I Can’t Stop Thinking About My Ex-Wife (How Do I Move On?)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ต.ค. 2024
- I Can’t Stop Thinking About My Ex-Wife (How Do I Move On?)
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My only advice would be stop telling people you are divorced. Just say you are single until it’s worth bringing it up. Good luck and also stop checking in with your ex. Move on and be happy.
Wait when
He wasnt checking in with her😂 he literally said the talk like once a month over finalizing somethings between them
Yep, certain things are on a need-to-know basis, let out little by little as trust is built...as people start to realize your value and realize that you're worth dealing with some of the harder stuff. Trust must be built over time and vulnerability increases only as it is earned.
@@porourangi10see my last comment. Feel it out. Take it easy.
😊@@erikbudrow1255
My ex wife had multiple affairs and left me for another man.
I went full no contact, blocked and removed her from everything, spent time alone to heal and grieve over the loss of the relationship.
Meanwhile, she too spent alot of time reflecting on her behavior and feeling the loss of me.
She spends a lot of time trying to patch things up but I keep rejecting her and tell her to move on with life.
She doesn’t deserve me, her actions is proof that she never loved or valued me. People only value you when you’re gonez
Finfd a woman who doesnt feel so "hyper-desired"
It seems women who feel desired are addicted to attention.
the ones who dress modestly or
modern but not so much....they seek values.
Sam Vaknin did video about
"Falling in love with feeling of falling in love" not with the person but just with the feeing
the chemical process in brain....these people dont want commitment.
that the person is addicted to romance movies, rather than the real relltionships.
@@BrandyTH-cam99 ok well continue to let him have his cake and eat it too, and pray that he doesn't bring home an std
@@yogaqueen1527 I know. He denies the cheating though and I can’t really prove it so idk
@@BrandyTH-cam99if you care about your kids, leave that man. Don’t put your kids through that.
@@yogaqueen1527
Stop checking up on her. Level up. The only thing that fixes this is improvement of yourself and time
Get that man in the gym and on some test
That’s helpful but not enough. You have to deal with the mental and emotional issues, looking good and getting healthy isn’t going to heal it and sometimes time can make it worse if prone to ruminating or depression
He said he has to for divorce reasons. Once the legal stuff is done though, i completely agree
He literally has "leveled up" he said the only time he talks to her is over things they need to finalize and it's like 2x a month
He never said that he was 'checking up on her'.. he said that he talked to her once a month about things to do with their divorce..
I despise cheating. Goodness. You don’t fall out of love. Love is something you work on continuously. You consciously commit daily and make sacrifices. You communicate and make it work! Wasting the time cheating that you could’ve invested on each other is wrong on every level.
Absolutely.👍👍
Exactly
Very well put. There’s no “happily ever after” - you have to wake up every day and choose to love the person you’re with.
There's is such a thing as falling out of love though it's no excuse for cheating
Yes, people stop loving their spouse for different reasons. People grow and realize the person their married to is not someone they want to spend the rest of their life with. Was with my ex for 20 years. I got tired of feeling alone.
Divorce is tough, I remember it very well. On top of everything, I went through it without parents because I don't have them anymore. To everyone who is going through a divorce, I would like to say, there will be days when you will feel loneliness to the bones, but no feeling lasts forever, and this too shall pass.
I went through TWO divorce and one husband passed away. I didn't come from a home with love and only knew toxic. Got married the first time just to be out of the house. After the second, took a decade to try and heal the best I could. We didn't have the internet and access to these videos for help
Sure missed my deceased parents when I went through betrayal trauma with 3 kids.
💯 I also was going through mourning the death of 3 close relatives too. It was like a black hole I couldn't get out of.
@@KH-nt7ej Me too… unbearable without their support. Nobody that’s not walked in those shoes has a clue!!! And absolutely no right to judge.
