Seasoned divorce lawyer here. Just my two cents: stay single. Become the very best version of yourself. Travel solo. Pursue your passions. Live your best life. You can still have terrific intimate relationships without entering the bonds of holy matrimony (marriage). If you want further proof that single life is best, go spend a day in divorce court to observe. Stay safe out there!
finally i heard someone else say it. they see it something that have to do (not want to do) to complete their life. they want to create this wonderful image that does not represent what actually goes on inside their home. im so happy that i decided to never fall into the trap of marriage even though it's a social norm and everyone in my life is either married or planning on it.
My marriage ended after 2 years. My advice is stay single unless you are 100% sure. If you have the slightest doubt and your friends and family are questioning it listen to them. It will save you worry, time, sadness, and most of all money.
So far people in other countries/asia/south-east asia aren't that materialistic as long as you're faithful and have a job to make ends meet and raise a family, you're good. But there are also people who got married and who are in the aspiration to marry as part of life, not caring much about how difficult it can be in terms of financial aspect. There are so many cases of families here who have A LOT of kids that couldn't go to school because of poverty. But one thing you can blame it on is the fact that some people are never mentally and financially ready for marriage. For them, that is the way of life, you were born into this world and do what everybody does, everybody gets married as society's highest ideal and you can't get out of it because it's like a deep hole and you have fallen into it. Philippine courts forbid divorce. That's why Poverty exists as well in Asia, more specifically, South-East Asia. Although, now it's changing because the young people are now educated enough to unlearn all these things. In the West, I think people have been materialistic and the standards of living are too high and financially, it can be pretty demanding because of this pressure to have a SOLID ECONOMIC FOUNDATION, which I truly understand.
Were you not sure when you decided to get married? It seems to me like a "don't get in the car and don't drive unless you're 100% sure you won't have an accident" kind of argument.
What if they haven't met my partner and they say things out of fear. I know this is a men's video and comment section but I'm just trying to ask around. When in your opinion do you think I should take their concerns seriously. Right now it's just because they don't approve that the partner is a different race and he isn't rich like us. I love him for his mind and his emotional intellect. My family has very little emotional intellect. First man to understand everything I feel and think, that made me take him out of the friend zone lol. He initiated the idea of marriage before I did also. As I said, my family has never met him and refuses to. Makes the situation weird because I don't want to start drama on the day that he meets my parents. In my opinion they just demonize anyone who isn't a child of their friend or business connections.
Marriage troubles me because of how vulnerable and risky it is for a man. We are loved conditionally while everyone else women, children, pets are loved unconditionally. Even if we try and do our best we may still end up being cheated on or have a divorce. There isn’t only a mental risk but a major financial risk. I’ve come to the conclusion that I want kids and I want to bear the burden of a family although finding the right partner especially in today’s society is very difficult. In conclusion, be picky with who you choose and keep improving yourselves.
The financial part is true and it’s one of the big reasons marriages don’t last, that’s why it’s important to build a strong foundation of economical freedom before you settle down, that will set a solid ground. The cheating part is tricky because there are so many causes, but it sums down to desire and decision making from a “self respect” point of view. And it is hard to find a partner with a self respect that isn’t affected and reformed by society and its new standards of human rights that misleads the people. The chances for a committed relationship is getting harder to create With the new vision of the free “man”
@@tannerjoust1263 In a sense the vast majority of men are victims, we are treated as disposable by society, we still have to conform to traditional gender roles otherwise we won't progress in our working and relationship part of life, meanwhile women have both options to be both traditional and modern, and they can achieve the same. I grew up thinking women are victims, and that we must protect them at all cost, I am and unfortunately still go along better with women, and as I grow older I am realising more and more how disposable I am and how much shit I'm fed every day. I should talk about my feelings, but at the cost that most women will see it as weakness and the moment I did it with a friend with whom we had something going on, it took the downward spiral, and because it was a bad time in my life I admit I got a bit needy, but now I'm just friend. The patriarchy , this needs no explanation why it's bullshit. Wage gap, same. It's ok not to be sexually experienced, yet I've been rejected for that and I unfortunately know my sister has only been with fuckbois and even told me she prefers someone inexperienced which is clearly bullshit. And whenever I point out to a feminist who says she fights for equal rights why she doesn't care about some men specific issues, she says fight for them yourself. My dad had an affair, which is very wrong, and for 4 years after that my mom was emotionally and physically abusive to him, she tried to blame him for my own mental problems, everything was his fault, luckily they have stopped now but knowing that if my dad, which what he did was very wrong but that's not the case now, would have asked for help after all the abuse he would be ridiculed and told to man up. I've always wanted to have a family and get married, but as said the older I grow, I'm 25 now, marriage seems like a prison which according to many, it is.
I’ve been there and I was so pro marriage before. I found out in the end that there is literally not one benefit to a man getting married. Before I could only see positives but I was blinded. There literally isn’t one benefit. It’s even worse in the social media age where people will feel there is always better out there. Prenups dont work and the risk is all on the man. If not the man it is solely on the higher earner. I’d only get married in future if she literally is worth significantly more than me. Oh and yes I did believe in love etc. But as any lawyer will tell you ultimately it’s a contract and you signed everything away as a man when you signed that contract. All the best in your search. Just don’t get shamed into marriage.
@@tannerjoust1263 Oh no I didn’t mean to come off as a victim of have a victim mentality I was just being realistic and the wording may have been off but the responsibilities of taking care of a family can be very fulfilling if done correctly. I think people should continue to improve and take care of those around them. In my opinion and I don’t think it’s that controversial people should be 100% fine with themselves before a relationship much less a marriage. As a kid everything’s black and white the older we get the more we see all the shades of grey in the middle.
Well you are kinda missing out on life because you are not investing in a relationship and not leaving a legacy whereas your friends took a leap of faith in love and built a family
@@ataa69120 That’s actually not true - I’m living a very full and happy life. I have had great romantic relationships (many of my ex’s I’m still friends with), I travel the world frequently solo and make new friends along the way, have built a rewarding career and have been self employed since the age of 24 and was able to buy a house myself. My friends who started families early in life now are struggling to even find affordable housing, time with their kids and the financial burdens they face. Now that many of those same people are single parents, it’s a life I wouldn’t really wish to ever have. Plus, my siblings have all had kids so the gene pool will carry on and I don’t have to worry about any “legacy”.
@@laaa210 I literally anybody who doesn't love you unless you marry them isn't worth your time, P E R I O D. What that guy said reminds me of those old sayings that further perpetuate generationally passed down sorrow. My grandmother stayed with my grandpa through thick and thin, he's been a hardcore alcoholic since he was 12 sleeping on the street she's been with him ever since it told me she's suffered just because of "tradition" for reference my grandpa's 70 and he's still hammered 24/7 acting like a kid, don't try to change people just get as far away as possible.
Love when he said we need to stay in shape and be sexually attracted to each other, i hear many woman say he should love me for who i am which i hate that statement, you can't put on how many pounds and still feel im gnna be sexually attracted to you, madness on both end, not bringing your best version of urself.
It will come as a shock one day when you realize that everyone gets old. Looks fade, personality stays. Health & fitness are great, but no one stays "the same" forever.
@@clairefitz3147 looks like you forgot the 'S' ... let me help you, there... KARSEN :) My grandparents sure changed after 50+ years of marriage & I notice some of the same happening, going on 10 years with my man. You can believe what you want to tho ;)
I learned some difficult, painful lessons in my last relationship and it's made me stronger and resilient. I think relationships and marriages don't work out because we all have trauma that we don't deal with. If your parents had a dysfunctional relationship when you were growing up it's more than likely that you will too. You say to yourself 'i will never be like them' and years later you end up in the same position. The past is prologue. Unless you have learned from your mistakes and gone through self development and therapy you will keep making the same mistakes. Repeating the same pattern. So deal with your issues on your own and improve your relationship with yourself first. Then think about a relationship with someone else.
The risk is too high for men. There needs to be two changes. 1. Limit alimony to one month for every year of marriage. 2. Limit child support to 10% of your net income per child, (DNA test upon request).
10% for the first child with the additional percentages getting progressively smaller for additional children. (Assuming all of the children are with 1 women)
I'm not even a dude but I agree. I saw my male cousin get used and abused by his gold digging status and attention seeking wife and now the aftermath is heavy. That isn't right at all
Im way past these sorts of half measures. If women want men to return to marriage, then the price is in the event of a divorce, the father automatically receives primary custody with no exceptions, and alimony is limited to five years. That's it. And I won't bother wasting time trying to bargain, either.
This conversation is so deep. Every man should operate the same way this guest has operated when choosing a wife. A man must look for a woman who is not only beautiful, but who will be an asset and not a liability.
@@JohnSmith-cz3us Thats the point mate... the more selective a collective becomes the more it raises the bar and the higher the quality over time. We currently suffer the opposite problem, men have no standards and aren't selective, many just want sex at all costs, so the market is saturated with entitled single mothers, usually over weight and have nothing to offer that expect a lot. 100 years ago no man would accept that, so the quality of women was higher.
@@SWIFTzTrigger Most women like me would make damn good wives but a man wouldn't look at me that way because I'm not Instagram model level hot. Guys want their cake and eat it too, and don't comprise which is why they will stay single or in busted relationships.
There's plenty more where that came from, he's a really fascinating guy. I suggest you check out his TH-cam channel Valuetainment. I've learned a lot from watching him and the guests he interviews
As a man of 25 years old I refuse to get married or have children until I know I made it in life! By that I mean, I have to a house, a truck and my own business making money for me every week! That’s the criteria I set up for myself. My parents ask me if I’m every going to find a woman and I say yes! All in due time! I’m not ready for a relationship but I am ready for sex. Two different things. That’s why I have to continue working on myself! I told myself that I wasn’t going to waste my 20’s. I was going to work hard up until my 30’s so I can have a better life.
Unfortunately most wives become extremely apprehensive to intimacy after the honeymoon is over while your obligation to provide for her and show her affection is still legally enforced. When ever a wife wants her husband to buy her designer handbags or jewellery his response should be “not this year honey I have a headache” that will give her a dose of her own medicine.
I have 3 sons. Me and my husband said the same things to them. Two are now engineers and getting ready to purchase a home. No girlfriends in sight. But they are now in a position tobe successful when they choose a wife.
You hear how this guest went into marriage with purpose and a mature masculine growth mindset. A relationship will evolve and individuals will change, therefore, Marriage is only for mature individuals who mutually accept responsibility and respect towards themselves and one another in the knowledge that both individuals are flawed and imperfect and both individuals need to hold each other respectfully accountable. Furthermore, if you don't know self or have a strong identity, you will never know how to choose a suitable mate.
