fuck yes
th-cam.com/video/XtgQy0ai4wk/w-d-xo.html
I reckon Jiz man works as a presenter on Sky News
@@jaykennedy2652 likely Paul Murray
He's already done "nurses confess their sins"
As someone who has experience in customer service, It's a nightmare
@@ACDZ123"special service"
You should ask for confessions from hospitality workers (those who work in hotels/motels). I used to sell product into these places, mainly 5 star joints, and the stories were horrific. Drugs, deaths, and debauchery 🤢
There is a BBC TV Drama called Hotel Babylon from the mid 2000s which is exactly that.
Yeah I’ll believe that
Replies for the cleaners comment is maxed out, but I thought I'd add a reply:
Not my stories, but my mum's - shes run a very successful cleaning business for the past 15 years. She told me that in one house they cleaned, the rooms were "so full of dirty nappies that you had to force the doors open to get in". The piles of nappies came to at least knee height in MULTIPLE rooms. Safe to say the poor ladies still had to clean it as they had already been paid in full.
Once doing a spring clean of a middle-aged bachelor's house, she told me that this man left a single used condom in every single bin in the house, like bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, everywhere. What was particularly disturbing was that none of the bins were used, they all had clean bin liners except for the SINGULAR used condom in EVERY one. I'm not sure what kind of message he was trying to send about his virility to the cleaning ladies, but I am sure it did not come across as he intended.
In a university in central EU, a guy working for their military's logistics (Master in Mathematics and PhD candidate from an elite university) phones up the IT department, and tells them "I think the internet on my PC is deleted". The IT-department, very amused, checked in on his PC. Hardware was all fine, turns out the internet was actually completely wiped from the computer. There was no way to access it by any means. They had to change the PC because no one was able to figure out how that could have happened.
Those stories are the greatest. When it's not the customer just not getting tech but the circumstance being extraordinary. "the internet being deleted" sounds like exactly one of those although I would have given anything to dig as deep as I could to find any trace of it
NIC failure more than likely.
I cannot stress how strange the american version of The IT Crowd was with the same Richard Ayoade in it. It must have been profoundly strange for him to have to redo all of the same lines like some unknown version of limbo.
It was just one pilot episode though, so yeah weird, but prolly an easy payday for the guy. Very strange that they used the exact same script too though.
hollywood is just continuing their lazy rehash of old classsics.
IT story: one time I had a remote worker come back into head office for her 6 monthly review and she demanded a new laptop, declaring "this one's a piece of shit". She's Italian btw, not Italian American, I mean Italian Italian. We state her PC isn't old enough to be due for replacement, against policy etc. The laptop is in very bad condition physically. Cue call from the manager demanding new PC. I tell him to come down to the IT room. I show him the laptop. It had several keys missing, and several of the remaining keys had hot rock burns on them. I showed him where I had shaken the laptop out and enough hash crumbs and weed had fallen out of it to roll up a joint, assuming you were willing to pick all the breadcrumps, hair, pieces of fingernail and god knows what else out as well. I pointed out the laptop was less than a year old. As it was clearly unfit for use, but also she was unfit to use it, I issued her a laptop I'd made in my first week out of the destroyed remnants of 4 other laptops. (I was waiting on a background check and didnt have network access, so I spent a week doing that and fixing every printer in the place. I hate printers. All IT guys hate printers. If you find an IT guy who likes printers he's a member of a weird cult that and probably wants to shoot up a school and should be stopped)
Yes, we all hate printers, there is a demon living inside each one.
all printers except thermal
I’ve had quite a bit of experience working for big and small cleaning companies and companies that have cleaners. It does not matter how you judge them most of them are crap. Always trying to pay less, expect you to work quickly but still do a good job, give you crap products to use and then expect you to jump over the moon and back for the companies.
First time working for a small country town cleaning business. Who was also lying to the government at the same time and collecting the pension. One of the companies’ rules was that we do not make beds as they are incredibly dangerous. Most of her workers were old including herself, I was the youngest cleaner that she had at the time.
