Childhood Trauma Secretly Lurks in Your Body. Getting to Know Your Inner Trauma Child. Expert
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 ส.ค. 2024
- Ross Rosenberg and Tracy Malone talk about how and why childhood attachment trauma is invisible - unconscious/repressed, and how to resolve it. Also discussed is how childhood trauma is represented in the body.
More information about Tracy Malone: narcissistabus...
Ross Rosenberg M.Ed., LCPC, CADC latest book, The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap (2018) and his personal development, seminars, workshops, and other services can be found at his Self-Love Recovery Institute company, www.selflovere...
Ross is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and author and is known globally for his expertise in codependency (Self-Love Deficit Disorder™), Pathological Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse and Trauma Treatment.
His book, “The Human Magnet Syndrome” sold over 120,000 copies and is translated into ten languages. Ross’s TH-cam channel has amassed over 19 million video views and more than 200K subscribers. He is a keynote speaker and educator who has presented educational workshops in 30 States/70 cities and abroad. Ross has been regularly featured on national TV and radio.
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Journaling is good too- if you can’t find a therapist, journal every day over and over. I’ve seen great results w/this.
What should you write when journaling?
@@sammyidris1002 whatever is bothering you, your troubles, worries etc. you can use journaling to express your emotions and for problem solving. I also find it helps to talk to a rational, level headed and trustworthy friend, family member or professional to help keep things in perspective.
@@wayforward5563 thank you 🙏
Last night i journaled the beginnings of a flashback and described my feelings and thoughts. Reading later i see how absurd my rational is.
Emotional abuse is directly correlated with physiological decay. I have lived long enough and seen enough to accept this as truth. Staying in an abusive relationship will literally take years off your life. Another superb video Ross thank you.
I am living testimony
@@eyesopentotruth My mother was in a toxic marriage both emotionally and physically abused, she died only 48 yrs old, please take good care of yourself.
I wish you the best. 💞
💗 I am 48. It's a journey many will not make it through, I am sorry she was one of them. I didn't endure physical abuse until the last days, but got out. Mentally, yes, it takes lots of healing to rewire the mind back to a place of normalcy.
@@eyesopentotruth You're 48!? What a peculiar coincidence! Thank you 💞 I miss her so, every day, and dream about her every night, with no exception. I'm happy you got out in time, I was only 11 yrs old when I 1st saw my step-dad try to strangle my mom, it was around 1am,loud screams woke me up, I saw he had his hands tight around her neck, her skin turned purple, I managed to escape out the kitchen window and run for help. It was so surreal, like a horror movie,-that memory will haunt me forever. But you're spot on, emotional abuse is just as, if not more damaging. I KNOW,my mom would still be alive today if it wasn't for him. I can't tell her life's story here obviously, but you'd see. Please take care, and remember, - (which my mom would never accept), it's better to be alone than in a bad relationship /marriage.
I tried to get her help, at the women's shelter so many times, but after 3 days, she would always run back home again :"( I know you have a lot of soul-searching /healing ahead of you,and I so wish you the best,but remember, you got out!! You're a survivor and I admire you for that. Stay strong,keep fighting, and know, that someone, across the pond, is thinking of and praying for you. 🙏💖
Much love.
@@hannahsarkisian6471 It's called Stockholm syndrome. Your mind inverts abuse to be love. I'm sorry you had to witness such horror. And for her death. Which, she really lives in spirit as testimony to help others. You posting this may save a life 😊😊😊💗💗
Most therapists in the local therapeutic and psychiatric communities really DON'T get it. They think you're dwelling on something that indeed is very hard to express and deeply repressed and when you can't articulate it and connect the dots, they hinder you even further by blocking your thoughts and memories about your past. They give you blank stares, show impatience and tell you you're "dwelling" on the past. No, we just want understanding and clarity so that we may overcome the emotional blockages and move forward once and for all. And, when you explain that to them, they still don't get it. How frustrating that is! Thank you for this informative video.
There has to be some trick to making that connection with a therapist. Maybe it is mainly those therapists who have the same past trauma and have successfully dealt with it that are able to understand us in the first place. But then what are the magic words that will heal us? Ross etc are telling us all the time and it makes no difference to me. I think it is only the successful implementation of changed beliefs and then changed behaviour that consequently leads to a better life. And only once this is achieved and realized that one goes "oh my shit, I am through it".
Brian P I agree. No amount of talk therapy is going to go that deep. Healing starts at the thought level. In the meditation group I attend, we are taught that negative thoughts are waste thoughts and that when you are having such a thought, immediately you should change it with a positive, self-validating thought. When you do that often enough, it becomes a new habit and the old, faulty belief systems get replaced by new, more productive belief systems. That's how we deprogram the mind and retrain it to serve us rather than being a slave to our own mind (and the opinions of others). It takes discipline and devotion. In medical parlance, it's the old: "Neurons that fire together, wire together."
Breakthrough Moment are you 100% sure that all negative thoughts are "waste" thoughts?
Shruthi Reddy In the sense that they keep you stuck and attached to negativity and the people, places and things causing you pain. It's a wastage of time and energy and an impediment to your own happiness.
@@brianp2780 Agreed. In changing our beliefs we automatically change our behavior.
