How on earth Ronnie Barker can manage to do these sketches with not so much as a smile on his face is pure genius. He is arguably one of the best comedians that ever lived.
Possibly the best comedy programme ever put on tv - no swearing and brilliant writing. My father was often mistaken for Ronnie Barker and was asked for his autograph on several occasions - one fan was so persistent that my father ended up signing the beer mat on which his pint had been sitting and handed it over. Thank heavens it was years ago before mobile phones! When Dad died, we put his Ronnie Barker-style glasses on the coffin and our parting words were "And it's goodbye from us and it's goodbye from him!"
@@christopher-ke9nj Honourable maybe, but i just shared a another video of two Ronnies and stated that the only other comedic duo they were on par with is Laurel and Hardy, in my opinion Two Ronnies and Laurel and Hardy are miles ahead of Morecambe and Wise and Cannon and Ball
Ah, the beauty of TH-cam is that the legacy of these legends live on, to be enjoyed by generations not even born when The Two Ronnies was broadcasted. Many thanks for the upload 😊
What's great about a lot of their jokes was that the audience had to put a little work in themselves. Especially in a joke like this. When you suddenly get, there's the thrill of suddenly being on the same page as the comedian.
Well, here I am again leaving a second comment on this timeless masterpiece. My grandfather was a cockney born in the early 1920’s and when I was growing up, I remember him using a lot of Cockney rhyming slang in his normal conversation. Rewatching this just makes me die laughing and helps me remember happy times with my grandad. Ronnie Barker, I think, will always be remembered for being one of the truly great comedians of all time. I bet the whole team had a hoot making this one! Keep the old time alive, people. They were better times and people don’t take offence as they seem to today. The fun in life was always enjoyed and I for one, will continue to try and make light of dull situations.
My father was a soldier and we moved about alot I spent time in S.A and my nana lived in Elizabeth West lots of £10.00 POMS and I really did understand the slang. Lots of good musicians and Singers came out from England and settled in Elizabeth ....
I remember watching this when I was about six or seven. The Small Brown Richard the Third had me in stitches, to the point where I had to stick my fingers in my ears and close my eyes. The Two Ronnies and Morecambe & Wise were the best things about the 70s.
Not me. I realized it could be taken for bird or turd, and figured it was bird so the turd-leaning people would get a surprise, and because there would be more turd-leaning people because naturally it would have been funnier to associate Richard the Third with a turd.
Morcombe and Wise, The Two Ronnies, Peter Cook and Dudley Moore. The last in a line of comic duo's that go back to Laurel and Hardy (we'll skip Little and Large)
I remember seeing this sketch on the Telly when it first came out. So nice to see it again and take a trip down memory lane, although trying to work out Ronnie's version of cockney rhyming slang was a pain in the Gregory. He's been brown bread now for 15 years, but remains sadly knickers and twist.
Genius! Literally laugh out loud funny. There is more than one level of humour going on here. On the one hand he’s very cleverly using Cockney rhyming slang correctly but on the other hand he’s parodying the type of vicar who’s trying to connect with his audience using their language but he makes hilarious mistakes that only the audience recognises. Ronnie Barker really was something special.
There's a Dave Allen monologue where he tells us how the Irish turn the strong 'th' sound into a straight 't' sound, almost a 'd'. So Dave tells us that when the Irish pronounce 'these, that, this and those', it becomes: 'dese, dat, dis, & dose'. Then Dave tells us: "And it's even worse when they try and pronounce Richard the Third." Which is the way I twigged to what Richard the Third Cockney rhyming slang stands for.
This is a pure comedy genius it’s in every molecule of his being it’s his entire essence. These people should be cherished as they bring so many smiles and laughter to the world
It remains to our nations eternal shame that this comedy legend was never awarded a knighthood! I miss him so much! I still use “Small brown Richard the third” to this day! We shall not see the likes of his towering talent again! A two Ronnie’s Xmas special! Ah, memories!
Deborah Hallam Nowadays it's just "Let me tell you a long and rambling story about being middle aged and having kids and hope that it's funny along the way." Comedy these days is so inoffensive that it makes me sick.
Ratel.H Badger Frankie Boyle is Fantastic at stand up, but this is comedy acting, different set of skills required to achieve the exceptional brilliance of Ronnie B.
POPULAR modern comics, there's probably thousands of comics out there just as good as the Two Ronnies but they're not getting any of the limelight. And it doesn't help that people these days don't like having to use their brains a little to understand the comedy.
Not really as he had left the entertainment business and opened up an antique shop in a village, I remember ‘they’ set him up and tried to destroy him by bringing in an item to be valued when he made an offer that was under it’s proper value they accepted it only to go to the press and accuse him of being a dishonest crook, really disgusting behaviour by the media also with his son going to prison also around this time it took it’s toll and ruined him he died shortly afterwards I believe, such a sad shame!
Absolute Genius of writing, probably wrote by himself, under his pseudonym Gerald Wiley. A truly gifted comedian, and acting chameleon. When comedy meant comedy.
I love the two Ronnie's, I'm always amazed they could do it with the most serious look on their faces, true artists of their craft😁 And so it's goodnight from me, and it's goodnight from him, GOODNIGHT😆
Comic genius. And I'm an American! ( okay my dad was English, so I get it). Grew up on this and Benny Hill in the states, who you should be proud of, you guys, not ashamed.
This man's linguist genius was not fully unappreciated in its time When you look back at these skits, you start to appreciate how clever this man was in terms of word genius I don't know anyone today who even comes close to the word smith genius he was I know standards have dropped over the years but even so, this guy was indeed a word and linguistic genius Other skits like his cockney accent skit are just unbelievably clever and apparently he wrote all these tips skits himself, such was the genius of this man Whoever is uploading his material, thank you, I have not seen all of them previously and it reinforces my respect for the man even more
Always perfectly written and performed. They were geniuses these two. A particular favourite of my much missed father. The wordplay sketches were the best and the musical numbers hilarious.
Just came across a Spike Milligan war story where he calls a toilet attendant....a Richard The III Strangler...can't believe I found two versions of the same joke on the same night.
