I remember when I became aware after the discard that I was in a spiritual battle. I said it to a couple friends and I could tell they thought I was crazy … so I never mentioned it again. And then that sense was validated when I found these channels and I started hearing others refer to it as that.
I am 72 and I still get bamboozled. The most recent one tried to convince me that I am "in the early stages of Alzheimers" and I need her help. Unbelievable!!!
Just remember they are narcissists and they are the ones who are out of order. I am 77 and the best advice I can give narcissistic behaviour is to close the door on the relationship, at our age we do not need to put up with toxic people. Carol N.I.
The secret is, keep your mouth shut, do not discuss anything about the relationship with anyone. Stay quiet even with family and friends. If anyone asks, say, the relationship sadly ended don’t hold further conversation. This person will hang them selves out to dry but you need to get on with your life, you may need to move away from some people and do. When these types of relationships end be prepared to let go of a lot of people, it’ll be worth it in the end. Find 1 person separate from the ‘group’ to confide in. Keep quiet and move on, seriously please do and do not look back. Move on, move on, move on 😊
Great advice. I’m finally severing contact with those who were mutual friends but supportive of me. They all have opinions that don’t serve my new life even if they think they mean well. Yes, a whole circle of flying monkeys. 💜
@@debmary2999 unfortunately this is what happens, even those with good intentions can’t seem to get it. I believe that you have to go through the cycle to understand the dynamics of this relationship style and those who haven’t or are oblivious can’t understand and I suppose how could they and those who have come out the other side usually don’t want to revisit or discuss it again or minimally and it’s because people won’t understand.
This wisdom is going to help me so much as I navigate a 'no contact' MUST follow through with. I started a month ago and already I have the "it wasn't that bad, I can forgive again" thoughts creeping in. The thoughts are deceptive lies needing to be fought off.
This is absolutely what I experienced. After the discard is when the sadistic torture and most severe damage happened. Flying monkeys and enablers, and parental alienation cause you to question yourself. Prayer, prayer and more prayer!
Once you put the pieces of the puzzle together and you find a narc expert and you can admit to yourself what you're dealing with. The time comes to take a deep breath. For me the end came in a somewhat magical way. I googled "What does it mean when you mate disappears and never says a word?" Google response. "It's a malicious act." I was floored. I never expected that. I went on to my You Tube page and low and behold there were narc experts on my site. I stayed glued to my computer for weeks, hours every day. My life changed. I got it. I finally understood what was going on in my life, where it all started. Narc experts are here to help us keep us from dealing with this alone. These people are God's angels. Stay with it, let it all sink in, do not cave. Allow yourself to heal and hang in there. Go through the stages. In time it will all make sense. If you go back they will tear you to pieces. Don't give them that opportunity. Love yourself because the narc has absolutely no capacity to ever love you, or anyone.
Great advice and my experience was the same. I found narcissism when researching my mother who I realised at the age of 65 was a grandiose narcissist. In the process of research on You tube i realised my partner of 21 years was a covert narcissist and BOOM my life changed and a spiritual journey began. Once you know you cannot unknow! I am 2 plus years into my healing journey and there mentally now but physically waiting to sell house. Spirit is guiding the divine timing of everything so I can move on fully healed. I am grateful for my enlightenment as I was so wounded and miserable and am now finding peace and learning to love myself for the first time in my life. Namaste ❤️🥰🙏
That's what I did.. When I didn't understand why these things kept happening to me, I needed to know what was really going on because it was so wrong.. I'm trying to heal from this abuse.
@@jeannieotb8491 wow I was reading your comment wondering if I had written it and forgotten. My mother is also 65 and has wrecked the family. When I digested that about her and some of my siblings I realised my husband of 21 years was exactly the same. I am still going through a sort of grief and am embarrassed because I know some people think 'it can't be everyone else, it must be you' But I know now. There's no going back to not knowing
I’m happy for all you as you are healing now. But I’m still struggling, getting out of his vicious trap is extremely hard as kids are involved too. It’s been 20 years I’m burning. Despite of being highly educated I’m not allowed to do any job and he’s earning day and night. He’s getting stronger and stronger and I’m getting weaker and weaker. I cant leave because he will take my kids at any cost. I can not leave my kids with this demon. He’s cheating all the time recoding my activities at home, tracking my car abusing me financially,emotionally and physically. Even police and social services can not understand them properly due to their masked faces. I’m stuck in know if I even think to leave he will give me a strong battle at court and i will lose my kids. He had done this before and was successfully able to take my kids from me. So I had to come back to him just for the sake of my kids. His silent treatment made me made ,I wanted to talk to him to clear things but he didn’t listen. He smear campaign against me in relative and every where so no one would believe me. I had no where to go I need help so that I can survive if he uses law against me. I don’t have any proof against him while he had thousands of my recordings in which I’m crying and screaming due to his abusive behaviour. No one know that before those videos how badly he hit me and how long he kept me Locked at 😢home with little kids.
I made every mistake in the book. And then I became clear. Cleaned up my act. And made the cut. Basically everything you talk about here, I moved forward. I'm writing this to let others know that it's never too late to course correct, and win.
That’s a lie it’s rigged and no matter what you give in and give them it won’t be enough and they will lie and slander and make up another reason to bully they people they fucked over it’s all about them and their control and religious brainwashing and nothing to do with their victims human trafficking racist and jealousy sabotaging animals don’t give them anything
I am stuck with the Narc in my life as we share a daughter. I have tried all things mentioned and I have just resorted to managing myself.😢 I am definitely better than I was years ago. He is pure evil, and I am scared for my daughter
I love that the best weapon against the narcissist is simply do nothing at all. It sounds ds so easy and it should be so easy yet, it's the most difficult thing to do. I do believe I'm making great progress against my abuser. Thank you for such intelligent insight.
You are absolutely right! You're not a wimp AT ALL for doing that either. You're a warrior. I'm naturally a fighter.. but when someone's trying to force me into some stupid needless TUG OF ROPE game that never should have been started... Sometimes the best move is to just LET GO OF THE ROPE and let them fall into the swamp they created themselves in the first place! (They can REWRITE HISTORY all they want and claim that I couldn't "handle the truth" or the truth or whatever LIES they want to make up to themselves and to their pathetic fawning audience!!!). Good for you for waking up to the reality of these monsters who pretend to be the nicest people in the world at times! I'm not a sadist like they are, but I ain't going to lie, I get satisfaction when I see people like myself put them in their place either by hurting their feelings of the comment or not playing the game they hoped for us to play!
Recently prayed regarding my loss of property, relatives that knew the facts, but didn't want to be involved, in case the demon attacked them too. I 'd found an agency that purposes to helping seniors whom have been exploited/ scammed. My prayer for asking God, what can l do. Immediately l heard, Do Nothing. I felt peaceful. God can take better care of us than we can fathom anything for ourselves. Have Faith in God. Amen
@@bettywhite8407If stilling with you,they are extremely irresponsible and if you don't check their hidden actions,especially when money is involved.Thry will bring you to your knees and don't care.Be very careful if living with one.Never trust them.
currently disabled and can't seem to escape the narcissists. I'm deciding to just go silent and focus on self development, learning and helping others in the best ways I can. I will no longer engage at all with abusers, even if I live with them, currently. Your videos have been so helpful, thank you.
I felt the mask slip after the first few months of marriage. I was gradually devalued and I fell into sadness. I suspected he was capable of terrible things, but did not really see those things until after our 30th anniversary. My suspicions became clear. He was an amazing pathological liar. Evil. Calculating. I don't know how I did it, but I became a force and got free.
Some days I wake up and wonder if I’ll ever heal. It was so hard. People now a days are just so empty and selfish. So unbelievably hurtful. I used to be sociable but now I feel like I’m a totally different person. 16 years of the worst kind of abuse. Still in divorce proceedings. No money, lost most of my friends. But in retrospect, the friendships were all one sided. I was just surrounded by a bunch of dysfunctional broken people. I’m getting there. But boy, do I have bad days.
Reach out to others if you like I’ll be a buddy for you. I’ve been out of this evil mess for 3 yrs. Contact Paula and asked if she would connect us fyi. I’m 58 3 grown kids self employed and enjoying my life
I hope you can find peace, I still have dark days too but the days in between get better. You deserve so much more than that cruelty. Good luck it'll come to you when you're ready.
@@JohnSmith-wo7ns Thank you John. I’m simultaneously in awe with how beautiful and divine my life is. But I get hit with a residual ton of bricks from time to time. Usually out of the blue. God bless you. Hoping great joy and healing for you.❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Agree. One wins. It’s a shameful situation and brings everything down. It’s just a loss with pain. And nobody can totally understand what you’ve been through…..
It's sadly often at this most critical time , when you need support the most , you can find yourself completely alone ! There was always the worry that this showdown would occur , and now it has you have to muster all your strength to get through it , but staying calm , silent , vigilant and carefully protecting yourself , only defending yourself when utterly necessary ! They are angry because you have dared to challenge their superiority on every level , they are inflamed with rage and deeply insulted , and will think NOTHING of trying to demolish your life ! Their mission is to belittle you and teach you a lesson by proving the point that they AND ONLY THEY can win ! However ,..this is a FAKE reality !!! They think they control your life and your world , but THEY DON'T ! Your mission is to use whatever means you have to cut them off , shut them up and send them packing ! Stay strong , stay focused , .and although they will NEVER admit it , you will beat them and win 🙏♥️ it out !
Absolutely. I did everything for the clown with a crown. He eroded all my most cherished friends. He beat me, he cheated, he’d interrogate me all night for merely looking at another guy. (Usually ugly old men) Even though nobody much liked him. When I finally woke up, I had everyone against me. Including my own children. But then they slowly woke up and realized they had been totally had. Just as you said. He was on his best behavior. He’d cry, victim. Pathetic child/wife beater.
Get away and STAY away for yourself and your children. None of you need to suffer anymore. No matter how much he begs, pleads, and cry, and fake remorse, he is and will always be the same if not worse. You deserve better, and being with him won't be. You know what you went through and how you felt. Why go back?.
Yes, that is one of the worst parts, knowing what they are, but every body else do not see it. I had to learn not trying to convince others, because you are accused off being hatefull or hurt. Yes i Was hurt, but i would never lye or tell bad things iff they where not true. The worst thing is when people you love do not see it, or do not want to see them for what they are. I have young adult children and i have learned to not speak what i think, even though it would be better when they knew, but they are not ready to accept what their father is. They use the same excuses that i used until he showed me what he is. I hope one day they will be able to see.
