Hey everyone! If this video was helpful for you or you're looking for more encouragement as a single Christian, I just did another video talking about singleness that you can check out here: th-cam.com/video/4U628vQzd4k/w-d-xo.html. God bless! 🙌
You're only 23 and have so much of life ahead of you. I'm 64 and still singe. Imagine my emotions and the tens of questions that I have. However, I hear you! You mentioned much of the thoughts and questions that I've had. Church does nothing to assist singles. It's family-oriented and singles are like the cast out crowd. Sad.
I can only imagine how you must feel Sonique. My prayer is that the church does better in this area for people of all generations. I appreciate your vulnerability, and I pray that God blesses you with a relationship soon!
Sonique, like I shared in an earlier comment I am 67 and been single for most all of my life. I am curious from a woman's perspective how you have dealt with things like no companionship and no intimacy. I had a dark time of my soul in my 40s and 50s. But lately I've had peace about my state maybe because of surrendering my struggles to Christ! But it's been a tough journey. Btw they say women handle singleness better than men. I don't know if I believe that or not. I don't have any women friends who are single and my age.
I’m 28 and still have yet to have a real relationship, I appreciate your honesty in this difficult circumstance. Even though I get it, it’s hard to constantly hear how singleness is a “gift” when it sure doesn’t feel like it.
It's especially frustrating when the ones telling you that singleness is a gift are in a relationship themselves. It's like, "You're not wrong, but that's not what I want to hear from you right now" lol. And I appreciate your honesty too! As I've said in other comments, the storm of singleness is easier to weather when you know you have brothers and sisters in Christ who are weathering it with you. I'm praying that God blesses you with a godly relationship soon!
Hey folks, 67 and single and celibate! Been this way most of my life. I used to struggle so much feeling left out, but came to realize I'm not left out, just in a different category. Now I understand why I won't be married; it's best for me to remain single.
I'm 34 and am the last of my siblings/ friend group not married. It's even worse when you realize that all of the Christians your age are already taken...like, missed the window of opportunity and there are literally no single Christians left in my age group. Online dating is soul crushing, how do you meet anyone IRL? churches don't minister to older singles( probably cause they are such a rarity) But God can do anything, of course. So I keep on hoping. Keep searching, don't give up, cause it gets harder the older you get.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. All I can say is my heart goes out to you and I'm hoping alongside you that you get to meet the one God has for you soon. I just said a prayer for you, and I hope you feel God's peace today!
I feel your pain, at tiems is frustrating I am single I live in NYC and sometimes is just fristrating even the idea to go out. However I believe you have a lot of chances to get marry. You are pretty, a woman of God. You are full of qualities. Don't give up.
Oh man, you hit the nail on the head with this comment- I can relate 100%! It sometimes feels like us older singles simply don't exist within the church, or more likely, we don't tend to advertise this reality because it can be a bit embarrassing. But God is indeed sovereign over all things, so although I struggle with singleness, I do not despair. I know that ultimately, true fulfillment is found in Christ alone. :)
Also, 34, almost 35...not settling, waiting in the dessert. Keeping focused, doing what I need to do, learning what I need to learn....but some days get tough. I just keep reminding myself that it's better to be single than married and miserable. Marriage is beautiful, but it's also hard, and you want to marry the right person to navigate through lifes joys and challenges. God knows, and in His perfect timing...I know we will be grateful we waited. He's working behind the scenes in the meantime.
Im 24 and will be 25 soon ...I've been to a christian college and haven't even dated yet or been in a real relationship. I can see why God didn't allow me get into a relationship then but...as i grow m relationship with Christ ...its tiring fighting with the emotions everyday.
I hear you. Fighting emotions isn't always hard, but when it's a battle you have to fight every day, it becomes tiring (which makes the battle harder). Praying that God gives you strength during this season and that He blesses you with a relationship soon!
As a Single 36y old (in the next few days) men I feel you Brother. I'm very aware of the ticking clock, I'm oldest (or just about) and single dude in my small group.... (3 other couples all on their 2nd or more child) it an on going job of seeking God in this season and no dwelling on what could be. Granted if I'm honest , I'm probable not ready and/or I haven't found the Women that makes me over come my natural Introverted tendency. Truth can Hurt but God is Good.
Thanks for sharing John. I appreciate the way you model patience and trust in your singleness for us younger singles. I'm always grateful to hear from those who are ahead of me in life who are willing to share their experiences and the wisdom God has given them, so truly thank you for commenting! I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God blesses you with a godly wife soon!
I´m 29 right now and i´m learning this as i write this... The most powerfull thing i´ve learned is that we should learn to let God include us in HIS plans and not the other way around
Absolutely Luis! He knows better than we do. Waiting on God's timing and provision is simple in theory but hard in execution, but at the end of the day I always trust that His plan is better than mine. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for the video. I'm 39 years old, a couple of months shy of 40. I have Asperger's which is a mild form of autism and I've been single and celibate all my life. No dating in high school or in my twenties. There was one girl in church that I befriended. It looked promising but fell apart very quickly. That was 11 years ago and since then no prospects, nothing. It has become frustrating especially seeing former classmates and most of my cousins get married and have families. Now my brother, who's 5 years younger than I,will be getting married in months. I've prayed several times about this. I can admit that I need to pray more about it, but my frustrations keep getting in the way. I know God loves me and I know I love Him but this is one area of my life where I find myself in a serious wrestling match with Him. Please pray for me. Thank you again for the video.
Thank you for sharing Louis! As a 24 year old it's been hard for me being single for so long, so I can only imagine how hard it's been to have unwanted singleness for nearly 40 years. What sort of ways are you currently trying to meet new people? Are you part of a single's group at church or are you on dating apps/sites? I know meeting people has become harder with the pandemic, but thankfully with modern technology it's still possible. Like you said too, I would continue to pray about it every day. I'll be the first to say that it sometimes feels like my prayers fall on deaf ears, but I trust what scripture says, and scripture says that God hears our prayers and gives us the desires of our heart if we trust in Him. I just said a prayer for you! I hope that 1) God draws you closer to Him during this time, but also 2) that God blesses you with a wonderful woman very soon. God bless!
I am 39 years and probably the closest to getting a girlfriend was in my 20's to a girl who was 3 years younger than me. She was friendly and seemed like the girl next door type. Sadly she was already taken though as someone who had social anxiety, depression; I feel that it wasnt in God's plan more of me wanting a girlfriend to fulfill my sexual needs. Same here with my cousins getting married and having children in their 20's. My younger brother has four children. Least I am glad to be an uncle to my nephews and nieces.
I feel like God drew me to this video. I'm single and have been trying to figure out why God has kept me that way and you gave me some new potential reasons. Thank you very much.
Very, very refreshing to hear this from another man. Majority of those who talk about singleness is women. However, I am 39 year old single Christian man. The clock is ticking way, way louder than I expect. Let's admit it God does NOT care. If He does, He would have done something by now. If singleness is a gift, why am I the one paying for it? If singleness is a gift, what is the return policy?
Hey Bryan! I'm glad my video provided some encouragement for you. To be truthful though, I believe God still greatly cares about your situation. You're older than me, so I understand that you've been living in singleness longer than I have and therefore I can't perfectly empathize with you, but I'm confident that God still cares about your heart. Out of curiosity, what measures have you taken/are you taking to meet people?
Christian my whole life well into my fifties never married no children, to say singleness is hard is a serious understatement. I truly wish the church was a place to turn as a single but it doesn’t seem to be, the church appears inept with the subject. All I can say is if you want to get married and are still young now is the time to get serious about your life. When you are old people might say they care but there will be nothing more.
Dear Brother! What I am feeling you just put it in words so accurately. Indeed, this content was a blessing to me. May you find the one God has for you very soon! JESUS BLESS YOU :)
I’m 24 and I have never been in a relationship. This is so real. All my friends are getting married, engaged and in serious Godly relationships and I am here solo. I did go to Christian college and the grass is not greener on the other side. Good points about contentment. God bless you.
I'm sorry to hear that Linds. It's definitely not easy sometimes. I'm confident though that God has a plan for you! I'm praying that you feel His comfort right now, and that in His perfect timing He provides you with a godly relationship. God bless you as well!
I am 37 and single. I don't spend much time with friends (they don't feel like it). I am depressed and mad at God for my loneliness. I feel abandoned by God. My days are filled with boredom and grief. I have no hope of finding someone.
I'm sorry to hear about how you're feeling Julia. Depression is a beast and I wish you didn't have to go through it. I understand why you're mad at God, but I hope you know that He still loves you and still has a plan for you. I'm praying that even in your loneliness and frustration, you feel His peace and are comforted knowing that He's working for your good. I believe there's still hope for you to find someone, and I hope you can believe that too.
@@JosiahNordquist Thank you! In fact, I was married and now am going through divorce. When I say "I have no hope of finding someone" I mean that I don't feel that I have anything inside me that I could share with a man, that I am not capable of forming and keeping a relationship. I hope that God will heal me. At this point, I feel like I have nothing to share and am afraid of relationships as a potential source of pain.