Seeing these comments about divorce…you all just validated my feelings…whew! No one else around me ever really understood me or just blew it off and told me just suck it up and quit acting like a baby. I didn’t realize until just now that I am/was “setting” with/“processing”, those bits of my truth…my experiences, that indescribable burden of my heart. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. This literally is feeling like the kind of release I get from EMDR. You released something that I long forgot was there. So cathartic ♥️🥹
Really sympathize for the caller, sending him a big hug and lots of prayers🙏🏼 Divorce for many people is like experiencing an actual death…a death of a relationship. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
That's right! I feel bad for him! Hope he will get the strength and courage from Almighty God!!!🙏🙏🙏
So true. 😕
sometimes worst than actual death because, how to grieve when he/she’s not dead?? …? but, you have to let go? very horrible!
@@mandalyem in see so
@@mandalyem I 100% agree and I'm dealing with that now, there is no closure like death gives, she's still out there and trying to see other people while my world has ended
When my longtime relationship ended I focused on physical exercising because I knew that I had no way to fix the way I felt emotionally. It was a grieving process that couldn't be hurried. So I focused on what I could control - my body being healthy even if my mind wasn't. It helps to work out - you burn out the anxiety and it helps you sleep if you are physically tired. I suggest daily walks or runs in the nature. I think outdoors heals the soul more than indoor exercise.
I also trained my dog to become a theraphy dog at that time, so we could help others. Helping others helped me.
How do you train a dog to be a therapy dog?
@@blueseptember2174there are dedicated organizations that put the handler and dog through a series of trainings. The reputable organizations will provide insurance as part of the yearly fee. My wife and I have been handlers for over 10 years with two different dogs. Great way to serve your community.
Sounds like a bit of an eating disorder dieting / exercising because that’s what you can control that’s exactly what happens hopefully you didn’t take it too far
I wish more people did this bc it helps well beyond just your physical body. The emotional stability exercising brings is amazing.
@@blueseptember2174the same way you train him to sit... Repetition and reward.
i was relieved when he said no kids with her
Yes, that would make it even tougher so at least he can keep his distance from her
It's okay to never stop loving the person you were once married to. Give yourself the permission to do so and don't fight it. The intensity of the love gradually fades.
So very true! Great advice. I've lived it.
Not always. Some people choose to love only one person for the rest of their lives, and some never at all.
I agree with the above except the fading part ❤
Weird how TH-cam always recommends the exact John Delony call I need to hear, when I need to hear it.
She had an affair. She does not want to be with you. She rejected you and the relationship probably without talking to you. She took the easy way out. It's time to grow as a person. You should learn to love compassion and mercy for yourself.
I feel this guy, it's heartbreaking for everyone who has to deal with the most intimate betrayal you can experience.
I appreciate this dudes dedication to self reflection
My heart breaks for this man. Heartbreak is one of the most excruciating things to experience. I really do hope he puts his healing first. God bless him🤗
So true. I’d rather break my arm, heals much faster!
@@hikerhobby1204 heart break fucking sucks
This was good advice, this is an example of why we need to work on our individual selves before getting into a relationship so we can go into the relationship whole instead of broken.
I don't identify as divorced, I do identify as liberated from an abuser and the tyranny that marriage becomes by the state
Unless a person is legally single, they are widowed or divorced. You are a divorced woman.
@@texan903 ...and your point is??
@@candyluna2929 re-read what I wrote, you might get it. If not, re-read it two or three times and it might improve your comprehension.
@@texan903 yes but your comment is pointless. I never said I wasn't divorced. The point of my comment is that I don't feel bad about it and is not a weight on my shoulders bc I am free from the ah. So your comment was pointless.
@@candyluna2929 It was simply an observation and a fact, so, no, it was not pointless just because you were annoyed by the comment. You wouldn't have responded if you thought what you said was true.
I wouldn't wish the trauma of divorce on anyone.
Only on my ex wife I wish the trauma.... Lol
@@em7937 truth!!
Me either, but, it's easier than an abusive relationship.
@@mightymouse1005not much
Dovorce isn't always bad.
I was relieved when my parents divorced. Our family dynamic was unhealthy and suffocating becuase of their issues.