This is my issue too, my young adult xhildren are being used and manipulted. Our relationships have been damaged so much. This is the most heartbreaking and difficult situation in all of this x
I had the same with my adult son, don't forget the children were in the FOG as you were. Trust me they WILL get it eventually. Just be there ready to catch them . Stay strong, good things will come from this mess👍
I did it this way 15 years ago, intuitively, but I couldn't believe it's really like this, until someone like you put it into the words. Really diabolic. I've got a mega hoover 2 years ago and withstood. Now getting huge education and processing. It feels like walking out of the fog and still cannot believe what you see.
They've betrayed themselves so it's natural they'll betray you. Another great insight Paula thank you. Stand still, stand straight stay calm and quiet, don't feed the wolves, excellent words....
The fact that you have carried on living your life without them can be enough to enrage them into seeking revenge ! They may not be smiling anymore ,..but they are STILL the assassin , so be very , VERY careful , guys ! 🙏🙏♥️
You hit it out the park! Kudos! Those who are in a relationship with a narcissist, know your triggers…know what it takes to get an emotional response (narcissistic supply). Grey rock is the defense. Block the narcissistic and flying monkeys… NO CONTACT. Use the time to look in the mirror and find your old self. Excellent video! No reaction is the key! If can’t avoid contact, pause and RESPOND, short and dry. DO NOT REACT…. “RESPOND.”
After living with a narcissistic ex- for 15 years, I finally realized that he was crazier than me any day of the week. I've been divorced from him for over 40 years now but only discovered the concepts of npd and empaths just a few years ago in my late 60s. I was shocked to learn that I had been surrounded by narcs since birth. There was no internet/TH-cam in the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s ...
I'm staying quiet throughout my divorce process with my soon to be ex husband. I am blessed that I have a great support system. My husband's parents are actually siding with me. Some of his friends are too. They see what he did. And what he did was horrible and it was planned with his new supply. Both are trying to take me down. Because we have 3 children (1 profoundly disabled) I use the grey rock method with him. We barely communicate and when we do, it via text, I keep it short and I prefer texting to keep records of what is said. Thank you Paula for your wonderful video.💛
My poor Mom sacrificed her Life for 60 Years for my 3 sib INGRATES! I always thought it was Dad, with so many early head injuries, + Football 3 years, pre Pearl Harbor and ⚓Boxing Squad. -> Plus, Horrifying WAR TRAUMAS and Other, 😭 Atrocities! It's Not my Dad's GOP, that's for sure!! Rarely seeing these Nazi Creeps since, 1965 and 1972. Putting a 500,000+ Pc. JIGSAW Puzzle, back together; is NOT what I'd planned for my Senior, and/or Half a "Golden Year"?, + s?, IF -> I can earn* what's been $tolen!! I must be Related to the most ignorant, Greedy ppl in the 🌎. WTF, Red and Blue! - I'll go with White for Honor and integrity. Proud to be an (Indep.) for 42 Years! - If, mostly, at 💜 - Just Over lack of Job Opportunities! 1980. ~ The "RUST BELT," for Over 60 Years!
That's why I have never called her out on being a covert narcissist, that gives me the upper hand, and she almost becomes predictable, and yes I always knew something was off, but I just ignored it and I would doubt myself.
Yes i never called him out either i educated myself on these demons i now laff when iv predicted his nxt move and it happens it validates everything iv learned on these channels 🙌🙏
I surround myself with people from group #3. They know the truth. I have no use for anyone who is swayed by anything my ex-husband (narc) says. I have cut those people out of my life including former family. Move forward, it seems insurmountable at first but you will get through. What you're experiencing is normal given the circumstances! My heart goes out to anyone who has been or is going through this. Just know there is an end in sight. Believe in yourself and surround yourself with people who believe in you not the demonic spirit
Thank you for sharing. It's exactly what's been happening to me. I could tell no one, because they were all in some or other way entangled to the narc. Family, friends and co workers. Everybody wanted to believe the worst in me while I knew everything that was said and done against me came from 2 jealous people. In 15 yrs they turned so many people against me and I could not explain or defend myself against them. All I could do was sit and watched, prayed and knew God was seeing everything and that comforted me. God was the only reason And comfort, which helped me to get out of that network of lies en deceit. I visualised that God was walking beside me all the time. I prayed and God comforted me. He sent Angels, especially Angel Michael, to protect me and I started to feel safe again. I felt abandomed from everybody even some of my family. I prayed that God have to fight my battles for me. I asked the Angels to protect me and help me when I felt sick and they did. I read my Bible and prayed and still do, and got my messages from God in His Word. I started to really believe That God was helping me through all the difficult times I went through and I just started getting better and better. For about a year and a half I am feeling more happy, I am returning to be my old self again, a side of myself I lost by All the evil that was done to me. Thank God for his Grace he pulled me through. God really exists and I wish to tell the unbelievers "change your ways" .
Good for you. My experience too. I am learning at last to trust in spirit and give myself to the divine light to guide me on my life's journey and so glad Spirit took the trouble to rescue me. Namaste ❤🙏
My mother is a Narcissist and I've been abused by her practically all my life. However, the tables are turning. She has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and because I've been caring for my Dad who has the same disease, I've been placed in a very vicarious situation. All the people from family and her friends are seeing that every thing she has said to discredit me as a good son is started to fall apart. They all listened to her lies but I stayed the path of truth. A very lonely road... I stand at the gate and am being prepared to walk through to do what I'm able to offer care in her time of need. Despite the fact of being castigated, slandered, doors slammed in my face, I stand in the wings to do what I will. Not because I'm her son but rather a demonstration of Grace in action. If I'm chosen for this undertaking, it will be more challenging than my Dad. Say a prayer for me....ONE
@@johnhays8202 take it easy John,look after yourself in this difficult process. You are a model son for doing this difficult job under the circumstances. Give yourself a big hug and take care.
@@leonasweny1525 I appreciate your encouragement! Thank you. In this moment, I really need to take a nap. So much to do today but my body and mind says rest. Thanks again. Blessings..
They self project their own inadequacies and failings on to you to control and keep you down and guessing. Stay true and stromg in your own core self and beliefs and run for the hills if you can, never looking back.
My ex started telling me quite quickly in our relationship that I was very defensive, I didn't know what she meant cos I didn't think I was, she was 6 years older so I trusted her opinion, then I was called a liar, once again I wasn't but she convinced me otherwise, I'm now thinking even that early on she was projecting things about herself. Evil evil woman.
A male massage is did this too me. He was inappropriate and knew I was going to say something - but he had already smeared me to my chiropractor and other people in the office - so when I reported him they all stood up for him as me being inappropriate to him. True narcissistic playbook moves.
@@goldilocks3593 he moved right across the street from me and he watches my house and I saw him filming me with his phone saying I was stalking him. The police do nothing
I was raised by a psychotic Narcissist who was my step-father from the time I was a baby: who himself had been raised in a very male oriented, misogynistic culture. He dominated EVERYONE around him! Miraculously I survived my infancy: at one point later in my life my grandmother told me that he had tried to end my existence! I always had an instinctive knowing as I was growing up that he was a liar, and that he was dangerous. He was very charismatic and DIABOLICAL! Looking back on my life, there were a number of times I believe he tried to have me eliminated. I grew up learning, first hand, all the mind manipulating tactics of a psychotic Narcissist! It was a lifelong battle for my sanity! When I was a young adult and had finally gotten out of that house---I was so determined to understand WHY HE HATED ME when I had done nothing to deserve it, so I asked a CHILDHOOD friend of HIS, why: and he told me that my step-father never liked HIMSELF, which was very enlightening and the absolute truth about Narcissists: they loath themselves and have no core identity!
I always knew he was the problem, but my covert mom trained me to help abusive people out. It's my job to fix others and I was. A perfect victim. It wasn't until I literally had to.leave, due to his drug use, that I moved out. Now I'm processing how he robbed me of my relationships with my daughters by smearing me day dot. Trying not to spiral into anger but to heal myself. Thanks Paula, you are truly a godsend. 🤗
When I tried to reach out to friends to talk to them about what happening, they didn’t believe this wasn’t happening, the other person was so nice, mayby I need to get over it, i felt alone, nobody new but me. They know what there doing, be quiet, let it backfire on them, GOD HAS A WAY OF STEPPING IN, and COUCHES LIKE YOU!!!
I knew nothing about narcissism till I met one about 10 years ago. He seemed to be a nice guy. Not, I'm glad that the awareness of this has increased. I have always been a 'strong' person so I was completely unaware of how much damage they inflict. thanks for your channel
One of the oddest things is that , although my narc has long gone , I can still often hear their omnipotent opinion in my head on virtually everything that I do . That's the moment I can smile and remind myself that their opinions don't count anymore 😎❤️🙏🥳
That's one of the wonderful things I love about non narcissistic people.They don't feel the need to perpetually micro manage, force feed unsolicited advice on us, "constructively criticise" us & nit pick at us every waking minute of their lives.
@@thebigh9324 Yes, narcissists love using the "I was only trying to help you" excuse for their control freak tendencies & if you tactfully try to set a boundary by saying that you only want advice from them when you ask them for it, in my experience they blow up & call me a know it all.
Tell that voice to shut up.. And listen to your voice the one that's quite quiet but there, it'll get louder in time and the narcs voice will slowly be silenced.. Good luck.. Namaste 🙏 this advice on the voice of the narc in the head is from Dr. Proffesser Sam Vaknin, who at this procise moment has developed a modal to help people with npd and mental problems has a seminar right now coming up in Romania 🇷🇴 for all the Doctors out there and anyone interested in it, as it can help all of us to know more about this insidious mental heath problems and to be educated helps us to understand more about the subject and will help us to heal as well.. In this field of mental health.. Cluster b. Just letting people know. Namaste 🙏 Peace ✌️ and happiness
My intuition told me in the beginning...something was "off". In the end you find there is no way to emotionally connect. It's always your fault also...always. Thank you sister for your videos🔥♥️
You don't say a word your character will show good people who you really are. Just keep your mouth shut and if people ask you about negative things say nothing and walk away. They have been smearing you a little for a long time because the narcissist is afraid you will find out who they really are. Say nothing.
Doing that now with covert narc husband and his enmeshed family cult system I stood up to in order to protect my children when husband refused to and he threw me under the bus when I confronted his mother about her behavior towards my children. I have gone no contact with the inlaws and been gray rock with him.
It finally comes out. Everyone finally sees what a nutcake my Golden Sister must have been for all those years. And why this little one ran away as fast as possible!
