The problem with social media is that people think there is always someone better out there and that’s why it is very difficult. You are never treated as a catch, despite having a lot to offer.
They think that because they self are not the best Version of themself, or they looking for what they not have... they dont know who they are .... they dont follow what they talk make you not a strong independent person 😂😂😂thats goes to All genders
0:55 that’s an international problem it’s not only in Berlin 😢 dating apps are a cancer spread worldwide, each person in this video seems to be nice and genuine, I wish they'll all find their soulmate in 2024
@@TheMovementHub they make hooking up easier but they destroy the idea of actual relationships and give people the "too many options= no choices get made" issue. The sooner all dating apps are banned the better off the world will be. Either that or welcome in the coming worldwide population collapse.
Women who keeps meeting men, that do not want to commit, and just want casual relationships, need to understand they are "shopping" way out of their league, and it happens a lot on those apps. And men and women need to figure out how to flirt in real life again. I am late 30s in a long term relationship, and I notice it, women are not sending any choosing signals at all. And if they do, I have serious doubt that men know it, unless it is a very clear choosing signal. Also, gotta meet in local activities, volunteer for something, and if you are a woman, and find chemistry with a man there, please send a clear choosing signal to him. Looking at him will not do the trick. Smile, laugh at his jokes, and maybe even touch his shoulder. Ever since metoo i think men dont know how their advances will be looked at, especially those you actually want to be with, those who are considerate.
Yeah he was so on point and very true in general concerning not only Berlin i guess but also the current lack of commitment/patience towards another person in the whole of modern society
@@S5Dic09 Oh, you couldn’t be more wrong. Try dating in big cities in China or South America - it’s the same or even worse. In China, they’ll straight up ask if you own a house or how much money you make, especially women. After hearing the answer they’ll make you feel bad right to your face or just ghost you. And it’s not just because I’m white; this happens among locals all the time, my friends have had the same experience. In Latin America, it’s all about looks and what financial benefits and status you can provide - that’s all. It’s almost never about the person, their hobbies, compatibilities, quirks, books they read, no display of interest in your personality whatsoever. And people there might drop you in a matter of seconds, with a big soap-operaesque drama with cheating and screams in public places, of course. Can’t really blame them, they’ve been fed this on TV for decades, and they all think this is how it all works. And if they were raised by just one parent, which is often the case, they might not have a clear idea of what a stable relationship even looks like.
I am based in Berlin and I think it is extremely easy to meet new people, go on dates, and have a good time. For those who are also new in the city, going out on dates is a good way to explore the districts and get to know bars and cool places. The problem I see with the dating scene in Berlin is that a lot of people have mental health issues and instead of going to therapy, they go on dating apps. Also, a lot of people after moving here, went out on dates with an open heart to genuinely find someone but after 3 or 4 ghosts, people think "Well, I also was ghosted, so from now on I also don't care anymore" and everybody starts looking at people as "discardable things". This probably has nothing to do with Berlin but with the dating app culture. From what I know, my friends back home (Portugal) also struggle a lot with dating and they live in small towns. Perhaps the problem is due to dating apps and social media. People have so many options that it seems impossible for someone to commit (fear of missing out). It is called "The Paradox of Choices".
It's definetly social media and dating apps. All the scientific evidence points towards that. It's the pure accessibility that makes potential partners an expandable ressource which can be replaced with little effort. Thus the selective pressure on each individual spirals out of control. Humans are naturally not made for this kind and amount of mating possibilities.
It's hard to find someone who doesnt have mental health issues or some disorders which really drag you down. Better be single than being in a borderline crazy relationship
@@Ukri1 I think most of people nowadays have some mental health issues, which I think isn’t the biggest issue. The approach to it is bigger problem, and also the fact that people don’t care about it and do nothing about it. Like person in the comment said “instead of going to therapy they go to dating apps”. And stigmatization of borderline personality disorder is another problem of our society. Of course it is hard, like in every relationship, trauma is a big problem and cause here. But if the person is aware of it and is getting enough help, therapy and works on themselves, then the relationship can work pretty well. Also other person in the relationship has to be very supportive, patient and understanding. Our society and mental health system makes bpd look very bad, incurable, crazy and the worst u can have. But thats just stigmatization of it and it is actually way more complex, trauma-based than just putting label “disorder” to it. So please try do bigger research before u just stigmatize it and write off people with some mental health issues.
@@gabele2386 I live in munich. I dated quite alot through dating apps. People are just rushing through people. You get nexted for the smallest things. People dating multiple people at once, shotgun approach.
The whole point is to take whatever is logical or ethical. And go in the exact opposite direction. Just so they can keep us in a loop. And not do anything constructive at all.
As someone, who is every weekend in Berlin, i feel Like the City is full of soulless people, every one of them is chasing the next type of high, the next kick or dose of dopamine, they think they’re interesting and have amazing personalities, but in reality their personality is bland, tasteless, boring. It’s exhausting to see so many people trying to fit in but also be different, special, unique. That is the root cause of mental illnesses in my opinion, I might also be wrong or have a different view on the world. But one thing I am sure of is that I want for my children to not experience Berlin or any other metropolitan city.
The chap with the poodle comes across as genuine and sweet. He's got a healthy attitude to relationships, it must be difficult when the dating scene is not conducive to such attitudes. Hope he finds someone who is on his wavelength 😊
Don't be fooled. Asian men ABSOLUTELY go for women way outside their league and are single because they only go for the top atractive women that pay 60/40 of the bills (not 50/50). I know several men that want women that will pay 80% of the bills and work.
it depends on which area you go in Berlin. in the oh-so-cool areas with many tourists and drug abuse of course you have a different mentality of people compared to more conservative areas or even the outskirts (Brandenburg), where the AfD is voted in majority....
Im a Berliner and my husband dated me 3 months before he received his first kiss from me. We are married now and got 3 children… We are together since 12 years. He’s my first sexual partner and I’m his second… you can find true love everywhere. Focus on one person and don’t date multiple people at once. Invest time and real feelings in the right person. Choose your partner not only because of their looks… search for a good soul… The problem in Berlin is that everybody has sex with everyone. No one wants to invest time and feelings in one person. They always think someone who is better waits around the next corner.
Why it‘s hard to find real commitment? For a multitude of reasons. Globalization, social media - but I’d say one of the most important ones is that everybody wants to be independent these days. Men _and_ women! Society desperately conditioned itself to not be reliant on anyone directly anymore, everybody wants to do their own thing. And therefore we get the results we (or the generations before us for that matter) were asking for, simple as that..
So true. I only have youtube. I let every guy know who wants to get my number or take me on a date....That I want to get married. I'm not interested in anything else😊
I'm 27 and have never dated or had intimacy in Germany. I was too busy with university, family, and sports. It is hard to find a partner who appreciates your existence.
Exactly. Nowadays due to social media, people often think there is always someone better somewhere and have little patience in getting to know each other. They want instant heat and then wonder why that doesn’t work longterm with persons who behave like that.
the girl talking about turkish guys left one thing out: some turkish men often hook up with German girls, because they don't see them as equal or valueable. no intimacy before marriage is just expected for Turkish women, which is really unfair.
We’re not obsessed about race, unlike Europeans. If you have good values, you’ll attract men with good values. Most Turkish men are raised with Islamic values, so they’ll expect their woman to reserve herself for their men. I know lots of German woman married to Turkish men. It’s about values. simple reality.
i call Berlin borderline city since over 20 years already. and it gets worse and worse daily. i just moved here to work as a relationshipcoach. what an irony.
Please leave. We don't need any more shitty relationshipcoaches in Berlin, we really do have enough. And why you move to a city which you don't like is beyond me. (I am from Berlin, grew up their, am married.)
@@annah995it’s not written here that she/he doesn’t like the city, it’s just an opinion which you took it negatively and too personal, cause the truth hurts he he😂
I got told by a dude I dated that wanting to organize a date before we left each other was exhausting. I asked if I did anything wrong and he stated, yeah, it was too much like a relationship and he wasn’t interested. He wanted to hook up with this other girl and I was stopping him because I wanted monogamy. I happily backed out, stopped all contact and went on with my life. Why four months later is he texting me again, telling me things with the other girl didn’t work out and he wanted to give me my book back he borrowed. I’ve never felt so good IGNORING a message. 😊
@@janushomer9111 Apparently, he was so far ‚out of my league‘ he thought I would graciously take him back when the other girl dumped him. Get real buddy. He even said I’d achieved more than he could by himself in life, so it was def the other way around. ✌️
I was born in Berlin and most of my friends were also born here. Most of them are in serious relationships. The problem with Berlin is there are so many tourists and that a lot of people who move here don‘t plan to stay here for long, so they‘re only looking for casual things.
It's the same everywhere. We have connection through the internet, but they are less meaningful. More people, yet, more loneliness. It's a universal problem.
