Thank you so much Lynn for allowing me the opportunity to tell my story ♥️ It's NOT about spreading hate towards my parents, it's to show the repercussions of raising kids in a broken home. Unfortunately, the "mtaachana tu" thing happens a lot more today. So if you find yourself as the present parent, don't let the bitterness of it stop you from giving your shudren 1000% of your love. Together? 😊
"Parents should normalize apologizing to their kids". This is my punchline from the conversation. There are wounds that only apology can heal. Much love to you Abigail.
It is a complex situation to unpack. Usually, the parent that stays is judged harshly. You are left with the role of being disciplinarian, caretaker, nurse, emotional support, provision, etc. So when you fall short on any of these, the kids may not understand the human side that sometimes things may not work and that the present parent also has struggles of their own. The absentee parent enjoys the praise of being the loving parent who plays a victim of the situation sometimes. All in all, both parents and kids from broken homes need a lot of support.
Life have taught me a lot... I've come to understand that there's always a solution to problems. Five years ago, my wife and I were close to divorcing because of issues in our marriage, but we found a way to fix them. It was tough, but we survived.
Releasing someone you love is always a daunting task, but in my situation, I had the support of a spiritual advisor who prevented the disintegration of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
Lynn your guest described my entire childhood! My mom is now 87 years old. I brought her to America and I experienced the same resentment and rejection from her. I prayed to God, cried and in the end I realized I cannot make anyone love me. The Bible verse says, can a woman's tender care cease toward the child she bore, yes she can, yet will Father God remember me. Sister, look only to God he is your mother and father.
@faithrehema4767 only if the parties accept the other's pain as legitimate and agree to healing and actively work on it. Not only in words but also in being active toward healing that brokenness and trauma. When the going gets tough, forgive and learn how to move forward as humble servants toward each other. My mother is a narcissist and only thinks about her pain. Only her story matters in her eyes to this day. It's always been that way, her way of release when we were children is the curse us, especially me, she beat me in the most cruel way and finally she purposely pitted us kids against each other. Even toward we don't get on. The wound is too deep. The only path to healing is inward. Work on yourself and give back compassion and love to those who are able to receive it. I don't was my love anymore in infertile soil or places that won't reap. I am still working on being all that God has designed me to be before I entered my mother's womb. May God grant each of us broken birds, peace, and healing so we can fly again 🙏🏽
I empathize with Abigael and pray for her to complete her degree and her, daughter and brother's life to improve. But I also feel most likely she could be depressed and if not addressed she may spend her life blaming her mother for everything that does not work in her life.
I thought am the only person wondering how my mum used to mistreat me kumbe kuna ushuhuda hadi huku kwa lynn😢may God heal us and change our mumies mentality.
Tuko wengi guys despite vile alinitesa on my childhood hadi alishidwa kunilipia shule na kunipea food I still took care of her nikiwa job paid for her hospital bills until her demise ...I did all this because I wanted to brake the chains otherwise she never deserved my care
Am that dude kid who mum never be there for me,even my siblings used to hate me,but now God changed my story, am one of the gal that has made it not so much but the small God has given me is a big achievement,Tegemeeni Mungu,ni baba ya wasio na baba,ni WA yatima,waliotupwa,and trust me God is making ways
😮 I feel though God pours a special blessings on those without parent or parent who mistreat them. If they let go of the bitterness n let God guide them.
I am a mother who has undergone divorce.. but my priorities in life is my connection with God ,my sanity and my kids . The last thing I will not do is to bleed on my kids . Infact the separation has made us even closer.
this is me too i am asking God To make me whole too. i have read that what afects kids most is not the absence of a dad, but the stability and the happines of the mother. our left us early and we grew with lots of pain but i will never allow my kids to miss me even for a day ,my praye to God is to keep me heal and make me enjoy my lovely kids . AMEN
Lynn how are you? Can you please organise to interview the mother too? It would be nice to listen to both sides of this story. Wishing all of then quickest healing.
As far as the kid lacks that father's part occupational, no matter the expensive extravagant life you can give to them, the unoccupied part will always display and affect their lives negatively whether you like it or not, many bitter single mothers shall never allow this fact to sink and Will rather live in denial.
@@martinjacobtv9864 you are out of topic my friend,read in between the lines and understand my point,kuna mahali umeona mimi nikisema father is not important?wewee,elewa vitu,and we are not bitter,we dont force things,sawa
We should normalize talking of parental hurt.... whether mother or father...They mess children up...I wish this girl healing and I want to tell her you are enough and you will and already have overcome...love and hugs Abby
We need to talk about parents hut so that others will not repeat the same mistakes. My dear what I want to say forgive your mum yourself, and find purpose for your pain
Forget about it . Men only provide when they can still have s*x with the mother. A good example is just a normal family ,once they are not in good terms. Most will not even provide properly . Now imagine if they separate. "What I'm I gaining in return "is the answer
There is so much to learn here. These Gen Z kids are not ready for life. Woi. I hope this is an outlier. We were never cuddled, we were beaten and we became tough, gen z is another breed. Parents we need to wake up.
Our generation was the one to be beaten, their generation is the one to be cuddled. Times change and we have to embrace change, same way we stopped using typewriter to computers.
It hurts. This girl talked about the Dad who abandoned them with a smile and does not extend grace to the mum who fed her and provided a roof over her despite her own struggles and hurt
You reckon the dad was offering his last 30 bob when she took the divorce letters, demonstrating love, but mom has been indifferent. The father is an alcoholic, he is sick... the mom is working and there is no evidence on what she does with her money.... These wounds are deep.
Literally my thoughts..the mom was emotionally unavailable for her and provided no love unlike the dad who had nothing but still loved the daughter@@emilyindumwa2710
It really hurts Aki may God help that mum to be strong.this lady is sooo ungrateful.she was rebellious and even run away after being left at her grandmother.her mum was protecting her but she thinks it was being controlled
It's not only about what someone does for you. It's mostly about how that person makes you feel. If someone gives you USD1million but throws it at you and insults you along the way, will u receive it well? Some of you with your pride would even allow it pass you by. She is more understanding of her dad because he made her feel loved. I'm not saying she shouldn't forgive her mum or that she wasn't also a problem child maybe but how you make someone feel matters.
I am a single mum. My marriage ended in 2022 Dec and life has not been easy. Being brought up without a mum and by a step mum i understand childhood trauma quite well. My marriage ending was not such an easy thing. I am still in the process of healing. Watching this interview gives me more reasons to heal and not project my frustrations to my children. I choose to heal because life must move on. Lets break the cycle
This woman was trouble some .she feels entitled her mom did the best for her. Took her to school, looked for equity scholarship the mom was strong do judge the mom
@amimaowen9659 I agree with you. Mom anauza vegetables na anata apewe everything whenever she asks. If the mom doesn't have... anafaa a hustle harder. Baba yake kama hana nisawa. Why the double standard. Ako na victim mentality. No accountability for the parts she played.
She needs therapy to help her understand some basics: 1. Both parents failed her, not just her mom. 2. We are under our parents compulsory care until we are 18. Any support past that is grace extended to us. 3. Forgiveness is for self. She'll be taught to let go of her pain and live freely. 4. She needs to also take responsibility for her actions that contributed to some incidences.
All that happened to her, did while she was still a child,even if she goes to therapy she will always feel the same way as long as her mom keeps treating her the same way she did from when the dad left. Main reason for her actions till date are coz everything started off while she was just a kid. If she was much older it would be different.
Her Dad failed her the most and her mum did her best paid primary school provided her basic needs foof, shelter, clothing.took her to campus paid .but she was not ready to stay with her aunt and she got pregnant.its not her mum's fault she should have studied to be better.your mum had alot of stress raised 2 kids alone is not easy.hope u don't luck and your daughter takes it against you I pray that day won't come for hurting your mum like this
You are right Lynn. Gen -Z children are a reflection of what we did right or wrong. They are not the problem. The older generation should recognise their faults
Being a mother will open your eyes greatly to your parents’ abuse. When I became a mother, I couldn’t even imagine punishing my child the way that I’d been “disciplined”. Imagine punishing a 3 year old baby like that hmmm 😢.. never never. And it’s so sad realizing how much of your childhood you lost 😞 but if you’re willing to take the journey to heal, you make sure you become a wonderful parent -leading and guiding your kids into a beautiful life to break those generational traumas/curses. They claimed it was discipline but it was really abuse. Physical, Emotional, Psychological. And it triggers you so much sometimes especially when you start comparing yourself…but! May God continue healing us and restoring us to becoming better parents and spouses. 🙏🏾💛💛
The fact that she understands her dad lacked money that why he couldn't chip in,but she's so mad when the mother supports only where she could is soois insane 💔 it's Tough For Mothers!
Mothers need to be supportive ata kama sio pesa words of affirmation and encouragement. Just throwing words and showing lots of i do not care isnt fair. Positive words helps one negotiate through life
We can all judge the mother how we want but the mother tried her best only that she was strict and never allowed the daughter to do things her way…and probably she compared herself with other children in school she forgot to see the efforts her mum put in being a mama mboga . Being a Gen Z I don’t blame her they are exposed to so much at a young age and probably she will understand everything as she grows up . Unless we hear the mom’s side but that girl is the problem.
She has a lot of grace for the dad because he never mistreated her or made her feel unworthy even though he left. Love triumphs over money/ things. I’ve heard so many stories where children have more grace for the parent that left than the one who stayed. The father’s side of the family also seemed to help her where they could.
The mother later got a better job and still doesn't support even the brother who is diabetic .the parent that stayed should always step up no matter what I grew up with a single mum(divorced) and she stepped up she never made us made us feel guilty of helping us she sheilded us from what she was going through
As a millennial single mother raising a daughter,all i can say they are making things so difficult, you do everything right according to your knowledge/capabilites but they want things on their own ways.They don't want the truth about consequences of life choices,mimi msichana akiamua kufanya vile anafikiria bila kuona me as a mother chenye anapitia achange path yake,nitamuacha dunia imfunze,wacha aniite toxic
I agree with you totally am also like Abigial ,I didn't want to listen to my mother now am a single mom too we kids are making the life of these single parents difficult .....Abigail was notorious period
As a single mum i know the choices one makes and ends up regretting for the rest of their lives...i tell my girl to be careful now that she is a teenager, am very realistic with her...but asipo niskiza shaurize
Ohhhhh God this girl has suffered, yet she stayed strong and I know her mother might be going through her own difficulties but these children don't deserve to be penalized for our own wrong choices as parents. I am a single mother, divorced and unsupported but my children are everything I have and I have protected, loved them despite the brokenness. Parents please please try harder. Remember you brought this child to life, whatever you go through, hold your children to the chest.