@black wolf101 haha you’ll still find a reason to cheat if that’s what you want to do. I personally know a couple that had a threesome and she left him for the woman lol. He would also be the point of contact which created problem. You won’t be problem free at all.
Marriage is just business sold by the church. You don't need a piece of document to build deep relationship or family. I think people want to add "extra security" on their relationship because they have doubts or trust issues on their partner.
@Nóra Jánosi it’s depressing. Divorce rate, affairs, broken families & single parenting is too common. Probably why it’s like that now. Kids are growing up with liberal extremists mindsets from their mothers without knowing the cons of them.
The real test comes when you get your first child which has constant belly pain and is awake all night. The 2nd test comes when u both are middle aged and the kids are no longer living at home..
Also, take note that he had somthing real important to say that he can back up. As a woman, she has to feel that conviction when you speak to her and that comes from having your shit together. A wise woman will not follow a fool.
The reason the guest speaker's wife listened to him is because he made her feel comfortable, secure and protected. When a woman feel those things then she can be vulnerable. The guest speaker also provided his wife a practical solution her problems. His wife is able to be submissive because he exemplifies strong leadership abilities. The reason this dynamic works is because they are not in a codependent relationship. You are worthy of the love you desire. However, when you say that women don't listen. You are simply telling the universe that this is type of woman you want to attract in your life. So speak a different narrative.
His wife is a great listener. Also, take note that he had somthing real important to say that he can back up. As a woman, she has to feel that conviction when you speak to her and that comes from having your shit together. A wise woman will not follow a fool.
dude, whatever, you guys are still in love with your make believe picture of these girls. Never wanting to join the rest of us in this very very harsh REALITY....... Women ain't "wise" dude
They forgot to mention the reasons why relationships & marriages fail. Is because the sex wars that go on social all being fueled by heartless man & woman who have failed at relationships so now everyone has the same fate according to them. Now add 2 narcissistic people or 1 narcissistic person to what you think would be a loving relationship and your just fooling no one but yourself since your letting the devil in. That goes for both men and women who can't control their emotions and anger and can't balance decision-making out in a relationship. Everyone is willing to brag about marriage and relantships about how good or bad they can be. But not many will understand about the long-term commitment sacrifice and teamwork that so-called friendships involve to keep evolving. So if you're already dealing with a person who can't understand these things or maybe you're the one who can't understand these things. Why do you go raw during sex and end up in the same bandwagon like everyone else you knew before you? What did you think having children would change the equation and fix your marriage or relationship? Why did you both not seek counseling before making such plans?
That's a real woman, it takes a lot of guts, humility especially for a female to let go of the pride and ego returning the BMW and settling down cheaper for a better day, much respect.
This guest speaker is saying so much truth, especially the part about who you would call in a fight. I remember getting into an argument with my fiancée and I called my mom to vent. Not only did my mother put me in my place, she also took his side. That was very eye opening for me. My parents have both been married for 25+ years lol.
Mums who G check their daughters whims are in short supply today if anything they encourage the fuckery. Luckily I have achieved my goal of not to have kids out of wedlock(am weirdo like that ) So no need to ever go down that rabbit hole ever again. Rather try my luck Dodgeing raindrops while being fired upon by machine guns from all sides. Kinda sad tho cuz kids really do thrive in marriage. Maybe best thing to do is not to give each other dilemmas so close to home.
We neeed to normalize telling women when they are in the wrong, or need to get a reality check, i think society allows women to believe theitmr perfect even when they do wrong, you never learn.
I got into a huge debate at work saying that you should keep yourself attractive for your significant other and the whole room said I was wrong it shouldn’t matter! Thanks man you proved my point
We live in an era that's trying to normalize laziness and mediocrity. Expect any idea that requires people to have to get up and do something to be met with a response like that. They all know it matters. They're just terrified of the idea of having to invest time and energy into keeping themselves healthy. It's a chore. When they say it shouldn't matter, they're actually saying "but I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna 😭"
@@localjunckieasmr9207 How do you know I am single? People/women come and go in your life. Be better for yourself, not to impress anyone else. Workout, eat healthy, read, etc for yourself, not for the Gram, or for someone else. A good version of you will be attractive to others.
Man I'm grateful I was born and raised in the Caribbean…family values and loving homes were the standard for most of us with fewer influences...things have changed now but at least there were some great women available ....social media and the urban influence has distorted what marriage was truly intended for. Now everyone out here being shiesty.
@black wolf101 yea man it isn’t the same anymore because of social media it use to be amazing though ...God bless all my brothers in the US but it seems like family values has gone out the window for good ..and the world has been affected by it
My Pops has been married to my mother for over 40 years. One thing he taught me about marriage is that if everything is going well, the man gets no credit but if it fails the man is to blame. We have a burden to carry
From my perspective, men in marriages have some to gain and everything to lose, while women have little to lose and everything to gain, ESPECIALLY with divorce. That said, you have people getting married not understanding that it’s a commitment for life, and that both people are supposed to support each other. You got people marrying after having met like 3 months ago, or just cuz some guy knocked up his girlfriend. Basically they’re marrying for the wrong reasons and are too stupid to realize the gravity of their decisions.
Men should get married only to women who know how to add value to a marriage; someone who wants to build a life together, not just someone to pay her bills.
I understand. I'm a woman and can relate. I tried to love unconditionally and put my all into it but it wasn't enough and I was heartbroken left in the dust
Wow, so many misconceptions here. Here some reasons why I got married: - She loves and respects me and I love her. - She gives me confidence, she is my biggest fan, she makes me feel like a real man, which helps me in the workfield too. - I have someone to share ANYTHING with, whether it is temptation through porn, something difficult at work or my dream of having a sailboat. She doesn't judge me and helps me to get through things. Someone who knows your soul is priceless. - You don't have to go through challenges alone. - You have a best friend to do fun stuff with. - We can have and raise children together, give them love, confidence and a toolkit to be worldchangers. - Sex is soooo much more intense, authentic and passionate if you do it with your soulmate who never judges you or walks away. You have time to explore also. Even if you have a bad session, just improve next time and celebrate it. It's a nice process. - Lastly, a big reason for me (maybe not for you), I honor God and understand more about what unconditional love is. Guys, don't be fooled. Think for yourself. It's not all an economic question. Also, take your time to find a high-quality woman. Don't have sex too quickly (maybe even wait until marriage?), because then you are not blinded by your lust or her appearance and see the red flags much earlier. Cheers!
Well said and very true! The biggest point that I got out of what you said and is by far the most important thing to have established in our lives is allowing God to be our foundation. If we are building our house on a rock then it will be solid but if we are building it on sand (worldly standards/values) then it will fall.
We are not afraid of marriage man we are afraid of DIVORCE. Tell me man what is the benefit of the government getting involved in a marriage which is supposed to only be between a man and a women AND god??
Congratulations, you have an awesome wife! However, we are complaining about the current divorce laws. We are scared of losing our children and being financially ruined. Like you, I have significant faith in God and in my afterlife. However, I need fair laws for my earthly existence.
Get married if you are willing to take on the risks that come with another human being having divorce laws in their favor. If you are comfortable with that, have fun.
@@sharenalynn can be trowing out the window in court room, and its not only fanatical risks in marriage, emotional risks, and freedom, she can accuse you of physical abuse or sexual abuse, if she want to revenge, and they will believe her, talking from experience.
Women take risk by having their husbands child. The risk of death for black women during child birth is high. In addition, the time she takes off work to raise the children puts her behind professionally. So, let’s say she walks away with half the proceeds of the sale of their home and part of her now ex husband’s retirement because he wanted a younger woman, totaling about $50,000 after say 2 kids and ten years of marriage. Now let’s say he wasn’t a high earner, child support around $400 a month for both kids, and she’s been out of the work force for ten years helping him build but things didn’t come into fruition. Now this divorced mom of two needs to start over at 40 something to find a home, employment and stability for the children who only sees the kids on the weekend when him and his new play thang ain’t busy. There’s risk in every thing, but I think death takes the cake!
“My mom was a Communist, My Dad was an imperialist.” “The Divorced community wants to recruit into the divorce community.” “Win your existing loyal people over, and NEVER disrespect them.” Bruh...that’s some God-Level Insight.
Just want more clarity on this statement. Does that mean people just want to create echo chambers of people just like them because misery loves company?
@@chamber1083 It's more that people trust their judgment and experience more than reason and resonate with those in similar circumstances. Trust me, if you've ever been cheated on by someone that you loved and this led to a divorce where they happily moved on, when your kids/friends speak of "falling in love" or find trouble in their relationships, your trauma will usually 'recruit' them to your mindset.
I’m 29 and I’m reminded by my older peers (40+) to never get married. They also say if i must marry, don’t even think about it until 40. Also, they say the single best thing in life is freedom and being single.
I d simply suggest you to start reading your Bible and communicating with God/ listen to His advices towards you more, than you listen to your friends...)
See past Friday. You can share your life with someone, but not be committed to the Government contract. Stay single, and retire in your late 40s and early 50s. Life is great.
@@aphiwemncube1550 Asking for a friend......define "selfish" by deciding not to sign the government contract (aka marriage license)?...How does that make one selfish? I'm curious... Selfish, to me, would be getting married, and then "taking the pack off" because "I got him/her". I can gain weight, not look my best, not have to be on my best behavior, and "accept me for the way I am". Living with someone without the government contract requires each party to be on their best behavior, improve themselves, not let themselves go physically.
@@iud3110 You can’t take your wife and kids with you either, so not sure how that’s relevant. I’m single and I share my wealth with my girlfriend, just never going to get married. We’re going to Hawaii in 2 weeks and going to have a blast.
@Sareem J Thank you. I don’t plan to have children, and to clarify I do not cohabitate with my GF. I’m 40 and feel like I’m good not reproducing, as I can live a happy and full life just with GF(s). If a man wants to have children then I do believe marriage is the way to go. The only good reason to get married is to have kids and start a family, as I’m not a fan of single mothers and broken homes, as kids do poorly in that environment.
The love between my parents taught me marriage is about being happy and successful and decided to share them with your significant. So start with yourself first
13:30 I compromised my ''NO MATTER WHATS'' before getting married and that's what was the cause of dying marriage that finally ended. A lot of that comes down to sex before marriage as it has the ability to clouds your judgement. I think that sex before marriage is a really bad idea, especially for a man, because you are unable to assess a woman on her character and you don't marry sex appeal you marry character. You enjoy sex appeal but you deal with a character most of the time.
@Gus Fring Los Pollos Hermanos Chicken, Crystal Meth Well I am currently finishing one divorce where we started by being active before marriage so I guess I can only tell you about how it works out the next time when i get married to someone without sex before marriage.