You're definitely not alone! I made this video to air my own feelings on singleness, so it's very encouraging to me to hear that others feel the same. God sees your hurt and He hears your prayers!
I am a (newly)30 year old woman struggling with singleness. Clock is ticking indeed, and I’m such a shy person, I can’t just charm a man of god in person. You’re getting out there a lot and you’re young, it’s hard not to be a bit envious of you.
I'm sorry to hear about how you're feeling. I obviously can't put myself in your shoes entirely, but I know how hopeless it can feel to be shy and charmless. Is there any environment where you could meet guys yet still feel in your element? Or do you have an outgoing friend who could be your wingwoman? I just said a prayer for you! Praying that God takes away your feelings of hopelessness and allows you to meet a man who honors Him. I appreciate you sharing!
The struggle is real! I've been praying, online dating, volunteering, meeting people etc for the past sixteen years and still don't know why God hasn't opened marriage up to me yet.
Yeah the "why" behind a season of unwanted singleness is maybe the most painful part since it's a question we hardly ever get the answer to. I guess it just means you and I both get to spend extra time building our patience and faith in God's timing lol. Praying that He blesses you with a godly relationship soon!
I got married at 26 and just recently got divorced last year. When I lost my wife God took me down some of the scariest roads that I've never been on to deal with the past I had before I'd even met my wife. I had no self worth, no identity, and was afraid of everything. When I met my future wife that all seemed to just go away.......until the day that she left. Right away all of those old feelings came right back like they'd been waiting right at my door for 17 years. The thing I found out right away is that I had whore'd out my self confidence and identity to another human being. My wife. Without her I found that I had neither on my own which is bad. Secular society TEACHES us that YOU NEED SOMEONE TO COMPLETE YOU. Ironically when that person who "completed" you walks out of your life then society says that you shouldn't give a f*** and love yourself. I never lived on my own. I went straight from my parent's house to married because I was afraid of being alone. I never had a season of true singleness to deal with all of the giants in my life. Sexual urges kill. They really do. Even if you can get past the loneliness the sexual urges are so strong. The truth is that there is so much more to a relationship than sex but that is so hard to see when you get strong urges. In my experience when I reach my wit's end is when God steps in. When I'm literally throwing my hands up God pulls me back down to Earth and reminds me that there is alot more to life than romance. So many Christians go to sit down in their easy chair as soon as they find a spouse as if they've arrived at their final destination. Their goals become just as shallow as the world's. Get married, get a house with the white picket fence, have kids, and die. Most of them after a few years take each other for granted and start questioning their own lives. The divorce rate is over 50% in this country. My advice is don't wait for a spouse to start doing God's will. Get to know who God really is and get close in this season. Make sure you know who you are and who's you are or you will look for that in a potential spouse which is the wrong place to look.
I really appreciate you sharing this. I'm sorry about your divorce and the pain it caused, but I'm encouraged by how you've taken the situation and allowed God to use it for your personal growth. That's humility that not too many people possess. I also appreciate the wisdom you shared! I'm praying that God continues to heal your wounds and grow you into the man He's called you to be!
A few minutes ago I was praying about my singleness. About how I was feeling lonely and getting frustrated. When I got on TH-cam after praying your video popped up. Talk about timing!!! I was encouraged by this video.
Hey Missloves2read, sorry I'm late in responding (I just saw your comment), but I'm so glad this video was encouraging for you! Gotta love God's way of comforting us when we need it most. I pray that you continue to abide in God's peace, and that He sends you a godly spouse soon!
I'm 43. I'm struggling to get friends. . I've been at my church for nearly 32 years and haven't made friends while other people made friends in church in very less time. I was at my old work for 10 years and made no friends, while other coworkers made friends in very less time. I had a coworker who found a boyfriend at work within 6 months of being at the company. I still have struggles with making friends and getting dating relationships. People who never met me treat me with rudeness. People don't even want to know me.
I'm really sorry to hear about your struggles Ben. I know if I were in your situation I would be very frustrated and discouraged. Out of curiosity, do you volunteer at your church at all? Or does your church offer small groups that you're a part of? Those are both ways I've made friends at church in the past
I am very very sorry for this happening to you, I just had to comment because the same thing happens to me at churches, and I have giving a GREAT deal of effort. It's so messed up. But unlike you I just stopped going to organized churches because I couldn't take the discouragement and heartbreak of being rejected anymore. I hope God leads me to a good church one of these days.
Just came across this video. I’ve struggled for years at this point. I’m 23 and have never been in a relationship. Went to a Bible college and tried to ask a few out or try to go on at least a date but couldn’t even manage that. I struggle with feeling worthless and my mother pushes me to get married soon, especially now that her health is starting to decline. My church really doesn’t have much to help singles either. But I’m doing my best to give it to God.
Yesss! I love how raw & unfiltered you are in this video. Yes, this process is definitely hard. Though it is a pruning process that the lord is taking many singles through. It can be painful and hard, but it is WORTH IT all in the end. I’m also going through this. Stay strong Brother in Christ 💪🏻 Keep pressing on! You will see the fruits of the spirit developing throughout this journey. God bless!
Sorry for the late response, but thank you Karen! I just listened to a sermon the other day about how God's timing is always worth the wait and how the only thing worse than waiting on God is wishing we had waited on Him. It was a great reminder for me, just as your words have been a great reminder. Thank you for your encouragement, and I'm praying that you may remain in Christ as well during this season. God bless!
Wow Karen Valencia. HEY I WANNA MEET YOU maybe we are family or relatives we have the same lastname. I live in NYC. I wish we could be friends and see if we are family.
I told understand how you feel because I’m in the same position as a black woman it’s harder to find a mate in adding Christianity to that title also makes it much more difficult to find a partner and as the word says he who finds a wife finds a good thing. But I think that when it comes to this topic finding contentment is truly what we as believers have to do because God‘s timing is beyond our understanding and he is so good to us and that way so I say continue praising him and seeking after the Lord.
Thank you for your encouragement! I totally agree that finding contentment in Jesus should be all Christ follower's main objective (and getting to find a godly spouse will just be a bonus!) I'm praying that you find comfort in Him, and that in His perfect timing (hopefully soon!) He provides a godly spouse for you!
I really appreciated this video!!! I have friends but all my friends are either in a relationship, have had one, and talking to someone. They give me advice but it's hard when they are not walking through it like me. So I am so glad to know that I am not alone and to find others that experience the same frustrations and longings as I do!!! God really used you to encourage me! I have been on a date and I am 21. I know that's young but very discouraging at times. So thank you!!!
My heart goes out to you Alicia. Taking life one day at a time is good advice. I just said a prayer for you, and I truly hope you get to meet the one God has for you soon!
Don't feel bad about it. If I were to have a woman like you, virgin, I would be thankful to God forever. As a man I found a virgin woman as thr greatest gift a man can ever have, there is no greater gift, more precious gift to a man than to know he is the first in a woman life. Look we could be friends if you want, maybe I help you my church have tons of guys in the youth group. I go to a big church in Brooklyn NYC.
I am 31 years old and currently in single been single my whole entire life. No date no girlfriends no kissing no holding hands no nothing and I was left alone. Through out my years in high-school I was a football player rugby and lacrosse player as well and still nothing. Because of this my faith is not as strong as it should be. This hurts me alot like I am be punished for something. How do I tell God that this hurts and it makes me feel less than everything and everyone else.
Hey Aaron, thanks for being vulnerable. I'm sorry to hear how you're feeling. If I were in your shoes, I think the best thing to do would be to bring your anger and frustration to God in prayer. The bible says that God is close to the brokenhearted, so when we're honest with Him about our feelings, He promises to come near us and comfort us. Another thing that's important for someone in your position is community. Are you currently part of any communities or groups at church?
@@JosiahNordquist currently no I am not part of a church got injured while in the galley as a c.s in the navycouple of years back so I am healing up. Thankfully I am still in yhe navy as well. I just feel like I have lost alot of time and I am afraid that I will not reach my goals of being in a relationship with a woman. This is something that is very important to me until my 31st birthday I was trying as much as my circumstances would allow me to try to get a girlfriend but I never got one and I feel like I am not the same as the rest of the guys in guys in my age range. It's something I struggle with everyday and especially at the night sometimes it can be unbearable and exhausting as well. I have been watch some videos on my current situation about being single. Alot them are talk about not making it a idol to first seek God kingdom first and foremost. Which I will try to start doing as soon as possible. But on my 31stbirthday I told God I would not try to have sex until I was married to show him that I am worthy of my request.
Love the realness in this video... I think when we're real with ourselves and God it's liberating. Thought it was relatable when you said a spouse seemed like a pretty good distraction 😂 Good reminders in here.
Thank you! And I totally agree. Being real usually isn't easy, but it always leads me to experience intimacy with God, which is oftentimes hard to get otherwise. Thanks for sharing!
