One thing about this generation, we speak up! I keep wondering how our parents did it. Like how our mothers did it with 4 to 5 kids? Did they share, did they experience the stress of it all? It's also amazing to have a close net of women who can come assist you, cause there is truly alot of stress that hangs around couples. I totally get Step, I think men should just educate themselves for postpartum... it truly gets better!!!
My partner and I are in a long distance relationship and we now have a 9 month old and for the first 4 months it really wasn't easy, I was always tired and never had enough time for him. Video calls, phone calls and texting weren't easy. Even when he visited it wasn't easy. Now it's much easier we are at a better place.
I totally relate with you guys. My hubby and I had the same experience. We had our first baby in June, C-section; I couldn't recognize my body after, hated it, didn't feel sexy and thus I didn't want to be touched. My hormones took forever to regulate, I only felt like myself after 6months. I would breakdown, forever irritated and Steph I have -1 patience (I felt like such a horrible mom and wife) but prayer helps guys, and having a good support structure helps. It has been a tough journey but the most amazing one too. God's blessings are beautiful and He adds no sorrow to them.💝
I can relate with you. When I had my 1st born I was so fine and I thought it will be like that with my 2nd born. I gave birth ngo C-section and I lost myself after giving birth. I did not feel sexy also and I went to hide in my corner for 1 full year. It was bad but God saved me and walked with me through healing journey. God is Good🤞
I felt the same way never wanted to be touched for 10months, my hubby struggled a lot we almost lost our relationship but later he understood and apologized as I also struggled to improve especially mentally but it was not easy I have even feared to have another baby but deeply inside I want
Had a similar experience, topped up with depression when I had my first born. So my libido was at 0% due to the meds. Things were different with my second born in the sense that I was able to be gentle with myself, not resent my husband, embracing my body and mourning the 'old life' and replacing mother's guilt with positive thoughts. Sunday evenings are my 'me time', I focus on my body, shave, do my hair, nail polish on, little perfurm'nyana😅. When I feel overwhelmed during the week, I tell hubby I'm not okay just need time-out and he would take over with the kids, chores, etc. I came to understand how nature is ( men are created a certain way and women are created differently) so our responses are different, support and how it looks like becomes different but we both go through the thick of it with the same degree of harshness. Intimacy came naturally slowly especially when we brought humor in the situation. I remember puting my second born into the cot so that hubby and I could cuddle, literally 1 minute later my child got up peeking out the cot laughing. 😂 At one point we were all sleeping on one bed(4 in one bed), 🤣 it really gets better I won't lie, we need to understand and be kind to ourselves and our partners.
After giving birth (natural) I was struggling a lot with self image, I did not feel sexy anymore I lost a lot of weight, and I was scared to even be sexually intermate with my partner thinking what if I do not enjoy it anymore or what if I do not please him like I used to. And being an over thinker does NOT really help at all, but am just thankful that I have a super supportive partner, who hypes me all the time and tells me how sexy I am how good looking I am. Baby is no 7 months and slowing am getting there.
Sex Coach and therapist here! You two are so incredibly warm and transparent! This is such a hard conversation to have for lots of people and it's so helpful to see folks explore it openly in this way! All types of intimacy are affected by changes like a beautiful baby, for better or worse or both. Mental health, body-image etc are all so important to explore. Loved Stephanie identifying the unique challenge of being the birthing person 💛 There are so many wonderful ways a non-birthing partner can be supportive, but without conversations like this it can be especially difficult. Keep up the awesome work and incredible empathy!
@@UltraCoder I'd say it depends what changes! Sometimes the concern is purely mental health related (self esteem, body image, Postpartum depression etc.) which can in turn affect arousal, libido/desire or sexual interest. These issues benefit most from a sex therapist or other mental health professional, sometimes its physical related (pain with sex, constipation, pelvic floor concerns like incontinence or other issues), in this case checking in with your doctor or a pelvic physical therapist can be really helpful! A lot of the time the physical intersects or affects the mental aspects so if it feels like these issues are affecting your well-being I'd always suggest a chat with a therapist or coach. I hope this helps!
Y'all saw the reassurance Hungani gave Steph about goung through it with her all the way, even though physically and in all aspects she experienced double but hes like im right there with you babe.
