@@God.sDaughter I'm not sure I understand what you are asking. I don't think they will wilingly let you go live your life because they indentified with parent role for a long time so they might get indentity crisis as well..Person just need to overcome this forced guilt by parents and realize he/she is not so dependet and inccapable as they treat you like you are 5 years old...
@@God.sDaughter but maybe if they realize it's not healthy for you and doesn't make you progress in your maturity then they would focus on what's best for you
Yes my father did this! He wa very Liberal but he needed me to need him! If you didn’t show it he would sulk in the most horrible way and he was your father! It was hard to be nasty to him when so much of the world is against you anyway!
Watching this right now as I'm a 22 year old living at home. Having had everything provided to me, I feel like I'll remain stuck unless I don't move out. I'm grateful for not have had to struggle, but I feel like I'll remain a child under my parent's roof.
Stephy Kinss I remember makong myself a promise at 22 that by 25 I'd be out of my parents house. Im now 30 and still here. I highly suggest you find a way to move out. I have not changed anything in my life because of me living here. May God bless you and help you on your way.
I moved out at 31 and now back at 37 due to a breakup ,depression and depersonalization and a a slow down in work and health. You got to look out for number 1 consider what is important to you. Take care of your health and don't settle for status quo. Consider a lifestyle you want and hit a job that supports that lifestyle financially.
LivesInWonderland fuck.... that shit scares me lol no disrespect to you guys, everyone has their own path, but as a 21 year old, I've been thinking of moving out, but my wage won't support a life on my own, I need something different in my life, I want something to change, don't know what it is, it's like I'm 100% ready to leave the house but 0% not ready at the same time, or I guess you could say completely unprepared, I'm barely saving up to get myself a better car but not even close to a cash only vehicle, there's something missing within me but can't tell what it is, I push myself to do things I'm not comfortable doing to see if I feel a bit of enlightenment but not much has been felt. Not sure what this comment became but, I think my unknown is to move out unprepared... I don't know lol I'll just stop here
I feel the exact same way. I feel extremely unprepared but the urge to move out is so strong. I just want to be independent from my parents and luckily I have a job that pays enough to get by. But there is a fear that's holding me back. I guess it's the fear of failing or even suffering but that's life, isn't it?
Family is important. Offspring never moved far away over history. Take the longhouses for example. You are fortunate to have this good deal. Use it as your platform to become more and more responsible in all aspects of the world around you.
I was financially independent from my parents since 22 years old, still living with them but I still have to abide house rules. I was 27 when I was finally able to move out. It was then I became the person I always wanted to be. Within a year, I became wiser and braver to face whatever struggles there are. I'm now 31 and married and I feel very stable mentally and emotionally. I feel very happy waking up in the morning knowing that the person who is responsible for my happiness is myself.
congratulations!!!, im 22, i still go to uni and still have 1 or a half year left, and i haven't got a job yet, still no income on my own, and i'm very scared for my future lol. currently working on my self throughout this pandemic starting baby steps by doing chore and started decluttering my room and networking as much as possible. Could you give out basic tips if you have any?
Congratulations! I'm 20, and my parents are terrified of the idea that I live by myself, they didn't even want me to go to college in another city because they were "sure" I wouldn't make it. Now with the pandemic I actually feel lucky that I'm at home because it's safer than in the city I wanted to go to, but my goal after college is definitely trying to be financially independent so I can move out and live my life. I still want to live near my parents, I just don't want to be overprotected and controlled with everything in my life...
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
This. I can’t let that image of perfection go. This is why I get very upset when my mom goes out to drink alcohol and dance. It feels like god is betraying me because I haven’t separated the god image
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
Young Ian Sorted Jung founded Analytical psychology which focuses on one's own psyche in order to make that person better. Many SJW's are people that are angry at the world because they found it difficult to navigate and succeed due to their own shortcomings (rough childhood with bad parenting skills and victimhood mentality would do that to you).Thus if you can't point at yourself and fix what is wrong then you rationalized that it's "clearly" someone else's fault for you being inadequate and those people must pay. Of course typical SJW's are also Marxists and would dismiss Jung as being "a fucking white male".
Hey, Dimitris, the same age as you. Moved out on the last October. Well paid job, girlfriend that is helping me well, but the decision was earlier. Now I am stucking, but what you do need is the motivation. How to get a motivation? Change your focus. Try to imagine your future in 5 or 10 years in a positive way and just try to move forward day by day. The YT video "I'm 30... And Still Living With My Parents!" helped me as well.
Jordan Peterson really does remind me of the best profs I've ever had. He's capable of relating political philosophy, psychoanalysis and mythology to common, modern day problems and turn them into extremely pragamtic bits of advice. Truly a hero.
Hello, do you have a recommendation for a good book about psyho analysis? I am interested about this topic but I am not sure where to start here, thank you.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
I stopped believing my parents knew better around the age of 20. I've learned not to trust anyone but my own ability to reason. We're all born into this world at some time of age without having a clue what we're doing or where we're going. It seems as if we leave this world the way we came - alone and confused.
Morgow "I've learned not to trust anyone but my own ability to reason." My own opinion of myself isn't high enough for that. I think that would require a lot of hubris on my part, and quite an ego. Fortunately, I've found a friend or two who've earned my trust. "It seems we leave this world as we came in--alone and confused." I think that's way too broad a generalization. I know many people who've lived a happy life and died contented, surrounded by loved ones. Far be it from me to judge, but right now, your worldview seems kind of cynical and tinted with bitterness. Which is understandable--life is hard, after all--but you shouldn't let whatever bad experiences you've had ruin your outlook on life or kill your capacity to trust. We can't always be right about everything or solve all our own problems; we need to be able to trust people we know and love\care for. Just my two cents.
Metal Jacket, if you cannot trust your own ability to reason, then how can you trust someone else's? You only understand so much as what you see yourself. The point is to do your best to make sense out of a situation. The best way to do this is to educate yourself and learn how to write, do research and connect different events or theories. It seems we leave this world as we came in--alone and confused. "I think that's way too broad a generalization. I know many people who've lived a happy life and died contented, surrounded by loved ones." Sure, but whether you die happy or contented, you won't remember it. People spend their last moments happy until they are either put down clinically or start to fade naturally through their sleep. Worst case scenario you die awake. I still remember when my cat died of old age while being awake doing so. The cat's body was stretched out as if she had cramps in her back. The cat was gasping a long time for air and made strange and uncomfortable movements with her legs. Dying is weird. During that cat's last moment she was completely unresponsive no matter how many loved owners were trying to comfort and connect with her. Whether you are surrounded by loved ones or not, all that goes away when your brain does. After that, nobody knows exactly where we go. Hopefully, people find god. Without faith in god, you cannot be happy with life or understand it, as we all have to die and believe we go somewhere. Nobody wants to die and let that be the end as if we never existed, with a dying brain that cannot remember anything. "Far be it from me to judge, but right now, your worldview seems kind of cynical and tinted with bitterness." I am not cynical. I just know that whatever this body is made of does not last forever and will cause you a lot of pain through life. This doesn't mean I don't believe there are good times too - I just don't believe reality is easy to understand and will require hard and painful efforts. Life is never as easy as you'd think it'd be or how you think it should be, and if it is, you have a poor understanding of reality. Nobody fully understands what reality is, though. I would like to consider myself a realist, even though people may agree to this or not. I really don't care. What's important to me is that justice and life is served for everyone, and only god can give that fully. If you want to find life, Jesus will show you the way - nobody is more convincing than him - I believe him to be the only one you can fully trust.
***** Oh. I seem to have made a mistake. You see, when I first read your post, I (mistakenly) assumed that I was reading yet another existential post from an *atheist,* with all the usual "the world is dark and terrible and you can't trust anyone" mantra. But then I saw your very accurate sentiments about our Savior, and I realized that all you meant was that we shouldn't expect too much from this life and its imperfections, and that if death is the final ending, it's a bad one. You're quite right. My apologies for the misunderstanding. I wish you well. Ciao.
Its not a shame to live with your parents; its a shame to not grow up and to be able to take care of yourself both physically, financially, and mentally.
Exactly!! So many people don’t have it easy, and the parents make the situation a comparison/contrast of their experiences and expectations. The world has changed and they haven’t got the mental capacity to recognize the change!
Watched this movie for the first time a couple weeks ago. Now one of my favorite movies of all time. You will tear up if you understand JBP's analysis of it. It's too real
Dub Yuh no it's an old Italian story, it's very frightening and violent the book, the movie is fairly disneyfied (though slightly frightening at points).
Kind of reassuring to see that i'm not the only one who feels like the need to move out to progress in life. It's scary, but i think it's so necessary.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
I’m 23 and my parents are about to move. They want me to come with them because they enjoy my presence and I help out a lot around home. Thing is, I make TH-cam videos for a living. It’s going pretty well, I’m making around 80k a year now and I’m so thankful I managed to turn a hobby into a small career while I go to school. I’ve been dying to get out and be independent. Just knowing I can get my own place and flip to the next chapter in life is exciting. You never know who you are until you test yourself.
Im 33 and have never made more than 20k in a year and live at my parents house. I would give anything to get out of this situation. Please, go live your life. Don't waste another minute. 80K a year is enough to do literally whatever you want in life.
Tim Westchester that fact is actually mindblowing it's like reverse. Jordan's son think: well I should do my own thing and explore and choose path. But hey my father knows everything maybe I can should ask him? The idea conflict could tear him apart
My son sussed me early on. Must have been 3 and nursing his first cup of milk without that little top to stop them spilling. 'Where we get milk?' he asked. 'We get milk from cows son'. He looked at me with a mixture of dismay and disgust and said: 'Don't be silly daddy' and walked off.
@@leanhanleleanah6929 nop. I survived NYC & it was the best thing I ever did! It was crazy at times but my experience all in all was fantastic. Met so many new people but most importantly learned a lot about myself. Self-growth lol
Moved out at 23 but still emotionally and mentally attached to mom. Now I'm 31 and ready to pull back on communication and looking for her approval. I know intuitively that this step needs to be taken to have the courage to really build a life of my own. Idk why but I know this step is gonna bring deeper love into my life.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
Independence. Metaphorically, this is how individuals create. Independence breeds original ideas and an original human being, thus creating value in society. To become fully independent is the greatest symbol of growth.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
The creativity of children doesn't yield much though, they don't have the resources to fully actualise what they're thinking. They can think of a drama, draw something, but they can't contribute to society with it. Until they're adults and go out on their own.
There's also the economic factor and convenience factor. These things tend to evolve to resemble rental agreements over time. The child just lives there, but stops asking for guidance.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
What he's basically saying in a summary is that when you move into adulthood, you need to separate from your family eventually in order to be a real man.
Donavon Yep that's right but unfortunately no matter how much some people want to leave it can be impossible. Unless we save our money for ten or twenty years to be able to afford our own place.