We went to this real estate agents house on a hill, super big ceilings, modern mansion style. She had told all the family that was living there to not be home at the time so we could clean the house properly. So, the three of us cleaners brake up into different parts of the house because it is so big.
I walk into the late 20-year old’s room and it first I do not see it until I get around the bed. He had left a big puddle of jizz and it was not one, but two shots because of the size of it. He had left two loads of the stuff on his bed out in the open. I called the head cleaner in, and she knew as well as I did what it was. She said “Oh, well I told her. We do not do beds.” She then covered it up with the sheets.
Never tell a cleaner that they do not know the difference between body fluids. It is like lying to a nurse or doctor about why an object that is not a butt plug is stuck up your ass. We know.
Cleaning rich farmers houses has the messiest people, especially if both wife and husband are heavily involved in their business. Of course, the common person does not know where to look. Go looking in their kitchen open the oven, sandwich press or toaster and if they look inside and outside like a bushfire has gone through, they have been using it repeatedly without cleaning it. If you think Offices are bad for their kitchen appliances, you have not seen anything like a farmer’s home. I did not understand how their appliances had not burnt down the house or refuse to work in the first place. I could take a knife and scoop out enough black gunk to make a sandwich with.
One farmers toilet left me questioning the laws of physics after. It was the private bedroom/bathroom of the parents; everything looks normal when I walked in. I lifted the toilet seat and saw the entire inside of the toilet covered in blood like the shining elevator scene. I flushed it thinking that would get it all down sat the toilet up and found the same blood all over that. It was period blood. Do not ask me how I know, I know. I had to physically wipe an entire toilet roll on it then hit it with chemicals, letting it sit then hit it again, scrub it for dear life then come back three times to get it to move and this was fresh stuff, not stale. Yet again do not ask me how I know.
I almost felt like it was my womanly duty to inform this lady that she needs to see a doctor because this is too much blood in one sitting, but I do not get paid for that. People do not understand how much a cleaner can find out about you from cleaning your house.
I never in my life wanted to know anything about anyone. I am not the friendly talky, talky cleaner. I am the shut up and get it done cleaner. I do not want to know anything about you, but you leave everything out in the open and I mean everything. I have seen a lot of weird shit.
If you want more for number two let me know. I have some bigger ones to tell.
As someone in IT, one of the first things I check when I have a problem is "Is everything plugged in? If it is, unplug it, and plug it back in." Works a treat - you always feel stupid, but it's always the best thing to check
I've done IT since the late 90s. Circa 2004 or so, I am working at an engineering firm. One of the older engineers (in his 70s) asks if I can do an after - hours project for him. I say sure.
Turns out his son (in his 50s) had died, and left his entire estate to his "best friend". The dad was looking for answers, and brought me the dead son's laptop to look through.
The father had (somehow) gotten the Windows password, but was confronted with a ton of password protected ZIP / RAR files (can't remember) which he couldn't access and wanted to know the contents of.
It was trivial to get access to the files. Long story short, there were tons of photos and videos of the son and the best friend doing amateur gay fetish porn.
What to do? Being gay was NOT acceptable back then - and neither were fetish things.
I knew if I said I couldn't access the files he'd just go somewhere else.
So I lied to the father. Told him that the son was pirating software and movies, and he needed to be very careful showing the files to people, which was technically illegal.
I also found several draft copies of the son's will, which provided some more insight into why the "best friend" was so special, without "outing" him.
Ah, IT in the 90S.
that was kind of you tbh
did the friend get the money.
@@SeanHartnett-t8c yes
My dad was assigned to do community service cleaning at Chermside park, one morning he rocks up and lo and behold a massive human shit on one of the BBQ hot plates, he cleans it the best he could with what he had on at the time and heads back to the car to get better equipment, but the time he had gotten back someone was already cooking on it.
THIS CAN’T BE REAL MY GOD This is why I never used anything there to dodgy get ur own grill but fuck me I hope they let the heat build up first
Post this in the pinned comment, that's where he's looking
@@s8wc3 yep ok, thx
the horror.......the horror!