I am german and I live in Berlin for 15 years now, but I also met my husband abroad in a completely different culture. I don’t think in Berlin I could’ve found someone with such strong family/marriage values or such a ride or die personality like him. What I see as the problem here is that people are longing for connection and ignore their own needs and values. A lot of people want to have a serious relationship or want to get married, but don’t really have to courage to voice that at dates because they are nervous to be judged or seen as not „cool“ „edgy“ or „fun“ There is also so many people here both men and women who have unrealistic expectations line they will demand a lot of your time, emotional support etc but when it comes to commitment or an honest conversation about where the relationship should go, would rather ghost you and move on. It’s so strange. I am speaking from own experience but also from my friends circle. I am really pleased I am out of this game.
Wo hast du denn deinen Mann kennengelernt? In seinem Heimatland, als du dort Urlaub gemacht hast? Die besten Beziehungen lernt man über gemeinsame Freunde kennen, das ist meine Erfahrung.
I think the problem comes from having lack of understanding of our values. Majority people today , regardless of their location, are lost in knowing what they care about and what they want. Our basic human needs are more than covered and humans do not need to try so hard to make money in order to survive. We have all lost a purpose and a meaning, which is reflected on our job and and on our relationships. Some people might really not want to have a relationship, but they just need to face themselves that this is the case. We do not know ourselves and the focus on ourselves became more after the introduction of social media and peaked around Covid times. The more people get to know themselves, forgive and forget, the better it will be. But it takes time, effort and self awareness.
Tried dating in Berlin for a couple years, its too flaky for me, people are non-commital in general (not just in dating but by how they live their lifes) and i have come to the conclusion that its a waste of my time and i'd rather focus more on other things. Plus most of the people i met were prioritizing social life over career or building something for the future, i.e. it was more important to them to how many events they go, how many countries they can travel to or how many friends they have. Hence why you never could meet someone just 3-4 days later but maybe 4 weeks later at best and thats just not working for me. On top of it comes, even if you manage to agree to a certain date, its also never really safe, it happend often that something was cancelled literally that very day. Which i guess all of it is a "whatever" or cool as long as you are in your 20s and have lots of free time and are in general in a 'searching' mode but at some point it becomes annoying if you are yourself on a different path. Due to my work i travel often within Germany also to smaller cities and all i can say is that the vibe on the streets and even on the dating apps for these regions is quite different to Berlin. Walking the streets in smaller cities i'd see women looking and smiling at me on the street relatively often. In Berlin people don't even look up when they pass you. My experience. Also when riding the public transports in Berlin, no one seems to look around, at least not the people i find attractive or interesting looking. Its as if people are scared to have a first contact, no matter how small, for the first time in real life and prefer the security of having made the first contact online first. Then you also of course have that constant focus on the phones, but thats a completely different topic.
Maybe you lived in the "wrong" areas in Berlin? If you stayed where the oh so cool people live (Kreuzberg, Fhain, Prenzlberg etc), then no wonder! Ever tried to flirt with tier 2 girls, i mean those, who are not so noticable and done up?? I mean the average and normal girl. There are many of them around, even in Berlin and in the subway, Sbahn etc. Theyll be happy if someone flirts with them. Instead of the drug abusing party girls who are used to be hit on by men.
I totally agree, after ten years in Berlin it was just a relief for me to start a living in a 200k city in western Germany - where the dating culture was much better (although app use was equally heavy - so there is clearly something peculiar about Berlin as opposed to other cities)
Dating apps are majority male users. People are hooking up via social media, it's going down in the DM's. That's the reality. Getting rid of dating apps won't change anything
Its hard to date everywhere, ghosting, lack of commitment and people thinking they will always find someone better. I dated in uk was awful, and in colombia its the same
How is it that everybody is bragging about that everybody wants only hookups? Where are those “hookupers” if the only people who answer the question are looking for a serious relationship?
Where are the ones of those people who only want hookups? *Open your eyes!* _They're standing in front of the camera!_ *These are the very same, just at a different time.* Since the majority of _young_ people going to big cities to study, are going there, to experience the carelessness of the Big City Lifestyle, study and nothing else - What is always expressively attached to the Big City Lifestyle, is hookup-culture, and it always was ever since. Yet *no-one* actually dares to put it that way and keeps that part left out on purpose, to gloss over degeneracy. So when saying they're only going to study in Berlin, Munich, London, New York, L.A., Sydney or some places else, they're actually *genuine* and saying the truth, though only _half_ of it … Since what they're all quite eager and about to go 'studying' (next to their claimed subjects and pleaded area of studying), are actually _The free Spirits and Subjects of carefree sexual Carelessness_ and the resulting hookup-culture, which is their actual field of interest, and was from the very beginning. _The carefree _*_sex_*_ itself is their main field of interest and _*_actual_*_ subjects to go studying!_ Everything else like the pleaded 'fields of study' are just a lame excuse for it, and that's how it's often treated, let slide and oftentimes failed. Many of them even go so far and make their main interest and resulting sloppiness a habit, which results in acute sloopines, letting slide their claimed areas of interest to the point of actually failing it and and in life and get expelled from their universities for being too miserable to participate. This giant spring break of carelessness over years, is _always a _*_wanted and absolutely intended break off and break-up from their former familiar surroundings_*_ and familiarity of the small town they're coming from_ (which is *judging* them), to circumvent societal restrictions. It's a deliberate break from familiarity of their own home-towns into the anonymity of the big cities. That is maintained until everyone of them (especially the women) are running out of time and have to find a long-term solution for going forward in life. … and that's when they're often get back home into the familiarity of their home-towns, just to find a clueless guy or gal to get with - Just to act as if no·thing ever happened and constantly tell anyone how awfully tedious and boring it was studying in the big cities (… all that in noble hopes no-one ever finds out anything of what ever happened prior to that in the big cities). The worst ones, who deliberately broke off with their families and ruined all ties forever in favour of the lifestyle they urgently craved and wanted under all circumstances back then, are the ones who have to _stay_ in these big cities, since they have no longer any place of familiarity to go for - The Big City Lifestyle has become their most familiar surroundings by then. Before it was the unprejudiced anonymity and necessary open-mindedness they were looking for, to engage in bodily degeneracy without being called out for it … All this happening is nothing new and is going on since the full last blown century and started even around 1850 … Nothing new under the sun. *So where are the ones actually wanting all those hookups!?* _Ask the younger versions of them they were, when they came_ - Not only into the big cities but other casual acquaintances' beds! *tl;dr:* Sex and The City was never a movie, it's a documentary and it always was and never anything else - Just tailored into a movie-length film format for the big picture!
@@Tanya1q44 To bad, you might have learned something new! Ignorance is bliss, right? Though don't come crying later on, where all the good men would be hiding. 🥰
I’ve never really participated in the hookup culture cause of low self esteem but I would rather have random hookups than take someone serious who lived the hook up life and now wants a safety net that just seems like volunteering to be a sucker.
How will you ever know there past .. everyone is lying each other ... nobody can be trusted men should be ruthless in coping with lies , brkups , infedility etc ..and women should choose wisely have patience 😊
Indeed Social Media and Dating apps create the illusion of "infinite choice". But its only infinite choice for hookups, not serious relationships. Think of it this way. Who profits from hookup culture and not many serious long term relationships? Its not a conspiracy theory to just follow the money. The apps are engineered to keep you on them for as long as possible.
Women who keeps meeting men, that do not want to commit, and just want casual relationships, need to understand they are shopping way out of their league. Someone needs to tell them, because other women will not. As they see them as competition.
@@ronnie5329 Everyone who tells them is labeled sexist or incel. The thing is women are not honest with themself in their circles. They gassing each other up how beautiful and pretty they are. Men jump in on it in hopes to get laid. So women never really face reality the way men are in the dating scene. If you are unattractive as a man, you will know very fast growing up.
@@raze956I would say yes because there’s less community so your somewhat forced to be independent since you can only have small amount of close relationships. Look at Dunbars number for example.
I disagree. It s also hard in countryside to date-people are also busy there. I see it as a dynamic in the society because of the changes ( families are not anymore simply pragmatic, roles of men and women are luckily not anymore split in one is earning money and the other one is emotionally and financially depending on the other one ), media changes a lot, but also working life and mentality of course. It s not only Berlin, I experienced it in small towns and in villages too and I know others make these experiences too.
What you said are truly right. So thoughtful. Actually everything are changing and some people will find way but some people can not. But i think love is alwYs needed maybe it changed into different forms but yes some old days love seem more romantic.
@@Kmy-karlin Old day love actually was not more romantic-it was more toxic actually: more dependency, more standards, more pressure of norm, ,more pragmatic. There will be new forms-there are already
I found the love of my life in Berlin on a dating app. It’s the best, most understanding, loving, empathetic, funny person I’ve ever met. As someone else said in the comments, don’t give up!! ❤
@@janushomer9111 do you have psychological problem buddy? Then you should meet some therapist,then you might able to find happy & healthy mindset to live among society . But now as in your current condition it'll be harder for you & other people's too. Take Care.