That is a excuse that I am using. After getting injured. With tbi and body pain. That you need money. But before I had my own place. Where I was the king. That felt way better than now.
@@DaveSimkus Wtf are you talking about? Lmfao! "ten - twenty years to be able to afford our own place" .... bro...... does Anyone else feel me on that Bullshit comment rn?
But why does that need to happen? When I was 17, almost everyone basically considered me an adult. Your parents could always know about your life, but you shouldn't let them decide anything for you when you're an adult (I'd say at least 19, not 18). Letting them weigh in on your decisions is healthy, but you can agree or disagree. Okay maybe I just have very reasonable parents.
Does not need to literally seperating. I am an Indian and I can't leave my mother alone. That would probably kill her faster. She took care of me when I needed it. But, now its my turn. I consider it as a responsibility. My dad did the same with my grandparents though he was just one of their six children. And, lucky me I had the priviloge to gain wisdom from them. So, seperation is acceptable until the parents are together and healthy. But, they gave everything for us, its the least we could do for them at their end. And, one more thing putting them in old and homes is the worst thing. Because, they don't care about luxuries at that age. They want to spend every minute left with their loved ones. Its often misunderstood by people.
But what if your parents don't want you to become independent. What if they still want to dictate your direction and meaning in your life? This is my current issue.
Ascendant Depends on your temperament and theirs as to how you approach the break. If they have their own pathologies themselves, sometimes a "violent" break is the only way you'll gain your freedom needed (by which I mean moving out, blocking communication and assertive boundary setting for contact). If you and/or they are more mild-mannered, reasoning with them can be useful, up to a point. In my own experience, you should apply as much push away from them as is proportionate to their pull on you.
I’m currently 22 had everything provided for me and as I’m grateful for my parents I just get the feeling that I’m being held back and not given the opportunities to grow and become my own person.
I feel exactly the same. Doesn't matter how much they gave me and didn't asked me to work, noone wants to live inside a cage. I guess the solution of this problem is financial independence from parents
This really speaks to me because my father died when I was barely a teenager and since then I've always had no problem living on my own, having controversial opinions, doing what I want with my life, and all the responsibility that went with it. People older than me always remarked at how mature I seemed and I just said thanks and took it as a complement. However I always felt like my father dying had something to do with my maturation. Great video
CoolGuyAtlas ,, same here. I figured out the meaning of life at a very early age. Always amazed me that many of my age mates never figured out what was easy for me to see.
CoolGuyAtlas how old were you when your father died if I may ask? I have the same thing as you only I did not lose my dad but have a few very scary near dead scenario’s.
It probably contributed to your maturity. I don't wish my father dead at all, but I wish they'd kicked me out at a certain point or something, or told me that they were going to and held it over my head. This is yet another piece of evidence shattering the whole "two parents are better than one" thing.
On the contrary , for me took a while . I wanted to believe my parents knewed what was better for me , i supressed a part of me that resisted the idea of not believing that until one day i realized that i was very unhappy about not having fully of my life.
I don't doubt that it did, thinking about it. I have not had to endure the same or similar life events as you, but it seems to me that times of tragedy can make you go one of two ways. I think you went the best way.
Going to school far away from my parents has been great for me thus far (almost done with my first semester). If anybody reads this who is considering making a similar move I would encourage it. You learn that you can make it on your own and you can take a lot more credit for your achievements. You also can't blame your tyrannical parents for your personal failures, which may hurt in the short run, but is healthy in the long run.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
I'm 22 years old still living with my parents. Up until now I have lived a very privileged life. Two very hard working parents and two brothers who love me very much. My dad is an army veteran who moved out at 17 to escape poverty. My mom-who also moved out at a young age-is a very hardworking woman who is very much loving as she is disciplined. I have come to understand that leaning on my parents for my entire life has givin me fear of the unknown. I'm scared of doing things that I have never done before. I tend to over think the simplest of things. For example if I have to drive to church which is like 15 minutes to my house I will take the same road that always take, but if one day the road is closed for what ever reason, I will come close to having an anxiety attack and regret every leaving my house. This is embarrassing for me to type because I know alot of dudes my age love going out with friends and shit but I'm an introvert and I mostly keep things to myself. I dont like to bother people unless it is absolutely necessary and I dont like trying new things. Anyways I know that as I am now i wont stand a chance in the real world, so I have been seriously thinking about enlisting in the military like my father did. If you have read my comment till this point I'm sorry for taking your time I just needed to vent my concerns.
go join military so they tear you a new ass and make a man out of you. you will realise life isn't as scary you thought unless you make mistake like marry or have kids with wrong women. I would youtube a channel called 'aaron clarey' he guides young guys to figure out themself. Binge watch his vids.
Thank you so much for sharing this! As someone who gets easily anxious, i feel you ona deep level! I've had this situation where I woulnd't be able to drive on my own because it freaked me out to have so much responsability as a driver (potentially being a risk to somebody else). What I realised was that to become more independent and more confidently in what my capacities are I have to build a trustworthy relationship with myself- it's like I don't trust myself enough and that's why I'm not confident in driving or doing anything by myself like adulting? the anxiety around it keeps me from growing and therefore from becoming more independent
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
@@AnaS-of8ri Im dealing with the same thing of driving rn! My mom made me lose my confidence in driving when I was a teen and now Im 19 having to get comfortable on the road again and learn to trust myself because she never made me feel like I could
I just turned 21 and this is exactly where I am now. I'm straying away from the stable future that my mom envisioned for me and taking a leap towards an unstable but exciting future. Naturally, she's against it though. I'm aware that she's only thinking what's best for me, but I have already made my decision and it's really hard cause I'm constantly attacked by waves of anxiety and the want to return to my comfort zone. Regardless, I have no intention of turning back, and am gonna give my everything to resist that call of comfort. I still love my mom though.
I feel you on a spiritual level. The waves of anxiety especially at night 😭 my mother is so attached to me, and I’ve realized I try to get her approval in everything I do and it’s been making me miserable living like that. I’m ready to move on and start my own life, I want to learn how to not care about what she thinks of me anymore, I feel like she uses this as a tactic to hold me back living with her
The part where he says you realise you’re an individual when you ask your parents about something and they don’t know what you should do more than you do... that’s me right now. I’m out smarting my parents, and they cannot help me going further. I want to move out so damn bad, but the housing crisis at the moment... I feel so stuck.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
At 26 and still living with my parents I was tought all of this without being able to express it. Thats why I made the decisions i have to, do my own laundry, make my own meals, etc, etc. So when I move out, which will be soon, I'll be more than prepared.
He's right about learning your parents are figuring it out as they go along. It is a terrifying maturity birthing moment. It's also the beginning of a new stage of relationship with your mom and dad.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
Very true, it's also amusing to have reached this state but realise your parents practice the art of looking perfect to their children to gain "respect". So they'll never admit that and have constant proverbs and phrases about the wisdom of elders. The more I realised the world was big and I didn't know much and we're all bumbling along (I realised first for me and peoole my age) then I started to look at older people with a slight suspicion. Especially the ones who try to use that view of "elders know best" to control you... They way they could at the age of 5 when you thought your parents/older folks were superman.
These kind of subjects need to be taught in every school, just like maths, physics and English. This was sooo eye opening to me, i thought i was the only person feelings this way and i was feeling super guilty for not wanting to talk to my family cuz i needed to learn to be my own person.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
I want to live on my own very badly, but housing is very expensive here and I'm not able to get a proper job. I feel like it's a huge problem for my generation because we can't develop ourselves or grow into adulthood even if we were ready for it years ago. It's like living life being stuck in a waiting room and you're only getting older.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
My Dad moved out of his parents house when he was 14. I am 22, and i still live with my Dad. I am planning on moving out in 6 months, as i just graduated, and am looking for a job. Times have certainly changed, back in the day, he could have easily gotten any job at age 14, while today, no one would hire a 14 year old, and my Dad would have probably been put to jail if i was out of the house by 14. It's not as easy to move out of your parents house in the 21st century, at least not for someone who has college tuition, a minimum wage job, and other liabilities. Back in the day, college was dirt cheap, today, a student can't afford most colleges on his own, without going into tens of thousands of dollars of debt. That's why many millennial are still living with their parents despite having passed the age of 18. It's a different world now, the dynamics have changed, and those with willingness to achieve and persistence to work hard are the ones who succeed. The rest become employees.
A friend of mine moved out at 16. She learned to stand on her own two feet very quickly after a very hard upbringing. Any circumstance it tough, but perseverence eventually triumphs any intimate barrier.
i never grew up with my dad being present much in my life, but it makes it harder for parents especially dad's who are the ones usually that teach/guides you how the real world really works and how brutal it can be also to shield you from nasty people taking advantage of you,when everything if always constantly changing at faster rate than it ever has before
I am 36 and married and still with our parents. I am indeed the bread that's left too long on the shelf. I feel so fearful now with thoughts of parting away. They are 70 and yet I feel I am more dependent on them than other way around. I don't know if it's love or vulnerability that haunts me. Keep me in your prayers.🙏
He's right. I'm a caregiver for my aging parents. I went out into the world and learned vastly more than they did, and returned to find them on the brink of death from the consequences of their personality disorders. I'm a bachelor so I intervened because I could but they resent me for being smarter than them. If I had never gone away so long ago, I can't imagine what a nightmare this would be. They try to put me down but I've learned techniques to frustrate them. They've become like children and I've become like their father. It would be horrible if it was the other way around. This is a temporary intervention, and I'll move on soon, and I know that after I leave they'll backslide and die - so it's like I'll have to "kill" them, metaphorically speaking, to get back to my life, but I sorted myself out too, so it is what it is. That's life. I'm very fortunate that I'm me and not them or anyone else.
10 years ago I would have called you the devil himself. But I am in the same boat. My parents haven’t changed one bit. I moved back with them. For personal retreat but little did I know. I was moving back for true torture. Every word, every action they have conjured have always been a chase move of a fool. I was blind when I moved away from them, and know that I see reality for what it is. I pity them, I look down on them, but thinking clearly, that’s what they had to do to survive in this. And they know what I’m capable of, lol they don’t cross that line. Survival mood at an all time high when I’m around. But I still love them
Thank you for the positive feedback. Here I am 3 years later after a perilous & profound cross-country drive a continent away from Philadelphia. Thanks to Dr. Peterson, Carl Jung, and a host of other informative writers, I survived the trip and have settled here for now & made myself useful. Never looked back.
In an interview JP had he said "people often write to me saying that i just told them things they already knew but did not know how to say/articulate". This, this is one of those, and it's eye opening.
