When Others Don't Understand Your Chronic Illness // Ep 3
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 พ.ค. 2022
- Today's episode is discussing what to do when others don't understand your chronic illness. I'm sharing 3 new ideas for you to think next time this happens.
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These podcasts are extremely helpful. You really have caused me to start to change some of my thinking patterns around my illnesses. Thank you ❤. You are so wise beyond your years.
SO glad it's been helpful!! ❤️❤️ I will keep them coming!
I stumbled on your TH-cam channel a few months ago after a minimalism video. I have loved your videos since and I love these podcasts! These principles are important for everyone...not just those struggling with chronic illness. ❤️
So glad this is helpful for you! :)
I’m so excited for this podcast! These are some great healthy perspectives you’re offering. A lot of the time the truth can be painful and our solution might be in the place we least want to look or least expect to find. Thank you for this video Aimee!
I'm so glad this has been helpful!
This is a great episode. This matter is hard for me in a different way, I don’t expect anyone to understand how I feel because they are not me. I don’t have expectations of people understanding or listening to me. Certain people in my life really try and ask me questions that are hard to answer. I actually find it hard to explain how I feel sometimes I just say the same thing, “same as yesterday or worse today or extremely exhausted or can’t move”. But sometimes I can talk a lot like word vomit. There is a person in my life that really doesn’t understand which I like I said I don’t expect that, but this person always tells me I’m negative but it’s not so much that, they asked me how I feel and some days are worse as we all know. What I struggle with is being cut off and talked at and told how I should be or that I should take my life back. I am not the same person so that’s not going to happen I just have to learn to live now and going forward. But this person is in denial for me if that makes sense. When I explain this to that person that’s what they don’t understand which really bothers me. Any advice hope I made sense
I guess...I would like people to recall that I'm making an extra effort all the time to do all the things they do constantly. They just forget. Because they see results all the time. They see only what I work everyday to "build". And then I have to reality check them.
Yes ❤ I feel this way too… I have had situations where I have made the to me huge effort to drive and show up to meet a friend, like a 45-50 min drive. And recive a text from them five min ahead of our meeting time, cancelling on me… That is not okay to be doing to a healthy friend, but even less so to someone chronically ill with a family whom just puzzled the whole familys schedule around my inabilities etc and the effort and energy it took me to get here. And you not cancelling in time for me to at least stay at home.
Unless they just had an accident five minutes ago of course, but that wasnt the case… there was a family issue but it had been going on the whole day so in that instance they could have called earlier… 😓
thank you
I'm totally hooked on your podcasts. Thank you so much for challenging my thought processes.
Ohhh, this was just what I needed today!! Thank you so much💗
You’re offering terrific feedback… keep sharing your experience and what you’ve learned! 👏🏼👏🏼🙏🏼✝️
This is my favorite episode so far! You're doing a great job and I love listening to you.
So glad to hear you are enjoying it! :)
I do get resentful of people when they complain about (to me) minor and temporary health issues. But only when they make a really big deal out if it. I have some friends like this that makes huge drama and cancel on plans etc when I have popped extra pills and made a huge effort to show up despite all my struggles and just want to spend a nice time and forget my issues. And then to either be cancelled on last minute (sometimes when I’ve already taken the effort to show up at the place) or to show up but get to listen to complaints about their percived hardship.. and no questions asked about how I feel because ”well, your always ill right, whats the point in asking”… I have some clearing out of friends to do… 😞😓
Fantastic advice!
Great episode Aimee. Thank you.
When it comes to cooking or baking for people, I always say to the person, "If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it, I won't be offended." A lot of times I followed a recipe so if they don't like it I just figure they don't like that recipe. But even if I made it up, like you said, everyone has different tastes.
Also, what if you are so sick, that you don't have the energy to take care of yourself. I've been in that place for 8 months. So I REALLY need others to take care of me. I've communicated that, but very few respond, and it makes me feel very much rejected.
It's still your responsibility to take care of you. By that I mean, if you can't do something alone then you find the help. Don't expect someone else to do it perfect. Remember that they don't know what it's like to be you. So you need to tell them, and if they still don't do it right find someone who will. (You could try to explain more to the person, or hire someone to help you, or ask a different friend/family/neighbor to help.)