A classic piece of mis-direction by Ronnie B. He really was a consumate wordsmith. I liked his various "speeches on behalf of a worthy organisation" (eg "The Loyal Society for the Pispronunciation of Worms") sketches in the vaarious Two Ronnies shows. His two skills were first of all to write the sketches in the first place (often credited as pseudonym Gerald Wiley) and then to be able to perform them without even the slightest hint of a smirk when *he* was the one who knew what he was about to say - apart from pausing for audience reaction where necessary he kept a perfectly straight face.
I was born in east end ( aka bethnal green) and since I was tought rhyming slang as a boy, I understand every single word and the way Ronnie barker used it, it makes laugh out loud from my North and south every single time, # cockney rhyming slang, # bethnal green, # cockney boy, # st Bernards forever.
I understood the whole thing. We have a small amount of rhyming slang over here too. It was brought back to Ireland by returning emigrants years ago. I love the two Ronnies. They're a barrel of "wild Giraffes". I had an English friend over here and he told me that Stella Artois became Stella, then Nelson Mandela, then just "Nelson". So a pint of Nelson is a pint of Stella Artois. P.S. You'd wanna have a grapes, there's a pen off your plates. (grapes, grapes of wrath, bath, pen, pen and ink, stink, plates, plates of meat, feet)
Best of British comedy.. witty and clever without being vulgar... ‘tis a pity half the English speaking world would not understand it... something about knowing how to speak English but not really understanding it...
I had lived in western London for many years, and after college I got a job where some good chums kept talking in rhyming slang. Most of it I could work out... but was befuddled when they spoke of 'king and barns". Carns? starns? parns? Nothing made sense... until I learned that King and Barnes was their favourite beer.
This is such a funny sketch, Ronnie Barker was so talented. I remember as a small child, watching The Two Ronnies with my Dad. He would quietly laugh at the sketches. This has reminded me how funny and talented Ronnie Barker was, but it has also taken me back to memories of my lovely Dad. Oh, I have a confession to make…I got the Richard III rhyming slang wrong too😉.
I would pay good bees and honey to have as good a bubble bath as I got from this sketch, again. You're also doing pretty good to get this sketch if you are a septic tank 😉.
My grandmother was an East Londoner, so my Dad used to use the odd rhyming slang expression. I’m in Canada! I would ask him what he meant by, “where’s my titfer ?” Tit for tat, my hat.
Seeing The Two Ronnies, reminds me that here in Australia nearly 2022, Anglo Australians of a certain age and demographic, still use a significant amount of Cockney derived 'rhyming slang'.
I wonder if the septic tanks use it? You'd have to go a long way down the frog n toad, though you could give a ting a ling on the dog n bone. It's a long way on yer plates of meat, specially on yer Pat Malone. Hoo roo china.
@@greasylimpet3323 down the road....................................on your feet alone. Goodbye Mate. _At least some was right - from a dinkee die Aussie of anglo descent]
@@letsseeif same here. My dad always said the frog n toad, and if I did anything a bit clumsy he told me to get me plates of meat out of the way. I got threatened with the razor strop a few times too, but l luckily I never got a clout with it!
As a Yank, I didn't follow all of this, but I got enough to get some good laughs. I am, I expect, one of the few in the US who are familiar with The Two Ronnies, and I enjoyed watching the show when it was on PBS.
In order of what he said but not repeating the same slang he said before: He had no (Trouble and Strife) *wife* She ran of with a (tea leaf) *thief* He now lived with his eldest (bricks and mortar) *daughter* And being short of (bees and honey) *money* Unable to pay (Burton on trent) *rent* He was tempted to forth into the (Bristol City) *titty?* And see what he could (half inch) *pinch* Gone for a (ball of chalk) *walk* Buy some tobacoo for my (cherry ripe) *pipe* He would put on his (almond rocks) *socks* And his (dicky dirt) *shirt* And his (round the houses) *trousers* He set if down the (frog and toad) *road* His (how d'ya Dos) *shoes* was full of holes And his coat was (Westminster Abbey) *shabby* He also somewhat unclean to purchase some (Cape of Good Hope) *soap* His (bushel and peck) *neck* was extremely (two thirty) *dirty* To avoid the (pen and ink) *stink* His (north and south) *mouth* His (mince pies) *eyes* And he had a big red (I suppose) *nose* He is a (saucepan lid) *kid* 🐐 A loaf of (uncle fred) *bread* and a (stand at ease) *cheese* I need a new pair of (early doors) *draws* I'm in continual (george raft) *draft* He made his way to the (rubber bub) *pub* for a (Tumble Down the Sink) *drink* He became very (elephant trunk) *drunk* and (Mozart) *p**sed* When the landlord call (bird lime) *time* The man came back to his (cat and mouse) *house* Humming at (stewed prune) *tune* It came to (khyber pass) *arse* He saw a small brown (Richard The Third) *bird* but joke is people thinks its *turd* Laying there at his (plates of meat) *feet* And his rich (four by two) *jew* Put his hand into his (sky rocket) *pocket* and took out a (Lady Godiva) *fiver* For your (froth and bubble) *trouble* His daughter was sitting by (Jeremiah) *fire* on her favourite (Lionel Blair) *chair* I have more than enough to cover my (bottle and glass) *arse*
It's a great sketch, but you need to know that Ronnie made it easy for non-Rhyming Slangers. For example: You don't usually say the whole phrase. If you were going upstairs, you would only say, "I'm going up the apples".... leaving out the second part (apples and pears). Dialogue coming up of a possible scenario. 'I went down the boozer to see me old "china". He was in the "rub-a-dub" with his "trouble" and her "skin and blister" and those two birds can't half "rabbit". Well, just after I got me "pig's ear", a right tasty sort strolls in. Lovely "boat" framed by a cascading blonde "barnet", with deep blue "mincers". I was going to offer her a bevy, but I dropped me "cockle" on the "Rory" and as quick a flash she bent over to pick it up! Well, her "Bristols" were almost falling out of her "Dickie" and as she was bending I could see she had beautiful "Scotches" all the way up to her "Aris". I had me "jam jar" outside and I wasn't "Elephants", so I asked her would fancy going up the "frog and toad" to get some "laugh and joke". As soon as she opened her "North and South" I could tell she was a "Sherman Tank", but I didn't half fancy having her 'Plates" around me "Gregory". We headed for the "Gary Moore" and the Landlord calls me a "berk" and bets me a 'nifty' that this "Richard" wont play the Blue Vein Solo.....Goodnight from him, goodnight from me . ☻
Not sure which was first which second but I do remember a cartoon in a Punch magazine from I'd guess the early 70s. The vicar was in the pulpit saying: 'Today's lesson is from the Bermondsey Bible..... 'The Lord is my Spotted Leopard ........'