Been living on my own since 17 years of age. I'm 21 now and not financially independent yet, I am now a business owner though and slowly working on becoming truly independent
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
its not a financial thing... its more like a deeply emotional attachement and existential crisis because my parents wont be here forever. pls someone tell me that im not alone. pls give me advice i dont wanna get married but i dont wanna end up alone in the deep void of life
I didnt have a spectacular relationship with my parents until I moved out of the house when I was 23. Now, my relationship with my mother and father is so much more meaningful. Im 33 years old and I am getting ready to move out of the state...its the next step in life. Move on.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
Misha Ivanov Bunch of 30 year olds still living with their parents smh. I moved out 12 years ago and they haven't gone anywhere. It amazes me how many just don't want to take that step and find any excuse to not move out. Oh I can't find a great paying job...... Well your not going to until you have work experience. Oh I am waiting to finish school....... It has been 12 years, how long could your degree possibly take. They are missing out on learning to be self sufficient and sadly many are not going to move out until they get married. So they go from parents home straight to marriage. That gives one little to no time to figure their life out for themself and not being accountable to anyone.
Isaac Spencer people like this dont want to be independent. They desire to be taken care of always by someone. They're leaches and cowards. My personal opinion is derived from specific observation. I could be wrong and im okay with being wrong. However this is what i see. And its grose!
Pretty much moving out=killing your parents (which if you're Filipino, that's basically how your mom sees it lol). But to another extent, you're also kind of killing _yourself_: You kill your parents as the ultimate authority over your life when you become independent, but you also kill the son/daughter that you were so that you can be reborn as a man or a woman who can eventually become father or mother to another, and the cycle goes on.
Theres financial independence and there's emotional independence. The second is truly important to separate yourself from that child-parent relationship which I believe holds you back from developing properly into an adult. I chose to live at home 3 years ago to help with lower rent, and it took a longggg time for my parent to learn that I was no longer their child they have authority over. I was a lodger with my own life, finances and routines. Our relationship was strained, until they learnt to slowly accept that. I'm moving out soon and my parent is very saddened, but I feel it will benefit our relationship and shift the dependency dynamic that they have with me. This lecture couldn't be anymore true though in terms of adult relationships with parents.
These lectures are worth tens of thousands of dollars in therapy. Cannot believe they're available to us all for FREE. God bless you, JP. God bless you.
Doesn't this all have more to do with money? I'm sure most people would be long gone away from their parents if it was easy to monetise something that you're good at. It isn't always.
That is simply my issue. Bachelors degree couldn't find a job. Decided to get my Masters and see where it takes me. Been lopking for jobs outside of where I live. It's working for me. But, I planned on moving out when I was 22...not enough money. I'm barely 25 and searching to get away from my parents ASAP. Loans + low wage job. It something that needs to be planned. I plan on moving out this year. Money is my sole reason.
Alister Dante I hope you're doing well. I know what you mean about just doing anything. None of us want to do something that drains us when we have that thing that thrills us right at our fingertips. It's hard to balance the external have-tos (food, shelter) with the internal have-tos (passions). I encourage you to see the value in yourself and not to give up. You *are* going to make it. Please watch this video. I'm rooting for you, bucko. www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DqmKtyeQ9Ikk&ved=2ahUKEwirhMb6mq3eAhUKTawKHVFsDJ4QjjgwAXoECAgQAQ&usg=AOvVaw0Op9KQTyjZI02l2xHqE0QU
Just because someone is living with their parents doesn't mean, they can't grow up and be responsible. As long as they don't act like children and let their parents serve them. For example, if someone is taking care of their old parent(s), it is a lot of responsibility and a child couldn't do that.
The socio-economic and familial support system doesn't always let you understand what's best for you. And our upbringing is flawed too. So, either you get to know (what's best for you) too late or you just never get it, stuck in a loop repeating the same set of mistakes your parents did in a different time-space and fight and become frustrated with the futility of it all, never realising what went wrong in the first place.
My family has moved away from me twice. First at age 11 and now again at age 22. The sad reality is that your family only wants you near to them for selfish reasons. Not to help you, but for you to help them. The pain and agony I’ve gone through watching my family leave, is very heavy and long lasting. No matter how much love there is between you and your family, you have to put yourself ahead of them. You never know what someone else is thinking and chances are they ARE NOT thinking the same way as you. I would do anything to live near my parents and siblings. But they don’t feel the same way. Am I supposed to put my life desires aside to chase a feeling I have? Logic > Emotion
I moved out at 23 at a different country to work and the first days were really hard , it hit me leaving the comfort of my parents house and I just missed my siblings, other then that it was the best decision in my life , ps there is nothing more fun then buying things you love with you hard earned money.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
I had to break myself from my dad's stronghold. Even when I would spend my own money on a vehicle, I felt obligated to present it to my dad for his approval. A few years ago we had a falling out. That broke me. I haven't needed his money in over a decade, and now I don't need his approval either. I see him regularly, but don't put near the weight in his opinion as I once did.
The god image of our parents... well said. In recent years after so long of believing my parents were these great people who did no wrong, were genuinely good people devastated me by displaying that they're actually not in ways nothing short of betrayal. Some day... I'm going to be away from my parents generally speaking and be far happier. Look forward to it.
This seems more true for Western Society. I'm from Brazil and it's quite natural for families to stick together and live under the same roof; even when the son/daughter gets married, they can naturally live with parents, grandparents, etc. It's what I would describe as a community family. Maybe one of the reasons the West has nourished this idea of the "independent children" is that individual freedom is valued over familial bond and obligation; it seems shameful in America to be older than 18 and live with your parents. It does not make you weak to stay with your family. Like anything, it's a choice. Not imperative to leave to "become a man or woman." i.e. the "death" of the parent can be symbolic.
Community living and community expenses have sooooo many advantages. No loneliness. Old are taken care of in their own home they built by ppl they love and young gain wisdom n are taken care of by them. Free baby sitters and doulas and guides etc for life. Good for the pocket too as you save money on housing , bills, appliances. That money saved can be put to use kids edu or a dream vacation or an early retirement or a financial cushion in between unexpected emergencies or lay off or covid.
@@clublulu399 And in Asia too. Only America is so anti family. Hence u see a breakdown of society and high depression, loneliness and drug use to cope.
@@melissafeds1344 tbh i see nothing wrong, ok you are over 20, you live with your parents, but you also work everyday, you bring foot to the table this is alot better no?
Not even a week ago i had an argument with my mom that profoundly shocked me because i realized that the relationship i had with my mom when i was young is completly gone. Despite so many hints that i have ignored now i see that i should stop trying to avoid facing the reality that she has changed, like me. It hurts to see that what suppose to be your "home" isn't anymore and from now on you need to create your own.
People do grow up and relationships do change. The relationship you have with your mom isn't gone, it has only changed. Yes, those growing pains may hurt, and it may be difficult to spread your wings and fly. Seek to be a woman of virtue. Do not compromise on this principle. Re-dig the old wells, and rediscover the faith of your ancestors. Such traditions can provide the wind for your wings, so you can fly like an eagle in a world with a bunch of turkeys. Perhaps it may do you good to visit your father or grandfather.
Want to know how I became independent from my mum? Moved out and started earning minimum wage. Wasn't a big leap for me because I was raised on minimum wage, lol.
I know what he's talking about at 4:15 . Being a final year undergrad kid, I had to make major major career decisions that involved closing off of some doors when selecting some others. And when my Dad, whom I've looked up to all my life, was as clueless as me about it, I was loosing my mind. The absence of confidence in his advice had me pulling my hair, unable to decide what to do. It's not like I'm an ideal obedient kid, but not knowing your Dad's solid opinion on an important decision is really tough to deal with
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
it may be worse when your parents are good and loving. When they're terrible and hateful, it's easy to at least blame them and you dont have as mixed emotions (generally). i am unable to move out, and im still feeling like a child, especially living with my teen younger brother. but my mom is the literal best, she gets that im an adult and she does everything to make sure we have what we need and want within her power. It's just her presence and I cannot blame her for that. i am very very lucky to have her and im forever grateful, but I am unable to grow. and that feels almost physically painful. I can't wear what I want, go where I want, say what I want. not becayse she makes me, but because i respect her so much i dont want to subject her to that. I want solitude, aloneness, some sort of independence to finally be who i really am and show the ugly sides of me. it hurts
The trying to go back but cant is what I fell in to for a year...I learned that my parents idea of a safe stable life is not a good way to get ahead or become financially independent...it created so much anxiety that I fell dormant. Now that Im climbing back out, the anxiety is back, but I need to use it to march forward and create something. Really interesting to see it described from this perspective.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
I want every Asian man and parents to listen to this. They refuse to let go of their children and the child soon gets dependent on them and lets them dictate every relationship they have.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
Four months later I wonder if you've done it yet. I suspect you haven't. We shouldn't say 'one day' because its too abstract; in a sense, you could say it lacks commitment. Make a real promise to yourself. Write it down. What are you going to do, specifically?
Earlier this year I had to acknowledge to my daughter that she had gotten further in her calculus studies than I ever did. It was a striking moment for both of us. Simultaneously sad and joyful to see her beginning to stride ahead and forge her own path. It is the ultimate mark of success as a parent - to make ourselves superfluous.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
I just graduated college & back at my parents. Sucks so much. Moving out by the end of 2020. It gets worse the longer you wait to move out...thats what i have realized. Also, stunts your growth & confidence to be independent real quick.👊 Goodluck peeps!
I didn’t leave home till I was married at 27 with 40,000.00 in the bank so that wasn’t irresponsible. Parents home can be your platform or your springboard but either way you can grow up and become responsible and eventually you look after them.
I've noticed that me having no father figure in my life, drives me to learn as much as I can from many great men because 1) I'm constantly looking for a father figure (I tend to get emotionally attached towards guys like Jordan Peterson, I've had many idols in my life, all have been great men I've never met in my life.) 2) I'm constantly looking up what Jordan Peterson has to say about things because.... I'm afraid of my dad (JP but obviously symbolically) not knowing, and me not knowing, and it scares the hell out of me to not be prepared for life. Wanted to post this in case it was an eye opener for anyone.
@@pilarquiroz3585 You're not wrong but that doesn't concern the word phenomenon at all. Phenomenon comes from Greek, and the plural is phenomena (likewise for, let's say, criterion/criteria. Probably others out there but none immediately spring to mind).
Ugh! His words really hit home with me. I've moved around a lot on my own and have held a lot of jobs but I've never felt overly content. In one way or another, I always found myself coming back to live with my Mom for short periods of time. Now I'm at the point where I understand this will be the last time. We are completely different people with different dreams and desires. Part of me I think has been searching/hoping for our relationship to shift in a direction, that I now understand, will likely never come to pass. She is content with the way she lives her life even though I wish it were different, both for her sake and my own. I can't change her and she can't change me. I'm my biggest advocate for myself and I'm just going to have to own it.