Had a similar talk with my partner the other day... We don't have a child btw. Lol but I've learnt that there are so many life factors that do affect intimacy in relationships. One's emotional state, the psyc! Also, we both work demanding jobs and are often on the go /on the move. Sometimes life does steal away some much needed moments. -Communicate with kindness, -Be open and welcoming to change, -Be intentional, -Be patient with each other and with yourself. Beautiful topic Guys❤️
Loved this. Don't compare your journey to others. Currently going through the phase with a 4 months old. It's a lot work and beautiful at the same time. Always tired and you still need to gather your little energy for your little person because they need all of you. I can relate so much with what Stephanie was saying
I am in a long distance relationship and we are really faced with so many challenges with intimacy, communication. Being patient with each other is the best advice
2 years later I'm still struggling like Stephanie unfortunately I ended up leaving the relationship because I was not getting the support that needed I gained so much weight ☹️.. I'm picking up the pieces, Rhulani is growing up and that's how I know I'm doing a good job.. thank you I really needed this ❤️
Totally relate to this particular conversation... Have a 1year old baby girl, I still feel I haven't bounced back, it's still a one day at a time for me...
Wow thanks about the topic, I am a mother to a 8month old baby boy and slowly we are trying and taking things slowly its not easy but we trying, and all that you have spoken about is true. After birth it's not easy at all it really takes time to fall back into romantic intimacy, and as Steph said most challenging things we face as woman. My 1. Looks 2. Depression 3. Am I doing the right thing 5. Healing after giving birth The list goes on thanks again guys 😊😊
My journey was different I enjoyed motherhood and I was excited about it. I received support from both sides of the families and from my partner and experienced breakdown probably at 9months😭 still recovering even now. Thanks for sharing, this is time for me to be patient with myself.
This was a beautiful insightful story I watched I also recently had a baby I’m a single parent had very little help had postpartum depression but I am working on me and juggling being a full time mom too 3kids and working full time…intimacy is not on my mind thanks Steph for sharing your journey 😊
The snippet is the realest, the first 3 months you are definitely not yourself physically or even emotionally and I was on autopilot for the next 3 months following that. These conversations are necessary to have so that you don't completely lose touch with one another and even if you don't completely understand what your partner is going through... Atleast you are aware and can try to work from there. You almost become envious of the man who gets to leave home and live a "normal" life while you are stuck at home with baby the entire day. Being a mom is alot. But giving yourself constant grace even when you know nothing is so important. It does get better❤️
Thoroughly enjoyed this episode, so honest and raw. I really appreciated you guys coming out and sharing this because pregnancy and being parents in as much as it is a beautiful blessing it is also important to talk about the "not so good" experiences that come with it. This firstly, does not perpetuate the misconception that it is all always good so people can better prepare. Secondly, it can maybe give those who are in similar situations the comfort that it's not them that are just bad or struggling to strike a balance between their roles, conversations like these show them that this is a normal part of being new parents. Also, I liked that Steph was honest about her envy when Hungani went back to work, this was such a beautiful moment for me because it shows that you guys have created a space where you can be vulnerable with no fear of judgement. Otherwise, love the video. Solid 10/10.
You were,this thing called marriage is not for faint hearted people ,only strong ones servive .....my advice compromising, be patient, and be kind to each other,time is the most healer .....as time goes everything falls in place ......we all go through these kinds of stages in our lives especially marriage life ,,,,,,COMMUNICATION is the best .
My husband and I have two beautiful boys, literally the most beautiful babies I have ever seen. With that comes 2 c sections, 2 separate incisions😢. It’s been 3 years since I had my last baby and to this day I am not fully confident in my new body. My husband has been so supportive and embracing and loving my new body but I personally can’t look past the changes. Some days are better than others but man it’s a lot. Grateful for this conversation you’ve opened up❤
My son is 10 months now and it took me a while to get back into the groove of things.. everything you felt Steph is what every woman goes through. My hormones started changing while I was pregnant and I didn’t want to be touched then and even worse after baby but after communication it gets better and your confidence builds up!
I feel alone, even now I'm trying by all means to get in touch of the father but I can't get hold of him....... It's either it goes to voicemail/being blocked and etc...... I learned that I should now be strong for myself & my son and forget about other things.😢
Thanks so much for this, I can relate 100% my baby is turning 6 months soon and it's hard between putting baby to nap, sleep, sleep deprivation and going back to work, it's a lot. Glad to hear it gets better.