@Gus Fring Los Pollos Hermanos Chicken, Crystal Meth And no Sex After Marriage is not the silver bullet to save marriage. That is picking the right person, at the right time and still putting in the work. In order to pick right you have to know her well and also you need to know yourself because you will be able to deal with red-flags better. However, if you are in a place where you lack an IDENTITY and then you engage in SEXUAL Relationships without the ultimate commitment you are highly unlikely to do a proper character assessment simply because you have now put sex and booty on the table and matched that against her character and that is a case of your short term mind battle with long term factors and short-term gratification mostly win in that battle. Added to this the Domapine rush of SEX is higher than work and Alcohol and thus its ability to dominate your mind especially with her as the source is very difficult to assess her long term and objectively. Your decision making process will be compromised.
@Gus Fring Los Pollos Hermanos Chicken, Crystal Meth Calm down. I am saying it creates a barrier that stops or impedes you from being able to spot or deal with red flags before going in. That's what I mean by clouds your judgement. When judging whether to stay in a relationship or progress to marriage sex should not be a factor. Its something 2 people can work on in a marriage but it should not be the selling point because it can blind you from things you desperately need to fix and deal with... Also it becomes an easy way to get out of FIGHTS.
im 36 years old i never dated i was singel all my life i dont need kids i dont need a wife i dont need to get married. im already doomed to be singel forever i dont trust a woman to be with and i enjoy singel life.
Two-time divorce' here, first was 18 years which almost broke me, the second was 5 years and purely out of loneliness (The WORST reason ever!). Fast forward 7 Years with no marriage and no LTRs, focusing and becoming the best version of myself, and couldn't be happier!
@@aidan9656 amazing! The Guy made a comment about how happy he is, and all you can do is somehow try and find a way to blame him for waking up. Wow. Just wow.
@black wolf101 No its not. The pandemic caused it to increase quite a bit last year. A lot of couples got tired of being in quaranteed together and had to call it quit. Domestic violence increased too
I stumbled onto this video by curiosity on my path to bettering myself, and this guy is so authentic and well spoken, and it makes so much sense having your close circle tell you to support your partner, and if both of you are getting that response, it will only bring you closer instead of separating you
Hello Brother Hafeez, This is your brother from East Africa. This is content is so great and insightful. I have learned a lot from Patrick. Ahsante sana.
I've listened to this man interview people, talk about finances, give life advice, but never have I heard him talk about relationships. Truly a fantastic person to listen to.
My wife and I are having a son- due April 13. I’ve never been so excited in my life. I went from living at home and unemployed with my parents to getting an MBA, great career, marriage, bought a house, and now with a kid on the way in 5 years- and I’m only middle of the road intelligent ect. It’s possible for all of you.
You are just at the beginning. Pray for your future, that whatever challenge comes you will pass through it, because they will come. I have seen friends have kids and immediately have problems afterwards, so am hoping for the best for you.
bro......plenty of divorce happens 10+ years into the marriage.....ya'll gotta stop acting so goddamn arrogant. Stay married for 50 years THEN COME TALK TO US
I wish I could up-vote this twice! I'm 27, I was together for 6 years, engaged for two when she left me at 24. The part about instant venting and scarring hit deep. this has given me a lot of insight. I'll take the advise and wait at least 3 more years. After that, now I know what to look out for. Thank you guys. EDIT: Subbed
Being tied down to someone you might no longer be attracted to especially given how common obesity is becoming, is a scarier prospect to me than the financial stuff.
Its true. So many men mainly want their wives to look good but dont do anything about their own looks. They have a beer belly, bad skin, dont care for their dental health, dont keep up with modern fashion, and dont do anything with their hair. They still use 3 in one body wash (body, face, shampoo).
I’m the product of two outstanding marriages -> parents’ and grandparents’. Grandparents have been married for 63 years. Two amazing people. I know marriage can be a lifelong wonderland and I wish my friends the best when they go down that road. BUUUUUUT definitely not my thing lol
@@maxwellanderson007 maybe you've been in shitty relationships and need to heal from your past. There could be some bitterness that left you hurt and jaded. A quality partner & healthy relationship should always bring value and growth to your life. There's some real hating on women energy. It could be the energy you're attracting.
@@maxwellanderson007 I'm sensing a lot of toxic masculinity and self hatred from you. Take care! I don't think you'll attract any quality women hating females. You clearly were hurt and may want to resolve that before dating.
It's funny my parents will be married for 40 years come June. My dad always ask how come I don't have a girlfriend, and I tell him that things are different now, compared to the time my parents meet each other, back in 1979. What's even crazier, is that they meet at their job, which today is a big "NO NO".
I feel you bro. My family is always bugging me about a girlfriend. Kinda hard to find a good woman nowadays. They all seem to be on that onlyfans app. I aint tryna get with a girl like that.. this generation is messed.
My mom is just getting it now, how modern women are and how dangerous it is.. Sure, we are of the white community but it's still the same across race, marriage being such a risk to us and thus our mothers.. She will not see the home we worked for (2500 sq. Foot duplex so we have very seperate living spaces and entrances, on 3/4 an acre lot) go up in smoke to some floozy in a divorce court...
I am 50 and still single and lived to tell about it. Perhaps someday I will find the right person but if not I will live to tell about it when I am 80. So glad I have a positive perspective.
@@sbc4434 I don't agree that every woman is that way but I do agree getting married is very risky. Getting married is a roll of the dice and sometimes you get snake eyes and for some guys the venom also.
If you are going to get married, just make sure you have been dating the girl for a long time.. Most of these problems stem from guys marrying girls on the basis of attraction rather than logically analyzing how good of a life partner they would be, and using a solid, long track record for that.
It's still a difficult situation. Regardless of how long, a girl can fall out of love anytime at a flip of a switch. I've seen it happen more times I can count and it's happened to me with my ex girlfriend. It's more based on, trust and respect I feel. If she can't respect you enough she is bound to leave.
I was married 25 yrs. In the last 15 years, she let herself go and kept spending/giving away all our money. I hated to... but I pulled the plug. Now I am debt free, and I get to build my wealth. Marriage is work for both parties, if just one stops major problems begin. Otherwise, the rewards are wonderful.
If I think about the worst points in my life it has been involved in a relationship and when I think about the highest points in my life it has been as a single man handling my business!
I am a 33 year old and I am getting divorced from a 5 year marriage this year. But I agree with what he said about the importance of marriage to a young man.
@@McGarthur Sorry to hear that. Its something I would wish on no man but I think we all need to be there for one another. I am through the worst of mine its just that in my country you have to live apart for 2 years before your divorce is approved so we are just waiting out the clock for the remainder of this year.
@SOUL SEEKER Keeps us from jumping in and out of marriages at will and gives optimal chances for cooling tempers to improve the chances of reconciliation.
this guy is beond wise. 14 minutes of him talking and I could sense an energy within me that I have lost over the last 5/6 years of my life. (I am 25 btw.)
43 yo, wrote two books, run a learner driver school and built the app for bookings , admin etc and plenty of teaching materials sold. Not married and don't want to.
3:42 GREAT POINT! Especially how a lot has changed in the last 40 years, specifically with this becoming a more connected world via these apps. Overall, this man is very insightful. All of his points are super valid
I’m going on 17 years of marriage with a good woman and I still don’t recommend marriage to men. Whatever so called benefits you get is under cut by what you give up in return. Also the benefits aren’t continuous or even a given but your part of the relationship is. Let me explain, about half of marriages end in divorce, about 80% of divorces is initiated by women, about 90% of those women get the children, child support and alimony. On top of that they get most to the property like the home with the furniture, car and about half of the savings. So after the relationship is over women still benefit and in most cases even do better while you do worse. She can get a job, another man and create 3 sources of revenue. Now if you defy the odds, you will have to work at the relationship day after day, year after year while still protecting and providing for her. On the other hand she can deny you the amount of children you want or children at all. She can deny you the amount of sex you want or sex at all. She can let herself go (Get Obese & Lazy) neglect the home, can disrespect, belittle you and there’s nothing you can really do. If marriage wasn’t a contract and the government stood out of it that would make it better but it is. Since divorced court, family court and even the police/authorities side heavily with women it’s best to voided the whole situation.
@@jvjustvibes9103 I got married young before I knew anything about life, relationships, marriage and how men are treated by the government because of divorce. Then I found Dr Warren Farrell, MGTOW, The Red Pill, lived a little longer and now I know the harsh truth about relationships. Like I stated, I’m married to a good woman, yes we have our ups and downs but I consider myself luck so far. However I wouldn’t recommend marriage because my experience isn’t the norm. The risk out weigh the benefits in my estimation.
@@emzywillrich7243 ehh....it depends from places to places. India is a weird one where you'll find oppressed vvomen in village but also promiscuous "entitled" vvomen in the metro cities. Where a lot of r*pe occurs but still a lot of fake r*pe cases and domestic violence against men is happening.
@@emzywillrich7243 Which, according to statistics, is much better than your "marriage by love". My gawd, seriously, you people need to realise that their is no such thing as "love at first sight", relationships are build over a long period of time. Arranged marriage, with knowledge of their characterisitcs, views, behaviour and personality, coupled with loyalty and a broad perspective is a real recipe for "true" marriage. Though this is only a "Secondary plan". The primary plan is that if u have a women/man u truly love and want to marry, then go for it. If not, then go for the secondary plan. Also, pre-martial relations are also a big reason for bad marriages, since due to the different demands, due to being with different people, people often expect things from people which they would expect from OTHER people, which is a big problem, along with TONS of other problems. Long rant, i know.
Politics is an extension of your value system to an extent, as is religion. The husband and wife have to be on a similar enough page for the relationship to work.
@@KiranSundarkdog97 right. And it’s deeper than about which way you vote. Comes down to values and how you see the world. Same with religion but he’s got a point on different religions having overlap.
Imagine you fall in love with a girl n you 2 get married, buy a house together, n have some kids. 10 years down the road everything seems great until one day you come home n she hands you divorce papers. Now your forced to move out of your house n still pay for that house that she n your kids can still live in. On top of that you lose primary custody of your kids n have to pay child support monthly n are reduced to limited visitation to your kids. She also claims to the court that she can't maintain her lifestyle that you once provided for her in the marriage n your now ordered to pay monthly alimony payments to her so she can achieve that lifestyle. Your also financially n legally responsible not only for your attorney fees, but hers as well. Now while all this is being handed down to you by the judge, he urges that you better make payments on time n in the full amount or you'll be subject to jail time for lack of payment. Now when someone asks me, "Why don't you wanna get married?" I look back to this scenario!