Im seventeen, sometimes i feel my parents are childish, they get things personal, get mad easy and also figth a lot because of mom trying to feel the best in the house, i try to help by buying food when there is not but it seems to make it worse because my moms thinks i am doing more than my dad only because i buy breakfast, i feel their relationship is going down and i certainly dont know what to do, im thinking in just getting slowly out of their way.
My parents told me, straight up, "You have to realize that we're going to die some day, and the house is NOT going to you, so what are you going to do after we die?" I was shocked but it made me realize they're dicks and I have to start only caring about myself. As selfish as that sounds they actually motivated me to be completely independent. I still love them tho.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
I was thinking about it from last few days. This idea of when to ascertain that you parents can no more be a guiding light to you. It scares you in the first place, but then you do learn from your mistakes. And ultimately it gives you that freedom where you can fully manifest your personality.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
At one point in my life I realized that my parents aren't omniscient, that they aren't god. This understanding destroyed my foundation on which my life was build on. Suddenly I felt a feeling of freedom, but also fear. This is a very important step in life if you want to grow personally. And never forget, everyone eventually dies alone
Yes that's super powerful when he mentions the realization of your parents not knowing more than you. I found that to be very true in separating myself from my parents and realizing they are just people themselves too.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
I'm in this gradual independence transition with myself (still living with my parents), and it just hurts you know. I don't know, I just feel alone in this. I feel like I'm letting go of my support and I'm being more distant from my parents and there's a pain there. It's like I'm ripping myself out of home but it also doesn't feel like home anymore either. I don't know. I used to think independence means moving out but for me it seems to make sense to start it within, and it just hurts. I feel confused and lost and I'm on my own and it suddenly feels very real. And my parents are starting to seem like people to me rather than parents. There's pain. But also undeniable growing freedom.
I'm in a weird situation tbh: I'm 31, BA, MA, and some work experience, I just managed to get rid of my student debt (I'm from EU but some private schools/universities are quite expensive), so that's good, but I've been living with my parents for years because paying a rent where I live, with my salary, was just not possible. Turns out they're both retiring, moving out to a new home they just bought, and I'm keeping the appartment, which is really ideal since I don't have to pay a rent or anything and I'm going to be on my own but...at the same time, I feel like I'm cheating when so many people are struggling out there. I feel guilty about not having to go through the same hardships.
Are you joking? People would kill for this kind of deal. Most people don't even have the ressources to get a bachelor's degree, not to mention a master's degree, and have to pay for a shitty appartment. Enjoy my friend.
If your parents are still renting the apartment, then I see why you would feel guilty. But, if your family OWNS the apartment, then there’s nothing to be ashamed of man. This is something that your parents worked for and to provide you with. Maybe, this’ll allow you or even push you to work just as hard to do the same for your children. Take advantage of it! Wish you and your family the best :)
Joined the army at 18, 19 in ranger school and in Afghanistan at age 20,21,22,23. Got out and now looking st my friends who went to college, it feels like they just haven't matured. Their parents still treat them like high schoolers and they act like it. It's strange, but makes me glad about the path I took. Being on my own now in college, married proving for ourselves away from the roof of our parents.
This just confirmed that I'm not crazy. Im glad that I've witnessed this so called metaphorical death of my parents, and yes it is scary. But at least I know who I am now, and that I'm ready to fend for myself.
I went to live independent at the age of 23, but had to come back home one year later because of a depression, I tried again at 26 and I managed well for 2 years and a half, but I don't know how I came back home again, and here I am, stuck. It is like there is something in me that always make me come home even if after I profoundly regret the decision. I hope next time I will get independent will be forever.
I really needed to hear this. COVID expediated this process for me and it was really shocking. I went from being really close with my family and depending on them for emotional support to not being able to get real support from them for 3 years. It was really shocking and I’m sort of stuck as that young woman who needs them when in reality I’m independent now. That cognitive gap is a source of so much pain. The young woman who was so suddenly cut off is still hurting, although it is a natural process that would have happened gradually anyway. And I’m so happy! In those years away from my family I met the love of my life, settled down, got a job I love. Why is it so hard to let go?
This is such a difference in cultural values. Westerners are so individualistic. In most of the world families stay together forever and I don't think it makes their adult children any less. Parents in the West are so desperate to get their children out of their house yet once they get old all of a sudden want them to give up their lives and take care of them. It's so odd. Here, we just always stay with them and make them apart of our lives.
I'm 28, still unemployed, living with my parents. It's not that I don't want to move out, it's just that I can't move out unless I get a job. It is embarrassing but they won't allow me to move out unless I get a job. It is in the Asian culture ( it means entire Asia, not just China,Japan)
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
Moreover, it’s worse if they don’t stop trying to control what job you do and worse is study instead of work. However ultimately you’ve to stand up for what feel good about.
dude, i can't get enough of this guy. this teacher, who cares dearly about what he teaching, and cares even more so for the people he is teaching, picks up on someone who probably missed what he just said 4:39 on the other side of the room 4:01 (probably by posture/facial expression), and carefully restates the exact same point with new words so that one person doesn't miss what he sent. seamlessly. holy shit.
I think it's a little more complicated. I will always value my parent's and grandparents opinion over any other outside force. They're older, wiser, and my grandfather is like the unofficial patriarch of the family - of course I'm going to heed his advice and wisdom. One day that will be me (hopefully) in a family - leading it. I'm going to university on my own, and have vastly different opinions on the world than my parents, but it should be every child's duty to cultivate what their parent's taught them, respect them, and heed their advice IF you live in a structured and traditional family.
I think that what we learn as children from our parents is a model that works well enough, and that's why we need to listen to our parents when we grow up, but then we go out into the world and try out different models, some of which may be better. When I have children I want to give them what I've learnt works so they can draw on it, but they will have to find out what works for them - but they have a model that works to fall back on, if that makes sense. So I relate to what you're saying, I think. They do have more experience than me so I may as well listen to them and draw from their experience.
@@ysadeligerodo you have any suggestions? I’m 22 graduate student from college now was struggling with financial issues, but I want to be on my feet this year
I had to pause this talk numerous times just so i could take in everything that he says. It's really deep, and i thank him for every bite sized revelation that i had.
Min 4:16 this happened to me as I grew. It was about 32 years old when I realized my mother was way behind and that she was no longer someone I cared for opinions. I made so many decisions while living with her in my teens and 20's, that when I looked back at 30 years old I realized she could no longer ahow me any paths
To be honest, this is where I am at 44. I love my mother but I'm not a momma's boy. I stayed with my mother for years because of a promise that I made to my older sibling. Tie in being comfortable, financial issues in my early 20's and 30's, and a broken marriage and I'm fighting to break free. I'll be purchasing a home in which my mother will be moving in with me and my wife. My wife is the Queen, period. While my mother is 82 and I respect her, we are just night and day now. I truly don't respect her opinions or listen to them. My struggle is keeping a level of respect and honoring my parent while doing my own thing and living my own life. The struggle is real...
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
![[LIVE] : ONE ลุมพินี 88 | คู่เอก "ป้อมเพชร vs อัสลามจอน"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1ZqTVVbMgbo/mqdefault.jpg)
it's harder if you have parents who DON'T WANT you to become independent
Most parents are possesive and can't see you as individual but their extention
Ivana B But to what degree would these parents let go of their children?
@@God.sDaughter I'm not sure I understand what you are asking. I don't think they will wilingly let you go live your life because they indentified with parent role for a long time so they might get indentity crisis as well..Person just need to overcome this forced guilt by parents and realize he/she is not so dependet and inccapable as they treat you like you are 5 years old...
@@God.sDaughter but maybe if they realize it's not healthy for you and doesn't make you progress in your maturity then they would focus on what's best for you
Yes my father did this! He wa very Liberal but he needed me to need him! If you didn’t show it he would sulk in the most horrible way and he was your father! It was hard to be nasty to him when so much of the world is against you anyway!
Watching this right now as I'm a 22 year old living at home. Having had everything provided to me, I feel like I'll remain stuck unless I don't move out. I'm grateful for not have had to struggle, but I feel like I'll remain a child under my parent's roof.
Stephy Kinss I remember makong myself a promise at 22 that by 25 I'd be out of my parents house. Im now 30 and still here. I highly suggest you find a way to move out. I have not changed anything in my life because of me living here. May God bless you and help you on your way.
I moved out at 31 and now back at 37 due to a breakup ,depression and depersonalization and a a slow down in work and health. You got to look out for number 1 consider what is important to you. Take care of your health and don't settle for status quo. Consider a lifestyle you want and hit a job that supports that lifestyle financially.
LivesInWonderland fuck.... that shit scares me lol no disrespect to you guys, everyone has their own path, but as a 21 year old, I've been thinking of moving out, but my wage won't support a life on my own, I need something different in my life, I want something to change, don't know what it is, it's like I'm 100% ready to leave the house but 0% not ready at the same time, or I guess you could say completely unprepared, I'm barely saving up to get myself a better car but not even close to a cash only vehicle, there's something missing within me but can't tell what it is, I push myself to do things I'm not comfortable doing to see if I feel a bit of enlightenment but not much has been felt. Not sure what this comment became but, I think my unknown is to move out unprepared... I don't know lol I'll just stop here
I feel the exact same way. I feel extremely unprepared but the urge to move out is so strong. I just want to be independent from my parents and luckily I have a job that pays enough to get by. But there is a fear that's holding me back. I guess it's the fear of failing or even suffering but that's life, isn't it?
Family is important. Offspring never moved far away over history. Take the longhouses for example. You are fortunate to have this good deal. Use it as your platform to become more and more responsible in all aspects of the world around you.
I was financially independent from my parents since 22 years old, still living with them but I still have to abide house rules. I was 27 when I was finally able to move out. It was then I became the person I always wanted to be. Within a year, I became wiser and braver to face whatever struggles there are. I'm now 31 and married and I feel very stable mentally and emotionally. I feel very happy waking up in the morning knowing that the person who is responsible for my happiness is myself.
I felt this when my parents move out to another city and I had to stay because Im still studying
congratulations!!!, im 22, i still go to uni and still have 1 or a half year left, and i haven't got a job yet, still no income on my own, and i'm very scared for my future lol. currently working on my self throughout this pandemic starting baby steps by doing chore and started decluttering my room and networking as much as possible. Could you give out basic tips if you have any?
good for you! :)
Congratulations! I'm 20, and my parents are terrified of the idea that I live by myself, they didn't even want me to go to college in another city because they were "sure" I wouldn't make it. Now with the pandemic I actually feel lucky that I'm at home because it's safer than in the city I wanted to go to, but my goal after college is definitely trying to be financially independent so I can move out and live my life. I still want to live near my parents, I just don't want to be overprotected and controlled with everything in my life...
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
My father told me once, "At a certain point of life... every relative becomes just an individual"
Thank you
He was right
Your father was a smart man
Like family?
Very true. That doesnt mean u live them any less though. U just start to see the reality of which u lived in better as u get older.