As a native West-Berliner I can tell you this problem is everywhere. Even in towns and the countryside. Humans have become too addicted to screens. The big city problem that adds to it is drugs and too much nightlife. Also keep in mind that Berlin is a traumatized city, we were divided. Yet this city constantly changes like no other. It will always be broken and permanently changing. This is the energy of my city - if you can‘t handle it, it‘s not for you! 😊 Berlin is beautiful and very green! 💚 If you really seek true love, you can find it everywhere. Certainly not in apps!!! 😂👈🏼
Dating apps don’t work for several reasons. Despite this, you can find love everywhere. I know tons of people who have serious monogamous long-term relationships in Berlin. If you don’t find the right one, have a look at yourself and your own attachment issues. You always attract what you are ready for….
@@Hapotecario Relationships change yes but just because there were more and longer relationships in the past does not necessarily mean they were more meaningful.... My parents were married for 50 years and had a horrible marriage full of contempt. I'm not a toxic positivity person but I also do not believe victim mentality helps in any way.
@@j0e1s2s3 The individual problem and the social problem are connected but have different things that should be considered. There's a whole lot of loneliness in individuals and lack of meaningful relationships. Because it might have been worse in the past does not mean it is ok now. For the societal part of the matter, it seems most societies are on the brink of collapse in as small time frame as 3 generations if we talk about birthrate. Playing victim does not help much and neither does giving absurdly incomplete answers to very complex problems.
The fact that people move around so much and there is so much diversity, both cultural diversity and diverse lifestyles, contribute to the decline in long term relationships. We are all strangers living close together that have very little in common, except sex and maybe one or two tv shows that we watch, and long term relationships are rarely possible when that's all you have in common. We really don't care about the people around us and why should we? They have nothing to do with our immediate lives and offer little to no emotional value.
@@gmaxh4549 It is! Sexuality is connected with perception of value, hook up culture is all about women pursuing men of very high value that are never going to commit to them, so they just sleep around until eventually realizing this doesn't work. Every once in a while, a lower value person will get lucky. Of course this is just a massive generalization and of course every single person is different and there are many unique forms of relationship and romance which defy this reality. However this is the trend of the 21st century thanks to phones and social media.
I think the dating scene in Berlin has less to do with Berlin and more to do woth modern day dating as a whole. Short attention span, dating apps, instant gratification.. people and their time have become completely expendable which is absolutely the wrong approach and leaves people a very bad taste in their mouth after a couple bad experiences
I live in Potsdam next to Berlin and after my last break up I dated quite a lot. I quickly realized how superficial and ego-driven the whole thing is. I remember: One of my first Berlin Dates "taughted" me, what Situationships are :D If you wanna have deep connections, Berlin is truly a struggle. Do not date there 😂
I met my now husband at the nastiest afterhour club. We’re both Berliner. We didn’t have any friends in common. Just met randomly! (For the women/people that always wait for the other side to approach ) I actually approached him! We married 5 years ago. It is possible
A lot of well thought comments here. I think boils down to that people nowadays are overly narcissistic without even realising and too much diversity around us, different backgrounds and waiting for the better deal that never appears .
Honestly dating just sucks because of womens unrealistic insane standards. Not 6ft can’t date, not a 7/10 can’t date. Average men literally can’t participate in dating whatsoever anymore.
Isn't it surprising that the increased levels of freedom that people have fought for through various movements have apparently not led to greater happiness?
The problem is the dating apps. Makes people think theres a bunch of options and people wanna see what every option has to offer. Kinda like choosing tomatoes at the grocery store...
folx, Berlin and Germany in general has really one of the best infrastructures for all kind of activities (for every kind of hobby, profession, from dancing to storm chasing, from bars to roleplaying, from bdsm to lbtg, from swinger to computer gamers of all kind, from gardeners, biking, runners, wanderer, singers, theaters (i mean the many you can simply participate in) , board gamers etc. etc.). everyone who is not an idiot can EASILY get involved into different circles - including masses of different international circles which are often combined with german ones. lets face it, most expats or expat likes have in reality often a quite limited life - only half looking into real options. i dont judge that but most dont really talk about the real options - only the international laziest/"easiest" way (tinder, bumble etc.). one can also use other social media (again about all kind of topics and interests)
I m 63! Was married in 86 guy stole my money,lawyers ripped me off,and i just feel nothing anymore for men!i have my dog,sport and traveling and i m ok!
I was planning to move to Germany from Canada until I met a bunch of people mostly immigrants ,who left Germany and came to Canada ,said it is impossible to make friends with Germans. I cancelled my plan for the time because Canada is bad enough but at least there are willing people and social groups where you meet friends , maybe not too close but still better than nothing. What i heard about Germany that it was worse. It killed my enthusiasm.
Yes that's true. Only if you have an income from outside it's worth it. But if you could manage that, it's an amazing place to live in Europe. The immigration process is tedius but doable.
Having grown up and living in Berlin, I find it's an amazing place to be. All these people complaining must spend their stays here in the metro at 4am or crawling through nightclubs, otherwise I can't explain how anyone could have a bad Impression of a great place such as this one
The more advanced the people are, the more ego they have and the harder it is for dating. Visit any underdeveloped country and you see people there are living happily as couple.
yes, latam does datting better, leaving aside the machism of course, but there is the real grab-hands, romantic, ego-free, loose (as in let's f then be a couple) love, you can see it in a lot of german couples who refuse to acknowledge their "partner" on social media because the girl is not sure whether this 🍆 will be hers by next week and so are afraid of looking slutty, yeah, right
I beg to differ, I’m from an undeveloped country and people are still struggling to form relationships with others. I think the struggle to find a genuine connection is a global issue.
I live in Berlin and I am in a commitment relationship and with the exception of one guy who has been single for ages, so is everyone in my circle of friends straight or gay. The problem is that there are lots of people who treat the city like a party hostel. Lots of people come for a few years, party and live their hedonistic life, blog about it and leave. They are not interested in serious relationships. See how most of them spoke English except the young woman who is from the Turkish community. She seems perfectly happy with her relationship.
With Germans you never know where you are. especially as a non-German. That is so true. You might think your friends and in sudden turn of events you don't have any closure and loyalty. I lived here my whole life and can barely count a German a friend.
If you want to date sexually active men and women who are easy to take home after a night out, Berlin is your go-to city, but finding love or at least someone who is mentally very stable, try again somewhere else
I think people often confuse real Berlin with its party culture. There are so many foreigners in berlin, many are here for a short time to discover themselves or to study, so they are not looking for a long term thing. Most of my friends who live here longer or are born here are in a serious relationship or married, including myself. And I’ve met my husband on Tinder.
true. the short term thinking is also very typical for left-greens, which live in prenzlauer Berg etc and are interviewed here! Converative Germans (AfDlers, CSUlers) prefer not to live there but imho have more conservative views on relationships. I am one of them and i live in Wilmersdorf....
Also ich bin definitiv eher linksgrün und auf keinen Fall kurzfristig denkend. Diese ganze Dating One-Night-Stand Scheiße geht mir auf den Sack, und die ist wirklich überall, nicht nur in Berlin. Ich hatte seit einem Jahr keinen Sex und nehme keine Drogen, ich kiffe nicht und saufen tu ich erst recht nicht
That's not only happening in Berlin brothers and sisters. I used to live in the U.S. and it sucks. Now I live in a small town in Mexico and it is the same. I'm better off being single and retaining my seed. God is the way!
This city is horrible in every way possible. People don’t respect each other, elevated egos, unrealistic expectations, people drain your mental health and energy, women crave for attention from other men even though they have a boyfriend, hook up culture, everybody thinks they are the main character, STDs, Drugs, living life solely for the sake of attention and competition without a self driven purpose or ambition to enjoy what real beautiful things life offers. I regret moving here from Galway, Ireland which is such a charming town and full of friendly people where people lived their lives to the healthiest and happiest. Lost 2 years of my life into this shithole.
it also depends on what people you surround yourself with. the "new to berlin and wanting to go crazy and leave my old life behind" type of people are actually like what you describe. It is hard to find a group of peers that doesnt base their sole existence on party and attention and lifestyle. You have to get into sports groups, culture and arts as well, thats where you find passionate people who live a fulfilling life.
You're scaring me lol. I'm from the charmiest little town in France (Biarritz, Basque Country) and about to move to Berlin as a single male in his 30's
People, delete all your dating apps and try to get to know somebody in person. Concentrate in you and your inner happines, and not what else is out there. Be interested in getting to know someone on a deeper level and do not invest so much time and energy in infinite superficial dates. See the person (not the object) who is in front of you! Since I removed myself from social media, I feel so much better.
I live in Berlin and dated here for quite a while before i got into a long term relationship. One thing i was surprised by is the amount of German women i dated who said they don't date German men. Obviously there is a selection bias there but I lived in quite a few countries and never heard that before.
the self-hated Germanism perpetrated by the zionist never stopped, and clearer than ever we can all see how diverse and welcoming is that country with doubtful borders and many bombs
You have to fall by learning to walk. A few times , then you know how you want to walk. Relationship is like that, who told us ? Nobody , who know their limits , their real self ? You learn it in extrem connection where someone can trigger it. Those who wait and not try, they will have it hard. And ones you find the right feeling don’t fucking let it go or destroy it. Many people are afraid then. You feel the real person. Everything will feel right. Like you can really solve everything.