Yes, he did write this sketch. Got a book of everything he wrote - almost. Some of his work has sadly been lost (in writen form), and doesn't appear in it.
I'm 51 & was raised in the Appalachians, where there is a considerable, although ancient, Scotch-Irish ancestry. And some English as well. There may possibly have been some residual Cockney influence among some of the descendants of the people who emigrated there. Point is, while I have never heard of Cockney rhyming slang before (although I've occasionally heard it on TV, but didn't know what it was, except "Englishmen talking amusing nonsense") I seem to have a faint, wispy childhood memory of some old folks, possibly grandparents or someone(s), talking to me a little like this to amuse me as a small child. I just can't seem to put my finger on it. But I bet it was something passed down through the centuries and kept alive to amuse children with.
How can a couple of hundred years be 'ancient'? Why do Americans have to pretend they belong to other countries? You don't. And you annoy real Irish, Scots etc by doing so.
DuckDuck, think I've heard what you're talking about but I'll come back to that. First have to ask if you're familiar with the Ronnies' Jehosaphat and Jones characters/songs? Since you left such smashing comments on the library sketch, and are from the Appalachians, I don't want to risk your missing them! Utterly brilliant and here on youtube. Folk/country/hippie sorts (I can't do them justice but you'll recognise the type the moment you see and hear them!) - the music surprisingly 'right' paired with their usual ingenious word-play. The Scots-Irish background in your part of the world is fascinating; the speech and music are such clear carry-overs. It's probably not likely that what you heard as a child originated from rhyming slang, as that mainly developed round the end of the 19th century and the App. ways go back much earlier (as you know!) Not many Cockneys emigrated - Essex was usually as far as we went! You never know, though. I've been fortunate in spending some time in your part of the world, it's beautiful and I really loved and admired the people. And yes, back in the early-to-mid '70's I definitely heard some older folk speaking to children in a quite mystical sort of word-play that (to me) sounded and felt incredibly, almost eerily, ancient and Gaelic. It was like travelling in time. Hearing spells but in a playful way. I think you're spot-on about it passing down from heaven only knows how long ago and am very grateful to you for reminding me of it! What I was privileged to hear may have been completely different, I don't know, but it still gives me chills (in a good way.) And the women who could 'talk away' boils, burns, etc - uncanny. All that other-worldly Celtic stuff that goes through time untouched. (Well, untouched til relatively recently, sadly.) Thanks for bringing back wonderful memories and giving my mind something to do during lockdown! Please don't think all of us from this side of the pond are as rude as CMOT. Everything you said made perfect sense. Hope you're doing well; stay safe.
@@pollymotley5041 Thank you for your in depth reply. From the way you described it, I think you did hear what I was talking about. I've read that, in the 60s, university "experts", I'm not sure what educational persuasion, linguists, English professors, cultural grand poo-bahs, or whatever they were, would go back in the hills to find "primitive people to be amazed at, and perhaps write a paper or two on", and they said that they were hearing (I believe it was) near Elizabethan English, as it hadn't been spoken in England for centuries. I listened to several Jehosaphat & Jones songs. Yes the word play was funny, but I cringe to think this was what American country music sounds like to British people, lol. I know it's a parody. You may be interested in reading the defunct "West Virginia Hillbilly" newspaper (a tongue in cheek name). The owner, editor, and chief cook and bottle washer, Jim Comstock (deceased many years 4, had the ear and attention of US Presidents, and of course governors, and countless others of the self-annointed intelligentsia, for decades. He was a bit like a modern Mark Twain. A gentleman, and a gentle and wise humorist. He related stories every week about the folks from the hills, and they loved the attention. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Comstock
@@CMOT101 not counting native American Indians, Americans all have their ancestral roots in other countries and it’s completely natural to want to trace your roots and origins. They are not pretending that they belong to your country,but you should recognise that many of them have some of your blood in their veins. So unblock yer drains.
Hilarious ! I actually remember my uncle using Cockney rhyming slang with my grandparents ! Won’t say what their names became but it was very ‘ runny ‘ !!!😂😂😂
One of the best 5 minute breaks that I have ever had. The beauty of this piece, is that even if you know very little cockney rhyming slang, the usage in this sermon is such that even a novice can appreciate the humour and understand most of the Richard III's, implied by the rhymes.
I am grateful to TH-cam for the opportunity to appreciate what real humour is all about. No politics, sarcasm, victims or crude and foul language. Ken Dodd hit the nail on the when he said today's humour is cruel. I was so lucky to live in those former times when the BBC was able to provide us with genuine entertainment.
@@marvinc9994 My fellow Earthbound Alien 👽, I have not heard of this "Anton Deck" of whom you speak, but "Ant and Dec" are a supposed comedy duo from the 'old country'; they are two of the most unfunny and unoriginal 'comedians' that mainly do work 'presenting' shows or giving running commentary - no doubt for the likes of people that CANNOT think for themselves! - Who knows? In real life, however, they are a standing joke; one (if not both of them) has a drug/alcohol problem, the other needs psychotherapy IMO. The UK are welcome to keep them!!
@@maxlove4906 "for the likes of people that CANNOT think for themselves! " So, these 'Ant and Dec' are like what Earth People usually call 'The Government' ? I begin to understand ! What a strange place this planet is.................................
So young lad that both these great dog trainers are loaf of bread. Barker surely had an apple a day with a flock of birds, and every egg yolk he told would always get a striped scarf out of me. Corbett may have been a little on the witch's wart side, but in the world of long division, they were both great church steeple. I take my welcome mat off to you both.
+A Pinch Of Weird I'll translate for any non Brits. So sad that both these great entertainers are dead. Barker surely had a way with words, and every joke he told would alwas get a laugh ( larf ) out of me. Corbett may have been a little on the short side, but in the world of television they were both great people. I take my hat off to you both.
