What to think about when you get into bed to help you relax and make sleep happen
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ก.พ. 2020
- If you find that it's hard to fall asleep at night because your mind starts racing as soon as you get in bed and you just can't seem to relax, it can be helpful to implement relaxation techniques such as breathing exercises or visualizations - as long as your goal is relaxation rather than sleep!
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If your mind continues to race and you are finding it hard to fall asleep, it can be helpful simply to recognize that you aren't sleepy enough for sleep just yet.
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So, with this in mind, often the best thing to do if you struggle with an overactive or racing mind at night is to make sure you are sleepy enough for sleep when you go to bed. One way you can do this is to implement sleep/bedtime restriction and follow a regular and appropriate sleep window.
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If you are sleepy enough for sleep when you get into bed then your mind will be less active and you will usually find it easier to fall asleep. If your mind starts racing, you just can't relax, and being in bed starts to feel unpleasant, get out of bed and do something relaxing and enjoyable until you feel sleepy again - then return to bed and see what happens.
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Getting out of bed when you are finding it hard to sleep helps build sleep drive and prevents you from reinforcing the idea that the bed is a place for unpleasant wakefulness. If you want your bed to become a strong trigger for sleep, you want to be spending most of your time in bed asleep rather than awake.
At the end of the day, you cannot make yourself sleep. However, sleep drive can generate sleep - if you spend enough time awake (in other words, as soon as you are sleepy enough for sleep) you will always sleep. The more you fill your sleep window with sleep and the less time you spend awake during the night, the less you will worry about sleep and the easier sleep will become. This will lead to a calmer and more relaxed mind when you get into bed at night.
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My name is Martin Reed and I am the founder of Insomnia Coach®. I offer sleep coaching services that give people with insomnia all the skills and support they need to enjoy better sleep for the rest of their lives. I also offer a free two-week sleep training course for people with insomnia at insomniacoach.com/sleep-train...
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All content found on the Insomnia Coach TH-cam channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
#insomnia
#sleep
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All content found on the Insomnia Coach TH-cam channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I understand, but this video was helpful
Listening to this guy puts me to sleep. Mission accomplished.
Thank you so much for this video.
My mind thinks of probably 10 differrent stories of the day. It also creates its own dramas. So I can't sleep easily.
An overactive mind can definitely make sleep more difficult - but sleep drive will always generate sleep when we've been awake for long enough. With all those stories being generated by your mind, perhaps you should consider becoming an author?!
@@InsomniaCoach Ik im one year late but I love how you gave him advice on a career just simply out of his behaviours. amazing thinking
whoa same i literally thought i was going crazy so glad im not the only one
Hi sir 😢I'm from South Africa , since last year I was struggling with insomnia, the anxiety to fall asleep was too much for me to handle ,then God answered my prayers came across your channel and bro it was a game changer , I've learned so much from your channel , thank you sir now I can easily fall asleep.
Im also from South Africa
@@PhilipCuber we are together in this homey
Wise, articulate and informative. Very helpful.
I hate how much sense it makes 😭
When we try to sleep our brain is actively working therefore that keeps us awake because it’s working and checking if were asleep- I just- the level of self sabotage this whole time…
I watch this video to relax
Haha 😂 If I wake up during the night. That would imply I can actually fall asleep
I have standard go-to guided imagery dreams I came up with to use to sleep to - usually around feeling safe and secure. Kinda like "night dreams" as opposed to day dreams.
This is so relaxing to listen too.
Thanks for sharing!
Thank you
You're welcome!
I think using a sound machine or just having your phone play nature sounds that you find relaxing can help. I don’t really have trouble falling asleep, but my husband does. We like “Babbling Brook” because we find the sound of water relaxing, and it helps us think of a peaceful mountain setting.
Thanks
You're welcome!
I've seen the recent "military technique" advising the person to say "don't think! Don''t think!" Seems the very opposite would happen. The mantra would only generate more thoughts. Better to get out of bed and read a book. Currently automatically reading after completing my journal entry, unless I fall asleep or it's too late to journal.
Just started implementing sleep restriction! I’m loving all these snippets!
