I often work with highly successful men. These people have achieved everything society tells them they should want, but they often still feel unfulfilled. This is because achievement and fulfillment aren't really the same thing. In today's episode, I discuss a method for creating more meaning in your life by asking yourself a counterintuitive question: "what would I (still) do, if I knew I couldn't succeed?" Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: th-cam.com/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/w-d-xo.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: th-cam.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #meaning #purpose
"... irrespective of the intended beneficiary, the more that you personally benefit from your action, the less meaningful that action becomes." (Dr. Orion Taraban) "Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward." (Matthew 6:2 KJV)
That was very difficult and complex question here. I stumbled a lot in my life and my brain has given up trying as a coping mechanism. Am i wrong? i don't know... Many people who has suffered less than me say i'm wrong etc... Hope and everything. Still that's easy to say if you have a family, a good job etc.... Won't play the victim card i know better. Seriously i finished the video long time ago and still processing it. Thx for the headache ^^
The most meaningful and rewarding cases I have ever taken as a lawyer were pro bono cases, fighting for people who could not adequately fight for themselves and could not afford to pay a lawyer. Love this video.
I don’t do pro-bono because 99.99% of these folks are lying about their ability to pay. Rewarding them for it makes no sense. If they’re financial inability is shown to be true? Well, THEN there are other ways to take advantage!😂
@@michaelesq.atpcfii.9862 You represent the 99% of lawyers who give the 1% a bad name. Seriously? If a pro bono client truly CAN'T pay, you know ways to STIL take advantage of them? Got it! May you rot in Hell.
The most meaningful job I’ve ever had was volunteering at a horse stable. I saw the results of my work (before/after cleaning), horses were happy, we were doing horseback riding for evacuated kids, after that we would ride in the forest or in the field. Everyone was dead tired after 12+ hours of physical activity but I always think of that period of my life as the happiest. Hopefully I’ll be able to get back to it someday.
I agree. The most meaningful jobs I have ever had and cases I have taken were volunteer. I was helping people who could not help themselves in a complex legal system.
@@rudeigin When you help others to find it meaningfull Dont do it in case of getting something in return but this state is only possible when you feel you are Rich and not poor who finds struggle for survival thats the meaning the work for free. Tell me if you understand this message.
Oh, Taraban. Again, you hit it on the head. I'm successful, middle aged, I've got some wealth and I'm single, never married, no family, no kids, parents and brother's dead, live on my own, I've traveled, I have no bucket list because I've already done it all, fit/nicely built and I look around and think, "This is not the way it was supposed to go; it's all for sh*t and now what?" I'm turning into a recluse and going inward. It's not healthy and this is exactly what I've been working on. It's nice to know I'm not the only one. Good video.
The opposite is kind of the same too when you failed at life ^^ I'm not sucessful and don't even try nowadays. Just saying the part which is a problem in your comment is the "it's all for sh*t" part. Is it really? or because you made it, it has no more meaning for you? just asking and stimulating your process of thinking.
I’m trying to figure out my new meaning in life. I was married to my best friend for almost 14 years. We have a beautiful 9 year old son. I was a father and husband. We had everything you could ever want. 4 years ago she was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. She survived but went through chemotherapy, double mastectomy, and radiation. Cancer recked havoc on her. I went through my own struggles. I don’t drink, do drugs, or anything else like that. Hard working law enforcement officer. About 10 months ago she divorced me. She just said that she is not in love with me anymore. My world has fallen apart. It’s like she set my soul on fire. I’m trying to focus on my son and myself but there are so many days I wish I didn’t have to wake up.
Looks as though it would help you to learn about grief: maybe even join a grief group. This may be useless to you, but what helps me is that when the overwhelming waves of grief come, don't resist them: feel the full force of them. Carry on doing productive work - even if you're just going through the motions. For me, doing this causes the waves of grief to shorten, and the gaps between them to lengthen.
To say I'm glad I found this channel is a severe understatement. I don't always agree with you, but you make countless precious points, well articulated and supported by metaphors, myths, and anecdotal content. The essence is solid and piercing and the packaging of the content is even better. Great work!
I urge people to volunteer more. The good work you perform, the connections you make with the other volunteers and the strangers whose lives you impact CAN and *WILL* help to bring more meaning in your life.
Volunteering is only fun when it is reciprocated with a feeling of high gratitude, loyalty, and an absence of entitlement. Otherwise, it feels more like being used.
I went into treatment and was encouraged to do this. I realised I’m not willing to be delusional enough to think you can ‘MAKE’ meaning. There was always this little quiet voice in my head that knew I’m not the ultimate creator. It didn’t matter how much art I made- I was in charge and that was the problem.
