Paul, I worked many years in the Casinos in Las Vegas. There are many Filipinas that work there also. The young Filipinas get alot of attention(married or not) from the guys that work there and the male clientele(married or not). The cute, petite, sweet, mocha skin, long black hair filipina is hard to beat. Seen many guys regret bringing their Filipinas over and "lifting them up".
Why not lift them up? Treat the beauties like they want to. Many men just don’t put the effort in to keep the relationship going strong. The expect the traditional wife to play mommy to him and not let her be just a human being.
I brought my Filipina wife over here about 12 years ago. She was awesome UNTIL.... things got tough and there was work to be done. Then she turned into a lazy brat who would literally quit on me and make me pick up the slack. I never imagined her being so lazy and entitled coming from such an environment like the Philippines. We're divorced now. I'm actually going back soon and am going to do it all over again. What can I say, being alone is no way to live.
I dated a Chinese woman here in the USA when I was 61 and she was 36. She was constantly looking at other possibilities....even though she was extremely jealous. Seems to be a big trait with Asian women. My advice would be to find a good women there....annnnd stay there!!!
From my experience, a Chinese woman is MUCH more likely to act like that. Filipino culture is pretty grounded with heavy Catholic influence. Much more Western aligned values than the Chinese.
@@Lawrencerice I'm litterally having a sorta semi-cute Chinese woman that is married to a Chinese husband here in America, constantly telling me how handsome i am..they have 2 small kids, She's constantly saying I'm such a handsome man.. But i know what she's doing though, her poor Chinese husband is clueless about who is wife really is now that she's in America 🇺🇸 and around all these American men..
@@RONALD...... I can easily believe that. I've dated Chinese women in both the US and Asia. I've seen how fast their pretty little eyes can turn into dollar signs...
I certainly would not bring a young girl home. My buddy now 77 married a pinay she is now 65. They met in vancouver bc in a lineup. He asked her for coffee. She is a nurse. Working in canada she sends money home still. She has land in pagadian on Mindanao and her helped her build a house ( her sister lives in it. This is his third marriage and he is the happiest he has ever been.
32 years with my filipina, 21 year age gap. my opinion it is all about charactor, respect, morals, etc. I never had a doubt with my wife. She is a non drinker, smoker, and does not care to boast of what we have. I still mentor her about dis, dat, doze, etc. This, that and those. I would not change anything, she has been right beside me with all the work we have done to our homes. Learned to drive, worked 10 years for social security, now does all the money stuff. Does not want to return to P.I., both happy here. Just my take, everyone is different.
Back in 1971 I married a 19 year old Filipina when I was in my mid 20s after living with her in the Philippines for about a year. I took her back to live in Texas and all was fine for 5 years and she became Americanized. She was quite the looker and was always being hit on and one day I came home from work and she and all her clothes were gone. She had found what she thought was an upgrade over me so I moved on with a broken heart but time heals. Heard years later that she moved from man to man every few years but lost track of her 20 years ago now. It was quite an adventure as is all of life.
Happy for you that you moved on, and happier that children were not involved. Two of my nephews got Philippino women. And they very quickly got pregnant and of course marriage Followed. We later found out that getting pregnant is what they called "shotgun marriage. One left and the other is still trying to get as much money from the other because he is a businessman. Funny his dad owns the business so she is just waiting for him to die.
The moral of the story is you can take a person point of thee we it environment for a better life and that is all they want regardless of the promise to love you. I see the difference in attitude of Philippinas here in Sydney compared to the ones who are poor in their own country. They change with the new environment. Moral of the story is if you want a loving wife, don’t move her to another country
100% agree with you. I married a Filipino made three trips over there before bring her back to the US. She is 36 years younger than me. We're doing great it's been 6 years here in the US best decision I ever made what's going to the Philippines and meeting this young lady from the province.
Hi Paul and Mae! Me and my husbands been happily married for 16 yrs. And we have 2 beautiful boys. Our age gap is 19 years. We are here in Florida but I am from Ginatilan Cebu. For me the most important thing is understanding and respect each other.
My wife could have traded up on me early on but she didn't. She got a job right away and made more money than me the first couple of years here in California. We’re a team. Twenty years married in August.
One empirical regularity across many societies is “hypergamy” - the tendency for women to marry up - with respect to social status, education, income, and other characteristics associated with economic well-being.
They may marry up, but that doesn't mean they can't get side action from someone who excites them who's dirt poor or treats them badly or just want multiple sex partners.
i married a Filipina 13+ years ago and we are still together in the USA however i dont recommend bringing them home with you. you should stay there with them. it kinda keeps the lid on their attitude if they've got other Filipina around chasing their man.
Not everyone can stay in Philippines year after year. Bedside many hot young alpha travellers are plentyful in Philippines too. They will be the biggest threats to old guys.
Big age gap is not the trouble, it’s the young gal, bar type gal, high body count gal, a gal that like expensive things. A mature Filipino, will not jump ship ever!
I think this video is 100% spot on!!! Admired your honesty when you said it was man's fault for picking woman with low morals. Of course his are likely the same. I agree about tats. I think tats are a cry of "Look at me". Is sad to me to see Filipina with tats on their beautiful skin. Hey my son is covered with them. Each one broke my heart when he got them. But I love him. Hate the tats. Bet you get some wild responses from this! lol
I have been following you since Covaid. I am a black American adopted by Filipinos. I have been going back and forth to the Philippines since 1983. I love your reasoning because it’s right on point Uncle! Following you and Every Man has a Story has been very interesting to watch play out. Mabuhay Uncle 🤙🏽
A relationship can last " till death do us part" if both love, respect and care for each other. Fear of God plays a role too thinking that a lake of fire waits. Just make each day a special day . . .hugs and little surprises helps.
Baby Mae is true and loyal to the core (and you, of course, know this.) You are not “ugly.’ You are a very distinguished gentleman. That said, I often wonder why you don’t have your teeth whitened since we have to look at them every video😂. Thank you for the continued great content.
Paul & Mae have what seems to be a strong connection, so their situation could be different. However, there is a reason on average the age gap b/t married men & women is around 3 yrs. It’s just natural for people around the same age to be both physically and mentally attracted to each other. I have no doubt some men bring their significantly younger Filipina wives to the USA and do fine. But I believe they are outliers…..in other words, not the norm. I think most Filipinas once exposed to the USA culture will gradually (time-frame will vary) drift toward men around their own age. It’s nature.
Paul, in my job I visit many couples in their homes here in the USA. The white man with a younger Filipina is pretty consistent. They met and married and she takes care of him as she would have in the Philippines. The other consistent trait is the Filipina guards the family funds and negotiates hard
And you ignore the bias. People are generally cautious about bringing their Filipina to America. The ones that do have weighed their considerations and believed they have a trustworthy wife and have gotten to known them long enough to decide taking them to America. The ones who exhibited red flags already are left in the Philippines. The ones you see are trusted completely, and yet they have still "better dealed" their partner.
Does not matter if they are a filipina or eskimo or western girl. If the love and respect is real it will last as long as that love and respect stays strong. Ethnicity and age will play no roll in the relationship if you both truly love each other and treat each other with respect. Gotta get to know her family too. That will tell you a lot.
My American friend went back home with the wife and son. She did not want to go pack to Philippines. She got a car and was independent. He is upset because he wants to go back as they have a home there.
Great video. The common themes I have seen are the men are arrogant, closed minded, don’t listen, self centered and impulsive. Every guy like this has had a crash and burn. Thank you Paul
I agree with your friend; marrying a woman with a child (Daughter, in my case), just makes for twice the Love! ❤️ You’ve met my Wife, when we were there in February. She’s a good, God-fearing, caring, Loving lady! I’m very blessed to be her Husband, and fortunately, she has no desire to go to the States to live. She’s been there, and would rather stay. After 90 days there, and now back in the States for my liquidation, I can’t wait to get back! 🇺🇸✈️🇵🇭🌴❤️
I want people to find their way and ultimately CHOOSE to stay or not. If there's a better deal out there, then go for it. Recognize the neighbors grass may not turn out to be as green as it seemed, and, that choices have consequences. That's part of life's lessons.
Paul - I've been following you since around 2015. This was you best video ever. I died 4 times by the time I was 6 and that was Fathers message. Love All!
Great video. I agree with most everything you said. I do have some experience. I took two Filipinas back to the US and knew hundreds. I know that every situation is different people are different. There is a saying amongst Americans married to Filipinas. "If you take your Filipina to America she becomes an American. I am back here because I love the Philippines. I have promised myself that I will never get married again, but I said that after the first divorce. This time I have had a girlfriend for two years now and I am pretty sure that there's no marriage in sight.