I'd like tp comment on : ``She also claims to the court that she can't maintain her lifestyle that you once provided for her in the marriage`` I feel like men like to be ``providers`` and therefore go with women who make less than them (sometimes by a long shot). The reality is this ``provider`` midnest is outdatted (coming from a woman hersefl), it's exteremly hard to live off one income (so let the women contribute as much as you do) so you have to find someone who makes as much money as you (if not more) so both of your lifestyles allign. That will remove the burden of financial contrainsts which is one of the major causes in failed marriages (I'm a daughter of divorced parents and my dad was the main provider until he couldn't beacuse he lost his job and decided to just leave us on our own beacuse he couldn't take care of the family anymore, if my mom had a salary like him or close their marriage would have worked out but my dad was facing too much financial problems and my mom was not doing much about because she couldn't make as mush as him and setlled for a life that was above her means ). Once that constraint is removed from the equation, the rest of the marriage depends only on how the 2 will behave, unfortunantly futur can not be predictied and people will change but if you remove any fiancial, material or physical problems (yes looks matter) when starting to date someone you'll have a good chance to be happy in your relationship. That's all, I just wanted to pinpoint the ``money problem`` :)
@@manelo.8906 Lemme pone a hole in your logic here. When a man makes more money, he spends it on his wife. When a woman makes more money, she thinks she doesn't need a man. Marrying a woman who makes more is always gonna be a long shot anyway. But, when a woman makes more, she usually thinks she's better than the man she's with
@@GhettoJohnWick exactly. She’ll get tired of always being “the man” and find someone who she think is better and will make more than her so she doesn’t have to work and provide anymore. It happens all the time
He's not 62. He was giving the hypothetical example of someone who is challenging him by saying they were "happily married" at 22-- with different a set of external conditions four decades ago.
I'm 35 never married, love being single and has made me be intentional about my relationships with the opposite sex. I still experience intimacy and closeness and have beautiful memories and experiences with women. Relationships are an excuse to be lazy and lose our passions and drive. Deal with the discomfort of loneliness it builds more character and women sense that and want to be around it.
This true if I ever get married I’ll rather be with someone that contributing into my process than taking away from it. Marriage is sticky but it can work if you think with your big head instead your little one. Keep bossing up
I feel sorry for all the couples who rely on sex to keep them happy in a relationship.. a medical condition one day could stop one or the other from being able to and then what? All those years are thrown out the window I guess .. such shallowness in relationships nowdays
Actually he just gave a really good case for not getting married. I like his points, but the emotional baggage and lack of relationship skills are just too difficult to think any relationship lasts.
Thank you for I introducing me to Patrick Bet-David! He enlightened/incorporated me to some wisdom that I feel changed me in a way I didn’t even realize I needed change in. I now want to practice his practices, so wise!
That was the best video and advice about Marriage ive ever seen like seriously. I don’t have 3 non negotiables but i have 2 as of right now. She can’t have kids with anyone before me and she can’t do drugs.
![[FINALE] 💸ที่แท้พ่อเป็นผู้ถือหุ้นบริษัทพันล้าน เขากลับใจตอนนี้ก็สายไปแล้ว🙇🏻♂️#ละครคุณธรรม #short](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/yFwgjTFISUI/mqdefault.jpg)
Be sure to hit the subscribe button and get the manhood course here: roommatesshop.com/
Can’t believe you got him to n the podcast boy you a dog keep up the good work !!!!
The best one yet you guys put out here. Thank you. Needed to hear this
I really would like to give thumbs up, but I'm racist.
Never marriage... No family... Why would you?
Plus I don't give a shit about what happens after I am dead...
Seasoned divorce lawyer here. Just my two cents: stay single. Become the very best version of yourself. Travel solo. Pursue your passions. Live your best life. You can still have terrific intimate relationships without entering the bonds of holy matrimony (marriage). If you want further proof that single life is best, go spend a day in divorce court to observe. Stay safe out there!
I'm taking your advice Sir
ah recruiting i see LOL
@@subzfit Staying single will keep you OUT of my office! Go live your best life!
@@crimsonite1524 Ha! Enough business already! Stay single and enjoy your life!
Or marry the right person for the right reasons?
People see marriage as a status, not a lifelong commitment
It is a status. It is both.
As it should be.
They wanna update their Facebook relationship status, that’s it.
finally i heard someone else say it. they see it something that have to do (not want to do) to complete their life. they want to create this wonderful image that does not represent what actually goes on inside their home. im so happy that i decided to never fall into the trap of marriage even though it's a social norm and everyone in my life is either married or planning on it.
An achievement, an item in a to-do list
When all the successful married men are telling you dont get married. It speaks a lot
Except only a few of them are. There's also situations like Mr. Gates.
@@nothingnerdyNtertainment what gates??
My marriage ended after 2 years. My advice is stay single unless you are 100% sure. If you have the slightest doubt and your friends and family are questioning it listen to them. It will save you worry, time, sadness, and most of all money.
Thanks man
So far people in other countries/asia/south-east asia aren't that materialistic as long as you're faithful and have a job to make ends meet and raise a family, you're good. But there are also people who got married and who are in the aspiration to marry as part of life, not caring much about how difficult it can be in terms of financial aspect. There are so many cases of families here who have A LOT of kids that couldn't go to school because of poverty. But one thing you can blame it on is the fact that some people are never mentally and financially ready for marriage. For them, that is the way of life, you were born into this world and do what everybody does, everybody gets married as society's highest ideal and you can't get out of it because it's like a deep hole and you have fallen into it. Philippine courts forbid divorce. That's why Poverty exists as well in Asia, more specifically, South-East Asia. Although, now it's changing because the young people are now educated enough to unlearn all these things. In the West, I think people have been materialistic and the standards of living are too high and financially, it can be pretty demanding because of this pressure to have a SOLID ECONOMIC FOUNDATION, which I truly understand.
Were you not sure when you decided to get married?
It seems to me like a "don't get in the car and don't drive unless you're 100% sure you won't have an accident" kind of argument.
@@iulianhodorog9979 unfortunately for me I wasnt 100%
What if they haven't met my partner and they say things out of fear. I know this is a men's video and comment section but I'm just trying to ask around. When in your opinion do you think I should take their concerns seriously. Right now it's just because they don't approve that the partner is a different race and he isn't rich like us. I love him for his mind and his emotional intellect. My family has very little emotional intellect. First man to understand everything I feel and think, that made me take him out of the friend zone lol. He initiated the idea of marriage before I did also. As I said, my family has never met him and refuses to. Makes the situation weird because I don't want to start drama on the day that he meets my parents. In my opinion they just demonize anyone who isn't a child of their friend or business connections.
Find someone that is willing to forgive more than one time because you will mess up a lot. If you can’t forgive then don’t even think about marriage.
Truer words have never been said
Never in my life will I marry until laws change
Preach!
Forgiveness and precise communication
Thank you
I'm just gonna continue living life as a single man.
Same here 🤠
Thank you, please do.
Your a smart man. There are pros and cons to both though. I’m glad I did it because of my children.
I’ll continue life as a single woman. (No pun intended)
No bro make your progeny and keep adding value to the world via your son
Marriage troubles me because of how vulnerable and risky it is for a man. We are loved conditionally while everyone else women, children, pets are loved unconditionally. Even if we try and do our best we may still end up being cheated on or have a divorce. There isn’t only a mental risk but a major financial risk. I’ve come to the conclusion that I want kids and I want to bear the burden of a family although finding the right partner especially in today’s society is very difficult. In conclusion, be picky with who you choose and keep improving yourselves.
I’m a woman and I definitely agree with you on that.
The financial part is true and it’s one of the big reasons marriages don’t last, that’s why it’s important to build a strong foundation of economical freedom before you settle down, that will set a solid ground. The cheating part is tricky because there are so many causes, but it sums down to desire and decision making from a “self respect” point of view. And it is hard to find a partner with a self respect that isn’t affected and reformed by society and its new standards of human rights that misleads the people. The chances for a committed relationship is getting harder to create With the new vision of the free “man”
@@tannerjoust1263 In a sense the vast majority of men are victims, we are treated as disposable by society, we still have to conform to traditional gender roles otherwise we won't progress in our working and relationship part of life, meanwhile women have both options to be both traditional and modern, and they can achieve the same.
I grew up thinking women are victims, and that we must protect them at all cost, I am and unfortunately still go along better with women, and as I grow older I am realising more and more how disposable I am and how much shit I'm fed every day.
I should talk about my feelings, but at the cost that most women will see it as weakness and the moment I did it with a friend with whom we had something going on, it took the downward spiral, and because it was a bad time in my life I admit I got a bit needy, but now I'm just friend.
The patriarchy , this needs no explanation why it's bullshit.
Wage gap, same.
It's ok not to be sexually experienced, yet I've been rejected for that and I unfortunately know my sister has only been with fuckbois and even told me she prefers someone inexperienced which is clearly bullshit.
And whenever I point out to a feminist who says she fights for equal rights why she doesn't care about some men specific issues, she says fight for them yourself.
My dad had an affair, which is very wrong, and for 4 years after that my mom was emotionally and physically abusive to him, she tried to blame him for my own mental problems, everything was his fault, luckily they have stopped now but knowing that if my dad, which what he did was very wrong but that's not the case now, would have asked for help after all the abuse he would be ridiculed and told to man up.
I've always wanted to have a family and get married, but as said the older I grow, I'm 25 now,
marriage seems like a prison which according to many, it is.
I’ve been there and I was so pro marriage before. I found out in the end that there is literally not one benefit to a man getting married. Before I could only see positives but I was blinded. There literally isn’t one benefit. It’s even worse in the social media age where people will feel there is always better out there. Prenups dont work and the risk is all on the man. If not the man it is solely on the higher earner. I’d only get married in future if she literally is worth significantly more than me. Oh and yes I did believe in love etc. But as any lawyer will tell you ultimately it’s a contract and you signed everything away as a man when you signed that contract. All the best in your search. Just don’t get shamed into marriage.
@@tannerjoust1263 Oh no I didn’t mean to come off as a victim of have a victim mentality I was just being realistic and the wording may have been off but the responsibilities of taking care of a family can be very fulfilling if done correctly. I think people should continue to improve and take care of those around them. In my opinion and I don’t think it’s that controversial people should be 100% fine with themselves before a relationship much less a marriage. As a kid everything’s black and white the older we get the more we see all the shades of grey in the middle.
I’m 40 and I’ve never been married. Watching all my friends getting their first divorce these last ten years, all I can think is: God I’m lucky.