I did a meditation that allowed me to find the little girl in me who was abused in several ways. I wound up taking her to a safe place in my mind, a place I had created in a previous meditation. It had wordrobes of dresses and rose gardens and I created a great Dane named Alice to help her feel safe. During that meditation I felt all the pain she was feeling leave my body. She just wanted some love, comfort and protection. And the wound that was caused when my father blamed me for being sexually abused, and then left the family for good had healed. It's amazing what happens when you learn to live and take care of that inner child.
Wow, Jessica Hall! That is an amazing and inspiring healing experience! Thank you for sharing 🙂
As a child I would myself as an adult.
Now I go back and visit the visit the child.
What meditation did u do
There is this Swami Nithiananda,he teaches a process called completion,
Where you are supposed to live the childhood traumatic moment, as a child and not remembering it,but reliving it,and the pain will diminish eventually go away,check it out utube.
Hi Jessica, I too am interested if you can share the type of meditation or name of it - is called - and where we can find it please.
I agree with the mind body connection . It took me 53 years to realise all my poor health symptoms are 100% mental stress .
hazel lucks I finally figured it out with the hair loss. The corneal abrasions weren’t enough. The severe car accident from overwork and over exercise weren’t enough. The abscesses tooth and the paralysis in my legs!!!! Weren’t enough. I get it now.
YES.!!
I just found this out.
I am 63.
We have to realize that our bodies/organs are constantly listening... be careful want you say to it, because we will manifest it.
@@carmelitaherazo5706 what "they say". It is always "They", eventually is through you, but it is THEY.
I have been diagnosed with two autoimmune diseases, my body has literally learned how to attack itself. I also suffer from terrible back pain as well as digestive issues. I know for a fact that childhood trauma is the root of all my problems! This video was very helpful for me, thanks for sharing!
144000lightworker Andrea
You have channeled me completely with the exact same types of physical disabilities brought on by continuing childhood trauma. My hope is you are healing ever so gently.
@@terawalker5495 he was triggering subconscious issues that's why it happens though thanks for saying that it gave me a higher understanding
N.E.T.; Neuro Emotional Techneque using applied kinesiology by a qualified chiropractor
I always thought back problems stemmed from the survival instinct kicking in. When you think about it in a metaphoric and metaphysical way, the root chakra is the survival chakra, where we need our grounding in order to survive and thrive, we have to feel stable and that our feet (roots) are planted firmly on solid ground, the base, (lower half of the human body) specifically backbone, is the foundation. When we bend over backwards for someone, or someone metaphorically stabs us in the back, or is talking about your back, or they give we a backhanded compliment, or something painful we experienced in the moment brings us back to a painful memory, (ptsd) our psychosomatic system takes the emotional pain body and transfers it into the physical pain body. This is what I have noticed in my experience in my life.
My back pain went away when i released my childhood trauma
You are so right on! I scored a 7 on the ACE questionnaire, and I have fibromyalgia (formally diagnosed) and C-PTSD (self-diagnosed, I don't need a fancy shmansy therapist to confirm it). I am now in recovery for alcohol abuse and that piece of it is really helping. My first husband was a psychopath and I was lucky to get out of that marriage alive, and my second husband was a narcissist. Twenty-two years of that relationship almost did me in. I have found yoga therapy (I am a yoga therapist) to be infinitely helpful, and going to AA meetings is a lifeline for me at this time. Thank you for this great interview.
You are a thriver dharmagirl. Go girl!
I am recovering from CFS/Fibro with lots of EFT and mindfulness meditation. See Dr. John Sarno's work/Nicole Sachs has updated his work and has a great podcast and FB group.
4 level spine fusion, quadruple disc-ectomy, and stenosis mitigation. I fit the trauma background like a glove. The demons ate my spine.
As a health professional I have connected in my mind fibromyalgia and patient's stories of childhood emotional trauma
Yes. The connection between emotions and the body is truly amazing
@Richard Mac Did you watch the video?
My parents used the mental healthcare system as a tool for abuse. I saw tons of doctors as they were looking for a doctor that would tell them what they wanted to hear. I learned from the original trauma at the age of 4 to shut my mouth except to playcate whoever currently was in authority. I did tell one after an inpatient stay for a suicide attempt at school. This man literally yelled at them, " Do you know what you are doing to her?!?" Of course we never saw him again.
So as a adult with a few more traumatic experiences under my belt, I had a deep distrust of everything and everyone including the people who could help me.
I'm 33 now. 29 years of extreme violence, emotional abuse, and loss and I am just now telling my doctor the truth.. it's A LOT of horrible stuff. Tomorrow I start a new med that is promising. I still am uncomfortable telling.. but I'm doing it.
Unfortunately, I have only realized what both parents and my mother's extended family were. The family that contains the pedophile who raped me. Still at this very second my parents have zero photos of me out at home or on their Facebooks. However, my abuser is front and center on their profiles. Within the past 6 months they have really upped their sick bull. First my teen daughter has learned to scapegoat me. She says things like they are verbatim from their playbook. My father who just inherited a 100k.. attempted to steal the little bit of money I had saved for a vehicle since I left mine 600 miles away when I fled my abusive husband who almost killed me. Today knowing that I am still in desperate need of transportation and still have no way to get one, showed off a brand new 35k car. I can't go into all of the things they do. It has really gotten worse since December. It is what seems like an effort to kill me. I have a few clues as to why.. all that are likely untrue. As usual.
I have officially accepted the fact that they really, really HATE me. I feel like my entire family including my daughter who left to be with them ( they have money, I am struggling) died.