Not the minute they get there Paul. They gotta stick it out a few years until they get their GREEN CARD! (i.e. Permanant Resident Card) If there's a good age gap and/or if she's a "looker" theres a high chance her dumping us. I've brought two different Asian girls to USA on a legal K-1 visa and both left me a few years later, (At different times of course.) once getting a green card. Both were "Nine's" with substantial age gaps on me. But Hey! It was sooo fun while it lasted!
Hmmm, I am positive I left a comment here but cannot find it; something saying without a doubt in my mind Baby Mae will not leave you or trade you up. Baby Mae is a person who is happy and she has a moral compass🤩🤩🤩
Good video, as always. When I met my now wife, that was n 1990. Before internet and smart phones. But here we are, 34 years later, still strong. So go for it, if your heart tells you to. ❤️
Well said and right on the money! This is exactly what I’ve seen from the state side. Fortunately in the group my wife and I frequent the number of Pinas we have seen jump to a younger man has been pretty low but it does happen.
Good overview of relationship life lessons; dos and don’ts; how to minimize the pitfalls and find the best in you and for you. Old man wisdom that this old single man appreciates as I plan to move there (63). If we listen and keep our heads hopefully find the same success. Thanks John
In those 24 years that I have been mingling with the Filipino Community of Antwerp, I have only seen two couples where the Filipina "better dealed" her husband. The first one had a very good husband; a nice guy who made lots of money and spoiled her rotten. But they had a 30 year age gap and he was reaching 80. I don't know their private life. Maybe he had banana problems, but she left him for a younger and richer German guy, who travels all around the world with her and buys her everything her heart desires. If her husband treated her like a princess, she was now a queen and loved to show off her wealth to the other Filipinas who looked up to her. The second one I cannot blame. Her husband was a heavy drinker who spent his salary in the bar, while she had to work to put food on the table. She rightfully found herself a better deal. But these are the only two Filipinas I know who actually left their husbands. In all the other broken relationships I have known (including my own) it was the husband who kicked out his wife, in most cases because of adultory. In conclusion, I think that most of the Filipinas who come to Belgium will not "better deal" their husband. They will stay with him for sake of convenience but many of them have boyfriends on the side. Now I believe this can also happen when you live together in the Philippines, but I think the occurrence rate is much lower.
I've heard a lot of married ones with Belgians in your city are having fun with Filipino Sea men arriving or passing by your city! So, I suppose in most cases their husband's might believe they went out to do the shopping!!
Excellent video Paul . I am always curious about this very subject matter as I myself am currently in a four year LDR. We have only met three times over the course of those four years but each time was about a month and we speak to each other virtually every day. I feel that I truly know this woman, however like you said, and like I tell my kids, you don’t truly know someone until you live with them for at least a year or so. I am 65 and she is 45 so there is no immaturity issue. She was an OFW as a manager in a retail store for almost 17 years in the UAE which is a very modernized country with a lot of western conveniences and wealthy men. She was engaged for almost 10 years to a Middle Eastern man who is a wealthy anesthesiologist. Because of her job she had to relocate to Abu Dhabi, and they were separated by distance for about 10 years. The entire time she was faithful to him, even though she was urged by friends to meet other wealthy men. He basically strung her along for those 10 years eventually proposing to her, but in my opinion I think only to keep her in his harem . Anyway, she discovered he was cheating on her with another Filipina while she was working in Abu Dhabi and he was living in Dubai. She broke off the engagement and a few months later we met online and have been together ever since. we are currently processing our K-1 visa and expect her to be in America sometime this June .She has no children and does not come from a large extended family. By all accounts, I feel that she is truly devoted to me and I to her. We have had many discussions about this very subject, especially from the power position aspect. Being a beautiful Filipina woman and 20 years younger than myself I realize she will be in the Power position here in America but I cannot tell you how much I truly trust this woman as I feel that we have both done a lot of soul-searching with one another. I certainly don’t expect perfection in a relationship, but I will do my best to make it so,and I believe she will as well. Like you said Paul time will tell and you sir have set the bar and I just hope to measure up, so wish me luck.
At 45, she is dead meat in the Phillies but she may still get a lot of attention here in the US, especially if she is fit and her skin is in good shape. Be careful buddy. You heard her side of the story, did you hear the other side?
@@oscieestanislao5840 She is very Catholic, very mature and centered. She is very much aware that I will not support her 2 sisters and her mother all who are living separately unless it is a dire emergency. She has absolutely no problem signing a prenuptial agreement and she wants to earn her own money to help pay the bills and buy her own stuff like makeup. I cover all of the major expenses. She doesn’t need to have kids or luxury items. We will travel , take classes together, dine out occasionally and go for walks but mostly just relax at home. She enjoys gardening , listening to music, singing and I enjoy pickle ball and softball. We have deep mutual respect and love for each other.
Years ago I used to follow Dr Laura Schlesinger.who wrote books with Advice on relationships, moral and ethical issues, was a counselor, political commentator, talk radio host, columnist, author. She used to say when you meet another human being you have to see them in every season at least twice. That means before you commit know them and have a close relationship with them for 2 years. Now did I ever do that? Heck no! 😅 But it was still wise advice. Paul your recommendations reminded me of what she used to advise.
I miss that lady. I listen to her a lot as I traveled in my car. She had a lot of good advice, but I imagine today. Oh gosh, she’d be in trouble constantly with the way the US has gone. They’d toss her off the radio waves.
Hi Paul, Thanks for another great rule of thumb type video! I am paying attention. 1) My Fiancé is meets the first two requirements. As far as the 3rd requirement is concerned, We have lived together for a total of 2 months, so far. During the 2 monthes, we have endured a few difficulties together like getting lost, running out of money, dealing with town gossip, and suffering illness. So, we are about 33% thru your 3rd requirement of living together for 6 months. I think I have a keeper. But, only time will tell now for sure… Happy Easter to you and Baby Mae!
We attend a Catholic Church in the US where there are several FilAm couples. Older men bringing their younger wife to the US. In most cases, the younger Filipinas leave their husbands soon after receiving the green card. Those who get married to older Filipinas (45+) have a better success rate. If the Filipina is under 35 and her husband is 50+, the odds are against the husband.
Hey Paul, great upload as usual. Your on point. I'm 56 my Filipina wife is 45, I married her in Iloilo and brought her here to New Jersey. It's been 8 years, so far so good. I think I got lucky! Lol. However, if I had to do it over, I'd have left her back in Iloilo. Life in the states will change your Filipina 100%. The question is to what extent? In our case, thankfully, my wife is still very much Filipina but she has changed a bit. The good news is, we're a few years away from both moving to the Philippines to retire. So hopefully whatever Americanization that's occurred will be reversed. Lol You're correct, the age and where you meet your Filipina has a lot to do with it. But I'd caution the guys to think twice before bringing your Filipina to the US. Just my advice. Just my two cents. 👋
Sometimes the truth hurts. Sometimes the truth doesn’t line up with your hopes, and dreams. But when a guy who has 7 years on locale gives you some free advice, you best hang on to every word of it. Thanks Paul.
No way I'm bringing one to America, I live in Ca, the hedonistic lifestyle here is cancer to any relationship, no matter how grounded or old or young the girl is. And lets face facts. Our dollar goes further there, I just need to settle were it's not so hot. Haven't found a suitable place yet. Key factors decent medical within a couple of hours drive, reliable pharmacies, cooler climate, markets close by. Some of these are big asks, the more I learn the better off I think I'll be just getting a maid to help out. No full time GF. LOL
My Filipina and I have been together for 8 years and been married for 4 years. She is here in the USA with me. I do not worry about it. I think their up bringing have a lot to do with it
Why the hell, at retirement age, should I... 1) get married 2) cohabitate 3) impregnate 4) raise some other fool's kids 5) tie myself down inconveniently 6) throw away all the peace, quite, rest, adventure and fun.. that I had been working my whole life for 7) make myself more valuable dead than alive 8) support an entire clan of strangers that weren't there for me when my a$$ was in pain working with ailments all those years 9) give into a self defeating trend of stu_pid decision making 10) make myself more miserable with drama 11) leave one stressful life for another 12) put myself at a disadvantage 13) subject myself to people's bullsh$t 14) do anything other than enjoying my life in my retirement? WHY??? To each it's own! ✌️
There is no guarantee in life between any couple no matter where they live or what country you both are from.if there is no love or trust or fidelity between the two of you, it is bound to fail. Married for 20 years, now single for 24 years,I will never marry again! I got off that roller coaster, thank God! Good luck to you.
Good example of reality and wise words of wisdom. Thanks Paul, we all need a reality check sometimes. Love may be blind, but lust is just plain stupid. Lol.
