ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 31 ก.ค. 2019
- Bill rambles about making super humans, fighting styles, and protest violence.
Full Episodes of the Monday Morning Podcast: bit.ly/2nAzwGV
Full Episodes of the Thursday Afternoon Podcast: bit.ly/2mTA6Cy
Full Episodes of the MMP One-Shots: bit.ly/2oNClY2
Here’s the website! billburr.com
I was born a freckled child in a land far away during a much simpler time. I did well in school until it counted. As a freshman in high school I had dreams of going to Notre Dame and becoming a lawyer. By the time I was sophomore I was taking shop class and was considering getting into construction. I ended up working in warehousing and unloading trucks. Other than stand up, that job was the most fun I ever had.
I am now a stand up comedian. I do a couple hundred shows a year. And I enjoy the travel. I’ve done four hour-long stand-up specials: “Why Do I Do This”, “Let It Go”, “You People Are All The Same” and “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way.” I host a podcast each week called The Monday Morning Podcast. And I have an animated series on Netflix called: ‘F’ Is For Family.’ Occasionally I act in movies but only when they let me. - ตลก
cracks me up when Bill reads the advertiser instructions out loud "host to talk about a time when he hurt his balls"
You always wonder if hes for real or just clowning for us :)
One of um almost leff the sac thereee lmao
Time stamps:
00:00 - Intro ( summer is not over yet)
1:34 - Boomers as parents
5:00 - Jeffrey Epstein talk
6:42 - History of mixed martial arts
16:00 - Billy red balls watched The day the 60s died
25:45 - Some more great ad reads
36:12 - Transition to Billy's greatest hits
38:01 - Bill sings about Canada
39:53 - Women should stay at home ( im sure Nia loved that one)
46:09 - Montreal comedy festival
1:01:23 - Email from a braud (comedians are just whiny bitches)
1:05:08 - Email from a gay guy
1:07:31- Email asking for some of Billy's amazing advice for some weirdo sex shit
1:15:13 - Asking for advice on how to woo a girl featuring Nia
1:36:51 - Wet t shirt competition, overrated or underrated ?
1:40:34 - Gene Hackman, underrated ?
1:43:37 - Joe DeRosa, underrated ?
1:44:47 - Chicks with big noses, underrated ?
1:46:26 - Nia and Bill argue if women should just be stay at home moms
1:54:04 - Outro song
I love all you cunts, have a great day.
Up you go!
You are a hero
you're a saint
Awwh nice one, mate!.
Expecting you to do this every week now. Thx dude
Why I Love Bill Burr: He's who we all want to be. Not pretentious, or hate-fueled, or biased. Just a guy, doing his best to be honest to himself and others...And who could turn absolutely anything funny as hell.
You know what I’ve been into lately? Bridges
😂
Haven’t we all.
“For Monday August 1st” Bill you just gave me a heart attack.
WhAt ThE fUcK dId YoU dO tOdAy?”
Oh I went shoppiiiiiiing...
For meeeeeeeeeeeee
Gots me them booooots
saw this as he said it
1:13:14 "in the background you hear *fapping sounds*" dude, that was so randomly hilarious I fell off my chair backwards laughing
Old Monk same
Old Monk 😂😂
Bro I said exactly the same thing about the same part. I fucking lost it 🤣🤣🤣🤣
How did he even do that effect? LMAO.
9:21 “I’m just gonna go with this confidently, reassuringly and.. whatever the third word is that means confidently”😂
Do you ever do small l.a. things big fan just wondering
Does bill burr still do small venues
Lol bill burr is such a great guide for life lol of a decent asswhole
James Ramirez I’m not sure I’m not from la haha.
I know I'm blowing through the 60s but this is *essentially* what happened. Love ya Billy.
He didn't even mean that. Perfect ahahaha
This was a great one. Almost ran off the road when he was talking about the 60s.
I’ve had a rough fucking day and listening to Bill ramble has made this shit so much easier to get through. Thanks Bill
RIP Eddie
3:50 Ernest Heamingway with the deamons in your head 😂😂😂😂
hdjadaj fdjhkfshfks What is a “deamon”? Lol 🤔
@@spongeblonde1309 😁
Lex Luthor = mean Mr Clean, that was a good one
Idk if I can ever call him Lex Luthor again
i know i can't @@baringozi2214
You are literally the best podcaster today. I love the content and i gotta give a watch to that 60's documentary. I love everything about the 60's.