I feel bad for the mother, she seemed like a loving mum but was also going through her hurt. Abigail seems to have excused the dad but not mum. There is no time she ever says anything positive about mum. She also did have quite good chances but made poor decisions. Both mum and daughter are hurt, both need professional therapy. I hope their relationship is mended
Steve Harvey said a quote he once heard, "you can live without your mother and father, but you can't live without a FRIEND". God bless you KaGrace ❤️❤️
So many people mention the Equity Wings to Fly program as being so instrumental in their life journey. Amazing work to the people at Equity in charge of it👏🏽
I think it's because she lived with the mother for the longest time when she was young and she developed negative altitude towards her because of beating her
Is the mother putting effort to be understood. The girl child didn’t choose to be borne of her mother. Her mother chose to bring her to the world. This her responsibility to protect and shield her child.
Kaweka positive sana kwa mama ..japo kuwa yuko na makosa ya kuwaambia si jukumu lake kuwalea alikua anatoa hasira zake kwa watoto na mara nyengine ni depression kwani si rahisi kulea watoto peke yako...na amejitahid kuhakikisha hawalali njaa na fee analipa ..vipi utasema hakupendi ..ni kumuelewa tu na warekebishe walipokosea na story isikilizwe upande wa pili..
This is so important. Plus take the time to process the pain, in order to heal properly. It's never easy but one can do it with the right therapy and support system in place.
I thought so toooo why blame your mum for your own actions?? U clearly made bad decisions.your mum provided basic needs your Dad Olso always said Hana why only say your mum.but still even after your mum tells u Hana she still found a way to get the money.she gave u 7k and u got a 6 k house.u got pregnant dropped out of school.your mum was broken she expected you to be better.
So the alcoholic dad isnt the source of your trauma, no dad issues bt mama akikosa pesa anaulizwa alikua anafanya nini the four years ulikua highschool? Choices have consequences.. The mother that is taking loans to take you to uni.
My mum was a single mum. The most challenging person to live with is a single mum who was divorced. Most are either very bitter, or neglect the kids. I agree with Yu Wambui.divorce is not good.the kids suffer most.
Listening to you as a single mum has light bulb going on in my head .a culture of parents talking to your kids finding out how they really are is more than important
This child😮 I think she had her own issues which she project on the mom. I basically went through what she went through. My pocket money( helb) ndio nililipia fees whole time. I never projected it on my period. The moment you know life is yours, masimo ni yako, destiny ni yako you stop projecting and own your life n your destiny
Her mom was married at 19 she was hardly a mentally mature adult and then divorced but I’m not excusing her, she was wrong for everything but this child has already experienced the unreliability of her mum,why does she continuously expect so much from her?
She needs own up her life, get emotional wisdom and own her life. Expecting anything from the world is defeatist. Just love yourself and give no space for negative people into your life
And she had enough chances which she blew up, 30k from Equity, 7k from her mom, support however small from her dad, etc And why would she be more concerned about her dad more than her mom. That's insulting
I cried with her the entire interview 😢 my mom has been always there for me including taking care of my baby while I was in campus I can't thank her enough
Didn’t she face the same challenge too when she couldn’t afford baby clothes when pregnant? It was her responsibility too as a parent so why can’t she offer the same grace to her mom? And someone studying under Wings To Fly scholarship surely understands that she comes from a needy family….
Weeeee, this is so heavy.I have cried the entire session I can only wish that history doesn't repeat itself. The father was never there so is the baby dady. I pray that you get a therapist so that you dont bleed on your child. These things happen unconsciously. You only need a small trigger and wond Ariah. An emotionally stable mum will raise a stable daughter. Girl you are so brilliant: Very articulate and eloquent. Hugs baby girl.
Parents go through so much and they do not share with the kids . We call it shielding them but it leads to children making assumptiions which could be wrong .
Lyn I don’t know if you’ll read this, every time you bring a guest for interview please show them where they go wrong and try to rectify them because of the audience watching the gen Z need to learn from those who made the mistake before them please check on that
All constructive feedback are good but I think it is not a good idea for Lynn to be setting here on platform to judge people... I think is doing an amazing work by listening and provide us with material that helps us on reflection work with our self...material can only be beneficial if their are untouched and raw . Speaking with the experience of going to terapi for 2yrs...it is not the psykolog that heals people their...the reasons that people start their of journey healing is because terapisti create unjudgement environment around one...and the truest start growing through the relation and during the process patient will start by themselves learn and relearn...I think that is a good way to go ❤ At second...to compare trauma doesn't help...each trauma is unik depending on ones perception...I you listen carefully in Abigail story...she is telling how she took in and she think it affected her...that is why is good to listen...sometimes is good to tell louder because it's their you can get the opportunity to hear your self with your ears...that helps in processing the inner pictures so that you can put them in words and sound by mouth....the is nothing bad with that ❤ third I see that many on this platform are Christians ...if you guys read your bibles you find that it tells you about the power of the tongue and the power of the ear...
She is a journalist doing an interview. She has to be unbiased and is there to listen and let the girl share her experience. Understand that not everyone is looking for advice.
Honestly listening to this as a parent to a teenage its rising my blood.Genz arr showing us dust...But God Grace is sufficient so far..Abby enyewe its good to talk it out but it costs nothing being good to yr parent ❤❤
What a brilliant girl!! Go, Abby, go!❤ I'm a mother of two daughters and grandma of a little one. I love the three to bits. I hope I haven't let them down too much.
Have learnt a lot from this conversation, weh! Hawa Gz inabidi tuwalewe cos mtu aneza fanya kitu hadi unashindwa kama ako na akili😂 like hapo kwenye alimtuma nyama hadi ikaozea kwa bag,
By the way, just the way for nine months of pregnancy you had not prepared for your baby's clothes is the same way your mom was not prepared for your campus after 4 years of high school..... things happen especially when your income is kidogo it's really difficult to prepare or have a long term plan because you are surviving on hand to mouth. Your mom had her challenges, but she wasn't too bad as a mom. She just did not know how to deal with her own pain. All in all, you are destined to go far, just give your daughter the best you can. Tomorrow will be better.
Please do not project your problems to your mother. She could be going through a depression after the divorce. You are lucky you got a scholarship . You also played a part to mess with your life. Put yourself together and go for therapy. We have orphans who manage their lives. At 18years you have responsibility of your life.
1.All kids look up to their parents for the next step, it's up to the parent to explain to their child the challenges &how to manoeuvre. 2. Don't show your child that it's the responsibility of the father only.. parenting it's both 3. Both parents failed to be supportive of their child
Actually the reason why her mother didn't respond to her after giving birth maybe she was frustrated and she didn't have the right word to use .. maybe if she had talked she could have said something worst than there before...
Eh Lynn I have cried ...happy tears but mostly sad. yet she has taught me to be a better mother to my three daughters. to learn to apologise. Abigael may the Lord open the floodgates of blessings. Could you let her know she is doing great? You are doing great work for the Lord and the next generation. May you never lack.
I'm different...the moment I was kicked out empty handed after 14yrs of toxic marriage...I loved and still love my kids more than I used to when I was in marriage ...all my attention is always on my kids ... Nawapenda sana. WOMEN SHOULD HEAL... ACCEPT first, healing will be automatic ...sasa BLAMING KIDS JUU YA BWANA MLIWACHANA...haimake sense
From this story i feel that the girl was disrespecting the mother and demeaning her ...its good to appreciate the little thing we get from our parent ..that small effort she made its worthy ...parent are struggling ...i dont think there is a parent who would refuse to support her child when she have it....coz the same way she struggled when she was pregnant the same way her mother struggled to raise her ...
The comment “ all my mom said is she didn’t have money when she could try more because she could” then proceeds to understand the drunk dad who chose the easy way out and hardly paid for anything. Sounds like a selfish girl. For once this parental trauma is what I still can’t understand
Y’all think kid just need to be provided for . Just because you provide you can be brutal to them? Taking your frustrations on them? How about their mental wellness? Children need love and if one cannot offer love regardless of the circumstances they may find themselves in, then they have no business being parents. ✌️
Either way we look at this issue, the kids were the woman’s responsibility given, she was the present parent. Wenye wana taka a blame pia babake, you seem to have issues. This was a kid period! All she needed until she becomes of age was support in every aspect and not be punished for her father’s absence.
A bigail should take responsibility of her actions Her mother needs to give her side if the story. How did she know that he mother had money? She is chasing fame by drugging her mothet in the mad She worked and her priority was to be on FB not looking at her surrounding Why did she think its only her mother that needed to have planned how about her father and his family? He even had a payslip wowc Did mother have one ? She understands dad and grandma how about understanding mother ? We need mother's of GenZ to be brought so that its a two way traffic. In kenya divorce is woman's fault hence she resent her mum Abigail needs therapy to accept her mistakes and stop feeling entitled Why didnt she go to her boyfriend mother Abigailb hakua na pesa for 9 months za pregnancy???? But mama angejipanga ?? Where is baby daddy qnd his family Kunyenyekea is not part of her vocabulary Poor mother Lynn bring her mother ❤ She as a mother needs to co parent with her baby daddy She understands everyone except herr mother Kwenu ni shida
If ur a parent I cannot say to a child I don't hv money , u had a child it's not fair on child, not every parent is equipped or a good parent, some don't know any better. Let a child be a child , parents should take responsibility for their children . Children can be naughty but parents hv to provide for their kids .