Extremely validating . It is an attack on your very spirit and the essense of who we are . It comes through the cracks of the armor of unsuspecting people as she clearly indicated by saying these types appeal to the narcissism in others like greed or pride , and they also find vulnerable types to manipulate with humor and charm or similar interests being seemingly useful but having no real regard for others or honesty, as in , full on truth. They can pull on heartstrings of people who are well meaning but their very lack of humanity towards those who care the most for them is the most hostile subtle thing that can not be understood or even comprehended by those with no reference point. The gang stalking cult-like group think tank of VILIFICATION and dismissal is a sight to behold. The removal of absolutely everyone from your life even those who are distantly loosely associated with the narcs and flying monkeys , in order to preserve your own life , can not be over stated enough. A demonized empty vessel sounds accurate as one commented here or perhaps more accurate might be the simple statement from a very wise man who said at my fathers funeral " sin has its punishment " and that is just exactly the repulsion john the baptist exhibited towards the brood of vipers , as he called them coming up over the hill. There are appearances and then there is the way things are and will be. We were simply warned . Thank God for your escape and do not fully trust ppl , guard yourself and your heart. All our needs will be supplied.
Paula, I'm grateful for your sharing this information with us. I've been dealing with flying monkeys and knew they had an agenda. Thanks for explaining this smearing phenomenon so clearly, you've helped me understand what was going on. No one has ever come forward to tell me what was said. Paula, you're a blessing! Thank you for providing the strategies to overcome these demonic vessels from the underworld. This education is so valuable. I wish I had known this 2 decades ago! ❤💕
Thank you Paul for this eye opening and true talk. Sadly this is my family. I'm the bad guy, mental issues and so on. The only thing that matters is that I know the truth.
Yes the truth is the truth and no matter what, hold onto that - God saw everything and one day, they will reap what they've sown, a full portion. You've sown in turmoil and tears ....God also saw your suffering and He will bring you through this and out the other side - stand strong! God bless.
Exactly what my husband done to me with my family and his own family he completely isolated me from everyone and tortured me for years thank you so much for your advice I'm so grateful to you
My narcissistic husband will try to ture my family against me but I know what he is they already went no contact. He not aloud to any family party’s not because he hurt me but because he insulted my narcissistic mother and my narcissistic brother .
One of the main things that makes narcs SO dangerous is that they will NEVER admit they have a condition ! Therefore whenever they do something horrendous to you in THEIR mind it will always be valid , because they think they are all knowing and the holders if the real truth ! Most people who suffer from some kind of mental health condition will usually admit to their issues to others , but NEVER the narcissist ! They live in a constant state of denial that they can ever be wrong , so any vile act they might do to you will be perfectly justified in their mind ! Glenn Close's character in Fatal Attraction could easily been a narcissist , that's how damaged , deluded and blindly vengeful they can be when they feel wronged or rejected !!
Currently dealing with my narc mother in law. She lived with us for almost three years (immigrated from Cuba) and I saw many red flags but I didn’t trust my intuition very much for a while until my father in law stayed with us too. I had a front raw sit to her manipulation and abuse. For a time I was trying to understand and justify it with her childhood trauma but I realized that she enjoyed his suffering more than anything. I saw the evil inside of her. She admitted she likes to have him as a door mat and he’s beyond any help at this point. She has degraded him so much he’s a zombie. Now, my husband and I agreed she could stay with us for a month once again to pick up her stuff and move to another place. She asked me if she could talk to me for a moment yesterday and I immediately had a gut feeling. I knew what she was about to do. She wants to stay for longer. The conversation started with how hurt she is that I don’t include her and that I treat her like she doesn’t exist etc etc, cried some tears and then! Started gaslighting, manipulating and LYING. I’m grateful for my intuition because I have learned to detect the narcs and can now pick up a lie or a tactic like that in a second. It’s true that many people will look at us and think we’re exaggerating. It’s ok, it’s enough that we know and we can stay away to protect ourselves 🙌🏻 Loving ourselves and others is how we win this battle of good vs evil ❤️
Love your content it is helpful. Narcissistic behavior caused me so much pain and damage. God has helped me with this but getting the knowledge and wisdom is very important. Thank you so very much.
The narc I have to deal with has not made me doubt myself, etc. My main challenge is to still my angry gut feeling. Even if I’m not near narc, I now understand that my anger is a deposit into their bank account. I have to reach the point that I really don’t get angry. Lies dance around in my head. I’m asking God to neutralize and eliminate those lies from my head.
Thanks so much Paula. You give such an accurate, detailed and articulate description of these sub humans. 💕 My relationship was only 5-6 months before we mutually discarded. The mask came off the last month and he hid it so well. I knew the Narc signs from researching a relationship 6 years prior but the Narcs are getting smarter because of Narcissistic awareness and social media. However, the recover has been so severe and painful. Seems like you settle into a deep dark hole after it’s over. Much different type of recovery from my regular breakups. There has to be a demonic force without a doubt.
For those having this wonderful amazing woman advising and helping to decipher your reality and a Narc's delusional way of life please keep listening in order to learn what has happened, help to walk through and overcome this devastating chapter that is not your fault at all. Rise above what happened. Go on with your own life that any Narc by then doesn't have any hold on. Heal from the turmoil. Say nothing more to anyone. Live no contact with that disaster always looking to destroy what/who they can. After all, we end up having something money cannot buy and no one can give. (peace) can not be defined. It is no drama, no toxicity, no boss, a place where there is clarity.
I have been through all of this. Four years later and still in the divorce courts with the narcissist. Left my family and some friends behind. My father was very misogynistic and abusive growing up and guess who his best friend was….the ex husband narcissist. To this day they are all part of the dysfunction that I crawled out of. When I educated myself because I was on my knees the penny dropped and I knew what I had and would be going through. Fear was running the show as I was left with nothing but two kids to bring up alone. Not many people understand what it’s like but you have explained it too a T..
Uaaau! Same here. When I divorced... my father (overt n) and my ex (covered n) BONDED EVEN STRONGER! 🤣🤣🤣 My mother (as always) didn't want to see/listen/protect me... She is also still (and even more than before) playing the flying monkey rolle to my ex. 🤦♀️ Things got clear with me learning about narcissism: who is who in the zoo. 😉😀 Before... I dared not 'see' who/what my parents were... now I can see 👀 clear and lound how and why I was treated as I was in my primary 'family'. Iiiiii loooooove uuuuu, my Human Empatic Loving Family! 🤗 Thank you all YT-narc-educators, you SAVED my life - I am back in sanity and power and selflove - more than ever before! 💛💛💛✊💪🌞
@@irenahabe2855 sending love and best wishes to you to my lovely human family. You are never the same nor can you ever go back to being the same, your loss of naivety is replaced with something stronger. All the best peace ✌️
I call that Web. The spider and the fly.,It's how I felt. He was the spider. Thanks for the video it explains 43 years of literal horror. Sadly one of our children is dying and he has come back into my life. I took it for a few weeks but decided today to block him and spend what time I can loving my son. We have 6 children and most are like their father. What power does a narcissist have. Well it's from the devil. Thankfully I spend a lot of time with God who is my rock and strength and yes, I have always known there was something off about him, but years of living with him I started believing the problem was myself. I know very well my faults and failings. They cannot he healed, even God can't do anything to help someone that thinks and believes they're perfect
Same here. Divirced, two teenage kids, shared custody... One of them (specially) is getting to copy the father-narcs strategies, manipulations, bullying, passive aggressivenes, gaslighting, word salad... 🤦♀️🙆🏻♀️🤷♀️ And I am observing this, understanding what is going on... sad and powerless over this child (who can - When he Chooses - be a brilliant boy and a very pleasant, wise companion).
This is so exact to what they do. Your advice as always is excellent. Make it a clean break & end the drama. "There is nothing more to be said", is the perfect way to end this, and it's so true.
Thank you for helping me better understand what I was living with. And i was beginning to think i was the problem. That I am the narcissist. But i do have empathy for others. I do care. And i did love. But i was living a lie. Now I understand why I hurt so much. And yes I’ll be stronger from my experience with my narcissist. To learn from my mistakes
Observe don't absorb don't absorb nothing they say at all, once you know you go you get out and you stay out, take anything they say like a grain of salt 🧂 their nothing but mental cases this is why they call them predators
i pray to have the right heart realizing i have been part of the problem. i dont mind being alone. yes its more peacful. usually i stay home..maybe some fishing.. God is at work. Yet people have to know this because they are trapped too. God help us.
It's hard standing strong and firm when I feel so alone sometimes. But I've started turning to faith in God for my spiritual strength. I'm starting to create boundaries, but it's taken me literally years.
Father was brother is a narcissist and what has struck me the most is the anger, meanness, and almost no friends. That no friends one is a huge red flag that we ignore.
I have been through this for 3 years. Everything you say is correct. My son is confirmed overt and his girl is covert. They have done everything they can to destroy me. It all started with his covert girlfriend. They begged me to move in to a big house with them. They only wanted my furniture and furnishings.
There is no need to say, "I don't want to talk about that subject." Just change the subject without making a big point about it. If asked further, be perplexed or confused or slightly distracted or uninformed. Talk about something else. Be uninformed about the narc or whatever topic is being vetted. Add nothing, other than "hmmm" or "I don't know." The target's reaction is being watched closely. The reaction should be no reaction, mindless. This approach is more authentic to how people react to topics that are genuinely not important to them. They just drift to another subject.
I went through this SO hard and lost my family. The covert narc used me to get a job with my family and in a small town where the entire town became flying monkeys. I had to move and still feel so betrayed and hurt by my family.
I can see narcs now thanks to everyone’s educational videos. Best gift I’ve ever received❤️. It was a painful learning curve but well worth it. Take good care of you, you deserve love and respect and kindness and fun. You’re gonna have to stand up for yourself. Sending you much love and light ❤️
Thank you for your channel. I've seen so many phycologists and none of them had any idea what I was describing, the pain I've been in or even cared. They made it seem it's my problem and made me question everything about myself and offered me drugs instead. My sister who's also a victim of my mother's violent narcissistic abuse has Stockholm syndrome.
Thank you for this Paula. It’s another piece of the puzzle. I can now look back and see how my narc was laying the groundwork for the discard months in advance.
This is all true. They become more dangerous when they feel threatened by the fact that you are becoming aware. It is really good advise not to react to their gaslighting and smear campaigns since it gives the opportunity to make you look bad. I was divorced as a single parent which made it very hard and my ex and family took full advantage of that. I finally moved far away but one thing I have noticed is that they never forget about you and continue to try and interfere in your life. Videos like this are lifesavers.