My struggle right now is to staying awake until the start of my sleep window. I always get too sleepy before it :( any advice on what should I do before the start of my window?
@@3rd_iimpact Way to go starting sleep restriction, Nayan! Finding it hard to remain awake for the start of the sleep window is actually one of our goals in the short-term since it's evidence of heightened sleep drive. How are you getting on since you posted?
Martin, Thank you for the video. Would you have an advice how to deal with self-monitoring/forcing myself into sleep? I don't have much thoughts when going to bed and I am not trying to think about anything particular. I think I subconsciously self-monitor my wakeful status and I gently trying to push myself into sleeping state and can't get rid of this tendency. To give you better idea, if I would lie in a bed during daytime with expectation to just rest, my mind does not try to force sleep, but when I go to bed at night to sleep, this very gentle 'sleep forcing', an attempt to shut off kicks in. I think that what prevents me from normal sleep. In fact, when I add little bit of paradoxical intention, I have better chance to sleep, but the sleep is still not effortless in this case. Thank you.
Hello Ed and thanks for the great question! Sometimes it can be helpful to simply recognize that if you are finding it hard to fall asleep you are simply not sleepy enough for sleep at that time. So, if you are in bed and finding it hard to fall asleep, it can be helpful to get out of bed until you feel sleepy enough for sleep before returning to bed and seeing what happens.
It's perfectly fine to have thoughts when you are lying in bed - it's rarely helpful to try forcing thoughts out of the mind. It can be helpful just to recognize them as thoughts, just as you'd recognize clouds. They come and go, and they aren't a threat. They just are what they are.
As you pointed out, putting any kind of effort into sleep isn't productive since we have no control over when we'll fall asleep or how much sleep we might get. So, this is when it can be helpful to take advantage of the body's natural sleep mechanisms such as sleep drive.
Building a nice, strong, sleep drive during the day (by allotting an appropriate amount of time for sleep) can help overpower the arousal system and make it easier to fall asleep at night. As you start to recognize sleepiness and find it a bit easier to fall asleep, you might start to worry less about sleep and monitor for sleep a bit less.
I hope this helps.
Last 2 months was horrible. I couldn't able to sleep for more than 5 hrs a day. Im tired always ,body pain n head aches r there. I am a person who usually sleep 10 hrs constantly but this as changed from January. Last 2 weeks i started watching ur videos n tat kind of assurance is feeling gud to me . And i also think tat im not alone there are also people lik me . So these all changed me a bit . And sir wat could u tell to improve my sleep . And i couldn't put into words hw horrible was those dayss.. and please put more videos and thanks a bunch hh 💫❤
You definitely aren't alone! You might find it helpful to read this overview of CBT-I techniques and to implement any that you feel might be most useful to you, in your current situation: insomniacoach.com/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-insomnia/
every time I try to fall asleep I have a song stuck in my hear lol 😂
Hi Martin, great video. I am considering purchasing your course, i have been having issues with sleep for the last 4 months. Question on the sleep window: Let's say my sleep window is between 11pm and 5am. What do I do if I don't feel sleepy at 11 when it's time for bed? Do i extend the window and wait to feel sleepy, or do I attempt to go to bed at 11 regardless. I assume if i am on day 2 or 3 that I will be tired at 11, but what if I am not?
Thanks, and I will be in touch about the course.
If you know from experience that going to bed before you have a strong sense of sleepiness leads to a struggle with nighttime wakefulness, it might be worth delaying going to bed until you do feel a strong sense of sleepiness (you'd still keep the end of the sleep window unchanged). Sooner or later, sleepiness is going to show up!
If you know from experience that you often fall asleep before a strong sense of sleepiness shows up (or you feel quite comfortable with nighttime wakefulness) you might choose to simply go to bed when the sleep window begins.
Hi Martin, I’m wondering what the protocol
Is for when you’re sick and doing SRT? I slept like 10 hours for 3 day’s in a row when I was sick... I needed it - maybe you could do one that? Thansk!