No matter how far back you go, you’ll always find an Englishman being embarrassed by an Aussie knocking his whole team over 🤣🤣 some things never change
I was a part of NTL (ISP) Tech Support back in 2006. I used to talk to many Britons not necessarily of English dissent. Once I had a word with an old man who was facing some issues with his IE6, I just installed Mozilla Firefox as a resort. He thanked me numerous times and used many words and phrases. I also had a word with a young boy from Lucas region who was an absolutely jerk and many Sikh Indians who would always tell me that they are Britons. Overall, the only wisdom that I noticed was in their last generation, it's evident here. I am going to make a DVD of these. Thanks.
I've never even met real Cockneys but somehow I can understand their language. We have rhyming slang in Australia but it's more limited than in the UK.
How on earth Ronnie Barker can manage to do these sketches with not so much as a smile on his face is pure genius. He is arguably one of the best comedians that ever lived.
The Best, so wonderful that he gave so much happiness and continues to do so, a wonderful legacy, thank GOD for humour, 😇relevant to this sketch, 😉
I disagree - there is no argument about it
Especially as Fletcher in Porridge .
It's amazing in my opinion 🙂
Harry Grout wing ?
Possibly the best comedy programme ever put on tv - no swearing and brilliant writing. My father was often mistaken for Ronnie Barker and was asked for his autograph on several occasions - one fan was so persistent that my father ended up signing the beer mat on which his pint had been sitting and handed it over. Thank heavens it was years ago before mobile phones! When Dad died, we put his Ronnie Barker-style glasses on the coffin and our parting words were "And it's goodbye from us and it's goodbye from him!"
Fair enough, honorable mention Morcame and Wise, Ryan and Ronnie, Cannon and Ball, I'll dark comedy ye
@@christopher-ke9nj Don't forget Dave Allen, he was great too.
@@christopher-ke9nj Honourable maybe, but i just shared a another video of two Ronnies and stated that the only other comedic duo they were on par with is Laurel and Hardy, in my opinion Two Ronnies and Laurel and Hardy are miles ahead of Morecambe and Wise and Cannon and Ball
That's a lovely tribute, I'm sure he would have enjoyed it
Ah, the beauty of TH-cam is that the legacy of these legends live on, to be enjoyed by generations not even born when The Two Ronnies was broadcasted. Many thanks for the upload 😊
Safely away from woke censers!
It's a good escape
What's great about a lot of their jokes was that the audience had to put a little work in themselves. Especially in a joke like this. When you suddenly get, there's the thrill of suddenly being on the same page as the comedian.
Well, here I am again leaving a second comment on this timeless masterpiece. My grandfather was a cockney born in the early 1920’s and when I was growing up, I remember him using a lot of Cockney rhyming slang in his normal conversation. Rewatching this just makes me die laughing and helps me remember happy times with my grandad. Ronnie Barker, I think, will always be remembered for being one of the truly great comedians of all time. I bet the whole team had a hoot making this one! Keep the old time alive, people. They were better times and people don’t take offence as they seem to today. The fun in life was always enjoyed and I for one, will continue to try and make light of dull situations.
SPOT ON !
Especially as Fletcher in Porridge .
Yes, check out the Jewish insurance and Arab in a shop sketch
I'm an Aussie and I understand everything he said. Shows where a lot of Aussie slang comes from. Great video.
Goodness anybody would think Britain were involved in Australia’s history hahah don’t tell the Commonwealth haters haha
A lot of Aussies were Cockneys. The Australian and Cockney accent have much in common. Must go to Australia some day.
We would say Reg Grundys instead of early doors.
Do you know my niece Sue, she lives in Oz too?
My father was a soldier and we moved about alot I spent time in S.A and my nana lived in Elizabeth West lots of £10.00 POMS and I really did understand the slang. Lots of good musicians and Singers came out from England and settled in Elizabeth ....
Ronnie Barker was a phenomenal comedian and actor. Absolutely stupendous
Plus he is salubrious...google it
@@swimasfastasyoucan Indeed he is
Salubrious...And you’re point is?
You don't hear the same said of Ronnie Corbett very often though
@@96BxelA laughter is a great medicine, his brand of humour is so uplifting
I remember watching this when I was about six or seven. The Small Brown Richard the Third had me in stitches, to the point where I had to stick my fingers in my ears and close my eyes. The Two Ronnies and Morecambe & Wise were the best things about the 70s.
Don't forget Dave Allen
@@t3chnod3lic Dave Allen was my favourite 💙
@@t3chnod3lic plus Dick Emery and Benny Hill, and good ol' Frank Spencer of Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em!! The 70's were a very special time, indeed.
Even by Ronnie B's standards, that was bloody BRILLIANT (and I bet the 'Richard the Third' joke caught everyone out) !
Not me. I realized it could be taken for bird or turd, and figured it was bird so the turd-leaning people would get a surprise, and because there would be more turd-leaning people because naturally it would have been funnier to associate Richard the Third with a turd.
@@Andulamb
"funnier to associate Richard the Third with a turd."
And historically accurate, too ;-)
Not at all, one of the more obvious ones really
@@jamesconnolly5512
"more obvious"
Only when you get to the _end_ of the joke - given the well-known fact that turds don't have wings!
Not ME, I'm an elderly cockney woman born and bred.🤣🇬🇧
The two Ronnies were and will always be unrivalled and never equalled. Never again will there be a duo who are so talented.
One of the two was rather more talented in the art of comedic delivery than the other.
Morcombe and Wise, The Two Ronnies, Peter Cook and Dudley Moore. The last in a line of comic duo's that go back to Laurel and Hardy (we'll skip Little and Large)
@@clickrick Have to totally disagree with you there.
@@clickrick No, they both amazing
Hear , Hear .
One of the few great masters of comedy. His dedication, genius and enjoyment must have been a great reward for him.
How these guys could remember their lines week after week is beyond me.Superlative talents.both of them,especially Ronnie Barker.
I remember seeing this sketch on the Telly when it first came out. So nice to see it again and take a trip down memory lane, although trying to work out Ronnie's version of cockney rhyming slang was a pain in the Gregory. He's been brown bread now for 15 years, but remains sadly knickers and twist.