The divorce rate is 50% so there's a lot of divorced people! No shame about it, it happens. I love Dr. Delony's answer to anyone who want to dig into why you're divorced: "My wife cheated on me. And I'm a person of character and standards and I believe that our covenant stands for something. My wife violated our covenant. Love her, good friend, good human, but violated our covenant so I'm not going to remain there." That answer right there will make any good woman fall in love with you! It says you have character, you don't believe in cheating, and you are not bitter, but in a good space." Dr. Delony, you're awesome!
That's what happened so that's what you say ❤
He is an overthinker. That's a hard life.
Most people are
No😂 @@MrRaErickson
Been there man. It takes TIME plain and simple. After a few years you’ll come to the conclusion you’re gonna be ok. Cut off all communication so you’re not still in her life, that’ll force you to find a new one and she won’t be in your head as much.
Thank you for saying years Willy! I thought I was strange because several relationships have taken me years to heal. I’m a female, however, I think we all hurt equally.
I agree with Hiker Holy. Thank you for saying after a few years. A lot of people are not honest about that.
My favorite answer for "are you married" is, "no - have been there but not now ....and you?" I lived in a time when being divorced was, as John put it, "the scarlet letter." It was miserable and it no longer has to be. This caller still feels broken and I feel for him. I hope life blesses him with another, better true love.
It should be a Scarlett letter. Bring back stigmas.
No, there's a reason why it isn't. Otherwise, it's not fair to callers like him. It takes two to tango, remember? The real stigma ought to be shaming others when you don't even know the whole story and it's nunya bidness.@@WillIam79-c7f
@@WillIam79-c7f Screw that. It's not your fault if someone else cheated on you and now you have to wear the letter.
It takes time to heal and move on. Time is everything.
All the best to the caller. So many men need to listen to this. Its rare so rare to see this well explained. Men also have feelings and from high school to adulthood and many of us get burned and never recover.
Thats a personal issue, not a male issue
@@racheltarentino3314Women have better support systems to help them navigate the post breakup wastelands. Also, it's more socially acceptable for women to openly grieve for extended periods of time. Men don't have these luxuries. It's not a personal issue if many men share this experience.
I had something end after 32 years. Maybe I was addicted to love myself because after all I wasn’t really treated very well. You need to get this divorce stuff settled with your ex and go no contact. No social media, no nothing. Any of it will be bad for you. It might be a tough couple of years at least but it gets a whole lot better brother. ❤
If they don't have children, there's no reason to communicate or check in them. Wish them well and live your life
To the guy who called, if you read this, know that your pain is not going to go away by some magical way, it will take time and eventually when you find the right person all the pain will go away.
You might think she was the right person, but she wasn’t. She cheated emotionally, maybe even physically. Maybe she was the right person 5 years ago but not at the end. Work on your body and get busy. It will take time but you will one day be happy again. I’ve been there.
He doesn't have to find the right person for all the pain to go away. That's the mentality and type of relationship he is trying to remove himself from. Just focus on yourself and loving yourself. Other people come second. Because, trust me, you are secondary to other people.
You will get there to the place where you are good with yourself. Keep going.
He appears to be such a lovely person. I wish I could find someone like him someday.
Falling out of love with someone and cheating are two VERY different things. One does not equate the other. That's where commitment comes in. The "love" is not a feeling. It's an action.
Correct, love is a verb, which means it’s an action.
Come on, most people don't actually fall in "love" before marriage. It's ok to realise you're incompatible and part before you have kids. Sticking around and calling love action and all isn't going to make a incompatible person with vastly different values, compatible with you. Worse if they refuse to go to therapy.
@@rpaafourever7908 I should think that most people marry people they're in love with.
So sorry you have to go thru this. Don't do anything rash. Grieve the loss of your marriage but you have to let go. Be kind to yourself. Forgive her but don't forget what she did. Be involved at work. Spend time with friends and family. Do some things you enjoy, like gardening, or a sport, or a hobby.
This guy sounds very insightful. I think he’ll be okay. It’s going to take time to heal from something he spent so long on after it’s ended but it sounds like he knows what to do. Just go easy on yourself. It’s normal to grieve yo
Gosh I so relate to this guy and wish I could give him a hug because that is some of the deepest darkest pain to hate yourself and trying to find your way out of that to healing
Hearing how strung up on a women who cheated on him is frustrating.