29 years. I have fought them, everything and everyone.. my personality was to rebel against it. I am tired. My heart has atrial enlargement, a undiagnosed nuerological disorder, IBS, migraine, vertigo and I actually had a small patch of the shingles this week.
I had been very low contact.. now I know that won't work. I am sincerely considering faking my own death and leaving for God knows where. If I do not leave, I won't have to fake it. It's slowly eating away at my health.
How are you now? I hope you're doing better. I feel for you. No contact will enable you to heal. All the best ♡♡♡
Thank God you are an adult now and not that 4year old back then 😪...
Sending you love ...
Be strong! Have hope!!
You are still young!!
You saved yourself!
Your daughter will know someday ... do not worry about it ...
God is Righteousness!!
He is with you! 🙌
No contact-not even when they're dead, they don't deserve you. Heal yourself x
Dear lady, you have to go 'no contact' ... have to ... SAVE YOURSELF! X
God bless you I hope you are healing 4 years later 🙏🙏💕💕
At fifteen, my aunt said to my mother, "You're going to ruin this child". I was right there- no response. But, that statement is practically stamped on my forehead. I succeed and got everything I dreamed of, only to see it "ruin" or fall apart one piece at a time. I get this- i truly understand and work on my lil' girl self. Thank you Ross and Tracey.
Thanks for sharing.
I have had a pain in my neck literally. Having tried everything to make it go away I laughed and decided it was psychosomatic. Watching this video reassures me #1 I haven't lost my mind #2 healing my mind the body will follow #3 maintaining a no contact order against my narc abuser is vital to my physical health. Your mind & body connection is explained beautifully. I understand why watching your videos is so helpful, you are genuine & authentic besides experienced. Thank you, it's going to be a long road of recovery after 50 years of being a SLD magnet for narcissistic personality disordered relationships starting with my mother. Have a blessed day.
Gosh this is so true on how childhood trauma is invisible and how they are stored in the body, ive believed this for years but never knew how to put it into words. Thanks for your video Ross.
Omg, I yet again found myself in the company of a narcissist. He was the best, a lol psychotherapist and we were making plans to meet and spend the week together. I got a horrible cold, and I couldn’t get over it. We delayed our meeting 2 months my cold wouldn’t go away. He decided not to continue, 10 mins after the break up my cold disappeared. 3 years of trauma therapy and still attracting them, they last only 2 weeks instead of 5 years! I’m good. Read your last book looking forward to the new one.
wow
I very had two abusive relationships, both of them mercifully short, and developped two different health problems as a result. I am usually very healthy. Both conditions resolved naturally once I was free of the stress.
really just something parasitic lol narcissistic
I totally agree I went to therapy for five years and they never told me that I was a codependent dealing with a narcissist it was kind of sad because I am just looking back to all those years I went to therapy and all I did was sit there and talk and cry? It makes me think if I knew that I was a codependent I would’ve Educating myself more about codependency and wouldn’t have to experience in nine years of narcissistic abuse from relationships
Patricia V. Dr. Maya Angelou stated: when we know better, we do better. So cut urself some slack, forgive urself for not previously knowing what you now know. The lesson has been learned and hopefully now you won't repeat it and give urself a big hug and smile because now you know something you didn't know before. That's called progress. You've grown. You've matured. Enjoy.
Videos by ‘ Dr. Les Carter ‘ on Narcissism really opened MY eyes.
@@ernestinemorrison2799 omg thankyou ;)
John Sarno helped my back pain too! Then later on I ended up going to therapy and realized I'm a co-dependent. Thank you so much for sharing this, it is so validating!
Wow, this is mind blowing. My mom watched her mom burn herself at 8 and has been sick all her life I wish I could convince her to get help but they don't believe in therapy.
For those of us who have Christian spiritual beliefs there is a teaching by Katie Souza called The Glory Light of Jesus heals your soul. It’s a 4 hour teaching about the body, soul (mind, will, and emotions), and spirit and it goes really deep into this stuff. She covers this topic too about how the soul and trauma are directly connected to the body and manifests as pain etc. Thanks for this video guys. God Bless!
Thank you I am going to check that out
i started having backpain when i married a narc, but it took me 16 years to recognize that fact but i always knew something was off and that my pain was connected to it. then i got an autoimmune thyroid. i've been free for a year, and still have the all over body pain and fatigue. thanks for sharing this, i hope i get to the root :) soon!
Check out Dr. Sarno's work/books and Nicole Sachs, who has updated this work has a great podcast, FB group, etc.
That happened to me and I was devastated when I was called a Hypochondriac!! It was awful awful awful!!!
That is so wrong to call you a hypochondriac, that is not the same as psychosomatic. If a therapist or Dr leaves you feeling indignant they went about it in the wrong way.
Thank you both for turning on the emergercy lights on this road to recovery.
May you always be blessed♡
Mary R - thank you 🙏🏻
A troubled feeling (that's what I call it) that pops up when I am just about to doze off to sleep and that feeling that something will go wrong prevents me from sleeping. It does not last very long, it is almost as if something nudged me out of relaxed mind. It happens quite often, it is not a one time disturbance but a recurring one. I meditate quite profusely hoping that it will help and it does for a little while. I find that even at this age I have not been able to deal with it and it never came up during a therapy. Thank you Dr. Rosenberg - sometimes I hear terms and never really connect with it but after listening to you I did.