91K subscribers! Dang you’ll definitely hit 100K soon. Congrats!!! Been a subscriber since your first video. One thing you should mention about TH-cam is the glitch in their system. For some reason, TH-cam is unsubscribing your subscribers, believe it or not. Not sure if you knew this or not. Subscribers should check the icon (to make sure) before watching the next video.
Thing is living in the USA with my Filipina is much better than living as an expat in the Philippines. You get the best of both worlds. My wife didn't leave me. The divorce rate in the US is about 50% so it is not like marriages with American partners is a sure thing. If your spouse is from Kansas City or Manila if they are going to leave you they are going to leave you.
Happen all the time, saw this when I was in the navy. Once they hit san Diego. Moving on really qu ick . Some took as much $$$ than back in the Philippines 😮
3 good points about a relationship between age gap couples. The one thing that I would modify is time. I don’t think living with someone for one year is long enough. Got to be at least two or more. Some things you might miss the first year but by living together for 2+ years you’ll see her true colors and make a more sound decision about continuing or not. Just my opinion.
You hit the bail on the head paul all down to the character of couple we have good saying in emerald isle smallbit of breeding is worth 2 tonne of feeding you have chosen wisely go with excitement if u choose she will be there for you i reckon😢😢
Yes I worked for years to get a former wife to my country and I was better dealt within 8 weeks. She was Colombian What you say makes total sense. Thanks for sharing Paul.
Hi Paul! I stumbled on your channel, and you have some wonderful videos. I especially enjoyed this one as I have a Filipina wife, and we live in the USA. Never seen anyone address this specific topic before, but doubt anyone will ever make a more wisdom filled one than you did right here. There’s at least $10k worth of solid counseling right here for free, and I don’t think that’s an exaggeration. Yes, it’s condensed down, but it’s all true and worth SERIOUS ATTENTION to anyone getting married period, regardless of where they’re from or who they’re marrying. It boggles my mind some of the nasty comments people make, and how much utter ignorance there is too. One would think from some that marrying a good ol’ girl from the USA is a sweet, sure deal, while marrying a Filipina is like marrying a bomb or something. And it just ain’t so. Not if they followed your wise counsel especially, and also simply looked for “red flags” (which all men choose to ignore at some time, but it’s typically really unwise to do so.) So thank you for your time and effort! Bruce in the Lone Star State
Hey Paul, Great video, many words of wisdom you have spoke, Totally Agree, also agree on the More More More, I would Not bring her over ‘here’ for the simple truth you spoke. Stay safe my friend.
"Will she put up with my crud?" should be a huge eye opener for any guy. Yea, we are who we are, but many times we do not realize it. Am I the best there is? absolutely! But that might not be reality. Maybe we need to know who we are before we jump into something like this.
27 year age gap here. We talked on-line for 6 months and I visited 3 times. The 3rd trip she and her 4 year old son came home with me to California. He graduated from university this year with a degree in chemical engineering. My wife, you ask, how did that work out? She is my best friend of my lifetime and I am hers. It was a rough start and I didn't have the luxury to stay with her there for a year. I had a business here to run. Looking back, and listening to your video, I also would also recommend staying there for a year first. If you can't do that spend as much time as you can talking and getting to know each other and always watching for the red flags. Too many red flags or any serious ones means that you probably need to pass. My wife was 30 when she arrived here and was going on 45. She was looking for a home, a family and a future. The most difficult part for us was "home sickness". She was here for 5 years before we could send her and our son home. Now she is lucky enough to have a close cousin 30 miles away, a niece 70 miles and a sister 250 miles away. She has gone home 4 times for visits and I went the last time after I retired. But yeah, home sickness is a real thing. Thankfully now with technology and free Messenger calls, new arrivals can stay in touch so much easier. I never had any fear, she would leave, ZERO ! I always considered myself a good catch. My advice is make a good choice by being intellectually honest, treat her special because she is and make sure that you like yourself and everything should be fine.
I married my wife in the Philippines. Never occurred to me to not start the paperwork/process to get her over here to Canada. She is maximizing her potential, working her way up to management in her workplace and building up her eventual Canadian pension. It’s all a part of the idea of making sure she’s better off having met me. Never crossed my mind to not get her over here to experience this side of the world. All that said, we only have a 14year age-gap, and we’re a pretty good match. In the 6 years she has been here we’ve basically shrank down any economic imbalance between us in terms of income. She doesn’t need to ask ‘permission’ for anything. I’m fine with that, it was my actual goal. I like having a partner, not an ‘underling’🤷🏻♂️ Good Video, sir.
Paul, your wisdom and your maturity is next level. Thank you being so genuine and you come across just that in TH-cam. I will take your advise when it comes to women😀
Great topic Paul. But if your wife goes to USA you’ll lose her to a young rich athletic guy. You and I at our age look like raisins. Nature takes over especially if she feels/experiences a BIG lover if you know what I mean. My advice keep her home count your blessings ENJOY LIFE WITH HER.
Agreed. I think another thing that can lead to an end in the relationship is when the man is unwilling to support the girls parents. Right or wrong, it is expected.
I’ve witnessed your story on 3 occasions here in the US, two was a large age gap problem and one went for more money. All the men were previously married and their wives were first time marriages.
Sounds like a cultural invariant: I knew a guy in college whose quasi-girlfriend left him for a dentist and later I had a coworker who related he had had a steady girlfriend left him for a dentist. Yeah, the ages were close and all were Americans, but the dentists to whom the young women jumped could all provide better $$$...
Definitely not meaning to be unkind, but I saw so many old Western guys with over 35 year old Filipina who were facially a 4 or 5 but body was trim and slim. They viewed the female as a "10" but they are less likely to be viewed as a "10" by most young Western guys. So they are unlikely to get tons of offers. I know two women like that who married very much older Western guys . .... Going out socially, they admitted that there was so much competition in the Philippines that they grabbed what they could get ..... And importantly, they would stay with their kind and generous husbands. BUT ..... If an old guy has landed a real 8/9/10 then stay in the Philippines!
This is also true but the dating market in the US is mixed. A Newport Beach. Ca or a Miami 6 would be a Little Rock Arkansas 10. Southern California has millions of people and thousands of gorgeous women of all races so a beautiful filipina (even a beautiful 20 something Filipina) wouldn’t necessarily stand out in LA. A cute filipina with an average body over the age of 35 would probably not be getting as many head turns.
Good piece and so obvious. Sadly, some guys can only think with what's in their trousers. Those with a little intelligence work out pretty damn quick that it's about values. Materialism is low value, caring about a person is high value...love the highest. Finding the higher value takes time. Sadly too many people don't have the time or social awareness to find it.
even with all the precautions, vetting, background checks, family interviews etc, she has one mood swing and you're ground meat being processes through the divorce/custody industry.
Bless you Paul, your's is the voice of calm reason & truth. You're a wise man! I can tell you for certain, sometimes a woman will leave her similarly aged husband (who isn't very financial), for a much, much older man with several properties & lot more money. Que Sera Sera... 🎭
I am very critical and of these old men in the Philippines making these videos. But I gotta give Paull credit, he is down to Earth and realistic. Many of these similar bloggers let their false sense of power in the Philippines go to their head. But Paul seems to keep his feet on the ground.
Reverse the roles and the countries, and you have exact same scenario, from the different perspective. Granted, it isn't the same, usually due to the financial perspective. But, remember, on a return to the west, any financial 'advantage' is probably gone. The reverse scenario gives you a sense for the new options she would have. I.e. just picture moving to the Philippines with a filipina you met in the west. Now you are faced with endless, young, filipinas interested in you. Do you stay faithful to your filipina? I imagine that is similar to what a young, beautiful filipina would encounter on a move to the west. Frankly, I'd never return to the west in the first place! But, if you do, you need to make sure that your relationship is solid, if you want it to work.
Currently live on Oahu and have for almost three decades. We have a huge population from the Philippines and many old guys with young wives. I've noticed the trend in thses women being honest and such when they arrive, but very often end up cheating and/ or bailing once they get their green card or buying into modern American "values". I really believe it's a symptom of how tremendously skewed the USA has become. They become westernized and unbearable, just like most American women, despite being wonderful upon arrival. I knew one girl who was devoted to her older husband at the start, but spent too much time around Americanized filipinas. She ended up being a pretty loose woman on the side (even hinting at wanting to fool with me, despite knowing my wife) and her husband never saw past her lovey dovey front. He ended up retiring and figured it out pretty quick and shipped her back home after invoking the prenup, but was never the same and has remained single since. It's crazy how common it is here and how fast they change. If I were a guy with a feminine and wholesome foreign wife (of any age or nationality), I'd never bring them to America. It's almost a disservice to the woman, because so many think Americans are righteous and forward thinking and want to emulate us. It's almost laughable how screwed up we are, these days.
