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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ก.ค. 2024
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Me and my Kenyan boyfriend discussed what is it that makes so many intercultural relationships fail and how to make international love stories last. There's so many things from failure to plan to stay together in the same country to ignoring the inevitable cultural differences - or alternatively making cultural differences too big of a deal! International siturations require a different level of planning, trust, respect, communication and understanding of not just culture but of religion, socio-economic background, gender roles, concepts of marriage and family, and red flags!
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0:00 intro
1:09 my dating background
2:01 bf speaks: trust
2:24 staying in the same country
4:43 bf speaks: insecurity & equality
5:46 own experience: making quick decisions
6:46 own experience: clarity about future
7:26 own experience: casual or serious?
9:37 own experience: relocating for love
10:43 bf speaks: respect each others culture
12:36 what to note about cultural differences
#kenya #nairobi #internationaldating #livinginkenya #relationshipgoals #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips #interculturaldating #internationallove #datingadvice
You're one of very few foreigners who paint a realistic portrait of your life in Nairobi. Without exaggeration/dramatization of the highs and the lows, but a rather balanced (dare I say, simply human) view of things. Your videos feel authentic and that's the main reason why I subscribed. Please keep them coming!
Thank you so much for a kind comment! ❤️ This is really what I’m hoping I’m able to portray so I’m glad you receive it this way. Have a lovely week ahead!
Exactly hardly seen somebody who has taken the time to observe things and paint it so realistic like you said that even me a Kenyan wouldn’t describe it better.
Great video!
Thank you so much! :)
I like yours pragmatic approach to things makes things easier though am a more gut feeling person.
I do make decisions based on feelings too, especially in the past! And trust me it hasn’t always been easy 😅 I think the pragmatism kicks in especially when trying to draw lessons of everything cause at some point you start seeing patterns.
Great insights there on multicultural relationships. I like your perspective on this very critical topic. I also would like to point to the recent dynnamics in African cultures. What we have now is just a shell of what was the traditional way of life. Modernity has taken over. In fact, from my vintage point, it is only the financial abilities that set us apart from the folks in Finland.
Thanks! Yeah I get what you mean! With many people I’ve engaged with from very different countries than mine, I don’t actually notice much difference. It’s when the differences (culture, religion, socio-economics, international experience, etc.) start to layer on top of each other when you can actually feel it.
@@ainoluo Exactly. Looking forward to more videos especially on productivity.
Good stuff, 🙌🏼that’s why you already have a luo cultural name as Aluoch!
Thanks a lot 🙏🏻☺️
we are really looking forwad to see this boyfriend of ours,,,,
Hahah now he’s everyone’s boyfriend? 😄 Thanks for watching anyway! 🙏🏻
@@ainoluo 😊😊He truly deserves to be congratulated! na akulete huku Dala pia. So as much as We really hope to catch a glimpse of his face one day; for now, we are glad & greatful for the joy he brings unto your life as it so evident in the way you glow & beam...
@@PalonaGeoffrey thanks for a lovely comment ☺️
I respect that you don’t want to reveal his face but do you mind sharing how you met?
Through common hobbies! Usually the best way to meet like minded people :)
Actually all that is basic...yeah respect each other... But really the important thing to remember is when the little ones pop out & where they pop out.
Chocolate babies. Particularly after Obama it's been hot. The amount of interventions I've been involved in is insane. Babies look cute, and European parent- in- law wants babies and the daughter ( in most cases) with them. Oh babu growing up in foreign ways....let's run back home to Europe... Money is tight and foreign guy ain't earning enough... Let's go home to Europe. & It is mostly women from non colonising countries that do it. Far fewer British, French, Dutch Belgian... Ah loads and loads of Danes, Germans, Swedes, Finnish, Russian.... It's crazy man. Less than 5% file for return of their kids through the Hague treaty and that too is far too many...300 in most weeks.
Yeah as I mention in the video that it’s so important for the couple to discuss where they want to eventually build their life and plan that journey together - is it in your country, my country or a third country? How do we make it make sense for the one relocating abroad? How do we take care of the cultural and language aspects of the child’s education?
I personally haven’t lived through this stage yet but these are definitely conversations that I’ve been having in my long term relationships even when I was much younger.
@@ainoluo most people from the former colonialist countries have grown up for generations in a multiethnic multicultural environment. They don't need these lecturers. It is the others like yourself from Finland when 30 years ago most people hadn't even seen a dark skinned person that may need these lecturers.
@@nanlog4303 A bit confused on what lectures you think “people like myself”, whatever that means, need and from whom? Not meaning to get defensive but my parents lived in 3 different countries, I went to kindergarten with Somalis, Syrians, Iraqis, Congolese, Bangladeshi, Roma and plenty of other people. I’ve lived in 3 countries and travelled to 30+, had long term relationships with people from 3 different continents and I can hold a conversation in ~5 languages. My father remembers seeing black people in Helsinki in the 1950’s.
I’d say I’ve been exposed to quite a multiethnic and multicultural background from a young age (and then chose to continue that way when I grew up) and so have many other Finnish people my age, especially ones from less affluent neighbourhoods in big cities. And even if they haven’t, some people have a sense of common humanity and respect towards other people and don’t, for example, make children for skin colour preferences or disappear with said children.
That's surprising to be honest. As late as 2002 I've seen Finn's surprised by coloured people. In Oulu I recall a colleague licked at by a kid because the kid thought he was made of chocolate. Maybe you are the exception... And the Somalis... Yeah, they've always been separated from the bulk of society if you were honest right? I know in the naughties loads of others have poured in.... But not the same right? Whatever you do I'd kindly ask that you emphasise the kids part of everything. Far too many kids lives have been ruined with people viewing life through bullet points which I feel you are engaged in. Other than that I wish you the best of.luck
I do mention in the video how I would solidify the relationship e.g. with marriage especially in an international situation as well as plan the practicalities together to avoid issues such as families not being able to stick together. As the video is about my experiences, I'm not gonna speak more on kids as I have none.
I am by no means denying the problem you mention as I've seen the pain and broken homes these things can cause but respectfully, I refuse to be associated with such behaviour as it reflects the opposite of my values in life.@@nanlog4303
I've been following you to see the guy's face but all in vain!! Otherwise, nice content
😅
If that’s your only reason to follow, better unsubscribe 😅 I find more peace in not explicitly sharing everything.
@@ainoluo but i get the guys point. iam camera shy myself, but on my kenya visit, i will be doing public speaking in secondary schools..it will appear on my youtube channel that i want to revive.your boyfriend should at least say jambo.
@@Flaytt744Good for you and your channel! I think it’s for me to decide what I show on my channel.
@@ainoluo it was just a suggestion. We are on the same page. No conflict.