Lol
im in donegal and im tired at work everyday because of your videos keeping me up all night laughing lol
"Asians are the Italians of martial arts, except it's not food, it's fighitng." -Billy Deep Thoughts.
Martial Arts was created in Africa, thousands of years before the 1st African migrated to the Asiatic region... Hotep!
@Sam Choy You're Wrong, boy...th-cam.com/video/AHr4ekIq2HQ/w-d-xo.html
@abandoned failer Fake Account Trolls, Go Fuck Yourselves.......'You People',,,, LOL...They're your ancestors, too, dumb-asses....LOL
.
I knew this would be the top comment. Knew it
I wish I could forget what day it is, Bill's living the freakin dream!
Bill Burr’s “Monday/Wednesday morning podcast” always on time billy
You know Bill's getting old when he is fascinated by bridges..
Not Jeff Bridges either.
"Ol frick n'frack almost left the sack.."!! I am so envious of your wife and kid dude.. that they get to live with you and hear all the tangential, spontaneous and hysterical ideas that come from your brain.😂😊😂 you're the best man✌🍻
E
I met Bill Burr. This is a true statement. We lived next door to each other until I moved. Too much Bill's not enough real money..LIKE GOLD lol
"He needs to go out there and CRUSH SOME ASS!" Quote filed. 🤣
1.30am just in time Billy boy! But
I get the weirdest dreams sleeping to your podcast.
🥪🥪🥪🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪🥪 🥪
GET ON IT!!!!!
Were you being spanked?🤣🤪
@@amateuranth2796 getting spanked is weird to you, you must be the kind who is saying things like I love you, your hair is like the ocean, And traffic was bad but you had audio book on tape.
@@Basementjacks what? Lol
Capoeira is a Brazilian martial art designed to fight government soldiers, it’s a fighting style combined with dance so people could openly practice the martial art in the streets without being discovered
Mac & Cheese that was hilarious when he reffered to that
Lol im loving the peptalk for the virgin guy. You can hear Bill actually hyping himself up in the process lol.
20:33 had me stopped what I was doing and just erupt in laughter
I love listening to you Bill.
Your laugh is the best laugh ever!
19:40 funniest shit ever. The pretend wife slap hahahaha funniest shit ever
David Carradine on "Kung Fu:"
Wait for it ...
Wait for it ...
Wait for it ...
Wait for it ...
Wait for it ...
Wait for it ...
Wait for it ...
Wait for it ...
One minute left in the show...
OK, go.
28:00 most red pill best advice I have ever heard! This is my personal timestamp. I love you, Bill!
Buddy I'm a brown guy living in winnipeg mb canada born in bc... here cause of wife ... your the best thing since dave Chappelle thank you
Hey Reddy Mercury where is the Monday Podcast 08/05/2019?
Steven Bertram same here man. That’s why I’m here. Found your comment. I don’t have any other social media other than TH-cam. Anyone know what’s up. Hahahah need my billy red balls fix
David Kimowitz, a comedy club owner, was murdered over the weekend and Bill decided not to do a podcast so soon after. He said it on his Twitter. I don't know if that applies to the Thursday podcast though
Loser McGee thanks man!! I don’t have Twitter. But I saw a reddit post from bill. Somthin about a tragic loss. Makes sense. Thanks again 👍
Bill Burr brings u the essential 60's...available from time/life!
10:14 "First rule of fight club ..." Immediately came to the forefront of my mind.
We me & my son love your podcast thank you for the smiles
Hey Billy boo, right on time. That's my buddy 👍🤗
Hahah his bit on owning a business is gold😂😂
"walking around in their Nancy Regan suit, looking I'm doing stuff. " 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Listening to this in 2022 laughing my ass off while taking a shower
Jesus I never realized how short his attention span is😂😂
Who?.........Oh yeah Bill Burr 😂
@@williamsherman1089 is just saying she’s
Lets appreciate that Billy Bubbel Butt takes an hour two Times a week to record this to keep us fans Happy.
I love these down to earth talks, godam
I wish a few people did something like the bill burr podcasts
Frick and frack almost fell out of the sack. Killed me.