When we first implemented the Internet into our offices, I had to repeatedly tell our office managers and the VP to quit watching 🌽 on company time.
Aside from that, it's pretty much "have you tried turning it off and on" or "reinstalling the OS" type of stuff
Did they at least have good taste?
@@sirapple589 Back then it was photos and very small video files. There were no hubs and most sites were behind pay walls. They certainly weren't savvy enough to use IRC rooms but there really wasn't any software to help you block access to websites. We started out trying to block sites but then just blocked everything and only allowed the weather channel site and yahoo, I think.
I thought about quitting when they told me I had to confront this big secretary lady about downloading images onto her machine. She had to be 50 years old and I was 20.
Well, to be fare, those managers and VP just went back to the hustlers burred under the folders in their desks.
j
Im pretty sure most managers have blocked an hour of the day called "meeting" to destress with corn!
I've remembered a traumatising story from one of my ex colleagues thanks to this... I won't go into full details out of respect. But I'll just say it's not everyday that you get given an iPad to work on after police return company belongings from a deceased employee and it gets worse when you're told to replace the case where you find dried blood underneath the old case that you then get told to clean.
guessing it was murder or suicide
(cleaner horror story),
A friend of mine has parents that own an Airbnb. His job is to clean said house after the tenants are done with it.
One time, two college age guys came in as tenants for the weekend. They stayed two days, And then left.
My friend later described walking into the building, and finding literally every single thing in the bathroom, the bed, and the little living room covered in jizz.
His parents are conservative Christians, and the AirBnB was in the back yard of the family's property, not even fourty feet from the family home.
My friend decided not to horrify his parents and didn't tell them. He then just cleaned up the mess, and then just went along his way.
Doing Network Support about 14 years ago a client calls up, Office Manager for a solicitors firm and says that none of the computers are working. I check the servers not able to be remotely accessed by me. I am thinking that the server has pooped the bed. That was until the office manager says 'Nothings on, not the server, workstations, not even the lights in the office.'......'Ahhh are you having a blackout maybe?' I asked. She checks with the business the next floor down....no power either. 'Sounds like you are having a black out, you'll have to wait till power comes back' I say 'But isn't that what the UPS (Uninterruptible Power Supply) is for?' she says 'Ahhh no that just gives you time to safely power down the server' ......Boy did I cop an earful after I audibly face desked.
I also on occasion would have clients ask me what caused their particular IT issues and I replied they were either ID 10 T or PEBKAC (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair) Errors.
The number of times office clients would call up in the morning saying their work stations would not power on, after the cleaners had been in the night before and knocked the power cable either out totally or just enough to stop things working. (facepalm)
started working as a security guard at the start of the year and already have heaps of cooked stories, seccys would have some wild confessions especially if they're not working anymore lol
Oh hell yeah I can contribute to that lol
Ex-security tech here, but yeah - right with you there lol.
All of these stories are also known in the industry as "Monday morning"
Average Monday morning
One time during holidays the school I worked at had a crew doing overnight asbestosis removal. I came in the following morning to start the vacation clean. Found the toilet we had left unlocked for the crew totally destroyed with shit, all over the floor. What was worse...there were worm parasite looking things wriggling around inside the toilet bowl. Whoever did this also got into my cleaning store and had attempted to mop the floor and wipe the sink with my equipment. It was also covered in shit, had to throw most of my supplies in the skip.
Chances are when the guy said Yugoslav he was not referring to Yugoslavia, but to his ethnicity (Yugoslavs being a specific Slavic group) this is actually the ethnicity Yugoslavia was named after (Yugoslav-ia). (Also related fact: Yugoslavia was originally a kingdom led by the former king of Serbia, it was formed shortly after WW1).
I want to know what people who’ve worked as Disney mascots or other costumes mascots have seen and heard underneath those masks of theirs. I have to imagine they’ve seen all sorts of weird stuff and been told even stranger things.