This is so relatable! Glad you made this video. I felt like everything you were saying is exactly the things I've been going through. I'm 24 and have never been in a relationship. And I'm glad I haven't because nobody has been in my life that it would have worked out with, so I'm happy I haven't been through a break-up and I'm greatful for that. But at the same time, I'm sad that there hasn't been anyone in my life like that. A lot of my friends are already married, engaged, or having kids, friends my age and even younger. I've had a desire to get married for a while now and I've always been a romantic kind of person. So it's very hard sometimes. Sometimes I'm very lonely. It's easy to get envious of others, and wonder "how come she found just the right person for her and everything worked out perfectly, and I haven't? Like what's your secret? I need to know please." Also easy to feel like you're behind in life, as if you're running out of time. I was involved in a Christian college group too and never ended up finding a boyfriend through that. Although I did make a lot of really great friends and I'm so thankful for the ways I grew in Christ and had so much fun through it. But ultimately, I know God has a plan for me. God's timeline is not my own, and He knows exactly what He's doing. My story is unique, and it won't be the same as my friend's stories. Something I'm learning is that, although it may seem like it, marriage is not actually the most important thing or the end all be all of life. Serving God is and spreading His love to the world. That is the greatest adventure there is, and we don't have to wait till we're married to do that. Our lives started the day we were born, and the time to live is now. Life is not on pause until we find a spouse. And there is so much beauty and purpose in serving God with your life, no matter what season you're in. I'm trying to not worry and give it up to God. If you're single and reading this, don't give up and know that you are just as worthy as anyone in a relationship. You are just as important and just as loveable. God determines your value, not a boy, not a girl. It will be hard and you will be lonely at times, and that's okay. I'm learning to keep pushing through that to hope and purpose.
Man, speaking my life and my personal thoughts. Thank you for sharing this. Its so hard to deal with these feelings and thoughts and it seems like the world is not really meant for single people (in my perspective). Im not mad at god but im more or so hurt by him. But this video did help alot if anything in feeling not so alone with the struggle
Hey Josiah... amazing!!! complete brilliant!!! I know is not a coincidence I got to see your video. I totally understand your feeling. I can totally relate! Will add that the enemy many times uses our singleness to bring lies to our hearts.
Thanks so much for your kindness Maria! I'm glad my words were helpful to you. And you're definitely right, the enemy knows our weak spots and will use them against us, which is why returning to prayer and God's Word daily is so important!
Thank you for not being hyper optimistic as most people are in these types of videos. I don’t need a motivational speech, sometimes the best company is relatability. I also have 3 siblings who are all married, I’m the youngest, yet surpassing the age that all my brothers got married at. The best perspective that helps me personally is the fact that God knows me more than I know myself, I may feel ready or think I’m capable of stewarding certain things or no longer feel like I struggle in certain areas... truth is, we’re not as self aware and are quite ignorant of our own sin (this isn’t to say that we’re single as punishment and married people are perfect, many married people often go ahead of God and insist on their own will/timing). It just helps me to think about this season through Gods sovereignty- I want to be faithful and trust that God allowing pain, sorrow, and loneliness in my life is all for my good and his glory. God bless.
Thank you for sharing this! Very well said. Yeah there's a fine balance between being unrealistically/toxically positive about everything and being joyful despite everything because of the hope we have in Jesus. Trusting God's promise in Romans 8:28 that all our heartache will be worth it when His perfect timing plays out is what keeps me going sometimes lol. God bless!
Loved the helpful quotes, bible verses, and reminders that other people also struggle with the waiting and trusting God in seasons of singleness. Thank you! Personally, I'm 24 and have been single my whole life despite people"s disbelief when they ask, and while it has been far from easy, I have been blessed to dig deep with building values and convictions I won't sacrifice and learning to trust my Heavenly Father so Im ready when the time comes. Another thing besides prayer and Scripture that has helped me is staying connected with an older single female Christian mentor to provide me with community and perspective on singleness and staying focused on God.
Thanks Melody! And very well said. As frustrating as it is to hear sometimes, there really are a lot of lessons to be learned and habits to be formed in singleness that will serve you well when God does finally bless you with a relationship. It's tough to keep that in mind, but as I'm learning, it's worth it! And having a mentor is huge! I'm blessed to have one too, and the way they model godly singleness is super encouraging. Thanks for sharing! I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that in God's perfect timing, he soon blesses you with a godly relationship!
@@JosiahNordquist Thank you so much for taking the time to say a prayer for me. I really appreciate it! Thanks for posting videos such as these! It's very encouraging to see examples such as these of Godly people seeking after God's heart for their lives. God bless!
Hi Josiah! Thank you for being so transparent and real about your season of singleness. It's refreshing to hear it from a Christian male perspective. It definitely is hard, but just remember God has the most beautiful love story waiting to unfold! 😇 I pray that Jesus continues to renew your faith and trust in Him. 😍
I completely get you, all of what you explained is what I go through as well. I have had the desire to be pursed by a godly man for the longest time. And for now I guess it's not God's will as of yet. I have been praying and asking God for exactly what you explained. It's hard.
Gosh, you sound just like me, but I'm 33 and still single and one of the biggest things I ever wanted was to be married and be in love and have a family. I feel like the hope deferred has not only made my heart sick, but now my spirit is almost crushed for hope on the subject and I simply try not to think about it at all anymore because it's too painful. And although in this journey of singleness I truly have learned to find my joy and love in the Lord, it always feels like I'm half of me and my other half is walking around out there somewhere, like a feeling of just knowing my whole life I have an other half, and honestly it's been so devastating that it feels like my heart has gone a bit cold. In a way I feel betrayed and let down by God sometimes, and that's when I just can't think about it because God is good and faithful and for the life of me I don't want to doubt God or be upset at him because he is literally all I have and it's probably my fault anyway. But I get depressed thinking of living all my days alone in singleness so I try not to think about my singleness so I don't get sad and doubtful and I can hold onto the little hope and faith I have which feels like it's holding on by a thread. And honestly I feel like I have pretty much given up. I think it would be a complete MIRACLE if I met the one in every sense of the word. So if God wants to bring this big blessed miracle for me that would be great.
Omg I was watching Sam and P-tay’s channel and I was like “he’s so perfect I wonder if he has a brother who’s single” then I find my way to this channel and your brother is Sam??!! 😂😂😂😂🤣
I never been in a relationship though in my 20's tried asking a girl who I liked at my church. She was seeing someone else and was sorry that she couldn't date me. I felt angry cause I actually believed that she was the type of girl that God wanted for me. She was quiet like me though rebellious with her mom. Looking back it was for the better as I think that I would have had problems if I had married her and dealt with her temperament. In my late 30's and I have come to terms with being single.
Bible College isn't always the answer, I went through four years, graduated, four years after bible college, at 27.....Still single. My little brother however, married before he graduated. Go figure. Good video. Thanks
I'm sorry to hear that Elisabeth. I have a few friends who are in the same boat: went to a Christian school with the hopes of meeting "the one" but are still single. Even though the extended period of singleness can be fruitful, that doesn't mean it isn't also hard to be in at times. My prayer for you is reassurance that God will bless you with a godly relationship in His perfect timing (which I'm also praying is soon)! Thank you for your kind words, and thank you for watching!
Thanks for sharing this. Yep, it’s a bit frustrating the Bible gives very little help to Christians stuck in their single state. and generally no prayer, Bible study or fellowship or service to others will fill the painful void in a persons heart who longs for a spouse.
The right person will show up when the time is right and probably when you least expect it. I think it’s great that you put yourself out there. My family has a tradition of praying “novenas” which is Spanish and refers to nine consecutive prayers for a particular objective/need. My grandmother really believed praying to Archangel Raphael for finding a good spouse. To be honest you are still really young. I believe that staying single can be great in some aspects. Do not despair.
That's been my prayer for a while (that God blesses me with a relationship when I least expect it). Good thing to pray for but hard thing to be patient for lol. Are the novenas a Catholic practice? I've never heard of them but they sound interesting! And you're definitely right. Even though I feel old, I still (God willing) have a lot of life left in me. It's easier to appreciate something I want more than something I already have, so even though I don't always love my singleness, I understand how God is using it for my good!
@@JosiahNordquist Yes it’s a Catholic practice from Mexico. I think that you are doing everything that you can at the moment. I personally feel that many of us have the ability to become more introspective and gain greater maturity if we marry later in life. From a female perspective, I also believe that many women do not want to marry and have children young as they also want a career and financial independence. But, I think it is commendable that you want a life partner. Above all, as long as you remain determined and patient, you will see how fortune will favor you.
I am on a Christian-singleness-video-binge-marathon (lol) and just saw the video of a christian girl called Ashley McCowan.. she also claimed to have a twin... funny thought, maybe you two link up 😁🤷🏾♀️ Thanks for your honesty! God bless! ✌🏾
I've seen her videos! Her journey with singleness encouraged me to share my own, so I appreciate the step of faith she took in posting them. God bless you as well!
@@JosiahNordquist Oh what?! 😃 what a coincedence! Happy that you did! I rarely see the male perspective ob this topic! Nice to see that men aspire to marriage aswell. ☺️
I am 31 and I've only had one relationship in my life! I Thing I've been through ALL stages of singleness! 😂.. I realy want to get married one day, but May God's Will be done! It's the best. I am Brazilian, 🇧🇷 so my english is a work in progress 😂.. I'm Sorry If I made some mistakes! Deus abençoe galera!
