A note on holding children tightly: My son is sensory seeking and if I pay attention, and sometimes I can really see the tantrum coming. He 20 months old so the words for feelings aren't developed yet, but he begins acting frustrated or overloaded just minutes before meltdown. When I see one coming, I stop what I'm doing, sit in the floor and let him come to me. I take 2 minutes to read a little book while giving him some squeezes. Sometimes he will come to be with arms open for a hug, but as a sensory kid he benefits from regular deep compressions a few times a day. I give him a few gentle, yet firm squeezes on his legs, starting at his feet working up to his chubby little thighs and his arms starting with his hands and work up to his shoulders and gently push them away from his ears. We do this before meals (he has an eating disorder so super helpful before stressful meal session), before changing clothes, before nap and bedtime. Since I began this routine I have seen a 90% drop in tantrums. We see maybe one every couple of days now. Great tips, thank you for the videos Sarah!
Susan our two year old boy had meltdowns that were out of control and beyond what seemed ordinary. We felt they were extreme but didn't have anything to compare it with, so we kept waiting and trying out conventional advice. Finally at 2.5 years we learned he had high functioning autism. It was a difficult thing to hear but ultimately very liberating as it gave us new ways to help him. Now he is 4, speaking, playingwith other kids, responding well to a Waldorf-style home rhythm, the meltdowns are gone, and there are no longer any serious symptoms of autism. I am sharing this because if you do feel like these meltdowns are beyond the range of what normal advice can address, you might be right and it is worth checking out, so you can address it early. We feel lucky every day that we learned early how to help him. Xo good luck!
Something that always sticks in my head is that my daughter is having a hard time, not giving me a hard time. That helps me stay calm . I always remind her it’s ok to feel sad etc... I think ‘tantrums’ ( I hate that word) are healthy shows of emotion. It’s not always easy to cope with though. I have to keep up my self care in order to remain patient. Thanks for the video Sarah 😀
thank you for this video. one thing that helps me a lot to accompany my kids to their tantrums is: to repeat to myself these 2 sentences: "it's just a phase" and "the child who acts the most unlovingly is the child who needs love the most". i realy like the 2 books of kim john payne also: simplicity parenting and the other is The soul of discipline how to raise calmer happier kids. it is realy helpful and i highly recommend them. he says that there are no disobedient children, only disoriented children. that from 0-7 years old we have to be a governor, from 7 to 14 a gardener and from 14 to 21 a guide.
It’s soooo hard!! I can mostly handle the two year old tantrums, it’s actually the older sister who is pestering her repeatedly (after being told multiple times to stop) who is making the 2 year old yell/whine. My older kids know better, but yet-here we are😆😆THANKS SARAH
Every single time I watch a video of yours, it really rings true. I love that you referenced Magda Gerber and RIE. It gives me confidence that I'm giving my girl continuity as she gets older and is no longer in the RIE age group by aiming for Waldorf philosophies of education.
God bless your soul ❤️ so kind and loving, shows real patience and kindness towards children and I'm sure it even works on older ones. I loved how calm and simple this was. Thank you 😊 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ shared done & done
As a grandma, sometimes i can tell it is hard for my dear son and daughter when their 3 year old has tantrums. I know all parents want visits with family to be fun, yet the reality is.....little ones have tantrums, it's a developmental stage, and it is important for parents to hear reassurance (afterwards) that they are good parents & their toddler is, indeed, 'a little person with big emotions'. Would you please suggest ways grandparents can be supportive to parents of toddlers (and toddlers, too)?
I don't know if this will work for your family but one thing we do sometimes is have a spot for quiet time. (Pillows blankets and books) I often sit near by on there level until tantrum is subsiding and tell the child it's time to read books and have quiet time. If they dont want too i pick up a book and act really interested in it often there curiousity gets the best of them I then read them a story then let them look at books independently. Sometimes they are over tired or over stimulated so a quiet spot can be really helpful to be removed from everything. Also I often think it's better than having them feel the whole family is looking at them have a melt down lol and the one on one attention seems to comfort them. I find this to work 80% of the time now. And the older child elects to have this time on their own. We don't call it time out or act as if it's a punishment. ❤ good luck! It's a journey.
I have 2 and 3 year old boys. When they have tantrums they hit each other. I have no idea where it comes from. We don't hit in my family, we don't watch hitting on TV, they are with me 24/7 so I have NO IDEA where this is coming from. I'll definitely need to look into that book.
Hi Sarah great video, thanks for putting this series together, always filled with inspiration and great advise! Will you speak about celebrating birthdays at home in the spirit of Waldorf? Thanks again!