Please, cover my name if you use this. I volunteered to work in a psych ward for children and adolescents, my job was mostly cleaning up after bulimic teens had a go in the communal bathrooms (there were 2 of those bathrooms in a ward for 150 kids). One day I asked a nurse why the hell do these teenagers have to use communal bathrooms if they had toilets in their own rooms (they were locked). She replied that staff had too little trust in the patients after the 'threesome incident' occured. I still feel bad for the actual kids though
I'd love to see funeral home workers as an episode.
god please no! 100% guaranteed there will be necr0ph!li@ sh!t in there.
There'd be too much necrophilia for that one.
@@TheCuriousFan1 More like wierd stuff they find in bodies.
Your IT Crowd region preference has me not only appalled but also outraged! This is a completely unacceptable situation!
The stories people use to cover up their adult adventures on their devices never gets old. Once when working on a virus ridden computer, I called the bloke to let him know I'd have to factory reset his device. He started telling me this long story about how his cat walked across the keyboard and that must have been how all the gay adult content got on there. I'm just sitting there listening to this story while looking at his desktop background covered in about a dozen men naked wrestling waiting for him to stop so I can give him some tips about how his cat can avoid viruses when looking at adult websites in future.
Worked at the movie cinema. Cleaned after the film sessions. Many a warm full cup last behind (people clearly didn't want to leave the cinema to visit the bathroom). Even found a turd on the stairs walking up once.
I used to do PC repair. Once had a guy bring in a computer that was so crusty it was like someone had spilled icing on it. He opens it up at the counter and immediately there’s a set of tits on the screen.
Needless to say we told him to leave and I spent the next half hour washing my hands.
@@ACDZ123 I wish
@@ACDZ123 That seems way too common me. The closest work I ever did was administrating a 3000 employee company's Citrix thin clients. Thus you had to handle alot of people's daily work horse device. I am now a little OCD with my personal devices, I clean them basically once a month or more.
12:19 - Well at least he got repeat business from her.
I heard from a mate when I was still a pharmacist about a patient who presented to hospital with STI infections in a stoma (like the neckhole but when the gut doesnt and you have to shit in a bag)
I feel for them having to sit them down and explain "you can't fuck that, and if you do fuck it; use a condom for fuck sake"
People needa fuck unfuckable things with a fucking condom fr
Proving the adage that the only reason aural and nasal sex doesn't exist is because the holes are too small
This is similar I knew a lady that worked at a film processing place and she said they called the cops all the time because peds would actually try to have cp developed it was scary how much she said it happened
the nerve of those people. like they could at least learn to develop film at home instead
1:09 As someone who has worked a (very) little bit in IT support, let me tell you the "have you tried turning it off and on again" is probably the most important to check. I've had 4 calls, 2 of which were resolved using that exact method.
Used to clean an accounting firm's office that was in an OLD police station. They didn't follow any data protection laws and the building was falling appart.
I would let myself in after hours, there by myself and there would be confidential papers laid about the place and I was the one shredding everything. I ain't signed shit to not disclose anything. Saw a local company had 1/4mil just in cash.
Cleaning the busted building pissed me off so much (the hoover would pull up the carpet and i kept tripping on the uneven floor) that I punch the wall and my fist went right through.
Said I tripped and got away with it. Apparently that hole was still there 5 years later.
Dressed up and you’re not even being sued!
I'm currently in uni for IT and starting to rethink my career choice after watching this video
You only need to stay awake from residential and break fix work. Come work for a small MSP like us - nothing like these stories!
"Say hello to my little friend'. : Al Pacino in Scarface.
Mrs Richards: "I paid for a room with a view !"
Basil: (pointing to the lovely view) "That is Torquay, Madam ."
Mrs Richards: "It's not good enough!"
Basil: "May I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window ? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? the Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically across the plains?..."
Mrs Richards: "Don't be silly! I expect to be able to see the sea!"
Basil: "You can see the sea, it's over there between the land and the sky."
Mrs Richards: "I'm not satisfied. But I shall stay. But I expect a reduction."