TH-cam is my therapist
Thank you so much Tracy and Ross for this video. Tracy your arrest experience sounds like a duplicate of what happened to me after catching out the guy I dated for a year. I was assaulted, had him arrested, he counter charged, my charges were not even heard - I was merely asked to follow the exit signs after a weekend in a horrific place. I went no contact with this person after a 6 month court battle. As a codependent it never stops. My estranged husband returned to come to my "rescue" only to find two years later, he is 10 times worse the narcissist than the 1 year boyfriend. I had initially left my husband because of his obsessive cheating and silent abuse. I went through 6 months psychotherapy which made me aware of my childhood trauma and my narccisstic mother. Unbeknown to me, I'm now struggling to leave the pits of what feels like the hell of someone I've known for 10 years - a malignant covert narcissist. It's awful.
Same thing happened to me...Long story short, I developed a chronic cough (was in my mid 30's, a smoker), so I thought I was chronically ill, and as soon as I finally escaped a 9 year relationship with a very low level narc, within a few months, my chronic cough I realized my cough disappeared..Still, at that time, didn't know exactly what was going on, but a milestone memory....to add to 20/20 vision.
This video helped me so much! I wish I lived close enough to have Ross as the therapist who could help me. Cuz I've never found the help I needed to recover.
i feel like there is also the potential for a procrastination factor here. it's like being a professional student who never gets a real job. there has to be a balance between learning about yourself and moving forward in your recovery journey.
Ross, the insights and glimpses of light I gain from each of your messages gives me hope. Thank you. 💜
I find it close to incredible and almost unreal...that as I LISTEN to Ross talk about these topics....I feel like I'm healing....BY LISTENING TO HIM SAY WHAT HE'S SAYING. It's a very strange experience!! Go Ross! You really get this isdue for me and I'm so exceptionally pleased I've found your content! Thankyou for your amazing insights with this.
Glad this is helpful Kenit!
When I was in a relationship with a narcissist, my psoriasis got worse and it spread to other parts of my skin.
Me too! The psoriasis spread and was definitely more visible
He literally got under your skin.
Tim H so sad lm sorry
I too have psoriasis did not realize that stress is what flares it up
Holy mackerel. Happening to me...
I would love to hear you speak in depth about the buried trauma in adoptees that is manifested in somatic issues as well as self sabotage. We have been through very tough teenage years with our 19 year old son, adopted from birth. Understanding his trauma has been the key to survival and recovery as his parents.
Wow. I actually had a flash back...I can't thank both of you enough for the work in healing that you do! Blessings!!! Will share this video.
cathy roncetti thank you Cathi - hugs
I think the term magnet makes a person feel like it's their fault. Like they are giving off vibes. It's more like they will put up with behavior at which a healthy person will feel outrage.
chateaumojo They are giving off vibes. It's called the law of attraction. We all create our own reality. If you believe something negative about yourself you will eventually find it mirrored in your external reality, specifically in relationships.
I have a child who is suffering NOW. I know the trauma cause and can't do anything about it because the school used the police to take away my ability to speak up. This was done to my child at public school. First complaint - teacher unjustifiably verbal assault- student gave honest statement "I already know this" because she did. The teacher went nuclear- ten minute raging, ranting,, screaming, belittling, shamming, blaming tirade "YOU DON'T KNOW THIS, YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING...." Principal of the school response- Blamed student and stated student attitude is the reason for the outrage. After that, random reports from other teachers and staff making false accusations without every bringing whatever issue they had with the student to the student before report to principle. Smear campaign was successful and 3 year long attached relationships with trusted teachers were all destroyed. Student no longer able to attend the school because of the hostile environment the principal claims does not exist when the student was terrified, anxious, panic attacks, nightmares, and did not know what to expect when she walked in the doors. I was falsely accused of harassment and school served me with no trespass order so there was no way to communicate with the teachers the student once trusted and felt safe with. It destabilized her so she is no longer able to handle any public situation. This happened in a K-8 middle school. Answering a question in quiet tone with honesty = Attitude?
School is where most of my childhood trauma happened. My Kindergarten teacher dragged me by my hair across the classroom and threw me into the corner. This was in the 70's. And that is just one of my many wonderful childhood memories. And it's only getting worse. I saw on the news the other night a teacher walk up to a special needs child sitting at their desk in her classroom and start beating them so badly I started crying and had to change the channel. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. School is poison , toxic, evil, and no parent should let their child go there.
I spent my entire childhood hiding no clue why
Why !!!! You are more than enough !!!! Narcissists has ruined sooooo many lives in this universe!!!!!
The invisible child....know that feeling
Ross, my ex had the same back issue when I first met him. I am a codependent. He had this same back problem for years/decades. My mother told him about the Mind Over Back Pain book and he absolutely disagreed with her. His father was a doctor ... he was from a closed and highly dysfunctional family. He is still a unresolved Covert Narcissist who has hurt many...and he still has the debilitating back pain.
Back pain means lack of support you must have felt a lot of lack of support.
I am a therapist and I have been trained in trauma therapy, have my own childhood trauma and have seen numerous therapists myself. I thought I had dealt with my trauma however after being married for 11 yrs. after some real struggles in our marriage I decided I was going to start standing up for my self. When I started doing this though I noticed my husband becoming more aggressive and emotionally/psychologically abusive. After this began happening he eventually became physically abusive and at this point it knocked me back into flashbacks of my childhood and I would end up freezing whenever he was being super aggressive. This went on for about a year before I realized I was experiencing PTSD partially from the abuse from him but then also having reoccurring flashbacks from my childhood. I realized at this point that my husband was a narcissist. It’s been quite a learning experience.