Suggestion: switch to an easy chair, in a corner, with side table, with flowers and back lighting...maybe a small painting when you are handing out advice like this.
Paul I think if you have a good woman and she truly loves you and she believes in her marriage then I think she would stay with her husband and it also depends to that the husband treats her good and loves her to and makes her feel she is the most special thing in the world then I think you are safe in your relationship plus don't put them in a situation for the woman to be encouraged by someone else to cheat being going to work as u stay home or going out with friends by herself to a bar or something like that because then you are just asking for trouble
Yeah… but what happens when the old fart wants to leave? The Filipina makes it very difficult. Hey. You can have the train wreck young stud. Take her. Judas Priest.
I have witnessed a lot of relationships with Filipino women. In my observation over 20 years it’s been 80% success at least on the 10 or 15 couples I have known. These were all Air Force friends.
Two things you missed, that's in addition to the three you listed... 1) If you take her back to the US, and she has other female Filipino friends group where they gossip, chatter, and create envy or jealousy. Just like American women, sometimes they want to just take someone down who's doing better than themselves... so they poison the relationship by setting things up, or planting seeds of doubt. Second, if they become more educated (such as attend college or get a college degree), they get more exposed Western feminism, meet other men within their same age group, or get a well paying job that they are no longer financially bound to the guy. Seen this first hand from people who I know. Best to just stay outside of the US, and they'll have a much better life.
But many have friends and family back home to see often. Avoiding the US because you're afraid of younger guys stealing them shows insecurity more on you. Nothing wrong western women. It's no different in China, Singapore, South Korea, Japan, etc. Find someone your age and problem solved
@@youngandfree93 It's not insecurity, but rather wisdom. If someone was able to get a girl 30 years younger than them in the US, don't you think they would've done that already? And yes, there's a lot wrong with Western Women... if there wasn't, why are there so many men leaving the US to find relationships in Asia, Europe, and South America. I don't tell anyone how to live their love life, and neither should you.
@@fialee8 why do you need someone 30 years younger than you though? What in common would a baby boomer have with a Gen Z or Millennial on a romantic level. In many countries these are mostly parent and kid relations only. I say this as Millennial myself I have next to nothing in common with older folks. Both on s physical and emotional level. There are plenty emotional stable men in American who have no issue about living there. You look at the older guys coming to Asia here all bitter about back home, many have serious issues. Many of them mental sadly. If I ever brought an elder lady home as my gf my parents would freak out just like my sister with an old guy
@@youngandfree93 Just as you don't want someone to tell you who to love, you should do the same for others. If they are adults, they should do as they please regardless of age. If you don't like it, that's your problem... don't make it someone else's.
You don't know If someone is really "beautiful" until you meet them face to face. Where I'm from there are many women who can pose a beautiful picture, but as soon as they move or speak the illusion is shattered.
@@nala3038 Because he is indirectly saying out loud that he finds May unattractive. But at the same time he is happy (?) that Paul is okay with May. These two things is very rude because you dont have to insult other people's wives and definitely not out loud and second it is very weird (lacking to find the right word) to say that he is happy that Paul finds her attractive. It is typical Western directness. It is uneducated, not social and disrespectfull. I hope you understand.
Who knows what the future holds. I’m 65 now, and 22 months from retirement. Yes I’m going to roll the dice and be with a younger Filipina, but they’ll know up front that the plan is to live in the Philippines, vacation in the US…But it wouldn’t be the first time I didn’t pay attention to my own rules…
Paul, I worked many years in the Casinos in Las Vegas. There are many Filipinas that work there also. The young Filipinas get alot of attention(married or not) from the guys that work there and the male clientele(married or not). The cute, petite, sweet, mocha skin, long black hair filipina is hard to beat. Seen many guys regret bringing their Filipinas over and "lifting them up".
It's like bringing a kid to the candy store.
Why not lift them up? Treat the beauties like they want to. Many men just don’t put the effort in to keep the relationship going strong. The expect the traditional wife to play mommy to him and not let her be just a human being.
I brought my Filipina wife over here about 12 years ago. She was awesome UNTIL.... things got tough and there was work to be done. Then she turned into a lazy brat who would literally quit on me and make me pick up the slack. I never imagined her being so lazy and entitled coming from such an environment like the Philippines. We're divorced now. I'm actually going back soon and am going to do it all over again. What can I say, being alone is no way to live.
At least other 12 years more of Happiness with other Philipino girl, but stay there
Which country are you referring to?
@@gemox3225
THE PHILIPPINES..
That's why I play very poor with my lady at all times, she's has no choice but work with me or she can kick rocks,
@@gemox3225 United States
I dated a Chinese woman here in the USA when I was 61 and she was 36. She was constantly looking at other possibilities....even though she was extremely jealous. Seems to be a big trait with Asian women. My advice would be to find a good women there....annnnd stay there!!!
From my experience, a Chinese woman is MUCH more likely to act like that. Filipino culture is pretty grounded with heavy Catholic influence. Much more Western aligned values than the Chinese.
@@Lawrencerice
I'm litterally having a sorta semi-cute Chinese woman that is married to a Chinese husband here in America, constantly telling me how handsome i am..they have 2 small kids,
She's constantly saying I'm such a handsome man..
But i know what she's doing though, her poor Chinese husband is clueless about who is wife really is now that she's in America 🇺🇸 and around all these American men..
@@RONALD...... I can easily believe that. I've dated Chinese women in both the US and Asia. I've seen how fast their pretty little eyes can turn into dollar signs...
I certainly would not bring a young girl home. My buddy now 77 married a pinay she is now 65. They met in vancouver bc in a lineup. He asked her for coffee. She is a nurse. Working in canada she sends money home still. She has land in pagadian on Mindanao and her helped her build a house ( her sister lives in it. This is his third marriage and he is the happiest he has ever been.
Hi @danielhuntington2116 Thanks for sharing your experience! We've had similar encounters too, but we've found that love knows no borders.
32 years with my filipina, 21 year age gap. my opinion it is all about charactor, respect, morals, etc. I never had a doubt with my wife. She is a non drinker, smoker, and does not care to boast of what we have. I still mentor her about dis, dat, doze, etc. This, that and those. I would not change anything, she has been right beside me with all the work we have done to our homes. Learned to drive, worked 10 years for social security, now does all the money stuff. Does not want to return to P.I., both happy here. Just my take, everyone is different.
Good to know thanks.
21 yrs gap,is not much,mine is 46 yrs,
Hi @lwrgbr Character, respect, and morals are key. Glad to hear you're happy with your wife!
Back in 1971 I married a 19 year old Filipina when I was in my mid 20s after living with her in the Philippines for about a year. I took her back to live in Texas and all was fine for 5 years and she became Americanized. She was quite the looker and was always being hit on and one day I came home from work and she and all her clothes were gone. She had found what she thought was an upgrade over me so I moved on with a broken heart but time heals. Heard years later that she moved from man to man every few years but lost track of her 20 years ago now. It was quite an adventure as is all of life.
Good ridens mate.
Happy for you that you moved on, and happier that children were not involved.
Two of my nephews got Philippino women. And they very quickly got pregnant and of course marriage Followed. We later found out that getting pregnant is what they called "shotgun marriage.
One left and the other is still trying to get as much money from the other because he is a businessman.
Funny his dad owns the business so she is just waiting for him to die.
The moral of the story is you can take a person point of thee we it environment for a better life and that is all they want regardless of the promise to love you. I see the difference in attitude of Philippinas here in Sydney compared to the ones who are poor in their own country. They change with the new environment. Moral of the story is if you want a loving wife, don’t move her to another country
Hi @RodHardy Thanks for sharing your story, it's definitely been an adventurous ride!
100% agree with you. I married a Filipino made three trips over there before bring her back to the US. She is 36 years younger than me. We're doing great it's been 6 years here in the US best decision I ever made what's going to the Philippines and meeting this young lady from the province.
Hi Paul and Mae! Me and my husbands been happily married for 16 yrs. And we have 2 beautiful boys. Our age gap is 19 years. We are here in Florida but I am from Ginatilan Cebu. For me the most important thing is understanding and respect each other.
Hi @MaeLeclerc2442 Thanks for sharing your story, it's wonderful to hear about your happy marriage!
My wife could have traded up on me early on but she didn't. She got a job right away and made more money than me the first couple of years here in California. We’re a team. Twenty years married in August.
There’s nothing more that I can really add Paul to all you have said. An excellent video and a cautionary tale.