Basil: "Why?! Because Krakatoa's not erupting at the moment ?"
... I don't know if it counts as a profession per se, but the stories from community theatre actors are AMAZING.
I use to work as a housekeeper for a large hotel/gaming establishment in Melbourne. A guest staying on one of the floors I was working had their service light on and I entered the room to begin cleaning it, walked into the bathroom first to start there and was overwhelmed at the sight of about 30 dildos suction cupped to the glass shower screen. The guest was present in the room when I went in I panicked and was fairly new to the job about 3 weeks in. so I went and got my supervisor as I didn’t know what to do. She came in put her rubber gloves on and began un suctioning the dildos from the shower screen, then proceeded to say “you’ll get use to seeing stuff like this, hey this showers not gonna clean itself” - I lasted 12 months in this job.
I'm surprised this episode didn't have the classic, all encompassing tale as old as time in the IT sector; which is that your work IT admin does indeed see everything, and pretends they don't to not make you feel awkward about it.
The phone call disconnect one was a pretty common occurrence when I worked on the call centre of a (relatively small, and unfortunately long dead) ISP during the earlier ADSL2 days. Customers would call up complaining about slow internet speeds, so as part of the troubleshooting we would ask them to perform an isolation test. Basically, go around to every device connected to the phone line and unplug them, leaving the ADSL2 modem still connected, and see if that improves things. Then, one by one reconnect the phones and keep checking. Naturally, customers were always too eager and would begin right on the call and disconnect their phone. We would usually get them calling back a couple of minutes later, all angry and confused.
12:25 I was 18 when an old lady handed me her crusty iPad and telling me that her husband exclusively watches legal teens... I've never handled another user's device without gloves since.
I've been in IT for a year. I've never been more honored to be called a nerd plumber.
i love crying into my money as an IT worker
I didn’t even know they did a American version of IT crowd 🤣😅
Almost exactly the same script and they still cast Richard Ayoade as Moss, so it was really weird to see him run onto the set behaving exactly the same way. Imagine if they had a British version of Big Bang Theory but Sheldon was still American.
@@onceonly1111I saw a pilot called "Are You Being Served In Australia"
It was an Australian version of "Are You Being Served" the UK comedy.
The funny thing with the Australian version was, it had a completely new Australian cast playing the same roles, but John Inman was in it playing Mr Humphries, like he dud in the UK one. So that is the same thing.
The Aussie version was a telemovie which didn't get past pilot stage.
13:43 the man I imagine is one whose self-given nickname would be related to a drum filled with ham.
I LOVED the one where the IT guy got the one on the phone to unplug the phone line 🤣 ❤
Retail workers. Absolute treasure trove of stories, I guarantee you.
Really lifts my spirits that Jordan points out it's the creative people who always ask questions. That's what puts them in the better side of dunning kruger, they can visualize every possible and impossible way things may go wrong, and that's how they may learn to become brain surgeons.
And I don't even want more brain surgeons, I want slighlty less people being the literal opposite of one. People who call people DUMB for not having the same situational indoctrination as them hammered in, and be outright smug about having that knowledge.
See, this is fine, but when your job is to answer the same set of questions with varyingly shitty tone, sometimes someone’ll innocently ask the question and get caught on the end of a shit week, and don’t deserve it.
Yes, people with specific knowledge acting smug when others don't have it is shitty. But what's more annoying is people who flat out refuse to learn anything about anything and act like you need to be some kind of IT wizard to possibly understand how a TV remote works or how to connect the one cable to the one plug it can fit into. And they'll throw a tantrum for hours instead of just googling the problem like their poor younger relative is going to have to do for them anyway.
It's especially bad when these people have been relying on these devices for work every single day for decades and still act like they've never seen them before and get all flustered when they're expected to figure out if it's actually turned on or not.