Exactly the same except mine wasn't c section but still the experience after the birth of the child is exactly the same. And yes it gets better our child is 5 yrs old now we are much happier than before we had a child coz the child adds to the happiness we had before we had her
I agree wit the Mrs. Women go through the most physical change, emotional its draining on both. And for men the sad part is no one is there to support them during the change. Mom looks after baby and hubs mom, dad has to stay strong. Also that '' touch'' thing. My toddler loves to touch and eat me.. So when my husband tries i feel so touched out, 😭😭. I was nt a touchy person bt m worse. Thanks 4 an interesting topic
After every mile stone in a romantic relationship or any shift to the norm. the role of a man, the role of a woman, past traumas, individual paths, etc. all those things come to play. Communication is a big saving grace, empathy, patience, growth. Most importantly love. A disconnection may result in walls being built at a sensitive time between two people. You are basically figuring each other out again and settling in with the new norm. Babies are alot. but they must bring two people together. Its alot guys. kudos to those who get it and find love in all its shapes forms and values.
Love this guys so much educational. My wife and I as young as we are in marriage after the birth of our son. I so wanted intimacy n felt like am being ignored, not realizin the changes she was going through were very difficult for her
It's surely a different journey and experience for different individuals. I'm a mother of two and gave birth naturally though it was extremely hard with the second one. I had a prolonged labor and got really sick a week after giving birth so I kinda get what you mean to some extent. It's extremely important to be open minded about it all and keep the communication channels open, especially with your significant other and give yourself time to heal. It surely gets better as time goes like you said.
Iyooo! This took me back to 4 years back. My husband and I have been in a long distance relationship from the beginning, we got married a year into the relationship, we still living apart. When pregnancy came it was hard because I would get irritated even by a call, I lost interest in intimacy especially sex. After the baby came it was a nightmare, I attached myself to the baby more that him because my stitches from natural labour took forever to heal resulting in an infection that had to be operated on 🤦🤦🤧. We really go through a lot and I felt my husband did not get it though he was supportive towards everything.
I think of the saying "when a child is born a mother too is born." I think this is a new phase for you guys and consequently requires a new you, you had never been parents prior in your marriage and its like you being introduced to a new you. 💯
It's the Ndlovus staying consistent for me!!!It's crazy how y'all are managing a baby,your relationship,work,and then on top of all that,y'all continue to pump out content for us!if that doesn't spell dedication then i don't know what does😭💗we truly appreciate you guys💕💕
Honestly this topic gets me emotional, my son turned one about 3 weeks ago. Only started enjoying motherhood when he was10 months, I was always tired he used to cry a lot day and night and would only sleep for 20 to 30 minutes during the day. Went back to the gym 4 months postpartum I was not myself and I had to make a selfless decision by going back to the gym knowing that it keeps me sane and my son needed a healthy mom
I can relate...I'm always tired 7months old plus 7year old is a full time job Thanks for the tips that I must ask for help when needed and not compare with other parents
This mostly happens with your first born that u feel somewhat different with ur now appearance. Because in the midst of everything ure grieving what u knew as your body, appearance and sexy feeling. And as a result a woman is less likely to express themselves intimately because all these changes now becomes a boundary because we feel the partner won't embrace this positively. In a way one can fear the response the man can give towards these physical changes. Even if they reassure us, it remains an internal battle in us as women. Which then affect our emotional state. But as u navigate through and embrace it and accept the new u and learn to love the new u, it gets better. And eventually u love urself again and feel good.
Definitely sharing! I hope my partner understands. I can relate with Steph more so having two little ones, one tries to find something to know you are not alone," it gets better "and are actually doing a good job... Thank you 💖
My gosh… I am so happy for you guys. God has been gracious to you both. I’ve been a fan!! I also just gave birth 6 months ago and my husband and I had this conversation. I definitely relate with Steph. Woman are affected more than men. No competition at all… we just go through the physical, mental, hormones changes… and much more. Its not to say that men are not affected, they are but not the same. You can’t compare a first degree burn with a 2nd or 3rd degree burn.
The Grace of God is sufficient for you guys, He'll strengthen you, equip you and help you through this Journey. Do not lose heart ♥ the last clip moved me, but God is your strength and to all who are going through this special journey. 💐
With my first baby it was bad but now with the second I have accepted the changes and feeling more comfortable and confident that I am a mother of two 😅😊I bounced back very quickly baby is 4 months now and I feel like I am ready to start playing with daddy 😂😅
Also the best tip is to allow people to help you. I take my son to my parents every second weekend so that my partner and I can have our uninterrupted time and it helps! It truly works❤
So we in the same journey and timing wise and I think Hungani is right.... Moreover - as men, I feel like we are just there to be therapists, particularly cause we are different and are able to see diff without emotions. (Emotions are there to feel and make babies i.e women NEED those emotions and periods etc as they are carriers and have a bigger role than men can ever understand)...so its an advantage....and we just need to acknowledge all sides and purposes. Men are there to help women through this experience...
yhoe the video was long and worth watching, intimacy after having a baby is hard, like its like having to start all over again. Hormones and emotions all over. Issa lot.