A meaningful life can be extremely satisfying even in the midst of hardship whereas a meaningless life is a terrible ordeal no matter how comfortable it is. -Yuval Noah
Hearing this message... you bring tears to my eyes, Dr. Onion! Tears! It's a common experience as a teenager to climb a big hill or if you're lucky, a mountain one sunny Summer afternoon when the days are long, with some friends and sit at the top and look out onto the world. Suddenly all that you knew looks incredibly small and all the world you can see looks incredibly large. When I did this at that age, it was the "Why?" question: What does it all mean in effect? Does anyone ever find an answer to that question? It does not seem so... as everyone more or less asked that question Why? and then promptly forgets it, descending back down the hill or mountain, and proceeds with their life out of necessity of what society organizes: Work, Commute, Sleep and repeat to earn a crust of bread, and as you say in the video, the mountain only ever increases in size each generation that learns a bit more... . With that said, an old poem I came across explains the situation better even if it's not a direct answer to each individual's own unique situation; and to paraphrase it if you're sitting up on that mountain, looking at the universe or world in all its entirety, ask this question to yourself: "IF that IS, then what am I?" I wish I'd known to ask this question, to put into words what I was wondering as a teenager, all those many years ago. It might help someone else to pose it if they too are high up the mountain looking out as we all do at some stage of our lives...
Preach! I found that people are usually already doing meaningful work, but they dismiss it as "meh, it's not so important" so over time they put it on the backburner... until it starts to eat them up that they are missing something (that they are already capable of doing). That's at least what I've noticed.
As a highly accomplished medical professional, I'd like to say that this is one of your best videos yet! Of the several decades of surgical practice I can remember some of the more outstanding grateful and not so grateful patients, but the experience of operating on three continents in third world countries (paid my own way) are most memorable
I get what you are saying. Everything in life worth doing takes time, effort, and sacrifice. Willing to suffer all that and still press on for the good of others is meaning.
This is honestly one of the best perspectives of understanding meaning in life, i strongly recommend everyone to go through this video multiple times for maximum understanding.
Hey Dr. Orion! Your videos have been eye-opening for me. They resonate so deeply as if adding explicit clarity to my intuitive experiential knowledge. I sincerely wanted to thank you. Thank you for all the effort you put in, to intellectually sculpt such insightful and edifying videos. Please keep it up!
I've had a couple of Epiphany's in my life. And it's been 3 times that I have stopbeing so consumed with serving people. To my department. When I love myself not to be adore. Matt or run to their beckoning call. I started loving myself and realizing that I was valued. When you don't value yourself. Because you've been told while you are a child that you didn't deserve things. And that should always be helping others, and you come second, then you lose your identity. I remember 1 year I rented home out in the country. And I looked after the animals for about a year and it wasn't a small little town. And my nearcity wants about 20 minutes away.. I have a garden. I had this 3 bedroom house to my own. A big backyard is a quiet neighborhood, a population of about a hundred. There was no gas station. There is just one post office one make shift coffee shop . I wasn't paying a bunch of money for rent. So I was house sitting and looking after animals in exchange for low rent. There was a thing a big beautiful tree in front of my place. My neighbor cut my lawn free. I could go to bed at eight o'clock at night and get up at 7 or 6 thirty in the morning.. It reminded me of growing up as a kid: What's apple strees and A Garden, Dogs Cats, and Three oet Monkeys. I had 11 months of silence. No traffic, no fighting neighbors. No ambulance as if I was in a different world and brought back to when I was a child. There was a skunk that would come into my yard. And I started feeding it when it came into the porch 1 day. I trapped it at 1 o'clock in the morning. And it was just a little baby skunk and I knew if it sprayed it had no set LO. L. You could hear Coyotes at night. I could look out at the heavens and see the stars. The big dipper and all the constellations when they were in the position during that time of the year. This was in alberta canada. There was some old countries towns that were still. Like living back a hundred years. But during that didn't want to go back to the city. I just wish that everything could just stand still. And the epiphany I got one day ended up being months of self examination. How many of us can say that we've sar down without any Interference from people from noise from family members from stress and worries for almost 1 year. I loved the will water and the fresh air. So, after all, if that mental and emotional freedom, i come to realize that as an only child who lost my parents before 21 and had a lawyer rob me of inheritance and he stole my home from me. I am a survivor. I became homeless with a nervous breakdown at 18. Only for 2 months. My life and my experiences Flashed back into my mind. I didn't realize what I had gone through and yet I survived. And even though it was not as bad as a lot of people who have gone to a lot worse. Then what I did. I still survived as an only child. I never had a helper. I never had anyone there for me and two years later. And I realize that there is a god. And he's there for us. But we've got to let him in, he's present. And he has a purpose for us all. The whole meaning of life Is to have a purpose. And to be aware of your potential. To ask questions like who is God, what is his plan for us. To let yourself be humble and approachable, trust that your questions will be answered. Remember that we were created for purpose. We were created to get to know God. We were created to live a full life and to ask questiand we were created to enjoy all the surroundings that bring us happiness. We were created to love one another. If we don't reach out We could die earlier because we we are not meant to be hermits.psalms 1:18 So pay attention to your epiphany's And save will open your eyes. And how beautiful to be aware of what's happening to you. What has happened to you and what you should be doing with your life. When you come to awakening, you're self. Awareness will create a new person that was always hidden inside. It's like coming to the end of the dark tunnel. And as you come to the end of this dark tunnel, you can see the light and when you get out of the dark tunnel and you look up into the sky and you look around the beautiful trees in the mountains and the rivers. And you turn around and you look back at that dark old tunnel you realize. That now you are mentally physically and emotionally free. We all have to find where we need to be free in life. We have to find that path to get to freedom.