I'm a daughter of irresponsible mom who left the 4 of us kwa shosh my whole life,well when I compare my mom to your mom I am team your mom I need to hear her side of story she tried tried tried I love your mom (sorry)
Lyn, I do not know what emotions to have over here! Listening thru her story, I both listened to what she said and heard what she did not say. It is painful to say the least. To some extent, I relate with her. Lyn, I grew up in a dysfunctional family and raised by narcissist parents. I thought I had healed from the hurt and stuff but every time a divorce matter, child(ren) maintenance mater lands on my table, I break down (of course out of the office) because the stories I hear from the clients bring back the raw emotions to the surface. Nonetheless, life does not always give what one bargains for. I have learned to heal and walk the journey to healing. I have learnt to unlearn what I learnt growing up and learn what is right. Lyn, narcissists will never say sorry, in the first place, they don't know that they are sick and they think that what they do is what should be done. I had to forgive myself for hating them to give room for healing. My advise to her over and above therapy is that she must be willing and ready to face the hard truth that is proven in the realms of psychology and spirituality that the cycle of divorce and/or single parenting and that of narcissism are often repeated from generation to generation but that the same can be broken and this requires one to be very intentional about them. Chances of her taking up her mom's qualities and pass them over to her daughter are very high though unintentionally. Secondly, she needs to introduce her child to her father early enough for a bond to be created to avert any chances of her being totally separated from him completely and be unable to bond in the future. The journey begins first with her healing and forgiving herself and her parents, always remember that non-forgiveness always holds one back from progress, one keeps going through circles and circles. Lyn, you need to bring someone who can explain so well on the effects of narcism on parenting...
Knowing how her mum grew up would be a good start. She got married at 19, weh tena Church! Life is clearly beyond the raised heart beats that new love creates.I feel like the neglect arrested her psychological growth. The baby that was nurtured shows up strongly. She may have to reparent herself and pick herself up and be responsible of her actions fully.
@@squishycirusure Abigail is my blood sister’s daughter and everyone especially her grandmother, her mother tried to plead her not to go to nairobi but she abused her mother and left. So whatever that happened to her is as a result of dis-obedience. Her mum now is in great pain
me having a toxic parent upto now it haunts me to be honest thus gurl has passed thru alot as a child some parents traumitize their children but me being a mother l broke that pattern and my child us safe and loved l can really relate to her some parents are very narcissistic
Abby is just mad with the mother, she's projecting too much,She helped where she could,You failed as a child juu you're earning 30k unajua situation ya home mbona hukusave for campus? Atleast kidogo mzazi akutop up?In Nairobi You refused to stay with your auntie atleast msave..You were a difficult child,yaani hadi kupelekwa cell,own your mistakes 😅
True indeed I don't see why she is blaming her mother she is the one who destroyed her life u go on sleeping with boys in campus and ur mum had advised her to go and stay with the auntie? As a single mother I can't entertain such nonsense please own ur mistakes Abigail stop projecting on ur mother infact enda uombe mamako msamamaha wachana na hii crocodiles tears hapa u really failed ur mom
@@marshaasiya5278 the mother was there 4 her since child hood if u can listen to her story well after divorce her mother never abandon her infact she used to sell vegetables to fend her with her brother then instead of appreciating her she's here blaming her it's wrong she should advised to respect her mother
@@nelimajudy280 except she guilted her kids for having to take care of them.. she neglected them emotionally.. n sleeping with boys in campus is not abnormal
Imagine leaving your asthmatic child in jail for stupid deliquency ajifunikange bendera... she was not doing abnormal things like drugs n stuff like that she was not a prostitute or in a gang she was just randaranda with her peers.. punishment didn't fit the crime... she was 17... why didn't the mum save anything for her joining campus also... kuambia mtoto ameachwa na baba eti nenda utafute babako ni nini hio sasa
Her mum was going through alot as a single mum,struggling to put food on table ,, failed to listen to her what else wll u expect,, actions has consequences ,its hard also to raise teenagers,
I believe this girl was rebellious for a long time which strained her relationship with her mother. In as much as she's blaming the mum, she played a huge role straining the relationship. The mum bought her a tablet, took a loan to pay her fees...she tried. Remember when our parents said they didn't have money and we didn't believe them? Now that she has a daughter she's raising, let's wait and see how 'perfect' her parenting will be!
No she wasn't rebellious I can attest she partly lived with Nyanya, and we were together only you people could know what you commenting,She mentioned her part as her child but weeeh!!! The other side as siblings is fire huyu aachiwe Mungu tu😢
Am glad this story has been aired, we've a huge problem of parents bleeding all over their children especially when divorce comes into the picture. Also fathers project their bitterness on the children whether they're single fathers or have moved on. In the process of oppressing the mother of their child/children, they also oppress the children in the worst way. All about ego, selfishness and superiority complex. There's a whole generation that has been brutally affected by this foolishness. Generational trauma is real.
I feel this gen zs are not ready to own up to their mistakes. Her mum was just trying her best to raise a good child. N she was myb being rude or spoilt n she thought life would be easy. Now she is a mother. I wish she will see through her mum's eye n raise a better child. Too much love is spoil n too much strictness is spoiling too.
Ladies when you are in distress don't fuck around that time you need just your self, coz men know how to yake advantange of you at your lowest point. And you're the one who will be left with the budden.
32:17 'No one has ever asked me...' but Lynn has. Lynn your platform is therapeutic and changing lifes. Be blessed for all the lifes you've touched and continue impacting.
You are doing a good job Ma'Ariah. You are courageous and brave for sharing your story. I have really cried because your story is very similar to mine. I'm 23 years and a mum of a 11 months old baby girl. My parents have caused me alot of emotional baggage which i feel have contributed to my current situation. My mum is a teacher on PNP terms and my father a police officer. Dad is an alcoholic, has been one since i can remember my childhood. Mum has always told me that i am the reason she got into a toxic marriage. To her, dad ruined her life mind you i have younger siblings. Fast forward to 2009 my mum and dad decide to part ways. It was bad. Since dad used to change stations regularly, most of his household staff was at our place. When they parted ways, dad came to get his things. I remember that morning mum told us not to go to school early because she feared for her safety. I was only 9 years at that time. After ensuring that dad had got his stuff, she sent us to school alone. As the firstborn, i was required to ensure my siblings got to their respective classes. On the way to school, i was really anxious because i knew i'd probably get punished. It was around 10am. My younger sibling's classtr started interrogating me as soon as i dropped them off to class. I just broke down and the teacher still forced me to speak up. I am a bright girl but my grades started dropping. I was a broken girl. My mum later on started asking us especially me to call my dad for schlfees. I would hear him drunk telling me to tell my mother to go back to him ama hatalipa fees. I would hear their nasty exchanges and heated arguments. I started refusing to call dad and mum would call him when he was drunk and pretended to be me. She would ask for schlfees. I dont really know whether he would send. Long story short, just before i sat for my KCPE, they got back together. They hid it from us for sometime but after getting my admission letter to high school, mum broke the news to us. She stated that the main reason they got back is that she couldnt afford my high school fees. They even did a wedding. Mum had really poisoned me against my father hence i have never had the courage to call him dad ever again. She made me feel like a burden because what do you mean you're getting back because you couldnt pay my fees? I remember dad only paid form 1 fees the rest, they had to fight and at the end of it all, mum had to pay it herself. I completed high school and joined university in September 2019. The first semester was okay then COVID hit. UON started online classes which i barely managed to attend. I was really depressed since i knew i deserve a better life. I decided to just brave up, leave home and look for a job to sustain me and allow me attend my classes. Luckily, I got a casual job at a mission hospital. I explained my situation and they accomodated me to study and work. I did the job and studied online until 2022 when i had to do my practicum and go back to schl for physical classes. I used all my savings to facilitate my practicum and going back to school. I asked mum for help in September 2022 when i was at rock bottom. her answer has always been the same, 'ambia babako'. I had no one to turn to. I spent most days looking for job but couldnt find one. I had learnt Graphic Design but it wasnt sustainable. November 2022, i was pregnant. This has made me rethink and restrategise. Its actually 1 am as i write this and i know i should see a therapist ASAP, for me and my daughter. I shall revisit this. thank you
I intentionally left my daughters dad because of his alcoholism and the issues that arise from it. I've fully responsible for all her expenses for the last 7 years. Every so often I feel resentful that he got to live his life free of responsibilities, but I've never shown my daughter anything but love. I sometimes have to remind her that there are things she cannot have because I can't afford it. I know the pain and anger are real but it's always good to put everything in context and choose your words wisely.
Sorry she went through this , however , she should give her mom some grace since she is the parent who stayed , she blames her mom for everything and not once does she acknowledge her dad had a part to play in parenting them weuhh ..Her mom should have done better but she was also a child when she gave birth…
Would you do what her mother did to your child😏 regardless of what you are going through koz I would literally do anything for my kid. Whether I am going through hell or not. The mu alikosea
When we livd with toxicity it becomes difficult to see things properly and pattrepeat themselves. During this whole process has the mother taught her the basics of life ,saving,relationship issues etc. Moms lets take toxicity out it only harms our children aand cause cycles to repeat themselves. Girl i feel you
I told my story in tuko and the toxic mother came too and told her story ppl started saying that i dont respect her and so many things...if uve never had a toxic single mother u cant understand 😢😢😢😢
My mother tungekosea anatuona war kama ile ya Iraq. Hizi vitu mnasema toxic parents ni mambo ya kudekzwa tu. My mother would even evict my brother from the house and my brother would spend weeks living in the forest, mnasema nini niyinyi ati toxic parents. Mlikuwa mnadekezwa tuu! But you know what, I am glad my mother did all that, because she was alone and she had to make her voice clear of what she expected of us. Nimerealize watoto wengi wakilelewa na mama alone, they become tough headed like shiet. So unless the mother akuwe mkali, hao watoto wataishi kumuona kama joke. For example nikuulize, kwa hii interview, you expected this girl's mother acheke na yeye after kupata ball? I mean that would be so overburdening mathe amestruggle amemlea from childhood, akidhani mzigo imepungua, hii nongwe ya msichana tena inaongeza mzigo ingine ya mtoto! What a poor empty-headed choice!