I can totally relate... Had my handsome prince 9 months ago and my partner nd I are yet to be intimate.. It's not easy for me to accept the changes thty body has endured.. Now it's affecting our relationship as a whole.. Iant to be his woman again but also a mother to our son.. It's not easy at all but in time we will be okay.. He's so understanding, patient and so kind to me lwys reassuring me of how beautiful nd strong I am 💖
Beautifully said. So eloquent. What a healthy way of expressing yourselfs and feeding of each other. Refreshing to see a couple who can have such an emotional intellectual conversation and communication. Continue in the way you are listening and receiving each others words because this video in itself is also on a high level of intimacy because just listening and unpacking makes you feel light and revived. May God bless your marriage and may He lead you to know the truth of His Word.
😂😂😂😂😂 This is a very nice video thank you guys. We are going through the same thing with my lovely Husband and it’s worse we are not in Africa. It’s usually better for those with relatives who are closer for babysitting 😂😂😂. It’s just comforting to know other people are going through the same thing 😅
That commonly happens most of the things Steph mentioned I can actually relate to them and I remember I used to shout at my back then fiance for even touching me,shame and that was so cold I could see he's hurt but then acting all gentle
Ndlovu uncut gang gang ♥️ wow what a topic , I learned so much in the video big ups to Steph .. motherhood looks beautiful you on ❤️❤️ with all love and appreciation thank you for sharing
Hehehe last last part. You guy wer really exhausted. Thank you for this guys, your discussions are really real and educative. I love the authenticity in them.
Still here for the vibes but I just wanna say, this is very informative for those of us who don't know and still haven't experienced but i really loved this video or chat rather... Also I just wanna say i love you guy's ✨😘💯❤️🔥🔥
Yooooo after giving birth it was not really challenging because I had all the support I needed is just that I have changed a lot and sometimes is stressing me but am hopeful that I will be Ohk
It’s always the way Hungani looks at his wife with so much love
I wonder what was Steph's prayer when she asked God for a partner/ husband
One thing about this generation, we speak up! I keep wondering how our parents did it. Like how our mothers did it with 4 to 5 kids? Did they share, did they experience the stress of it all? It's also amazing to have a close net of women who can come assist you, cause there is truly alot of stress that hangs around couples. I totally get Step, I think men should just educate themselves for postpartum... it truly gets better!!!
U say 4 to 5...8 to 9 kids yoh😢😢😢
Having a patient partner helps a lot❤️
Its important to marry a kind partner
My partner and I are in a long distance relationship and we now have a 9 month old and for the first 4 months it really wasn't easy, I was always tired and never had enough time for him. Video calls, phone calls and texting weren't easy. Even when he visited it wasn't easy. Now it's much easier we are at a better place.
I can relate to u 95%❤❤❤❤
I totally relate with you guys. My hubby and I had the same experience. We had our first baby in June, C-section; I couldn't recognize my body after, hated it, didn't feel sexy and thus I didn't want to be touched. My hormones took forever to regulate, I only felt like myself after 6months. I would breakdown, forever irritated and Steph I have -1 patience (I felt like such a horrible mom and wife) but prayer helps guys, and having a good support structure helps. It has been a tough journey but the most amazing one too. God's blessings are beautiful and He adds no sorrow to them.💝
I can relate with you. When I had my 1st born I was so fine and I thought it will be like that with my 2nd born. I gave birth ngo C-section and I lost myself after giving birth. I did not feel sexy also and I went to hide in my corner for 1 full year. It was bad but God saved me and walked with me through healing journey. God is Good🤞
I felt the same way never wanted to be touched for 10months, my hubby struggled a lot we almost lost our relationship but later he understood and apologized as I also struggled to improve especially mentally but it was not easy I have even feared to have another baby but deeply inside I want
Had a similar experience, topped up with depression when I had my first born. So my libido was at 0% due to the meds. Things were different with my second born in the sense that I was able to be gentle with myself, not resent my husband, embracing my body and mourning the 'old life' and replacing mother's guilt with positive thoughts. Sunday evenings are my 'me time', I focus on my body, shave, do my hair, nail polish on, little perfurm'nyana😅. When I feel overwhelmed during the week, I tell hubby I'm not okay just need time-out and he would take over with the kids, chores, etc. I came to understand how nature is ( men are created a certain way and women are created differently) so our responses are different, support and how it looks like becomes different but we both go through the thick of it with the same degree of harshness. Intimacy came naturally slowly especially when we brought humor in the situation. I remember puting my second born into the cot so that hubby and I could cuddle, literally 1 minute later my child got up peeking out the cot laughing. 😂 At one point we were all sleeping on one bed(4 in one bed), 🤣 it really gets better I won't lie, we need to understand and be kind to ourselves and our partners.