Peace! I feel like enjoying life and all it has would be enough to keep going. External success is great but I feel as though peace of mind is greater. If I knew I couldn't succeed I would still love life because life is better than being in a "void of nothingness" lol. GREAT work Doc. Thanks!
@@jakelesnake4927 look into the dhammapada or bhagavad gita.. suffering is INEVITABLE.. we have desires and because of that we suffer (we want shit=we get it but want more OR we want shit=don't get it then get angry) I feel like awareness of self is the key. When u start to suffer transmute that energy and do something u enjoy.. or realize that this life is temporary and there is better to come .
Volunteered for Engineers Without Borders building small dams for farmers in Africa to bridge the 3-4 month dry season. A number of women with infants and toddlers came to watch us every morning. Our translator told me the women wanted to show me who their babies and toddlers were - literally. In times of drought, the babies and toddlers were the first to die, being least able to cope with dehydration. Built 2 dams for ~400 people. Year 2 - morning of day 2: the translator - I was wanted at the village center. There was a big celebration - the past year was the first time in 15 years that no one had died during the dry season. Been a civil engineer for 41 years. Best ever “thank you.”
After watching 10s of your videos already this one was the one that did it for me. I was already playing with the idea and you managed to help me put together the whole picture. Thank you for making this video, it was the lasp piece of the puzzle I needed. I'll be looking out for more of your content in the future.
Thanks for making this video, it helped me out quite alot with how I should approach my life moving forward between the internal / external bounds of life.
Life is give and take. We have to take to have life but the greatest reword is in the giving. The un spoken greatness of the American people in the past is how much we all give. Nice video.
I'll still have a problem extracting meaning from known failure. The opportunity of success, no matter how small, provides the hope/reason to fight the fights that are worth fighting.
I struggle to fully comprehend this concept. Through my observations, I've noticed that even when individuals act "for others," they often receive some form of self-reward, even if it's simply "improving their own karma." I see little distinction between acting for a reward and acting for the sake of pure meaningfulness. Ultimately, I believe each person must establish their own objectives because life, from an atheistic viewpoint, lacks intrinsic meaning. Personally, I view life much like an RPG game, where the overarching goal is to progress as far as possible (similar to advancing in levels with age) while accumulating and honing various skills through diverse experiences. If you earn enough high achievements, you might achieve a high ranking and potentially secure a spot in the hall of fame (historical records). With that said, in the game of life everyone is free to set their own goals, as I have previously mentioned.
The two main things that i love to do cost money. That's the problem. I love going on drives in a truck, and I LOVE being abroad. It sucks. I just don't enjoy hardly anything else more except for being with my family (of course). I'm very glad you made this video. I released some tension i had in my body. I've been stressed lately to point where it's effecting my dreams over worry that I'm not doing enough in life. Now, I do understand (through your framing) what is going on.
One of your better topics. A above average presentation. Still not convinced you understand investment at near the same level as transaction. Thank you for touching on Maslow's Hierarchy. Was put into situations where this was the developmental environment before turning 8. Have oriented toward meaning. Have created meaningful items and processes. Focus on fun has diminished while being overtaken by fulfillment. Have been at the fringes to much of what passes for the social realm; even commercial expectations. Some things fall away: When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. Your description of those clients and advisees brought to mind both misplaced cultural priorities and evaluations, and family dynamics that effect children. I used to think the children of many successful people were being shortchanged by neglect through excessive demands on at least one parent's time, misprised perspectives of success, and development that rarely strove for balance. Having met more of those adults and parents over the decades, it seems the household staff, the nannies, or au pairs, can bring more the children than the parents. Or at least more than that parent. Everything has a cost; it is sad to see situations where the children were sacrificed. At least their development can be outsourced for improved quality. Just as sad to see how much of the dating ecosphere reinforces much the same success imagery. Imagery that largely depends on organizational or social hierarchies, easily damaged in bankruptcies, recessions, consolidations, offshoring, etc.
I needed this! 😢 Even as I constantly struggle to pay my rent. And I constantly struggle to provide groceries for my children! I trust you Lord! I’m choosing to keep faith. Walking with faith is the most important thing us christian’s must do. That’s why love compassion and prayers are all we truly need. Please keep me in your prayers. As Christians it’s vital to trust God no matter what we are facing. I want to give up so bad! But God won’t allow me because he is our only strength in this world. As a single mom, things are tough on me. My husband passed years ago. I feel so alone. Both of my sons are autistic and non verbal. I’m constantly struggling to provide for my boys. I’m overwhelmed and so ashamed. Father God hear my prayers. My faith in you is strong! Even though I’m in fear of losing my home. I have faith a miracle is on the way!