I am from Berlin and it is more a love-hate-relationship. I will never understand why people want to move here. It is dirty, loud, lots of social problems. For me, it is simply my home city and I love the real Berlin people, which are unfortunately less and less.
It is not about neither Berlin nor any other city, no One will be able to find love outside his own Heart but people are sitting on love but they always want to look somewhere else))))
People are saying Berlin and Germans I’ve moved to 5 continents and the dating crisis is everywhere ! 😮people are flakey and it’s weird etc same stuff happen everywhere from America to Middle East ! 😮 No place is ‘immune’ now ! With globalization the standard is the same ! Worldwide !
Thank you for people who took interviews and I have some confusions/questions: that are all true (in their mind) but are you not equally same person or are you really a better person ? Did you really take first steps or just gave up really understanding and truly loving that person? The conditions and difficulties and differences you said are the root problems? Are/were you really be honest and do/did you really stand at the same positions to really understand yourself? ( lf it were right that what they want to express / see those are negative to themselves. So here "better " i mean more open minded or deeply want-to-know and people who try all they can to always find ways to make opportunities or efforts if you REALLY want)
The problem is just a few people want to work on a relationship (whatever, if it's romantic or friendship). Everything is instant and dating apps are like shopping on the Internet. Awful. But I know some people that they met on the dating app and got married. Kudos to them! But I know both sides worked on that
Vegan smoothie shops are good places to meet ladies in Berlin. I met two. It didn't work out but those are better odds than in clubs. Plus when you can hear what a woman is saying you can respond better.
@@alexvo3009 honestly i do not care about this at all. but it is actually what statistics is showing. its actually a problem thats causing many experts talking about it cause its affecting everyone one. its a circle . I just watched a whole interview . the guy in the interview was saying how its making everyone lonely both men and women. the men end up being loners and less successful in life as a result and the women end up being lonely and without partners cause they are all chasing the same men who have no incentive to stay with a particular women. again its not my mindset or anything its just that its become a sad reality and i feel like only ration thinking and solutions could solve this issue , not incel shaming or slut shaming
And through female hypergamy, the hookup culture also emerged. Women only date the best men, i.e. the top 20%. Women immediately offer these men sex. However, these men are not interested in you for a relationship.
@@saeidk736 I think this generation won't be able to change that. I think that in people born now or 10 years old it will get so bad that in 50 - 60 years you will have to think about how to keep civilization going. Because in this young generation there will be no love or sex for the majority of men. A quick solution only works with a burqa, allowing violence against women and men have to earn more money.
that guy is holding on to the dog for dear life . kind of sums up his and everyone else's dating experiences. i feel for these people, and anyone who is trying to date, in general. i met boyfriends organically 40 years ago .... yes it's dating me but god, i can't imagine having the courage to do dating apps whatsoever.
I was thinking the same thing , that is his post dating therapy dog . The dog is squirming to get free and probably thinking glad I am not part of this nutty species .
Dating app often lead to smash and dash whatever your purpose. Few of them got match one or twice a week.The disease and virus got more travel than me.
Because people go there to write angry slogans all over the walls, to do drugs at weekend long parties and to explore their sexualities in large groups and networks, that's why.
The problem with social media is that people think there is always someone better out there and that’s why it is very difficult. You are never treated as a catch, despite having a lot to offer.
Yep Socials and Dating Apps help create the illusion of infinite choice, and there is but only for hookups. Not for serious relationships.
They think that because they self are not the best Version of themself, or they looking for what they not have... they dont know who they are .... they dont follow what they talk make you not a strong independent person 😂😂😂thats goes to All genders
on point
Berlin is poor thats the offer
It's not only for hookups, that's what men say. Most girls I know using the apps want relationships. @@aikighost
0:55 that’s an international problem it’s not only in Berlin 😢 dating apps are a cancer spread worldwide, each person in this video seems to be nice and genuine, I wish they'll all find their soulmate in 2024
They make it easier and harder at the same time. I personally don't like them at all.
I totally agree! They all seem indeed kinda sympatic, so what they conclude is actually very sad!!
@@TheMovementHub they make hooking up easier but they destroy the idea of actual relationships and give people the "too many options= no choices get made" issue.
The sooner all dating apps are banned the better off the world will be. Either that or welcome in the coming worldwide population collapse.
Women who keeps meeting men, that do not want to commit, and just want casual relationships, need to understand they are "shopping" way out of their league, and it happens a lot on those apps. And men and women need to figure out how to flirt in real life again. I am late 30s in a long term relationship, and I notice it, women are not sending any choosing signals at all. And if they do, I have serious doubt that men know it, unless it is a very clear choosing signal.
Also, gotta meet in local activities, volunteer for something, and if you are a woman, and find chemistry with a man there, please send a clear choosing signal to him. Looking at him will not do the trick. Smile, laugh at his jokes, and maybe even touch his shoulder. Ever since metoo i think men dont know how their advances will be looked at, especially those you actually want to be with, those who are considerate.
@@ronnie5329 i feel this Statement a loot! It is very unfortunate…
The guy holding the dog said it all.
Yeah he was so on point and very true in general concerning not only Berlin i guess but also the current lack of commitment/patience towards another person in the whole of modern society
@@wien1563yeah it’s been hard to make friends for the same reason
@@wien1563 no, big cities and white countries are like this
@@S5Dic09 Oh, you couldn’t be more wrong. Try dating in big cities in China or South America - it’s the same or even worse. In China, they’ll straight up ask if you own a house or how much money you make, especially women. After hearing the answer they’ll make you feel bad right to your face or just ghost you. And it’s not just because I’m white; this happens among locals all the time, my friends have had the same experience. In Latin America, it’s all about looks and what financial benefits and status you can provide - that’s all. It’s almost never about the person, their hobbies, compatibilities, quirks, books they read, no display of interest in your personality whatsoever. And people there might drop you in a matter of seconds, with a big soap-operaesque drama with cheating and screams in public places, of course. Can’t really blame them, they’ve been fed this on TV for decades, and they all think this is how it all works. And if they were raised by just one parent, which is often the case, they might not have a clear idea of what a stable relationship even looks like.
@@D.A.A.321thats what he said, big cities 😂
I am based in Berlin and I think it is extremely easy to meet new people, go on dates, and have a good time. For those who are also new in the city, going out on dates is a good way to explore the districts and get to know bars and cool places.
The problem I see with the dating scene in Berlin is that a lot of people have mental health issues and instead of going to therapy, they go on dating apps.
Also, a lot of people after moving here, went out on dates with an open heart to genuinely find someone but after 3 or 4 ghosts, people think "Well, I also was ghosted, so from now on I also don't care anymore" and everybody starts looking at people as "discardable things". This probably has nothing to do with Berlin but with the dating app culture.
From what I know, my friends back home (Portugal) also struggle a lot with dating and they live in small towns.
Perhaps the problem is due to dating apps and social media. People have so many options that it seems impossible for someone to commit (fear of missing out). It is called "The Paradox of Choices".
Why commit? LET'S HAVE FUN!
It's definetly social media and dating apps. All the scientific evidence points towards that. It's the pure accessibility that makes potential partners an expandable ressource which can be replaced with little effort. Thus the selective pressure on each individual spirals out of control. Humans are naturally not made for this kind and amount of mating possibilities.
really well put together 👏
It's hard to find someone who doesnt have mental health issues or some disorders which really drag you down. Better be single than being in a borderline crazy relationship
@@Ukri1
I think most of people nowadays have some mental health issues, which I think isn’t the biggest issue. The approach to it is bigger problem, and also the fact that people don’t care about it and do nothing about it. Like person in the comment said “instead of going to therapy they go to dating apps”. And stigmatization of borderline personality disorder is another problem of our society. Of course it is hard, like in every relationship, trauma is a big problem and cause here. But if the person is aware of it and is getting enough help, therapy and works on themselves, then the relationship can work pretty well. Also other person in the relationship has to be very supportive, patient and understanding. Our society and mental health system makes bpd look very bad, incurable, crazy and the worst u can have. But thats just stigmatization of it and it is actually way more complex, trauma-based than just putting label “disorder” to it. So please try do bigger research before u just stigmatize it and write off people with some mental health issues.
it's not just Berlin, these problems are common all over the US and Europe
Though the Big Cities represent the pinnacle of it, especially the shallow and meaningless lifestyle.
Trust me, its way more a problem in Berlin then other German cities
@@gabele2386 I live in munich. I dated quite alot through dating apps. People are just rushing through people. You get nexted for the smallest things. People dating multiple people at once, shotgun approach.
I live in Oslo, exact same thing
@@seahorse_ridereven in Oslo? damn there's no hope for Europe😂
Dating in nowadays its almost impossible. Congarts to narcissistic social media and government you made it 👏
But only because women exclusively only want 6‘4ft Chads
😂😂😂😂
It's because of liberalism
The whole point is to take whatever is logical or ethical. And go in the exact opposite direction.