I appreciate your kind words, thank you!
One empirical regularity across many societies is “hypergamy” - the tendency for women to marry up - with respect to social status, education, income, and other characteristics associated with economic well-being.
They may marry up, but that doesn't mean they can't get side action from someone who excites them who's dirt poor or treats them badly or just want multiple sex partners.
Hypergamy is actually ALL female animals. Wild animal females practice too. For them of course not $ but strength(survival) and beauty.
Simple, don't take her to the US. Problem solved. 😊
Exactly 💯 😂
The problem is that you have to stay in the Philippines. A majority of Americans find it hard to live there for several years.
i married a Filipina 13+ years ago and we are still together in the USA however i dont recommend bringing them home with you. you should stay there with them. it kinda keeps the lid on their attitude if they've got other Filipina around chasing their man.
Not everyone can stay in Philippines year after year. Bedside many hot young alpha travellers are plentyful in Philippines too. They will be the biggest threats to old guys.
Education is a key factor in a relationship. Also she needs to be self sufficient and work hard till retirement
in my short 51 years ive learned life is all 50/50 you got a 50/50 shot sir paul
Big age gap is not the trouble, it’s the young gal, bar type gal, high body count gal, a gal that like expensive things. A mature Filipino, will not jump ship ever!
I think this video is 100% spot on!!! Admired your honesty when you said it was man's fault for picking woman with low morals. Of course his are likely the same. I agree about tats. I think tats are a cry of "Look at me". Is sad to me to see Filipina with tats on their beautiful skin. Hey my son is covered with them. Each one broke my heart when he got them. But I love him. Hate the tats. Bet you get some wild responses from this! lol
Hi @danielwarnes7231 Thanks for relating and sharing your thoughts! We appreciate honest feedback.
I have been following you since Covaid. I am a black American adopted by Filipinos. I have been going back and forth to the Philippines since 1983. I love your reasoning because it’s right on point Uncle! Following you and Every Man has a Story has been very interesting to watch play out. Mabuhay Uncle 🤙🏽
Hi @vegasdave9825 Thanks for the kind words, appreciate your support!
A relationship can last " till death do us part" if both love, respect and care for each other. Fear of God plays a role too thinking that a lake of fire waits. Just make each day a special day . . .hugs and little surprises helps.
Hi @user-mb4wi6hq8o Beautiful reminder! We couldn't agree more. Little surprises can go a long way.
Baby Mae is true and loyal to the core (and you, of course, know this.) You are not “ugly.’ You are a very distinguished gentleman. That said, I often wonder why you don’t have your teeth whitened since we have to look at them every video😂. Thank you for the continued great content.
What a western comment
Hi @JimMillsCSLC Thanks for the kind words! We'll take that under consideration.
Paul & Mae have what seems to be a strong connection, so their situation could be different. However, there is a reason on average the age gap b/t married men & women is around 3 yrs. It’s just natural for people around the same age to be both physically and mentally attracted to each other.
I have no doubt some men bring their significantly younger Filipina wives to the USA and do fine. But I believe they are outliers…..in other words, not the norm. I think most Filipinas once exposed to the USA culture will gradually (time-frame will vary) drift toward men around their own age. It’s nature.
We are 5 siblings from both Filipino parent. My Dad on his death bed said “I dont want you my children to have animosity with each othar”.
You gotta really watch out for their family.
Paul, in my job I visit many couples in their homes here in the USA. The white man with a younger Filipina is pretty consistent. They met and married and she takes care of him as she would have in the Philippines. The other consistent trait is the Filipina guards the family funds and negotiates hard
And you ignore the bias. People are generally cautious about bringing their Filipina to America. The ones that do have weighed their considerations and believed they have a trustworthy wife and have gotten to known them long enough to decide taking them to America. The ones who exhibited red flags already are left in the Philippines. The ones you see are trusted completely, and yet they have still "better dealed" their partner.
Hi @papadougpapadougsadventures Thanks for sharing your perspective! We've noticed similar dynamics in our community too.
Going on 18 years here in the U.S. Wifey is dual citizenship and we have made many return trips to the PI. I am the "better deal"!
Does not matter if they are a filipina or eskimo or western girl. If the love and respect is real it will last as long as that love and respect stays strong.
Ethnicity and age will play no roll in the relationship if you both truly love each other and treat each other with respect.
Gotta get to know her family too. That will tell you a lot.
Hi @destinationphilippineschannel Well said! Family values are important here in the Philippines.
My American friend went back home with the wife and son. She did not want to go pack to Philippines. She got a car and was independent. He is upset because he wants to go back as they have a home there.
Hi @user-et3gq8wk6d Understandable situation, hope it works out for him!
Great video. The common themes I have seen are the men are arrogant, closed minded, don’t listen, self centered and impulsive. Every guy like this has had a crash and burn. Thank you Paul
I agree! Let them trolls find out for themselves.
Hi @koufax174 Appreciate your insight! We've seen similar patterns too. Thanks for watching and sharing your thoughts!
I agree with your friend; marrying a woman with a child (Daughter, in my case), just makes for twice the Love! ❤️ You’ve met my Wife, when we were there in February. She’s a good, God-fearing, caring, Loving lady! I’m very blessed to be her Husband, and fortunately, she has no desire to go to the States to live. She’s been there, and would rather stay. After 90 days there, and now back in the States for my liquidation, I can’t wait to get back! 🇺🇸✈️🇵🇭🌴❤️
Hi @jerrymarshall2728 Thanks for sharing your experience! We're happy to hear you're blessed with a wonderful wife.
I want people to find their way and ultimately CHOOSE to stay or not.
If there's a better deal out there, then go for it.
Recognize the neighbors grass may not turn out to be as green as it seemed, and, that choices have consequences.
That's part of life's lessons.
Well stated
Hi @wuddayameen Thanks for sharing your thoughtful perspective!
Paul - I've been following you since around 2015. This was you best video ever. I died 4 times by the time I was 6 and that was Fathers message. Love All!
Hi @stevefreedom2469 Thanks for the kind words, glad to have had a positive impact on your life!
Great video. I agree with most everything you said. I do have some experience. I took two Filipinas back to the US and knew hundreds. I know that every situation is different people are different. There is a saying amongst Americans married to Filipinas. "If you take your Filipina to America she becomes an American. I am back here because I love the Philippines. I have promised myself that I will never get married again, but I said that after the first divorce. This time I have had a girlfriend for two years now and I am pretty sure that there's no marriage in sight.
Hi @lavonyoung2366 Thanks for sharing your experience! We appreciate your insight.
Not the minute they get there Paul. They gotta stick it out a few years until they get their GREEN CARD! (i.e. Permanant Resident Card) If there's a good age gap and/or if she's a "looker" theres a high chance her dumping us. I've brought two different Asian girls to USA on a legal K-1 visa and both left me a few years later, (At different times of course.) once getting a green card. Both were "Nine's" with substantial age gaps on me. But Hey! It was sooo fun while it lasted!
Do you think maybe looking into the mirror for the reason they left might help?🙃🙃🙃🙃
Hi @tomsewell2462 Fair point, thanks for sharing your experience!
@@fullonauto Who cares? Like I said, it was sooo fun for awhile. Plenty of Fish.
Hmmm, I am positive I left a comment here but cannot find it; something saying without a doubt in my mind Baby Mae will not leave you or trade you up. Baby Mae is a person who is happy and she has a moral compass🤩🤩🤩
Good video, as always. When I met my now wife, that was n 1990. Before internet and smart phones. But here we are, 34 years later, still strong. So go for it, if your heart tells you to. ❤️
Hi @andershedberg8867 Appreciate the support and congrats on 34 years of love! 😊
Very realistic & good video. It’s a gamble. Influence of fil-am woman her same age at work or in the neighborhood is usually where it starts.
Hi @JasperinthePhilippines Appreciate the support and insight! We've seen that influence firsthand, too.
Well said and right on the money! This is exactly what I’ve seen from the state side. Fortunately in the group my wife and I frequent the number of Pinas we have seen jump to a younger man has been pretty low but it does happen.
I observe the same.
Hi @chrisdunlap8322 Thanks for the support! Glad our experience resonated with you.
Good overview of relationship life lessons; dos and don’ts; how to minimize the pitfalls and find the best in you and for you. Old man wisdom that this old single man appreciates as I plan to move there (63). If we listen and keep our heads hopefully find the same success. Thanks John
Great job uncle Paulie , situational awareness and living with reality.