Someday, take the time out to look around at everything in your house. If you own a house or if you rent it, just take the time and look at everything inside. Look at your couch and look at the color. Look at your drapes and look at the wall, and look at the pictures on the wall. Go into your closet and look at every single piece of clothing. Look at your lamps. Look at your bed and the blankets on the bed. Look at your haircut. Look at your weight. Look at your books in your bookcase. And as you look at every single thing that you see, ask yourself these questions. 1. Everything that you bought was it your decision? Or did somebody tell you what to buy. Did somebody tell you that those clothes that you have in the closet looked good on you and that you should buy them. Or were those clothes a personal choice. The couch that you have. Did somebody tell you to buy it or did you buy it by yourself? Or did you have to ask somebody their opinion. So you have to ask another question. 2. Do you like every single thing in your house that you purchased. Do you like the color of those drapes? Do you like it? Your clothes do you love to wear them. When you really get down to the nitty gread of the answers to those questions, then you will start finding out who you really are. And did you let other people control you? And did you lose the ability? To think for yourself. 1 day I was sitting and looking around my house. And I looked at every single thing that I had. And I had this epiphany that came over me. It was so strange it was like I woke up from a coma. I said to myself, "Where have I been who am I. Because I started looking at what I owned and what I had and what I bought and realized. It was not a reflection of who I really was. Because I was so used to other people's telling me what to do. What to wear and I had no mind of my own. My self-confidence had been eroded as a kid. I became so codependent that I lost who I was, and I had to get it all back. Because I really didn't know what I wanted in life. Therefore, I let other people tell me how to run my own life. It was based on fear fear that I would lose friends. If I wasn't always there for them. Fear of saying no one, I should have said yes. So never lie to yourself because that's the worst thing that you can do. So, I was getting back to what I was looking at in my home. I started saying to myself I hate all the clothes in my closet.l"" I said to myself, "Would I buy them again?" And the answer was no. I remember the drapes were not my choice. Nothing in my home was my choice. I always ask somebody else for their opinion. Because I wasn't capable of trusting my own. Break free from any negative family believes. Break away from any family that is controlling. Learn to make decisions on your own. Make sure that you are happy. And not feeling guilty for being happy. Listen to your conscience and don't go against it.
The book, "Damned By Praise" made it pretty clear that when we are PAID to do something we initially did for the pure pleasure and joy of it, that pleasure and joy DISAPPEARS, replaced by drudgery. I can testify to this truth from my own personal experiences. Anything and everything I loved doing DIED the moment I tried to make money doing it! So weird. But true. There is one arena where I might not have experienced that sense of death. If I had been able to TEACH the subjects I am still passionate about all these years later.
This reminded me of the young man approaching Christ saying "I have been observing all the commandments, what else?" And he was met by: "Sell everything you own and follow me."
I always shoot for goals I know I probably won't fully achieve. If you shoot for the stars, even if you fail you still will probably make it to the moon. And I find it actually pretty depressing when I hit the stars. It is never as rewarding as the journey, and now I have to find a new goal and journey. And yes, once your needs are met you have to start living for something else or destructive behaviors will crop up. And it should be improving lives around you, which is the most rewarding.
When you have time. Stop all the craziness from the outside world coming in. Give your brain time to rest. Give yourself months of piece and quiet even if you have to take time off from work. And during that time shut the whole world out if you have to in order to find out who you are. Because you have to do that once in your life at least before you die. Because if you die, not knowing who you are and not knowing what you want in life and not knowing what you should do with it, then you wasted your time on the earth. If you don't know what your purpose was and you go to the grave, you're gonna regret not living your life to the fullest under the circumstances that you can. But never expect perfection from yourself. Being a perfectionist is your enemy. And it can be worse than your human enemy. Everything you do in life should never berain on your thoughts on your physical body. Your life should never be a struggle and you have the capability to do something about it and you need as those chances our safe and reasonable. I do not believe and being risky. I do not believe to jeopardize your life. I do not believe you should be foolish with your actions and your thoughts. You were given a good brain try to use it without substance abuse. Give yourself more credit than you have been giving yourself. When you challenge yourself to do something, you can always look back and say to yourself. What was that all about why did I have so much fear.
To have meaning is to think about it. There is this bright open awareness prior to thought were there is no question about life's meaning. There just is being
Hi Dr. Taraban, I've enjoyed many of your lectures so far! Regarding this video, I have a question: 6:00 "action that is neither rewarded nor benefits others is wasteful at best and miserable at worst" I'm curious though, how do people who are interested in developing a skill that brings no material reward fit into this? For example those training and spending a great deal of time to become better at tennis or golf, or learning a musical instrument,.etc? Assuming they have no hope in ever making any money at that, and no-one else benefits from them improving such a skill; but it can feel pretty amazing pushing your own boundaries and discovering new horizons of your abilities and deeper understanding into an area that you hold of intrinsic value and inspiration; especially when it comes at a considerable effort. I'm curious what are your thoughts about this?