Just so they can keep us in a loop. And not do anything constructive at all.
@@eksbocks9438yes they are in loop😂
As someone, who is every weekend in Berlin, i feel Like the City is full of soulless people, every one of them is chasing the next type of high, the next kick or dose of dopamine, they think they’re interesting and have amazing personalities, but in reality their personality is bland, tasteless, boring. It’s exhausting to see so many people trying to fit in but also be different, special, unique. That is the root cause of mental illnesses in my opinion, I might also be wrong or have a different view on the world. But one thing I am sure of is that I want for my children to not experience Berlin or any other metropolitan city.
I resonate with this! 💯
The chap with the poodle comes across as genuine and sweet. He's got a healthy attitude to relationships, it must be difficult when the dating scene is not conducive to such attitudes. Hope he finds someone who is on his wavelength 😊
Don't be fooled. Asian men ABSOLUTELY go for women way outside their league and are single because they only go for the top atractive women that pay 60/40 of the bills (not 50/50).
I know several men that want women that will pay 80% of the bills and work.
That's why he has his poodle for now ;)
it depends on which area you go in Berlin. in the oh-so-cool areas with many tourists and drug abuse of course you have a different mentality of people compared to more conservative areas or even the outskirts (Brandenburg), where the AfD is voted in majority....
My only question is: How can he not pick up someone with that adorable poodle!?
Im a Berliner and my husband dated me 3 months before he received his first kiss from me. We are married now and got 3 children… We are together since 12 years. He’s my first sexual partner and I’m his second… you can find true love everywhere. Focus on one person and don’t date multiple people at once. Invest time and real feelings in the right person. Choose your partner not only because of their looks… search for a good soul…
The problem in Berlin is that everybody has sex with everyone. No one wants to invest time and feelings in one person. They always think someone who is better waits around the next corner.
Happy to hear. I wish you all the best!
@@TheMovementHub thank you ♥️
This is so true!
@@caribbeankpoplover thank you so much ♥️♥️♥️♥️
how do I know its the right person?
,,Like lots of Egos nowadays“
Seems the 'Plague of Hookup' is a universal problem for most big metropolitan city. It's nearly impossible dating normally
Barcelona is exactly the same shit but with more sunny days
Why it‘s hard to find real commitment? For a multitude of reasons. Globalization, social media - but I’d say one of the most important ones is that everybody wants to be independent these days. Men _and_ women! Society desperately conditioned itself to not be reliant on anyone directly anymore, everybody wants to do their own thing. And therefore we get the results we (or the generations before us for that matter) were asking for, simple as that..
So true. I only have youtube. I let every guy know who wants to get my number or take me on a date....That I want to get married. I'm not interested in anything else😊
Independence means loneliness
@@CIA.2024-u9bNo it’s not u incel. It means freedom, making your own choices, etc. U are supposed to be independent.
@@sabrinagonzales4456 We are supposed to become one.
@@CIA.2024-u9b No we are not, that’s prison. Freedom, peace, independence, and unlimited growth is the way. Nothing can’t compete with that.
I'm 27 and have never dated or had intimacy in Germany. I was too busy with university, family, and sports. It is hard to find a partner who appreciates your existence.
Exactly. Nowadays due to social media, people often think there is always someone better somewhere and have little patience in getting to know each other. They want instant heat and then wonder why that doesn’t work longterm with persons who behave like that.
If your blonde and blue eyed shush and make children. Otherwise no loss
Why A partner?! HAVE SEX. ENJOY. EXPERIMENT. THE MORE SEX YOU HAVE, THE MOST LIKELY YOU WILL FIND LIKE MINDED AND F___ PEOPLE.
male or female
totally understand, system is broken
the girl talking about turkish guys left one thing out: some turkish men often hook up with German girls, because they don't see them as equal or valueable. no intimacy before marriage is just expected for Turkish women, which is really unfair.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
That's sad but true. Me and my friends heart more than 1 time "german girls are for getting fucked, muslim girls ate for getting married"
🥲
We’re not obsessed about race, unlike Europeans. If you have good values, you’ll attract men with good values.
Most Turkish men are raised with Islamic values, so they’ll expect their woman to reserve herself for their men.
I know lots of German woman married to Turkish men. It’s about values. simple reality.
then, german should abstain from hooking up with them? Oh, wait...no accoutability
That’s racist stereotypes and not true at all. It depends and most familys are modern nowadays.
i call Berlin borderline city since over 20 years already. and it gets worse and worse daily. i just moved here to work as a relationshipcoach. what an irony.
Omg a relationshipcoach in Berlin…lots of work to do I guess😵💫
You will never run out of clients😂
Please leave. We don't need any more shitty relationshipcoaches in Berlin, we really do have enough. And why you move to a city which you don't like is beyond me. (I am from Berlin, grew up their, am married.)
@@annah995it’s not written here that she/he doesn’t like the city, it’s just an opinion which you took it negatively and too personal, cause the truth hurts he he😂
@@annah995 wtf married and watching this video, poor much?
I got told by a dude I dated that wanting to organize a date before we left each other was exhausting. I asked if I did anything wrong and he stated, yeah, it was too much like a relationship and he wasn’t interested. He wanted to hook up with this other girl and I was stopping him because I wanted monogamy. I happily backed out, stopped all contact and went on with my life. Why four months later is he texting me again, telling me things with the other girl didn’t work out and he wanted to give me my book back he borrowed. I’ve never felt so good IGNORING a message. 😊
women love A....holes
Cold mindset and rude. Glad you made it out !
In Germany we say ‚Opfer‘ to these type of people lol good choice you ignored him
he was out of your league
@@janushomer9111 Apparently, he was so far ‚out of my league‘ he thought I would graciously take him back when the other girl dumped him. Get real buddy. He even said I’d achieved more than he could by himself in life, so it was def the other way around. ✌️
I was born in Berlin and most of my friends were also born here. Most of them are in serious relationships.
The problem with Berlin is there are so many tourists and that a lot of people who move here don‘t plan to stay here for long, so they‘re only looking for casual things.
there are also many immigrants who doesnt speak german so at least meeting locals is a huge challenge :)
@@andreypopov6166 nah its easy to find locals in friedrichshain or lichtenberg
@@dio2388 i hope so :)
@@andreypopov6166 i live in berlin tho
It's the same everywhere. We have connection through the internet, but they are less meaningful. More people, yet, more loneliness. It's a universal problem.
Very accurate the guy with the dog. Everyone is busy and mostly in their own world.
true, but only part of the answer
I like how the guy in a brown coat speaks about trying. People nowadays change partners thinking it gets better, but not
Agreed 👍👍
I wish my ex could understand that. He thinks he would find better, I honestly doubt it.
@@francescaintrovaia5756 you can't force someone to love you because you love them hope you find someone loves you because more you deserve it❤❤❤❤
The social engineers changed the system without tests. So the change did not work, and there is no backout strategy.
I am german and I live in Berlin for 15 years now, but I also met my husband abroad in a completely different culture.
I don’t think in Berlin I could’ve found someone with such strong family/marriage values or such a ride or die personality like him.
What I see as the problem here is that people are longing for connection and ignore their own needs and values. A lot of people want to have a serious relationship or want to get married, but don’t really have to courage to voice that at dates because they are nervous to be judged or seen as not „cool“ „edgy“ or „fun“
There is also so many people here both men and women who have unrealistic expectations line they will demand a lot of your time, emotional support etc but when it comes to commitment or an honest conversation about where the relationship should go, would rather ghost you and move on. It’s so strange. I am speaking from own experience but also from my friends circle. I am really pleased I am out of this game.
Wo hast du denn deinen Mann kennengelernt?
In seinem Heimatland, als du dort Urlaub gemacht hast?
Die besten Beziehungen lernt man über gemeinsame Freunde kennen, das ist meine Erfahrung.
I think the problem comes from having lack of understanding of our values.
Majority people today , regardless of their location, are lost in knowing what they care about and what they want.
Our basic human needs are more than covered and humans do not need to try so hard to make money in order to survive.
We have all lost a purpose and a meaning, which is reflected on our job and and on our relationships.
Some people might really not want to have a relationship, but they just need to face themselves that this is the case.
We do not know ourselves and the focus on ourselves became more after the introduction of social media and peaked around Covid times.
The more people get to know themselves, forgive and forget, the better it will be.
But it takes time, effort and self awareness.
Tried dating in Berlin for a couple years, its too flaky for me, people are non-commital in general (not just in dating but by how they live their lifes) and i have come to the conclusion that its a waste of my time and i'd rather focus more on other things. Plus most of the people i met were prioritizing social life over career or building something for the future, i.e. it was more important to them to how many events they go, how many countries they can travel to or how many friends they have. Hence why you never could meet someone just 3-4 days later but maybe 4 weeks later at best and thats just not working for me. On top of it comes, even if you manage to agree to a certain date, its also never really safe, it happend often that something was cancelled literally that very day. Which i guess all of it is a "whatever" or cool as long as you are in your 20s and have lots of free time and are in general in a 'searching' mode but at some point it becomes annoying if you are yourself on a different path.