Genius! Literally laugh out loud funny. There is more than one level of humour going on here. On the one hand he’s very cleverly using Cockney rhyming slang correctly but on the other hand he’s parodying the type of vicar who’s trying to connect with his audience using their language but he makes hilarious mistakes that only the audience recognises. Ronnie Barker really was something special.
"And the Richard the third flew back to its nest" Absolute genius mis-direction. 👏👏👏👏👏
Please explain
@@vp5 Normally Richard the 3rd means a turd, but in this sketch Ronnie uses mis-direction as it means Bird
There's a Dave Allen monologue where he tells us how the Irish turn the strong 'th' sound into a straight 't' sound, almost a 'd'. So Dave tells us that when the Irish pronounce 'these, that, this and those', it becomes: 'dese, dat, dis, & dose'. Then Dave tells us: "And it's even worse when they try and pronounce Richard the Third." Which is the way I twigged to what Richard the Third Cockney rhyming slang stands for.
@@forestsoceansmusic 😄😄😄😉
I know!! That was my favourite line too!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Absolutely funny sketch from the late, great Ronnie Barker.
Barker and Corbett always guaranteed to make you laugh all the time.
This is a pure comedy genius it’s in every molecule of his being it’s his entire essence. These people should be cherished as they bring so many smiles and laughter to the world
It remains to our nations eternal shame that this comedy legend was never awarded a knighthood! I miss him so much! I still use “Small brown Richard the third” to this day! We shall not see the likes of his towering talent again! A two Ronnie’s Xmas special! Ah, memories!
Yeah, strange that, when you consider some of people that get knighted. Wonder why.
How many people picked up that he actually meant "bird" instead of the other thing. I did, after a little while.
I couldn't agree with you more.
Never again will we see such talent
One of the advantages of old age - we have enjoyed things that would not be allowed today.
His linguistic and comedic genius never ceases to amaze me.
This reminds me of my grandad and his sense of humour. Always using language for fun. What a brilliant sketch. 'a stewed prune'- genius.
What a man!!! The one and only - true professional.
Modern comics have a long, long, long way to go until they achieve this genius of word play and timing.
Deborah Hallam Nowadays it's just "Let me tell you a long and rambling story about being middle aged and having kids and hope that it's funny along the way." Comedy these days is so inoffensive that it makes me sick.
LemonZeppelin clearly you haven't seen any Frankie Boyle
Ratel.H Badger Frankie Boyle is Fantastic at stand up, but this is comedy acting, different set of skills required to achieve the exceptional brilliance of Ronnie B.
POPULAR modern comics, there's probably thousands of comics out there just as good as the Two Ronnies but they're not getting any of the limelight. And it doesn't help that people these days don't like having to use their brains a little to understand the comedy.
st cain and abel
Barker's passing was a great loss to comedy. What a brilliant comic.
Especially in porridge !
Not really as he had left the entertainment business and opened up an antique shop in a village, I remember ‘they’ set him up and tried to destroy him by bringing in an item to be valued when he made an offer that was under it’s proper value they accepted it only to go to the press and accuse him of being a dishonest crook, really disgusting behaviour by the media also with his son going to prison also around this time it took it’s toll and ruined him he died shortly afterwards I believe, such a sad shame!
@@johnsmith-rs2vk never rated it, jail’s are anything but ‘funny’ he done better!
This is genius everytime I have a good drink I always watch this never gets old funny as hell wish comedy was this good nowadays.
Absolute Genius of writing, probably wrote by himself, under his pseudonym Gerald Wiley. A truly gifted comedian, and acting chameleon. When comedy meant comedy.
I love the two Ronnie's, I'm always amazed they could do it with the most serious look on their faces, true artists of their craft😁
And so it's goodnight from me, and it's goodnight from him, GOODNIGHT😆
Comic genius. And I'm an American! ( okay my dad was English, so I get it). Grew up on this and Benny Hill in the states, who you should be proud of, you guys, not ashamed.
This man's linguist genius was not fully unappreciated in its time
When you look back at these skits, you start to appreciate how clever this man was in terms of word genius
I don't know anyone today who even comes close to the word smith genius he was
I know standards have dropped over the years but even so, this guy was indeed a word and linguistic genius
Other skits like his cockney accent skit are just unbelievably clever and apparently he wrote all these tips skits himself, such was the genius of this man
Whoever is uploading his material, thank you, I have not seen all of them previously and it reinforces my respect for the man even more
I too found this brilliant. My father taught me a lot of rhyming Cockney slang. Quite a brilliant concept. Thanks for video
They played this at ronnies funeral, I led me here absolute legend RIP
Remember watching that as a kid when it came out and it still leaves me in tears of laughter everytime I see it 😂
The audio of this was played at my uncle's funeral. Lightened the mood somewhat
Always perfectly written and performed. They were geniuses these two. A particular favourite of my much missed father. The wordplay sketches were the best and the musical numbers hilarious.
Yep - I remember watching with my Dad back as a kid in the 70s and Dad would be in stitches. Happy memories 😊
The writing and delivery are amazing
I watched some of their shows live
And some replays of course.
But I'd not seen this one before
Classic!...and pure genius.
Comedy from my teen years.👍👍
Brilliant, absolutly brilliant, I will never be tired of his humour
The small brown Richard The Third gag is brilliant, especially the audience reaction when they realise it means something else.
Just came across a Spike Milligan war story where he calls a toilet attendant....a Richard The III Strangler...can't believe I found two versions of the same joke on the same night.
A classic piece of mis-direction by Ronnie B. He really was a consumate wordsmith. I liked his various "speeches on behalf of a worthy organisation" (eg "The Loyal Society for the Pispronunciation of Worms") sketches in the vaarious Two Ronnies shows. His two skills were first of all to write the sketches in the first place (often credited as pseudonym Gerald Wiley) and then to be able to perform them without even the slightest hint of a smirk when *he* was the one who knew what he was about to say - apart from pausing for audience reaction where necessary he kept a perfectly straight face.
The Richard The third flew back to it's nest ! LOL GENIUS !
Miss you Ronnie !
I could watch this everyday and it would never become boring !
This is so bloody brilliant. I though I was going to gypsy kiss my pants!!
I’ve never seen this before. Pure comedy gold. There used to be a pub in Leeds called the Brahms and Liszt. I kept waiting for him say that.