Thinking that 'creative' types are near infallible, almost god-like, and are above the Dunning-Kruger effect is peak Dunning-Kruger effect
@@brettleighglassbruh
When I was in high-school I was in a Cisco Networking class, there were 8 of us our final project was setting up a simulated network of about 3k machines. We got it up and running in 2-3 days, ironed out any bugs the last day, the day to show it works comes around and everything was broken. Damn near no nodes could communicate, we are rushing around trying to look through every list and ip address we could about ten minutes before the end of the class our teacher just started laughing her ass off.
Me and another of the kids both stopped looked at each other and said "God damn it".
It wasn't just as simple as turning off and on, but a cat-5 cable was plugged in to two ports of the same router which just caused an infinite loop basically. We were so pissed but I have never mocked the "Is it plugged in, have you turned it off and on again" since.
13:26 that's exactly right. working on backend is code for i live in the basement of the building
Lifeguards. As one myself I can confirm we are basically beach rent-a-cops.
This was a great 15 minute video of an aging comedian getting annoyed that he related to the people being mocked for once 🤣🤣
Shit up oldie
Even as someone who only has an average understanding of computers, my biggest takeaway from this video is that Jordies probably fell for an alt+F4 prank in the 2010s.
Had a chat with my friend about his IT job with courts he told me that he gets about 3 hours of down time during the day where he does whatever he wants so i take it that helping some boomer with a printer or pushing the power button on that other IT guys get some watch time done.
It's unfortunate I can't reply to the cleaners one but I'll share the story since I think it's a pretty good one
I used to work as an insurance cleaner - fires, flooding, ect. One of our jobs was to inventory items that were around the affected area and check if we can clean them or write them off for compensation for the client. The guy that trained me told me a story about that once where he was on a job, working his way through a house after a small fire in the kitchen and one of the girls who lived there asked him aside to check a few "special" items. Being the professional he was, he followed her into her bedroom, taking a plastic bag from her to check the contents. He opens the bag to see it is full to the brim with different "toys" for lack of a more monetisable description. Large, small, black, purple, all shapes, sizes and colours. She stands over him, staring intensely, and watches as he pulls each one out, taking pictures and writing descriptions for each individual item. The room wasn't near the fire. There was no chance he would have had to write anything off.
I used to work at a hotel attached to a theme park and pre-covid we got a lot of international guests that came in tour groups. Often they would leave footprints on the toilet seat and one had a case of what could only be called explosive diarrhea as the spray went above my head up the wall. Still not as bad the time a guest asked me to help with something, this was a regular game of charades as I did not speak his language, got to his room and he starts talking to someone through the closed toilet door. I waited patiently till we could get back to our game of charades when he grabs my finger in his closed hand and slides it back and forth. Then informs me to return to the room at 7:30 by pointing at his watch. I nodded politely and took my leave. Ironically, my shift ended at 7:30 so I drove home thinking thank goodness I'm not that desperate.
JORDIES! Jordan Shanks! This has gone on long enough! You MUST get a Warhammer 40k tattoo! You promised at 1 million subs! I demand it!
As someone who also works in IT, these storys line up with my experiences. Well, apart from the jizz covered iPad. That hasn't happened to me but I'm not surprised it happened to someone.
I heard from my friend who worked in IT repair shop that he has seen quite a few laptop keyboards that need to be replaced or thoroughly cleaned because of "sticky keys"
No jizz covered laptops? Damn you got lucky lol
@@davidshepherd265 Did that happen to you?
You should do a vid on government employee horror stories. I'm sure they would be amazing
I watching this a year later and I have this small IT Story for all. I had a 1TB network hard drive that just failed to work anymore. Was shelved for a few years and then before tossing it in the bin wanted to check what was on it. Found the support staff worked in Botany Sydney and called them saying there was a problem with it and it had all of my Vintage Pron on it which was a lie. They immediately gave me their address and were very interested in helping. Dropped it into a back room in Botany, smiles all around in anticipation but Ended up being empty but they took the bait.