Thanks for sharing Josi! I appreciate your positive attitude toward God's will despite your desire to be in a relationship. That's not always an easy thing to have. I'm praying that God provides a godly husband for you soon! Also, your English is great! Deus abençoe!
Lol I'm glad I'm not the only one. Misery loves company I guess, but loneliness isn't so lonely when you know you have brothers and sisters in Christ going through the same thing.
@Tony Rowan Some people are called to singleness, which, if they joyfully accept that as God's calling for them, is awesome! However, if those men and women that you know are at those ages and they still long for a relationship, then I can only imagine how hard that must be, and I hope that they can get plugged into communities where they might still meet someone. An active prayer life always helps as well!
I am single and 26 years old and I have never dated and been rejected multiple times. This summer has been a real struggle with going to so many weddings and then seeing people getting engaged and people getting married on social media. It feels like I am being tortured sometimes feeling left behind and I know its not
I feel your pain man. Even almost a year after posting this video, I'm still experiencing a lot of the same frustrations I talked about and that you shared. Some days are better than others, but every day I still have to be real with God and myself about my feelings. It's hard, but I know God listens when I cry out to Him, and it's in those vulnerable moments that I feel His comfort the most. I just said a prayer for you! I hope you're able to draw close to God, and that in His perfect timing (which is hopefully soon), He provides an awesome, godly woman for you. Thanks for sharing!
You nailed it with exactly how I feel, and these challenges if not dealt with only increases as you get older ,im in my mid 40s And its still a struggle for me sometimes, there times when I have seasons of being totally content and then their times I start going through the why lord ,but nevertheless God's will be done thanks for this video
Thanks for sharing Vonetta. I can imagine how it gets harder the older you get. I relate though to how contentment in singleness comes and goes in waves. Thankfully we can trust in God's sovereign plan through it all! I just said a prayer for you! I hope God continue to show His faithfulness to you, and that in His timing (which is hopefully soon), He provides a godly man for you. God bless!
Paul’s words for the benefits of singleness only apply to those with the gift of celibacy. Singleness will be a profound burden and means of torture for a person without the gift who has strong sexual urges and craving for intimacy. It’s more of a curse than a blessing from speaking to Christian single men over the years.
0:46 - I didn't have my first relationship nor my first kiss until I was 22 as well. And it lasted only a couple months. But long distance, so only about 2 weeks of cumulative in-person time together.
I have found that whatever you hold as being really, really important to have, God often denies you. I was born to an emotionally abusive mother. I really wanted a loving mother, and it was denied me, despite others having it. I wanted a decent paying job. Despite working very hard, I was always getting jobs that were sub=par. I really wanted a loving spouse after all the abuse I have experienced. I am now 60. Not going to happen. Why? Because I valued it. The message I am getting is to not particularly want anything for my life. If God wants me homeless, I guess that will happen. I suppose it is a matter of turning your fate over to God, and trusting he will not pull you down the rabbit hole.
I'm so sorry to hear about the abuse you faced. That's something that no one should have to go through. I'm also really sorry that you haven't found a well paying job or a loving spouse. Since you're 60 and I'm only 24, I understand that there's a lot in life that you've seen that I haven't, so I greatly appreciate you sharing your heart and what you've experienced over the years. I have a lot to learn. Still though, I hold fast to what scripture says. Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." God loves blessing us with things (Luke 11:11-13). I believe the Lord is still at work in your life just like He's still at work in mine. You may feel like God just wants to constantly disappoint you, but biblically, He wants you to have joy. I believe you can still find that present joy in Him. (Also don't count yourself out of the game yet. My Grandpa just got remarried, and he's in his eighties!) I just said a prayer for you! Thank you again for sharing, and I truly hope the Lord blesses you with the godly desires of your heart!
@@JosiahNordquist I think too often people think of God as a Santa Claus who is champing at the bit to fulfill our requests. Churches hold to this doctrine because it fills the pews and that means money. The fact is, God's will CAN mean a toddler dies, a home burns down, and loved ones lost. God's will can mean His Son dies on a cross, even though he prayed to God asking for it not to happen. It can mean physical affliction like Paul with his 'thorn in the side' that he had repeatedly prayed for God to remove. When we ask for God's will in our lives, it is HIS will. We look to the short term, and the fact is, whatever horrors we may encounter in this world it is fleeting compared to eternity. I do get disappointed when I see what I didn't get in this life, but there are people who got far, far less and this life is very short.
From what I could gather, you're under 25, right? Back then, I basically didn't care about relationships or marriage. I even had a dream one night about my wedding day and I remember feeling like it was a nightmare. Now, I'm just about 28 and there's this consuming desire to get married. I've probably gone through all the other stages that most in my position have: confusion, desperation, despondency, anger, etc. I've come to the realization that it doesn't matter what feelings are there, as long you are in control of your life and your life is submitted to God. How you feel about the situation doesn't have to dictate anything. That's just how you feel. Your actions ought to be dictated by rational thoughts grounded in biblical principles backed up by the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I know too many examples of people throwing away everything they believe just to give in to their feelings. Then, once they find themselves in this defeated position, they backwards justify the whole thing and act like what they used to believe (or maybe deep-down still believe) was some sort of antiquated morality that was rightfully supplanted by the ways of the modern world. I haven't closed myself off to meeting new people--I, in fact, am quite social. Yet, I'm trying to treat these grinding thoughts of romantic companionship as just temptation. As with thoughts of lust, the more headspace you give them, the more power they have to become actions or to change your disposition.
Reasons I am single: 1. I have standards. 2.woman I have gone out don't fit the standard. 3. The one who fitted my standard I didn't fill hers. 4.The woman who loved me I can't love, don't fit my standard furthermore she is fara away and I don't really like her. 5. I refuse to date a non christian woman.
It's good to have standards John! The bible says that it's better to live in the desert than live with a quarrelsome wife, so my encouragement to you is to stick to those standards. Praying that God brings you contentment, and, in His perfect timing, a wife!
Do not enter into a financial contract with someone who is high y incentivised to break it... Especially when divorce is at the highest rate ever recorded!
God Bless my brothers and sisters in faith! What do you guys mean by dating before marriage, how do you describe dating as a relationship between a single Christian male and a single Christian female? Which interactions does Jesus allow in this so called dating? (And by interactions I refer to: touching, hugging, kissing, obv. sex is not allowed by any means ( I hope you know that, haha) I daily pray for me and all of my Christian family around the world not to lose this constant battle with Satan, therefor not to lose everlasting life in Heaven. For me, everlasting life is the element I pray the most for. Amen
I refuse to be a virgin. I will not die a virgin. I refuse to accept God’s will if that’s what he wants. I accept the consequences. Have mercy on me God.
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Hey everyone! If this video was helpful for you or you're looking for more encouragement as a single Christian, I just did another video talking about singleness that you can check out here: th-cam.com/video/4U628vQzd4k/w-d-xo.html. God bless! 🙌
You're only 23 and have so much of life ahead of you. I'm 64 and still singe. Imagine my emotions and the tens of questions that I have. However, I hear you! You mentioned much of the thoughts and questions that I've had. Church does nothing to assist singles. It's family-oriented and singles are like the cast out crowd. Sad.
I can only imagine how you must feel Sonique. My prayer is that the church does better in this area for people of all generations. I appreciate your vulnerability, and I pray that God blesses you with a relationship soon!
Sonique, like I shared in an earlier comment I am 67 and been single for most all of my life. I am curious from a woman's perspective how you have dealt with things like no companionship and no intimacy. I had a dark time of my soul in my 40s and 50s. But lately I've had peace about my state maybe because of surrendering my struggles to Christ! But it's been a tough journey. Btw they say women handle singleness better than men. I don't know if I believe that or not. I don't have any women friends who are single and my age.
This is SO wrong to say to someone. Don’t diminish how others feel.
I’m 28 and still have yet to have a real relationship, I appreciate your honesty in this difficult circumstance. Even though I get it, it’s hard to constantly hear how singleness is a “gift” when it sure doesn’t feel like it.
It's especially frustrating when the ones telling you that singleness is a gift are in a relationship themselves. It's like, "You're not wrong, but that's not what I want to hear from you right now" lol. And I appreciate your honesty too! As I've said in other comments, the storm of singleness is easier to weather when you know you have brothers and sisters in Christ who are weathering it with you. I'm praying that God blesses you with a godly relationship soon!
Hey folks, 67 and single and celibate! Been this way most of my life. I used to struggle so much feeling left out, but came to realize I'm not left out, just in a different category. Now I understand why I won't be married; it's best for me to remain single.
I'm 34 and am the last of my siblings/ friend group not married. It's even worse when you realize that all of the Christians your age are already taken...like, missed the window of opportunity and there are literally no single Christians left in my age group. Online dating is soul crushing, how do you meet anyone IRL? churches don't minister to older singles( probably cause they are such a rarity) But God can do anything, of course. So I keep on hoping. Keep searching, don't give up, cause it gets harder the older you get.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. All I can say is my heart goes out to you and I'm hoping alongside you that you get to meet the one God has for you soon. I just said a prayer for you, and I hope you feel God's peace today!