Now play it again and picture a room full of confused-looking Post-Millennials watching this - makes it funnier still!
😆😆
Inoffensive, & without tribulation....Barker's genius only gets better with age !!
I was born in east end ( aka bethnal green) and since I was tought rhyming slang as a boy, I understand every single word and the way Ronnie barker used it, it makes laugh out loud from my North and south every single time, # cockney rhyming slang, # bethnal green, # cockney boy, # st Bernards forever.
Pure class!!!!.....Just brilliant!
I understood the whole thing. We have a small amount of rhyming slang over here too. It was brought back to Ireland by returning emigrants years ago. I love the two Ronnies. They're a barrel of "wild Giraffes". I had an English friend over here and he told me that Stella Artois became Stella, then Nelson Mandela, then just "Nelson". So a pint of Nelson is a pint of Stella Artois. P.S. You'd wanna have a grapes, there's a pen off your plates. (grapes, grapes of wrath, bath, pen, pen and ink, stink, plates, plates of meat, feet)
Stella Artois, according to two of my Kiwi sons who worked bars in England, is also know as "Wife Beater".
side splitting hilarious!! brilliant, absolutely brilliant and so damn funny no matter how many times I watch this!!
Best of British comedy.. witty and clever without being vulgar... ‘tis a pity half the English speaking world would not understand it... something about knowing how to speak English but not really understanding it...
This is one of those things where you know exactly what's coming, but it's hilarious anyway.
I had lived in western London for many years, and after college I got a job where some good chums kept talking in rhyming slang. Most of it I could work out... but was befuddled when they spoke of 'king and barns". Carns? starns? parns? Nothing made sense... until I learned that King and Barnes was their favourite beer.
the 1 & only late great never forgotten master of word play ronnie barker
Absolutely some of the finest comedy writing ever. 👍
I had no clue what he was saying but the laughter was infectious.
Genius! A shame comedy isn't like this anymore
This is such a funny sketch, Ronnie Barker was so talented. I remember as a small child, watching The Two Ronnies with my Dad. He would quietly laugh at the sketches. This has reminded me how funny and talented Ronnie Barker was, but it has also taken me back to memories of my lovely Dad. Oh, I have a confession to make…I got the Richard III rhyming slang wrong too😉.
we wont see talent like that any more . the talent of today don't even come close .
I'm getting only about every third rhyme, but it's hilarious.
+J. Lewis I do believe Harrap's have printed a dictionary on Cockney Rhyming Slang. Probably available on many bookseller sites.
I live in the east end of London since the end of the 60s and it is sad that you don't hear meany people speaking Cockley anymore .
Where they all move to? Must be spoken somewhere
@@chchedda The ever greater ease of travel came, the internet came, people moved about, new outsiders came in, and the tradition has mostly been lost.
Words can not describe the two Ronnie's a part from pure gold genius the both of them
We had Morcambe & Wise, the two Ronnies and now we have Ant & Dec!!!
I would pay good bees and honey to have as good a bubble bath as I got from this sketch, again. You're also doing pretty good to get this sketch if you are a septic tank 😉.
Mmm bees and honey = money, bubble bath = laugh, septic tank = I wonder, Yank?
My grandmother was an East Londoner, so my Dad used to use the odd rhyming slang expression. I’m in Canada! I would ask him what he meant by, “where’s my titfer ?” Tit for tat, my hat.
@@karphin1 That is why we "blow raspberries!" As in, "I just blew a raspberry tart."
We sceptic tanks across the magic wand do sometimes catch what's going on. We're not all a lot of Berkshire Hunts who don't know Brad Pitt 😉
Not sure about being a septic tank but I do recall having one.
Seeing The Two Ronnies, reminds me that here in Australia nearly 2022, Anglo Australians of a certain age and demographic, still use a significant amount of Cockney derived 'rhyming slang'.
I wonder if the septic tanks use it?
You'd have to go a long way down the frog n toad, though you could give a ting a ling on the dog n bone. It's a long way on yer plates of meat, specially on yer Pat Malone.
Hoo roo china.
@@greasylimpet3323 down the road....................................on your feet alone. Goodbye Mate. _At least some was right - from a dinkee die Aussie of anglo descent]
@@letsseeif same here. My dad always said the frog n toad, and if I did anything a bit clumsy he told me to get me plates of meat out of the way. I got threatened with the razor strop a few times too, but l luckily I never got a clout with it!
The septic tanks were the Yanks!
@@greasylimpet3323 yesh. Australians also call the Americans, 'yanks' hence 'septic tanks'. Happy 2022
A legend at work!
We rhotic speakers have never thought of rhyming "fiver" with "Lady Godiva."
Loved them to bits. They were so clever and so very , very funny!!!!😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
As a Yank, I didn't follow all of this, but I got enough to get some good laughs. I am, I expect, one of the few in the US who are familiar with The Two Ronnies, and I enjoyed watching the show when it was on PBS.
sisgaia present
So you're a ''septic tank'' then?
In order of what he said but not repeating the same slang he said before:
He had no (Trouble and Strife) *wife*
She ran of with a (tea leaf) *thief*
He now lived with his eldest (bricks and mortar) *daughter*
And being short of (bees and honey) *money*
Unable to pay (Burton on trent) *rent*
He was tempted to forth into the (Bristol City) *titty?*
And see what he could (half inch) *pinch*
Gone for a (ball of chalk) *walk*
Buy some tobacoo for my (cherry ripe) *pipe*
He would put on his (almond rocks) *socks*
And his (dicky dirt) *shirt*
And his (round the houses) *trousers*
He set if down the (frog and toad) *road*
His (how d'ya Dos) *shoes* was full of holes
And his coat was (Westminster Abbey) *shabby*
He also somewhat unclean to purchase some (Cape of Good Hope) *soap*
His (bushel and peck) *neck*
was extremely (two thirty) *dirty*
To avoid the (pen and ink) *stink*
His (north and south) *mouth*
His (mince pies) *eyes*
And he had a big red (I suppose) *nose*
He is a (saucepan lid) *kid* 🐐
A loaf of (uncle fred) *bread*
and a (stand at ease) *cheese*
I need a new pair of (early doors) *draws*
I'm in continual (george raft) *draft*
He made his way to the
(rubber bub) *pub* for a (Tumble Down the Sink) *drink*
He became very (elephant trunk) *drunk* and (Mozart) *p**sed*
When the landlord call (bird lime) *time*
The man came back to his (cat and mouse) *house*
Humming at (stewed prune) *tune*
It came to (khyber pass) *arse*
He saw a small brown (Richard The Third) *bird* but joke is people thinks its *turd*
Laying there at his (plates of meat) *feet*
And his rich (four by two) *jew*
Put his hand into his (sky rocket) *pocket* and took out a (Lady Godiva) *fiver*
For your (froth and bubble) *trouble*
His daughter was sitting by (Jeremiah) *fire* on her favourite (Lionel Blair) *chair*
I have more than enough to cover my (bottle and glass) *arse*
Should the kyber pass and bottle and glass have been swopped arround?