When you realize your parents don't have all the answers and aren't perfect that's when you can truly move on.
truth!!!!!
This. I can’t let that image of perfection go. This is why I get very upset when my mom goes out to drink alcohol and dance. It feels like god is betraying me because I haven’t separated the god image
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
What if they keep telling you since childhood your the problem?
@@vincentdolente7053 You'll probably need a therapist then
0:03 When we talk about Jung, doors need to be closed...
Dimitris Dimarelos I know, eh? lol.
Dimitris Dimarelos SJW's might get triggered.
*The door closes; dramatic soundtrack kicks in, and the lighting fades to a dark red colour*
What do sjws have to do with Carl Jung? Asking for a buddy of mine.
Young Ian Sorted Jung founded Analytical psychology which focuses on one's own psyche in order to make that person better. Many SJW's are people that are angry at the world because they found it difficult to navigate and succeed due to their own shortcomings (rough childhood with bad parenting skills and victimhood mentality would do that to you).Thus if you can't point at yourself and fix what is wrong then you rationalized that it's "clearly" someone else's fault for you being inadequate and those people must pay. Of course typical SJW's are also Marxists and would dismiss Jung as being "a fucking white male".
This video couldn't have come at a better time in my life, thank you Professor Peterson.
its sad that my english is not on point. What sight do we need to transform? i didnt get it
dimitris1988kom Same here!
+Zé A. what do you mean, can you better describe which part you didn't understand?
+Hunnit Round Heath i listened to it more carefully, and its clear no. thanks anyways
Hey, Dimitris, the same age as you. Moved out on the last October. Well paid job, girlfriend that is helping me well, but the decision was earlier. Now I am stucking, but what you do need is the motivation. How to get a motivation? Change your focus. Try to imagine your future in 5 or 10 years in a positive way and just try to move forward day by day. The YT video "I'm 30... And Still Living With My Parents!" helped me as well.
Jordan Peterson really does remind me of the best profs I've ever had. He's capable of relating political philosophy, psychoanalysis and mythology to common, modern day problems and turn them into extremely pragamtic bits of advice. Truly a hero.
Hello, do you have a recommendation for a good book about psyho analysis? I am interested about this topic but I am not sure where to start here, thank you.
@@blazb3596 must read the reader's edition of Jung's 'The Red Book' by Sonu Shamdasani if you're into the psycho-spiritual realm of Jung.
How is your profile picture doing that? It's like the picture is flowing when I scroll up and down.
Speak english
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
I stopped believing my parents knew better around the age of 20. I've learned not to trust anyone but my own ability to reason. We're all born into this world at some time of age without having a clue what we're doing or where we're going. It seems as if we leave this world the way we came - alone and confused.
Morgow "I've learned not to trust anyone but my own ability to reason."
My own opinion of myself isn't high enough for that. I think that would require a lot of hubris on my part, and quite an ego. Fortunately, I've found a friend or two who've earned my trust.
"It seems we leave this world as we came in--alone and confused."
I think that's way too broad a generalization. I know many people who've lived a happy life and died contented, surrounded by loved ones.
Far be it from me to judge, but right now, your worldview seems kind of cynical and tinted with bitterness. Which is understandable--life is hard, after all--but you shouldn't let whatever bad experiences you've had ruin your outlook on life or kill your capacity to trust. We can't always be right about everything or solve all our own problems; we need to be able to trust people we know and love\care for.
Just my two cents.
Metal Jacket, if you cannot trust your own ability to reason, then how can you trust someone else's? You only understand so much as what you see yourself. The point is to do your best to make sense out of a situation. The best way to do this is to educate yourself and learn how to write, do research and connect different events or theories.
It seems we leave this world as we came in--alone and confused.
"I think that's way too broad a generalization. I know many people who've lived a happy life and died contented, surrounded by loved ones."
Sure, but whether you die happy or contented, you won't remember it. People spend their last moments happy until they are either put down clinically or start to fade naturally through their sleep. Worst case scenario you die awake. I still remember when my cat died of old age while being awake doing so. The cat's body was stretched out as if she had cramps in her back. The cat was gasping a long time for air and made strange and uncomfortable movements with her legs. Dying is weird. During that cat's last moment she was completely unresponsive no matter how many loved owners were trying to comfort and connect with her. Whether you are surrounded by loved ones or not, all that goes away when your brain does. After that, nobody knows exactly where we go. Hopefully, people find god. Without faith in god, you cannot be happy with life or understand it, as we all have to die and believe we go somewhere. Nobody wants to die and let that be the end as if we never existed, with a dying brain that cannot remember anything.
"Far be it from me to judge, but right now, your worldview seems kind of cynical and tinted with bitterness."
I am not cynical. I just know that whatever this body is made of does not last forever and will cause you a lot of pain through life. This doesn't mean I don't believe there are good times too - I just don't believe reality is easy to understand and will require hard and painful efforts. Life is never as easy as you'd think it'd be or how you think it should be, and if it is, you have a poor understanding of reality. Nobody fully understands what reality is, though.
I would like to consider myself a realist, even though people may agree to this or not. I really don't care. What's important to me is that justice and life is served for everyone, and only god can give that fully. If you want to find life, Jesus will show you the way - nobody is more convincing than him - I believe him to be the only one you can fully trust.
***** Oh. I seem to have made a mistake.
You see, when I first read your post, I (mistakenly) assumed that I was reading yet another existential post from an *atheist,* with all the usual "the world is dark and terrible and you can't trust anyone" mantra.
But then I saw your very accurate sentiments about our Savior, and I realized that all you meant was that we shouldn't expect too much from this life and its imperfections, and that if death is the final ending, it's a bad one. You're quite right. My apologies for the misunderstanding.
I wish you well. Ciao.
you should always find people who are smarter than you to get advice from.
Metal Jacket, god bless you!
Its not a shame to live with your parents; its a shame to not grow up and to be able to take care of yourself both physically, financially, and mentally.
Exactly!! So many people don’t have it easy, and the parents make the situation a comparison/contrast of their experiences and expectations. The world has changed and they haven’t got the mental capacity to recognize the change!
Some parents make it impossible to do that though. Even if you assert boundaries, they'll just ignore all of them like they never existed
I'm going to have to watch this fucking Pinocchio Movie.
Stephan Ulm g
classic disney movie.
I think Walt Disney is a genius for this one. Is that who wrote this pinocchio
Watched this movie for the first time a couple weeks ago. Now one of my favorite movies of all time. You will tear up if you understand JBP's analysis of it. It's too real
Dub Yuh no it's an old Italian story, it's very frightening and violent the book, the movie is fairly disneyfied (though slightly frightening at points).
Kind of reassuring to see that i'm not the only one who feels like the need to move out to progress in life. It's scary, but i think it's so necessary.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
I’m 23 and my parents are about to move. They want me to come with them because they enjoy my presence and I help out a lot around home. Thing is, I make TH-cam videos for a living. It’s going pretty well, I’m making around 80k a year now and I’m so thankful I managed to turn a hobby into a small career while I go to school. I’ve been dying to get out and be independent. Just knowing I can get my own place and flip to the next chapter in life is exciting. You never know who you are until you test yourself.
If they are supportive about your career they should be supportive to let you on your own. Just discuss with them for the best.
wtf is that comment. You make 80k a year. Just do whatever the fuck you want, why even lose time typing this
Kudos to you
@@vitorpereira5461 it ain't much in some states
Im 33 and have never made more than 20k in a year and live at my parents house. I would give anything to get out of this situation. Please, go live your life. Don't waste another minute. 80K a year is enough to do literally whatever you want in life.
I just thought about how hard it's going to be for Jordan's son to do this because his father literally knows the secrets of the universe lol.
Tim Westchester True dat
Tim Westchester that fact is actually mindblowing it's like reverse. Jordan's son think: well I should do my own thing and explore and choose path. But hey my father knows everything maybe I can should ask him? The idea conflict could tear him apart
My son sussed me early on. Must have been 3 and nursing his first cup of milk without that little top to stop them spilling. 'Where we get milk?' he asked. 'We get milk from cows son'. He looked at me with a mixture of dismay and disgust and said: 'Don't be silly daddy' and walked off.
Philip Jones haha the dismay he must've felt when it turned out to be true
I imagine Peterson will kinda act as the final boss of life that his son has to out smart to gain his manhood
This went deep. This felt liberating. Thank you.
I'm heading to NYC alone for 4 months.... Goodluck to me
DesignbyChesa damn man that sounds like an adventure, how is it going?
DesignbyChesa you posted that 4 months ago... how is it here in this pile of garbage
@@ellona3645 are you dead?
@@leanhanleleanah6929 nop. I survived NYC & it was the best thing I ever did! It was crazy at times but my experience all in all was fantastic. Met so many new people but most importantly learned a lot about myself. Self-growth lol
It's so bad ass how he introduces the subject first and then closes the door...
Reminds me of mr. Hand
no big deal lah
Moved out at 23 but still emotionally and mentally attached to mom. Now I'm 31 and ready to pull back on communication and looking for her approval. I know intuitively that this step needs to be taken to have the courage to really build a life of my own. Idk why but I know this step is gonna bring deeper love into my life.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
How is it now?
Independence. Metaphorically, this is how individuals create. Independence breeds original ideas and an original human being, thus creating value in society. To become fully independent is the greatest symbol of growth.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
You can just as easily be dependent and creative. Take children for example.
The creativity of children doesn't yield much though, they don't have the resources to fully actualise what they're thinking. They can think of a drama, draw something, but they can't contribute to society with it. Until they're adults and go out on their own.
There's also the economic factor and convenience factor. These things tend to evolve to resemble rental agreements over time. The child just lives there, but stops asking for guidance.
Child?
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
What he's basically saying in a summary is that when you move into adulthood, you need to separate from your family eventually in order to be a real man.
Donavon Yep that's right but unfortunately no matter how much some people want to leave it can be impossible. Unless we save our money for ten or twenty years to be able to afford our own place.
That is a excuse that I am using. After getting injured. With tbi and body pain. That you need money. But before I had my own place. Where I was the king. That felt way better than now.
@@DaveSimkus Wtf are you talking about? Lmfao! "ten - twenty years to be able to afford our own place" .... bro...... does Anyone else feel me on that Bullshit comment rn?
But why does that need to happen? When I was 17, almost everyone basically considered me an adult. Your parents could always know about your life, but you shouldn't let them decide anything for you when you're an adult (I'd say at least 19, not 18). Letting them weigh in on your decisions is healthy, but you can agree or disagree. Okay maybe I just have very reasonable parents.
Does not need to literally seperating. I am an Indian and I can't leave my mother alone. That would probably kill her faster. She took care of me when I needed it. But, now its my turn. I consider it as a responsibility. My dad did the same with my grandparents though he was just one of their six children. And, lucky me I had the priviloge to gain wisdom from them. So, seperation is acceptable until the parents are together and healthy. But, they gave everything for us, its the least we could do for them at their end. And, one more thing putting them in old and homes is the worst thing. Because, they don't care about luxuries at that age. They want to spend every minute left with their loved ones. Its often misunderstood by people.