Yes, I felt something was off with my mom but she was stronger. I began to blame myself with alot of guilt. Now I see clearly extremely clear. My sister doesn't speak to me she is on the narcissist’s side. She wants the $ that's provided.
My narc was supportive and helpful but the second I said that a particular behaviour or comment was hurtful to me, she would go into full defence mode: gaslighting, blaming circumstances, claiming that she was misunderstood and I wasn't listening to her, anything but asking for me to clarify, giving empathy let alone apologising. Step by step, pull back then WOOSH, you disappear and never look back.
This is a new revelation ,right NOW , in the progression of abuse from this N M. Decades yes DECADES of the only one knowing the hell the torture . You are here for me NOW AND I THANKYOU for validating what this torture was and still is in a LIFETIME , of victim knowing and not knowing. Everyone close, the WHOLE FAMILY COMMUNITY (very large family of origin, and a very close community) NOT ONE NOT ONE! NOT A SINGLE ONE, Ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever helped me . No one validated what was going on , not even in a little way to say , yes i KNOW what she’s doing to you . She is bad. I’m going to be 70! And she is STILL SUCKING LIFE FORCE in 90s. I THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY BROKEN LIFE, My BROKEN HEART THANK YOU FOR LOVING US , and validating the Victims . Can anyone answer this question, Why did it take THIS LONG for the therapeutic Community and our Culture catch up? I have rage inside that MY WHOLE LIFE YES MY WHOLE FRKIN LIFE I SEARCHED FOR ANY ANSWERS TO : REVEAL THE TRUTH, and NO WHERE I TRAVELED AND NOWHERE I WENT FOR HELP FOR THE ACTUAL TRUTH OF THIS LIE ever answered this . Only Now! Why oh why did it take this LONG?????? And now this EXPLOSION of smart “right on “ information????
That is an interesting question:why has it taken this long to identify these types of people? Maybe five years ago I looked up on Google, "the silent treatment," since that was what my husband would use on me until I'd be the one who would come to him to get the relationship back on track. Never would he come to me unless it was a lecture or ultimatum. Now I know what he is. It's good to learn now anyways, right? I hope you find peace, dear lady. I read the Psalms alot and throw my needs up to God. Take care, be strong! ❤️🌹
for two reasons: 1. there a narc epidemic ongoing 2. people were afraid to talk about it because it looks crazy for those who don’t experienced it. Don’t watch Sam Vaknin, he’s a narc he will confuse you.
20:15 I wouldn't be hoovered back into a friendship situation after being betrayed by someone that allied themselves with a narcissist in a hate campaign against me. There would be no trust & without trust there'd be no peace.
Yes sadly this is the case and are probably reading this right now. Stalking frequently, pushed me out of my job and continue to do their vile work on me. I cannot go walking as I get followed. Been shot at thro an open window with air pellet that nearly hit my eye. Had windows frequently tapped on early hours of the morning during lockdown. Nearly had my car taken out. Been glared at by random folk I've never met before. They have even got children involved with glaring and encourage them to do it infont of me if I'm seen in local store. Weekly for 3 years now and more I've been what can only be described as gang stalking I believe its called. An ex displaying his and his sons perfect new set up and making it known in anyway he can. They have already turned inward and documenting everything to police. They live so close I hear them rowing and throwing each other under the bus. Its vile and sick and has cost me everything. Your videos are spot on and I'm shocked at how predictable they must all be. If only I had found you years ago Xx
I know how you feel, however it’s Never too late to turn your entire Life around!!!! Focus on yourself only!! Embrace your Struggles and Blessings will follow!!! That I know for sure!!!! I’ve been thru so much Narc Abuse, and have come to realize I am a Good Person and had too take a deeper look into myself to find out why I have attracted sooo many of these Demonic beings!!!! God will give you the Test before the lessons, if you keep flunking the test. The lessons will keep coming until you pass the Test!!!! Believe Me I flunked many test before I finally passed the lessons!!! I am so Grateful for having such Awful Experiences,, it’s made Me who I’m am today!!!! Stay Strong and Believe In Your self!!! You will Get thru this!!!! Love and Light To You!!!!😇
Thank you for sharing this information. It came the right time. My daughter and her son which is my grandson has this problem you are describing, Narcissist. I see all the symptoms but I didn't know it is a Narcissist. I am a great believer of God and I have been praying and ask Him for wisdom and knowledge how to deal with them. I stopped sharing anything to my daughter. Her son, which is my grandson has all these signs of Narcissist plus he is a schizophrenia. He is very evil and have been bully me,and his mother doesn't do anything, but enabling him and he also disrespectful to his mother and very jealous of my relationship with his mother. His father is in jail since he was born. I got to the point where I don't look at him or say anything. He will answer with a rude spirit or he doesn't say anything. I am moving to be with my younger daughter, because he has been disrespectful to me etc. I can tell he wants me to move out. I'm moving out to be with my other daughter. I don't care what my daughter says to her uncle and auntie from her dad's side, because I know who am I. She likes to gossip about me to her side of the family to make herself looks good and paint me as a bad person. I can tell by their behavior toward me. They talk on the phone, but stop asking about how Am I doing ? I know she has done her vile work in the family to win them to her side. I don't care about that. Infact, I have peace with in my mind and heart. I stopped sharing anything to my daughter she and her son both have a spirit of jealousy towards me, I keep my distance away from her son..
So happy I found you 🙏 Everything you say in your video's is happening to me. It's so cliché everything. It's difficult to accept but also a blessing that I finally know now. He is a text book narc like mindblowing.
I am so very glad to have found you and your videos. I am three months on my own. It's quiet and peaceful. I can come and go and sleep when I want. Nobody to make me feel useless. I can relax. You are the most thoughtful, sensible, soft-spoken, lovely woman and I truly rely on hearing you and following your advice. I still have many thoughts of all the rotten smearing he has done for years with everyone. I wish there was a way to tell them all the truth about him. But, I will not try. Best to keep quiet, keep away from hom and listen to your good advice. Thank you so much for being there for all of us who need you.
Excellent video. The narc is a selfish hedonistic creature. The narc is a miserable exhausting waste of your time. Walk in the light. You need to stay away from them. Stay active in your own interests Walk music movies God find genuine people to share your time with be happy and healthy. Find indifference and forget about the narc relationship .TIME will heal your heart and mind from the torture of narc abuse. You can rebuild but the narc will always be rotten and useless. God bless
I refuse to engage with her now! She has tried to start arguments, and all she gets back is silence from me! I will only answer her or talk to her if it’s about our son! And even then it’s the bare minimum, even just one word answers from me at times! She hates it!! Yet it was fine when she did it to me when she had isolated me, and ghosted me for weeks, when I was desperately trying to save our marriage!!
Thank you so much for your videos. I have gone through a very tough time...i had no help, no support and guidance whatsoever and i ended up making so many blunders. Good enough i landed on these videos and they have helped me alot get back up! Thank you so much
Book Link Below:
Weaponised Love -a.co/d/g4bB4MI
The spiritual experience that we have when we realize we’re dealing with a demonized empty vessel is hard to explain
Demonised empty vessel is an excellent description
I remember when I became aware after the discard that I was in a spiritual battle. I said it to a couple friends and I could tell they thought I was crazy … so I never mentioned it again. And then that sense was validated when I found these channels and I started hearing others refer to it as that.
This is a good description of the awakening.
I saw the mask come off and it was horrifying. People don’t realize how some people seem normal and “Nice” but they are possessed by demons.
Yes the devil and his demons are narcissists .
I am approaching my 60's and I'm a magnet to these things. A nonstop battle all my life. Life is easier being alone.
I am 72 and I still get bamboozled. The most recent one tried to convince me that I am "in the early stages of Alzheimers" and I need her help. Unbelievable!!!
Just remember they are narcissists and they are the ones who are out of order. I am 77 and the best advice I can give narcissistic behaviour is to close the door on the relationship, at our age we do not need to put up with toxic people. Carol N.I.
Same. Alone with God as much as possible. Life is finally peaceful ❤
I agree
Yes❤🎉
The secret is, keep your mouth shut, do not discuss anything about the relationship with anyone. Stay quiet even with family and friends. If anyone asks, say, the relationship sadly ended don’t hold further conversation. This person will hang them selves out to dry but you need to get on with your life, you may need to move away from some people and do. When these types of relationships end be prepared to let go of a lot of people, it’ll be worth it in the end. Find 1 person separate from the ‘group’ to confide in. Keep quiet and move on, seriously please do and do not look back. Move on, move on, move on 😊
This is what I am planning to do and working on as I first really get my emotions in check and learn to observe not absorb.
Great advice. I’m finally severing contact with those who were mutual friends but supportive of me. They all have opinions that don’t serve my new life even if they think they mean well. Yes, a whole circle of flying monkeys. 💜
@@debmary2999 unfortunately this is what happens, even those with good intentions can’t seem to get it. I believe that you have to go through the cycle to understand the dynamics of this relationship style and those who haven’t or are oblivious can’t understand and I suppose how could they and those who have come out the other side usually don’t want to revisit or discuss it again or minimally and it’s because people won’t understand.
Exactly
This wisdom is going to help me so much as I navigate a 'no contact' MUST follow through with. I started a month ago and already I have the "it wasn't that bad, I can forgive again" thoughts creeping in. The thoughts are deceptive lies needing to be fought off.
This is absolutely what I experienced. After the discard is when the sadistic torture and most severe damage happened. Flying monkeys and enablers, and parental alienation
cause you to question yourself. Prayer, prayer and more prayer!
After years of abuse beyond imagination, God finally revealed their tactics to me and I am standing up to them everyday. They are going down!!!
Once you put the pieces of the puzzle together and you find a narc expert and you can admit to yourself what you're dealing with. The time comes to take a deep breath. For me the end came in a somewhat magical way. I googled "What does it mean when you mate disappears and never says a word?" Google response. "It's a malicious act." I was floored. I never expected that. I went on to my You Tube page and low and behold there were narc experts on my site. I stayed glued to my computer for weeks, hours every day. My life changed. I got it. I finally understood what was going on in my life, where it all started. Narc experts are here to help us keep us from dealing with this alone. These people are God's angels. Stay with it, let it all sink in, do not cave. Allow yourself to heal and hang in there. Go through the stages. In time it will all make sense. If you go back they will tear you to pieces. Don't give them that opportunity. Love yourself because the narc has absolutely no capacity to ever love you, or anyone.