bottle and glass - pass and kyber pass - arse
🤔
I think saucepan lid is supposed to be quid, because she said here is a saucepan lid to buy the bread and cheese.
It's a great sketch, but you need to know that Ronnie made it easy for non-Rhyming Slangers. For example: You don't usually say the whole phrase. If you were going upstairs, you would only say, "I'm going up the apples".... leaving out the second part (apples and pears). Dialogue coming up of a possible scenario.
'I went down the boozer to see me old "china". He was in the "rub-a-dub" with his "trouble" and her "skin and blister" and those two birds can't half "rabbit". Well, just after I got me "pig's ear", a right tasty sort strolls in. Lovely "boat" framed by a cascading blonde "barnet", with deep blue "mincers". I was going to offer her a bevy, but I dropped me "cockle" on the "Rory" and as quick a flash she bent over to pick it up! Well, her "Bristols" were almost falling out of her "Dickie" and as she was bending I could see she had beautiful "Scotches" all the way up to her "Aris".
I had me "jam jar" outside and I wasn't "Elephants", so I asked her would fancy going up the "frog and toad" to get some "laugh and joke".
As soon as she opened her "North and South" I could tell she was a "Sherman Tank", but I didn't half fancy having her 'Plates" around me "Gregory". We headed for the "Gary Moore" and the Landlord calls me a "berk" and bets me a 'nifty' that this "Richard" wont play the Blue Vein Solo.....Goodnight from him, goodnight from me . ☻
China (China Plate) = Mate
Rub-a-Dub-Dub = Pub
Trouble (Trouble and Strife) = Wife
Skin and Blister = Sister
Rabbit (Rabbit and Pork) = Talk
Pig's Ear = Beer
Boat (Boat Race) = Face
Barnet (Barnet Fair) = Hair
Mincers (Mince Pies) = Eyes
Cockle (Cockle and Hen) = Ten (pounds)
Rory (Rory O' Moore) = Floor
Bristols (Bristol Cities) = Titties
Dickie (Dickie Dirt) = Shirt
Scotches (Scotch Eggs) = Legs
Aris (Aristotle) - Bottle (Bottle and Glass) = Arse
Jam Jar = Car
Elephants (Elephant's Trunk) = Drunk
Frog and Toad = Road
Laugh and a Joke = Smoke
North and South = Mouth
Sherman Tank = Yank
Plates (Plates of Meat) = Feet
Gregory (Gregory Peck) = Neck
Gary Moore = Door...... (great Guitarist too)
Berk (Berkshire Hunt) = C**t
Nifty = Fifty (pounds)
Richard (Richard III) = Bird (girl)
***** Here Endeth My Interpretation *****
Comedy at its best. Understood every word.
Until
mjhinton1972 translation, please
He definitely desereved a Lady Godiva for that brilliant sketch.
Not sure which was first which second but I do remember a cartoon in a Punch magazine from I'd guess the early 70s.
The vicar was in the pulpit saying:
'Today's lesson is from the Bermondsey Bible.....
'The Lord is my Spotted Leopard ........'
This is genius.
Still clever as after all these years, performed by one of the greats.
Happy memories, I understood every word.
Jesus, this is tough for non-native speakers like me! That said, I have been a TWO RONNIES fan for decades. Greetings from a German English teacher.
This is just one example that showed what a genius Ronnie Barker was. R.I.P
Absolutely brilliant
The play on Richard III is brilliant for where I come from it mean "turd" hence the audience's response.
Richard the third - brilliant
The best comedy duo ever. No PC bullshit, we will never ever get this brilliance again.
I wonder if this was another he wrote himself as Gerald Wiley? A true comic genius. Most verily.
Yes, he did write this sketch. Got a book of everything he wrote - almost. Some of his work has sadly been lost (in writen form), and doesn't appear in it.
An outstanding comedy writer as well as, the fork handles sketch ……
this is a true classic
I nearly died laughing the first time I heard this. Hardly ever nearly die laughing at comedy these days.
Some of todays comedy I can laugh at an some that I cant , weird
Love the Two Ronnies
I wish I could understand more than the 10% I got. That 10% was hilarious.
Play it back at a slower speed withe sub titles on.
Mate, he deliberately made it easy for you. Us Londoners usually skip the rhyming word.
I'm 51 & was raised in the Appalachians, where there is a considerable, although ancient, Scotch-Irish ancestry. And some English as well. There may possibly have been some residual Cockney influence among some of the descendants of the people who emigrated there.
Point is, while I have never heard of Cockney rhyming slang before (although I've occasionally heard it on TV, but didn't know what it was, except "Englishmen talking amusing nonsense") I seem to have a faint, wispy childhood memory of some old folks, possibly grandparents or someone(s), talking to me a little like this to amuse me as a small child.
I just can't seem to put my finger on it. But I bet it was something passed down through the centuries and kept alive to amuse children with.
How can a couple of hundred years be 'ancient'?
Why do Americans have to pretend they belong to other countries? You don't. And you annoy real Irish, Scots etc by doing so.
And you are wrong about Cockney Rhyming Slang too.