Due to my work i travel often within Germany also to smaller cities and all i can say is that the vibe on the streets and even on the dating apps for these regions is quite different to Berlin. Walking the streets in smaller cities i'd see women looking and smiling at me on the street relatively often. In Berlin people don't even look up when they pass you. My experience. Also when riding the public transports in Berlin, no one seems to look around, at least not the people i find attractive or interesting looking. Its as if people are scared to have a first contact, no matter how small, for the first time in real life and prefer the security of having made the first contact online first. Then you also of course have that constant focus on the phones, but thats a completely different topic.
Maybe you lived in the "wrong" areas in Berlin? If you stayed where the oh so cool people live (Kreuzberg, Fhain, Prenzlberg etc), then no wonder! Ever tried to flirt with tier 2 girls, i mean those, who are not so noticable and done up?? I mean the average and normal girl. There are many of them around, even in Berlin and in the subway, Sbahn etc. Theyll be happy if someone flirts with them. Instead of the drug abusing party girls who are used to be hit on by men.
I totally agree, after ten years in Berlin it was just a relief for me to start a living in a 200k city in western Germany - where the dating culture was much better (although app use was equally heavy - so there is clearly something peculiar about Berlin as opposed to other cities)
@heraklonas what city if i may ask?
Dating apps are majority male users. People are hooking up via social media, it's going down in the DM's. That's the reality. Getting rid of dating apps won't change anything
Its hard to date everywhere, ghosting, lack of commitment and people thinking they will always find someone better.
I dated in uk was awful, and in colombia its the same
How is it that everybody is bragging about that everybody wants only hookups? Where are those “hookupers” if the only people who answer the question are looking for a serious relationship?
Where are the ones of those people who only want hookups? *Open your eyes!* _They're standing in front of the camera!_ *These are the very same, just at a different time.*
Since the majority of _young_ people going to big cities to study, are going there, to experience the carelessness of the Big City Lifestyle, study and nothing else - What is always expressively attached to the Big City Lifestyle, is hookup-culture, and it always was ever since. Yet *no-one* actually dares to put it that way and keeps that part left out on purpose, to gloss over degeneracy.
So when saying they're only going to study in Berlin, Munich, London, New York, L.A., Sydney or some places else, they're actually *genuine* and saying the truth, though only _half_ of it …
Since what they're all quite eager and about to go 'studying' (next to their claimed subjects and pleaded area of studying), are actually _The free Spirits and Subjects of carefree sexual Carelessness_ and the resulting hookup-culture, which is their actual field of interest, and was from the very beginning.
_The carefree _*_sex_*_ itself is their main field of interest and _*_actual_*_ subjects to go studying!_
Everything else like the pleaded 'fields of study' are just a lame excuse for it, and that's how it's often treated, let slide and oftentimes failed.
Many of them even go so far and make their main interest and resulting sloppiness a habit, which results in acute sloopines, letting slide their claimed areas of interest to the point of actually failing it and and in life and get expelled from their universities for being too miserable to participate.
This giant spring break of carelessness over years, is _always a _*_wanted and absolutely intended break off and break-up from their former familiar surroundings_*_ and familiarity of the small town they're coming from_ (which is *judging* them), to circumvent societal restrictions. It's a deliberate break from familiarity of their own home-towns into the anonymity of the big cities.
That is maintained until everyone of them (especially the women) are running out of time and have to find a long-term solution for going forward in life. … and that's when they're often get back home into the familiarity of their home-towns, just to find a clueless guy or gal to get with - Just to act as if no·thing ever happened and constantly tell anyone how awfully tedious and boring it was studying in the big cities (… all that in noble hopes no-one ever finds out anything of what ever happened prior to that in the big cities).
The worst ones, who deliberately broke off with their families and ruined all ties forever in favour of the lifestyle they urgently craved and wanted under all circumstances back then, are the ones who have to _stay_ in these big cities, since they have no longer any place of familiarity to go for - The Big City Lifestyle has become their most familiar surroundings by then.
Before it was the unprejudiced anonymity and necessary open-mindedness they were looking for, to engage in bodily degeneracy without being called out for it …
All this happening is nothing new and is going on since the full last blown century and started even around 1850 … Nothing new under the sun.
*So where are the ones actually wanting all those hookups!?* _Ask the younger versions of them they were, when they came_ - Not only into the big cities but other casual acquaintances' beds!
*tl;dr:* Sex and The City was never a movie, it's a documentary and it always was and never anything else - Just tailored into a movie-length film format for the big picture!
@@Smartcom5bro, I’m not reading your dating PhD dissertation 😂😂😂
@@Tanya1q44 To bad, you might have learned something new!
Ignorance is bliss, right? Though don't come crying later on, where all the good men would be hiding. 🥰
@@Smartcom5I guess they’re all busy writing longreads in the comment section
Good men write long. I give you a short one. Wanna hook me up?
I’ve never really participated in the hookup culture cause of low self esteem but I would rather have random hookups than take someone serious who lived the hook up life and now wants a safety net that just seems like volunteering to be a sucker.
Exactly they’ve been independent their whole life and now that I have wealth I’m expected to share?? 😂
????? 🤨 did you read what you just wrote.
@@rockon8174 read it again for clarification!
How will you ever know there past .. everyone is lying each other ... nobody can be trusted men should be ruthless in coping with lies , brkups , infedility etc ..and women should choose wisely have patience 😊
Its disgusting
Found my husband in Berlin on tinder 😂 after 5 Date 🎉🎉🎉 got married after 11 months now is five years together still happy everyday ❤❤❤
Congratulations 🎉🎉. Best of luck to you
Social media and dating apps ruined it for us.
Girls started thinking they’re all models because of the constant validation of simps.
@@bugra320 simps can be incels too..
Yes i meant simps.
I corrected my comment.
Indeed Social Media and Dating apps create the illusion of "infinite choice". But its only infinite choice for hookups, not serious relationships.
Think of it this way. Who profits from hookup culture and not many serious long term relationships? Its not a conspiracy theory to just follow the money. The apps are engineered to keep you on them for as long as possible.
Women who keeps meeting men, that do not want to commit, and just want casual relationships, need to understand they are shopping way out of their league. Someone needs to tell them, because other women will not. As they see them as competition.
@@ronnie5329 Everyone who tells them is labeled sexist or incel. The thing is women are not honest with themself in their circles. They gassing each other up how beautiful and pretty they are. Men jump in on it in hopes to get laid. So women never really face reality the way men are in the dating scene. If you are unattractive as a man, you will know very fast growing up.
I feel like it is a general problem for the younger generations nowadays ..
That, and I guess it is even amplified in large cities. Less close-knit communities, more possibilities, and more independent thinking.
@@TheMovementHub "more independent thinking" that last point is not true at all.
@@raze956I would say yes because there’s less community so your somewhat forced to be independent since you can only have small amount of close relationships. Look at Dunbars number for example.
@@marcusr3795 Absolutely!
For older it’s the same
I fell in love in Berlin. Her name was Berliner Pilsner.
😂
😂
I disagree. It s also hard in countryside to date-people are also busy there. I see it as a dynamic in the society because of the changes ( families are not anymore simply pragmatic, roles of men and women are luckily not anymore split in one is earning money and the other one is emotionally and financially depending on the other one ), media changes a lot, but also working life and mentality of course. It s not only Berlin, I experienced it in small towns and in villages too and I know others make these experiences too.
What you said are truly right. So thoughtful. Actually everything are changing and some people will find way but some people can not. But i think love is alwYs needed maybe it changed into different forms but yes some old days love seem more romantic.
@@Kmy-karlin Old day love actually was not more romantic-it was more toxic actually: more dependency, more standards, more pressure of norm, ,more pragmatic. There will be new forms-there are already
I found the love of my life in Berlin on a dating app. It’s the best, most understanding, loving, empathetic, funny person I’ve ever met. As someone else said in the comments, don’t give up!! ❤
How amazing 😊. So happy for you and all the best to you
you might also invest your resources on casino, don't give up!! lmfao
Which dating app did you use?😢
Let me guess, you found him when you were 30, after sleeping with randoms from 18 to 29...
@@janushomer9111 do you have psychological problem buddy? Then you should meet some therapist,then you might able to find happy & healthy mindset to live among society . But now as in your current condition it'll be harder for you & other people's too. Take Care.
Liebe kommt nicht aus Berlin.
Durch die Nase ins Herz
I don't think it comes from Dusseldorf either
Kann dem zwar zustimmen, allerdings kenne ich hier halt auch hunderte Paare und Ehen, die das Gegenteil beweisen
@@gabele2386 generelle Aussagen mit Ausnahmen widerlegen. Der 80er iq zeigt sich
@@gabele2386 Gut für die hunderte Paare unter Millionen von Menschen. Wow.