Great advice and my experience was the same. I found narcissism when researching my mother who I realised at the age of 65 was a grandiose narcissist. In the process of research on You tube i realised my partner of 21 years was a covert narcissist and BOOM my life changed and a spiritual journey began. Once you know you cannot unknow! I am 2 plus years into my healing journey and there mentally now but physically waiting to sell house. Spirit is guiding the divine timing of everything so I can move on fully healed. I am grateful for my enlightenment as I was so wounded and miserable and am now finding peace and learning to love myself for the first time in my life. Namaste ❤️🥰🙏
That's what I did.. When I didn't understand why these things kept happening to me, I needed to know what was really going on because it was so wrong..
I'm trying to heal from this abuse.
@@jeannieotb8491 wow I was reading your comment wondering if I had written it and forgotten. My mother is also 65 and has wrecked the family. When I digested that about her and some of my siblings I realised my husband of 21 years was exactly the same.
I am still going through a sort of grief and am embarrassed because I know some people think 'it can't be everyone else, it must be you'
But I know now. There's no going back to not knowing
I’m happy for all you as you are healing now. But I’m still struggling, getting out of his vicious trap is extremely hard as kids are involved too. It’s been 20 years I’m burning. Despite of being highly educated I’m not allowed to do any job and he’s earning day and night. He’s getting stronger and stronger and I’m getting weaker and weaker. I cant leave because he will take my kids at any cost. I can not leave my kids with this demon. He’s cheating all the time recoding my activities at home, tracking my car abusing me financially,emotionally and physically. Even police and social services can not understand them properly due to their masked faces. I’m stuck in know if I even think to leave he will give me a strong battle at court and i will lose my kids. He had done this before and was successfully able to take my kids from me. So I had to come back to him just for the sake of my kids. His silent treatment made me made ,I wanted to talk to him to clear things but he didn’t listen. He smear campaign against me in relative and every where so no one would believe me. I had no where to go I need help so that I can survive if he uses law against me. I don’t have any proof against him while he had thousands of my recordings in which I’m crying and screaming due to his abusive behaviour. No one know that before those videos how badly he hit me and how long he kept me Locked at 😢home with little kids.
Same...❤
This lady is like the commander in chief
This lovely lady,is a dear friend to us too.
ALL the Darkness in the World cannot Extinguish The Light of Single Candle.....St Francis of Assisi.....
Amen.
❤️where there is hatred let me sow light 🌹
Make me a channel of your peace …
Great statement. One i will remember. thanks 😊❤
❤🙏✨️🧚♀️
I made every mistake in the book. And then I became clear. Cleaned up my act. And made the cut. Basically everything you talk about here, I moved forward. I'm writing this to let others know that it's never too late to course correct, and win.
Sage advice and this counts in any aspect of our lives 💚
Exactly! I was 65 years old before I realized what I was dealing with. Weeding out the black aura.
That’s a lie it’s rigged and no matter what you give in and give them it won’t be enough and they will lie and slander and make up another reason to bully they people they fucked over it’s all about them and their control and religious brainwashing and nothing to do with their victims human trafficking racist and jealousy sabotaging animals don’t give them anything
I am stuck with the Narc in my life as we share a daughter. I have tried all things mentioned and I have just resorted to managing myself.😢
I am definitely better than I was years ago. He is pure evil, and I am scared for my daughter
@@michelee8293I am concerned for my daughter as well. He has really done a work on her as well. Praying she will learn from my mistakes
I love that the best weapon against the narcissist is simply do nothing at all. It sounds ds so easy and it should be so easy yet, it's the most difficult thing to do. I do believe I'm making great progress against my abuser. Thank you for such intelligent insight.
You are absolutely right! You're not a wimp AT ALL for doing that either. You're a warrior. I'm naturally a fighter.. but when someone's trying to force me into some stupid needless TUG OF ROPE game that never should have been started... Sometimes the best move is to just LET GO OF THE ROPE and let them fall into the swamp they created themselves in the first place! (They can REWRITE HISTORY all they want and claim that I couldn't "handle the truth" or the truth or whatever LIES they want to make up to themselves and to their pathetic fawning audience!!!).
Good for you for waking up to the reality of these monsters who pretend to be the nicest people in the world at times! I'm not a sadist like they are, but I ain't going to lie, I get satisfaction when I see people like myself put them in their place either by hurting their feelings of the comment or not playing the game they hoped for us to play!
Recently prayed regarding my loss of property, relatives that knew the facts, but didn't want to be involved, in case the demon attacked them too. I 'd found an agency that purposes to helping seniors whom have been exploited/ scammed. My prayer for asking God, what can l do. Immediately l heard, Do Nothing. I felt peaceful. God can take better care of us than we can fathom anything for ourselves. Have Faith in God. Amen
Yes best to do is move on cut all tie of Narcy Relationshit .. Narcy made it all up just to flush you .
🙏
@@bettywhite8407If stilling with you,they are extremely irresponsible and if you don't check their hidden actions,especially when money is involved.Thry will bring you to your knees and don't care.Be very careful if living with one.Never trust them.
currently disabled and can't seem to escape the narcissists. I'm deciding to just go silent and focus on self development, learning and helping others in the best ways I can. I will no longer engage at all with abusers, even if I live with them, currently. Your videos have been so helpful, thank you.
🙏🌹
We all are supporting you. It a long road and you have started taking small steps keep taking small steps. 🙏
100%
Will keep you in my prayers 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Keep on going! Listening to this channel will make u understand what you had bn dealing with. Stand strong, it gets better with time
I felt the mask slip after the first few months of marriage. I was gradually devalued and I fell into sadness. I suspected he was capable of terrible things, but did not really see those things until after our 30th anniversary. My suspicions became clear. He was an amazing pathological liar. Evil. Calculating.
I don't know how I did it, but I became a force and got free.
well done you one of the most difficult things to do. ! namastexx
Stay free and I hope you are enjoying life
Some days I wake up and wonder if I’ll ever heal. It was so hard. People now a days are just so empty and selfish. So unbelievably hurtful. I used to be sociable but now I feel like I’m a totally different person. 16 years of the worst kind of abuse. Still in divorce proceedings. No money, lost most of my friends. But in retrospect, the friendships were all one sided. I was just surrounded by a bunch of dysfunctional broken people. I’m getting there. But boy, do I have bad days.
🌹🌹
Reach out to others if you like I’ll be a buddy for you. I’ve been out of this evil mess for 3 yrs. Contact Paula and asked if she would connect us fyi. I’m 58 3 grown kids self employed and enjoying my life
I hope you can find peace, I still have dark days too but the days in between get better. You deserve so much more than that cruelty. Good luck it'll come to you when you're ready.
@@JohnSmith-wo7ns Thank you John. I’m simultaneously in awe with how beautiful and divine my life is. But I get hit with a residual ton of bricks from time to time. Usually out of the blue. God bless you. Hoping great joy and healing for you.❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
@@freespirit9806 Hi free spirit. Thank you.❤️❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
No one wins in this. The loss is great. The loss is great...
Agree. One wins. It’s a shameful situation and brings everything down.
It’s just a loss with pain.
And nobody can totally understand what you’ve been through…..
It's sadly often at this most critical time , when you need support the most , you can find yourself completely alone ! There was always the worry that this showdown would occur , and now it has you have to muster all your strength to get through it , but staying calm , silent , vigilant and carefully protecting yourself , only defending yourself when utterly necessary ! They are angry because you have dared to challenge their superiority on every level , they are inflamed with rage and deeply insulted , and will think NOTHING of trying to demolish your life ! Their mission is to belittle you and teach you a lesson by proving the point that they AND ONLY THEY can win ! However ,..this is a FAKE reality !!! They think they control your life and your world , but THEY DON'T ! Your mission is to use whatever means you have to cut them off , shut them up and send them packing ! Stay strong , stay focused , .and although they will NEVER admit it , you will beat them and win 🙏♥️ it out !
Big H? = "H-eart vs "Eart-h"?
We’ve won just in not being like them. They play foul. We don’t
Narc pain is real , you dont even know it is happening , very scary
Absolutely. I did everything for the clown with a crown. He eroded all my most cherished friends. He beat me, he cheated, he’d interrogate me all night for merely looking at another guy. (Usually ugly old men) Even though nobody much liked him. When I finally woke up, I had everyone against me. Including my own children. But then they slowly woke up and realized they had been totally had. Just as you said. He was on his best behavior. He’d cry, victim. Pathetic child/wife beater.
Glad you're free
Get away and STAY away for yourself and your children. None of you need to suffer anymore. No matter how much he begs, pleads, and cry, and fake remorse, he is and will always be the same if not worse. You deserve better, and being with him won't be. You know what you went through and how you felt. Why go back?.
@@ritamccormick5244 Thanks Rita. Never ever will. Ever.
Thank you, nice to know Im not alone.
Grow strong women!!
Yes, that is one of the worst parts, knowing what they are, but every body else do not see it. I had to learn not trying to convince others, because you are accused off being hatefull or hurt. Yes i Was hurt, but i would never lye or tell bad things iff they where not true. The worst thing is when people you love do not see it, or do not want to see them for what they are. I have young adult children and i have learned to not speak what i think, even though it would be better when they knew, but they are not ready to accept what their father is. They use the same excuses that i used until he showed me what he is. I hope one day they will be able to see.
Yes, knowing what they are but also the stress we feel inside knowing others cannot see it, ugggg😰
This is my issue too, my young adult xhildren are being used and manipulted. Our relationships have been damaged so much. This is the most heartbreaking and difficult situation in all of this x
@@natalieharris6130 yes, it breaks your heart as a mother, and there is nothing you can do but to hope and wait.❤
I had the same with my adult son, don't forget the children were in the FOG as you were. Trust me they WILL get it eventually. Just be there ready to catch them . Stay strong, good things will come from this mess👍
Be Good to Yourself. ❤
I did it this way 15 years ago, intuitively, but I couldn't believe it's really like this, until someone like you put it into the words. Really diabolic. I've got a mega hoover 2 years ago and withstood. Now getting huge education and processing. It feels like walking out of the fog and still cannot believe what you see.
Yep. I was completely blindsided by all of them
Believe it. It's VERY real.
P. D. Son of a covert mother and a ouvert dad. Don't doubt. They exist. And they will never change.
Stay strong
They've betrayed themselves so it's natural they'll betray you. Another great insight Paula thank you. Stand still, stand straight stay calm and quiet, don't feed the wolves, excellent words....