I feel your pain, at tiems is frustrating I am single I live in NYC and sometimes is just fristrating even the idea to go out.
However I believe you have a lot of chances to get marry.
You are pretty, a woman of God. You are full of qualities.
Don't give up.
Oh man, you hit the nail on the head with this comment- I can relate 100%! It sometimes feels like us older singles simply don't exist within the church, or more likely, we don't tend to advertise this reality because it can be a bit embarrassing. But God is indeed sovereign over all things, so although I struggle with singleness, I do not despair. I know that ultimately, true fulfillment is found in Christ alone. :)
Also, 34, almost 35...not settling, waiting in the dessert. Keeping focused, doing what I need to do, learning what I need to learn....but some days get tough. I just keep reminding myself that it's better to be single than married and miserable. Marriage is beautiful, but it's also hard, and you want to marry the right person to navigate through lifes joys and challenges. God knows, and in His perfect timing...I know we will be grateful we waited. He's working behind the scenes in the meantime.
@briancufishin24 Not yet. Still watching and hoping. Can't rush God's timing.
Bro I feel yea! Single with desires & needs are tuff & a daily struggle! Stay strong ! FirefighterStyle
Absolutely! I'm praying that you feel God's closeness and that you are able to meet the woman God has for you soon!
You're so funny 😂 Thanks for the video ❤ God bless you 🙌🏻💫
Haha glad it was helpful! God bless you as well!
Im 24 and will be 25 soon ...I've been to a christian college and haven't even dated yet or been in a real relationship. I can see why God didn't allow me get into a relationship then but...as i grow m relationship with Christ ...its tiring fighting with the emotions everyday.
I hear you. Fighting emotions isn't always hard, but when it's a battle you have to fight every day, it becomes tiring (which makes the battle harder). Praying that God gives you strength during this season and that He blesses you with a relationship soon!
This is one of the best videos I have watched on this topic! So relatable and very encouraging! Also we are distantly related so that’s funny!
I'm glad you found it relatable! And that is really funny lol. Did you just stumble upon the video or did you find it through Facebook?
I just found it on TH-cam!
Being single is a horrible experience to endure, no matter how much we try to rationalize it.
As a Single 36y old (in the next few days) men I feel you Brother. I'm very aware of the ticking clock, I'm oldest (or just about) and single dude in my small group.... (3 other couples all on their 2nd or more child) it an on going job of seeking God in this season and no dwelling on what could be. Granted if I'm honest , I'm probable not ready and/or I haven't found the Women that makes me over come my natural Introverted tendency. Truth can Hurt but God is Good.
Thanks for sharing John. I appreciate the way you model patience and trust in your singleness for us younger singles. I'm always grateful to hear from those who are ahead of me in life who are willing to share their experiences and the wisdom God has given them, so truly thank you for commenting! I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God blesses you with a godly wife soon!
I´m 29 right now and i´m learning this as i write this... The most powerfull thing i´ve learned is that we should learn to let God include us in HIS plans and not the other way around
Absolutely Luis! He knows better than we do. Waiting on God's timing and provision is simple in theory but hard in execution, but at the end of the day I always trust that His plan is better than mine. Thanks for sharing!
I need more friends like this guy
Lol thanks Thomas! I'd be happy to be your friend! I'm also praying that God blesses you with good friends in your community!
Thanks for the video. I'm 39 years old, a couple of months shy of 40. I have Asperger's which is a mild form of autism and I've been single and celibate all my life. No dating in high school or in my twenties. There was one girl in church that I befriended. It looked promising but fell apart very quickly. That was 11 years ago and since then no prospects, nothing. It has become frustrating especially seeing former classmates and most of my cousins get married and have families. Now my brother, who's 5 years younger than I,will be getting married in months. I've prayed several times about this. I can admit that I need to pray more about it, but my frustrations keep getting in the way. I know God loves me and I know I love Him but this is one area of my life where I find myself in a serious wrestling match with Him. Please pray for me. Thank you again for the video.
Thank you for sharing Louis! As a 24 year old it's been hard for me being single for so long, so I can only imagine how hard it's been to have unwanted singleness for nearly 40 years. What sort of ways are you currently trying to meet new people? Are you part of a single's group at church or are you on dating apps/sites? I know meeting people has become harder with the pandemic, but thankfully with modern technology it's still possible. Like you said too, I would continue to pray about it every day. I'll be the first to say that it sometimes feels like my prayers fall on deaf ears, but I trust what scripture says, and scripture says that God hears our prayers and gives us the desires of our heart if we trust in Him. I just said a prayer for you! I hope that 1) God draws you closer to Him during this time, but also 2) that God blesses you with a wonderful woman very soon. God bless!
Try being nearly 56 .
I am 39 years and probably the closest to getting a girlfriend was in my 20's to a girl who was 3 years younger than me. She was friendly and seemed like the girl next door type. Sadly she was already taken though as someone who had social anxiety, depression; I feel that it wasnt in God's plan more of me wanting a girlfriend to fulfill my sexual needs. Same here with my cousins getting married and having children in their 20's. My younger brother has four children. Least I am glad to be an uncle to my nephews and nieces.
I feel like God drew me to this video. I'm single and have been trying to figure out why God has kept me that way and you gave me some new potential reasons. Thank you very much.
You're welcome Jacob! I'm glad my words were helpful for you. I'm praying that God gives you clarity and contentment in Him during this season.
@@JosiahNordquist Thanks. I'm somewhat surprised to receive a reply, let alone prayer. Most youtubers don't do that.
@@legodudelol9a I always enjoy subverting people's expectations lol. Hope you're having a good day!
Very, very refreshing to hear this from another man. Majority of those who talk about singleness is women. However, I am 39 year old single Christian man. The clock is ticking way, way louder than I expect. Let's admit it God does NOT care. If He does, He would have done something by now. If singleness is a gift, why am I the one paying for it? If singleness is a gift, what is the return policy?
Hey Bryan! I'm glad my video provided some encouragement for you. To be truthful though, I believe God still greatly cares about your situation. You're older than me, so I understand that you've been living in singleness longer than I have and therefore I can't perfectly empathize with you, but I'm confident that God still cares about your heart. Out of curiosity, what measures have you taken/are you taking to meet people?
@@JosiahNordquist I have a question. Since we are both men, what do you do to control sexual urge during singleness?
Felt this on a spiritual level. Not trolling here, just relate to this sm smh. Singleness is like a blessing and a curse.
Lol you're in good company. Praying that God gives you peace while you're waiting!
Christian my whole life well into my fifties never married no children, to say singleness is hard is a serious understatement. I truly wish the church was a place to turn as a single but it doesn’t seem to be, the church appears inept with the subject. All I can say is if you want to get married and are still young now is the time to get serious about your life. When you are old people might say they care but there will be nothing more.
A lot of what you talked about is what I’m learning and going through right now. Solidarity is so encouraging. Thanks for sharing!
You're welcome Kelsey! I'm encouraged that you're encouraged lol. We all need to know that we're not alone!
Dear Brother! What I am feeling you just put it in words so accurately. Indeed, this content was a blessing to me. May you find the one God has for you very soon! JESUS BLESS YOU :)
And may you find the one God has for you very soon as well! I'm so glad my words were a blessing to you!
Hi! I pray you find Misses right! Say a prayer for me too please!
I've been single all of my life had crushes in middle school and high school and I really liked what you said in the video
I feel you man. It can be tough. I'm glad my words could help you out, and I'm praying that you soon get to meet the one that God has for you!
@@JosiahNordquist thanks man, same to you!
I’m 24 and I have never been in a relationship. This is so real. All my friends are getting married, engaged and in serious Godly relationships and I am here solo.
I did go to Christian college and the grass is not greener on the other side.
Good points about contentment. God bless you.
I'm sorry to hear that Linds. It's definitely not easy sometimes. I'm confident though that God has a plan for you! I'm praying that you feel His comfort right now, and that in His perfect timing He provides you with a godly relationship. God bless you as well!
I am 37 and single. I don't spend much time with friends (they don't feel like it). I am depressed and mad at God for my loneliness. I feel abandoned by God. My days are filled with boredom and grief. I have no hope of finding someone.
I'm sorry to hear about how you're feeling Julia. Depression is a beast and I wish you didn't have to go through it. I understand why you're mad at God, but I hope you know that He still loves you and still has a plan for you. I'm praying that even in your loneliness and frustration, you feel His peace and are comforted knowing that He's working for your good. I believe there's still hope for you to find someone, and I hope you can believe that too.
@@JosiahNordquist Thank you!
@@JosiahNordquist Thank you! In fact, I was married and now am going through divorce. When I say "I have no hope of finding someone" I mean that I don't feel that I have anything inside me that I could share with a man, that I am not capable of forming and keeping a relationship. I hope that God will heal me. At this point, I feel like I have nothing to share and am afraid of relationships as a potential source of pain.
i feel the exact same way. everyone around me is getting married and even having kids and i have nobody. nice to know im not alone
You're definitely not alone! I made this video to air my own feelings on singleness, so it's very encouraging to me to hear that others feel the same. God sees your hurt and He hears your prayers!