Great video. Made, me think. I am very moderately Successful, and I am a big fan of me. I do not Lack confidence or a positive dissipation ; but I am not impressed with myself. I don't think theirs anything that i could accomplish now or in the future that would that would impress me with me. But the thought of being the shoulders of the next generation to stand on to get to whatever goals they may have is pleasant .
I found meaning putting one tiny part on a car working the assembly line. Even it it meant some rich guy with no soul bought to drive to go see Doctor Taraban.
I find meaning in doing those things that I can't not do (things you must do). They're intrinsically rewarding and I'd still do them if I had all the money in the world.
If I knew I couldn't fail, I'd never start. The challenge is the joy in life. When I succeed, I. Usually throw it in the garbage, or just quickly move on to the next challenge.if I knew I couldn't succeed I'd try to prove it wrong.
"Once I heard a song of sweetness, As it cleft the morning air, Sounding in its blest completeness, Like a tender, pleading prayer; And I sought to find the singer, Whence the wondrous song was borne; And I found a bird, sore wounded, Pinioned by a cruel thorn. I have seen a soul in sadness, While its wings with pain were furl’d, Giving hope, and cheer and gladness That should bless a weeping world; And I knew that life of sweetness, Was of pain and sorrow borne, And a stricken soul was singing, With its heart against a thorn. Ye are told of One who loved you, Of a Saviour crucified, Ye are told of nails that pinioned, And a spear that pierced His side; Ye are told of cruel scourging, Of a Saviour bearing scorn, And He died for your salvation, With His brow against a thorn. Ye “are not above the Master.” Will you breathe a sweet refrain? And His grace will be sufficient, When your heart is pierced with pain. Will you live to bless His loved ones, Tho’ your life be bruised and torn, Like the bird that sang so sweetly, With its heart against a thorn?"
I'm not sure i fully grasped it. Perhaps i mist listen it a few more times . In any case i feel that an addendum focusing on more practical/concrete steps would be useful for a dimwit as myself ❤
At 51, i was hoping to be married with 3 kids. Instead I'm on my 3rd ex-wife. so no kids, no siblings, and my best friend dead from very rapid cancer. I've given up hope of ever having kids, and have felt completely lost and without purpose. The bulk of my life was spent doing for others. My reward is to be alone, and presumably be that way until I'm dead. I was hoping this might be the thing that helps me figure out where "forward" is, since everyone keeps telling me "keep moving forward". Instead, i apparently should just keep doing for others until I'm die alone, and rot for weeks before anyone finds me. what an uplifting future I have ahead of me.
I really liked the question that Dr.Orion suggested. "What would you do even if you knew you couldn't succeed?" Maybe you'll die alone, maybe not, who knows. You can still take some power back by trying to pursue whatever you suspect (start small) could give you some direction or meaning in your life. It doesn't need to be fancy or to impress anyone. It has to feel right for you. You will be able to live with yourself in that way.
it seems that any endeavor in life is either an "ends" or a "means", and all the meaning is in the ends, but ends can be corrupted into means, by making it a transactional thing with a reward
So in other words success becomes taken for granted when surrounded by it, like breathing -ever tried holding your breath under water? Valor is going into battle, with a noble cause knowing one won't survive ie succeed, but doing it anyway, because it is the right thing to do.
Since the social culture has been broken years ago, the meaning that used to be in the social bonds is long gone, so on the Spengler view, the rise of Caesars will force everyone to gain meaning by sacraficing for the region controlled by the new strong leader.
There is no doubt that people tend to feel more satisfaction by committing themselves to causes that are more rewarding than merely focusing of things that provide material satisfaction or personal achievement. They are still unfulfilled unless the spiritual nature is also satisfied. That is why in all cultures, at all times there is the desire in most individuals to acknowledge and indeed worship a supreme deity. Mark 8:36-37: For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
Having kids. You have and raise good kids to make a good world you will likely never see. This was always the meaning in life for humans for millennia. Our 'advanced' society has left that behind, labeled it out-dated or old fashion or even oppressive Tierney and that's why every other video by this guy is about the complications and disapointments of trying to find a partner.
That has always been my meaning of life as well. It fits the description he lays out pretty well imho. It's an never ending project about benefiting and giving others without any own self-compensation or expectation of reward.
Orian said actions that are not rewarded or benefit others are a waste at best. I disagree because some pursuits, endeavors or hobbies or only for personal development and may not even be noticed by others
I have backup and plenty of goals to achieve, if 1 plan doesn't work out I don't give up but I also put effort into other plans forward. Plus I have many pathways to same goal for example... If my career or marriage fails, I have backup income, assets like land property and knowledge of other cultures to prosue a better life in other countries with another woman.
