My absolutely top new favourite TH-cam channel! Thank you Dr Thomas for your effort, great research, and neat presentation of ideas. Always pleasure to watch and learn more :)
Thank you for making this video!! This is exactly what’s been on my mind lately! I also think that discovering and not “reinventing” yourself doesn’t mean identifying more with your old habits or your old familiar negative self image, which is what I think some people misunderstand and why most people like the idea of “reinventing” themself instead of “discovering” themself, because they think discovering themself means they can’t be who they want to be. I used to think “being myself” meant sticking more to my habitual self/the negative way I’ve seen myself most of my life and that being anything but that way wasn’t being my true self, because that negative view of yourself feels familiar, but that doesn’t mean it’s your true self just because it feels familiar to see yourself in that negative bias way. I agree that discovering yourself is a combination of where you realistically currently are (your strengths, weaknesses/struggles), as well as accepting it by being okay with the fact that you are at the moment where you are and also that you can make changes to go in the direction you want to go, how you want to improve to be more in line with your values.
I just experienced a brutal end to a relationship, which in hindsight was trauma bond. It hit me just how much I didn’t know myself and how I was living vicariously through her. I really appreciate this timely material! Thank you Thomas
I’m interested to hear more if you’re willing to share. What came to light about yourself and how did you access it? It has occurred to me that perhaps I don’t know myself nearly as much as I thought. Hearing from someone else might help me to connect with the kinds of things that there are to know. Hope that makes sense. Cheers
I've been trying to work on myself for years now and I only could really find a little more self compassion when I looked at myself as a character in a book.
Thank you for this incredibly insightful and well-researched video! The writing prompts will be incredibly helpful to me and I will also check out your Negative Emotion Differentiation video.
Yes listening at 1 speed is slow. I feel like my brain starts getting distracted and I can’t focus. When at 2.0+ I concentrate more. My family thinks I’m crazy.
Dr Thomas! Is this somehow related to the self-discrepancy theory? or is it aside? I sometimes struggle seeing myself as I tend to see myself a bit blended with other selves like I can't quite point out what's real and not. A couple of friends of mine have mentioned to me, that I'm a perfectionist. To me is so strange, I don't see this trait in me any longer, so sometimes I get a bit mixed on how others see me (somehow, better) than I see myself. How do we accurately identify what is actually the real us?
Therapy, in the UK, is a huge FU** NO! People in the UK don't go to therapy just because we don't like ourselves - that's an American thing. Problem with the rhird person perspective is that you will have biases and dismiss positive traits. When you said it, i baulked and nearly vomited.
I’m not sure what you are trying to say. If you are miserable the best thing to do is bear it with dignity? That doesn’t work for a lot of people who really value not being miserable and Americans even dare to be happy.
@nyob1985 Because, instead of looking inside yourself for answers as to why you are the way you are, and engaging in what's called 'shadow work ' - which most Americans (or people in general) can't be bothered working on, because it's long and not easy, tge quickest 'fix' is to see a therapist. In the UK, it's culturally different - here if you see a therapist it's like admitting to yourself and the world that you are a failure, a nutbag, or severely screwed up (or the ultimate ego trip attention seeker).
My absolutely top new favourite TH-cam channel! Thank you Dr Thomas for your effort, great research, and neat presentation of ideas. Always pleasure to watch and learn more :)
Thank you for making this video!! This is exactly what’s been on my mind lately!
I also think that discovering and not “reinventing” yourself doesn’t mean identifying more with your old habits or your old familiar negative self image, which is what I think some people misunderstand and why most people like the idea of “reinventing” themself instead of “discovering” themself, because they think discovering themself means they can’t be who they want to be. I used to think “being myself” meant sticking more to my habitual self/the negative way I’ve seen myself most of my life and that being anything but that way wasn’t being my true self, because that negative view of yourself feels familiar, but that doesn’t mean it’s your true self just because it feels familiar to see yourself in that negative bias way.
I agree that discovering yourself is a combination of where you realistically currently are (your strengths, weaknesses/struggles), as well as accepting it by being okay with the fact that you are at the moment where you are and also that you can make changes to go in the direction you want to go, how you want to improve to be more in line with your values.
I just finished your book and searched your name to see if you have a active online presence . Instantly subscribed . Thank you so much
This video is such a treasure, thank you Thomas for making it.
I just experienced a brutal end to a relationship, which in hindsight was trauma bond. It hit me just how much I didn’t know myself and how I was living vicariously through her. I really appreciate this timely material! Thank you Thomas
I’m interested to hear more if you’re willing to share. What came to light about yourself and how did you access it? It has occurred to me that perhaps I don’t know myself nearly as much as I thought. Hearing from someone else might help me to connect with the kinds of things that there are to know. Hope that makes sense. Cheers
I've been trying to work on myself for years now and I only could really find a little more self compassion when I looked at myself as a character in a book.
Great work. Thanks for including the research behind this.
Thank you for this incredibly insightful and well-researched video! The writing prompts will be incredibly helpful to me and I will also check out your Negative Emotion Differentiation video.
Thank you, Thomas. Your videos are great help for me and they calm me down.
Thank you. These writing prompts will be useful as I will have a break in my group therapy due to the therapist having a child.
Your videos are such a gift!!
Merci beaucoup! Such a clear and intelligent video
Great video! Can you make a video about approach anxiety and how to overcome that fear and approach anyway?
My moment is now, watching this video, learning about psychology.
Yes listening at 1 speed is slow. I feel like my brain starts getting distracted and I can’t focus.
When at 2.0+ I concentrate more. My family thinks I’m crazy.
He speaks incredibly slow. I also had to go to 2x because 1x was like he was playing a joke on everyone.
@S_nazzzsame here.
Dr Thomas! Is this somehow related to the self-discrepancy theory? or is it aside? I sometimes struggle seeing myself as I tend to see myself a bit blended with other selves like I can't quite point out what's real and not. A couple of friends of mine have mentioned to me, that I'm a perfectionist. To me is so strange, I don't see this trait in me any longer, so sometimes I get a bit mixed on how others see me (somehow, better) than I see myself. How do we accurately identify what is actually the real us?
thank you, you are sharing some very valuable advice
May I just say, you are the spitting image of a British comedian Sue Perkins. 🤩
I have suffered from social anxiety from a young age. Just wondering if social anxiety has been an obstacle for you as a clinical psychologist?
Free world class therapy folks, share it with you family and friends ✌️
Early gang! :D
Jungian psychoanalysis for the everyday man/woman.
Therapy, in the UK, is a huge FU** NO! People in the UK don't go to therapy just because we don't like ourselves - that's an American thing.
Problem with the rhird person perspective is that you will have biases and dismiss positive traits.
When you said it, i baulked and nearly vomited.
I’m not sure what you are trying to say. If you are miserable the best thing to do is bear it with dignity?
That doesn’t work for a lot of people who really value not being miserable and Americans even dare to be happy.
@nyob1985 Because, instead of looking inside yourself for answers as to why you are the way you are, and engaging in what's called 'shadow work ' - which most Americans (or people in general) can't be bothered working on, because it's long and not easy, tge quickest 'fix' is to see a therapist.
In the UK, it's culturally different - here if you see a therapist it's like admitting to yourself and the world that you are a failure, a nutbag, or severely screwed up (or the ultimate ego trip attention seeker).
delphic oracle was right all along
Made it to 8 minutes. Dude keeps repeating himself and won’t get to the point.