After giving birth (natural) I was struggling a lot with self image, I did not feel sexy anymore I lost a lot of weight, and I was scared to even be sexually intermate with my partner thinking what if I do not enjoy it anymore or what if I do not please him like I used to.
And being an over thinker does NOT really help at all, but am just thankful that I have a super supportive partner, who hypes me all the time and tells me how sexy I am how good looking I am. Baby is no 7 months and slowing am getting there.
It’s four years later and my husband and I are still figuring it out. It does get better indeed.
“I grew taller” 😂 mara Hungani.
Thanks for the amazing video
Sex Coach and therapist here! You two are so incredibly warm and transparent! This is such a hard conversation to have for lots of people and it's so helpful to see folks explore it openly in this way! All types of intimacy are affected by changes like a beautiful baby, for better or worse or both. Mental health, body-image etc are all so important to explore. Loved Stephanie identifying the unique challenge of being the birthing person 💛 There are so many wonderful ways a non-birthing partner can be supportive, but without conversations like this it can be especially difficult. Keep up the awesome work and incredible empathy!
If everything changes for the worst after having a baby, sexually. should you consult a therapist or a gynae?
@@UltraCoder I'd say it depends what changes! Sometimes the concern is purely mental health related (self esteem, body image, Postpartum depression etc.) which can in turn affect arousal, libido/desire or sexual interest. These issues benefit most from a sex therapist or other mental health professional, sometimes its physical related (pain with sex, constipation, pelvic floor concerns like incontinence or other issues), in this case checking in with your doctor or a pelvic physical therapist can be really helpful! A lot of the time the physical intersects or affects the mental aspects so if it feels like these issues are affecting your well-being I'd always suggest a chat with a therapist or coach. I hope this helps!
Y'all saw the reassurance Hungani gave Steph about goung through it with her all the way, even though physically and in all aspects she experienced double but hes like im right there with you babe.
Had a similar talk with my partner the other day... We don't have a child btw. Lol but I've learnt that there are so many life factors that do affect intimacy in relationships. One's emotional state, the psyc! Also, we both work demanding jobs and are often on the go /on the move. Sometimes life does steal away some much needed moments.
-Communicate with kindness,
-Be open and welcoming to change,
-Be intentional,
-Be patient with each other and with yourself.
Beautiful topic Guys❤️
That is spot on! We hope things work out between you and your partner and you are able to live in the 4 things you mentioned.🤗
Loved this. Don't compare your journey to others. Currently going through the phase with a 4 months old. It's a lot work and beautiful at the same time. Always tired and you still need to gather your little energy for your little person because they need all of you. I can relate so much with what Stephanie was saying
I am in a long distance relationship and we are really faced with so many challenges with intimacy, communication. Being patient with each other is the best advice
2 years later I'm still struggling like Stephanie unfortunately I ended up leaving the relationship because I was not getting the support that needed I gained so much weight ☹️.. I'm picking up the pieces, Rhulani is growing up and that's how I know I'm doing a good job.. thank you I really needed this ❤️
Hugs hugs hugs 🤗 You’re doing good mommy
So sorry mummy. Sending you hugs and love
❤️😊
@@SA_PASF spot on 👌🏾
@@SA_PASF she is talking about her individual experience. why do you feel the need to generalise this to all South African women??
Totally relate to this particular conversation... Have a 1year old baby girl, I still feel I haven't bounced back, it's still a one day at a time for me...
I can relate. So many changes happening, I also have a one year old .
I can relate too ,I too have a 1 year old baby boy, one day at a time for sure🙏🏽
The tension in that clip then Stephanie even says “let’s pretend” 😭😭😭 so glad y’all re recorded.
Having a partner that's willing to learn about women's bodies and their feelings is honestly a blessing.
Super proud of your husband.