Lolll
Well said
Well you are kinda missing out on life because you are not investing in a relationship and not leaving a legacy whereas your friends took a leap of faith in love and built a family
@@ataa69120 That’s actually not true - I’m living a very full and happy life. I have had great romantic relationships (many of my ex’s I’m still friends with), I travel the world frequently solo and make new friends along the way, have built a rewarding career and have been self employed since the age of 24 and was able to buy a house myself. My friends who started families early in life now are struggling to even find affordable housing, time with their kids and the financial burdens they face. Now that many of those same people are single parents, it’s a life I wouldn’t really wish to ever have. Plus, my siblings have all had kids so the gene pool will carry on and I don’t have to worry about any “legacy”.
You are smart marriage is one of the biggest financial traps
The Recruiters point is so true! We’re all recruiters.
Indeed
Yes. I’ve never thought about it like that but I can see how that could be true. Perhaps it’s the “birds of a feather flock together “ mentality 🤔
WoW.. spot on...misery loves company
So true.
th-cam.com/video/k6GzKTVi2rE/w-d-xo.html 🙏
A woman will only leave you when she is convinced it will destroy you.
-Patrice O’Neal
This is gold
RIP the King
RIP to a fucking legend. If only he could see the world now 🤦🏾♂️
Damn
Truth
No wife
No divorce
No Alimony
No child support
Result happy life....😁😁😁😁
and you're a Punjabi??????????????? sikh? wow
@@harveyking5038So someone’s religion has anything to do with his opinion on marriage?
That's actually sad
No wife
Perfect life
@@pipo7822 just like your comment
Marry someone who was raised in a stable family. Always check the woman's relationship with her father and mother.
No LTR , No marriage , No cobabitation.
Facts
So true. I can't disagrer
@@FidoeFTW why? So they can loose everything they worked for
@@laaa210 I literally anybody who doesn't love you unless you marry them isn't worth your time, P E R I O D. What that guy said reminds me of those old sayings that further perpetuate generationally passed down sorrow.
My grandmother stayed with my grandpa through thick and thin, he's been a hardcore alcoholic since he was 12 sleeping on the street she's been with him ever since it told me she's suffered just because of "tradition" for reference my grandpa's 70 and he's still hammered 24/7 acting like a kid, don't try to change people just get as far away as possible.
Love when he said we need to stay in shape and be sexually attracted to each other, i hear many woman say he should love me for who i am which i hate that statement, you can't put on how many pounds and still feel im gnna be sexually attracted to you, madness on both end, not bringing your best version of urself.
Those women are fat and hate themselves 🤣
Can’t love anyone when you hate yourself 🤣
It will come as a shock one day when you realize that everyone gets old. Looks fade, personality stays.
Health & fitness are great, but no one stays "the same" forever.
@@leann1234 they do if you look after yourself. No reason why not... KAREN
@@clairefitz3147 looks like you forgot the 'S' ... let me help you, there... KARSEN :)
My grandparents sure changed after 50+ years of marriage & I notice some of the same happening, going on 10 years with my man. You can believe what you want to tho ;)
@@leann1234 love it 🤗🤗
I learned some difficult, painful lessons in my last relationship and it's made me stronger and resilient. I think relationships and marriages don't work out because we all have trauma that we don't deal with. If your parents had a dysfunctional relationship when you were growing up it's more than likely that you will too. You say to yourself 'i will never be like them' and years later you end up in the same position. The past is prologue. Unless you have learned from your mistakes and gone through self development and therapy you will keep making the same mistakes. Repeating the same pattern. So deal with your issues on your own and improve your relationship with yourself first. Then think about a relationship with someone else.
You hit in on the nail !!
D
Well said
Wise words 🙏🏻
💯
"Married people like to recruit to the married community,"
Holy sheet, that's a golden nugget of knowledge right there! Thank you!!
Yes, misery loves company.
Like the old saying goes "Misery loves company!".
The risk is too high for men. There needs to be two changes.
1. Limit alimony to one month for every year of marriage.
2. Limit child support to 10% of your net income per child, (DNA test upon request).
10% for the first child with the additional percentages getting progressively smaller for additional children. (Assuming all of the children are with 1 women)
Father’s don’t always pay child support. Men should also reevaluate the way they relate to women so they won’t get left.
@@skylarwright6019 lmao? 95% chance men pay child support. Maybe yall wo-men should watch your damn moutg
I'm not even a dude but I agree. I saw my male cousin get used and abused by his gold digging status and attention seeking wife and now the aftermath is heavy. That isn't right at all
Im way past these sorts of half measures. If women want men to return to marriage, then the price is in the event of a divorce, the father automatically receives primary custody with no exceptions, and alimony is limited to five years. That's it. And I won't bother wasting time trying to bargain, either.
Don’t get married before 30 at least. Couldn’t agree more
Don't get married period until they change divorce laws.
@pap pana Don't get married, ever.
@Eitan Rabinovich lol
I have a better idea.NEVER get married and never stop banging 304's.
Why get married when most of yall not even religious
This conversation is so deep. Every man should operate the same way this guest has operated when choosing a wife. A man must look for a woman who is not only beautiful, but who will be an asset and not a liability.
That’d eliminate 80% of women. You understand this right?
@@JohnSmith-cz3us Thats the point mate... the more selective a collective becomes the more it raises the bar and the higher the quality over time. We currently suffer the opposite problem, men have no standards and aren't selective, many just want sex at all costs, so the market is saturated with entitled single mothers, usually over weight and have nothing to offer that expect a lot. 100 years ago no man would accept that, so the quality of women was higher.
@@SWIFTzTrigger perfectly said. I agree. 💯
@@SWIFTzTrigger Most women like me would make damn good wives but a man wouldn't look at me that way because I'm not Instagram model level hot. Guys want their cake and eat it too, and don't comprise which is why they will stay single or in busted relationships.
@@taylorthenatural5509 why do you think you would make a good wife?
This guy dished out so many gems in such an elegant way wow
Agree now I understand why he’s worth 9 figures
There's plenty more where that came from, he's a really fascinating guy. I suggest you check out his TH-cam channel Valuetainment. I've learned a lot from watching him and the guests he interviews
that's called great life experience and plenty of introspective thinking for ya
Sadly, many of his "gems" will be left on the ground because some dudes are too blind to see and too lazy to bend down.
Notice he didn't degrade the women he dated before....
This guy Hafeez is really smart and has a good air about him. Hope he's doing well
As a man of 25 years old I refuse to get married or have children until I know I made it in life! By that I mean, I have to a house, a truck and my own business making money for me every week! That’s the criteria I set up for myself. My parents ask me if I’m every going to find a woman and I say yes! All in due time! I’m not ready for a relationship but I am ready for sex. Two different things. That’s why I have to continue working on myself! I told myself that I wasn’t going to waste my 20’s. I was going to work hard up until my 30’s so I can have a better life.
Ur coming from that. With. A. Negative mindset and remember everything. That starts. With. Sex. Will. Get. You burned
Perfectly said
Unfortunately most wives become extremely apprehensive to intimacy after the honeymoon is over while your obligation to provide for her and show her affection is still legally enforced. When ever a wife wants her husband to buy her designer handbags or jewellery his response should be “not this year honey I have a headache” that will give her a dose of her own medicine.
Keep your eyes open for a marriageble women though, keep it a guide rather than a rule.
I have 3 sons. Me and my husband said the same things to them. Two are now engineers and getting ready to purchase a home. No girlfriends in sight. But they are now in a position tobe successful when they choose a wife.
You hear how this guest went into marriage with purpose and a mature masculine growth mindset.
A relationship will evolve and individuals will change, therefore, Marriage is only for mature individuals who mutually accept responsibility and respect towards themselves and one another in the knowledge that both individuals are flawed and imperfect and both individuals need to hold each other respectfully accountable.
Furthermore, if you don't know self or have a strong identity, you will never know how to choose a suitable mate.
Thank you
🎯
Yes, a level headed mature man who is not emotional about marriage.
@black wolf101 haha you’ll still find a reason to cheat if that’s what you want to do. I personally know a couple that had a threesome and she left him for the woman lol. He would also be the point of contact which created problem. You won’t be problem free at all.
Marriage is just business sold by the church. You don't need a piece of document to build deep relationship or family. I think people want to add "extra security" on their relationship because they have doubts or trust issues on their partner.
Just don't get married. A contract with someone who benefits from breaking it does not make sense
@Nóra Jánosi it’s depressing. Divorce rate, affairs, broken families & single parenting is too common. Probably why it’s like that now. Kids are growing up with liberal extremists mindsets from their mothers without knowing the cons of them.
right
Doesn’t make sense not even a lil bit
Perfectly said.
@Nóra Jánosi i hope you find your happiness, Nóra.
The real test comes when you get your first child which has constant belly pain and is awake all night.
The 2nd test comes when u both are middle aged and the kids are no longer living at home..
First child was a walk in the park. Having my second child was challenging because Having to manage both.
His women is great because she listened to him, women don't want to listen. This man is great, his woman wanted a great man
Man good point
Most women would get mad, that a man doesn’t want to help them pay their bills
Also, take note that he had somthing real important to say that he can back up. As a woman, she has to feel that conviction when you speak to her and that comes from having your shit together. A wise woman will not follow a fool.
@@sylvesterhurt447 🎯
The reason the guest speaker's wife listened to him is because he made her feel comfortable, secure and protected. When a woman feel those things then she can be vulnerable. The guest speaker also provided his wife a practical solution her problems. His wife is able to be submissive because he exemplifies strong leadership abilities. The reason this dynamic works is because they are not in a codependent relationship. You are worthy of the love you desire. However, when you say that women don't listen. You are simply telling the universe that this is type of woman you want to attract in your life. So speak a different narrative.
His wife is a great listener. Also, take note that he had somthing real important to say that he can back up. As a woman, she has to feel that conviction when you speak to her and that comes from having your shit together. A wise woman will not follow a fool.
Wow- felt that
Yes sir!
Factsss
dude, whatever, you guys are still in love with your make believe picture of these girls. Never wanting to join the rest of us in this very very harsh REALITY.......
Women ain't "wise" dude
if you have to lie to a woman to earn her love.....
then I think you're a joke....and so is your "Love"
Patrick Bet-David is a very smart man. Eloquent, clear ideas. He should be more famous. His youtube channel is a gold mine
I couldn't have said it better. Patrick is great. Love watching his podcasts on youtube
They forgot to mention the reasons why relationships & marriages fail. Is because the sex wars that go on social all being fueled by heartless man & woman who have failed at relationships so now everyone has the same fate according to them. Now add 2 narcissistic people or 1 narcissistic person to what you think would be a loving relationship and your just fooling no one but yourself since your letting the devil in. That goes for both men and women who can't control their emotions and anger and can't balance decision-making out in a relationship. Everyone is willing to brag about marriage and relantships about how good or bad they can be. But not many will understand about the long-term commitment sacrifice and teamwork that so-called friendships involve to keep evolving. So if you're already dealing with a person who can't understand these things or maybe you're the one who can't understand these things. Why do you go raw during sex and end up in the same bandwagon like everyone else you knew before you? What did you think having children would change the equation and fix your marriage or relationship? Why did you both not seek counseling before making such plans?