In those 24 years that I have been mingling with the Filipino Community of Antwerp, I have only seen two couples where the Filipina "better dealed" her husband. The first one had a very good husband; a nice guy who made lots of money and spoiled her rotten. But they had a 30 year age gap and he was reaching 80. I don't know their private life. Maybe he had banana problems, but she left him for a younger and richer German guy, who travels all around the world with her and buys her everything her heart desires. If her husband treated her like a princess, she was now a queen and loved to show off her wealth to the other Filipinas who looked up to her. The second one I cannot blame. Her husband was a heavy drinker who spent his salary in the bar, while she had to work to put food on the table. She rightfully found herself a better deal. But these are the only two Filipinas I know who actually left their husbands. In all the other broken relationships I have known (including my own) it was the husband who kicked out his wife, in most cases because of adultory. In conclusion, I think that most of the Filipinas who come to Belgium will not "better deal" their husband. They will stay with him for sake of convenience but many of them have boyfriends on the side. Now I believe this can also happen when you live together in the Philippines, but I think the occurrence rate is much lower.
I've heard a lot of married ones with Belgians in your city are having fun with Filipino Sea men arriving or passing by your city! So, I suppose in most cases their husband's might believe they went out to do the shopping!!
@@grandadan Exactly!
Hi @homebasebelgium359 Thanks for sharing your insights! We appreciate your unique perspective.
Excellent video Paul . I am always curious about this very subject matter as I myself am currently in a four year LDR. We have only met three times over the course of those four years but each time was about a month and we speak to each other virtually every day. I feel that I truly know this woman, however like you said, and like I tell my kids, you don’t truly know someone until you live with them for at least a year or so. I am 65 and she is 45 so there is no immaturity issue. She was an OFW as a manager in a retail store for almost 17 years in the UAE which is a very modernized country with a lot of western conveniences and wealthy men. She was engaged for almost 10 years to a Middle Eastern man who is a wealthy anesthesiologist. Because of her job she had to relocate to Abu Dhabi, and they were separated by distance for about 10 years. The entire time she was faithful to him, even though she was urged by friends to meet other wealthy men. He basically strung her along for those 10 years eventually proposing to her, but in my opinion I think only to keep her in his harem . Anyway, she discovered he was cheating on her with another Filipina while she was working in Abu Dhabi and he was living in Dubai. She broke off the engagement and a few months later we met online and have been together ever since. we are currently processing our K-1 visa and expect her to be in America sometime this June .She has no children and does not come from a large extended family. By all accounts, I feel that she is truly devoted to me and I to her. We have had many discussions about this very subject, especially from the power position aspect. Being a beautiful Filipina woman and 20 years younger than myself I realize she will be in the Power position here in America but I cannot tell you how much I truly trust this woman as I feel that we have both done a lot of soul-searching with one another. I certainly don’t expect perfection in a relationship, but I will do my best to make it so,and I believe she will as well. Like you said Paul time will tell and you sir have set the bar and I just hope to measure up, so wish me luck.
At 45, she is dead meat in the Phillies but she may still get a lot of attention here in the US, especially if she is fit and her skin is in good shape. Be careful buddy. You heard her side of the story, did you hear the other side?
Best wishes. I hope it works well
Thank you
I think she's mature enough that I don't think she'll look for another man assuming you'll treat her well.
@@oscieestanislao5840
She is very Catholic, very mature and centered. She is very much aware that I will not support her 2 sisters and her mother all who are living separately unless it is a dire emergency. She has absolutely no problem signing a prenuptial agreement and she wants to earn her own money to help pay the bills and buy her own stuff like makeup. I cover all of the major expenses. She doesn’t need to have kids or luxury items. We will travel , take classes together, dine out occasionally and go for walks but mostly just relax at home. She enjoys gardening , listening to music, singing and I enjoy pickle ball and softball. We have deep mutual respect and love for each other.
Years ago I used to follow Dr Laura Schlesinger.who wrote books with Advice on relationships, moral and ethical issues, was a counselor, political commentator, talk radio host, columnist, author. She used to say when you meet another human being you have to see them in every season at least twice. That means before you commit know them and have a close relationship with them for 2 years. Now did I ever do that? Heck no! 😅 But it was still wise advice. Paul your recommendations reminded me of what she used to advise.
I miss that lady. I listen to her a lot as I traveled in my car. She had a lot of good advice, but I imagine today. Oh gosh, she’d be in trouble constantly with the way the US has gone. They’d toss her off the radio waves.
Hi @mountainmusings23 Thanks for sharing Dr. Laura's wisdom, appreciate the reminder!
Lifestyle in America will ruin any good girl or any relationship 😢
That’s a negative ghost rider. I moved my Filipina here and we’re still doing great.
Hi @SpiritRobert-gq3pl We agree, cultural differences can be challenging.
Hi Paul,
Thanks for another great rule of thumb type video!
I am paying attention. 1) My Fiancé is meets the first two requirements. As far as the 3rd requirement is concerned, We have lived together for a total of 2 months, so far. During the 2 monthes, we have endured a few difficulties together like getting lost, running out of money, dealing with town gossip, and suffering illness. So, we are about 33% thru your 3rd requirement of living together for 6 months.
I think I have a keeper. But, only time will tell now for sure…
Happy Easter to you and Baby Mae!
Happy Easter 🐣
My friend came to Australia with his wife and quickly found a young guy. He built her a house and other things he did
Hi @user-et3gq8wk6d That's quite a difference! We've had similar experiences here, building our life together.
Paul, great video. I noticed that as you are getting older your advice, based on your analysis, is becoming very acute.
Hi @loneranger668 Thank you! Means a lot coming from you.
We attend a Catholic Church in the US where there are several FilAm couples. Older men bringing their younger wife to the US. In most cases, the younger Filipinas leave their husbands soon after receiving the green card. Those who get married to older Filipinas (45+) have a better success rate. If the Filipina is under 35 and her husband is 50+, the odds are against the husband.
Hi @garyzies3486 Interesting perspective, thanks for sharing!
Hey Paul, great upload as usual. Your on point. I'm 56 my Filipina wife is 45, I married her in Iloilo and brought her here to New Jersey. It's been 8 years, so far so good. I think I got lucky! Lol. However, if I had to do it over, I'd have left her back in Iloilo. Life in the states will change your Filipina 100%. The question is to what extent? In our case, thankfully, my wife is still very much Filipina but she has changed a bit. The good news is, we're a few years away from both moving to the Philippines to retire. So hopefully whatever Americanization that's occurred will be reversed. Lol You're correct, the age and where you meet your Filipina has a lot to do with it. But I'd caution the guys to think twice before bringing your Filipina to the US. Just my advice. Just my two cents. 👋
Hi @USAtoPhilippinesLife Thanks for sharing your experience, glad to hear things are good!
Sometimes the truth hurts. Sometimes the truth doesn’t line up with your hopes, and dreams. But when a guy who has 7 years on locale gives you some free advice, you best hang on to every word of it. Thanks Paul.
Hi @Dragon_rls Appreciate the kind words!
No way I'm bringing one to America, I live in Ca, the hedonistic lifestyle here is cancer to any relationship, no matter how grounded or old or young the girl is. And lets face facts. Our dollar goes further there, I just need to settle were it's not so hot. Haven't found a suitable place yet. Key factors decent medical within a couple of hours drive, reliable pharmacies, cooler climate, markets close by. Some of these are big asks, the more I learn the better off I think I'll be just getting a maid to help out. No full time GF. LOL
My Filipina and I have been together for 8 years and been married for 4 years. She is here in the USA with me. I do not worry about it. I think their up bringing have a lot to do with it
Yep. Or as Paul talked about- her “character”.
Good for you that you found a keeper, brother.
I did too, and I thank God for her every single day.
Hi Paul, you are doing such a great service for all interested in the Philippines. Thank you
Hi @GregLevie Thank you! Appreciate your kind words and support!
Why the hell, at retirement age, should I...
1) get married
2) cohabitate
3) impregnate
4) raise some other fool's kids
5) tie myself down inconveniently
6) throw away all the peace, quite, rest, adventure and fun.. that I had been working my whole life for
7) make myself more valuable dead than alive
8) support an entire clan of strangers that weren't there for me when my a$$ was in pain working with ailments all those years
9) give into a self defeating trend of stu_pid decision making
10) make myself more miserable with drama
11) leave one stressful life for another
12) put myself at a disadvantage
13) subject myself to people's bullsh$t
14) do anything other than enjoying my life in my retirement?
WHY???
To each it's own!
✌️
lol wow you seem like a fun happy guy lol
@@kennyl.TheSilverJewelryGuyhe's right though
This comment should be pinned.
Yep. That’s right. Live the dream. I know exactly what you are saying
#8 seriously that is the deal breaker that most men do not know about.