Believe me it is not easy to be a mother, i wish we could all go for counselling before making babies
Wow thanks about the topic, I am a mother to a 8month old baby boy and slowly we are trying and taking things slowly its not easy but we trying, and all that you have spoken about is true. After birth it's not easy at all it really takes time to fall back into romantic intimacy, and as Steph said most challenging things we face as woman. My
1. Looks
2. Depression
3. Am I doing the right thing
5. Healing after giving birth
The list goes on thanks again guys 😊😊
You're doing great. Give yourself more credit. It will get better, we all learning.❤️🤗
Great explanation!
9 months later and I am still struggling. Having a patient partner does help❤. I really enjoyed this.
My journey was different I enjoyed motherhood and I was excited about it. I received support from both sides of the families and from my partner and experienced breakdown probably at 9months😭 still recovering even now. Thanks for sharing, this is time for me to be patient with myself.
This was a beautiful insightful story I watched I also recently had a baby I’m a single parent had very little help had postpartum depression but I am working on me and juggling being a full time mom too 3kids and working full time…intimacy is not on my mind thanks Steph for sharing your journey 😊
The snippet is the realest, the first 3 months you are definitely not yourself physically or even emotionally and I was on autopilot for the next 3 months following that. These conversations are necessary to have so that you don't completely lose touch with one another and even if you don't completely understand what your partner is going through... Atleast you are aware and can try to work from there. You almost become envious of the man who gets to leave home and live a "normal" life while you are stuck at home with baby the entire day. Being a mom is alot. But giving yourself constant grace even when you know nothing is so important. It does get better❤️
Thoroughly enjoyed this episode, so honest and raw. I really appreciated you guys coming out and sharing this because pregnancy and being parents in as much as it is a beautiful blessing it is also important to talk about the "not so good" experiences that come with it. This firstly, does not perpetuate the misconception that it is all always good so people can better prepare. Secondly, it can maybe give those who are in similar situations the comfort that it's not them that are just bad or struggling to strike a balance between their roles, conversations like these show them that this is a normal part of being new parents. Also, I liked that Steph was honest about her envy when Hungani went back to work, this was such a beautiful moment for me because it shows that you guys have created a space where you can be vulnerable with no fear of judgement. Otherwise, love the video. Solid 10/10.
You were,this thing called marriage is not for faint hearted people ,only strong ones servive .....my advice compromising, be patient, and be kind to each other,time is the most healer .....as time goes everything falls in place ......we all go through these kinds of stages in our lives especially marriage life ,,,,,,COMMUNICATION is the best .
My husband and I have two beautiful boys, literally the most beautiful babies I have ever seen. With that comes 2 c sections, 2 separate incisions😢. It’s been 3 years since I had my last baby and to this day I am not fully confident in my new body. My husband has been so supportive and embracing and loving my new body but I personally can’t look past the changes. Some days are better than others but man it’s a lot. Grateful for this conversation you’ve opened up❤
It took a year for my hormones to regulate I had to go off the injections (family planning) and that helped a lot
can't wait to talk about this topic with my boo one day. Much love guys💙💙
My son is 10 months now and it took me a while to get back into the groove of things.. everything you felt Steph is what every woman goes through. My hormones started changing while I was pregnant and I didn’t want to be touched then and even worse after baby but after communication it gets better and your confidence builds up!
I feel alone, even now I'm trying by all means to get in touch of the father but I can't get hold of him....... It's either it goes to voicemail/being blocked and etc...... I learned that I should now be strong for myself & my son and forget about other things.😢
❤
Thanks so much for this, I can relate 100% my baby is turning 6 months soon and it's hard between putting baby to nap, sleep, sleep deprivation and going back to work, it's a lot. Glad to hear it gets better.
Wow. Story of our lives when baby #1 came through. It really needed us to be deliberate and committed to making it work
I relate with Steph so much something I tried to explain to my partner but he didn't get it.
Exactly the same except mine wasn't c section but still the experience after the birth of the child is exactly the same. And yes it gets better our child is 5 yrs old now we are much happier than before we had a child coz the child adds to the happiness we had before we had her
I agree wit the Mrs. Women go through the most physical change, emotional its draining on both. And for men the sad part is no one is there to support them during the change. Mom looks after baby and hubs mom, dad has to stay strong. Also that '' touch'' thing. My toddler loves to touch and eat me.. So when my husband tries i feel so touched out, 😭😭. I was nt a touchy person bt m worse. Thanks 4 an interesting topic
I love how you guys were able to discuss about this and not argue abt who gets affected more thn the other....Much love for you from Zim....