I wanted say the same thing about him about him he so insightful and brilliant.
I'm proud to say he's my CEO
Don’t get married unless something big changes in family court
That's a real woman, it takes a lot of guts, humility especially for a female to let go of the pride and ego returning the BMW and settling down cheaper for a better day, much respect.
They not built like that anymore these days. She’d argue with you about why you can’t just pay her bills
Well, we can never know her real thoughts. Maybe she just realized how it would look if she asked for money.
Facts
Is financial literacy not a thing anymore?
@@cryptohouse1676 truth. maybe she was playing the long game. Either way, it looks like it worked out for her.
One of the few men who has MASTERED all the major aspects of manhood. 🐐
This guest speaker is saying so much truth, especially the part about who you would call in a fight. I remember getting into an argument with my fiancée and I called my mom to vent. Not only did my mother put me in my place, she also took his side. That was very eye opening for me. My parents have both been married for 25+ years lol.
Mums who G check their daughters whims are in short supply today if anything they encourage the fuckery.
Luckily I have achieved my goal of not to have kids out of wedlock(am weirdo like that ) So no need to ever go down that rabbit hole ever again. Rather try my luck Dodgeing raindrops while being fired upon by machine guns from all sides.
Kinda sad tho cuz kids really do thrive in marriage.
Maybe best thing to do is not to give each other dilemmas so close to home.
We neeed to normalize telling women when they are in the wrong, or need to get a reality check, i think society allows women to believe theitmr perfect even when they do wrong, you never learn.
It’s better when you’re parents are married! My mom is single and bitter! Not going to work.
Wow...if we had a whole society of fathers and mothers that were this wise, what would we have as society? Count your blessings.
That's Bet David. Check out his TH-cam channel he's very popular and SPEAKS COMMON SENSE.
His TH-cam is Valuetainment Podcast
I got into a huge debate at work saying that you should keep yourself attractive for your significant other and the whole room said I was wrong it shouldn’t matter! Thanks man you proved my point
With all respect I think you and your coworkers are both wrong. Stay in shape and be attractive for yourself. Women come and go.
We live in an era that's trying to normalize laziness and mediocrity. Expect any idea that requires people to have to get up and do something to be met with a response like that. They all know it matters. They're just terrified of the idea of having to invest time and energy into keeping themselves healthy. It's a chore. When they say it shouldn't matter, they're actually saying "but I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna 😭"
@@JGLCSW Pretty much the same thing by being attractive for your self you benefit from your significant other and the next woman.
@@JGLCSW and that’s why your single” woman come and go” maybe look at the reason you can’t keep a woman n offer anything to allow her to stay
@@localjunckieasmr9207 How do you know I am single? People/women come and go in your life. Be better for yourself, not to impress anyone else. Workout, eat healthy, read, etc for yourself, not for the Gram, or for someone else. A good version of you will be attractive to others.
I look back at life before the internet and think how clueless we all were.
What you dont know can, and will hurt you ;___;
People were happier
@@yr2180doubt that tbh
Man I'm grateful I was born and raised in the Caribbean…family values and loving homes were the standard for most of us with fewer influences...things have changed now but at least there were some great women available ....social media and the urban influence has distorted what marriage was truly intended for. Now everyone out here being shiesty.
Being from The Bahamas I 100% agree. But I now live in the u.s and for the most part that’s not the case here at all.
@@officiallydreama4412 same here !!🇧🇸🇧🇸🇧🇸🙏🏿
Yea family values is still here and feminism ain’t take over and most likely never will power to all my bruddas💯✊🏾
Where in the Caribbean are you from because its the same way not as bad as America but its not sweet either.
@black wolf101 yea man it isn’t the same anymore because of social media it use to be amazing though ...God bless all my brothers in the US but it seems like family values has gone out the window for good ..and the world has been affected by it
My Pops has been married to my mother for over 40 years. One thing he taught me about marriage is that if everything is going well, the man gets no credit but if it fails the man is to blame. We have a burden to carry
This is facts! Hes a wise man
not always
@@OHCAM5 yeah it is I never seen otherwise
@@OHCAM5 your in denial...
From my perspective, men in marriages have some to gain and everything to lose, while women have little to lose and everything to gain, ESPECIALLY with divorce. That said, you have people getting married not understanding that it’s a commitment for life, and that both people are supposed to support each other. You got people marrying after having met like 3 months ago, or just cuz some guy knocked up his girlfriend. Basically they’re marrying for the wrong reasons and are too stupid to realize the gravity of their decisions.
Men should get married only to women who know how to add value to a marriage; someone who wants to build a life together, not just someone to pay her bills.
Too bad no such women exist.
Nothing but symbolism.
Just wondering , what would men like women a bring to a marriage that is valuable?
Lol
@@ruthn2054 Fidelity, being supportive, very nurturing, thoughtful/giving, being able to cook and carefree.
i love how real he is. although the truth does hurt. like he said you can do everything “right” and still get your heartbroken. it scares me.
I understand. I'm a woman and can relate. I tried to love unconditionally and put my all into it but it wasn't enough and I was heartbroken left in the dust
Am looking for a serious man white who will not break my heart
Wow, so many misconceptions here. Here some reasons why I got married:
- She loves and respects me and I love her.
- She gives me confidence, she is my biggest fan, she makes me feel like a real man, which helps me in the workfield too.
- I have someone to share ANYTHING with, whether it is temptation through porn, something difficult at work or my dream of having a sailboat. She doesn't judge me and helps me to get through things. Someone who knows your soul is priceless.
- You don't have to go through challenges alone.
- You have a best friend to do fun stuff with.
- We can have and raise children together, give them love, confidence and a toolkit to be worldchangers.
- Sex is soooo much more intense, authentic and passionate if you do it with your soulmate who never judges you or walks away. You have time to explore also. Even if you have a bad session, just improve next time and celebrate it. It's a nice process.
- Lastly, a big reason for me (maybe not for you), I honor God and understand more about what unconditional love is.
Guys, don't be fooled. Think for yourself. It's not all an economic question. Also, take your time to find a high-quality woman. Don't have sex too quickly (maybe even wait until marriage?), because then you are not blinded by your lust or her appearance and see the red flags much earlier.
Cheers!
Well said and very true!
The biggest point that I got out of what you said and is by far the most important thing to have established in our lives is allowing God to be our foundation. If we are building our house on a rock then it will be solid but if we are building it on sand (worldly standards/values) then it will fall.
We are not afraid of marriage man we are afraid of DIVORCE. Tell me man what is the benefit of the government getting involved in a marriage which is supposed to only be between a man and a women AND god??
Because he’s a Christian.
Congratulations, you have an awesome wife!
However, we are complaining about the current divorce laws. We are scared of losing our children and being financially ruined.
Like you, I have significant faith in God and in my afterlife. However, I need fair laws for my earthly existence.
You sir, are a rarity! Never change that. Congratulations on you and your wife's marriage! :D
The quality in this 15 minutes is unbelievable! Forwarding this to all my young kings!
#Nonnegotiable
Get married if you are willing to take on the risks that come with another human being having divorce laws in their favor. If you are comfortable with that, have fun.
also dont minimise the risk of over indulgence or the value of a good woman.
@@sharenalynn can be trowing out the window in court room, and its not only fanatical risks in marriage, emotional risks, and freedom, she can accuse you of physical abuse or sexual abuse, if she want to revenge, and they will believe her, talking from experience.
@@sharenalynn they get thrown out daily.
Women take risk by having their husbands child. The risk of death for black women during child birth is high. In addition, the time she takes off work to raise the children puts her behind professionally. So, let’s say she walks away with half the proceeds of the sale of their home and part of her now ex husband’s retirement because he wanted a younger woman, totaling about $50,000 after say 2 kids and ten years of marriage. Now let’s say he wasn’t a high earner, child support around $400 a month for both kids, and she’s been out of the work force for ten years helping him build but things didn’t come into fruition. Now this divorced mom of two needs to start over at 40 something to find a home, employment and stability for the children who only sees the kids on the weekend when him and his new play thang ain’t busy. There’s risk in every thing, but I think death takes the cake!
@@trinab9587 thats another reason why men should avoid marriage, so you dint risk during pregnancy and dont fall behind in yoyr career, win win.
“My mom was a Communist, My Dad was an imperialist.”
“The Divorced community wants to recruit into the divorce community.”
“Win your existing loyal people over, and NEVER disrespect them.”
Bruh...that’s some God-Level Insight.
“The Divorced community wants to recruit into the divorce community.”
The single most powerful and insightful comment of the entire interview.
Just want more clarity on this statement. Does that mean people just want to create echo chambers of people just like them because misery loves company?
@@chamber1083 It's more that people trust their judgment and experience more than reason and resonate with those in similar circumstances.
Trust me, if you've ever been cheated on by someone that you loved and this led to a divorce where they happily moved on, when your kids/friends speak of "falling in love" or find trouble in their relationships, your trauma will usually 'recruit' them to your mindset.
Patrick Bet-David is a monarchist, too. He hates Iran, and fondly remembers the days when the Shah was selling the country to the Western powers.
I’m 29 and I’m reminded by my older peers (40+) to never get married. They also say if i must marry, don’t even think about it until 40. Also, they say the single best thing in life is freedom and being single.
I d simply suggest you to start reading your Bible and communicating with God/ listen to His advices towards you more, than you listen to your friends...)
@@vblam6604 can god you a better wife ?
See past Friday. You can share your life with someone, but not be committed to the Government contract. Stay single, and retire in your late 40s and early 50s. Life is great.
@@aphiwemncube1550 Asking for a friend......define "selfish" by deciding not to sign the government contract (aka marriage license)?...How does that make one selfish? I'm curious...
Selfish, to me, would be getting married, and then "taking the pack off" because "I got him/her". I can gain weight, not look my best, not have to be on my best behavior, and "accept me for the way I am". Living with someone without the government contract requires each party to be on their best behavior, improve themselves, not let themselves go physically.
They might regret that latter in life. Also at 40 no one may want you and having kids are less likely.
35 y/o here, never married or had kids. Paid off house and growing portfolio. Couldn’t picture life with the burden of a wife or kids.
Just remember you can't take none of that with you.......money and wealth are great but with no one to share it with. Just misery in a nice house.
Your poor parents... no grands to look forward to.
Why the shaming guys? There are many guys who wanted a family but actually live alone in financial ruin due to divorce.
@@iud3110 You can’t take your wife and kids with you either, so not sure how that’s relevant.