@Annika Olson thank you so much and your right!
I am a (newly)30 year old woman struggling with singleness. Clock is ticking indeed, and I’m such a shy person, I can’t just charm a man of god in person. You’re getting out there a lot and you’re young, it’s hard not to be a bit envious of you.
I'm sorry to hear about how you're feeling. I obviously can't put myself in your shoes entirely, but I know how hopeless it can feel to be shy and charmless. Is there any environment where you could meet guys yet still feel in your element? Or do you have an outgoing friend who could be your wingwoman?
I just said a prayer for you! Praying that God takes away your feelings of hopelessness and allows you to meet a man who honors Him. I appreciate you sharing!
The struggle is real! I've been praying, online dating, volunteering, meeting people etc for the past sixteen years and still don't know why God hasn't opened marriage up to me yet.
Yeah the "why" behind a season of unwanted singleness is maybe the most painful part since it's a question we hardly ever get the answer to. I guess it just means you and I both get to spend extra time building our patience and faith in God's timing lol. Praying that He blesses you with a godly relationship soon!
I got married at 26 and just recently got divorced last year. When I lost my wife God took me down some of the scariest roads that I've never been on to deal with the past I had before I'd even met my wife. I had no self worth, no identity, and was afraid of everything. When I met my future wife that all seemed to just go away.......until the day that she left. Right away all of those old feelings came right back like they'd been waiting right at my door for 17 years. The thing I found out right away is that I had whore'd out my self confidence and identity to another human being. My wife. Without her I found that I had neither on my own which is bad. Secular society TEACHES us that YOU NEED SOMEONE TO COMPLETE YOU. Ironically when that person who "completed" you walks out of your life then society says that you shouldn't give a f*** and love yourself. I never lived on my own. I went straight from my parent's house to married because I was afraid of being alone. I never had a season of true singleness to deal with all of the giants in my life. Sexual urges kill. They really do. Even if you can get past the loneliness the sexual urges are so strong. The truth is that there is so much more to a relationship than sex but that is so hard to see when you get strong urges. In my experience when I reach my wit's end is when God steps in. When I'm literally throwing my hands up God pulls me back down to Earth and reminds me that there is alot more to life than romance. So many Christians go to sit down in their easy chair as soon as they find a spouse as if they've arrived at their final destination. Their goals become just as shallow as the world's. Get married, get a house with the white picket fence, have kids, and die. Most of them after a few years take each other for granted and start questioning their own lives. The divorce rate is over 50% in this country. My advice is don't wait for a spouse to start doing God's will. Get to know who God really is and get close in this season. Make sure you know who you are and who's you are or you will look for that in a potential spouse which is the wrong place to look.
I really appreciate you sharing this. I'm sorry about your divorce and the pain it caused, but I'm encouraged by how you've taken the situation and allowed God to use it for your personal growth. That's humility that not too many people possess. I also appreciate the wisdom you shared! I'm praying that God continues to heal your wounds and grow you into the man He's called you to be!
A few minutes ago I was praying about my singleness. About how I was feeling lonely and getting frustrated. When I got on TH-cam after praying your video popped up. Talk about timing!!! I was encouraged by this video.
Hey Missloves2read, sorry I'm late in responding (I just saw your comment), but I'm so glad this video was encouraging for you! Gotta love God's way of comforting us when we need it most. I pray that you continue to abide in God's peace, and that He sends you a godly spouse soon!
You're definitely not alone on this topic. It's the same for me. God is working through us...trust the process!
I'm 43. I'm struggling to get friends. .
I've been at my church for nearly 32 years and haven't made friends while other people made friends in church in very less time.
I was at my old work for 10 years and made no friends, while other coworkers made friends in very less time.
I had a coworker who found a boyfriend at work within 6 months of being at the company.
I still have struggles with making friends and getting dating relationships.
People who never met me treat me with rudeness. People don't even want to know me.
I'm really sorry to hear about your struggles Ben. I know if I were in your situation I would be very frustrated and discouraged. Out of curiosity, do you volunteer at your church at all? Or does your church offer small groups that you're a part of? Those are both ways I've made friends at church in the past
Hand me your e-mail I will tell younwhy are you not maling friends.
If not just buy the book called: How to win friends and influence over people.
I am very very sorry for this happening to you, I just had to comment because the same thing happens to me at churches, and I have giving a GREAT deal of effort. It's so messed up. But unlike you I just stopped going to organized churches because I couldn't take the discouragement and heartbreak of being rejected anymore. I hope God leads me to a good church one of these days.
Just came across this video. I’ve struggled for years at this point. I’m 23 and have never been in a relationship. Went to a Bible college and tried to ask a few out or try to go on at least a date but couldn’t even manage that. I struggle with feeling worthless and my mother pushes me to get married soon, especially now that her health is starting to decline. My church really doesn’t have much to help singles either. But I’m doing my best to give it to God.
Yesss! I love how raw & unfiltered you are in this video. Yes, this process is definitely hard. Though it is a pruning process that the lord is taking many singles through. It can be painful and hard, but it is WORTH IT all in the end. I’m also going through this. Stay strong Brother in Christ 💪🏻 Keep pressing on! You will see the fruits of the spirit developing throughout this journey. God bless!
Sorry for the late response, but thank you Karen! I just listened to a sermon the other day about how God's timing is always worth the wait and how the only thing worse than waiting on God is wishing we had waited on Him. It was a great reminder for me, just as your words have been a great reminder. Thank you for your encouragement, and I'm praying that you may remain in Christ as well during this season. God bless!
Wow Karen Valencia. HEY I WANNA MEET YOU maybe we are family or relatives we have the same lastname.
I live in NYC.
I wish we could be friends and see if we are family.
I told understand how you feel because I’m in the same position as a black woman it’s harder to find a mate in adding Christianity to that title also makes it much more difficult to find a partner and as the word says he who finds a wife finds a good thing. But I think that when it comes to this topic finding contentment is truly what we as believers have to do because God‘s timing is beyond our understanding and he is so good to us and that way so I say continue praising him and seeking after the Lord.
Thank you for your encouragement! I totally agree that finding contentment in Jesus should be all Christ follower's main objective (and getting to find a godly spouse will just be a bonus!) I'm praying that you find comfort in Him, and that in His perfect timing (hopefully soon!) He provides a godly spouse for you!
I really appreciated this video!!! I have friends but all my friends are either in a relationship, have had one, and talking to someone. They give me advice but it's hard when they are not walking through it like me. So I am so glad to know that I am not alone and to find others that experience the same frustrations and longings as I do!!! God really used you to encourage me! I have been on a date and I am 21. I know that's young but very discouraging at times. So thank you!!!
Brilliant, well researched, and well spoken. You answered questions I didn't know I had. Thank you for sharing. God bless.
Thanks Anthony! I'm so encouraged that this video was helpful for you. God bless you as well!
Yea, I feel this. Been there done that. I’ll be 35 in two months, and I’m a virgin. So many questions that’ll never be answered. One day at a time.
My heart goes out to you Alicia. Taking life one day at a time is good advice. I just said a prayer for you, and I truly hope you get to meet the one God has for you soon!
Josiah Nordquist thank you and same to you!!
Annika Olson that is encouraging- thank you!
Don't feel bad about it. If I were to have a woman like you, virgin, I would be thankful to God forever. As a man I found a virgin woman as thr greatest gift a man can ever have, there is no greater gift, more precious gift to a man than to know he is the first in a woman life.
Look we could be friends if you want, maybe I help you my church have tons of guys in the youth group.
I go to a big church in Brooklyn NYC.
I am 31 years old and currently in single been single my whole entire life. No date no girlfriends no kissing no holding hands no nothing and I was left alone. Through out my years in high-school I was a football player rugby and lacrosse player as well and still nothing. Because of this my faith is not as strong as it should be. This hurts me alot like I am be punished for something. How do I tell God that this hurts and it makes me feel less than everything and everyone else.
Hey Aaron, thanks for being vulnerable. I'm sorry to hear how you're feeling. If I were in your shoes, I think the best thing to do would be to bring your anger and frustration to God in prayer. The bible says that God is close to the brokenhearted, so when we're honest with Him about our feelings, He promises to come near us and comfort us. Another thing that's important for someone in your position is community. Are you currently part of any communities or groups at church?
@@JosiahNordquist currently no I am not part of a church got injured while in the galley as a c.s in the navycouple of years back so I am healing up. Thankfully I am still in yhe navy as well. I just feel like I have lost alot of time and I am afraid that I will not reach my goals of being in a relationship with a woman. This is something that is very important to me until my 31st birthday I was trying as much as my circumstances would allow me to try to get a girlfriend but I never got one and I feel like I am not the same as the rest of the guys in guys in my age range. It's something I struggle with everyday and especially at the night sometimes it can be unbearable and exhausting as well. I have been watch some videos on my current situation about being single. Alot them are talk about not making it a idol to first seek God kingdom first and foremost. Which I will try to start doing as soon as possible. But on my 31stbirthday I told God I would not try to have sex until I was married to show him that I am worthy of my request.