When you are sick, listen to your body so you can rest and recover. Then, get right back into sleep restriction once you feel better. I think this is the video you are looking for, "What to do if you catch a cold / become unwell when implementing CBT for insomnia (CBT-I) techniques" - th-cam.com/video/ZuNK0IKOoUE/w-d-xo.html
I asked my 8 year old son this question. He said that he just casually gazes at his little night light and eventually dozes off. I tried it by gazing at one of the passage lights and although I didn't doze off straightaway, it was the first time I felt my mind empty. There's definitely some truth behind my son's method! Kids are seriously underestimated 🙂
There is so much wisdom and so many insights to be gained from our children! Thanks for sharing!
I am not sure if I am the only one, but getting out of bed as soon as I can't find sleep got my body used to this process. To the point that after 3 or 4 hours of sleep I feel that my whole body is ready to get out of bed, like I am rather harnessing a bad habit.
I wonder if you might be getting out of bed prematurely - what is your current cue for when to get out of bed? If you are awake in bed during your sleep window but you feel calm and relaxed, I think it's OK to remain in bed since conditions are right for sleep. If, however, being in bed feels unpleasant, getting out of bed is usually a more appealing alternative and prevents you from reinforcing a negative association between the bed and unpleasant wakefulness.
@@InsomniaCoach indeed, I think I followed your advice for about 2 weeks or so and I even if I still wake up for no reason, I am able to go back to sleep right after, which wasn't the case before.
Thanks again coach !
@@BigSocksProds This is great to hear - thank you so much for returning and sharing an update!
martin i have bipolar and when i dont sleep all night i have a mixed episode the next day and its horrific. i know i just gotta grin and bare it with the CBT i but damn its so much and its happened so many times :(
Sorry to hear that. Are you working one-on-one with a therapist?
What if you go days upon days with no sleep? This is my issue! I will go multiple days with zero sleep, I have this same problem with what to think about at night, I start off sleepy then im wide awake unable to get sleepy again. It’s horrible! I realize my anxiety is the read for this but it just comes in automatic. When I can fall asleep naturally I can get back to sleep if I wake up! But the falling asleep is my biggest issue, relaxation techniques don’t seem to work for me and I can’t find much to think about that isn’t forced, it’s very difficult. 😢 I can’t believe I’ve been in this struggle for 5 months now, I’ve watched the videos etc and I do things in my day and get thru it but doesn’t seem to help. There was a brief period of a few weeks things improved but now it seems like back to beginning the last few weeks. I miss my old self and life. Im at a loss.
@angelamillay how is your sleep now
Hi Martin Reed, recently, I haven't been getting sleep for the past around 40 hours now and my body dosent make me sleepy at all. I know that I can sleep but how do I sleep normally? I got 3 good night's recently but it became so hard to sleep after that. I also tried to sleep at the same times but they didn't work. Please help me. School is starting soon.
And when I'm almost falling asleep, my muscle twitches and I suddenly gain so much more energy for some reason. And It happens everytime. Please help me. Please
Going to bed at the same time isn't always helpful because a clock doesn't know when we are sleepy enough for sleep. What can be more helpful is having an earliest possible bedtime (so you aren't going to bed too early and setting yourself up for a lot of nighttime wakefulness) but only going to bed from that point on when you feel a strong sense of sleepiness. Then, try to get out of bed by the same time each day - regardless of how you sleep.
As for the muscle twitches, here's a video you might find helpful: Why you jerk yourself awake every time you try to fall asleep (and what to do about it) - th-cam.com/video/KFlxiXbYQag/w-d-xo.html
❤❤❤
I have been implementing CBTi for nearly 7 weeks and my sleep seems to be getting worse not better. I feel very despondent. My main problem now is still the issue of difficulty in getting to sleep. I have tried mindfulness whilst in bed but to no avail. Obviously I am not doing it effectively! Do you have any advice?
You might find it helpful to ask yourself whether you are actively trying to make sleep happen - are you engaged in actions with the intent of making sleep happen or otherwise getting rid of wakefulness? If so, perhaps that might be the source of your struggle.
you shouldnt have a target to sleep anymore. just forget about it. if you stay up, you stay up. it gets better
@@xyu610 Thanks for sharing! It can definitely be helpful to ensure any goals we set ourselves are goals we can control! If we set a goal that's connected to sleep we might be setting ourselves up for a struggle, because sleep cannot be controlled!