I’m single and I share my wealth with my girlfriend, just never going to get married. We’re going to Hawaii in 2 weeks and going to have a blast.
@Sareem J Thank you. I don’t plan to have children, and to clarify I do not cohabitate with my GF. I’m 40 and feel like I’m good not reproducing, as I can live a happy and full life just with GF(s).
If a man wants to have children then I do believe marriage is the way to go. The only good reason to get married is to have kids and start a family, as I’m not a fan of single mothers and broken homes, as kids do poorly in that environment.
Patrick is unique person.. he talks in details ..deeply hits to my soul..
The love between my parents taught me marriage is about being happy and successful and decided to share them with your significant. So start with yourself first
This literally has to be the highest value in a podcast I have seen. Just amazing. Keep it coming guys:)
Omit 'literally'. It's superfluous.
13:30 I compromised my ''NO MATTER WHATS'' before getting married and that's what was the cause of dying marriage that finally ended. A lot of that comes down to sex before marriage as it has the ability to clouds your judgement. I think that sex before marriage is a really bad idea, especially for a man, because you are unable to assess a woman on her character and you don't marry sex appeal you marry character. You enjoy sex appeal but you deal with a character most of the time.
Thank you for sharing
Amen.
@Gus Fring Los Pollos Hermanos Chicken, Crystal Meth Well I am currently finishing one divorce where we started by being active before marriage so I guess I can only tell you about how it works out the next time when i get married to someone without sex before marriage.
@Gus Fring Los Pollos Hermanos Chicken, Crystal Meth And no Sex After Marriage is not the silver bullet to save marriage. That is picking the right person, at the right time and still putting in the work. In order to pick right you have to know her well and also you need to know yourself because you will be able to deal with red-flags better. However, if you are in a place where you lack an IDENTITY and then you engage in SEXUAL Relationships without the ultimate commitment you are highly unlikely to do a proper character assessment simply because you have now put sex and booty on the table and matched that against her character and that is a case of your short term mind battle with long term factors and short-term gratification mostly win in that battle. Added to this the Domapine rush of SEX is higher than work and Alcohol and thus its ability to dominate your mind especially with her as the source is very difficult to assess her long term and objectively. Your decision making process will be compromised.
@Gus Fring Los Pollos Hermanos Chicken, Crystal Meth Calm down. I am saying it creates a barrier that stops or impedes you from being able to spot or deal with red flags before going in. That's what I mean by clouds your judgement. When judging whether to stay in a relationship or progress to marriage sex should not be a factor. Its something 2 people can work on in a marriage but it should not be the selling point because it can blind you from things you desperately need to fix and deal with... Also it becomes an easy way to get out of FIGHTS.
What's the incentive for a man???
just feel good that you have someone to protect, having such purpose for a man is important.
@@namchu7351 It's not important at all actually
@@JoseRamirez-ew7vq it would say it is before, until now where the negative side takes over
@@JoseRamirez-ew7vq 😂😂😂
@@namchu7351 Thats the instinct men have just like hypergamy in women. Modern technology and society has made those instincts null and void.
I am not even married but this is the best advise anyone can get!!! THX PBD
im 36 years old i never dated i was singel all my life i dont need kids i dont need a wife i dont need to get married. im already doomed to be singel forever i dont trust a woman to be with and i enjoy singel life.
Two-time divorce' here, first was 18 years which almost broke me, the second was 5 years and purely out of loneliness (The WORST reason ever!). Fast forward 7 Years with no marriage and no LTRs, focusing and becoming the best version of myself, and couldn't be happier!
Thanks for sharing
@@aidan9656 - Going to take a wild guess here and say that if he was a female saying the exact same thing, your comment would be much different.
@@aidan9656 Aren't you victim blaming?
Outstanding Jeff!!! Glad to hear it!
@@aidan9656 amazing! The Guy made a comment about how happy he is, and all you can do is somehow try and find a way to blame him for waking up. Wow. Just wow.
Damn that story about his Wife and her debt is crazy!
Indeed
Lol most women are in debt. I have a friend. She's drowning but not sure she's realized it yet
@@lightbringer9940 well ur supposed to be her Beta Simp and save her 😂
her wife follows his frame, just like rollo talks about HIS WIFE ASKS HIM whether she can buy a gift for herself.
SHE MUST FOLLOW YOUR LEAD.
She knew he was testing her😂😂 women know exactly how to secure a long term bag especially at close to 30 years old
So long as the risk of divorce remains astronomically high for men to end up in financial ruin the lower marriage rates will continue to go.
Yup! That’s the reality of it.
This. Divorce can destroy a man's wealth
@@mwafrika4 It's super risky. I don't believe in divorce but today's Western women will do it in a heartbeat or cheat.
@black wolf101 likely because marriage rates are down. Can’t get divorced if you don’t get married in the first place.
@black wolf101 No its not. The pandemic caused it to increase quite a bit last year. A lot of couples got tired of being in quaranteed together and had to call it quit. Domestic violence increased too
Marriage is like a Tornado - In the beginning there's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house
😯😀😀🤣🤣🤣💯💯!
Lmao
Till death do us both
🤣
This is my next tattoo.
LMAO
I stumbled onto this video by curiosity on my path to bettering myself, and this guy is so authentic and well spoken, and it makes so much sense having your close circle tell you to support your partner, and if both of you are getting that response, it will only bring you closer instead of separating you
Pat: We as men want to live thousands of years
Depression: Allow me to introduce myself
Hello Brother Hafeez,
This is your brother from East Africa. This is content is so great and insightful. I have learned a lot from Patrick.
Ahsante sana.
Jambo kaka. E. A representing
What a great interview!! As a guy who settled my first marriage this is gold
I've listened to this man interview people, talk about finances, give life advice, but never have I heard him talk about relationships. Truly a fantastic person to listen to.
My wife and I are having a son- due April 13.
I’ve never been so excited in my life.
I went from living at home and unemployed with my parents to getting an MBA, great career, marriage, bought a house, and now with a kid on the way in 5 years- and I’m only middle of the road intelligent ect.
It’s possible for all of you.
Amazing!
You are just at the beginning. Pray for your future, that whatever challenge comes you will pass through it, because they will come. I have seen friends have kids and immediately have problems afterwards, so am hoping for the best for you.
I don't care about your wife or children
If you don't mind me asking what is your Ethnicity?
bro......plenty of divorce happens 10+ years into the marriage.....ya'll gotta stop acting so goddamn arrogant. Stay married for 50 years THEN COME TALK TO US
I wish I could up-vote this twice! I'm 27, I was together for 6 years, engaged for two when she left me at 24. The part about instant venting and scarring hit deep. this has given me a lot of insight. I'll take the advise and wait at least 3 more years. After that, now I know what to look out for. Thank you guys.
EDIT: Subbed
Being tied down to someone you might no longer be attracted to especially given how common obesity is becoming, is a scarier prospect to me than the financial stuff.
Obesity is high with US women, average weight for women is over 170 pounds.
Its true. So many men mainly want their wives to look good but dont do anything about their own looks. They have a beer belly, bad skin, dont care for their dental health, dont keep up with modern fashion, and dont do anything with their hair. They still use 3 in one body wash (body, face, shampoo).
This guy was very enjoyable to watch. His articulation, voice, content, everything was great.
@Anurag Chakraborty Ummm, he's right though. It may be a simple contract but it's very difficult to keep a marriage together nowadays.
I’m the product of two outstanding marriages -> parents’ and grandparents’. Grandparents have been married for 63 years. Two amazing people. I know marriage can be a lifelong wonderland and I wish my friends the best when they go down that road. BUUUUUUT definitely not my thing lol
Short answer : no
Long answer : NOOOOOOOOOOO
Hell NO!!!
hilarious
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂
You must be young lol
@@thabesttheris I was 21 when I decided to never get married, now I'm 47 and that was the best decision of my life.
A very profound conversation from an enlightened man. More men should be like this.
Definitely don't marry chick who doesn't add to u , or has value
Indeed
People should bring value to their partners lives and be an asset not a liability.
@@maxwellanderson007 maybe you've been in shitty relationships and need to heal from your past. There could be some bitterness that left you hurt and jaded. A quality partner & healthy relationship should always bring value and growth to your life. There's some real hating on women energy. It could be the energy you're attracting.
@@maxwellanderson007 I'm sensing a lot of toxic masculinity and self hatred from you. Take care! I don't think you'll attract any quality women hating females. You clearly were hurt and may want to resolve that before dating.
@@anitaknight3915 I sense a lot of toxic feminity and toxic feminist thinking man-hating and using stupid terms that are sexist
It's funny my parents will be married for 40 years come June. My dad always ask how come I don't have a girlfriend, and I tell him that things are different now, compared to the time my parents meet each other, back in 1979. What's even crazier, is that they meet at their job, which today is a big "NO NO".
I feel you bro. My family is always bugging me about a girlfriend. Kinda hard to find a good woman nowadays. They all seem to be on that onlyfans app. I aint tryna get with a girl like that.. this generation is messed.
My mom is just getting it now, how modern women are and how dangerous it is.. Sure, we are of the white community but it's still the same across race, marriage being such a risk to us and thus our mothers.. She will not see the home we worked for (2500 sq. Foot duplex so we have very seperate living spaces and entrances, on 3/4 an acre lot) go up in smoke to some floozy in a divorce court...
Who in there right mind would put a thumbs down to valuetainment. He was Kevin Samuels before Kevin Samuels.
Facts my friend
Yep bc they don't know about Pat and how he rose to the top. I've been watching him for years...chock full of good stuff all the time!
Kevin samuels could never...this was an amazing and uplifting conversation.
@@mrod87 💯 facts
Nah pat is way better
I am 50 and still single and lived to tell about it. Perhaps someday I will find the right person but if not I will live to tell about it when I am 80. So glad I have a positive perspective.
Tell me a bit more about your single life, Matt? Not to troll, just curious :)
@@sbc4434 hmm you might have something there
@@sbc4434 I don't agree that every woman is that way but I do agree getting married is very risky. Getting married is a roll of the dice and sometimes you get snake eyes and for some guys the venom also.
If you are going to get married, just make sure you have been dating the girl for a long time..
Most of these problems stem from guys marrying girls on the basis of attraction rather than logically analyzing how good of a life partner they would be, and using a solid, long track record for that.
Even that won't save you, there are still women that want divorce after being together for like 5 or 10+ years
It's still a difficult situation. Regardless of how long, a girl can fall out of love anytime at a flip of a switch. I've seen it happen more times I can count and it's happened to me with my ex girlfriend. It's more based on, trust and respect I feel. If she can't respect you enough she is bound to leave.
If you don’t want a divorce then maybe don’t act in ways that get you kicked to the curb.