Yes, because I bet she’s not near as strung up on him.
Oh man! I wish I could give this guy a hug!
My heart breaks for 10 year-old Alex. I hope he can find inner strength. He deserves to be happy.
I had to learn to sooth myself. When I’ve gotten upset, I see myself giving my 4 year old self a hug. I then look and tell that 4 year old self, “Hang in there, everything will be alright.”
And its time what helped me is that i recognized i fixated on the man i thought i married dreamed about who he was but he wasnt i had to learn that i didnt love him i loved the man i build in my head a fantasy. You have to stop living on the fantasy and see the reality. For me it was easier to live in the fantasy and grieve for the loss of it then to deal with the reality that he really really hurt me allow myself to feel that no matter how much it hurts and gradually i have been able to let go and move on. We dont just grieve the person we lost but all the hopes and dreams and wishes that we lost to.
Man I clocked in 8 seconds after this was uploaded. Can't wait to watch!
I've spent the last 3 years healing codependency after an abusive childhood and a 5 year codependent relationship. I've come a long way, and it's cool to be able to recognize it and name it so immediately now, both in myself and in others. The more aware you are, the more you can step back when you recognize it in yourself and pause long enough to make a different choice, to shift out of that mindset. I had zero self esteem 3 years ago, and now I can say Im probably 80% there. I have a little bit of work to do still, but the progress is there. I recommend journaling, because recording your growth means you're able to look back and actually SEE the healing.
Thank you for giving me hope.
Treat her like a celebrity and she'll treat you like a fan. This man forgot about himself and put his ex wife on a pedestal. Never put anyone above your own well being. How can anyone respect you when you don't even respect yourself?
That's exactly the problem here. People don't love themselves
@@angelcare5969 new gen of a women is 💩 doesn’t even mater 💯
As he was explaining their relationship I felt like he was stiffling that she ran away . He has to love himself
This man was not co-dependent, that’s BS! He was in love with his wife. I’m sure he made his share of mistakes but she left him for someone else, that was not his doing. She is an adulteress woman and that’s on her.
I didn’t really get how he got that, and he came to that conclusion right away. He just sounds heart broken. This is still so fresh.
He said “my life revolved around her, her happiness was my happiness, she was the center of my world” those are key terms. Not every man who is in love with their wife will use those phrases
@@mamat1213 that’s how a marriage is supposed to be though. My husband and I are each other’s world. I couldn’t live without him and I know he feels the same about me. She cheated and clearly they had very poor communication. You don’t just grow apart. You allow that to happen. Love is hard work. Not mere feelings
That’s right. I follow a young woman here on TH-cam who just announced her divorce over the same issue; her husband was too codependent and she felt suffocated 🙄. He moved to the US for her and saw her as his best friend! I know she’ll regret years to come.
remember, we are only hearing one side.
I really liked Jon's take on divorce becoming your identity. I definitely felt that. You feel the shame of being a divorced person, even though there is no shame at all. You get pretty down on yourself and it takes hard work to come out on the other side.
This was a touching call.
Going back to school and learn something new like a music instrument, carpentry, properties realty… something that take a good chunk of your brain. That really helps.
Infidelity is always their fault. Brother she was the problem and she’s gone.
What? Infidelity is always whose fault?
@@reginasemenenko148 The person that commits it. There is no excuse for cheating. If you are unhappy with your relationship then you leave. You don't cheat. People always come up with a million excuses on why they won't leave instead of just doing it.
@@zariaeda007 I would add a caveat and say if you’re “unhappy” in your marriage, communicate like an adult and work like an adult to make it joyful. Joyful marriages aren’t given, it is earned through hard work and daily intentionality.
@@GabrielMartinez-sd8pc Yes but I think when you're at the point that you're looking for somebody else it's already over. At that point you should be leaving instead of cheating. All that's going to do is make the eventual breakup 10 times worse.
@@zariaeda007 That is what I said. My husband and I have been fine for 20 years. Neither one of us have cheated as we believe marriage is exclusive.