Thanks so much for sharing.
I finally understood this concept because of their authentic vulnerability.
Thanks for listening Kim.
Absolutely fascinating & rings true for me as far as Fibromyagia goes! My mother is a full on Narc and the man that raised me for the 1st ten yrs. of my life was physically abusive and I was terrified of him!!!
So sorry that happened to you 🌹
It's true what he said about trauma and not remembering. For years I thought I was a bit off because there were things I couldn't remember from childhood or something that would happen and 2 days later, I don't quite remember the event or the feeling. I later realized that that was my body protecting me in some ways.
I believe there is a definate connection. Only in western society do we separate our mind body, emotional connections. As a child I had severe headaches daily and finally my mother brought me to the doctor, I was around 7 or 8 years old and I will never forget how the doctor told my mother without knowing our family... "Stop fighting with your husband in front of your children!." I never forgot that because he was right. I also had severe endometriosis all throughout my marriage with a covert narcissist. I really appreciate your video. Thanks and God bless you both!
Thanks so much for sharing!
My body reacts to trauma like that. My father is a narcissist. I notice that I get sick, depressed and burned out. It must have to do with being in these narcissistic relationships. When I come out of one and heal I’m happier and content. My depression and anxiety may stem from this.
I had a melanoma skin cancer surgeon told me skin cancer can be cause by horrible stress and trauma.
Thanks both of you for sharing stories of narcs and borderlines etc. calling the police on the victim. This also happened to me! I wish law enforcement was more aware of this even though you can see this proven on real life crime shows -sometimes the cops find out only after the murder of the real victim. Character assassination, being made homeless, and abusers making unwitting or unconcerned law enforcement complicit in total domination, abuse and alienation or destruction of means to survival is all too common!
marriage is for suckers, find a nice girl, have a happy healthy relationship and an offshore account and all your assets in a trust (with yourself as the beneficiary of course). Whay do ppl still get married today is beyond me.
@crooked truth83 they think they're the only ones that have ever been hurt or been ripped off
I found Dr Sarnos book helpful too! So glad you brought it up.
I had my lower spine destroyed (so i tought) since i was 17 i always tought it was poor excercise execution. Since i cut my narc family and contacts out at the age of 35, my back stopped giving me any pain. I cant describe how happy i am, cause i had my legs paralysed 3 times for max 2 days, had to watch out for many gym and normal life things . Now I feel better than ever!
All the best and be strong people, later on it gets only better and better, when you stop dealing with these kids
Thanks for all this great information! I have worked through lots of trauma from my past, but find many dear friends address are still experiencing trauma and so they open up to me. A friend has MS and certainly PTSD from childhood experiences! This certainly helps me ro be more empathetic and supportive as they move toward healing!
Tracy, thank you for sharing your experience! I have had 2 that were very similar! I am doing everything in my power to educate myself and be aware that I am susceptible to narcissists. I love them and all their lies and abuse. Knowledge is power!
Ross & Tracy thanks for sharing this information. I discovered that my mom is a Narcissist & I broke out in hives really bad. Nothing could help me not even a dermalogist nor an alergy Doctor. It took a while for me to heal physically. But this was one of the most scariest things in my life.
That was your nerves reacting to shock.
Thank you so much for this video. I 100% identify with everything discussed in here. I’m 40 and I still haven’t found a therapist/mental health professional who knows what to tell me to do. And they always seem to ignore the things I link together. I’m also probably far too careful to not seem like I’m stepping on their toes or acting as if I know more than they do. But I dream of the day when I can connect with someone who understands this as you do. Thanks again.
When I was a child, I was taught the the way to cure warts was to cut a potato in half, rub it on the wart, and then bury the potato in a secret place. This is old country folk magic, and it worked. I have never doubted the mind body connection, and I am surprised that there is any doubt about it. It is obvious.
Great Video. I became aware of Dr. Sarno about 10 years ago, and yes, it was back and knee pain. And yes, I believe I have a childhood memory buried that I can't get at. I'm not happy about the idea that there is a door going in but not going out.
Dr. Ross!!!!! YES! Over the last 6 years I'd been having lower back pain increase more and more and the last 2 years it turned into inflammation in my tail bone and SI Joints as well as lower back muscle spasms! So bad that I went to the ER twice! The first time it happened I fell face first into my bed into a plate of scrambled eggs! I left my Narc husband 3.5 months ago and the pain IS GONE!! Completely! They also did mri's and X-rays....nothing! Wow. I'm sharing this video ❤️🙏🏻 God bless you both!
Hi Tracy. In glad you are safe and sound. Im in a better place and thanks Mr Rosenberg.
All mental health providers and pain management doctors should be required to watch this video before they can practice medicine or treat patients. I've been told my pain is all in my head.
Thanks for the support.
I have been watching TH-cam videos regarding narcissism for about 4-5 months now. I’ve had so many questions answered. I am now aware that my father was a narcissist and the things he did to me made my life miserable . He is dead now and I am 57 years old. I still suffer. I would like to know if there is a reasearch program that I could participate, in hopes that my experiences weren’t in vain and could be used to gather facts perhaps to help another. I have so much of my life been soooooooo horribly traumatized by the things my father done to me as a child and how I had to live the rest of my life . I’ve still got so many questions . Perhaps if I could be part of a study regarding this issue I could myself heal and maybe provide more information so that others could b helped in stead of having to live their complete life in so much emotional pain that I have .