But what if your parents don't want you to become independent. What if they still want to dictate your direction and meaning in your life? This is my current issue.
th-cam.com/video/BTGhZZ-QkYo/w-d-xo.html Ascendant, this may relate to your question.
You educate them, then. With patience as if they were little children. But you do it.
Then take action and dictate your own direction.
Any progress?
Ascendant Depends on your temperament and theirs as to how you approach the break. If they have their own pathologies themselves, sometimes a "violent" break is the only way you'll gain your freedom needed (by which I mean moving out, blocking communication and assertive boundary setting for contact). If you and/or they are more mild-mannered, reasoning with them can be useful, up to a point. In my own experience, you should apply as much push away from them as is proportionate to their pull on you.
I’m currently 22 had everything provided for me and as I’m grateful for my parents I just get the feeling that I’m being held back and not given the opportunities to grow and become my own person.
I feel exactly the same. Doesn't matter how much they gave me and didn't asked me to work, noone wants to live inside a cage. I guess the solution of this problem is financial independence from parents
This really speaks to me because my father died when I was barely a teenager and since then I've always had no problem living on my own, having controversial opinions, doing what I want with my life, and all the responsibility that went with it. People older than me always remarked at how mature I seemed and I just said thanks and took it as a complement. However I always felt like my father dying had something to do with my maturation. Great video
CoolGuyAtlas ,, same here. I figured out the meaning of life at a very early age.
Always amazed me that many of my age mates never figured out what was easy for me to see.
CoolGuyAtlas how old were you when your father died if I may ask? I have the same thing as you only I did not lose my dad but have a few very scary near dead scenario’s.
It probably contributed to your maturity. I don't wish my father dead at all, but I wish they'd kicked me out at a certain point or something, or told me that they were going to and held it over my head. This is yet another piece of evidence shattering the whole "two parents are better than one" thing.
On the contrary , for me took a while . I wanted to believe my parents knewed what was better for me , i supressed a part of me that resisted the idea of not believing that until one day i realized that i was very unhappy about not having fully of my life.
I don't doubt that it did, thinking about it. I have not had to endure the same or similar life events as you, but it seems to me that times of tragedy can make you go one of two ways. I think you went the best way.
Going to school far away from my parents has been great for me thus far (almost done with my first semester). If anybody reads this who is considering making a similar move I would encourage it. You learn that you can make it on your own and you can take a lot more credit for your achievements. You also can't blame your tyrannical parents for your personal failures, which may hurt in the short run, but is healthy in the long run.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
I'm 22 years old still living with my parents. Up until now I have lived a very privileged life. Two very hard working parents and two brothers who love me very much. My dad is an army veteran who moved out at 17 to escape poverty. My mom-who also moved out at a young age-is a very hardworking woman who is very much loving as she is disciplined. I have come to understand that leaning on my parents for my entire life has givin me fear of the unknown. I'm scared of doing things that I have never done before. I tend to over think the simplest of things. For example if I have to drive to church which is like 15 minutes to my house I will take the same road that always take, but if one day the road is closed for what ever reason, I will come close to having an anxiety attack and regret every leaving my house. This is embarrassing for me to type because I know alot of dudes my age love going out with friends and shit but I'm an introvert and I mostly keep things to myself. I dont like to bother people unless it is absolutely necessary and I dont like trying new things. Anyways I know that as I am now i wont stand a chance in the real world, so I have been seriously thinking about enlisting in the military like my father did. If you have read my comment till this point I'm sorry for taking your time I just needed to vent my concerns.
go join military so they tear you a new ass and make a man out of you. you will realise life isn't as scary you thought unless you make mistake like marry or have kids with wrong women. I would youtube a channel called 'aaron clarey' he guides young guys to figure out themself. Binge watch his vids.
Thank you so much for sharing this! As someone who gets easily anxious, i feel you ona deep level! I've had this situation where I woulnd't be able to drive on my own because it freaked me out to have so much responsability as a driver (potentially being a risk to somebody else). What I realised was that to become more independent and more confidently in what my capacities are I have to build a trustworthy relationship with myself- it's like I don't trust myself enough and that's why I'm not confident in driving or doing anything by myself like adulting? the anxiety around it keeps me from growing and therefore from becoming more independent
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
@@AnaS-of8ri Im dealing with the same thing of driving rn! My mom made me lose my confidence in driving when I was a teen and now Im 19 having to get comfortable on the road again and learn to trust myself because she never made me feel like I could
How are you now? Regardless of answer, I wish you a good day.
I just turned 21 and this is exactly where I am now.
I'm straying away from the stable future that my mom envisioned for me and taking a leap towards an unstable but exciting future. Naturally, she's against it though.
I'm aware that she's only thinking what's best for me, but I have already made my decision and it's really hard cause I'm constantly attacked by waves of anxiety and the want to return to my comfort zone.
Regardless, I have no intention of turning back, and am gonna give my everything to resist that call of comfort. I still love my mom though.
I feel you on a spiritual level. The waves of anxiety especially at night 😭 my mother is so attached to me, and I’ve realized I try to get her approval in everything I do and it’s been making me miserable living like that. I’m ready to move on and start my own life, I want to learn how to not care about what she thinks of me anymore, I feel like she uses this as a tactic to hold me back living with her
Good that you still love her, but I think she was just trying to live her dreams through you, so cool to see u make your own path.
The part where he says you realise you’re an individual when you ask your parents about something and they don’t know what you should do more than you do... that’s me right now. I’m out smarting my parents, and they cannot help me going further. I want to move out so damn bad, but the housing crisis at the moment... I feel so stuck.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
At 26 and still living with my parents I was tought all of this without being able to express it. Thats why I made the decisions i have to, do my own laundry, make my own meals, etc, etc. So when I move out, which will be soon, I'll be more than prepared.
@Rubí Gomes no
Same. what happend
did you move out
Any updates??
He's right about learning your parents are figuring it out as they go along. It is a terrifying maturity birthing moment. It's also the beginning of a new stage of relationship with your mom and dad.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
Very true, it's also amusing to have reached this state but realise your parents practice the art of looking perfect to their children to gain "respect". So they'll never admit that and have constant proverbs and phrases about the wisdom of elders.
The more I realised the world was big and I didn't know much and we're all bumbling along (I realised first for me and peoole my age) then I started to look at older people with a slight suspicion. Especially the ones who try to use that view of "elders know best" to control you... They way they could at the age of 5 when you thought your parents/older folks were superman.
These kind of subjects need to be taught in every school, just like maths, physics and English.
This was sooo eye opening to me, i thought i was the only person feelings this way and i was feeling super guilty for not wanting to talk to my family cuz i needed to learn to be my own person.
at what age do u realize this?
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
You’re not the only one 😓
I want to live on my own very badly, but housing is very expensive here and I'm not able to get a proper job. I feel like it's a huge problem for my generation because we can't develop ourselves or grow into adulthood even if we were ready for it years ago. It's like living life being stuck in a waiting room and you're only getting older.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
Hi. why are you not able to get a proper job?
I take alot of my Mom's and Dads bad traits, some I'm aware of and some im not, I need to undo the damage they've done to me and become my own person
My Dad moved out of his parents house when he was 14.
I am 22, and i still live with my Dad. I am planning on moving out in 6 months, as i just graduated, and am looking for a job.
Times have certainly changed, back in the day, he could have easily gotten any job at age 14, while today, no one would hire a 14 year old, and my Dad would have probably been put to jail if i was out of the house by 14.
It's not as easy to move out of your parents house in the 21st century, at least not for someone who has college tuition, a minimum wage job, and other liabilities.
Back in the day, college was dirt cheap, today, a student can't afford most colleges on his own, without going into tens of thousands of dollars of debt. That's why many millennial are still living with their parents despite having passed the age of 18.
It's a different world now, the dynamics have changed, and those with willingness to achieve and persistence to work hard are the ones who succeed. The rest become employees.
A friend of mine moved out at 16. She learned to stand on her own two feet very quickly after a very hard upbringing. Any circumstance it tough, but perseverence eventually triumphs any intimate barrier.
Start to mediate my friend, look up the benefits here on TH-cam. It’s incredible
Well said
The "system" is now RIGGED
i never grew up with my dad being present much in my life, but it makes it harder for parents especially dad's who are the ones usually that teach/guides you how the real world really works and how brutal it can be also to shield you from nasty people taking advantage of you,when everything if always constantly changing at faster rate than it ever has before
“You have to cut parts of yourself off in a destructive manner to fit back into the person that you were.” That never hit so hard before...
When I moved out that’s when I started realizing who I was & that was the best thing I could have ever done
I am 36 and married and still with our parents. I am indeed the bread that's left too long on the shelf. I feel so fearful now with thoughts of parting away. They are 70 and yet I feel I am more dependent on them than other way around. I don't know if it's love or vulnerability that haunts me. Keep me in your prayers.🙏
God bless
You sound like a beta. Man tf up before your wife leaves you.
This man is helping me heal in ways I can never describe
He's right. I'm a caregiver for my aging parents. I went out into the world and learned vastly more than they did, and returned to find them on the brink of death from the consequences of their personality disorders. I'm a bachelor so I intervened because I could but they resent me for being smarter than them. If I had never gone away so long ago, I can't imagine what a nightmare this would be. They try to put me down but I've learned techniques to frustrate them. They've become like children and I've become like their father. It would be horrible if it was the other way around. This is a temporary intervention, and I'll move on soon, and I know that after I leave they'll backslide and die - so it's like I'll have to "kill" them, metaphorically speaking, to get back to my life, but I sorted myself out too, so it is what it is. That's life. I'm very fortunate that I'm me and not them or anyone else.
10 years ago I would have called you the devil himself. But I am in the same boat.
My parents haven’t changed one bit. I moved back with them. For personal retreat but little did I know. I was moving back for true torture. Every word, every action they have conjured have always been a chase move of a fool. I was blind when I moved away from them, and know that I see reality for what it is. I pity them, I look down on them, but thinking clearly, that’s what they had to do to survive in this. And they know what I’m capable of, lol they don’t cross that line. Survival mood at an all time high when I’m around. But I still love them
TheSwitch Jon Remember your past learn the lesson & move on.I can totally understand you.
That's very inspiring.
Thank you for the positive feedback. Here I am 3 years later after a perilous & profound cross-country drive a continent away from Philadelphia. Thanks to Dr. Peterson, Carl Jung, and a host of other informative writers, I survived the trip and have settled here for now & made myself useful. Never looked back.
Does that not feel lonely?
Dang this one hits home on so many levels...
Πως την παλεψες φιλε?