Love the realness in this video... I think when we're real with ourselves and God it's liberating. Thought it was relatable when you said a spouse seemed like a pretty good distraction 😂 Good reminders in here.
Thank you! And I totally agree. Being real usually isn't easy, but it always leads me to experience intimacy with God, which is oftentimes hard to get otherwise. Thanks for sharing!
I love how real and vulnerable you are in this video. Thank you for your encouraging words. God bless
Imagine being an introverted older single (50's)...it's hard! My siblings are married except me. I've been praying for years.
This is so relatable! Glad you made this video. I felt like everything you were saying is exactly the things I've been going through. I'm 24 and have never been in a relationship. And I'm glad I haven't because nobody has been in my life that it would have worked out with, so I'm happy I haven't been through a break-up and I'm greatful for that. But at the same time, I'm sad that there hasn't been anyone in my life like that. A lot of my friends are already married, engaged, or having kids, friends my age and even younger. I've had a desire to get married for a while now and I've always been a romantic kind of person. So it's very hard sometimes. Sometimes I'm very lonely. It's easy to get envious of others, and wonder "how come she found just the right person for her and everything worked out perfectly, and I haven't? Like what's your secret? I need to know please." Also easy to feel like you're behind in life, as if you're running out of time. I was involved in a Christian college group too and never ended up finding a boyfriend through that. Although I did make a lot of really great friends and I'm so thankful for the ways I grew in Christ and had so much fun through it. But ultimately, I know God has a plan for me. God's timeline is not my own, and He knows exactly what He's doing. My story is unique, and it won't be the same as my friend's stories. Something I'm learning is that, although it may seem like it, marriage is not actually the most important thing or the end all be all of life. Serving God is and spreading His love to the world. That is the greatest adventure there is, and we don't have to wait till we're married to do that. Our lives started the day we were born, and the time to live is now. Life is not on pause until we find a spouse. And there is so much beauty and purpose in serving God with your life, no matter what season you're in. I'm trying to not worry and give it up to God. If you're single and reading this, don't give up and know that you are just as worthy as anyone in a relationship. You are just as important and just as loveable. God determines your value, not a boy, not a girl. It will be hard and you will be lonely at times, and that's okay. I'm learning to keep pushing through that to hope and purpose.
Man, speaking my life and my personal thoughts. Thank you for sharing this. Its so hard to deal with these feelings and thoughts and it seems like the world is not really meant for single people (in my perspective). Im not mad at god but im more or so hurt by him. But this video did help alot if anything in feeling not so alone with the struggle
Hey Josiah... amazing!!! complete brilliant!!! I know is not a coincidence I got to see your video. I totally understand your feeling. I can totally relate! Will add that the enemy many times uses our singleness to bring lies to our hearts.
Thanks so much for your kindness Maria! I'm glad my words were helpful to you. And you're definitely right, the enemy knows our weak spots and will use them against us, which is why returning to prayer and God's Word daily is so important!
Thank you so much, that was real, honest, and relatable....
Real, honest, and relatable are what I shoot for lol. I'm glad you appreciated it Abigail!
Awesome!! Keep shinning 🙌
Thank you for not being hyper optimistic as most people are in these types of videos. I don’t need a motivational speech, sometimes the best company is relatability. I also have 3 siblings who are all married, I’m the youngest, yet surpassing the age that all my brothers got married at. The best perspective that helps me personally is the fact that God knows me more than I know myself, I may feel ready or think I’m capable of stewarding certain things or no longer feel like I struggle in certain areas... truth is, we’re not as self aware and are quite ignorant of our own sin (this isn’t to say that we’re single as punishment and married people are perfect, many married people often go ahead of God and insist on their own will/timing). It just helps me to think about this season through Gods sovereignty- I want to be faithful and trust that God allowing pain, sorrow, and loneliness in my life is all for my good and his glory. God bless.
Thank you for sharing this! Very well said. Yeah there's a fine balance between being unrealistically/toxically positive about everything and being joyful despite everything because of the hope we have in Jesus. Trusting God's promise in Romans 8:28 that all our heartache will be worth it when His perfect timing plays out is what keeps me going sometimes lol. God bless!
Loved the helpful quotes, bible verses, and reminders that other people also struggle with the waiting and trusting God in seasons of singleness. Thank you! Personally, I'm 24 and have been single my whole life despite people"s disbelief when they ask, and while it has been far from easy, I have been blessed to dig deep with building values and convictions I won't sacrifice and learning to trust my Heavenly Father so Im ready when the time comes. Another thing besides prayer and Scripture that has helped me is staying connected with an older single female Christian mentor to provide me with community and perspective on singleness and staying focused on God.
Thanks Melody! And very well said. As frustrating as it is to hear sometimes, there really are a lot of lessons to be learned and habits to be formed in singleness that will serve you well when God does finally bless you with a relationship. It's tough to keep that in mind, but as I'm learning, it's worth it! And having a mentor is huge! I'm blessed to have one too, and the way they model godly singleness is super encouraging.
Thanks for sharing! I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that in God's perfect timing, he soon blesses you with a godly relationship!
@@JosiahNordquist Thank you so much for taking the time to say a prayer for me. I really appreciate it! Thanks for posting videos such as these! It's very encouraging to see examples such as these of Godly people seeking after God's heart for their lives. God bless!
Hi Josiah! Thank you for being so transparent and real about your season of singleness. It's refreshing to hear it from a Christian male perspective. It definitely is hard, but just remember God has the most beautiful love story waiting to unfold! 😇 I pray that Jesus continues to renew your faith and trust in Him. 😍
I completely get you, all of what you explained is what I go through as well. I have had the desire to be pursed by a godly man for the longest time. And for now I guess it's not God's will as of yet. I have been praying and asking God for exactly what you explained. It's hard.
Gosh, you sound just like me, but I'm 33 and still single and one of the biggest things I ever wanted was to be married and be in love and have a family. I feel like the hope deferred has not only made my heart sick, but now my spirit is almost crushed for hope on the subject and I simply try not to think about it at all anymore because it's too painful. And although in this journey of singleness I truly have learned to find my joy and love in the Lord, it always feels like I'm half of me and my other half is walking around out there somewhere, like a feeling of just knowing my whole life I have an other half, and honestly it's been so devastating that it feels like my heart has gone a bit cold. In a way I feel betrayed and let down by God sometimes, and that's when I just can't think about it because God is good and faithful and for the life of me I don't want to doubt God or be upset at him because he is literally all I have and it's probably my fault anyway. But I get depressed thinking of living all my days alone in singleness so I try not to think about my singleness so I don't get sad and doubtful and I can hold onto the little hope and faith I have which feels like it's holding on by a thread. And honestly I feel like I have pretty much given up. I think it would be a complete MIRACLE if I met the one in every sense of the word. So if God wants to bring this big blessed miracle for me that would be great.
Loved this video you were very open and honest...I couldn't relate any harder. I totally feel what your saying. I appreciate you
I'm glad you appreciated it! There's encouragement in solidarity, so I'm glad my experience has been able to help you with yours!
Omg I was watching Sam and P-tay’s channel and I was like “he’s so perfect I wonder if he has a brother who’s single” then I find my way to this channel and your brother is Sam??!! 😂😂😂😂🤣
Small world lol. Yeah Sam's a real gem. I strive to be as Christ-centered and faithful as he is!
I never been in a relationship though in my 20's tried asking a girl who I liked at my church. She was seeing someone else and was sorry that she couldn't date me. I felt angry cause I actually believed that she was the type of girl that God wanted for me. She was quiet like me though rebellious with her mom. Looking back it was for the better as I think that I would have had problems if I had married her and dealt with her temperament. In my late 30's and I have come to terms with being single.
you are so precious! Thank you for being vulnerable and posting this!
Haha thank you! I hope my words were encouraging!
Bible College isn't always the answer, I went through four years, graduated, four years after bible college, at 27.....Still single. My little brother however, married before he graduated. Go figure. Good video. Thanks
I'm sorry to hear that Elisabeth. I have a few friends who are in the same boat: went to a Christian school with the hopes of meeting "the one" but are still single. Even though the extended period of singleness can be fruitful, that doesn't mean it isn't also hard to be in at times. My prayer for you is reassurance that God will bless you with a godly relationship in His perfect timing (which I'm also praying is soon)! Thank you for your kind words, and thank you for watching!
Thanks for sharing this. Yep, it’s a bit frustrating the Bible gives very little help to Christians stuck in their single state. and generally no prayer, Bible study or fellowship or service to others will fill the painful void in a persons heart who longs for a spouse.
The right person will show up when the time is right and probably when you least expect it. I think it’s great that you put yourself out there. My family has a tradition of praying “novenas” which is Spanish and refers to nine consecutive prayers for a particular objective/need. My grandmother really believed praying to Archangel Raphael for finding a good spouse. To be honest you are still really young. I believe that staying single can be great in some aspects. Do not despair.