If you allow yourself to be controlled by others, they'll come a time when you wake up and realize that you were never true to yourself. You don't want to lose your identity. You want to stand up for what you believe is truth and being honest with yourself will give you the strength to move on and challenge another obstacle. Don't look in the mirror and blame yourself. Look in the mirror and say to yourself. Look what I have learned look what I have accomplished. If you have been a dormant if you have felt you were never appreciated. Don't keep on that road that comes to a dead end. Go on a different path even if it means being lonely for a while as long as you get away from the abuse of people. The bible says love your neighbor is yourself. You can't love yourself if you allow people to tell you what to do all the time. And you can't love yourself if you allow people to swear at you. You can't love yourself if you're not truthful with yourself and others. Wake up and Make your yes mean yes and you're no mean no. Don't exasperate people by being wishy washy. Always have strong convictions and you will be respected for that. Never be pulled in by other problem problems about you. Because there opinion about you doesn't identify who you really are. Don't let their problems become yours. If they don't like you, that is not your problem that you have to deal with. It's something they have to deal with. And it's none of your business what they think of you. You don't want to be drawn into their drama. Let them figure it out themselves because you don't have to answer to anyone. The only one that you have to answer to is god and chris jesus. Give people the freedom to be themselves and appreciate their opinions. Because you will learn from their opinions. I'm even if you don't agree with one another. At least appreciate who they are for what they believe in. You can give your thoughts on something. But you can't force anything on anyone. And everyone has their own free will as it is a gift from our Creator. Never try to control anyone because you take away their free will. That free will was given to us. So why would you want to control anybody and take that away from them. Don't try to think for someone else. Because you have your own thoughts you have to be concerned about and control your own life. Never mind about someone else.
There is one particular battle I will never take part on. And that is the battle of searching for a lifetime partner. I'm scared of women, and I will never ever approach them or talk to them. The only reward you get in that battle is rejection and sadness.
I do have one question... Hopefully you read this doctor.. I come across several women that change their behaviors and become this born again Christian mindset, with the goal to get forgiveness and make it to heaven, is that another example of people still being greedy and trying to find an exterior reward or achievement?
Only God knows a person’s heart but since we all fall short of his glory it is likely that they realize the need for repentance and a change of direction.
I often work with highly successful men. These people have achieved everything society tells them they should want, but they often still feel unfulfilled. This is because achievement and fulfillment aren't really the same thing. In today's episode, I discuss a method for creating more meaning in your life by asking yourself a counterintuitive question: "what would I (still) do, if I knew I couldn't succeed?"
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #meaning #purpose
here's the meaning of life...
just be
(looking for ) meaning is your mind telling you that the fear of death is controling you
"... irrespective of the intended beneficiary, the more that you personally benefit from your action, the less meaningful that action becomes." (Dr. Orion Taraban)
"Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward." (Matthew 6:2 KJV)
That was very difficult and complex question here. I stumbled a lot in my life and my brain has given up trying as a coping mechanism. Am i wrong? i don't know... Many people who has suffered less than me say i'm wrong etc... Hope and everything. Still that's easy to say if you have a family, a good job etc.... Won't play the victim card i know better. Seriously i finished the video long time ago and still processing it. Thx for the headache ^^
The most meaningful and rewarding cases I have ever taken as a lawyer were pro bono cases, fighting for people who could not adequately fight for themselves and could not afford to pay a lawyer. Love this video.
I don’t do pro-bono because 99.99% of these folks are lying about their ability to pay. Rewarding them for it makes no sense. If they’re financial inability is shown to be true? Well, THEN there are other ways to take advantage!😂
EXISTENTIAL MEANING - got it!
@@michaelesq.atpcfii.9862 Maybe find a way to check financial status for proof? Require bank statements for example
@@michaelesq.atpcfii.9862
You represent the 99% of lawyers who give the 1% a bad name.
Seriously? If a pro bono client truly CAN'T pay, you know ways to STIL take advantage of them?
Got it! May you rot in Hell.
👍🏻
The most meaningful job I’ve ever had was volunteering at a horse stable. I saw the results of my work (before/after cleaning), horses were happy, we were doing horseback riding for evacuated kids, after that we would ride in the forest or in the field. Everyone was dead tired after 12+ hours of physical activity but I always think of that period of my life as the happiest. Hopefully I’ll be able to get back to it someday.
I agree. The most meaningful jobs I have ever had and cases I have taken were volunteer. I was helping people who could not help themselves in a complex legal system.
I hope you’ll be able to get back to it someday too! Sounds lovely, wishing you the best
@@laurenmiller9143 thank you! All the best✨
@@jcnlaw thank you for sharing your experience! Giving is more rewarding than receiving 🙂
Hi, love the story and your picture ;)
He who has a "why" to live, can bear almost any "how"
Great video, love the content!
Nietzsche said it best.