In an interview JP had he said "people often write to me saying that i just told them things they already knew but did not know how to say/articulate".
This, this is one of those, and it's eye opening.
Been living on my own since 17 years of age. I'm 21 now and not financially independent yet, I am now a business owner though and slowly working on becoming truly independent
Raymond awesome, best of luck!
good luck dude!
I think it came from the thought that our parents shielded for us for such a long period of time, so we are afraid to face the world in our own will.
Ryan Origin this and not being able to afford a place, living on your own is expensive!
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
its not a financial thing... its more like a deeply emotional attachement and existential crisis because my parents wont be here forever. pls someone tell me that im not alone. pls give me advice i dont wanna get married but i dont wanna end up alone in the deep void of life
Your not alone.. i'm just like you
Yes
Exacly
same
You're not alone
I didnt have a spectacular relationship with my parents until I moved out of the house when I was 23. Now, my relationship with my mother and father is so much more meaningful. Im 33 years old and I am getting ready to move out of the state...its the next step in life. Move on.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
A subtle way of telling millennials to move out...
Misha Ivanov
Bunch of 30 year olds still living with their parents smh. I moved out 12 years ago and they haven't gone anywhere. It amazes me how many just don't want to take that step and find any excuse to not move out. Oh I can't find a great paying job...... Well your not going to until you have work experience. Oh I am waiting to finish school....... It has been 12 years, how long could your degree possibly take. They are missing out on learning to be self sufficient and sadly many are not going to move out until they get married. So they go from parents home straight to marriage. That gives one little to no time to figure their life out for themself and not being accountable to anyone.
Isaac Spencer people like this dont want to be independent. They desire to be taken care of always by someone. They're leaches and cowards. My personal opinion is derived from specific observation. I could be wrong and im okay with being wrong. However this is what i see. And its grose!
faro0485...you make a fair counterpoint!!
Pretty much moving out=killing your parents (which if you're Filipino, that's basically how your mom sees it lol).
But to another extent, you're also kind of killing _yourself_: You kill your parents as the ultimate authority over your life when you become independent, but you also kill the son/daughter that you were so that you can be reborn as a man or a woman who can eventually become father or mother to another, and the cycle goes on.
faro0485 THANK YOU, SOMEONE WHO GETS IT
22 and finallly found my first rental apartment in the city i live in, moving out in three weeks
m h I know this was a year ago comment but anyways thats awesome that you moved out by now. Best of luck!!👍
cleaning my room as I'm listening to this
Theres financial independence and there's emotional independence. The second is truly important to separate yourself from that child-parent relationship which I believe holds you back from developing properly into an adult. I chose to live at home 3 years ago to help with lower rent, and it took a longggg time for my parent to learn that I was no longer their child they have authority over. I was a lodger with my own life, finances and routines. Our relationship was strained, until they learnt to slowly accept that. I'm moving out soon and my parent is very saddened, but I feel it will benefit our relationship and shift the dependency dynamic that they have with me. This lecture couldn't be anymore true though in terms of adult relationships with parents.
These lectures are worth tens of thousands of dollars in therapy. Cannot believe they're available to us all for FREE. God bless you, JP. God bless you.
Doesn't this all have more to do with money? I'm sure most people would be long gone away from their parents if it was easy to monetise something that you're good at. It isn't always.
That is simply my issue. Bachelors degree couldn't find a job. Decided to get my Masters and see where it takes me. Been lopking for jobs outside of where I live. It's working for me. But, I planned on moving out when I was 22...not enough money. I'm barely 25 and searching to get away from my parents ASAP. Loans + low wage job. It something that needs to be planned. I plan on moving out this year. Money is my sole reason.
Alister Dante I hope you're doing well. I know what you mean about just doing anything. None of us want to do something that drains us when we have that thing that thrills us right at our fingertips. It's hard to balance the external have-tos (food, shelter) with the internal have-tos (passions). I encourage you to see the value in yourself and not to give up. You *are* going to make it.
Please watch this video. I'm rooting for you, bucko.
www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DqmKtyeQ9Ikk&ved=2ahUKEwirhMb6mq3eAhUKTawKHVFsDJ4QjjgwAXoECAgQAQ&usg=AOvVaw0Op9KQTyjZI02l2xHqE0QU
Just because someone is living with their parents doesn't mean, they can't grow up and be responsible. As long as they don't act like children and let their parents serve them. For example, if someone is taking care of their old parent(s), it is a lot of responsibility and a child couldn't do that.
The socio-economic and familial support system doesn't always let you understand what's best for you. And our upbringing is flawed too. So, either you get to know (what's best for you) too late or you just never get it, stuck in a loop repeating the same set of mistakes your parents did in a different time-space and fight and become frustrated with the futility of it all, never realising what went wrong in the first place.
Brilliant comment. Totally agree
My family has moved away from me twice. First at age 11 and now again at age 22. The sad reality is that your family only wants you near to them for selfish reasons. Not to help you, but for you to help them. The pain and agony I’ve gone through watching my family leave, is very heavy and long lasting. No matter how much love there is between you and your family, you have to put yourself ahead of them. You never know what someone else is thinking and chances are they ARE NOT thinking the same way as you. I would do anything to live near my parents and siblings. But they don’t feel the same way. Am I supposed to put my life desires aside to chase a feeling I have? Logic > Emotion
I moved out at 23 at a different country to work and the first days were really hard , it hit me leaving the comfort of my parents house and I just missed my siblings, other then that it was the best decision in my life , ps there is nothing more fun then buying things you love with you hard earned money.
Where do you live?
Move from where to where ¿?
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
I had to break myself from my dad's stronghold. Even when I would spend my own money on a vehicle, I felt obligated to present it to my dad for his approval. A few years ago we had a falling out. That broke me. I haven't needed his money in over a decade, and now I don't need his approval either. I see him regularly, but don't put near the weight in his opinion as I once did.
The god image of our parents... well said. In recent years after so long of believing my parents were these great people who did no wrong, were genuinely good people devastated me by displaying that they're actually not in ways nothing short of betrayal. Some day... I'm going to be away from my parents generally speaking and be far happier. Look forward to it.
This seems more true for Western Society. I'm from Brazil and it's quite natural for families to stick together and live under the same roof; even when the son/daughter gets married, they can naturally live with parents, grandparents, etc. It's what I would describe as a community family. Maybe one of the reasons the West has nourished this idea of the "independent children" is that individual freedom is valued over familial bond and obligation; it seems shameful in America to be older than 18 and live with your parents. It does not make you weak to stay with your family. Like anything, it's a choice. Not imperative to leave to "become a man or woman." i.e. the "death" of the parent can be symbolic.
Community living and community expenses have sooooo many advantages. No loneliness. Old are taken care of in their own home they built by ppl they love and young gain wisdom n are taken care of by them. Free baby sitters and doulas and guides etc for life. Good for the pocket too as you save money on housing , bills, appliances. That money saved can be put to use kids edu or a dream vacation or an early retirement or a financial cushion in between unexpected emergencies or lay off or covid.
This is quite common across Europe too.
@@clublulu399 And in Asia too. Only America is so anti family. Hence u see a breakdown of society and high depression, loneliness and drug use to cope.
@@melissafeds1344 tbh i see nothing wrong, ok you are over 20, you live with your parents, but you also work everyday, you bring foot to the table this is alot better no?
@@cautarepvp2079 Yes. You become less selfish and more responsible and mature.
Not even a week ago i had an argument with my mom that profoundly shocked me because i realized that the relationship i had with my mom when i was young is completly gone. Despite so many hints that i have ignored now i see that i should stop trying to avoid facing the reality that she has changed, like me. It hurts to see that what suppose to be your "home" isn't anymore and from now on you need to create your own.
People do grow up and relationships do change. The relationship you have with your mom isn't gone, it has only changed. Yes, those growing pains may hurt, and it may be difficult to spread your wings and fly. Seek to be a woman of virtue. Do not compromise on this principle. Re-dig the old wells, and rediscover the faith of your ancestors. Such traditions can provide the wind for your wings, so you can fly like an eagle in a world with a bunch of turkeys. Perhaps it may do you good to visit your father or grandfather.
Want to know how I became independent from my mum? Moved out and started earning minimum wage. Wasn't a big leap for me because I was raised on minimum wage, lol.
Haha
Nice.
No thx
I know what he's talking about at 4:15 . Being a final year undergrad kid, I had to make major major career decisions that involved closing off of some doors when selecting some others. And when my Dad, whom I've looked up to all my life, was as clueless as me about it, I was loosing my mind. The absence of confidence in his advice had me pulling my hair, unable to decide what to do. It's not like I'm an ideal obedient kid, but not knowing your Dad's solid opinion on an important decision is really tough to deal with
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
Been depressed and unable to do things for 3 days. This instantly makes sense and changes things. There is no fucking price for wisdom...
it may be worse when your parents are good and loving. When they're terrible and hateful, it's easy to at least blame them and you dont have as mixed emotions (generally). i am unable to move out, and im still feeling like a child, especially living with my teen younger brother. but my mom is the literal best, she gets that im an adult and she does everything to make sure we have what we need and want within her power.
It's just her presence and I cannot blame her for that. i am very very lucky to have her and im forever grateful, but I am unable to grow. and that feels almost physically painful. I can't wear what I want, go where I want, say what I want. not becayse she makes me, but because i respect her so much i dont want to subject her to that. I want solitude, aloneness, some sort of independence to finally be who i really am and show the ugly sides of me. it hurts
I'm starting to think he's got a little crush on Jung
The pages in JP's copy of Jung's Symbols of Transformation are all stuck together from all the times he jizzed all over it
I wouldn't say little.
No. Pinocchio.
Who doesn't..
🤣🤣🤣
The trying to go back but cant is what I fell in to for a year...I learned that my parents idea of a safe stable life is not a good way to get ahead or become financially independent...it created so much anxiety that I fell dormant. Now that Im climbing back out, the anxiety is back, but I need to use it to march forward and create something. Really interesting to see it described from this perspective.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
I want every Asian man and parents to listen to this. They refuse to let go of their children and the child soon gets dependent on them and lets them dictate every relationship they have.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
Wow...
That's not necessarily true. It's a choice.
Nope
True
I love that you commented this it’s a terrible problem in Asia
I will become independent from my parents one day. I wish to be strong on my own one day.
Four months later I wonder if you've done it yet. I suspect you haven't. We shouldn't say 'one day' because its too abstract; in a sense, you could say it lacks commitment. Make a real promise to yourself. Write it down. What are you going to do, specifically?
Not one day. Day one.
@@lanceleader163 booya man. Where did you get that one?
Earlier this year I had to acknowledge to my daughter that she had gotten further in her calculus studies than I ever did. It was a striking moment for both of us. Simultaneously sad and joyful to see her beginning to stride ahead and forge her own path. It is the ultimate mark of success as a parent - to make ourselves superfluous.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
I graduate this semester. Tryna move out and live my own life
TheLAW howd it go
Please give us an update!