I feel so sorry for her and she needs a lot of healing but I feel the mother was trying her best. In her own words, they never lacked food or a roof over their shoulders. It's possible that all the money she got from her veges business went towards food, shelter and clothing and that she couldn't afford the 120/. The father is who needs all the blame here for not meeting his responsibilities as a parent. I hope as she grows older in her own motherhood journey she is able to extend that grace to her mum. The parents that stayed do a lot of emotional, financial and physical labour while fighting their own issues internally
CHILDHOOD TRAUMA IS REAL EXPECIALLY FROM A SINGLE PARENT, MINE I HAVE HEALED OVER TIME COZ I DONT WANT TO PROJECT MY PAIN TO MY KIDS. ONE THING IS THAT BEFORE UR A MUM UR A GIRL UR WOMAN AND PPL NEED TO HEAL THAT GIRL BEFORE BEING PARENTS. ITS NOT EASY BUT A DAY AT A TYM AS U TRUST THE PROCESS
Its so sad when two grown up parents decides to be selfish enough to not care for their kids😢😢 its sends them to the streets. Sending hugs 🫂 🤗. May you find your path of destiny ✨️ 💖 💓 💛 its mu prayers 🙏
My take home is this, let us try and get therapy. Whenever we can. Millenials, we do need therapy, whether we agree to this or not. Therapy is NOT Weakness. I am a parent to a Gen Z and a Gen Alpha, my policy is 'Directness'...it is helping. Whenever one tells me,'Mum, sipendi ukinishoutia.'...najiita kamuktano. This is because I know as parents we need to learn to apologise to our kids when we are wrong. Abigail, i am sorry for all you had to go through whilst growing up. You need to have that therapy...am sure it will help you and your future generations. Also...extend an olive branch to your mum once you are ready. She needs therapy as well in the grand scheme of things. She has wounds she must heal. I don't agree with the point mentioned early about parents having to have their lives revolve around their children. Parents are human beings first before they are parents. Only when they are OK can they do conscious parenting. Halafu....not everyone is supposed to be a parent. Let us also accept that fact. Finally, thank you, team LNN, for bringing this insightful interview to the masses. We learn, Un Learn, re learn, and finally rebuild. Here is to a better society in the year 2050.
@LynnNgugi please bring Benjamin Zulu to your show. He teaches that most of the issues we ladies face are related to poor choices of marriage partners- and also getting married too early before you know yourself.
I remember walking out of toxic marriage ,then I was going to Nairobi Kwa ma aunt ,nilifika saa Tano usiku don't know the place guess what my mum called my aunt and told her not to host me ,nililia Kwa stage Hadi msee wa beba akanihurumia akanipeleka Kwa hotel then I called a friend who came and pick me😢
Very ungrateful. Healing begins by taking responsibility for her mistakes. I think her mother tried to the best of her ability. For her to get the Wings To Fly scholarship means her mother's financial state was not good. Something she should have understood. She probably just desired a good life in school, considering how much it costs from Lamu to Nairobi, i bet the mum couldnt afford to go for the visiting days.
Sometimes we blame parents so much,instead of us taking the initiative of healing individuals so that we can do better for ourselves and help them become better. Divorce is like Death,But it's also a new beginning to those who want to overcome it.
Who else should we blame? Ukizaa mtoto jua vyenye atagrow siuanze kumpee burdens za kupigia babake simu nikama niyeye alikufanya muoane. Kids must be taken care of nomatter yua divorce or death. Huyo mwanaume angekufa kwani hangelea watoto wake? Asituletee ushenzi huyo mama mwenda
Marriage can be toxic and nobody can be forced to stay in there if it's not working, but the parents should take care of their mental wellness to ensure they don't bring the kids into that mix, moreover the kids have their share of effects caused of not living with both parents as they should, I'm just speaking my mind.
Young girl! All i can hear is me me me! More grace to single mums raising queens and Kings. The father doesnt even get blamed but the mum😢. I understand its her story but may God help this generation
All along when she called, the mother picked the phone and also helped financially. She does not blame the dad who by far was irresponsible, instead she justifies his irresponsibility. At the same time she never obeyed the mother. Single mothers try their best, they only need obedient children and love from these children too.
Aaah, aaah... I don't understand why the mum is not receiving any gratitude for the things she did yet the dad receives all the grace. The mum also had an option to walk and leave her with the dad. I hope in that situation she'd be excusing the mum. She talks about her mistakes on a light note but she's biased towards her mum. You need to get real friends who can stand and tell you the truth. Own your mistakes and change your life. As you complain of the bad things, appreciate the things your mum did right, otherwise you'll never heal
I am going through the same thing . I fill the pain of that lady. Infact I brought mine to the USA and he moved away over 7k miles away and left me with his youngest son and I was just establishing home health care business. I needed his help but am glad that we are doing well with the help of caregivers
This lovely lady is a single mom now, i acknowledge her pains, but what about her mom's pain? I bet she has her own story too...they both need therapy and stop the blame games...choices have consequences,
Her mother had a choice to move forward and choose to heal in her own ways, just as this lady did/is doing. No matter what, we all have a responsibility to heal.
The mother should have healed from her own pain and developed a rlship with her child instead of bleeding on her! I've seen AMAZING single mums who raised successful adult children. There's ZERO justification for being an abusive parent!
Thank you so much Lynn for allowing me the opportunity to tell my story ♥️
It's NOT about spreading hate towards my parents, it's to show the repercussions of raising kids in a broken home. Unfortunately, the "mtaachana tu" thing happens a lot more today. So if you find yourself as the present parent, don't let the bitterness of it stop you from giving your shudren 1000% of your love. Together? 😊
More Love and Light to you❤❤
@@LynnNgugithank you Lynn 🥹♥️
Omg.....I love you, I love your story and your strength
you are a strong girl Abby.. keep pushing , the world is not even ready for who you are about to become. I am proud of you
So emotional,Maria itakuwa poa dear
"Parents should normalize apologizing to their kids". This is my punchline from the conversation. There are wounds that only apology can heal. Much love to you Abigail.
She extends alot of grace to the dad but non to mom yet the dad walked out and mum stayed up put
That's true and it is a big problem...hope she heals to be that wonderful mom to her child
That is what they do
It is a complex situation to unpack. Usually, the parent that stays is judged harshly. You are left with the role of being disciplinarian, caretaker, nurse, emotional support, provision, etc. So when you fall short on any of these, the kids may not understand the human side that sometimes things may not work and that the present parent also has struggles of their own.
The absentee parent enjoys the praise of being the loving parent who plays a victim of the situation sometimes.
All in all, both parents and kids from broken homes need a lot of support.
@@gloriaotieno9078sad
So bad and annoying 😢sometimes girls only spending few minutes with their dad they forget about mom who struggled alone I pray it doesn't happen to me
Life have taught me a lot... I've come to understand that there's always a solution to problems. Five years ago, my wife and I were close to divorcing because of issues in our marriage, but we found a way to fix them. It was tough, but we survived.
Releasing someone you love is always a daunting task, but in my situation, I had the support of a spiritual advisor who prevented the disintegration of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I promise you will not regret it.
Quite refreshing post! Thanks... consider walking with other couples as well
Thanks for this. I looked her up online, and she has been great.
Show children their failures too. That girl did a lot of bad things
I cried with Abby when Kagrace started talking to her.Kagrace is surely God's gift to Abby.God bless your friendship ❤
Lynn your guest described my entire childhood! My mom is now 87 years old. I brought her to America and I experienced the same resentment and rejection from her. I prayed to God, cried and in the end I realized I cannot make anyone love me. The Bible verse says, can a woman's tender care cease toward the child she bore, yes she can, yet will Father God remember me. Sister, look only to God he is your mother and father.
87? So it doesn't get better? 😞
@@marshaasiya5278 yes I see it doesn't change
@faithrehema4767 only if the parties accept the other's pain as legitimate and agree to healing and actively work on it. Not only in words but also in being active toward healing that brokenness and trauma. When the going gets tough, forgive and learn how to move forward as humble servants toward each other. My mother is a narcissist and only thinks about her pain. Only her story matters in her eyes to this day. It's always been that way, her way of release when we were children is the curse us, especially me, she beat me in the most cruel way and finally she purposely pitted us kids against each other. Even toward we don't get on. The wound is too deep. The only path to healing is inward. Work on yourself and give back compassion and love to those who are able to receive it. I don't was my love anymore in infertile soil or places that won't reap. I am still working on being all that God has designed me to be before I entered my mother's womb. May God grant each of us broken birds, peace, and healing so we can fly again 🙏🏽
@@marshaasiya5278it doesn't get better not unless apate total deliverance from God
I empathize with Abigael and pray for her to complete her degree and her, daughter and brother's life to improve.
But I also feel most likely she could be depressed and if not addressed she may spend her life blaming her mother for everything that does not work in her life.
Lynn please bring on board a psychologist qho will help understand Abigail and the mother.
My feeling is that the mother tried her Best.
Yes
This is a very selfish , egoistic gal ,l pray nothing goes wrong in her life eg sickness cos it's only her mum who will stand by her ,
@@veronicawanjiru3223 well, her brother is currently battling diabetes and the mother isn't even concerned.
True
Honestly the mother did her best.
I thought am the only person wondering how my mum used to mistreat me kumbe kuna ushuhuda hadi huku kwa lynn😢may God heal us and change our mumies mentality.
Amen sister
Weeee about me and my mom,in my childhood was hell,we have never bonded UpTo now
I remember my mom calling a prostitute 😢 calling me names and saying that am reason she is poor 😭. I didn't know tuko wengi...God mbele
Tuko wengi guys despite vile alinitesa on my childhood hadi alishidwa kunilipia shule na kunipea food I still took care of her nikiwa job paid for her hospital bills until her demise ...I did all this because I wanted to brake the chains otherwise she never deserved my care
Am that dude kid who mum never be there for me,even my siblings used to hate me,but now God changed my story, am one of the gal that has made it not so much but the small God has given me is a big achievement,Tegemeeni Mungu,ni baba ya wasio na baba,ni WA yatima,waliotupwa,and trust me God is making ways
Those with supportive parents should thank God.pple are toxic out here
😮 I feel though God pours a special blessings on those without parent or parent who mistreat them. If they let go of the bitterness n let God guide them.
True
Very true ❤
Parents xan also misuse their children
My mum is toxic af...and she is the only parent i have.
I am a mother who has undergone divorce.. but my priorities in life is my connection with God ,my sanity and my kids . The last thing I will not do is to bleed on my kids . Infact the separation has made us even closer.
this is me too i am asking God To make me whole too. i have read that what afects kids most is not the absence of a dad, but the stability and the happines of the mother. our left us early and we grew with lots of pain but i will never allow my kids to miss me even for a day ,my praye to God is to keep me heal and make me enjoy my lovely kids . AMEN
Being the parent who stayed is a tall order, wishing grace and wisdom to both mom and daughter
Woi the parent who stays really goes through it …Hope they mend their relationship..