As a native West-Berliner I can tell you this problem is everywhere. Even in towns and the countryside. Humans have become too addicted to screens.
The big city problem that adds to it is drugs and too much nightlife.
Also keep in mind that Berlin is a traumatized city, we were divided. Yet this city constantly changes like no other.
It will always be broken and permanently changing. This is the energy of my city - if you can‘t handle it, it‘s not for you! 😊 Berlin is beautiful and very green! 💚
If you really seek true love, you can find it everywhere.
Certainly not in apps!!! 😂👈🏼
May God guide all the young people in berlin
After having chlamydien for the 4th time, genitalherpes, a really bad tripper and a few abortions I gave up on dating in Berlin, gl.
Dating apps don’t work for several reasons. Despite this, you can find love everywhere. I know tons of people who have serious monogamous long-term relationships in Berlin.
If you don’t find the right one, have a look at yourself and your own attachment issues. You always attract what you are ready for….
I think this is good advice, but It does not justify the global trend of being hard to find meaningful relationships.
@@Hapotecario Relationships change yes but just because there were more and longer relationships in the past does not necessarily mean they were more meaningful.... My parents were married for 50 years and had a horrible marriage full of contempt. I'm not a toxic positivity person but I also do not believe victim mentality helps in any way.
@@j0e1s2s3 The individual problem and the social problem are connected but have different things that should be considered. There's a whole lot of loneliness in individuals and lack of meaningful relationships. Because it might have been worse in the past does not mean it is ok now. For the societal part of the matter, it seems most societies are on the brink of collapse in as small time frame as 3 generations if we talk about birthrate. Playing victim does not help much and neither does giving absurdly incomplete answers to very complex problems.
@@Hapotecario I still wish you absurdly incomplete waves of love for your life, don’t give up ;) 💕
@@Hapotecario oh and do dump the dating apps! they do not work indeed for several psychological reasons.
The fact that people move around so much and there is so much diversity, both cultural diversity and diverse lifestyles, contribute to the decline in long term relationships. We are all strangers living close together that have very little in common, except sex and maybe one or two tv shows that we watch, and long term relationships are rarely possible when that's all you have in common. We really don't care about the people around us and why should we? They have nothing to do with our immediate lives and offer little to no emotional value.
Yeah I’m think towards the future this will not end well looking at the macro scale IMO.
exactly. hardly anyone cares about neighbourhoods and societal cohesion. Berlin is just a stop amongst many for a significant amount of residents.
Hypergamy, worldwide problem.
That‘s not the single responsible factor..
That's not a reason for hookups...
@@gmaxh4549
Yes, hookups arise from female hypergamy.
Because women only mate with the best men.
Most men who have data, however, do not have sex.
@@gmaxh4549 It is! Sexuality is connected with perception of value, hook up culture is all about women pursuing men of very high value that are never going to commit to them, so they just sleep around until eventually realizing this doesn't work. Every once in a while, a lower value person will get lucky.
Of course this is just a massive generalization and of course every single person is different and there are many unique forms of relationship and romance which defy this reality. However this is the trend of the 21st century thanks to phones and social media.
Stop basing your views exclusively on all the red pill content out there and get some real life experience..
I think the dating scene in Berlin has less to do with Berlin and more to do woth modern day dating as a whole. Short attention span, dating apps, instant gratification.. people and their time have become completely expendable which is absolutely the wrong approach and leaves people a very bad taste in their mouth after a couple bad experiences
I live in Potsdam next to Berlin and after my last break up I dated quite a lot. I quickly realized how superficial and ego-driven the whole thing is. I remember: One of my first Berlin Dates "taughted" me, what Situationships are :D If you wanna have deep connections, Berlin is truly a struggle. Do not date there 😂
@Soooeren
I would date you :)
I met my now husband at the nastiest afterhour club. We’re both Berliner. We didn’t have any friends in common. Just met randomly! (For the women/people that always wait for the other side to approach ) I actually approached him! We married 5 years ago. It is possible
Damn apparently this is international...
A lot of well thought comments here. I think boils down to that people nowadays are overly narcissistic without even realising and too much diversity around us, different backgrounds and waiting for the better deal that never appears .
Honestly dating just sucks because of womens unrealistic insane standards. Not 6ft can’t date, not a 7/10 can’t date. Average men literally can’t participate in dating whatsoever anymore.
true
Exactly.@@Rainer125
Isn't it surprising that the increased levels of freedom that people have fought for through various movements have apparently not led to greater happiness?
One of the main reason is: choice overload or called otherwise the paradoxe of choice.
Great video 👏🏼 I can recommend asking women for a date on the street. After four tries I found someone very special ❤
i recommend playing the lottery. after 4 tries, i became a billionaire
@@janushomer9111 🫶🏽
The guy with the dog was freakin right
The problem is the dating apps. Makes people think theres a bunch of options and people wanna see what every option has to offer. Kinda like choosing tomatoes at the grocery store...
I like the guy with the dog! I'm here :)
He seems homosexual
I prefer a protective, masculine, jealous man any day over a man thats ok with me talking to other men.
ABSOLUTELY
yea but when you meet a guy like that, you say hes weak and controling. i have too much power over him and hes got no options
Maybe you are the problem if you are talking to other men then.^^
3:34 That strong and independent woman thinks otherwise
masochistic mindset?
I found my love in Berlin. We are happy together. Don‘t give up!!
the guy with the dog, spot on! people approach relation ships as fast food.
Wie heißt es so schön - Gemeinsam Einsam 🥲
folx, Berlin and Germany in general has really one of the best infrastructures for all kind of activities (for every kind of hobby, profession, from dancing to storm chasing, from bars to roleplaying, from bdsm to lbtg, from swinger to computer gamers of all kind, from gardeners, biking, runners, wanderer, singers, theaters (i mean the many you can simply participate in) , board gamers etc. etc.). everyone who is not an idiot can EASILY get involved into different circles - including masses of different international circles which are often combined with german ones. lets face it, most expats or expat likes have in reality often a quite limited life - only half looking into real options. i dont judge that but most dont really talk about the real options - only the international laziest/"easiest" way (tinder, bumble etc.). one can also use other social media (again about all kind of topics and interests)
It seems very fragmented and lonely - do a lot of people here die of loneliness and alienation?
Yes, they do :/ By su*cide. Lots of mental health problems in big metropolitan cities nowadays.
I m 63! Was married in 86 guy stole my money,lawyers ripped me off,and i just feel nothing anymore for men!i have my dog,sport and traveling and i m ok!
I can understand you as a man and i want to say god bless you
I live in Dubai, have watched those daring videos about NYC and Berlin and Scandinavia, and I see the same pattern everywhere.
So how is it in Dubai?
I was planning to move to Germany from Canada until I met a bunch of people mostly immigrants ,who left Germany and came to Canada ,said it is impossible to make friends with Germans. I cancelled my plan for the time because Canada is bad enough but at least there are willing people and social groups where you meet friends , maybe not too close but still better than nothing. What i heard about Germany that it was worse. It killed my enthusiasm.
Try Spain
@@TheMovementHub I could but they don't pay well.. lol also i think immigration rules are more complicated there
Yes that's true. Only if you have an income from outside it's worth it. But if you could manage that, it's an amazing place to live in Europe. The immigration process is tedius but doable.
Its true, i live here
Same for Dutch people
Berlin is a STD. People confuse it with a city often, no shame about it.
Having grown up and living in Berlin, I find it's an amazing place to be. All these people complaining must spend their stays here in the metro at 4am or crawling through nightclubs, otherwise I can't explain how anyone could have a bad Impression of a great place such as this one
@@tasse0599 Allerdings! Berlin ist eine der grünsten Städte der Welt, viel Kultur Kunst Architektur.
The more advanced the people are, the more ego they have and the harder it is for dating. Visit any underdeveloped country and you see people there are living happily as couple.
Couldn’t agree more👏🏻👏🏻
yes, latam does datting better, leaving aside the machism of course, but there is the real grab-hands, romantic, ego-free, loose (as in let's f then be a couple) love, you can see it in a lot of german couples who refuse to acknowledge their "partner" on social media because the girl is not sure whether this 🍆 will be hers by next week and so are afraid of looking slutty, yeah, right
I beg to differ, I’m from an undeveloped country and people are still struggling to form relationships with others. I think the struggle to find a genuine connection is a global issue.
Join to sport teams and find friends , partners with the same interest. Escape from cities.
Einfach nicht mit sich machen lassen, eigenen Wert kennen und sicher sein das man bei so schnellen Geschichten nichts verpasst im Leben.
if you don't love loneliness, you don't love freedom either: because you are only free when you are alone.
I live in Berlin and I am in a commitment relationship and with the exception of one guy who has been single for ages, so is everyone in my circle of friends straight or gay. The problem is that there are lots of people who treat the city like a party hostel. Lots of people come for a few years, party and live their hedonistic life, blog about it and leave. They are not interested in serious relationships. See how most of them spoke English except the young woman who is from the Turkish community. She seems perfectly happy with her relationship.