I truly believe there's nothing more rewarding than helping others
The secret is doing it out of the kindness of your heart. Not with a transactional mindset of receiving appreciation in return
@@rudeigin When you help others to find it meaningfull Dont do it in case of getting something in return but this state is only possible when you feel you are Rich and not poor who finds struggle for survival thats the meaning the work for free. Tell me if you understand this message.
Finding people who can help you, help themselves. Its hard to carry someone else. I'll drop them off they are dead weight or did it to themselves
Oh, Taraban. Again, you hit it on the head. I'm successful, middle aged, I've got some wealth and I'm single, never married, no family, no kids, parents and brother's dead, live on my own, I've traveled, I have no bucket list because I've already done it all, fit/nicely built and I look around and think, "This is not the way it was supposed to go; it's all for sh*t and now what?" I'm turning into a recluse and going inward. It's not healthy and this is exactly what I've been working on. It's nice to know I'm not the only one. Good video.
That is scary.
Are you still going inward or are you making your way out?
@@hypnoticlizard9693 It's a process, there's never an end. Some days are ok, some depressing & alcoholic. Just as you would imagine.
@@bobdavis7290 I would recommend trying to be physically active everyday. It helps so much, at least for me
The opposite is kind of the same too when you failed at life ^^ I'm not sucessful and don't even try nowadays. Just saying the part which is a problem in your comment is the "it's all for sh*t" part. Is it really? or because you made it, it has no more meaning for you? just asking and stimulating your process of thinking.
Finally a non-dating video! Super useful! This is the most important question.
I’m trying to figure out my new meaning in life. I was married to my best friend for almost 14 years. We have a beautiful 9 year old son. I was a father and husband. We had everything you could ever want. 4 years ago she was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. She survived but went through chemotherapy, double mastectomy, and radiation. Cancer recked havoc on her. I went through my own struggles. I don’t drink, do drugs, or anything else like that. Hard working law enforcement officer. About 10 months ago she divorced me. She just said that she is not in love with me anymore. My world has fallen apart. It’s like she set my soul on fire. I’m trying to focus on my son and myself but there are so many days I wish I didn’t have to wake up.
Looks as though it would help you to learn about grief: maybe even join a grief group. This may be useless to you, but what helps me is that when the overwhelming waves of grief come, don't resist them: feel the full force of them. Carry on doing productive work - even if you're just going through the motions. For me, doing this causes the waves of grief to shorten, and the gaps between them to lengthen.
Jeez, believe me I truly understand what you're being through. Stay strong please! All the best!
Thank you all for your support and kindness. It brings me comfort knowing there are caring people out there.
Thx for sharing ur story. time heals all wounds and keep ur head up
To say I'm glad I found this channel is a severe understatement. I don't always agree with you, but you make countless precious points, well articulated and supported by metaphors, myths, and anecdotal content. The essence is solid and piercing and the packaging of the content is even better. Great work!
I urge people to volunteer more. The good work you perform, the connections you make with the other volunteers and the strangers whose lives you impact CAN and *WILL* help to bring more meaning in your life.
Volunteering is only fun when it is reciprocated with a feeling of high gratitude, loyalty, and an absence of entitlement. Otherwise, it feels more like being used.
@@michaeljordan3932 Yes
Foreign volunteering is also littered with "feel good scams". Be cautious about that too.
Doing sh*t for free? Hell no.
I went into treatment and was encouraged to do this. I realised I’m not willing to be delusional enough to think you can ‘MAKE’ meaning. There was always this little quiet voice in my head that knew I’m not the ultimate creator. It didn’t matter how much art I made- I was in charge and that was the problem.
Meaning and purpose comes from the positive impact your work has on humanity. It can be as simple as picking up trash on the side of the road.
A meaningful life can be extremely satisfying even in the midst of hardship whereas a meaningless life is a terrible ordeal no matter how comfortable it is.
-Yuval Noah
Hearing this message... you bring tears to my eyes, Dr. Onion! Tears!
It's a common experience as a teenager to climb a big hill or if you're lucky, a mountain one sunny Summer afternoon when the days are long, with some friends and sit at the top and look out onto the world.
Suddenly all that you knew looks incredibly small and all the world you can see looks incredibly large.
When I did this at that age, it was the "Why?" question: What does it all mean in effect? Does anyone ever find an answer to that question? It does not seem so... as everyone more or less asked that question Why? and then promptly forgets it, descending back down the hill or mountain, and proceeds with their life out of necessity of what society organizes: Work, Commute, Sleep and repeat to earn a crust of bread, and as you say in the video, the mountain only ever increases in size each generation that learns a bit more... .
With that said, an old poem I came across explains the situation better even if it's not a direct answer to each individual's own unique situation; and to paraphrase it if you're sitting up on that mountain, looking at the universe or world in all its entirety, ask this question to yourself: "IF that IS, then what am I?"