It's not easy for the parent who stays
Lynn how are you? Can you please organise to interview the mother too? It would be nice to listen to both sides of this story. Wishing all of then quickest healing.
sure
I am the mother
@@88ruti wishing you and family God’s blessings.
Please see my comment and that is the other side of her story
Seen.
I am a single mum,and i will not bleed my wounds of seperation on my girls
Oooh yes we need to break those cycles kabisa
Thank God your mother took care of you.
As far as the kid lacks that father's part occupational, no matter the expensive extravagant life you can give to them, the unoccupied part will always display and affect their lives negatively whether you like it or not, many bitter single mothers shall never allow this fact to sink and Will rather live in denial.
@@martinjacobtv9864 you are out of topic my friend,read in between the lines and understand my point,kuna mahali umeona mimi nikisema father is not important?wewee,elewa vitu,and we are not bitter,we dont force things,sawa
Louder please ‼️
We should normalize talking of parental hurt.... whether mother or father...They mess children up...I wish this girl healing and I want to tell her you are enough and you will and already have overcome...love and hugs Abby
We need to talk about parents hut so that others will not repeat the same mistakes. My dear what I want to say forgive your mum yourself, and find purpose for your pain
it happens alot these days in youtube thank God.
Men should never stop supporting their children after divorce.
In an ideal world but you know human beings. It's done as way of punishing the partner who goes with the kid(s).
yea they shouldnt but they still do.
Forget about it . Men only provide when they can still have s*x with the mother. A good example is just a normal family ,once they are not in good terms. Most will not even provide properly . Now imagine if they separate. "What I'm I gaining in return "is the answer
Yes they should support their kids
Kawaida yao..ww Lea watoto na uzae na Mwanamume hata akiodoka those kids will love you.n love them back
There is so much to learn here. These Gen Z kids are not ready for life. Woi. I hope this is an outlier. We were never cuddled, we were beaten and we became tough, gen z is another breed. Parents we need to wake up.
Our generation was the one to be beaten, their generation is the one to be cuddled. Times change and we have to embrace change, same way we stopped using typewriter to computers.
It’s their life! If they can’t straighten their act, they have themselves to blame.
It hurts. This girl talked about the Dad who abandoned them with a smile and does not extend grace to the mum who fed her and provided a roof over her despite her own struggles and hurt
You reckon the dad was offering his last 30 bob when she took the divorce letters, demonstrating love, but mom has been indifferent. The father is an alcoholic, he is sick... the mom is working and there is no evidence on what she does with her money.... These wounds are deep.
@@emilyindumwa2710working as mama mboga not in a bank
Literally my thoughts..the mom was emotionally unavailable for her and provided no love unlike the dad who had nothing but still loved the daughter@@emilyindumwa2710
It really hurts Aki may God help that mum to be strong.this lady is sooo ungrateful.she was rebellious and even run away after being left at her grandmother.her mum was protecting her but she thinks it was being controlled
It's not only about what someone does for you. It's mostly about how that person makes you feel. If someone gives you USD1million but throws it at you and insults you along the way, will u receive it well? Some of you with your pride would even allow it pass you by. She is more understanding of her dad because he made her feel loved. I'm not saying she shouldn't forgive her mum or that she wasn't also a problem child maybe but how you make someone feel matters.
I am a single mum. My marriage ended in 2022 Dec and life has not been easy. Being brought up without a mum and by a step mum i understand childhood trauma quite well. My marriage ending was not such an easy thing. I am still in the process of healing. Watching this interview gives me more reasons to heal and not project my frustrations to my children. I choose to heal because life must move on. Lets break the cycle
Hugs dear. This is the attitude we must all have. Heal and break the cycle.
You will make it..some have been there and came out..Don't blame yourself for what happen let God hold your hand
@@phoebewanjiru1955 thank you dear 🙏
If a child starts to question if their mother is truly their mother, that is a indication that the mother is not good to that child
Its the same here 😢 Im not adopted but sometimes I feel like I am
Totally agreed 👍 .
@JoysisDiary Greetings from B2.
I concur.
This woman was trouble some .she feels entitled her mom did the best for her. Took her to school, looked for equity scholarship the mom was strong do judge the mom
@amimaowen9659
I agree with you. Mom anauza vegetables na anata apewe everything whenever she asks. If the mom doesn't have... anafaa a hustle harder. Baba yake kama hana nisawa. Why the double standard.
Ako na victim mentality. No accountability for the parts she played.
She needs therapy to help her understand some basics:
1. Both parents failed her, not just her mom.
2. We are under our parents compulsory care until we are 18. Any support past that is grace extended to us.
3. Forgiveness is for self. She'll be taught to let go of her pain and live freely.
4. She needs to also take responsibility for her actions that contributed to some incidences.
Very true. Accountability is everything
All that happened to her, did while she was still a child,even if she goes to therapy she will always feel the same way as long as her mom keeps treating her the same way she did from when the dad left. Main reason for her actions till date are coz everything started off while she was just a kid. If she was much older it would be different.
Her Dad failed her the most and her mum did her best paid primary school provided her basic needs foof, shelter, clothing.took her to campus paid .but she was not ready to stay with her aunt and she got pregnant.its not her mum's fault she should have studied to be better.your mum had alot of stress raised 2 kids alone is not easy.hope u don't luck and your daughter takes it against you I pray that day won't come for hurting your mum like this
@@nancykaranja5714I echo your response. Haki the mother tried.... 😢
You are right Lynn. Gen -Z children are a reflection of what we did right or wrong. They are not the problem. The older generation should recognise their faults
Well said!❤❤
I love that she recognizes that the dad has no money but love
She's okay with the father not having money but she feels it is an issue the mother did not have the same money. Wow!
Why didn’t the father have money? Why didn’t he fight for his kids.
@@patrickshayo5743he has mummy issues.
@@angelinegichaba7758eeh pia anaelewa baby baba lakini amegoma kumuelewa mamake lakini ako na mtoto atakuja kujionea
I equally feel she's biased towards the mother and excusing the fathers alcoholism. ..
Being a mother will open your eyes greatly to your parents’ abuse. When I became a mother, I couldn’t even imagine punishing my child the way that I’d been “disciplined”. Imagine punishing a 3 year old baby like that hmmm 😢.. never never. And it’s so sad realizing how much of your childhood you lost 😞 but if you’re willing to take the journey to heal, you make sure you become a wonderful parent -leading and guiding your kids into a beautiful life to break those generational traumas/curses. They claimed it was discipline but it was really abuse. Physical, Emotional, Psychological. And it triggers you so much sometimes especially when you start comparing yourself…but! May God continue healing us and restoring us to becoming better parents and spouses. 🙏🏾💛💛
The fact that she understands her dad lacked money that why he couldn't chip in,but she's so mad when the mother supports only where she could is soois insane 💔 it's Tough For Mothers!
I was thinking the same she has a lot of grace for the dad that left
Mothers need to be supportive ata kama sio pesa words of affirmation and encouragement. Just throwing words and showing lots of i do not care isnt fair. Positive words helps one negotiate through life
We can all judge the mother how we want but the mother tried her best only that she was strict and never allowed the daughter to do things her way…and probably she compared herself with other children in school she forgot to see the efforts her mum put in being a mama mboga .
Being a Gen Z I don’t blame her they are exposed to so much at a young age and probably she will understand everything as she grows up .
Unless we hear the mom’s side but that girl is the problem.
She has a lot of grace for the dad because he never mistreated her or made her feel unworthy even though he left. Love triumphs over money/ things. I’ve heard so many stories where children have more grace for the parent that left than the one who stayed. The father’s side of the family also seemed to help her where they could.
The mother later got a better job and still doesn't support even the brother who is diabetic .the parent that stayed should always step up no matter what
I grew up with a single mum(divorced) and she stepped up she never made us made us feel guilty of helping us she sheilded us from what she was going through
As a millennial single mother raising a daughter,all i can say they are making things so difficult, you do everything right according to your knowledge/capabilites but they want things on their own ways.They don't want the truth about consequences of life choices,mimi msichana akiamua kufanya vile anafikiria bila kuona me as a mother chenye anapitia achange path yake,nitamuacha dunia imfunze,wacha aniite toxic
I agree with you totally am also like Abigial ,I didn't want to listen to my mother now am a single mom too we kids are making the life of these single parents difficult .....Abigail was notorious period
If only she had a little love, all this would not have happened.
True especially raising those who are in adolescence/ teenagers
As a single mum i know the choices one makes and ends up regretting for the rest of their lives...i tell my girl to be careful now that she is a teenager, am very realistic with her...but asipo niskiza shaurize
Which mother???????@@VimbaiMutingarife
Ohhhhh God this girl has suffered, yet she stayed strong and I know her mother might be going through her own difficulties but these children don't deserve to be penalized for our own wrong choices as parents. I am a single mother, divorced and unsupported but my children are everything I have and I have protected, loved them despite the brokenness. Parents please please try harder. Remember you brought this child to life, whatever you go through, hold your children to the chest.
Proud of you❤❤❤
I feel bad for the mother, she seemed like a loving mum but was also going through her hurt. Abigail seems to have excused the dad but not mum. There is no time she ever says anything positive about mum. She also did have quite good chances but made poor decisions. Both mum and daughter are hurt, both need professional therapy. I hope their relationship is mended
So true
💯💯💯💯💯 And she's not accepting that she also messed up with good opportunities only sees bad side of her mummy
She even justified all her wrong behaviours, but could not offer her mum grace. I just feel sad for their fate.
This is so true. In my own opinion the mom needs therapy more than Abi
Maybe mum didnt have money at that time, so you cant blame her. Its hard for children to understand that a single parrnts goes through alot.
Steve Harvey said a quote he once heard, "you can live without your mother and father, but you can't live without a FRIEND". God bless you KaGrace ❤️❤️
Healing a mother wound is the hardest thing. I really pray I do better with my daughter coz no child should ever question if their mother loves them.
You will do well coz u understand.
So many people mention the Equity Wings to Fly program as being so instrumental in their life journey. Amazing work to the people at Equity in charge of it👏🏽
Uko tayari kumuelewa babako baby baba uko tayari kumuelewa lakini mama hauko tayari kumuelewa hata huoni mazuri yake
I think it's because she lived with the mother for the longest time when she was young and she developed negative altitude towards her because of beating her
Is the mother putting effort to be understood. The girl child didn’t choose to be borne of her mother. Her mother chose to bring her to the world. This her responsibility to protect and shield her child.