After every mile stone in a romantic relationship or any shift to the norm. the role of a man, the role of a woman, past traumas, individual paths, etc. all those things come to play. Communication is a big saving grace, empathy, patience, growth. Most importantly love. A disconnection may result in walls being built at a sensitive time between two people. You are basically figuring each other out again and settling in with the new norm. Babies are alot. but they must bring two people together. Its alot guys. kudos to those who get it and find love in all its shapes forms and values.
Love this guys so much educational. My wife and I as young as we are in marriage after the birth of our son. I so wanted intimacy n felt like am being ignored, not realizin the changes she was going through were very difficult for her
It's surely a different journey and experience for different individuals. I'm a mother of two and gave birth naturally though it was extremely hard with the second one. I had a prolonged labor and got really sick a week after giving birth so I kinda get what you mean to some extent. It's extremely important to be open minded about it all and keep the communication channels open, especially with your significant other and give yourself time to heal. It surely gets better as time goes like you said.
So raw and real.Michelle Obama shared this in her recent book tour chats.
"Don't compare your journey to others" Enjoyed watching this❤️
Glad you enjoyed!
You are lucky to have an understanding husband.
Iyooo! This took me back to 4 years back. My husband and I have been in a long distance relationship from the beginning, we got married a year into the relationship, we still living apart. When pregnancy came it was hard because I would get irritated even by a call, I lost interest in intimacy especially sex. After the baby came it was a nightmare, I attached myself to the baby more that him because my stitches from natural labour took forever to heal resulting in an infection that had to be operated on 🤦🤦🤧. We really go through a lot and I felt my husband did not get it though he was supportive towards everything.
I think of the saying "when a child is born a mother too is born." I think this is a new phase for you guys and consequently requires a new you, you had never been parents prior in your marriage and its like you being introduced to a new you. 💯
It's the Ndlovus staying consistent for me!!!It's crazy how y'all are managing a baby,your relationship,work,and then on top of all that,y'all continue to pump out content for us!if that doesn't spell dedication then i don't know what does😭💗we truly appreciate you guys💕💕
Honestly this topic gets me emotional, my son turned one about 3 weeks ago. Only started enjoying motherhood when he was10 months, I was always tired he used to cry a lot day and night and would only sleep for 20 to 30 minutes during the day. Went back to the gym 4 months postpartum I was not myself and I had to make a selfless decision by going back to the gym knowing that it keeps me sane and my son needed a healthy mom
You two are just excellent communicators period. Keep that glorious glow in your faces
I can relate...I'm always tired 7months old plus 7year old is a full time job
Thanks for the tips that I must ask for help when needed and not compare with other parents
I honestly thoroughly enjoyed this video, ALWAYS RAW AND HONEST 🥺😍. I wholeheartedly related to your experiences.
Its ok I repeat its ok to find help dont go through it by yourselves
This mostly happens with your first born that u feel somewhat different with ur now appearance. Because in the midst of everything ure grieving what u knew as your body, appearance and sexy feeling. And as a result a woman is less likely to express themselves intimately because all these changes now becomes a boundary because we feel the partner won't embrace this positively. In a way one can fear the response the man can give towards these physical changes. Even if they reassure us, it remains an internal battle in us as women. Which then affect our emotional state. But as u navigate through and embrace it and accept the new u and learn to love the new u, it gets better. And eventually u love urself again and feel good.
Always when I watch or listen to you guys I feel like am being trained for the day I get married.... ❤️My favorites
Definitely sharing! I hope my partner understands. I can relate with Steph more so having two little ones, one tries to find something to know you are not alone," it gets better "and are actually doing a good job... Thank you 💖
Thanks for sharing!! We hope he understands indeed.❤️
I don't have the baby yet. But definitely learnt a lot from watching this. Thank you so much for keeping it real. Love your journey.❤❤❤
Enjoyed every moment of this video
You guys just described everything I'm going through
Postpartum is no joke
Facts rarely discussed, raw and hard facts, that old convo we are scared to have ❤
Steph looks absolutely beautiful 😩
Really scared for my life because I'm so obsessed with weight. Hope God and my partner will help me get through all of that.
My gosh… I am so happy for you guys. God has been gracious to you both. I’ve been a fan!! I also just gave birth 6 months ago and my husband and I had this conversation. I definitely relate with Steph. Woman are affected more than men. No competition at all… we just go through the physical, mental, hormones changes… and much more. Its not to say that men are not affected, they are but not the same. You can’t compare a first degree burn with a 2nd or 3rd degree burn.