Bob Rotten You start by changing that name from Bob rotten to Bob the Beloved, because that’s how your real Father, Jesus Christ, feels about you!
A great book about this is "Metaphysical Anatomy, by Evette Rose", It has a guide about most every symptom, helped me a lot
Thank you
Oh my God Ross! I'm so glad that you mentioned that that someone called the cops on you somebody you cared about a lot and to hear you talking about this because this is my experience. My narcissist ex-husband and my narcissist mother use this Ploy against me as they assault me or attack me by throwing rocks at me or at my vehicle they turn around and they called the cops on me! I had never seen this kind of behavior before in people I hadn't even seen it in my mother until the two of them teamed up against me. That's when I saw a lot of her narcissistic behaviors come out. Thank you for validating my concerns about how this whole experience has been. Thank you for your work it's very much appreciated.
we also have electrical sources of energy in our body called chakras, which supply different parts of our body with energy to stay healthy. 7 of them. So when emotional energy happens it interferes with the normal energy flow & affects the body
I came to the conclusion that I will never completely heal from childhood truma. I have never had a lot of happiness in my life because of that fact. As I got older I started to see life in a different way. God blessed me with lots of good things but I still suffered extreme depression and low self esteem.I married the the wrong person because of distorted thinking. So, now I am in my 60's, divorced many years ago. I realized that you cannot change the past, if you keep dwelling on it, you will waste the years that are left in your life and ALWAYS attract the wrong kind of people. Dwelling on the positive, learning to let go of the past, has brought some happiness, opportunity and positive people around me. I think you have take all thoughts captive and reject the ones that bring you into a unhappy state of mind. Life for me, since I changed of way of thinking, has been better than any other time in my life. It may not be the answer for every one but it certainly worked for me.
I am on heavy doses of painkillers as well as benzodiazepines and am barely existing. I have severe debilitating back pain, fibromyalgia, Hypothyroid, severe anxiety, depression and CPTSD and wish I was never born because I am living in hell. I’m codependent and am the nicest person I know and have been treated like shit by everyone throughout my entire life. It’s been one traumatic experience after another and I’ve basically shut down. And it all started in childhood with my alcoholic dad and my neurotic mom because of their own traumatic childhoods. None of the therapists GET IT. I had one tell me to stop thinking about the past. Are you fucking joking? That was the ultimate display of ignorance and stupidity! So where do I find help?
I think you have to find the strength in you to forgive your parents, bcs. in the final analysis that was all they knew,which was sadly not much specially for you,
It can be hard, but once you get to that point you are doing the act for yourself, and healing starts immediately, if you look at the family tree,you will find that your own parents probably never had a good upbringing, but in order to forgive you have to be genuine, it has to come from the heart, and use the compationate tone of voice,that you did this to me and it has hurt me,and that you want to get passed it,
What it really boils down to is the "resentment "factor that is eating you alive,
really meditation can be very beneficial, again you have to be ready for it. REMEMBER
THEY (your parents )DID NOT KNOW WHAT THEY DID. GOD BLESS YOU.
Yeah some therapists really shouldn't be working in their field. I once had a therapist laugh at me when I confided in her that my father had given me literal garbage for Christmas when I was a child. So instead of doing therapy, I write music and journal
i got chills when he first mentioned dr. sarno. two years ago, when i was dealing with a tremendous amount of debilitating back pain & was told i have osteoarthritis, i was absolutely miserable, breaking down frequently & fretting about my future. i then stumbled upon dr. sarno & thanks to his discoveries (along with the curable app), i haven’t been in that kind of misery since. i have slight spasms on the rare ocassion, but because i no longer catastrophize them, i don’t suffer! i acknowledge them to the point of shrugging them off & simply go on about my day. ✨
Thanks for sharing Candi.
ty my ex had the worst time getting off meds due to his ex.(Back and old injuries) childhoood trauma is the worst and he always made light of it. Oh how we love the ones who hurt us the most.
OH MY GOD! I haven't had back surgery, but I have had pretty severe pain for a long time and have gone through many different treatments. I recently went no contact with my family. Both parents are covert narcissists. This information you have shared I am sure will change my life.
Your story Ross of back pain and trauma being linked is magical,I raced motox and road racing on motorcycles for 15 years and have 40 fractures of proof lol this information is priceless that you offer us. Thankyou yet again. Ps have a wonderful day👋🇬🇧🙏
Thanks Steven!
The feeling of abandonment with fear and emptiness was so paralyzing I would lay in bed and sweat and breathe hard just completely consumed with fear. I'm not sure I've ever felt truly safe mentally and emotionally in my lifetime.
ROSS.....I Would like to add that narcissism comes from the same route as co dependancy...... as i myself have had the honor in my life of plsying biyh rolls..... therapist unfortunately dont have the skills or knowledge about the route cause....... and i see unless u have had the same experiance u wont be able to see it....
In the book, "The Body Keeps the Score" by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk talls about this concept and the author did research on this as well. It's very interesting.
Where can I see those 4 hours video seminars please??
Ross, For the first time that little girl had a voice yesterday. She is 2 yrs old. I tried to talk to my mother about it, and all she does us tell me to shut up. She doesnt want to hear anything about it. It hurts me so much to have her locked up inside. Like she doesnt count or matter. I have lived with this. I am 53 yrs old. I want to be whole and happy. I have never married and no children. I have denied myself so much. Can I work with you on this?