DuckDuck, think I've heard what you're talking about but I'll come back to that. First have to ask if you're familiar with the Ronnies' Jehosaphat and Jones characters/songs? Since you left such smashing comments on the library sketch, and are from the Appalachians, I don't want to risk your missing them! Utterly brilliant and here on youtube. Folk/country/hippie sorts (I can't do them justice but you'll recognise the type the moment you see and hear them!) - the music surprisingly 'right' paired with their usual ingenious word-play. The Scots-Irish background in your part of the world is fascinating; the speech and music are such clear carry-overs. It's probably not likely that what you heard as a child originated from rhyming slang, as that mainly developed round the end of the 19th century and the App. ways go back much earlier (as you know!) Not many Cockneys emigrated - Essex was usually as far as we went! You never know, though. I've been fortunate in spending some time in your part of the world, it's beautiful and I really loved and admired the people. And yes, back in the early-to-mid '70's I definitely heard some older folk speaking to children in a quite mystical sort of word-play that (to me) sounded and felt incredibly, almost eerily, ancient and Gaelic. It was like travelling in time. Hearing spells but in a playful way. I think you're spot-on about it passing down from heaven only knows how long ago and am very grateful to you for reminding me of it! What I was privileged to hear may have been completely different, I don't know, but it still gives me chills (in a good way.) And the women who could 'talk away' boils, burns, etc - uncanny. All that other-worldly Celtic stuff that goes through time untouched. (Well, untouched til relatively recently, sadly.) Thanks for bringing back wonderful memories and giving my mind something to do during lockdown! Please don't think all of us from this side of the pond are as rude as CMOT. Everything you said made perfect sense. Hope you're doing well; stay safe.
@@pollymotley5041 Thank you for your in depth reply. From the way you described it, I think you did hear what I was talking about.
I've read that, in the 60s, university "experts", I'm not sure what educational persuasion, linguists, English professors, cultural grand poo-bahs, or whatever they were, would go back in the hills to find "primitive people to be amazed at, and perhaps write a paper or two on", and they said that they were hearing (I believe it was) near Elizabethan English, as it hadn't been spoken in England for centuries.
I listened to several Jehosaphat & Jones songs. Yes the word play was funny, but I cringe to think this was what American country music sounds like to British people, lol. I know it's a parody.
You may be interested in reading the defunct "West Virginia Hillbilly" newspaper (a tongue in cheek name).
The owner, editor, and chief cook and bottle washer, Jim Comstock (deceased many years 4, had the ear and attention of US Presidents, and of course governors, and countless others of the self-annointed intelligentsia, for decades. He was a bit like a modern Mark Twain. A gentleman, and a gentle and wise humorist.
He related stories every week about the folks from the hills, and they loved the attention.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Comstock
@@CMOT101 not counting native American Indians, Americans all have their ancestral roots in other countries and it’s completely natural to want to trace your roots and origins. They are not pretending that they belong to your country,but you should recognise that many of them have some of your blood in their veins. So unblock yer drains.
Hilarious !
I actually remember my uncle using Cockney rhyming slang with my grandparents !
Won’t say what their names became but it was very ‘ runny ‘ !!!😂😂😂
One of the best 5 minute breaks that I have ever had.
The beauty of this piece, is that even if you know very little cockney rhyming slang, the usage in this sermon is such that even a novice can appreciate the humour and understand most of the Richard III's, implied by the rhymes.
In Sarf Lundun Richard the Third is a "turd", hence the extra cleverness of its use.
Then: Laurel and Hardy, Morecambe and Wise, the Two Ronnie's! 😁😂🤣
Now: Ant and Dec?? FFS, we're done!
I am grateful to TH-cam for the opportunity to appreciate what real humour is all about. No politics, sarcasm, victims or crude and foul language. Ken Dodd hit the nail on the when he said today's humour is cruel. I was so lucky to live in those former times when the BBC was able to provide us with genuine entertainment.
Who is this Anton Deck of which you speak, Earthling ? I know him not............................
@@marvinc9994 My fellow Earthbound Alien 👽, I have not heard of this "Anton Deck" of whom you speak, but "Ant and Dec" are a supposed comedy duo from the 'old country'; they are two of the most unfunny and unoriginal 'comedians' that mainly do work 'presenting' shows or giving running commentary - no doubt for the likes of people that CANNOT think for themselves! - Who knows?
In real life, however, they are a standing joke; one (if not both of them) has a drug/alcohol problem, the other needs psychotherapy IMO.
The UK are welcome to keep them!!
@@maxlove4906
"for the likes of people that CANNOT think for themselves! "
So, these 'Ant and Dec' are like what Earth People usually call 'The Government' ? I begin to understand ! What a strange place this planet is.................................
MASTERPIECE !
So young lad that both these great dog trainers are loaf of bread. Barker surely had an apple a day with a flock of birds, and every egg yolk he told would always get a striped scarf out of me. Corbett may have been a little on the witch's wart side, but in the world of long division, they were both great church steeple. I take my welcome mat off to you both.
+A Pinch Of Weird
I'll translate for any non Brits.
So sad that both these great entertainers are dead. Barker surely had a way with words, and every joke he told would alwas get a laugh ( larf ) out of me.
Corbett may have been a little on the short side, but in the world of television they were both great people.
I take my hat off to you both.
And you can shut your north and south.
This entire bit is actually quite educational for someone who doesn't understand cockney rhyming slang.
@@CB-xr1eg
Thank you for your translation.
@@zulkiflijamil4033 No problemo.
Nothing beats "four candles" but this and the Egyptian hieroglyphics sketches come close.
Don't forget the Mastermind sketch, answering the question before.
No matter how far back you go, you’ll always find an Englishman being embarrassed by an Aussie knocking his whole team over 🤣🤣 some things never change
I was a part of NTL (ISP) Tech Support back in 2006. I used to talk to many Britons not necessarily of English dissent. Once I had a word with an old man who was facing some issues with his IE6, I just installed Mozilla Firefox as a resort. He thanked me numerous times and used many words and phrases. I also had a word with a young boy from Lucas region who was an absolutely jerk and many Sikh Indians who would always tell me that they are Britons. Overall, the only wisdom that I noticed was in their last generation, it's evident here. I am going to make a DVD of these. Thanks.
Truly utterly brilliant
Just brilliant RIP both Ronnies
Doesn't get old. I had a right bubble bath!
I've never even met real Cockneys but somehow I can understand their language. We have rhyming slang in Australia but it's more limited than in the UK.
Then just take a butchers hook