Bill Burr. You're much more than a comedian, you're a genius!
“Because of the demooooon!! 😂😂
Bill whispering "you gotta hurt them before they fucking hurt you" had me rolling lmao
bill's hey maaan always has me dying lol
Thanks for the pod casts
Great job again Bill. Thankyou 👍
I enjoy your podcast, you have interesting thoughts. Have a Great day, or dont, I'm not telling you what to do. xD
1:25:57 "you have to get off that last skank like 'what the fuck am I doing'" me 😂😂😂💀
Love the show Bill keep up the good work!
The feet of furiousness brother you slay me keep busting it out
24:00 lol "you ain't f'n workin, just watch the episode"
drinking at close to 6am. i cant think of anything better to be tuning into.
Thanks for the podcast Billy buccfoi.
"sitting with the demons in your head" . instant kill
Yo what’s the outro song? It’s pretty good
yes whats the song please
1:09:30 Targaryans have wed brother and sister for centuries 😂😂😂😂
He always catches himself. I have never heard him mess up the Thursday Afternoon Right Before Friday Monday Morning Podcast.
Subscribed - not sure what took me so long!
It's always getting a like and a comment when it's Bill Burrs podcast.
Amazing how you can feel so confident in being able to predict Bill's comedic comments then he hits you with "It's like your balls are cutting weight for a fight" about naturally sweaty people based on an ad read. It's great to know that after years of listening he can still throw a line in a second that will make you howl.
The way he says it kills me!
...seems like a lot of extra metal.
"Well, for meeeeeeeeee!"
You talk so much that i am so happy to learn english, thank you
Was having a fucked up morning.......after listening to this I'm good 😂😂😂 thanks Bill!
This was a good one 😂😂😂
20:37 wtf 😂😂😂
Joe rogan reads Google and thinks he invented it 👍
hes white what did u expect
@@Subject__ Joe rogan is not white!! He's a fake Caucasian 😄
When the 2011 portion started playing, thought I was listening to Gavin Mcinnes there for a second
Man that's exactly what my grandmother said, "the reason because the parents are both working "!!! She went through the depression but luckily she couldn't tell because they lived like you're supposed to.
David Carradine is the father of MMA 😂😂😂
If he should ever decide to pick up an alcoholic drink again, Bill needs to be on "Drunk History."
30:05 do they take foodstamps? Lol 😂
the guys you read adds for must laugh their asses off when they hear your reads, right before they cancel you lol.
Wow, I learn so many facts listening to you Billy 😐😉🤔😏😍
Just write it off in your taxes next year☠️🤣
The chemistry of bill n nia is so smooth and seamless, it's criminal.
Ol Billy History there!
Superb Bill!
I just found your pod cast good job keep it up.
Listening from New Zealand, we love you here
"you would get thrown in jail for doing something like that today"
that didn't age well 😕😳🤣🤣
1:35:20 ...im not taking you to the movies...b l o w m e😂😂😂
First 15 minutes is like an episode of Drunk History. Jesus, Bill.
Great 60s rant love it
The best part of this podcast is the Nia section at the end.
I really find listening to you try to read and speak super entertaining.
This was one hilarious, especially the throwback one. The people who e-mailed were crazy hahah. Also love the song at the end!
13:06 “All those pretentious cunts who just look up shit” 😂
A Great comedian is one who makes you laugh at yourself. Thanks Bill.
your podcasts are awesome
6 in the morning and I'm just hearing this woke me up out of a f****** sleep 😴
n3xt Tuesday is my first open mic. im a lil nervous but more excited to start my bombing campaign! i look like a bill burr, stone cold steve Austin lovechild and im way less funny than a two story outhouse... hope this works lol
good luck! go fuck yourself!
Break a leg asshole
you guys made my day! lol
Hey man, summer is great. Winter is coming and it’s gonna be super cold soon. Hey man, enjoy the weather.
Hahahah Bill, Mia Is kicking your ass!
Anybody have a link to Bill's performance in passionada?
1:56:55 if that isn't some moody blues inspired shit, I don't know what is XD
"Lex lugorr" lol
September 20 is my birthday. Thanks for hyping it there Bilbo Ballsack. =)