The fact that you have carried on living your life without them can be enough to enrage them into seeking revenge ! They may not be smiling anymore ,..but they are STILL the assassin , so be very , VERY careful , guys ! 🙏🙏♥️
You hit it out the park! Kudos! Those who are in a relationship with a narcissist, know your triggers…know what it takes to get an emotional response (narcissistic supply). Grey rock is the defense. Block the narcissistic and flying monkeys… NO CONTACT. Use the time to look in the mirror and find your old self.
Excellent video! No reaction is the key! If can’t avoid contact, pause and RESPOND, short and dry. DO NOT REACT…. “RESPOND.”
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After living with a narcissistic ex- for 15 years, I finally realized that he was crazier than me any day of the week. I've been divorced from him for over 40 years now but only discovered the concepts of npd and empaths just a few years ago in my late 60s. I was shocked to learn that I had been surrounded by narcs since birth. There was no internet/TH-cam in the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s ...
I'm staying quiet throughout my divorce process with my soon to be ex husband. I am blessed that I have a great support system. My husband's parents are actually siding with me. Some of his friends are too. They see what he did. And what he did was horrible and it was planned with his new supply. Both are trying to take me down. Because we have 3 children (1 profoundly disabled) I use the grey rock method with him. We barely communicate and when we do, it via text, I keep it short and I prefer texting to keep records of what is said. Thank you Paula for your wonderful video.💛
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Thank you for your teaching! Imagine living 35 plus years with a narcissist! Rewiring the mind and focusing on self and my goals is my focus!
Sad to say 26 years here
My poor Mom sacrificed her Life for 60 Years for my 3 sib INGRATES!
I always thought it was Dad, with so many early head injuries, + Football 3 years, pre Pearl Harbor and ⚓Boxing Squad. -> Plus, Horrifying WAR TRAUMAS and Other, 😭 Atrocities! It's Not my Dad's GOP, that's for sure!!
Rarely seeing these Nazi Creeps since, 1965 and 1972.
Putting a 500,000+ Pc. JIGSAW Puzzle, back together; is NOT what I'd planned for my Senior, and/or Half a "Golden Year"?, + s?, IF -> I can earn* what's been $tolen!!
I must be Related to the most ignorant, Greedy ppl in the 🌎.
WTF, Red and Blue! - I'll go with White for Honor and integrity.
Proud to be an (Indep.) for 42 Years! - If, mostly, at 💜 - Just Over lack of Job Opportunities! 1980.
~ The "RUST BELT," for Over 60 Years!
30 years. I'm blessed to be alive.
Sept îles Québec Canada
45 here
That's why I have never called her out on being a covert narcissist, that gives me the upper hand, and she almost becomes predictable, and yes I always knew something was off, but I just ignored it and I would doubt myself.
Yes i never called him out either i educated myself on these demons i now laff when iv predicted his nxt move and it happens it validates everything iv learned on these channels 🙌🙏
@@maggiemcdonald3185 exactly we learn to control our emotions, and see it for what it is, may God continue to bless us.
Absolutley , from complete confusion 2 being miles ahead now is just bliss , praise God 🙏 God bless you brother 🙏
@@Thegamehhh449 why are you still with her if I may ask despite knowing she's a covert narcissist and what they do?
I surround myself with people from group #3. They know the truth. I have no use for anyone who is swayed by anything my ex-husband (narc) says. I have cut those people out of my life including former family. Move forward, it seems insurmountable at first but you will get through. What you're experiencing is normal given the circumstances! My heart goes out to anyone who has been or is going through this. Just know there is an end in sight. Believe in yourself and surround yourself with people who believe in you not the demonic spirit
The smear campaign is an excellent screening tool for the victim. Anyone believing the narc can have em!
Thank you
Thank you for sharing. It's exactly what's been happening to me. I could tell no one, because they were all in some or other way entangled to the narc. Family, friends and co workers. Everybody wanted to believe the worst in me while I knew everything that was said and done against me came from 2 jealous people. In 15 yrs they turned so many people against me and I could not explain or defend myself against them. All I could do was sit and watched, prayed and knew God was seeing everything and that comforted me. God was the only reason
And comfort, which helped me to get out of that network of lies en deceit. I visualised that God was walking beside me all the time. I prayed and God comforted me. He sent Angels, especially Angel Michael, to protect me and I started to feel safe again. I felt abandomed from everybody even some of my family. I prayed that God have to fight my battles for me. I asked the Angels to protect me and help me when I felt sick and they did. I read my Bible and prayed and still do, and got my messages from God in His Word. I started to really believe
That God was helping me through all the difficult times I went through and I just started getting better and better. For about a year and a half I am feeling more happy, I am returning to be my old self again, a side of myself I lost by
All the evil that was done to me. Thank God for his Grace he pulled me through. God really exists and I wish to tell the unbelievers "change your ways" .
Good for you. My experience too. I am learning at last to trust in
spirit and give myself to the divine light to guide me on my life's journey and so glad Spirit took the trouble to rescue me. Namaste ❤🙏
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Jealousness is a trap and a source of pain. Decoding that emotion is the begin of salvation.
Good point. We need to feel indifference towards them
My mother is a Narcissist and I've been abused by her practically all my life. However, the tables are turning. She has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and because I've been caring for my Dad who has the same disease, I've been placed in a very vicarious situation. All the people from family and her friends are seeing that every thing she has said to discredit me as a good son is started to fall apart. They all listened to her lies but I stayed the path of truth. A very lonely road...
I stand at the gate and am being prepared to walk through to do what I'm able to offer care in her time of need. Despite the fact of being castigated, slandered, doors slammed in my face, I stand in the wings to do what I will. Not because I'm her son but rather a demonstration of Grace in action.
If I'm chosen for this undertaking, it will be more challenging than my Dad. Say a prayer for me....ONE
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@@johnhays8202 take it easy John,look after yourself in this difficult process. You are a model son for doing this difficult job
under the circumstances. Give yourself a big hug and take care.
@@leonasweny1525 I appreciate your encouragement! Thank you. In this moment, I really need to take a nap. So much to do today but my body and mind says rest.
Thanks again. Blessings..
They self project their own inadequacies and failings on to you to control and keep you down and guessing. Stay true and stromg in your own core self and beliefs and run for the hills if you can, never looking back.
My ex started telling me quite quickly in our relationship that I was very defensive, I didn't know what she meant cos I didn't think I was, she was 6 years older so I trusted her opinion, then I was called a liar, once again I wasn't but she convinced me otherwise, I'm now thinking even that early on she was projecting things about herself. Evil evil woman.
A male massage is did this too me. He was inappropriate and knew I was going to say something - but he had already smeared me to my chiropractor and other people in the office - so when I reported him they all stood up for him as me being inappropriate to him. True narcissistic playbook moves.
Creepy. Yeah I would avoid all male chiropractic massage “clinics” - speaking from experience 🙄🤦♀️
@@goldilocks3593 he moved right across the street from me and he watches my house and I saw him filming me with his phone saying I was stalking him. The police do nothing
I was raised by a psychotic Narcissist who was my step-father from the time I was a baby: who himself had been raised in a very male oriented, misogynistic culture. He dominated EVERYONE around him! Miraculously I survived my infancy: at one point later in my life my grandmother told me that he had tried to end my existence! I always had an instinctive knowing as I was growing up that he was a liar, and that he was dangerous. He was very charismatic and DIABOLICAL! Looking back on my life, there were a number of times I believe he tried to have me eliminated. I grew up learning, first hand, all the mind manipulating tactics of a psychotic Narcissist! It was a lifelong battle for my sanity!
When I was a young adult and had finally gotten out of that house---I was so determined to understand WHY HE HATED ME when I had done nothing to deserve it, so I asked a CHILDHOOD friend of HIS, why: and he told me that my step-father never liked HIMSELF, which was very enlightening and the absolute truth about Narcissists: they loath themselves and have no core identity!
I always knew he was the problem, but my covert mom trained me to help abusive people out. It's my job to fix others and I was. A perfect victim. It wasn't until I literally had to.leave, due to his drug use, that I moved out. Now I'm processing how he robbed me of my relationships with my daughters by smearing me day dot. Trying not to spiral into anger but to heal myself. Thanks Paula, you are truly a godsend. 🤗
When I tried to reach out to friends to talk to them about what happening, they didn’t believe this wasn’t happening, the other person was so nice, mayby I need to get over it, i felt alone, nobody new but me. They know what there doing, be quiet, let it backfire on them, GOD HAS A WAY OF STEPPING IN, and COUCHES LIKE YOU!!!
I knew nothing about narcissism till I met one about 10 years ago. He seemed to be a nice guy. Not, I'm glad that the awareness of this has increased. I have always been a 'strong' person so I was completely unaware of how much damage they inflict. thanks for your channel
I still can’t wrap my head around the narc not knowing they are doing all of this???
Me neither I didn’t know such evil exist
I don't trust myself alone with a narcissist when no one is watching
One of the oddest things is that , although my narc has long gone , I can still often hear their omnipotent opinion in my head on virtually everything that I do . That's the moment I can smile and remind myself that their opinions don't count anymore 😎❤️🙏🥳
That's one of the wonderful things I love about non narcissistic people.They don't feel the need to perpetually micro manage, force feed unsolicited advice on us, "constructively criticise" us & nit pick at us every waking minute of their lives.
@@carpathianken Those infamous words ' I'm only thinking of what's right for YOU ' 🤔🤨😆😆😜
You are free
@@thebigh9324 Yes, narcissists love using the "I was only trying to help you" excuse for their control freak tendencies & if you tactfully try to set a boundary by saying that you only want advice from them when you ask them for it, in my experience they blow up & call me a know it all.
Tell that voice to shut up.. And listen to your voice the one that's quite quiet but there, it'll get louder in time and the narcs voice will slowly be silenced.. Good luck.. Namaste 🙏 this advice on the voice of the narc in the head is from Dr. Proffesser Sam Vaknin, who at this procise moment has developed a modal to help people with npd and mental problems has a seminar right now coming up in Romania 🇷🇴 for all the Doctors out there and anyone interested in it, as it can help all of us to know more about this insidious mental heath problems and to be educated helps us to understand more about the subject and will help us to heal as well.. In this field of mental health.. Cluster b. Just letting people know. Namaste 🙏
Peace ✌️ and happiness
They can believe what they want. Me and God know the truth, and that's all that matters to me. Thank you Paula.
My intuition told me in the beginning...something was "off". In the end you find there is no way to emotionally connect. It's always your fault also...always.
Thank you sister for your videos🔥♥️
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What a mess. You are helping me so much. Because the betrayal part is so awful.
Incredibly painful. It gets easier.