@@InsomniaCoach insomnia can be a blessing. its anxiety. journalling has allowed me to get so deep into the meaning of these anxious thoughts. conquering them has made me stronger. it naturally provides reassurance and makes you live in the present moment. soon youre just "normal" again and can sleep just fine. and it was all a phase.
i hope i dont sound insane to anyone. but i know some people will understand.
@@xyu610 You don't sound insane to me - many people have told me similar to what you've described. I think that when we emerge from any kind of struggle we are often a lot stronger for it.
I wonder how many people are watching these thanks to lockdowns and pandemic craziness
I am guessing quite a few!
What if by watching these videos, means that we're overthinking the situation and become tense before sleep..?
I think my videos can be helpful if you consume the information they contain and then use that information to implement changes that you feel might be appropriate for your situation. If you end up spending all your time researching, consuming content, and missing out on what makes life worth living, this channel could easily become completely counterproductive!
I will go a few weeks of getting good sleep then I will go a few days with little to no sleep. However recently I haven't been sleeping much at all.... I feel my health is deteriorating... it increases the anxiety to get sleep then it never comes. I need to relax but it's so hard.. I stay up so long my body goes numb
I think it's hard to *make* ourselves relax since relaxation is the opposite of effort! It's normal to experience temporary sleep disruption from time to time - what's important is how we respond to those difficult nights, because it's usually our response that determines whether that sleep disruption stays temporary or whether it sticks around for longer.
@@InsomniaCoach I've been laid off work for a month due to the plant shutting down and I've been sleeping quiet a bit. It's only when I work that I have a difficult time sleeping
@@jordanc1910 Why do you think that might be?
@@InsomniaCoach because I think I'm my mind "I have to be up in x amount of hours
@@jordanc1910 And what would happen if you don't fall back to sleep within x amount of hours?
What if I can sleep enough but can’t get enough deep sleep ?
I went through a period of work related stress that caused me insomnia, now I think my brain is associating my bed with not sleeping, even after the stress is gone, any tips to fix that?
The suggested approach to that would usually involve only being in bed when asleep - getting out of bed if you're awake for a certain amount of time (15-30 minutes or so). I think that can sometimes create more effort to make sleep happen, though - so I usually suggest changing the goal a bit.
Instead of trying to tackle any association between the bed and wakefulness (most people spend time awake in bed, after all!), your goal might be to tackle any association between the bed and struggle.
So, wakefulness is OK - but if you find yourself struggling with it, you might do something else (and you can do this in bed if you like) that will help you practice experiencing wakefulness with less struggle.
@@InsomniaCoach thank you!
@@nicoc7024 You're welcome!
So the only way I can fall asleep is if I watch tv because it stops my mind. I’ve been doing this since I was 10 I’m 35 lol 😂 it just takes my thoughts away!!!
Jesus You are light and your light dispels all darkness. Your radience shine like a beacon filling us with Your love, peace, power and presence. We love you Lord and await your return patiently. 🙏 🙏
Pffftt Lmao
I've had severe stress causing hypnic jerks, leading to sleepless nights. Even when I do sleep, I wake up at 2 or 3 am, then struggle to fall back asleep.
Here is the solution. Don't worry this will work.
Step 1
Massage:
1.Put some oil on your hand and rub it on the bottom of your toes.
2.Press the bottom of each toe from big toe to pinky toe, starting gently and increasing pressure.
3.Pinch the base of each toe gently.
4.Massage the entire bottom of your feet, including the ankle and heel, with oil
For each foot, follow these steps and use paper to soak up extra oil. Don't forget to wear socks. It's crucial. Use aromatic oil to prevent any bad smells from the socks. Make sure you have different socks for bedtime: ankle-length for warm weather and full-length for cold weather.
Step 2
Breathing exercise followed by meditation:
Breathing Exercise:
A. Posture:
When you're ready , either sit or lie down on your bed.
If you're sitting, ensure your back is properly supported for comfort.
B. Technique Working Principle :
Fold your thumb inward, tucking it inside your four fingers.
Then, focus on your breath and notice the airflow.
You'll observe that when you fold the left thumb, the airflow is more prominent in the left nostril, and vice versa.