Kaweka positive sana kwa mama ..japo kuwa yuko na makosa ya kuwaambia si jukumu lake kuwalea alikua anatoa hasira zake kwa watoto na mara nyengine ni depression kwani si rahisi kulea watoto peke yako...na amejitahid kuhakikisha hawalali njaa na fee analipa ..vipi utasema hakupendi ..ni kumuelewa tu na warekebishe walipokosea na story isikilizwe upande wa pili..
When you go through loss either death,divorce and separation,the best gift to yourself and your loved ones is to go through therapy.
I love this so much ❤❤❤
May the Lord lead me to a therapist very soon, 6years and one day at a time of grief..
Team Lynn OYEEE 🎉
The problem is that most African communities don’t embrace going for therapy! It’s always seen as spiritual.
I have gone all spiritual all this 6years but now i understand therapy is a BASIC NEED
team Lynn OYEEE 🎉
This is so important. Plus take the time to process the pain, in order to heal properly. It's never easy but one can do it with the right therapy and support system in place.
I have wasted my time listening to a girl using her mother as an excuse for her irresponsible behaviour. Choices have consequences though.
Yeah the problem is they don't listen...
As mothers if you don't show love to your daughters where do you expect them to find it!?
You may be such kind of a mother as described,you need to change otherwise the results will be worse
I thought so toooo why blame your mum for your own actions?? U clearly made bad decisions.your mum provided basic needs your Dad Olso always said Hana why only say your mum.but still even after your mum tells u Hana she still found a way to get the money.she gave u 7k and u got a 6 k house.u got pregnant dropped out of school.your mum was broken she expected you to be better.
She's still a shallow thinker.
I'm asking where is baby daddy now after six years because i don't see him after completing his degree they should be living and struggling together
So the alcoholic dad isnt the source of your trauma, no dad issues bt mama akikosa pesa anaulizwa alikua anafanya nini the four years ulikua highschool? Choices have consequences.. The mother that is taking loans to take you to uni.
Aki this girl is sooo ungrateful
My mum was a single mum. The most challenging person to live with is a single mum who was divorced. Most are either very bitter, or neglect the kids. I agree with Yu Wambui.divorce is not good.the kids suffer most.
Kindly look for mum we hear her side of the story
Listening to you as a single mum has light bulb going on in my head .a culture of parents talking to your kids finding out how they really are is more than important
Very emotional 😢😢😢
The kagrace part made me cry.....
I wish the mother will embrace this young mom
This child😮
I think she had her own issues which she project on the mom. I basically went through what she went through. My pocket money( helb) ndio nililipia fees whole time. I never projected it on my period. The moment you know life is yours, masimo ni yako, destiny ni yako you stop projecting and own your life n your destiny
Her mom was married at 19 she was hardly a mentally mature adult and then divorced but I’m not excusing her, she was wrong for everything but this child has already experienced the unreliability of her mum,why does she continuously expect so much from her?
She needs own up her life, get emotional wisdom and own her life. Expecting anything from the world is defeatist. Just love yourself and give no space for negative people into your life
And she had enough chances which she blew up, 30k from Equity, 7k from her mom, support however small from her dad, etc
And why would she be more concerned about her dad more than her mom. That's insulting
The Gen-Z on the bench.
And the part she said she was fired because she couldn't make it to work due to morning sickness!!
I cried with her the entire interview 😢 my mom has been always there for me including taking care of my baby while I was in campus I can't thank her enough
My mum too basically both my parents have been supportive to me even at my age
When i was in form four no one came to my Prayers Day i cried but at the end of the day i understood my parents had not even fare, Forgive your Mom
That was their work to find fare, they gave birth to you knowing it was their responsibility to take care of you.
This also happened to me but I don't blame my parents I knew their status
Didn’t she face the same challenge too when she couldn’t afford baby clothes when pregnant? It was her responsibility too as a parent so why can’t she offer the same grace to her mom? And someone studying under Wings To Fly scholarship surely understands that she comes from a needy family….
For 4yrs they can't find fare!!?
Kindly bring the mother to the show
My advice to this young woman is to get therapy, forgive your parents(this is for you) and take charge of your life as an adult now.
She has been doing that for the longest time if you have listened to the whole story
very good advise
@@joycemaina1621usinichekeshe 😂😂😂
Only those who have gone through mummy issues can relate to this, healing will take time,,, it's not easy at all to just wake up and forgive them
talking is enough therapy. the perents should see this and ask for forgiveness. selective bible quotes mjiwekee!
Do not worry Abigail, you will get through whichever challenges you come across and then you will live a peaceful life. Take heart.
Weeeee, this is so heavy.I have cried the entire session I can only wish that history doesn't repeat itself. The father was never there so is the baby dady. I pray that you get a therapist so that you dont bleed on your child. These things happen unconsciously. You only need a small trigger and wond Ariah. An emotionally stable mum will raise a stable daughter. Girl you are so brilliant: Very articulate and eloquent. Hugs baby girl.
A big shout out to kagrace❤️❤️❤️❤️ she represents what's the meaning of a good friend ❤️
Absolutely 💯
Parents go through so much and they do not share with the kids . We call it shielding them but it leads to children making assumptiions which could be wrong .
This girl is ungrateful
Lyn I don’t know if you’ll read this, every time you bring a guest for interview please show them where they go wrong and try to rectify them because of the audience watching the gen Z need to learn from those who made the mistake before them please check on that
I love this comment.
All constructive feedback are good but I think it is not a good idea for Lynn to be setting here on platform to judge people...
I think is doing an amazing work by listening and provide us with material that helps us on reflection work with our self...material can only be beneficial if their are untouched and raw .
Speaking with the experience of going to terapi for 2yrs...it is not the psykolog that heals people their...the reasons that people start their of journey healing is because terapisti create unjudgement environment around one...and the truest start growing through the relation and during the process patient will start by themselves learn and relearn...I think that is a good way to go ❤
At second...to compare trauma doesn't help...each trauma is unik depending on ones perception...I you listen carefully in Abigail story...she is telling how she took in and she think it affected her...that is why is good to listen...sometimes is good to tell louder because it's their you can get the opportunity to hear your self with your ears...that helps in processing the inner pictures so that you can put them in words and sound by mouth....the is nothing bad with that ❤
third I see that many on this platform are Christians ...if you guys read your bibles you find that it tells you about the power of the tongue and the power of the ear...
She is a journalist doing an interview. She has to be unbiased and is there to listen and let the girl share her experience. Understand that not everyone is looking for advice.
Judging and giving advice will discourage people from attending the show,coz they know they'll be judged by you, the viewer, and the host of the show
i am not been judgmental but i wish this lady stayed with her aunt as advised by her mum
@@88rutiyou should do an interview! Say your side of the story
@@88rutiyou are the mother?
She knew her mum was not able to cater for everything especially house but was just rude
Guess she feared the cruelty of mother might also be with the auntie,,Then fredoom, yawa.
She is rebellious in many ways things would have turned better if Not
Honestly listening to this as a parent to a teenage its rising my blood.Genz arr showing us dust...But God Grace is sufficient so far..Abby enyewe its good to talk it out but it costs nothing being good to yr parent ❤❤
The reason she followed the friend is because she got someone who listened to her and gave the attention she didn't get from home.
💯
Yes
Yes💯
Your the few people speaking sense here aki understand this girl fully 🥺
What a brilliant girl!! Go, Abby, go!❤ I'm a mother of two daughters and grandma of a little one. I love the three to bits. I hope I haven't let them down too much.
Have learnt a lot from this conversation, weh! Hawa Gz inabidi tuwalewe cos mtu aneza fanya kitu hadi unashindwa kama ako na akili😂 like hapo kwenye alimtuma nyama hadi ikaozea kwa bag,
By the way, just the way for nine months of pregnancy you had not prepared for your baby's clothes is the same way your mom was not prepared for your campus after 4 years of high school..... things happen especially when your income is kidogo it's really difficult to prepare or have a long term plan because you are surviving on hand to mouth. Your mom had her challenges, but she wasn't too bad as a mom. She just did not know how to deal with her own pain. All in all, you are destined to go far, just give your daughter the best you can. Tomorrow will be better.
Exactly 👏👏
Please do not project your problems to your mother. She could be going through a depression after the divorce. You are lucky you got a scholarship . You also played a part to mess with your life. Put yourself together and go for therapy. We have orphans who manage their lives. At 18years you have responsibility of your life.
Thankyou! You said what I wanted to say
1.All kids look up to their parents for the next step, it's up to the parent to explain to their child the challenges &how to manoeuvre.
2. Don't show your child that it's the responsibility of the father only.. parenting it's both
3. Both parents failed to be supportive of their child
Actually the reason why her mother didn't respond to her after giving birth maybe she was frustrated and she didn't have the right word to use .. maybe if she had talked she could have said something worst than there before...
Everyg body needs a Kagrace.Graces carry grace with them.May the future be beautiful for you girls.
Police officers on an attempt to keep her warm gave her a flag to cover herself, bought her water and biscuits. Askari ni binadamu
She was lucky she got good ones....some do worse!!!
Eh Lynn I have cried ...happy tears but mostly sad. yet she has taught me to be a better mother to my three daughters. to learn to apologise. Abigael may the Lord open the floodgates of blessings.
Could you let her know she is doing great?
You are doing great work for the Lord and the next generation. May you never lack.
I'm different...the moment I was kicked out empty handed after 14yrs of toxic marriage...I loved and still love my kids more than I used to when I was in marriage ...all my attention is always on my kids ... Nawapenda sana. WOMEN SHOULD HEAL... ACCEPT first, healing will be automatic ...sasa BLAMING KIDS JUU YA BWANA MLIWACHANA...haimake sense
💯
Thankyou 👏🏼👏🏼
From this story i feel that the girl was disrespecting the mother and demeaning her ...its good to appreciate the little thing we get from our parent ..that small effort she made its worthy ...parent are struggling ...i dont think there is a parent who would refuse to support her child when she have it....coz the same way she struggled when she was pregnant the same way her mother struggled to raise her ...