That's been my prayer for a while (that God blesses me with a relationship when I least expect it). Good thing to pray for but hard thing to be patient for lol. Are the novenas a Catholic practice? I've never heard of them but they sound interesting! And you're definitely right. Even though I feel old, I still (God willing) have a lot of life left in me. It's easier to appreciate something I want more than something I already have, so even though I don't always love my singleness, I understand how God is using it for my good!
@@JosiahNordquist Yes it’s a Catholic practice from Mexico. I think that you are doing everything that you can at the moment. I personally feel that many of us have the ability to become more introspective and gain greater maturity if we marry later in life. From a female perspective, I also believe that many women do not want to marry and have children young as they also want a career and financial independence. But, I think it is commendable that you want a life partner. Above all, as long as you remain determined and patient, you will see how fortune will favor you.
I am on a Christian-singleness-video-binge-marathon (lol) and just saw the video of a christian girl called Ashley McCowan.. she also claimed to have a twin... funny thought, maybe you two link up 😁🤷🏾♀️
Thanks for your honesty! God bless! ✌🏾
I've seen her videos! Her journey with singleness encouraged me to share my own, so I appreciate the step of faith she took in posting them. God bless you as well!
@@JosiahNordquist Oh what?! 😃 what a coincedence!
Happy that you did! I rarely see the male perspective ob this topic! Nice to see that men aspire to marriage aswell. ☺️
I am 31 and I've only had one relationship in my life! I Thing I've been through ALL stages of singleness! 😂.. I realy want to get married one day, but May God's Will be done! It's the best. I am Brazilian, 🇧🇷 so my english is a work in progress 😂.. I'm Sorry If I made some mistakes!
Deus abençoe galera!
Thanks for sharing Josi! I appreciate your positive attitude toward God's will despite your desire to be in a relationship. That's not always an easy thing to have. I'm praying that God provides a godly husband for you soon! Also, your English is great! Deus abençoe!
Great video man! I feel this on soooo many levels 😂
Lol I'm glad I'm not the only one. Misery loves company I guess, but loneliness isn't so lonely when you know you have brothers and sisters in Christ going through the same thing.
@@JosiahNordquist for sure man! Community is an awesome thing
@Tony Rowan Some people are called to singleness, which, if they joyfully accept that as God's calling for them, is awesome! However, if those men and women that you know are at those ages and they still long for a relationship, then I can only imagine how hard that must be, and I hope that they can get plugged into communities where they might still meet someone. An active prayer life always helps as well!
God is able!! Help us Lord 🙏🏽 it not easy being alone
I am single and 26 years old and I have never dated and been rejected multiple times. This summer has been a real struggle with going to so many weddings and then seeing people getting engaged and people getting married on social media. It feels like I am being tortured sometimes feeling left behind and I know its not
I feel your pain man. Even almost a year after posting this video, I'm still experiencing a lot of the same frustrations I talked about and that you shared. Some days are better than others, but every day I still have to be real with God and myself about my feelings. It's hard, but I know God listens when I cry out to Him, and it's in those vulnerable moments that I feel His comfort the most.
I just said a prayer for you! I hope you're able to draw close to God, and that in His perfect timing (which is hopefully soon), He provides an awesome, godly woman for you. Thanks for sharing!
You nailed it with exactly how I feel, and these challenges if not dealt with only increases as you get older ,im in my mid 40s
And its still a struggle for me sometimes, there times when I have seasons of being totally content and then their times I start going through the why lord ,but nevertheless God's will be done thanks for this video
Thanks for sharing Vonetta. I can imagine how it gets harder the older you get. I relate though to how contentment in singleness comes and goes in waves. Thankfully we can trust in God's sovereign plan through it all!
I just said a prayer for you! I hope God continue to show His faithfulness to you, and that in His timing (which is hopefully soon), He provides a godly man for you. God bless!
@@JosiahNordquist ,thank you I really appreciate you taking time to pray for me ,God bless you abundantly 🤗
NBSB for 31 yrs...super relate......any Filipino Christians here?
Just said a prayer for you Carmi! I hope God blesses you with a godly relationship soon!
You just got a new sub 👍🏿. I identify with this, but I'm way older than you, 37.
Paul’s words for the benefits of singleness only apply to those with the gift of celibacy. Singleness will be a profound burden and means of torture for a person without the gift who has strong sexual urges and craving for intimacy. It’s more of a curse than a blessing from speaking to Christian single men over the years.
0:46 - I didn't have my first relationship nor my first kiss until I was 22 as well. And it lasted only a couple months. But long distance, so only about 2 weeks of cumulative in-person time together.
I have found that whatever you hold as being really, really important to have, God often denies you. I was born to an emotionally abusive mother. I really wanted a loving mother, and it was denied me, despite others having it. I wanted a decent paying job. Despite working very hard, I was always getting jobs that were sub=par. I really wanted a loving spouse after all the abuse I have experienced. I am now 60. Not going to happen. Why? Because I valued it. The message I am getting is to not particularly want anything for my life. If God wants me homeless, I guess that will happen. I suppose it is a matter of turning your fate over to God, and trusting he will not pull you down the rabbit hole.
I'm so sorry to hear about the abuse you faced. That's something that no one should have to go through. I'm also really sorry that you haven't found a well paying job or a loving spouse. Since you're 60 and I'm only 24, I understand that there's a lot in life that you've seen that I haven't, so I greatly appreciate you sharing your heart and what you've experienced over the years. I have a lot to learn.
Still though, I hold fast to what scripture says. Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." God loves blessing us with things (Luke 11:11-13). I believe the Lord is still at work in your life just like He's still at work in mine. You may feel like God just wants to constantly disappoint you, but biblically, He wants you to have joy. I believe you can still find that present joy in Him. (Also don't count yourself out of the game yet. My Grandpa just got remarried, and he's in his eighties!)
I just said a prayer for you! Thank you again for sharing, and I truly hope the Lord blesses you with the godly desires of your heart!
@@JosiahNordquist I think too often people think of God as a Santa Claus who is champing at the bit to fulfill our requests. Churches hold to this doctrine because it fills the pews and that means money. The fact is, God's will CAN mean a toddler dies, a home burns down, and loved ones lost. God's will can mean His Son dies on a cross, even though he prayed to God asking for it not to happen. It can mean physical affliction like Paul with his 'thorn in the side' that he had repeatedly prayed for God to remove. When we ask for God's will in our lives, it is HIS will. We look to the short term, and the fact is, whatever horrors we may encounter in this world it is fleeting compared to eternity. I do get disappointed when I see what I didn't get in this life, but there are people who got far, far less and this life is very short.
From what I could gather, you're under 25, right? Back then, I basically didn't care about relationships or marriage. I even had a dream one night about my wedding day and I remember feeling like it was a nightmare. Now, I'm just about 28 and there's this consuming desire to get married. I've probably gone through all the other stages that most in my position have: confusion, desperation, despondency, anger, etc. I've come to the realization that it doesn't matter what feelings are there, as long you are in control of your life and your life is submitted to God. How you feel about the situation doesn't have to dictate anything. That's just how you feel. Your actions ought to be dictated by rational thoughts grounded in biblical principles backed up by the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I know too many examples of people throwing away everything they believe just to give in to their feelings. Then, once they find themselves in this defeated position, they backwards justify the whole thing and act like what they used to believe (or maybe deep-down still believe) was some sort of antiquated morality that was rightfully supplanted by the ways of the modern world. I haven't closed myself off to meeting new people--I, in fact, am quite social. Yet, I'm trying to treat these grinding thoughts of romantic companionship as just temptation. As with thoughts of lust, the more headspace you give them, the more power they have to become actions or to change your disposition.
Reasons I am single:
1. I have standards.
2.woman I have gone out don't fit the standard.
3. The one who fitted my standard I didn't fill hers.
4.The woman who loved me I can't love, don't fit my standard furthermore she is fara away and I don't really like her.
5. I refuse to date a non christian woman.
It's good to have standards John! The bible says that it's better to live in the desert than live with a quarrelsome wife, so my encouragement to you is to stick to those standards. Praying that God brings you contentment, and, in His perfect timing, a wife!
Thank you for this.
You're welcome!
Do not enter into a financial contract with someone who is high y incentivised to break it... Especially when divorce is at the highest rate ever recorded!
Im 28 years and still waiting for my future husband
Thanks for sharing Amanda. I'm praying that you feel God's closeness during this season, and I pray that He provides a godly husband for you soon!
God Bless my brothers and sisters in faith!
What do you guys mean by dating before marriage, how do you describe dating as a relationship between a single Christian male and a single Christian female? Which interactions does Jesus allow in this so called dating? (And by interactions I refer to: touching, hugging, kissing, obv. sex is not allowed by any means ( I hope you know that, haha)
I daily pray for me and all of my Christian family around the world not to lose this constant battle with Satan, therefor not to lose everlasting life in Heaven. For me, everlasting life is the element I pray the most for. Amen
A lot of hot air
I refuse to be a virgin. I will not die a virgin. I refuse to accept God’s will if that’s what he wants. I accept the consequences.
Have mercy on me God.
It's know man, it's tough. I just said a prayer for you! Find me on Instagram or send me an email if you want to talk more!
NO one dies a virgin. Life fucks everybody.