My npd mom was molested by her uncle at 5, abused by her asd Dad and had an enabling enmeshing Mom. She has had backpain her entire life, had spinal fusion surgery many years ago. Didn't help. Was diagnosed with fibro. Refused therapy....sad. I have forgiven her and will never abandon her despite how difficult she can be. My Dad was an sld enabler and after he died my family turned to crap!!! My brothers are both narcs and are in total denial. I pray for them but have almost no contact. I have had major health issues due to childhood and adult trauma and am working hard, long and smart and desparately trying to move from surviving to thriving. It's a process! I took myself to my first therapist at 12 with my babysitting money after my failed running away attempt. I've done almost every therapuetic modality that exists and they have kept me alive and helped me to heal ftom numerous so-called incurable autoimmune illnesses and debilitating and painful syndromes. The suffering is incomprehensible and I have not really come out publicly to speak about it but I am planning to because I believe it will help others.
I have fibro and i have had a whole life full of trama and a childhood that nightmares are made of
Me too. Our lives have been almost the same!
Wao this is so true coz av realised am a codependency married to a narcissist after coming to understand this reality. As Ross has said when I got married and was in honey moon I developed an excruciating pain in my thigh and it kept moving up and down I couldnt walk. We sought medical help and they couldnt realy find the cause of the pain. I took pain killers and it wouldnt go but after one day it subsided. Since I dint know yet about codependency or narcissism I had no idea what was happenning to me. Let me go back abit, there was a time when I was young those formative years I remember I developed a stomach problem and could get excruciating pain and they could last for two days and nights. My mom sort for medical help but seemed to get no solution. Them days painkillers in the 70s here in my country Kenya in Africa pain killers werent that effective. But one day we visited a simple medical officer in my village got an injection and that problem went away. The moving pain after getting married kept on periodicaly, I would experience them and a certain pain killet would help. It went on still one time it was so overwhelming it almost took me out but being a believer I arose in my spirit and resisted this thing, called my pastor who prayed told my narcissistic husband to pray for me too using the authority of eldership given to him by laying on of hands and I believed to be well and I got well. That thing went away but 21 yrs down the line is when am undetstanding this trauma attraction and due to the rolletcoster of dealing with my spouse led me to developing a worse condition known as polymiosites, inflamation of many muscles that has partialy disabled me and left me totaly depending on him evrn more. This has realy frustrated me and now with knowledge of severe trauma and its effects am kinf of trapped. Now I understand all the pains av experienced are related to trauma abandonement. I was sexual molested by an older boy who was supposed to look after us around 3/4 yrs thereafter taken to boarding school at six yrs. I was removed at age 10 and my mum haf developed a mental condition that again so as left alone now and then when het condition would become worse. My dad worked away, was an addict of alcohol and likely a narcissist and was very absent and dint connect with him.. He was quite hostile and their relationship had become strained and my mums expectations were shattered, that could have led to her losing control. I would like to see a pscotherapist who would help real heal my self love deficit coz there are children involved who suffer rejection coz he dint want them in the first place but insisted on having them not knowing my hubbys childhood background. Any advise on this side of our world would be helpful, any recommendations whatsoever is welcome.
❤Thank you. I really needed this insight. I will look for this book too.
Absolute truth, I have constant challenges with this. I left my ex husband and a huge case of ulcerative colitis all but disappeared. I have been diagnosed with myofacia pain and it comes and goes.
April Caricchio - I too was sick when I was married. Mystery things that no one could explain. All gone....
just have to tell you I'm so happy I found your channel because what you are discussing applies pretty much 100% to me. I found out about the psyche-soma connection causing countless problems to me myself. however I couldnt really progress bejond that point myself (in connection with psychotherapy that is). now with your channel it seems I found a new door to be opened.
Thank you!
I was on ulcer meds at 16 with my perpetually screaming mother, psycho, narc, hot and cold, sweet mean syndrome and a real trip. when I left at 17 the next day I was ok and never needed meds again.
my husband I had itchy break out on my hands for years, when I left it went away , one day I was speaking with him on the phone, and I looked down at my hand and it was rashing out again and itching, just from the conversation
So yes, the body manifests physical symptoms , and sometimes cancer even.
Oh yes those narcs have malignant personalities they fire up your adrenals crazy inflammation the root of all disease
I have alopecia from trauma. Narcissistic mother wounds. And sciatica nerve pain. That reduced when I left my narcissistic partner and again my mother. True what you are saying about.
I know my pain was from trauma. Now I am doing the work and all my aches and pain is gone.
Keep up the good work Lisa!
Thank you for sharing..this helped me. :)
Do you know a psycho therapist in Los Angeles who are trauma specialist? Thank you and what a great video.
Ross! I’m recovering from both a narcissistic relationship, and spinal fusion. I moved back home. My pain was so intense when I broke no contact. It’s incredible to hear you talk about this. My pt has said exactly what you explained.
My pain goes away when I am far from him.
I am a codependent. I am 7 weeks post op. I felt mistreated-gaslighting, emotionally held hostage, love bombing, physical and psychological abuse and trauma.
I really want to write about the correlation to help others.
Why is it the back??? Is it relationship issues? Does it have anything to do with chakra placement?