Speaking of giving children a choice, in order to prevent tantrums: if I give my now 6 years old son the opportunity to take A or B he ALWAYS choses C 😂 But it's ok with me now. I had 6 years to learn to live with this😀😉
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A note on holding children tightly:
My son is sensory seeking and if I pay attention, and sometimes I can really see the tantrum coming. He 20 months old so the words for feelings aren't developed yet, but he begins acting frustrated or overloaded just minutes before meltdown. When I see one coming, I stop what I'm doing, sit in the floor and let him come to me. I take 2 minutes to read a little book while giving him some squeezes. Sometimes he will come to be with arms open for a hug, but as a sensory kid he benefits from regular deep compressions a few times a day. I give him a few gentle, yet firm squeezes on his legs, starting at his feet working up to his chubby little thighs and his arms starting with his hands and work up to his shoulders and gently push them away from his ears. We do this before meals (he has an eating disorder so super helpful before stressful meal session), before changing clothes, before nap and bedtime. Since I began this routine I have seen a 90% drop in tantrums. We see maybe one every couple of days now.
Great tips, thank you for the videos Sarah!
Susan our two year old boy had meltdowns that were out of control and beyond what seemed ordinary. We felt they were extreme but didn't have anything to compare it with, so we kept waiting and trying out conventional advice. Finally at 2.5 years we learned he had high functioning autism. It was a difficult thing to hear but ultimately very liberating as it gave us new ways to help him. Now he is 4, speaking, playingwith other kids, responding well to a Waldorf-style home rhythm, the meltdowns are gone, and there are no longer any serious symptoms of autism. I am sharing this because if you do feel like these meltdowns are beyond the range of what normal advice can address, you might be right and it is worth checking out, so you can address it early. We feel lucky every day that we learned early how to help him. Xo good luck!
Something that always sticks in my head is that my daughter is having a hard time, not giving me a hard time. That helps me stay calm . I always remind her it’s ok to feel sad etc... I think ‘tantrums’ ( I hate that word) are healthy shows of emotion. It’s not always easy to cope with though. I have to keep up my self care in order to remain patient. Thanks for the video Sarah 😀
I'm a nanny drawing from alternative pedagogues like RIE, Waldorf, Charlotte Mason, Montessori. I put that book in my cart. I'd love to hear more!
thank you for this video. one thing that helps me a lot to accompany my kids to their tantrums is: to repeat to myself these 2 sentences: "it's just a phase" and "the child who acts the most unlovingly is the child who needs love the most". i realy like the 2 books of kim john payne also: simplicity parenting and the other is The soul of discipline how to raise calmer happier kids. it is realy helpful and i highly recommend them. he says that there are no disobedient children, only disoriented children. that from 0-7 years old we have to be a governor, from 7 to 14 a gardener and from 14 to 21 a guide.
This is so beautiful: "there are no disobedient children, only disoriented children". Thank you
It’s soooo hard!! I can mostly handle the two year old tantrums, it’s actually the older sister who is pestering her repeatedly (after being told multiple times to stop) who is making the 2 year old yell/whine. My older kids know better, but yet-here we are😆😆THANKS SARAH
Every single time I watch a video of yours, it really rings true. I love that you referenced Magda Gerber and RIE. It gives me confidence that I'm giving my girl continuity as she gets older and is no longer in the RIE age group by aiming for Waldorf philosophies of education.
God bless your soul ❤️ so kind and loving, shows real patience and kindness towards children and I'm sure it even works on older ones. I loved how calm and simple this was. Thank you 😊 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ shared done & done
Wise and kind approach. Thank you for sharing your knowledge!
As a grandma, sometimes i can tell it is hard for my dear son and daughter when their 3 year old has tantrums. I know all parents want visits with family to be fun, yet the reality is.....little ones have tantrums, it's a developmental stage, and it is important for parents to hear reassurance (afterwards) that they are good parents & their toddler is, indeed, 'a little person with big emotions'. Would you please suggest ways grandparents can be supportive to parents of toddlers (and toddlers, too)?
I don't know if this will work for your family but one thing we do sometimes is have a spot for quiet time. (Pillows blankets and books) I often sit near by on there level until tantrum is subsiding and tell the child it's time to read books and have quiet time. If they dont want too i pick up a book and act really interested in it often there curiousity gets the best of them
I then read them a story then let them look at books independently. Sometimes they are over tired or over stimulated so a quiet spot can be really helpful to be removed from everything. Also I often think it's better than having them feel the whole family is looking at them have a melt down lol and the one on one attention seems to comfort them. I find this to work 80% of the time now. And the older child elects to have this time on their own. We don't call it time out or act as if it's a punishment. ❤ good luck! It's a journey.
So glad I found this channel! 💝
I have 2 and 3 year old boys. When they have tantrums they hit each other. I have no idea where it comes from. We don't hit in my family, we don't watch hitting on TV, they are with me 24/7 so I have NO IDEA where this is coming from. I'll definitely need to look into that book.
Great, advice Sarah. Thank you.
Hi Sarah great video, thanks for putting this series together, always filled with inspiration and great advise! Will you speak about celebrating birthdays at home in the spirit of Waldorf? Thanks again!
Speaking of giving children a choice, in order to prevent tantrums: if I give my now 6 years old son the opportunity to take A or B he ALWAYS choses C 😂
But it's ok with me now. I had 6 years to learn to live with this😀😉
Jule same here. My two year old either picks the third option or all options 😂