But what about emotionally. For 4 years she never visited her in school
She is toxic daughter who tarnishes her mother.
You can tell she is book smart, beautiful and funny too .
Alafu Mungu tu abariki KaGrace❤ aki
True
The comment “ all my mom said is she didn’t have money when she could try more because she could” then proceeds to understand the drunk dad who chose the easy way out and hardly paid for anything. Sounds like a selfish girl. For once this parental trauma is what I still can’t understand
Its a shame that is all you take from her pain.
coz you are another culprit
Y’all think kid just need to be provided for . Just because you provide you can be brutal to them? Taking your frustrations on them? How about their mental wellness? Children need love and if one cannot offer love regardless of the circumstances they may find themselves in, then they have no business being parents. ✌️
Either way we look at this issue, the kids were the woman’s responsibility given, she was the present parent. Wenye wana taka a blame pia babake, you seem to have issues. This was a kid period! All she needed until she becomes of age was support in every aspect and not be punished for her father’s absence.
@@MyJOSE2013 I’m a Gen Z. Unmarried and no kids yet
A bigail should take responsibility of her actions
Her mother needs to give her side if the story. How did she know that he mother had money? She is chasing fame by drugging her mothet in the mad
She worked and her priority was to be on FB not looking at her surrounding
Why did she think its only her mother that needed to have planned how about her father and his family? He even had a payslip wowc
Did mother have one ?
She understands dad and grandma how about understanding mother ?
We need mother's of GenZ to be brought so that its a two way traffic.
In kenya divorce is woman's fault hence she resent her mum
Abigail needs therapy to accept her mistakes and stop feeling entitled
Why didnt she go to her boyfriend mother
Abigailb hakua na pesa for 9 months za pregnancy???? But mama angejipanga ??
Where is baby daddy qnd his family
Kunyenyekea is not part of her vocabulary
Poor mother
Lynn bring her mother ❤
She as a mother needs to co parent with her baby daddy
She understands everyone except herr mother
Kwenu ni shida
If ur a parent I cannot say to a child I don't hv money , u had a child it's not fair on child, not every parent is equipped or a good parent, some don't know any better. Let a child be a child , parents should take responsibility for their children . Children can be naughty but parents hv to provide for their kids .
@@mimap275 And love them unconditionally.
@@mimap275weeee seems you are on a whole spectrum.
@@one-G-row haha , I've gone thru similarish
I'm a daughter of irresponsible mom who left the 4 of us kwa shosh my whole life,well when I compare my mom to your mom I am team your mom I need to hear her side of story she tried tried tried I love your mom (sorry)
Lyn please 🙏 bring Benjamin zulu we need him on this platform
Lyn, I do not know what emotions to have over here! Listening thru her story, I both listened to what she said and heard what she did not say. It is painful to say the least. To some extent, I relate with her. Lyn, I grew up in a dysfunctional family and raised by narcissist parents. I thought I had healed from the hurt and stuff but every time a divorce matter, child(ren) maintenance mater lands on my table, I break down (of course out of the office) because the stories I hear from the clients bring back the raw emotions to the surface. Nonetheless, life does not always give what one bargains for. I have learned to heal and walk the journey to healing. I have learnt to unlearn what I learnt growing up and learn what is right. Lyn, narcissists will never say sorry, in the first place, they don't know that they are sick and they think that what they do is what should be done. I had to forgive myself for hating them to give room for healing. My advise to her over and above therapy is that she must be willing and ready to face the hard truth that is proven in the realms of psychology and spirituality that the cycle of divorce and/or single parenting and that of narcissism are often repeated from generation to generation but that the same can be broken and this requires one to be very intentional about them. Chances of her taking up her mom's qualities and pass them over to her daughter are very high though unintentionally. Secondly, she needs to introduce her child to her father early enough for a bond to be created to avert any chances of her being totally separated from him completely and be unable to bond in the future. The journey begins first with her healing and forgiving herself and her parents, always remember that non-forgiveness always holds one back from progress, one keeps going through circles and circles. Lyn, you need to bring someone who can explain so well on the effects of narcism on parenting...
Knowing how her mum grew up would be a good start. She got married at 19, weh tena Church! Life is clearly beyond the raised heart beats that new love creates.I feel like the neglect arrested her psychological growth. The baby that was nurtured shows up strongly. She may have to reparent herself and pick herself up and be responsible of her actions fully.
Bring the mother we hear her side of the story. For now this is a one sided one. But listening critically, her mum is a good mum
True and she did her best
Aki this is one ubgrateful, inconsiderate kid!
Leaving a daughter at a police station 3 nights alale kwa bench is being a good mum? Polisi wa kenya! Really??
@@squishycirusure Abigail is my blood sister’s daughter and everyone especially her grandmother, her mother tried to plead her not to go to nairobi but she abused her mother and left. So whatever that happened to her is as a result of dis-obedience. Her mum now is in great pain
me having a toxic parent upto now it haunts me to be honest thus gurl has passed thru alot as a child some parents traumitize their children but me being a mother l broke that pattern and my child us safe and loved l can really relate to her some parents are very narcissistic
Abby is just mad with the mother, she's projecting too much,She helped where she could,You failed as a child juu you're earning 30k unajua situation ya home mbona hukusave for campus? Atleast kidogo mzazi akutop up?In Nairobi You refused to stay with your auntie atleast msave..You were a difficult child,yaani hadi kupelekwa cell,own your mistakes 😅
True indeed I don't see why she is blaming her mother she is the one who destroyed her life u go on sleeping with boys in campus and ur mum had advised her to go and stay with the auntie? As a single mother I can't entertain such nonsense please own ur mistakes Abigail stop projecting on ur mother infact enda uombe mamako msamamaha wachana na hii crocodiles tears hapa u really failed ur mom
Really? What about her foundational years and the abandonment and neglect she faced from both parents?
@@marshaasiya5278 the mother was there 4 her since child hood if u can listen to her story well after divorce her mother never abandon her infact she used to sell vegetables to fend her with her brother then instead of appreciating her she's here blaming her it's wrong she should advised to respect her mother
@@nelimajudy280 except she guilted her kids for having to take care of them.. she neglected them emotionally.. n sleeping with boys in campus is not abnormal
Imagine leaving your asthmatic child in jail for stupid deliquency ajifunikange bendera... she was not doing abnormal things like drugs n stuff like that she was not a prostitute or in a gang she was just randaranda with her peers.. punishment didn't fit the crime... she was 17... why didn't the mum save anything for her joining campus also... kuambia mtoto ameachwa na baba eti nenda utafute babako ni nini hio sasa
Her mum was going through alot as a single mum,struggling to put food on table ,, failed to listen to her what else wll u expect,, actions has consequences ,its hard also to raise teenagers,
I believe this girl was rebellious for a long time which strained her relationship with her mother. In as much as she's blaming the mum, she played a huge role straining the relationship. The mum bought her a tablet, took a loan to pay her fees...she tried. Remember when our parents said they didn't have money and we didn't believe them? Now that she has a daughter she's raising, let's wait and see how 'perfect' her parenting will be!
Tell me why she seems to be sympathetic to her father but totally refusing to understand that her mother is undergoing financial constraints??
No she wasn't rebellious I can attest she partly lived with Nyanya, and we were together only you people could know what you commenting,She mentioned her part as her child but weeeh!!! The other side as siblings is fire huyu aachiwe Mungu tu😢
And also understanding her boy friend ohh! He was a student, ohh he had no money, so her only bad person is her mother
@@marymarie405entitlement ya Hawa Gen Z! You need to style up and own up to your mess
As a fan of LNS, Wow watched this from London, This was deep, what a beautiful soul, keep up the amazing work Lynn❤️
Am glad this story has been aired, we've a huge problem of parents bleeding all over their children especially when divorce comes into the picture. Also fathers project their bitterness on the children whether they're single fathers or have moved on. In the process of oppressing the mother of their child/children, they also oppress the children in the worst way. All about ego, selfishness and superiority complex. There's a whole generation that has been brutally affected by this foolishness. Generational trauma is real.
I feel this gen zs are not ready to own up to their mistakes. Her mum was just trying her best to raise a good child. N she was myb being rude or spoilt n she thought life would be easy. Now she is a mother. I wish she will see through her mum's eye n raise a better child. Too much love is spoil n too much strictness is spoiling too.
Please note her mum's mistake too when she was a helpless child. They're both traumatised and need help
She is selfish and its about her, she is a mother now hope she will do better. The mother did her best.
Ladies when you are in distress don't fuck around that time you need just your self, coz men know how to yake advantange of you at your lowest point. And you're the one who will be left with the budden.
32:17 'No one has ever asked me...' but Lynn has. Lynn your platform is therapeutic and changing lifes. Be blessed for all the lifes you've touched and continue impacting.