He starved to death
100% didnt move out lol
Why is moving out so hard for this generation? I'm genuinely curious.
I just graduated college & back at my parents. Sucks so much. Moving out by the end of 2020. It gets worse the longer you wait to move out...thats what i have realized. Also, stunts your growth & confidence to be independent real quick.👊 Goodluck peeps!
I didn’t leave home till I was married at 27 with 40,000.00 in the bank so that wasn’t irresponsible. Parents home can be your platform or your springboard but either way you can grow up and become responsible and eventually you look after them.
Good for you man! I’m 27 and single with -1000 in the bank!
16 dead
I've noticed that me having no father figure in my life, drives me to learn as much as I can from many great men because 1) I'm constantly looking for a father figure (I tend to get emotionally attached towards guys like Jordan Peterson, I've had many idols in my life, all have been great men I've never met in my life.) 2) I'm constantly looking up what Jordan Peterson has to say about things because.... I'm afraid of my dad (JP but obviously symbolically) not knowing, and me not knowing, and it scares the hell out of me to not be prepared for life. Wanted to post this in case it was an eye opener for anyone.
This man is so reasonable and also so polite and so civil; how could someone could ever be so dumb as to think he's spreading hate?
I have always felt so alone in the way i think, but Jordan Peterson makes me feel like im not crazy.
Finally! He's started saying "phenomenon" for the singular!
In Latin, on words ending in "um" you firm the plural with a final A.
Example:1 curriculum, 2 curricula.
So when he means what he says.
@@pilarquiroz3585 You're not wrong but that doesn't concern the word phenomenon at all. Phenomenon comes from Greek, and the plural is phenomena (likewise for, let's say, criterion/criteria. Probably others out there but none immediately spring to mind).
Ugh! His words really hit home with me. I've moved around a lot on my own and have held a lot of jobs but I've never felt overly content. In one way or another, I always found myself coming back to live with my Mom for short periods of time. Now I'm at the point where I understand this will be the last time. We are completely different people with different dreams and desires. Part of me I think has been searching/hoping for our relationship to shift in a direction, that I now understand, will likely never come to pass. She is content with the way she lives her life even though I wish it were different, both for her sake and my own. I can't change her and she can't change me. I'm my biggest advocate for myself and I'm just going to have to own it.
In my 50s and listening to this for the first time, so much insight.
Everytime I listen to this , it's as if it was for the first time , I always learn something new .Wisdom never ages ♥️
Im seventeen, sometimes i feel my parents are childish, they get things personal, get mad easy and also figth a lot because of mom trying to feel the best in the house, i try to help by buying food when there is not but it seems to make it worse because my moms thinks i am doing more than my dad only because i buy breakfast, i feel their relationship is going down and i certainly dont know what to do, im thinking in just getting slowly out of their way.
My parents told me, straight up, "You have to realize that we're going to die some day, and the house is NOT going to you, so what are you going to do after we die?" I was shocked but it made me realize they're dicks and I have to start only caring about myself. As selfish as that sounds they actually motivated me to be completely independent. I still love them tho.
Or the house _is_ going to you and they're purposely telling you otherwise to avoid spoiling you. Either way, smart parents!
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
You're a fucking idiot. Dicks?? Your parents did you a favour. You should be kissing their ass for giving you a taste of reality..
I was thinking about it from last few days. This idea of when to ascertain that you parents can no more be a guiding light to you. It scares you in the first place, but then you do learn from your mistakes. And ultimately it gives you that freedom where you can fully manifest your personality.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
At one point in my life I realized that my parents aren't omniscient, that they aren't god. This understanding destroyed my foundation on which my life was build on. Suddenly I felt a feeling of freedom, but also fear.
This is a very important step in life if you want to grow personally. And never forget, everyone eventually dies alone
I wish I had had a teacher like him. This classroom reminds me of when I was in school
Yes that's super powerful when he mentions the realization of your parents not knowing more than you. I found that to be very true in separating myself from my parents and realizing they are just people themselves too.
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
I'm in this gradual independence transition with myself (still living with my parents), and it just hurts you know. I don't know, I just feel alone in this. I feel like I'm letting go of my support and I'm being more distant from my parents and there's a pain there. It's like I'm ripping myself out of home but it also doesn't feel like home anymore either. I don't know. I used to think independence means moving out but for me it seems to make sense to start it within, and it just hurts. I feel confused and lost and I'm on my own and it suddenly feels very real. And my parents are starting to seem like people to me rather than parents. There's pain. But also undeniable growing freedom.
I'm in a weird situation tbh: I'm 31, BA, MA, and some work experience, I just managed to get rid of my student debt (I'm from EU but some private schools/universities are quite expensive), so that's good, but I've been living with my parents for years because paying a rent where I live, with my salary, was just not possible. Turns out they're both retiring, moving out to a new home they just bought, and I'm keeping the appartment, which is really ideal since I don't have to pay a rent or anything and I'm going to be on my own but...at the same time, I feel like I'm cheating when so many people are struggling out there. I feel guilty about not having to go through the same hardships.
Are you joking? People would kill for this kind of deal. Most people don't even have the ressources to get a bachelor's degree, not to mention a master's degree, and have to pay for a shitty appartment. Enjoy my friend.
I understand you
You don’t have to feel guilty. You had beneficial circumstances and it worked out for you. Just be the best person you can be and continue to succeed.
If your parents are still renting the apartment, then I see why you would feel guilty. But, if your family OWNS the apartment, then there’s nothing to be ashamed of man. This is something that your parents worked for and to provide you with. Maybe, this’ll allow you or even push you to work just as hard to do the same for your children. Take advantage of it!
Wish you and your family the best :)
I’m 50 years of age and caring for both of my elderly parents, who even were divorced at some point.
Ahhh fuck, I'm stale bread.
Put yourself in the fridge, you'll be fine :)
At least you're not moldy bread.
Joined the army at 18, 19 in ranger school and in Afghanistan at age 20,21,22,23. Got out and now looking st my friends who went to college, it feels like they just haven't matured. Their parents still treat them like high schoolers and they act like it. It's strange, but makes me glad about the path I took. Being on my own now in college, married proving for ourselves away from the roof of our parents.
Everything clicked for me when he said that Jung said that the death of one's father can take place symbolically. Excellent lecture.
This just confirmed that I'm not crazy. Im glad that I've witnessed this so called metaphorical death of my parents, and yes it is scary. But at least I know who I am now, and that I'm ready to fend for myself.
I went to live independent at the age of 23, but had to come back home one year later because of a depression, I tried again at 26 and I managed well for 2 years and a half, but I don't know how I came back home again, and here I am, stuck. It is like there is something in me that always make me come home even if after I profoundly regret the decision. I hope next time I will get independent will be forever.
I really needed to hear this. COVID expediated this process for me and it was really shocking. I went from being really close with my family and depending on them for emotional support to not being able to get real support from them for 3 years. It was really shocking and I’m sort of stuck as that young woman who needs them when in reality I’m independent now. That cognitive gap is a source of so much pain. The young woman who was so suddenly cut off is still hurting, although it is a natural process that would have happened gradually anyway. And I’m so happy! In those years away from my family I met the love of my life, settled down, got a job I love. Why is it so hard to let go?
This is such a difference in cultural values. Westerners are so individualistic. In most of the world families stay together forever and I don't think it makes their adult children any less. Parents in the West are so desperate to get their children out of their house yet once they get old all of a sudden want them to give up their lives and take care of them. It's so odd. Here, we just always stay with them and make them apart of our lives.
I'm 28, still unemployed, living with my parents.
It's not that I don't want to move out, it's just that I can't move out unless I get a job.
It is embarrassing but they won't allow me to move out unless I get a job. It is in the Asian culture ( it means entire Asia, not just China,Japan)
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html
Moreover, it’s worse if they don’t stop trying to control what job you do and worse is study instead of work. However ultimately you’ve to stand up for what feel good about.
Do it
Im 30 still dealing with this
dude, i can't get enough of this guy. this teacher, who cares dearly about what he teaching, and cares even more so for the people he is teaching, picks up on someone who probably missed what he just said 4:39 on the other side of the room 4:01 (probably by posture/facial expression), and carefully restates the exact same point with new words so that one person doesn't miss what he sent. seamlessly. holy shit.
What an honor it would be to be taught in a lecture hall by this man
I think it's a little more complicated. I will always value my parent's and grandparents opinion over any other outside force. They're older, wiser, and my grandfather is like the unofficial patriarch of the family - of course I'm going to heed his advice and wisdom. One day that will be me (hopefully) in a family - leading it. I'm going to university on my own, and have vastly different opinions on the world than my parents, but it should be every child's duty to cultivate what their parent's taught them, respect them, and heed their advice IF you live in a structured and traditional family.
I think that what we learn as children from our parents is a model that works well enough, and that's why we need to listen to our parents when we grow up, but then we go out into the world and try out different models, some of which may be better. When I have children I want to give them what I've learnt works so they can draw on it, but they will have to find out what works for them - but they have a model that works to fall back on, if that makes sense. So I relate to what you're saying, I think. They do have more experience than me so I may as well listen to them and draw from their experience.
Great comment
Very well put. Every college student needs to watch this.
i'm 23 years old and i'm moving out tomorrow 🎉
how are you doing now?
@@pick2206 i'm doing great! they visit me every month ❤ im already making money on my own now. thanks for asking! :) how are you?
@@ysadeligerodo you have any suggestions? I’m 22 graduate student from college now was struggling with financial issues, but I want to be on my feet this year
I had to pause this talk numerous times just so i could take in everything that he says. It's really deep, and i thank him for every bite sized revelation that i had.
Min 4:16 this happened to me as I grew. It was about 32 years old when I realized my mother was way behind and that she was no longer someone I cared for opinions. I made so many decisions while living with her in my teens and 20's, that when I looked back at 30 years old I realized she could no longer ahow me any paths
To be honest, this is where I am at 44. I love my mother but I'm not a momma's boy. I stayed with my mother for years because of a promise that I made to my older sibling. Tie in being comfortable, financial issues in my early 20's and 30's, and a broken marriage and I'm fighting to break free. I'll be purchasing a home in which my mother will be moving in with me and my wife. My wife is the Queen, period. While my mother is 82 and I respect her, we are just night and day now. I truly don't respect her opinions or listen to them. My struggle is keeping a level of respect and honoring my parent while doing my own thing and living my own life. The struggle is real...
Your parents may just want you to be like the next kid or go to university whatever and study the same thing just because it worked out for them. You’re a completely different person on your own path don’t let them control your life choices. Trust your gut feeling. Anyway I just made a vid on all this and went in deep stay blessed it’s a blind issue, link here, 🙏th-cam.com/video/bPJQb4k3Wwg/w-d-xo.html