I wonder if your ex is a narcissist. Sometime "chasing the ghost" is because the person you were with projected the person you wanted to be with...and then over time their mask started to slip and they changed into the person they were all along and you wanted her to change back into the person she portrayed herself to be to *get* you in the beginning...but that person didn't exist. (Of course, I could be wrong)
Alex...my husband dealt with weight when he was younger, too. It's a wound, and those wounds follow you.
I'm glad to hear that you're loving on 10yr old Alex and that you're still in therapy ♥️
My hubby and I are sending you some prayers! Just know that you deserve someone who won't cheat and who will work through the bumps together, KNOWING the two of you will become stronger in the pathway _through._
Best of luck, Alex ♥️
That’s interesting.
Me ex totally changed back to who she said she was in the beginning.
I don’t believe this was her hiding anything or putting on a mask.
Just the spell of love that we were both involved in.
I was asked a few years later if I think I’d ever get back with her.
(Because we were so good together)
I said she’d have to go back to who she was and then found myself say “then so would I”.
This was a breakthrough moment as I realised I was not the same person I was 11 years prior.
I’m happy to say we are back on good terms with no hard feelings.
I respect and cherish the time we had together. I’m very humbled that we can allow this to transpire if we allow it to.
narcissist and codependent - classic toxic partnership
This is true. It’s very hard to see myself as being divorced. Awful feeling.
It's a lot less difficult if you're happy not to be with your ex any more.
Powerful.... From Dr. Delony and the caller Alex.
"Codependent". God wasnt joking about "two become one flesh". He did exactly as he was supposed to, she was not. I pray he heads to church and gets the support he needs.
This is excellent. Thanks for bringing up one flesh- so very true.
Being codependent is unhealthy. People should stop taking things so literally.
Church was how he ended up here. It sure as heck isn’t going to get him out of it.
Codependency has nothing to do with a healthy marriage relationship God intended. It comes from trauma and unhealthy attachments from early childhood. It's like Dr. John mentioned it's an addiction, an obsession with a person.
Codependency is the worse thing you can do in a relationship. For all you know he may have suffocated her with alot of emotional burden. Stop judging people through the lens of religion. You werent in the relationship to know.
Probably this was the best epizod ever! I'm so glad I found your channel!
Don't use another woman to get over this.
it’s hard for me to be upset when someone is just revealing who they really are. dare to love again. we only live once. can’t control what anyone does however we must always remember to love and court our wives at all times before someone else does.
Me and my ex was together 8 years took me about 2 years into my next relationship to really be over her it’s hard to realize that you can love someone more than that and your new wife can love you more than the ex did
So why didn't you wait until you were over your ex before getting into a relationship? It took 2 years into your new relationship to get over your last, that's a long time.
Chad and Tyrone are spending time with your new wife. You will see soon enough she doesn't love you
@@darrengeorgetown6758 dude ur dumb me and ribby are long lost twins I found the .00000001 percent of good women but I used to be a simp
@@annie6891 takes along time to trust females after they visited chad to believe you wasn’t the problem women are hard to see the grass greener on the other side till you over there eating it lol
I’m glad atleast you’re over it. Yeah I’m just over 1.5 years myself and FINALLY feel like I can be over it and I’m barely thinking that it’s possible to be open to someone else. We need as much time as we need to heal and everyone is different. Wouldn’t feel right to be healed any sooner than what it took me
This was a beautiful video. Great advice and so much compassion demonstrated by Dr John.
The Sun and the Planet reference. Jeeze dude. Grab a bag, pack some workout clothes, see you at the GYM. Get after it brother! Focus on yourself king 🤴 be the man you've always wanted to be!
This reference is great, just show s how much he loved his wife. But of course we should love ourselves first not other people
I think he meant to say solar system lol the universe??
This dude should not be married. He has no clue how to love himself so he can't love anyone else in a healthy way. He needs to find himself. It's a not a quick journey but it's worth it
Man or woman, we can relate to this situation. Betrayal is a hard trauma to overcome. Working on self is the best healing. Learning self and letting go of all labels and unhealthy patterns to progress. Loving self is key.