You don't say a word your character will show good people who you really are. Just keep your mouth shut and if people ask you about negative things say nothing and walk away. They have been smearing you a little for a long time because the narcissist is afraid you will find out who they really are. Say nothing.
💯 Saying absolutely nothing is the strongest statement you can make. Let your character (and theirs) speak for itself.
Amen Ed
Doing that now with covert narc husband and his enmeshed family cult system I stood up to in order to protect my children when husband refused to and he threw me under the bus when I confronted his mother about her behavior towards my children. I have gone no contact with the inlaws and been gray rock with him.
To say nothing is to say everything. The conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words.
It finally comes out. Everyone finally sees what a nutcake my Golden Sister must have been for all those years. And why this little one ran away as fast as possible!
I lost all of my connections and now I know where I stand. Happy alone verses continual betrayal. God brings my justice and I keep moving forward.
Extremely validating . It is an attack on your very spirit and the essense of who we are . It comes through the cracks of the armor of unsuspecting people as she clearly indicated by saying these types appeal to the narcissism in others like greed or pride , and they also find vulnerable types to manipulate with humor and charm or similar interests being seemingly useful but having no real regard for others or honesty, as in , full on truth. They can pull on heartstrings of people who are well meaning but their very lack of humanity towards those who care the most for them is the most hostile subtle thing that can not be understood or even comprehended by those with no reference point. The gang stalking cult-like group think tank of VILIFICATION and dismissal is a sight to behold. The removal of absolutely everyone from your life even those who are distantly loosely associated with the narcs and flying monkeys , in order to preserve your own life , can not be over stated enough. A demonized empty vessel sounds accurate as one commented here or perhaps more accurate might be the simple statement from a very wise man who said at my fathers funeral " sin has its punishment " and that is just exactly the repulsion john the baptist exhibited towards the brood of vipers , as he called them coming up over the hill. There are appearances and then there is the way things are and will be. We were simply warned . Thank God for your escape and do not fully trust ppl , guard yourself and your heart. All our needs will be supplied.
I don't know what I would do without these informative videos. They keep me strong. Thank you. 💗
Paula, I'm grateful for your sharing this information with us. I've been dealing with flying monkeys and knew they had an agenda. Thanks for explaining this smearing phenomenon so clearly, you've helped me understand what was going on. No one has ever come forward to tell me what was said. Paula, you're a blessing! Thank you for providing the strategies to overcome these demonic vessels from the underworld. This education is so valuable. I wish I had known this 2 decades ago! ❤💕
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Thank you Paul for this eye opening and true talk. Sadly this is my family. I'm the bad guy, mental issues and so on. The only thing that matters is that I know the truth.
Yes, what matters is that you know the truth. God bless you 🙏🙂💝
Yes the truth is the truth and no matter what, hold onto that - God saw everything and one day, they will reap what they've sown, a full portion. You've sown in turmoil and tears ....God also saw your suffering and He will bring you through this and out the other side - stand strong! God bless.
There is “Power in the Truth!”.. it’s Freeing!!🙏🙏💔🆘🚫😈🙌🙌🙌📖🎚👑🕊🕊🕊
Exactly what my husband done to me with my family and his own family he completely isolated me from everyone and tortured me for years thank you so much for your advice I'm so grateful to you
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My narcissistic husband will try to ture my family against me but I know what he is they already went no contact. He not aloud to any family party’s not because he hurt me but because he insulted my narcissistic mother and my narcissistic brother .
One of the main things that makes narcs SO dangerous is that they will NEVER admit they have a condition ! Therefore whenever they do something horrendous to you in THEIR mind it will always be valid , because they think they are all knowing and the holders if the real truth ! Most people who suffer from some kind of mental health condition will usually admit to their issues to others , but NEVER the narcissist !
They live in a constant state of denial that they can ever be wrong , so any vile act they might do to you will be perfectly justified in their mind ! Glenn Close's character in Fatal Attraction could easily been a narcissist , that's how damaged , deluded and blindly vengeful they can be when they feel wronged or rejected !!
13 years never sorry or wrong.
Wasn’t she a Psychopath??!! A Scary Lady in that movie??!! 😤😡😰🚫😈🙏🙏🙏
Currently dealing with my narc mother in law. She lived with us for almost three years (immigrated from Cuba) and I saw many red flags but I didn’t trust my intuition very much for a while until my father in law stayed with us too. I had a front raw sit to her manipulation and abuse. For a time I was trying to understand and justify it with her childhood trauma but I realized that she enjoyed his suffering more than anything. I saw the evil inside of her.
She admitted she likes to have him as a door mat and he’s beyond any help at this point. She has degraded him so much he’s a zombie.
Now, my husband and I agreed she could stay with us for a month once again to pick up her stuff and move to another place.
She asked me if she could talk to me for a moment yesterday and I immediately had a gut feeling. I knew what she was about to do. She wants to stay for longer. The conversation started with how hurt she is that I don’t include her and that I treat her like she doesn’t exist etc etc, cried some tears and then! Started gaslighting, manipulating and LYING.
I’m grateful for my intuition because I have learned to detect the narcs and can now pick up a lie or a tactic like that in a second. It’s true that many people will look at us and think we’re exaggerating. It’s ok, it’s enough that we know and we can stay away to protect ourselves 🙌🏻
Loving ourselves and others is how we win this battle of good vs evil ❤️
Most balanced Wisdom to date..having experienced it...using our child as a pawn additionally.
It is my situation but I am out now. It is hard when others believe the narcissistic twit. I will move on. Thanks for helping me.
I am in this particular position paula. They are just relentless. Thank you so much for making this content.
Love your content it is helpful. Narcissistic behavior caused me so much pain and damage. God has helped me with this but getting the knowledge and wisdom is very important. Thank you so very much.
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Hi Paula thank you with all my heart for this information it's never too late thank you God bless you
The narc I have to deal with has not made me doubt myself, etc. My main challenge is to still my angry gut feeling. Even if I’m not near narc, I now understand that my anger is a deposit into their bank account. I have to reach the point that I really don’t get angry. Lies dance around in my head. I’m asking God to neutralize and eliminate those lies from my head.
Thanks so much Paula. You give such an accurate, detailed and articulate description of these sub humans. 💕
My relationship was only 5-6 months before we mutually discarded. The mask came off the last month and he hid it so well. I knew the Narc signs from researching a relationship 6 years prior but the Narcs are getting smarter because of Narcissistic awareness and social media.
However, the recover has been so severe and painful. Seems like you settle into a deep dark hole after it’s over. Much different type of recovery from my regular breakups. There has to be a demonic force without a doubt.
I can relate to that feeling of darkness and emptiness afterwards
One month?
For those having this wonderful amazing woman advising and helping to decipher your reality and a Narc's delusional way of life please keep listening in order to learn what has happened, help to walk through and overcome this devastating chapter that is not your fault at all. Rise above what happened. Go on with your own life that any Narc by then doesn't have any hold on. Heal from the turmoil. Say nothing more to anyone. Live no contact with that disaster always looking to destroy what/who they can. After all, we end up having something money cannot buy and no one can give. (peace) can not be defined. It is no drama, no toxicity, no boss, a place where there is clarity.
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I have been through all of this. Four years later and still in the divorce courts with the narcissist. Left my family and some friends behind. My father was very misogynistic and abusive growing up and guess who his best friend was….the ex husband narcissist. To this day they are all part of the dysfunction that I crawled out of. When I educated myself because I was on my knees the penny dropped and I knew what I had and would be going through. Fear was running the show as I was left with nothing but two kids to bring up alone. Not many people understand what it’s like but you have explained it too a T..
Uaaau! Same here.
When I divorced... my father (overt n) and my ex (covered n) BONDED EVEN STRONGER! 🤣🤣🤣
My mother (as always) didn't want to see/listen/protect me... She is also still (and even more than before) playing the flying monkey rolle to my ex. 🤦♀️
Things got clear with me learning about narcissism: who is who in the zoo. 😉😀 Before... I dared not 'see' who/what my parents were... now I can see 👀 clear and lound how and why I was treated as I was in my primary 'family'.
Iiiiii loooooove uuuuu, my Human Empatic Loving Family! 🤗
Thank you all YT-narc-educators, you SAVED my life - I am back in sanity and power and selflove - more than ever before! 💛💛💛✊💪🌞
@@irenahabe2855 sending love and best wishes to you to my lovely human family. You are never the same nor can you ever go back to being the same, your loss of naivety is replaced with something stronger. All the best peace ✌️
I hope life is good now ,you did the right thing.❤
I call that Web. The spider and the fly.,It's how I felt. He was the spider. Thanks for the video it explains 43 years of literal horror. Sadly one of our children is dying and he has come back into my life. I took it for a few weeks but decided today to block him and spend what time I can loving my son. We have 6 children and most are like their father. What power does a narcissist have. Well it's from the devil. Thankfully I spend a lot of time with God who is my rock and strength and yes, I have always known there was something off about him, but years of living with him I started believing the problem was myself. I know very well my faults and failings. They cannot he healed, even God can't do anything to help someone that thinks and believes they're perfect
So sorry 🌹🌹
Same here.
Divirced, two teenage kids, shared custody... One of them (specially) is getting to copy the father-narcs strategies, manipulations, bullying, passive aggressivenes, gaslighting, word salad... 🤦♀️🙆🏻♀️🤷♀️
And I am observing this, understanding what is going on... sad and powerless over this child (who can - When he Chooses - be a brilliant boy and a very pleasant, wise companion).
This is one of the best videos on narcissists I've heard .. thank you so
You are so welcome
Definitely knew that something was wrong with the narc day one. Through some magical thinking I dismissed it. I was ignorant to narcissism
This is so exact to what they do. Your advice as always is excellent. Make it a clean break & end the drama. "There is nothing more to be said", is the perfect way to end this, and it's so true.
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Thank goodness I made a clean break I am free since 12/12 2021 an I feel good yall
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Thank you for helping me better understand what I was living with. And i was beginning to think i was the problem. That I am the narcissist. But i do have empathy for others. I do care. And i did love. But i was living a lie. Now I understand why I hurt so much. And yes I’ll be stronger from my experience with my narcissist. To learn from my mistakes
That's what they told you to wash your brain, don't give a shit . Keep it working on yourself, you will see the difference in your own life soon.❤
Observe don't absorb don't absorb nothing they say at all, once you know you go you get out and you stay out, take anything they say like a grain of salt 🧂 their nothing but mental cases this is why they call them predators
She was well into narc videos. When I started watching and learning she told me to not waste my time on it.
i pray to have the right heart realizing i have been part of the problem. i dont mind being alone. yes its more peacful. usually i stay home..maybe some fishing.. God is at work. Yet people have to know this because they are trapped too. God help us.