When I was a young lad about 15-16 or so, one of my first jobs was working for a family friend cleaning rooms in an apartment tower building on the sunshine coast. "Cleaning" was a pretty loose term for what I did most of the time, more accurately I would describe it as, "eating what ever leftovers were in the mini fridges and throwing the remining used mini bars of soap from the top story balconies into the surrounding pools from other hotels, most of the time hitting parked cars...lol". One day I was sent up to the penthouse and there were police everywhere and I though the jig was up, but turned out someone had climbed up the outside of all 12 stories to the penthouse broke in and stole a bunch of jewelry.
I'd say do tradie horror stories, but you'd have too many stories to NOT do a several part series.
I was gonna say “housing commission tradies”
@@Clyntonsshedptsd inducing filth, uncapped needles and learning what rotting housos smell like when no one knows they exist and they ceased to exist, 2 months ago.
Im so mad I missed the chance to be in this one, so I guess this is just for the youtube comments section. Two stories:
1.Working for a healthcare company, and at this company there was a very strict heirarchy. IT was near the bottom of the totem pole, with salespeople at the top. Sales people got company iphones and mac laptops, and were treated like heroes at the company. Well one of our salespeople quit, and when *she* turned in her laptop, I had to clean it up and get it ready for the next sales goon. Aside from the large amounts of lesbian porn we found on the laptop, I also noticed that the laptop smelled really, really bad. You probably can imagine what that smell was, but needless to say, it was an awkward conversation to have with my boss (also female, but the peak of professionalism in a lot of ways) that it would reflect poorly on us as a company if we gave a laptop that smelled like a singapore fish market to a new sales representative, which she then had to verify by sniffing the laptop. We managed to clean the laptop eventually, but the event (and the smell) never left our memories.
2. Working for the same company above and we had a fleet of couriers who would pick up urine samples from patients and doctors for testing. We eventually gave all of our salespeople, lab technicians, and couriers company iphones, mostly so we could track their locations (the CEO was a dick). Anyhoo, one day one of the (female) drivers resigns and we have to clean off the phone. Our sweet old HR lady takes it upon herself to clean off the phone for whatever reason and is greeted by the sight of a girl swallowing BBC down to the hilt.
I was then told to make "forensic" copies of everything on the phone in the event that a lawsuit or anything came up, so I had to print a bunch of hardcore porn (this was like 2018 btw) to give back to the HR lady for her to file in the driver's personnel file.
I was also not an iphone guy. I work with computers, and I can make an android do backflips. I dont understand iphones though. Needless to say, when I moved the porno files around on this phone and they uploaded to the icloud and got pushed to all of the lab personnel's phones it was weird for me to have to explain to my boss what happened. Pretty sure I pinned it on the driver who quit their job though.
Sitting at my desk in WA. You got me pegged Jordies.
My dad ran a cleaning company for over 20 years in my hometown and would clean my high-school (the only place I refused to help him out at) He would get kids come around after hours trying to mess with him, they'd bang on the doors or try and get inside locked windows etc. Unfortunately for them they didn't realise that he was of Eastern European background (slovakia) and didn't put up with shit. One time he told me of a kid pissing him off at the school which he yelled at no doubt in his heavy accent which was still there even though he came over in the 70's, he proceeded to race outside jump in his Pajero and go after the kid who thought that riding his bike onto the school oval would stop my dad....it didn't and much to the kids shocked face, dad chased him over the whole oval on his bike. Dad laughed hardest when he regaled the small little shit jumping off his moving bike over the school fence to avoid being hit by the car... Needless to say lesson learnt and dad took his bike and locked it against the basketball court pole before getting back to work.
Cleaner story (since the reply thread is capped out)
I was a cleaner at a 2-star motel in the Gong. We saw lots of gnarly things but the funniest was a sweet old lady who stayed alone for a few days, she was my favourite customer during that time, was always super polite when I came around and asked if she needed anything. Then when she checked out and it was time to clean her room, I pulled her bed out and found the bones of an ENTIRE Coles roast chook behind there. The image of this nice granny sitting in bed snarfing down a chook with her hands and tossing the bones behind the bed absolutely sends me.