Thanks for sharing a bit of Your story Alex, actually inspirational in a way, keep going with your head up man!
Letting go is hard. I feel his pain and frustration
Dr. Delony talked about volunteering. It seems like the best opportunity for Alex to devote time to others, would be to helping children who suffer from severe handicaps.
Letting go of past relationships is so difficult for me
I love this…I divorced my ex husband after he told me the wasn’t coming home and had backup supply…I relate with this codependency so much. The cards analogy made me laugh. I’m three years out and I’m still holding on even though I know it’s not logical.
How are you still holding on?
The “relationship” is OVER. Move forward. That’s it!
so much of this is me, I lost her 4 years ago and still love her. i made so many mistakes, i have serious mental health issues... its abattle.
Are you working on your problems?
I could totally agree how you feel my friend been-there-done-that and I want they're not hard Road and still going down but with the help of friends and activities it goes away in time you'll feel a lot better good luck to you
Talking once a month is too much talking. No wonder he’s in pain and can’t let go. It’s super hard to cut all ties.
"I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star
In somebody else's sky, but why, why, why
Can't it be, can't it be mine" now off yo listen to this song
I’m going through a breakup right now, and not doing well. We needed to build something new, but then a whole bunch of horrible things happened in her life that I won’t get too deep into because it’s her business. We broke up before the last of these things happened to her, but I helped her work through it anyway. The hardest thing right now is that I feel like if I give up hope that we will be able to figure it out, I will lose all security I have which I can’t afford as a law student a month away from exams. But I’m also making it so much worse by holding on, because if she moves on before me I’m going to be destroyed. I’m seeing a therapist now thankfully
I wish I could send this video to my recent ex so he could understand why I can’t be “friends” - he can’t move on and it’s not because I think he and I wouldn’t try in the future, but that we have to let the past versions of ourselves die, we are not those people anymore. I’m going through a need for isolation to heal and so does he, but he distracts himself with being a better man for “me” but this sets him up for failure, his failures makes him insecure and his insecurities get projected on to me. So this becomes very toxic for me. Toxic for him too, but he can’t see that.
It’s like the butterfly effect movie where he tries different alternative outcomes so that he can prevent the death of the love of his life. But the only outcome that saves her life is the outcome where they do not end up together. So that’s the path he knows he has to take. THAT is unconditional love, but to accept that, you have to believe you deserve it too.
In short, this is hard and it’s ok to admit that and work through it openly.
12 years and I still love my ex. Moved on and made a good life, but I will always love her.
How to do it? And does the missing them always wear on your health over time?
@@blueseptember2174 For me, I have worked to redefine what happy enough means.
You nailed this analysis, Dr. Delony. 🎯
I would marry the first guy in a heartbeat: humble, self-aware, loving😢
11:35 - 12:00 that was pure poetry
Who could fall out of love with this guy?
Cheating is not an excuse though.
I hate the term “love addiction” because it sounds so good 🤤 ❤️
I’m so baffled how John always turns the conversation on the guy and tells them to take ownership. His adulteress ex wife is the one that broke their vows
You can only change you and not the other person. He definitely cannot do anything to keep the other person from being cheated but the way his heart is breaking, he needs to work on himself for his own sake and his future relationships. That’s the only way to move on so well that his ex wishes she never left.
He has too. This is about him now, not his ex wife. He can’t do anything now but move on with his life and focus on himself
ownership of our own behaviour is the key to overcoming challenges in life
John turns the conversation to whoever is calling in about whatever the CALLER can do. This guy ANNOUNCED HIS OWN PROBLEM HE WANTED HELP WITH. He said he is unhealthy and put too much of a burden on his ex (even though she chose to be a scuzzy cheater).
It happened to me too 😢 and I still love him.
Sad story, so sorry brother. Hopefully, people see the signs are always there. It started off with being together for so long before being married and then no kids it's a huge red flag. I don't know...
It’s sad when one still hangs on to an ex spouse. There’s no easy fix to letting go of the feeling.