There is no guarantee in life between any couple no matter where they live or what country you both are from.if there is no love or trust or fidelity between the two of you, it is bound to fail.
Married for 20 years, now single for 24 years,I will never marry again! I got off that roller coaster, thank God! Good luck to you.
Hi @sjbutler2330 Thanks for sharing your experience! We appreciate your honesty.
It can happen anywhere there is always a better option everywhere.
Hi @stevehansen6552 True, the grass isn't always greener here!
I fill like I have seen this video before. Thank you.
It's like a rerun of your favorite show, right? Appreciate you tuning in!
For me as married to a foreigner it should all balance of each side of each decision , agreement etc.
Hi @LeezJoe10589 I completely agree, finding that balance is key.
Good example of reality and wise words of wisdom. Thanks Paul, we all need a reality check sometimes. Love may be blind, but lust is just plain stupid. Lol.
91K subscribers! Dang you’ll definitely hit 100K soon. Congrats!!! Been a subscriber since your first video.
One thing you should mention about TH-cam is the glitch in their system. For some reason, TH-cam is unsubscribing your subscribers, believe it or not. Not sure if you knew this or not. Subscribers should check the icon (to make sure) before watching the next video.
Hi @vinniephillips452 Thanks for the support and the heads up on the TH-cam glitch! We'll keep an eye out.
My brother and his wonderful wife are still together after many many years. They will stay together and are happy with each other.
Hi @Friedbrain11 That's great to hear! We're aiming for a lifetime of happiness too.
Great info for all men. Thank you Paul. Happy Easter to you and Mae.
Hi @montymeyer7172 Thanks!
Thing is living in the USA with my Filipina is much better than living as an expat in the Philippines. You get the best of both worlds. My wife didn't leave me.
The divorce rate in the US is about 50% so it is not like marriages with American partners is a sure thing. If your spouse is from Kansas City or Manila if they are going to leave you they are going to leave you.
You aren’t wrong brother, AT ALL.
I’m glad you found a good one.
Happen all the time, saw this when I was in the navy. Once they hit san Diego. Moving on really qu ick . Some took as much $$$ than back in the Philippines 😮
This is a good video. I enjoy watching Paul. He tells it like it is.
Hi @allen9129 Thanks for enjoying the content!
3 good points about a relationship between age gap couples. The one thing that I would modify is time. I don’t think living with someone for one year is long enough. Got to be at least two or more. Some things you might miss the first year but by living together for 2+ years you’ll see her true colors and make a more sound decision about continuing or not.
Just my opinion.
Totally get where you're coming from! It's all about taking the time to truly understand each other in any relationship.
People change constantly throughout their lives. And of course old age and infirmity makes grumpy old men intolerable.
You hit the bail on the head paul all down to the character of couple we have good saying in emerald isle smallbit of breeding is worth 2 tonne of feeding you have chosen wisely go with excitement if u choose she will be there for you i reckon😢😢
Yes I worked for years to get a former wife to my country and I was better dealt within 8 weeks. She was Colombian
What you say makes total sense. Thanks for sharing Paul.
Hi @thomasandrewphd.5844 Thanks for relating, glad it resonates with you!
Hi Paul!
I stumbled on your channel, and you have some wonderful videos. I especially enjoyed this one as I have a Filipina wife, and we live in the USA. Never seen anyone address this specific topic before, but doubt anyone will ever make a more wisdom filled one than you did right here. There’s at least $10k worth of solid counseling right here for free, and I don’t think that’s an exaggeration. Yes, it’s condensed down, but it’s all true and worth SERIOUS ATTENTION to anyone getting married period, regardless of where they’re from or who they’re marrying.
It boggles my mind some of the nasty comments people make, and how much utter ignorance there is too. One would think from some that marrying a good ol’ girl from the USA is a sweet, sure deal, while marrying a Filipina is like marrying a bomb or something. And it just ain’t so. Not if they followed your wise counsel especially, and also simply looked for “red flags” (which all men choose to ignore at some time, but it’s typically really unwise to do so.)
So thank you for your time and effort!
Bruce in the Lone Star State
Thanks so much Bruce
Appreciate your knowledge and wisdom on such matters.
Great video, Paul. I appreciate your honesty, in looking at the situation from both sides, and respectful wisdom.
Hi @CoconutDreams123 Thanks for the kind words! Means a lot to me.
Hey Paul, Great video, many words of wisdom you have spoke, Totally Agree, also agree on the More More More, I would Not bring her over ‘here’ for the simple truth you spoke. Stay safe my friend.
Words of wisdom from an old sage. Could have used these words 30 years ago 😂. Have great day Paul ‼️
"Will she put up with my crud?" should be a huge eye opener for any guy. Yea, we are who we are, but many times we do not realize it. Am I the best there is? absolutely! But that might not be reality. Maybe we need to know who we are before we jump into something like this.
27 year age gap here. We talked on-line for 6 months and I visited 3 times. The 3rd trip she and her 4 year old son came home with me to California. He graduated from university this year with a degree in chemical engineering. My wife, you ask, how did that work out? She is my best friend of my lifetime and I am hers. It was a rough start and I didn't have the luxury to stay with her there for a year. I had a business here to run. Looking back, and listening to your video, I also would also recommend staying there for a year first. If you can't do that spend as much time as you can talking and getting to know each other and always watching for the red flags. Too many red flags or any serious ones means that you probably need to pass. My wife was 30 when she arrived here and was going on 45. She was looking for a home, a family and a future. The most difficult part for us was "home sickness". She was here for 5 years before we could send her and our son home. Now she is lucky enough to have a close cousin 30 miles away, a niece 70 miles and a sister 250 miles away. She has gone home 4 times for visits and I went the last time after I retired. But yeah, home sickness is a real thing. Thankfully now with technology and free Messenger calls, new arrivals can stay in touch so much easier. I never had any fear, she would leave, ZERO ! I always considered myself a good catch. My advice is make a good choice by being intellectually honest, treat her special because she is and make sure that you like yourself and everything should be fine.
Hi @Mr12barbluz Thanks for sharing your personal experience and valuable insights!
I married my wife in the Philippines. Never occurred to me to not start the paperwork/process to get her over here to Canada. She is maximizing her potential, working her way up to management in her workplace and building up her eventual Canadian pension.
It’s all a part of the idea of making sure she’s better off having met me. Never crossed my mind to not get her over here to experience this side of the world. All that said, we only have a 14year age-gap, and we’re a pretty good match. In the 6 years she has been here we’ve basically shrank down any economic imbalance between us in terms of income. She doesn’t need to ask ‘permission’ for anything. I’m fine with that, it was my actual goal. I like having a partner, not an ‘underling’🤷🏻♂️
Good Video, sir.
Hi @markreynolds5363 Thanks! Glad you enjoyed the video.
Paul, your wisdom and your maturity is next level. Thank you being so genuine and you come across just that in TH-cam. I will take your advise when it comes to women😀
Hi @vivekbanerjee299 Thank you for the kind words! We're glad to be of help.
IT OPENS UP THEIR EYES. DON’T DO IT….
Great topic Paul. But if your wife goes to USA you’ll lose her to a young rich athletic guy. You and I at our age look like raisins. Nature takes over especially if she feels/experiences a BIG lover if you know what I mean. My advice keep her home count your blessings ENJOY LIFE WITH HER.
Agreed. I think another thing that can lead to an end in the relationship is when the man is unwilling to support the girls parents. Right or wrong, it is expected.
Hi @scottbrown321 That's a great point! We've experienced that firsthand with my wife's family. Support means everything here.
I’ve witnessed your story on 3 occasions here in the US, two was a large age gap problem and one went for more money. All the men were previously married and their wives were first time marriages.
Sounds like a cultural invariant: I knew a guy in college whose quasi-girlfriend left him for a dentist and later I had a coworker who related he had had a steady girlfriend left him for a dentist. Yeah, the ages were close and all were Americans, but the dentists to whom the young women jumped could all provide better $$$...
Hi @alwilliamson3798 That's a sobering reminder of cultural differences. We appreciate your perspectives from living in the US.
Hello Paul, when I first watched your video you only had around 500 subscribers.
Hi @Tommy_taipei Wow, time flies! We've grown a lot since then, thank you for noticing!
Definitely not meaning to be unkind, but I saw so many old Western guys with over 35 year old Filipina who were facially a 4 or 5 but body was trim and slim. They viewed the female as a "10" but they are less likely to be viewed as a "10" by most young Western guys. So they are unlikely to get tons of offers. I know two women like that who married very much older Western guys . .... Going out socially, they admitted that there was so much competition in the Philippines that they grabbed what they could get ..... And importantly, they would stay with their kind and generous husbands. BUT ..... If an old guy has landed a real 8/9/10 then stay in the Philippines!