The way they describe it seem like the same thing in any others western country to me
With Germans you never know where you are. especially as a non-German. That is so true. You might think your friends and in sudden turn of events you don't have any closure and loyalty. I lived here my whole life and can barely count a German a friend.
They order fast food but expect a 3 star dinner 😂
Moldy bread more likely 🤣
@@gintonicx6 moldy bread is in Berlin 3 Star
@@gintonicx6 as a Berliner i like it shady but now it its bit rotten
Thank you for creating this video. As a Berliner, I really liked it.
Lovely to hear that. Thank you for your comment :)
If you want to date sexually active men and women who are easy to take home after a night out, Berlin is your go-to city, but finding love or at least someone who is mentally very stable, try again somewhere else
Easy how?
I think people often confuse real Berlin with its party culture. There are so many foreigners in berlin, many are here for a short time to discover themselves or to study, so they are not looking for a long term thing. Most of my friends who live here longer or are born here are in a serious relationship or married, including myself. And I’ve met my husband on Tinder.
true. the short term thinking is also very typical for left-greens, which live in prenzlauer Berg etc and are interviewed here! Converative Germans (AfDlers, CSUlers) prefer not to live there but imho have more conservative views on relationships. I am one of them and i live in Wilmersdorf....
Also ich bin definitiv eher linksgrün und auf keinen Fall kurzfristig denkend. Diese ganze Dating One-Night-Stand Scheiße geht mir auf den Sack, und die ist wirklich überall, nicht nur in Berlin. Ich hatte seit einem Jahr keinen Sex und nehme keine Drogen, ich kiffe nicht und saufen tu ich erst recht nicht
Nice program- serious and informative - good work
Thanks a lot :)
That's not only happening in Berlin brothers and sisters. I used to live in the U.S. and it sucks. Now I live in a small town in Mexico and it is the same. I'm better off being single and retaining my seed. God is the way!
This city is horrible in every way possible. People don’t respect each other, elevated egos, unrealistic expectations, people drain your mental health and energy, women crave for attention from other men even though they have a boyfriend, hook up culture, everybody thinks they are the main character, STDs, Drugs, living life solely for the sake of attention and competition without a self driven purpose or ambition to enjoy what real beautiful things life offers.
I regret moving here from Galway, Ireland which is such a charming town and full of friendly people where people lived their lives to the healthiest and happiest.
Lost 2 years of my life into this shithole.
Why not move back then?
it also depends on what people you surround yourself with. the "new to berlin and wanting to go crazy and leave my old life behind" type of people are actually like what you describe. It is hard to find a group of peers that doesnt base their sole existence on party and attention and lifestyle. You have to get into sports groups, culture and arts as well, thats where you find passionate people who live a fulfilling life.
You're scaring me lol. I'm from the charmiest little town in France (Biarritz, Basque Country) and about to move to Berlin as a single male in his 30's
People, delete all your dating apps and try to get to know somebody in person. Concentrate in you and your inner happines, and not what else is out there. Be interested in getting to know someone on a deeper level and do not invest so much time and energy in infinite superficial dates. See the person (not the object) who is in front of you! Since I removed myself from social media, I feel so much better.
I live in Berlin and dated here for quite a while before i got into a long term relationship. One thing i was surprised by is the amount of German women i dated who said they don't date German men. Obviously there is a selection bias there but I lived in quite a few countries and never heard that before.
the self-hated Germanism perpetrated by the zionist never stopped, and clearer than ever we can all see how diverse and welcoming is that country with doubtful borders and many bombs
You have to fall by learning to walk. A few times , then you know how you want to walk. Relationship is like that, who told us ? Nobody , who know their limits , their real self ? You learn it in extrem connection where someone can trigger it. Those who wait and not try, they will have it hard. And ones you find the right feeling don’t fucking let it go or destroy it. Many people are afraid then. You feel the real person. Everything will feel right. Like you can really solve everything.
I like your explanation.
berlin is hell, you can't change my mind. you can't pay me enough to move there.
who was asking you to move here?
Love is not something that you find it's something that you have ...
Berlin is different than the rest of Germany. Nobody likes Berlin except Berliners.
...and foreigners
It’s a cool place for young people but you grow out of it quite fast. I don’t know of a lot of people that want to settle down on Berlin
I am from Berlin and it is more a love-hate-relationship. I will never understand why people want to move here. It is dirty, loud, lots of social problems. For me, it is simply my home city and I love the real Berlin people, which are unfortunately less and less.
It is not about neither Berlin nor any other city, no One will be able to find love outside his own Heart but people are sitting on love but they always want to look somewhere else))))
People are saying Berlin and Germans
I’ve moved to 5 continents and the dating crisis is everywhere ! 😮people are flakey and it’s weird etc same stuff happen everywhere from America to Middle East ! 😮
No place is ‘immune’ now ! With globalization the standard is the same ! Worldwide !
delusional lol
@@S5Dic09 ? These are facts
Agreed🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌@@Meyouletsgo
Instagram has sort of marketed this global modern life that everyone should be living. People aren't living in reality.
Thank you for people who took interviews and I have some confusions/questions: that are all true (in their mind) but are you not equally same person or are you really a better person ?
Did you really take first steps or just gave up really understanding and truly loving that person?
The conditions and difficulties and differences you said are the root problems?
Are/were you really be honest and do/did you really stand at the same positions to really understand yourself?
( lf it were right that what they want to express / see those are negative to themselves. So here "better " i mean more open minded or deeply want-to-know and people who try all they can to always find ways to make opportunities or efforts if you REALLY want)
The problem is just a few people want to work on a relationship (whatever, if it's romantic or friendship). Everything is instant and dating apps are like shopping on the Internet. Awful. But I know some people that they met on the dating app and got married. Kudos to them! But I know both sides worked on that
Vegan smoothie shops are good places to meet ladies in Berlin. I met two. It didn't work out but those are better odds than in clubs. Plus when you can hear what a woman is saying you can respond better.
Yes and 10 times more vegan women than men so if you are a vegan man you are in luck .
Where have I heard this story before ?
Oh yes
Everywhere
Im not dating rn but i live in Germany and this seems horrible
Same in Barcelona and all modern and fancy cities. So sad.
Because Berlin is full of pretentious people
Everywhere now, but for sure the Europeans are the worst when it comes to ego. French especially.
Sounds like NY
What about London
@@miamiheats9655 even more
It’s just amazing how normalized and casual people are about casual relationships (meaningless hookups/sIut cuIture)
As a Berliner who came out of a five year relationship, this gives me absolutely no hope in finding someone new...
🥺 Tut mir Leid zu hören dass deine langjährige Beziehung zu Ende gegangen ist. Aber ich bin mir sicher dass du jemand passendes finden wirst
@@TheMovementHub super süß, vielen Dank! :D ach ja, das wird schon. Kommt Zeit, kommt Rat.
Ganz genau. Aller Anfang ist immer schwer.
Woman only want the top 10% of man (chads) and chads only pump and dump 💯
There you go 👌
Oh no.. Incel-Philosophy. I hope you learn to think clearly at some point.
@@alexvo3009typical npc ahh response 😂
@@alexvo3009 honestly i do not care about this at all. but it is actually what statistics is showing. its actually a problem thats causing many experts talking about it cause its affecting everyone one. its a circle . I just watched a whole interview . the guy in the interview was saying how its making everyone lonely both men and women.
the men end up being loners and less successful in life as a result and the women end up being lonely and without partners cause they are all chasing the same men who have no incentive to stay with a particular women.
again its not my mindset or anything its just that its become a sad reality and i feel like only ration thinking and solutions could solve this issue , not incel shaming or slut shaming
And through female hypergamy, the hookup culture also emerged.
Women only date the best men, i.e. the top 20%.
Women immediately offer these men sex.
However, these men are not interested in you for a relationship.
@@saeidk736
I think this generation won't be able to change that. I think that in people born now or 10 years old it will get so bad that in 50 - 60 years you will have to think about how to keep civilization going.
Because in this young generation there will be no love or sex for the majority of men.
A quick solution only works with a burqa, allowing violence against women and men have to earn more money.
It's so true. Berlin is the worst regarding that.
that guy is holding on to the dog for dear life . kind of sums up his and everyone else's dating experiences. i feel for these people, and anyone who is trying to date, in general. i met boyfriends organically 40 years ago .... yes it's dating me but god, i can't imagine having the courage to do dating apps whatsoever.
I was thinking the same thing , that is his post dating therapy dog . The dog is squirming to get free and probably thinking glad I am not part of this nutty species .
Dating app often lead to smash and dash whatever your purpose. Few of them got match one or twice a week.The disease and virus got more travel than me.
Well online/ digital dating is the wrong place to start 😂
These are the reasons for unplanned childlessness and declining birth rate. We dont see it now but it will impact our future alot.
Because people go there to write angry slogans all over the walls, to do drugs at weekend long parties and to explore their sexualities in large groups and networks, that's why.
Yes exactly. No normal wants a partner with that kind of history and mental disorders.