He is a good guy
Is anyone here a healed up Alex? What are some practical tips you took to go from tolerating yourself to then liking yourself?
Isn't John from Texas?
Damn, this guy resonated harder than almost any other on the show. And I've never been married or even close lol
This guy is a prime example why cheating should be treated and recognised as a top form of domestic abuse by the legal divorce system and there should be legal consequences for partners who cheat in marriage.
Having been a victim of a cheating wife myself I can tell you it`s devastating also as bad as being physically abused.
The worse part is people don`t understand how bad this is unless they have experienced this themselves and most often cheated on spouses are left to deal with this alone.
As a wife that was physically abused and also cheated on, I can tell you the cheating is not as bad as them attacking you. But it is still awful in and of itself. But no, they are not comparably bad.
Cheating is hurtful. A huge betrayal. My father cheated on my mom (and frankly our family). Beneath all of that, my father was a closeted gay man.
Other people I know who've cheated were abused as kids.
God commands us to pray for our enemies, for a good reason. Alcoholics' Anonymous says it bluntly, "Pray for the SOBs for 30 days."
Not gangsta John ready to show up and go ham.
One of his last questions... My answer would be no, I'm single. Why should one marriage define me, my persona, my mind, my whole life. Yes I went trough it, ok, but I am me. If someone wants to know more about me, and we make some conmection, I would tell them...
The worst part of forgiveness is the victims' burden to extend forgiveness. This guy has dealt with struggling to forgive since he was 10 years old. Couple that length of time with a cheating wife!?!?! He naturally goes inward and places blame on himself for her infidelity. There is nothing worse than a lying, manipulative, conniving, self centered narcissist who gets their fill from someone of the opposite sex within the confines of a relationship, either in marriage or serious dating. That person that I've just defined has got to be closest thing to a demon on earth in human physical form. Period.
My advice would’ve been red pill it, accept it and feel the pain…and stop trying. Let life unfold and just go for the ride ;)
You can’t move on. You can only grow.
Push back on "it takes 2 to tango" and "6 of one and half dozen of the other". The common narrative is -"the divorce is both their fault" which is usually rubbish.
One was betrayed and other is a betrayer!
It worked for one party it didnt work for the other party, one party saw advantage in divorce , one not so much. The dynamics are usually obvious but we choose not to see it. We don't want blame, we dont want shame we don't want personal responsibility. We cant even discuss the subject truthfully. Until this is framed how it used to be, no solution.
For those betrayed, great sympathy and support, for the other 50% ... shun them, opportunists and predators.
At least he’s not dating a new girl, instead of feeling it.
I’d once thought I’d met this amazing man who’d been divorced for 6-7 years.
Ex wife was still calling texting and then I found his car her driveway at 2 am when he’d said he was visiting his adult daughter.
Why did he bring me into the BS. So weird.
Now I think of him as a liar, a cheater, fake soul, not real, repulsive, etc etc.
she can have him. Why’d 300lb woman divorce him?!! Lol
Now I know exactly why.
Find a hobby. Something you've never done and try it, you may like it and stick with it. Certain things you will try and may not like. That's ok too. If you have not done so, develop a stronger prayer life (if that is what you believe). She's gone and moved on. So should you
Us single women will be accepting of good single men entering the market.
Omg a therapist threw the love addiction diagnosis at me and I thought that was super judgemental. I guess I just don't identify with that being a negative when the whole world wants to be loved. Idk this guy sounds super emotionally healthy to me.
Keep up the good work.
She did not fall out of love and then went after another man, women usually find a replacement and then withdraw from their spouse. Weak men try to do everything to please their wives And keep their own self as a second priority. That's where she stops respecting you.
I feel the same way and I asked God send me a sign if you want me to be a pastor and this is the sign he sent….so take what you can….
I hear this caller. Middle aged and single without kids
Another casualty of living together first….those relationships usually end in divorce
Thank you for getting to the heart of the issue in such little time. I wish I had a therapist like you.
I don't know why people keep perpetuating this myth that the first high is always the best. That's totally not how it works lol