This is also true but the dating market in the US is mixed. A Newport Beach. Ca or a Miami 6 would be a Little Rock Arkansas 10. Southern California has millions of people and thousands of gorgeous women of all races so a beautiful filipina (even a beautiful 20 something Filipina) wouldn’t necessarily stand out in LA. A cute filipina with an average body over the age of 35 would probably not be getting as many head turns.
Good piece and so obvious. Sadly, some guys can only think with what's in their trousers. Those with a little intelligence work out pretty damn quick that it's about values. Materialism is low value, caring about a person is high value...love the highest. Finding the higher value takes time. Sadly too many people don't have the time or social awareness to find it.
even with all the precautions, vetting, background checks, family interviews etc, she has one mood swing and you're ground meat being processes through the divorce/custody industry.
So obvious. And easy for this old fart to stay away from. Have at it if you must. Me? I love freedom too much. I’m staying clear of that mess
Hi @robertreynolds580 Thanks for your insightful comment!
Its a business transaction to the young gals in the PI. They will always go with the guy that has the most MONEY!!
Great content!!this helps so much to keep things real!!
Hi @michaelpalosaari9460 Thanks for watching and glad it's helping!
Paul, this was one of your best fireside chat about relationships, you gave me a great insite in reality on woman and relationships😮
Hi @johnstuart9965 Thanks for enjoying the video! I'm glad it resonated with you.
I am building a small concrete castle on the Philippine island. And yes it is defendable.
Bless you Paul, your's is the voice of calm reason & truth. You're a wise man!
I can tell you for certain, sometimes a woman will leave her similarly aged husband (who isn't very financial), for a much, much older man with several properties & lot more money. Que Sera Sera... 🎭
Hi @blackwoodrichmore4531 Thank you for your kind words and sharing your insight!
I am very critical and of these old men in the Philippines making these videos. But I gotta give Paull credit, he is down to Earth and realistic. Many of these similar bloggers let their false sense of power in the Philippines go to their head. But Paul seems to keep his feet on the ground.
Thank you Paul, another great topic. God bless you and your wife.
Hi @jetPower1960 Thank you so much! Appreciate your support!
I firmly believe it takes 5 years to truly get to know someone. Thats the point where you see all the good and bad. No one can deceive for 5 years.
Reverse the roles and the countries, and you have exact same scenario, from the different perspective. Granted, it isn't the same, usually due to the financial perspective. But, remember, on a return to the west, any financial 'advantage' is probably gone.
The reverse scenario gives you a sense for the new options she would have. I.e. just picture moving to the Philippines with a filipina you met in the west. Now you are faced with endless, young, filipinas interested in you. Do you stay faithful to your filipina? I imagine that is similar to what a young, beautiful filipina would encounter on a move to the west.
Frankly, I'd never return to the west in the first place! But, if you do, you need to make sure that your relationship is solid, if you want it to work.
Hi @paulmiller9997 Thanks for sharing your perspective! We've considered all aspects of our life here too.
Currently live on Oahu and have for almost three decades. We have a huge population from the Philippines and many old guys with young wives.
I've noticed the trend in thses women being honest and such when they arrive, but very often end up cheating and/ or bailing once they get their green card or buying into modern American "values".
I really believe it's a symptom of how tremendously skewed the USA has become. They become westernized and unbearable, just like most American women, despite being wonderful upon arrival.
I knew one girl who was devoted to her older husband at the start, but spent too much time around Americanized filipinas. She ended up being a pretty loose woman on the side (even hinting at wanting to fool with me, despite knowing my wife) and her husband never saw past her lovey dovey front. He ended up retiring and figured it out pretty quick and shipped her back home after invoking the prenup, but was never the same and has remained single since.
It's crazy how common it is here and how fast they change. If I were a guy with a feminine and wholesome foreign wife (of any age or nationality), I'd never bring them to America. It's almost a disservice to the woman, because so many think Americans are righteous and forward thinking and want to emulate us.
It's almost laughable how screwed up we are, these days.
Surprisingly good content... how to pick any spouse
Hi @Iamkayaky Thanks for watching!
Suggestion: switch to an easy chair, in a corner, with side table, with flowers and back lighting...maybe a small painting when you are handing out advice like this.
Switch out the small painting for a "HANG ON, BABY, FRIDAY'S COMIN'!" poster in the background.
i think that he would look cool in a made up "set" like you said.
Paul I think if you have a good woman and she truly loves you and she believes in her marriage then I think she would stay with her husband and it also depends to that the husband treats her good and loves her to and makes her feel she is the most special thing in the world then I think you are safe in your relationship plus don't put them in a situation for the woman to be encouraged by someone else to cheat being going to work as u stay home or going out with friends by herself to a bar or something like that because then you are just asking for trouble
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate your insights on what makes a relationship strong and secure.
@@commonsenseisntcommon1776 not in the Philippines.
Others become Americanized and leave the old fart for the new young stud
It says exactly what an Americanized lady is. That’s why men go to the Philippines.
Yeah… but what happens when the old fart wants to leave? The Filipina makes it very difficult. Hey. You can have the train wreck young stud. Take her. Judas Priest.
I have witnessed a lot of relationships with Filipino women. In my observation over 20 years it’s been 80% success at least on the 10 or 15 couples I have known. These were all Air Force friends.
Hi @danielmarler8774 Impressive statistics! Thanks for sharing your insights.
Well said. That about covered it all
Hi @Alexinthephilippines Thanks for agreeing!
Yeah I will keep my private stash ( girlfriend- wife) in the Philippines…besides she has no interest in leaving the Philippines….
Hi @user-dy5pq7tp7g Understood!
Two things you missed, that's in addition to the three you listed... 1) If you take her back to the US, and she has other female Filipino friends group where they gossip, chatter, and create envy or jealousy. Just like American women, sometimes they want to just take someone down who's doing better than themselves... so they poison the relationship by setting things up, or planting seeds of doubt. Second, if they become more educated (such as attend college or get a college degree), they get more exposed Western feminism, meet other men within their same age group, or get a well paying job that they are no longer financially bound to the guy. Seen this first hand from people who I know. Best to just stay outside of the US, and they'll have a much better life.
But many have friends and family back home to see often. Avoiding the US because you're afraid of younger guys stealing them shows insecurity more on you. Nothing wrong western women. It's no different in China, Singapore, South Korea, Japan, etc. Find someone your age and problem solved
@@youngandfree93 It's not insecurity, but rather wisdom. If someone was able to get a girl 30 years younger than them in the US, don't you think they would've done that already? And yes, there's a lot wrong with Western Women... if there wasn't, why are there so many men leaving the US to find relationships in Asia, Europe, and South America. I don't tell anyone how to live their love life, and neither should you.
@@fialee8 why do you need someone 30 years younger than you though? What in common would a baby boomer have with a Gen Z or Millennial on a romantic level. In many countries these are mostly parent and kid relations only. I say this as Millennial myself I have next to nothing in common with older folks. Both on s physical and emotional level. There are plenty emotional stable men in American who have no issue about living there. You look at the older guys coming to Asia here all bitter about back home, many have serious issues. Many of them mental sadly. If I ever brought an elder lady home as my gf my parents would freak out just like my sister with an old guy
@@youngandfree93 Just as you don't want someone to tell you who to love, you should do the same for others. If they are adults, they should do as they please regardless of age. If you don't like it, that's your problem... don't make it someone else's.
Hi @fialee8 Thanks for sharing your insights! We've seen similar dynamics at play in our own experiences here in Dumaguete.
Like they say beauty's in the eyes of the beholder.
I'm glad you think your wife is beautiful it shows that you love her.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
You don't know If someone is really "beautiful" until you meet them face to face. Where I'm from there are many women who can pose a beautiful picture, but as soon as they move or speak the illusion is shattered.
Wow, that is very insulting.
@@chocolatecookie8571how so?
@@nala3038 Because he is indirectly saying out loud that he finds May unattractive. But at the same time he is happy (?) that Paul is okay with May. These two things is very rude because you dont have to insult other people's wives and definitely not out loud and second it is very weird (lacking to find the right word) to say that he is happy that Paul finds her attractive. It is typical Western directness. It is uneducated, not social and disrespectfull. I hope you understand.
Who knows what the future holds. I’m 65 now, and 22 months from retirement. Yes I’m going to roll the dice and be with a younger Filipina, but they’ll know up front that the plan is to live in the Philippines, vacation in the US…But it wouldn’t be the first time I didn’t pay attention to my own rules…
Hi @karlenzmann1917 Wise decision! Best of luck to you both.