Paula thank you 💚💚🙏 for just existing and being such a good person in this world. For helping me time and time again.
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It's hard standing strong and firm when I feel so alone sometimes. But I've started turning to faith in God for my spiritual strength. I'm starting to create boundaries, but it's taken me literally years.
Father was brother is a narcissist and what has struck me the most is the anger, meanness, and almost no friends. That no friends one is a huge red flag that we ignore.
Thank you so much Paula, spot on and what vile toxic creatures that they are... ❤
This is so helpful. Thank you
Glad it was helpful!
I have been through this for 3 years. Everything you say is correct. My son is confirmed overt and his girl is covert. They have done everything they can to destroy me. It all started with his covert girlfriend. They begged me to move in to a big house with them. They only wanted my furniture and furnishings.
There is no need to say, "I don't want to talk about that subject." Just change the subject without making a big point about it. If asked further, be perplexed or confused or slightly distracted or uninformed. Talk about something else. Be uninformed about the narc or whatever topic is being vetted. Add nothing, other than "hmmm" or "I don't know." The target's reaction is being watched closely. The reaction should be no reaction, mindless. This approach is more authentic to how people react to topics that are genuinely not important to them. They just drift to another subject.
I went through this SO hard and lost my family. The covert narc used me to get a job with my family and in a small town where the entire town became flying monkeys. I had to move and still feel so betrayed and hurt by my family.
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Couldn't admit it to my self!!
I can see narcs now thanks to everyone’s educational videos. Best gift I’ve ever received❤️. It was a painful learning curve but well worth it. Take good care of you, you deserve love and respect and kindness and fun. You’re gonna have to stand up for yourself. Sending you much love and light ❤️
I always felt that there was something “off” because he was very self righteous
Thank you for your channel. I've seen so many phycologists and none of them had any idea what I was describing, the pain I've been in or even cared. They made it seem it's my problem and made me question everything about myself and offered me drugs instead. My sister who's also a victim of my mother's violent narcissistic abuse has Stockholm syndrome.
So thankful for this channel 🙏
Thank you for this Paula. It’s another piece of the puzzle. I can now look back and see how my narc was laying the groundwork for the discard months in advance.
This is all true. They become more dangerous when they feel threatened by the fact that you are becoming aware. It is really good advise not to react to their gaslighting and smear campaigns since it gives the opportunity to make you look bad. I was divorced as a single parent which made it very hard and my ex and family took full advantage of that. I finally moved far away but one thing I have noticed is that they never forget about you and continue to try and interfere in your life. Videos like this are lifesavers.
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"people of the undergrowth" 🤣🤣🤣💖💖💖💖
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😂Spot on!
I just feel i want to give you a hug, you have energi of my mom and i just feel how good person you are ❤️
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Yes, I felt something was off with my mom but she was stronger. I began to blame myself with alot of guilt. Now I see clearly extremely clear. My sister doesn't speak to me she is on the narcissist’s side. She wants the $ that's provided.
You are a walking blessing sharing these really valuable teachings! I was a victim and I still battling to get over off my ex narcissist.
I can't thank you enough. Listening to this my heart rose for joy. I will keep this information with me at all times.
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My narc was supportive and helpful but the second I said that a particular behaviour or comment was hurtful to me, she would go into full defence mode: gaslighting, blaming circumstances, claiming that she was misunderstood and I wasn't listening to her, anything but asking for me to clarify, giving empathy let alone apologising.
Step by step, pull back then WOOSH, you disappear and never look back.
This is a new revelation ,right NOW ,
in the progression of abuse from this
N M. Decades yes DECADES of the only one knowing the hell the torture . You are here for me NOW AND I THANKYOU
for validating what this torture was and still is in a LIFETIME , of victim knowing and not knowing.
Everyone close, the WHOLE FAMILY COMMUNITY (very large family of origin, and a very close community)
NOT ONE NOT ONE! NOT A SINGLE ONE,
Ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever
helped me . No one validated what was going on , not even in a little way to say , yes i KNOW what she’s doing to you . She is bad.
I’m going to be 70! And she is STILL
SUCKING LIFE FORCE in 90s.
I THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY BROKEN LIFE,
My BROKEN HEART
THANK YOU FOR LOVING US , and validating the Victims .
Can anyone answer this question,
Why did it take THIS LONG for the therapeutic Community and our Culture catch up?
I have rage inside that MY WHOLE LIFE
YES MY WHOLE FRKIN LIFE I SEARCHED
FOR ANY ANSWERS TO : REVEAL THE TRUTH, and NO WHERE I TRAVELED AND NOWHERE I WENT FOR HELP
FOR THE ACTUAL TRUTH OF THIS LIE ever answered this .
Only Now!
Why oh why did it take this LONG??????
And now this EXPLOSION of smart “right on “ information????
That is an interesting question:why has it taken this long to identify these types of people? Maybe five years ago I looked up on Google, "the silent treatment," since that was what my husband would use on me until I'd be the one who would come to him to get the relationship back on track. Never would he come to me unless it was a lecture or ultimatum. Now I know what he is. It's good to learn now anyways, right? I hope you find peace, dear lady. I read the Psalms alot and throw my needs up to God. Take care, be strong! ❤️🌹
Sam Vaknin will answer your question. He's the author of Malignant selflove. Narcissism revisited. Look for his videos. And stay strong.
for two reasons: 1. there a narc epidemic ongoing 2. people were afraid to talk about it because it looks crazy for those who don’t experienced it.
Don’t watch Sam Vaknin, he’s a narc he will confuse you.
20:15 I wouldn't be hoovered back into a friendship situation after being betrayed by someone that allied themselves with a narcissist in a hate campaign against me.
There would be no trust & without trust there'd be no peace.
Thank you for what you do I love how comprehensive and through your content is
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Yes sadly this is the case and are probably reading this right now. Stalking frequently, pushed me out of my job and continue to do their vile work on me. I cannot go walking as I get followed. Been shot at thro an open window with air pellet that nearly hit my eye. Had windows frequently tapped on early hours of the morning during lockdown. Nearly had my car taken out. Been glared at by random folk I've never met before. They have even got children involved with glaring and encourage them to do it infont of me if I'm seen in local store. Weekly for 3 years now and more I've been what can only be described as gang stalking I believe its called. An ex displaying his and his sons perfect new set up and making it known in anyway he can. They have already turned inward and documenting everything to police. They live so close I hear them rowing and throwing each other under the bus. Its vile and sick and has cost me everything. Your videos are spot on and I'm shocked at how predictable they must all be. If only I had found you years ago Xx
I know how you feel, however it’s Never too late to turn your entire Life around!!!! Focus on yourself only!! Embrace your Struggles and Blessings will follow!!! That I know for sure!!!! I’ve been thru so much Narc Abuse, and have come to realize I am a Good Person and had too take a deeper look into myself to find out why I have attracted sooo many of these Demonic beings!!!! God will give you the Test before the lessons, if you keep flunking the test. The lessons will keep coming until you pass the Test!!!! Believe Me I flunked many test before I finally passed the lessons!!! I am so Grateful for having such Awful Experiences,, it’s made Me who I’m am today!!!! Stay Strong and Believe In Your self!!! You will Get thru this!!!! Love and Light To You!!!!😇
Very sad, I pray to god you get out of your situation and find peace.
Still going on sadly but thankyou.
What kind of evil people involve children? Must be about money.
Be at peace,they will expose themselves. 💛
Thank you for sharing this information. It came the right time. My daughter and her son which is my grandson has this problem you are describing, Narcissist. I see all the symptoms but I didn't know it is a Narcissist. I am a great believer of God and I have been praying and ask Him for wisdom and knowledge how to deal with them. I stopped sharing anything to my daughter. Her son, which is my grandson has all these signs of Narcissist plus he is a schizophrenia. He is very evil and have been bully me,and his mother doesn't do anything, but enabling him and he also disrespectful to his mother and very jealous of my relationship with his mother. His father is in jail since he was born. I got to the point where I don't look at him or say anything. He will answer with a rude spirit or he doesn't say anything. I am moving to be with my younger daughter, because he has been disrespectful to me etc. I can tell he wants me to move out. I'm moving out to be with my other daughter. I don't care what my daughter says to her uncle and auntie from her dad's side, because I know who am I. She likes to gossip about me to her side of the family to make herself looks good and paint me as a bad person. I can tell by their behavior toward me. They talk on the phone, but stop asking about how Am I doing ? I know she has done her vile work in the family to win them to her side. I don't care about that. Infact, I have peace with in my mind and heart. I stopped sharing anything to my daughter she and her son both have a spirit of jealousy towards me, I keep my distance away from her son..
So happy I found you 🙏 Everything you say in your video's is happening to me. It's so cliché everything. It's difficult to accept but also a blessing that I finally know now. He is a text book narc like mindblowing.
I am so very glad to have found you and your videos. I am three months on my own. It's quiet and peaceful. I can come and go and sleep when I want. Nobody to make me feel useless. I can relax. You are the most thoughtful, sensible, soft-spoken, lovely woman and I truly rely on hearing you and following your advice. I still have many thoughts of all the rotten smearing he has done for years with everyone. I wish there was a way to tell them all the truth about him. But, I will not try. Best to keep quiet, keep away from hom and listen to your good advice. Thank you so much for being there for all of us who need you.
The way you live your life Brenda will shout the truth, those that are in the light will see and understand 🌹
Excellent video. The narc is a selfish hedonistic creature. The narc is a miserable exhausting waste of your time. Walk in the light. You need to stay away from them. Stay active in your own interests Walk music movies God find genuine people to share your time with be happy and healthy. Find indifference and forget about the narc relationship .TIME will heal your heart and mind from the torture of narc abuse. You can rebuild but the narc will always be rotten and useless. God bless
"People of undergrowth"😂 I love that Paula!
I refuse to engage with her now! She has tried to start arguments, and all she gets back is silence from me! I will only answer her or talk to her if it’s about our son! And even then it’s the bare minimum, even just one word answers from me at times! She hates it!! Yet it was fine when she did it to me when she had isolated me, and ghosted me for weeks, when I was desperately trying to save our marriage!!
Thank you so much for your videos. I have gone through a very tough time...i had no help, no support and guidance whatsoever and i ended up making so many blunders. Good enough i landed on these videos and they have helped me alot get back up! Thank you so much
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