She can and most likely will pull the bait and switch. Trust me I know first hand.
Exactly. A lot of women make great girlfriends but bad wives
I was married 25 yrs. In the last 15 years, she let herself go and kept spending/giving away all our money. I hated to... but I pulled the plug. Now I am debt free, and I get to build my wealth.
Marriage is work for both parties, if just one stops major problems begin. Otherwise, the rewards are wonderful.
That story he told about his wife is the reason he married her 💯😤💪🏾I would’ve did the same thing
If I think about the worst points in my life it has been involved in a relationship and when I think about the highest points in my life it has been as a single man handling my business!
I am a 33 year old and I am getting divorced from a 5 year marriage this year. But I agree with what he said about the importance of marriage to a young man.
Sorry to hear that. I'm on the verge of getting a divorce myself at the same age as you. Only two years however.
@@McGarthur Sorry to hear that. Its something I would wish on no man but I think we all need to be there for one another. I am through the worst of mine its just that in my country you have to live apart for 2 years before your divorce is approved so we are just waiting out the clock for the remainder of this year.
@SOUL SEEKER Keeps us from jumping in and out of marriages at will and gives optimal chances for cooling tempers to improve the chances of reconciliation.
@SOUL SEEKER I wish. we are still experiencing a rising divorce rate.
Marriage is meaningless to a young man. It literally offers him nothing except problems and headaches lol
This guy talks like one of those dudes who can persuade anybody...definitely convinced me and taught me a lot just now 👌🏽
this guy is beond wise. 14 minutes of him talking and I could sense an energy within me that I have lost over the last 5/6 years of my life. (I am 25 btw.)
43 yo, wrote two books, run a learner driver school and built the app for bookings , admin etc and plenty of teaching materials sold. Not married and don't want to.
And you have to tell the world that shows you want affirmation
@Nenenne Yws
Good point but not all women are the same, there are also good women out there who will value you and show you sincerety
3:42 GREAT POINT! Especially how a lot has changed in the last 40 years, specifically with this becoming a more connected world via these apps. Overall, this man is very insightful. All of his points are super valid
I’m going on 17 years of marriage with a good woman and I still don’t recommend marriage to men. Whatever so called benefits you get is under cut by what you give up in return. Also the benefits aren’t continuous or even a given but your part of the relationship is. Let me explain, about half of marriages end in divorce, about 80% of divorces is initiated by women, about 90% of those women get the children, child support and alimony. On top of that they get most to the property like the home with the furniture, car and about half of the savings. So after the relationship is over women still benefit and in most cases even do better while you do worse. She can get a job, another man and create 3 sources of revenue. Now if you defy the odds, you will have to work at the relationship day after day, year after year while still protecting and providing for her. On the other hand she can deny you the amount of children you want or children at all. She can deny you the amount of sex you want or sex at all. She can let herself go (Get Obese & Lazy) neglect the home, can disrespect, belittle you and there’s nothing you can really do. If marriage wasn’t a contract and the government stood out of it that would make it better but it is. Since divorced court, family court and even the police/authorities side heavily with women it’s best to voided the whole situation.
Damn 💔💔
Then why’d you get married?
As a MAN you sound kinda sexist and ignorant
@@jvjustvibes9103 I got married young before I knew anything about life, relationships, marriage and how men are treated by the government because of divorce. Then I found Dr Warren Farrell, MGTOW, The Red Pill, lived a little longer and now I know the harsh truth about relationships. Like I stated, I’m married to a good woman, yes we have our ups and downs but I consider myself luck so far. However I wouldn’t recommend marriage because my experience isn’t the norm. The risk out weigh the benefits in my estimation.
@@NYC1E1 ok
The amount of value in the podcast is unreal💯
The more I grow up, the more I understand how incredibly lucky I am with the happy marriage I have right now...
I said the same thing, but it won't last long, furthermore enjoy it before she takes to the court.
....right now....uh oh.
Enjoy your marriage man these 2 men who replied to your comment are just mad that they don't have a woman who loves them like you do
@@MrGengad lol that was cold, but truth
you are funny man
This man is spitting pure gold.
23, from India and I'm loving this content. I think we should keep in mind also to not just listen and then not put the work in.
Most of your marriages are arranged anyway.
@@emzywillrich7243 ehh....it depends from places to places. India is a weird one where you'll find oppressed vvomen in village but also promiscuous "entitled" vvomen in the metro cities. Where a lot of r*pe occurs but still a lot of fake r*pe cases and domestic violence against men is happening.
@@emzywillrich7243 Which, according to statistics, is much better than your "marriage by love". My gawd, seriously, you people need to realise that their is no such thing as "love at first sight", relationships are build over a long period of time. Arranged marriage, with knowledge of their characterisitcs, views, behaviour and personality, coupled with loyalty and a broad perspective is a real recipe for "true" marriage. Though this is only a "Secondary plan". The primary plan is that if u have a women/man u truly love and want to marry, then go for it. If not, then go for the secondary plan. Also, pre-martial relations are also a big reason for bad marriages, since due to the different demands, due to being with different people, people often expect things from people which they would expect from OTHER people, which is a big problem, along with TONS of other problems. Long rant, i know.
“Politics is even more important than religion” And there you have it folks, the reason I’m still single.
Politics is an extension of your value system to an extent, as is religion. The husband and wife have to be on a similar enough page for the relationship to work.
Both carry corruption
@@KiranSundarkdog97 boom
@@KiranSundarkdog97 right. And it’s deeper than about which way you vote. Comes down to values and how you see the world. Same with religion but he’s got a point on different religions having overlap.
Jesus is the only way to heaven
I’m 55, & going through a divorce after 22 years. We just grew apart. Im looking forward to the future.
Imagine you fall in love with a girl n you 2 get married, buy a house together, n have some kids. 10 years down the road everything seems great until one day you come home n she hands you divorce papers. Now your forced to move out of your house n still pay for that house that she n your kids can still live in. On top of that you lose primary custody of your kids n have to pay child support monthly n are reduced to limited visitation to your kids. She also claims to the court that she can't maintain her lifestyle that you once provided for her in the marriage n your now ordered to pay monthly alimony payments to her so she can achieve that lifestyle. Your also financially n legally responsible not only for your attorney fees, but hers as well. Now while all this is being handed down to you by the judge, he urges that you better make payments on time n in the full amount or you'll be subject to jail time for lack of payment. Now when someone asks me, "Why don't you wanna get married?" I look back to this scenario!
I'd like tp comment on : ``She also claims to the court that she can't maintain her lifestyle that you once provided for her in the marriage`` I feel like men like to be ``providers`` and therefore go with women who make less than them (sometimes by a long shot). The reality is this ``provider`` midnest is outdatted (coming from a woman hersefl), it's exteremly hard to live off one income (so let the women contribute as much as you do) so you have to find someone who makes as much money as you (if not more) so both of your lifestyles allign. That will remove the burden of financial contrainsts which is one of the major causes in failed marriages (I'm a daughter of divorced parents and my dad was the main provider until he couldn't beacuse he lost his job and decided to just leave us on our own beacuse he couldn't take care of the family anymore, if my mom had a salary like him or close their marriage would have worked out but my dad was facing too much financial problems and my mom was not doing much about because she couldn't make as mush as him and setlled for a life that was above her means ). Once that constraint is removed from the equation, the rest of the marriage depends only on how the 2 will behave, unfortunantly futur can not be predictied and people will change but if you remove any fiancial, material or physical problems (yes looks matter) when starting to date someone you'll have a good chance to be happy in your relationship. That's all, I just wanted to pinpoint the ``money problem`` :)
@@manelo.8906 Lemme pone a hole in your logic here. When a man makes more money, he spends it on his wife. When a woman makes more money, she thinks she doesn't need a man. Marrying a woman who makes more is always gonna be a long shot anyway. But, when a woman makes more, she usually thinks she's better than the man she's with
@@GhettoJohnWick exactly. She’ll get tired of always being “the man” and find someone who she think is better and will make more than her so she doesn’t have to work and provide anymore. It happens all the time
You forgot to add "sooner or later some other man is in your house plowing your ex and living rent free".
On top of that you will discover the kids are not yours so by the time you are retiring you lost the women the house the kids the saving
62?!?!? I thought my man was in his 30s, hope to be successful too one day
He's not 62. He was giving the hypothetical example of someone who is challenging him by saying they were "happily married" at 22-- with different a set of external conditions four decades ago.
He’s 42
I'm 35 never married, love being single and has made me be intentional about my relationships with the opposite sex. I still experience intimacy and closeness and have beautiful memories and experiences with women. Relationships are an excuse to be lazy and lose our passions and drive. Deal with the discomfort of loneliness it builds more character and women sense that and want to be around it.
Today's generation is a different cloth. I've been with my lady since high school
Word!
She probably cheated once
Thanks for the inspiration sir.
Maybe you found a good one
@@igpxmaster why would she? I've seen and talked to her parents and they don't like nobody trust me
@@llewellynjameskinnaird2741 yeah I did
This true if I ever get married I’ll rather be with someone that contributing into my process than taking away from it. Marriage is sticky but it can work if you think with your big head instead your little one. Keep bossing up
That’s gonna be hard to come by
@@harorider96 I wonder is there a way around this but still have yo shorty on your side
Patrick married his wife because she has submissive characteristics and actually LISTENS which is hard to find in females nowadays
She didn’t submit to him... she submitted to the money. Make food money, set your terms & boundaries, find someone who’s wit it and lock them in.
@@sylvesterhurt447 lol I said “submissive characteristics” bro, but that’s a good point too
@@VonKarryon1 ok makes sense lol
@black wolf101 the masculinity is crazy
But that can change over night. Not worth it.
It’s not tough to be faithful, especially if you have faith🤣
I feel sorry for all the couples who rely on sex to keep them happy in a relationship.. a medical condition one day could stop one or the other from being able to and then what? All those years are thrown out the window I guess .. such shallowness in relationships nowdays
So true. That’s why nothing works anymore.
Actually he just gave a really good case for not getting married. I like his points, but the emotional baggage and lack of relationship skills are just too difficult to think any relationship lasts.
This is advice is priceless! The real life examples are great lessons for a man to use in his own life
Gotta build yourself up first📈
Got to level up 👆🆙👆
Thank you for I introducing me to Patrick Bet-David! He enlightened/incorporated me to some wisdom that I feel changed me in a way I didn’t even realize I needed change in. I now want to practice his practices, so wise!
That was the best video and advice about Marriage ive ever seen like seriously. I don’t have 3 non negotiables but i have 2 as of right now. She can’t have kids with anyone before me and she can’t do drugs.
Having valuetainment on this channel is a sure sign that it's blowing up
More I learn about Pat the more I respect him!