Hey Erin! I hope you are beginning to feel better. You left a few questions at the end of your reply, and while your comment was several months ago, I thought I would leave a few resources for you to search when you have the time, if you are still in pain and/or are seeking further clarity. All of these people have healed themselves or others of back issues using exclusively mind-body therapy such as "journal-speak", emotional release or trauma resolution, and getting people through loads of repressed(or current) fear and anger. Without further ado, here are the names that come to mind: Nicole Sachs, Steve Ozanich, John Sarno. There are a few other prominent mind-body authors and practitioners, but these three have spent their lives focusing on the correlation between the back and the emotions before branching out to other conditions within the body that have the same roots, which is pretty much anywhere in the body, seeing as the nervous system connects to all parts and is signalling back and forth with the brain, much of the time that being the limbic system. Best of luck in your healing, both physical and emotional. You have a bright future ahead once you're clear of the remaining fog! All the best to you!!
In metaphysics the back is support its can be physical mental emotional financial support check out Louise Hayes
I haven't read it yet but a book called the body keeps score supposed to be really good about the Mind Body Connection
@@originalsongsbyadam2883 k
Thanx Ross for sharing and for all your work. XXX
I was diagnosed with Hashimoto hypothyroidism and lost my hair I knew it was connected to my trauma, I can't wait to finish this work because I know it will grow it has but anxiety and stress it falls again
It is true sir!
YES!
I am so sorry.
Trauma manifested in my lungs. Astma.
As adult.
But now, after 'no contact' .. I am well! 😊
Thanks for sharing!
So glad you’re using a new introductory tune
Yes!! Can't wait!! Thank you!!
I am an empath, had 2 alcoholic parents and a mentally handicapped sister who lived at home. I now have fibromyalgia and other auto immune issues and deal with narcissist abuse. Where do I find someone who does this therapy?
My mother was sick from one sickness too the other. She had a narscissist mother in a sever way. That sickness affected us, my mother's children. Talk about disfunction, so many ways, it killed my brother, it was so heartbreaking, that I had to move away, and keep my distance in order to get well, but it I ended up with graves decease, I over came it by a team of professionals to help me get there. I'm watching my son not care and is on a mission,on a drug addict mission. It's painful to watch.
Dr. Rosenberg, have you done any work around/videos regarding bulimia/binge eating disorder and its connection to trauma?
Great question!! I too would be extremely interested in hearing about a possible connection between trauma and anorexia nervosa, and bulimia.
This is amazing!! Ty Ross
All my back pain came from depression. Pain killers did not work long term but the Zoloph (Antidepressant ) sure did.
No wonder i started having back ache spasm recently. Now i know the root cause now! The trauma i had been going through with my narc husband for 36yrs n feeling unhappy n stuck in the relationship till now!
Thanks for sharing and glad this was helpful.
Very helpful
Av also just realised our first born daughter who is 22 yrs now and we still live together may have been infected by narcissim. We had a disagreement which led to our candid talking its was revealing that she may be leaning towards narcissism. She doesnt seem to care when she huryd someome and instead projects it on the other person that its their fault. She hates failing it makes her not feel in control and she says she has this need of realy being in control og the 'world' (her own words), she seem to forget when she has agreed to do something for you, forgets if shes said offensive things to you when you try to get her accountable. When arguing she has to win, she has actualy insulted me. She hates being corrected. Kindly assist on how to help her. Having acknowledged some of this things means she can be willing to get help.
His testimony just answered all of my questions! Except I’ve never been allowed to get married my abusers won’t let me! I completely understand this back pain though! I wonder if he had any breaks that didn’t heal properly too? Thank you for this!
This has been so helpful for me I'm starting to crack open
So glad this is helpful Shirley.
It makes sense. As a child i was always scared... Then i found the porno magazines of my brother... I thought this guys were hurting the women... Yet in narcissistic homes they didn t explain me anything... I always had to pretend everything was understood, so i had to shut up and continue all confused. Then my granny died when i was 8 and then i was totally insecure, as she was always so protective... Nobody ever really susplanted her... I wish she had taken me with her... My mom would leave me and my sister with nannies or alone with other adults.. One child molestor abused me since i was 3, even when my granny was alife. My sister was rebel and i don t blame her. Our big brothers were big and abusive.. But they got married... Nobody really explain this little girl why the world was so big, complicated, unsafe and aggressive... They didn t even treat me like a child... I became so tired, i always had ashma and as sophmore is when i collapsed in terms of being distant and secretive and totally exhausted. I tried to start a normal life, i was always tired. The uncertainty not of the world, but the who surrounded me at that time, now i realize didn t let me breathe... I was cured from ashtma, yet along with that i had candidiasis, not always, but i think that was too much for my litttle girl. I was always scared, secretive and insecure, probably mimiquing my covert narcissistic mom... Always feeling i needed to hide for them all these secrets, as my mom had a political carreer... I simply wanted to run away and start from zero... To my surprise, my husband was also a borderline or something, yet even my first boyfriend locked me in our first apartment, because i hanged out with friends the night before... I never really knew why people would become so aggressive and disrespectful around me, from jealous women out of nowhere, blaming me from things i didn t do, to cold, robotic boyfriends... Living in countries where they don t want me, and not even noticing the difference... Thanks for this video... It helped me to cry and say some truth about why i have been so tired... The people, friends and boyfriends i was dating and meeting, had the same patterns from these people from the past... I finally realize it... Thank you...