The Grace of God is sufficient for you guys, He'll strengthen you, equip you and help you through this Journey. Do not lose heart ♥ the last clip moved me, but God is your strength and to all who are going through this special journey. 💐
You are one of the realest couple I know🥺💯
And the quality of the video is fire🔥🔥❤️
With my first baby it was bad but now with the second I have accepted the changes and feeling more comfortable and confident that I am a mother of two 😅😊I bounced back very quickly baby is 4 months now and I feel like I am ready to start playing with daddy 😂😅
Waiting patiently for a podcast 🥹🥹🥹🥹. Love the Ndlovus immensely ❤
Maybe one day!
I have watched this a million times wow you guys make marriage look so easy ngapha thina siya gowa😮😮
You guys are mature maan,may God protect your marriage 😍❤
Also the best tip is to allow people to help you. I take my son to my parents every second weekend so that my partner and I can have our uninterrupted time and it helps! It truly works❤
I am a 16 year old ❤
I looooove this video, thank y'all for sharing ❤️
Powerful word man of God
Always appreciate your honesty as a young married couple ❤❤
Im here oooo, cant wait for this. Much love 💜❤️🥂
So we in the same journey and timing wise and I think Hungani is right....
Moreover - as men, I feel like we are just there to be therapists, particularly cause we are different and are able to see diff without emotions. (Emotions are there to feel and make babies i.e women NEED those emotions and periods etc as they are carriers and have a bigger role than men can ever understand)...so its an advantage....and we just need to acknowledge all sides and purposes. Men are there to help women through this experience...
Been looking forward to this conversation since I saw the short
Omg guys we are just about to hit 500k 😍I hope we get to see the baby. LOVE YOU GUYS
I can relate a lot of what you are saying on my second child it was not easy but with God and a lot of reading it really helped me a lot
🙏🏾🙏🏾
I love you my darlings, totally and entirely
Hungani is a great husband 👏
It doesn't get realer than the Ndlovu's Uncut
yhoe the video was long and worth watching, intimacy after having a baby is hard, like its like having to start all over again. Hormones and emotions all over. Issa lot.
It's real TlOF TLOF because the sound is different,it sonds like Tloff...Tloff
I can totally relate... Had my handsome prince 9 months ago and my partner nd I are yet to be intimate.. It's not easy for me to accept the changes thty body has endured.. Now it's affecting our relationship as a whole.. Iant to be his woman again but also a mother to our son.. It's not easy at all but in time we will be okay.. He's so understanding, patient and so kind to me lwys reassuring me of how beautiful nd strong I am 💖
In tears
Beautifully said. So eloquent. What a healthy way of expressing yourselfs and feeding of each other. Refreshing to see a couple who can have such an emotional intellectual conversation and communication. Continue in the way you are listening and receiving each others words because this video in itself is also on a high level of intimacy because just listening and unpacking makes you feel light and revived. May God bless your marriage and may He lead you to know the truth of His Word.
Totally relatable Shem.
At your ages guys u hv taught something big. Big up
Definitely taking notes for future, thank you for sharing your hearts and lives with us! ❤️
😂😂😂😂😂 This is a very nice video thank you guys. We are going through the same thing with my lovely Husband and it’s worse we are not in Africa. It’s usually better for those with relatives who are closer for babysitting 😂😂😂. It’s just comforting to know other people are going through the same thing 😅
Very important conversation, parenting is beautiful and a hard journey. Thank you for sharing
That commonly happens most of the things Steph mentioned I can actually relate to them and I remember I used to shout at my back then fiance for even touching me,shame and that was so cold I could see he's hurt but then acting all gentle
damn i get back to yall a year later and its this profound already damnnn
Honestly I Love you guys
Ndlovu uncut gang gang ♥️ wow what a topic , I learned so much in the video big ups to Steph .. motherhood looks beautiful you on ❤️❤️
with all love and appreciation thank you for sharing
Hehehe last last part. You guy wer really exhausted. Thank you for this guys, your discussions are really real and educative. I love the authenticity in them.
The momma is glowing ,love it 😍😍
Still here for the vibes but I just wanna say, this is very informative for those of us who don't know and still haven't experienced but i really loved this video or chat rather... Also I just wanna say i love you guy's ✨😘💯❤️🔥🔥
Keeping it real loving you guys
Not Steph saying "you just have to pretend" 😅
Shame it was definitely tense 😬
Yooooo after giving birth it was not really challenging because I had all the support I needed is just that I have changed a lot and sometimes is stressing me but am hopeful that I will be Ohk
Forever real....🥰🥰 I Forever Respect And Love you guys 🥰🥰🥰