You are doing a good job Ma'Ariah. You are courageous and brave for sharing your story. I have really cried because your story is very similar to mine. I'm 23 years and a mum of a 11 months old baby girl. My parents have caused me alot of emotional baggage which i feel have contributed to my current situation. My mum is a teacher on PNP terms and my father a police officer. Dad is an alcoholic, has been one since i can remember my childhood. Mum has always told me that i am the reason she got into a toxic marriage. To her, dad ruined her life mind you i have younger siblings. Fast forward to 2009 my mum and dad decide to part ways. It was bad. Since dad used to change stations regularly, most of his household staff was at our place. When they parted ways, dad came to get his things. I remember that morning mum told us not to go to school early because she feared for her safety. I was only 9 years at that time. After ensuring that dad had got his stuff, she sent us to school alone. As the firstborn, i was required to ensure my siblings got to their respective classes. On the way to school, i was really anxious because i knew i'd probably get punished. It was around 10am. My younger sibling's classtr started interrogating me as soon as i dropped them off to class. I just broke down and the teacher still forced me to speak up. I am a bright girl but my grades started dropping. I was a broken girl. My mum later on started asking us especially me to call my dad for schlfees. I would hear him drunk telling me to tell my mother to go back to him ama hatalipa fees. I would hear their nasty exchanges and heated arguments. I started refusing to call dad and mum would call him when he was drunk and pretended to be me. She would ask for schlfees. I dont really know whether he would send. Long story short, just before i sat for my KCPE, they got back together. They hid it from us for sometime but after getting my admission letter to high school, mum broke the news to us. She stated that the main reason they got back is that she couldnt afford my high school fees. They even did a wedding. Mum had really poisoned me against my father hence i have never had the courage to call him dad ever again. She made me feel like a burden because what do you mean you're getting back because you couldnt pay my fees? I remember dad only paid form 1 fees the rest, they had to fight and at the end of it all, mum had to pay it herself. I completed high school and joined university in September 2019. The first semester was okay then COVID hit. UON started online classes which i barely managed to attend. I was really depressed since i knew i deserve a better life. I decided to just brave up, leave home and look for a job to sustain me and allow me attend my classes. Luckily, I got a casual job at a mission hospital. I explained my situation and they accomodated me to study and work. I did the job and studied online until 2022 when i had to do my practicum and go back to schl for physical classes. I used all my savings to facilitate my practicum and going back to school. I asked mum for help in September 2022 when i was at rock bottom. her answer has always been the same, 'ambia babako'. I had no one to turn to. I spent most days looking for job but couldnt find one. I had learnt Graphic Design but it wasnt sustainable. November 2022, i was pregnant. This has made me rethink and restrategise. Its actually 1 am as i write this and i know i should see a therapist ASAP, for me and my daughter. I shall revisit this. thank you
🫂🫂🫂
I intentionally left my daughters dad because of his alcoholism and the issues that arise from it. I've fully responsible for all her expenses for the last 7 years. Every so often I feel resentful that he got to live his life free of responsibilities, but I've never shown my daughter anything but love. I sometimes have to remind her that there are things she cannot have because I can't afford it. I know the pain and anger are real but it's always good to put everything in context and choose your words wisely.
Same here still struggling but i know all will be well how I wish we link up
@@IreneNanjavi-sl8wo amen 🙏
💯 I respect that❤
Sorry she went through this , however , she should give her mom some grace since she is the parent who stayed , she blames her mom for everything and not once does she acknowledge her dad had a part to play in parenting them weuhh ..Her mom should have done better but she was also a child when she gave birth…
Would you do what her mother did to your child😏 regardless of what you are going through koz I would literally do anything for my kid. Whether I am going through hell or not. The mu alikosea
When we livd with toxicity it becomes difficult to see things properly and pattrepeat themselves. During this whole process has the mother taught her the basics of life ,saving,relationship issues etc. Moms lets take toxicity out it only harms our children aand cause cycles to repeat themselves. Girl i feel you
I told my story in tuko and the toxic mother came too and told her story ppl started saying that i dont respect her and so many things...if uve never had a toxic single mother u cant understand 😢😢😢😢
Its really sad that its easier to blame the child rather than ask the grown up to take responsibility.Pole sana.
And I have a toxic daughter 😢life is hard aki.....😊
I watched your story Kelly ,yours was too painful... Hugs hugs
Faith5213 one you as a mother created from birth,life is full of choices take responsibility of yours and the consequences.
My mother tungekosea anatuona war kama ile ya Iraq. Hizi vitu mnasema toxic parents ni mambo ya kudekzwa tu. My mother would even evict my brother from the house and my brother would spend weeks living in the forest, mnasema nini niyinyi ati toxic parents. Mlikuwa mnadekezwa tuu! But you know what, I am glad my mother did all that, because she was alone and she had to make her voice clear of what she expected of us. Nimerealize watoto wengi wakilelewa na mama alone, they become tough headed like shiet. So unless the mother akuwe mkali, hao watoto wataishi kumuona kama joke. For example nikuulize, kwa hii interview, you expected this girl's mother acheke na yeye after kupata ball? I mean that would be so overburdening mathe amestruggle amemlea from childhood, akidhani mzigo imepungua, hii nongwe ya msichana tena inaongeza mzigo ingine ya mtoto! What a poor empty-headed choice!
I feel so sorry for her and she needs a lot of healing but I feel the mother was trying her best. In her own words, they never lacked food or a roof over their shoulders. It's possible that all the money she got from her veges business went towards food, shelter and clothing and that she couldn't afford the 120/. The father is who needs all the blame here for not meeting his responsibilities as a parent. I hope as she grows older in her own motherhood journey she is able to extend that grace to her mum. The parents that stayed do a lot of emotional, financial and physical labour while fighting their own issues internally
CHILDHOOD TRAUMA IS REAL EXPECIALLY FROM A SINGLE PARENT, MINE I HAVE HEALED OVER TIME COZ I DONT WANT TO PROJECT MY PAIN TO MY KIDS. ONE THING IS THAT BEFORE UR A MUM UR A GIRL UR WOMAN AND PPL NEED TO HEAL THAT GIRL BEFORE BEING PARENTS. ITS NOT EASY BUT A DAY AT A TYM AS U TRUST THE PROCESS
Amen
Bring her mom to the show and you’ll be shocked
Mbona umeona akili yangu
Exactly.
Its so sad when two grown up parents decides to be selfish enough to not care for their kids😢😢 its sends them to the streets. Sending hugs 🫂 🤗. May you find your path of destiny ✨️ 💖 💓 💛 its mu prayers 🙏
My take home is this, let us try and get therapy. Whenever we can. Millenials, we do need therapy, whether we agree to this or not. Therapy is NOT Weakness. I am a parent to a Gen Z and a Gen Alpha, my policy is 'Directness'...it is helping.
Whenever one tells me,'Mum, sipendi ukinishoutia.'...najiita kamuktano. This is because I know as parents we need to learn to apologise to our kids when we are wrong. Abigail, i am sorry for all you had to go through whilst growing up. You need to have that therapy...am sure it will help you and your future generations. Also...extend an olive branch to your mum once you are ready. She needs therapy as well in the grand scheme of things. She has wounds she must heal.
I don't agree with the point mentioned early about parents having to have their lives revolve around their children. Parents are human beings first before they are parents. Only when they are OK can they do conscious parenting. Halafu....not everyone is supposed to be a parent. Let us also accept that fact. Finally, thank you, team LNN, for bringing this insightful interview to the masses. We learn, Un Learn, re learn, and finally rebuild. Here is to a better society in the year 2050.
Hurt people hurt people, you gotta heal if not you’ll bleed on those around you 🙏🏽
Very profound.
I thank God for my mum, she took care of me and my son when I got oregano in first year at JKUAT, hope you heal from all this gal
@LynnNgugi please bring Benjamin Zulu to your show. He teaches that most of the issues we ladies face are related to poor choices of marriage partners- and also getting married too early before you know yourself.
I hope she'll read/see this
Yes we need zulu 😊
I remember walking out of toxic marriage ,then I was going to Nairobi Kwa ma aunt ,nilifika saa Tano usiku don't know the place guess what my mum called my aunt and told her not to host me ,nililia Kwa stage Hadi msee wa beba akanihurumia akanipeleka Kwa hotel then I called a friend who came and pick me😢
That's why I promised myself I will ever be a present mother to my kids..so help me Lord
Why again 😊
Very ungrateful. Healing begins by taking responsibility for her mistakes. I think her mother tried to the best of her ability. For her to get the Wings To Fly scholarship means her mother's financial state was not good. Something she should have understood. She probably just desired a good life in school, considering how much it costs from Lamu to Nairobi, i bet the mum couldnt afford to go for the visiting days.
True her mom tried to fight for her, but she blinded herself earlier.
Sometimes we blame parents so much,instead of us taking the initiative of healing individuals so that we can do better for ourselves and help them become better.
Divorce is like Death,But it's also a new beginning to those who want to overcome it.
You right but ,There's no excuse for being a toxic parent
Who else should we blame? Ukizaa mtoto jua vyenye atagrow siuanze kumpee burdens za kupigia babake simu nikama niyeye alikufanya muoane. Kids must be taken care of nomatter yua divorce or death. Huyo mwanaume angekufa kwani hangelea watoto wake? Asituletee ushenzi huyo mama mwenda
@@Kaswity2000indication that she know not how it hurts .. rejection is a killer
Marriage can be toxic and nobody can be forced to stay in there if it's not working, but the parents should take care of their mental wellness to ensure they don't bring the kids into that mix, moreover the kids have their share of effects caused of not living with both parents as they should, I'm just speaking my mind.
It happens and continue happening.
Young girl! All i can hear is me me me! More grace to single mums raising queens and Kings. The father doesnt even get blamed but the mum😢. I understand its her story but may God help this generation
Imagine! I am the mother. Why don't they listen to other side?
All along when she called, the mother picked the phone and also helped financially. She does not blame the dad who by far was irresponsible, instead she justifies his irresponsibility. At the same time she never obeyed the mother. Single mothers try their best, they only need obedient children and love from these children too.
I conquer with you,,,anafeeel she is self centered and the way her mum even tried
Parenting is not easy especially single
First few minutes into this and wuee...she was irresponsible kiasi.
Aaah, aaah... I don't understand why the mum is not receiving any gratitude for the things she did yet the dad receives all the grace. The mum also had an option to walk and leave her with the dad. I hope in that situation she'd be excusing the mum. She talks about her mistakes on a light note but she's biased towards her mum. You need to get real friends who can stand and tell you the truth. Own your mistakes and change your life. As you complain of the bad things, appreciate the things your mum did right, otherwise you'll never heal
She will be treated the same . She's also a parent . Mine is a boy treating me the same
I am going through the same thing . I fill the pain of that lady. Infact I brought mine to the USA and he moved away over 7k miles away and left me with his youngest son and I was just establishing home health care business. I needed his help but am glad that we are doing well with the help of caregivers
Because if a parent can be toxic even a child can be toxic.
Lynn my daughters are hrown up but ive decided ro mother them all over again. I cant imagine them crying in future when they remember me.
Praying for Mama Abigail and Abigail's healing.
Someone tell our parents that raisin us is their responsibility and they're not doing us a favour.
This lovely lady is a single mom now, i acknowledge her pains, but what about her mom's pain? I bet she has her own story too...they both need therapy and stop the blame games...choices have consequences,
Thank you.
Exactly. The mother had alot going on in her life and struggled to fend for her children. All she needed was therapy to overcome her fears
Her mother had a choice to move forward and choose to heal in her own ways, just as this lady did/is doing. No matter what, we all have a responsibility to heal.
The mother should have healed from her own pain and developed a rlship with her child instead of bleeding on her! I've seen AMAZING single mums who raised successful adult children. There's ZERO justification for being an abusive parent!