It's hard not to feel rejected in these situations. It's so difficult for people who don't live chronically ill to understand what it's like to be sick all the time.
You got this my friend!
I 100% understand this. I can care for myself but caring for my son is difficult, so when others don’t understand why I can’t care for my child there’s more judgment than concern/willingness to help.
I needed this message today 💜💜 Thank you!! And PS… those big purple glasses were the best and you’re BEAUTIFUL!!
Thank you! 💜
Unfortunately even though my mom takes care of me she doesn't understand my illness and the chronic pain and difficulty it causes. she even said 'Why are you walking like that', when I walk this way normally but im in more pain and she doesn't understand it. I just want her to know that I can't do things like everyone else.
But what if it was okay for her to "not get it"? What if we didn't need her to understand and allowed her to have her own thoughts about your illness? What if her not understanding didn't even effect you? What if all that mattered was that YOU understand YOU? If you let that go, how would that change your relationship?
@@Aimee_Esther Her thoughts qre to say I'm lazy qnd don't do qnything when u help qround the house but I don't cook because I have heat intolerance and that I don't move fast enough when I can't because I can't move like others vecause I will be paralyzed so I have to be careful all the time. Morning is my worse time of day those qrent healthy hours for me and she'll say I didn't do anything.
@@kelviannaepperson3677 Just try on the idea that maybe it's okay for her to think that you didn't do anything today. What if instead of focusing on what she was thinking, you focused on what YOU were thinking. You don't have control over what she thinks about you, but you do have control of what you think about you. How about you decide that today you did everything exactly right (even if she doesn't think so). That's available to you if you want it!
Try this for one day and just see how it goes. Notice how your day changes if you focus on your own thoughts instead of hers :)
Luke 10:
25 And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?
26 He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou?
27 And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.
28 And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.
29 But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?
30 And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.
31 And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.
32 And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.
33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,
34 And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.
35 And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.
36 Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?
37 And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.
Luke 16:
19 There was a certain rich man, which was clothed in purple and fine linen, and fared sumptuously every day:
20 And there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, which was laid at his gate, full of sores,
21 And desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell from the rich man’s table: moreover the dogs came and licked his sores.
22 And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham’s bosom: the rich man also died, and was buried;
23 And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.
24 And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.
25 But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented.
26 And beside all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed: so that they which would pass from hence to you cannot; neither can they pass to us, that would come from thence.
27 Then he said, I pray thee therefore, father, that thou wouldest send him to my father’s house:
28 For I have five brethren; that he may testify unto them, lest they also come into this place of torment.
29 Abraham saith unto him, They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.
30 And he said, Nay, father Abraham: but if one went unto them from the dead, they will repent.
31 And he said unto him, If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, though one rose from the dead.
Matthew 25:
31 When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory:
32 And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats:
33 And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.
34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
41 Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:
42 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink:
43 I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.
44 Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?
45 Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.
46 And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.
Proverbs 16: 25
There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.
Bible verses the Holy Spirit brought to my mind after watching your video. God very much wants us to understand what others are going through, and to help them, or at least pray for them. We should help anyone who is in need, and warn those who resist doing the will of God, because there are eternal consequences.
Please don't let Mormonism guilt trip you into having more babies than your body is ok with. I left a very controlling church similar to mormonism, and while I was supposed to believe in miracles to heal the sick, it put me in danger of taking care of myself and my body out of guilt for not having enough faith!
I'm not sure what you're talking about... My religion doesn't guilt me into having babies. 🤷 I don't know what religion you were a part of, but I'm so sorry it made you feel controlled. That sounds awful.
My religion actually does the opposite. I feel so free! We believe that deciding when and how many children to have is between you, your spouse and the Lord. 😊
(And we don't refer to ourselves as "Mormons". I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. 😊)
I hope you find a belief that brings you joy! ❤️❤️
Also I did a whole episode on faith! This may be useful to you: th-cam.com/video/6G6if0LtebY/w-d-xo.html
Chronic pain is not a life
I call it the monster inside us
Do worry about what others think. Focus on God. Most People do t have Empathy...They just don't. It's called selfishness.