I wish I'd known to ask this question, to put into words what I was wondering as a teenager, all those many years ago. It might help someone else to pose it if they too are high up the mountain looking out as we all do at some stage of our lives...
Sorry but Dr. Onion made me laugh hahaha
Preach! I found that people are usually already doing meaningful work, but they dismiss it as "meh, it's not so important" so over time they put it on the backburner... until it starts to eat them up that they are missing something (that they are already capable of doing). That's at least what I've noticed.
As a highly accomplished medical professional, I'd like to say that this is one of your best videos yet! Of the several decades of surgical practice I can remember some of the more outstanding grateful and not so grateful patients, but the experience of operating on three continents in third world countries (paid my own way) are most memorable
Thanks
perspective shifts like this is what I subscribe for
I get what you are saying. Everything in life worth doing takes time, effort, and sacrifice. Willing to suffer all that and still press on for the good of others is meaning.
This is honestly one of the best perspectives of understanding meaning in life, i strongly recommend everyone to go through this video multiple times for maximum understanding.
Excellent.
Thank you for sharing!
Thanks!
This came at a fortuitous time... Thanks, Dr. Orion!
Hey Dr. Orion!
Your videos have been eye-opening for me. They resonate so deeply as if adding explicit clarity to my intuitive experiential knowledge.
I sincerely wanted to thank you. Thank you for all the effort you put in, to intellectually sculpt such insightful and edifying videos.
Please keep it up!
I like your stuff, great content.
And the more I hear from you the more I realize I don't really have an issue with myself or life.
Cheers for that!
Really appreciate all of the "Meaning-related" content as well, Dr Taraban.
I have been enjoying your shorts and didn’t know your name was Orion until now. Loved your imaginary truths video
I've had a couple of Epiphany's in my life. And it's been 3 times that I have stopbeing so consumed with serving people.
To my department. When I love myself not to be adore. Matt or run to their beckoning call. I started loving myself and realizing that I was valued. When you don't value yourself. Because you've been told while you are a child that you didn't deserve things. And that should always be helping others, and you come second, then you lose your identity.
I remember 1 year I rented home out in the country. And I looked after the animals for about a year and it wasn't a small little town. And my nearcity wants about 20 minutes away.. I have a garden. I had this 3 bedroom house to my own. A big backyard is a quiet neighborhood, a population of about a hundred. There was no gas station. There is just one post office one make shift coffee shop . I wasn't paying a bunch of money for rent. So I was house sitting and looking after animals in exchange for low rent.
There was a thing a big beautiful tree in front of my place. My neighbor cut my lawn free. I could go to bed at eight o'clock at night and get up at 7 or 6 thirty in the morning.. It reminded me of growing up as a kid: What's apple strees and A Garden, Dogs Cats, and Three oet Monkeys. I had 11 months of silence. No traffic, no fighting neighbors. No ambulance as if I was in a different world and brought back to when I was a child. There was a skunk that would come into my yard. And I started feeding it when it came into the porch 1 day. I trapped it at 1 o'clock in the morning. And it was just a little baby skunk and I knew if it sprayed it had no set LO. L. You could hear Coyotes at night.
I could look out at the heavens and see the stars. The big dipper and all the constellations when they were in the position during that time of the year.
This was in alberta canada. There was some old countries towns that were still.
Like living back a hundred years.
But during that didn't want to go back to the city. I just wish that everything could just stand still.
And the epiphany I got one day ended up being months of self examination. How many of us can say that we've sar down without any Interference from people from noise from family members from stress and worries for almost 1 year. I loved the will water and the fresh air.
So, after all, if that mental and emotional freedom, i come to realize that as an only child who lost my parents before 21 and had a lawyer rob me of inheritance and he stole my home from me. I am a survivor. I became homeless with a nervous breakdown at 18. Only for 2 months.
My life and my experiences Flashed back into my mind. I didn't realize what I had gone through and yet I survived. And even though it was not as bad as a lot of people who have gone to a lot worse.
Then what I did. I still survived as an only child. I never had a helper. I never had anyone there for me and two years later.
And I realize that there is a god. And he's there for us. But we've got to let him in, he's present.
And he has a purpose for us all. The whole meaning of life Is to have a purpose.
And to be aware of your potential. To ask questions like who is God, what is his plan for us. To let yourself be humble and approachable, trust that your questions will be answered.
Remember that we were created for purpose. We were created to get to know God. We were created to live a full life and to ask questiand we were created to enjoy all the surroundings that bring us happiness. We were created to love one another. If we don't reach out We could die earlier because we we are not meant to be hermits.psalms 1:18
So pay attention to your epiphany's And save will open your eyes.
And how beautiful to be aware of what's happening to you. What has happened to you and what you should be doing with your life. When you come to awakening, you're self. Awareness will create a new person that was always hidden inside.
It's like coming to the end of the dark tunnel. And as you come to the end of this dark tunnel, you can see the light and when you get out of the dark tunnel and you look up into the sky and you look around the beautiful trees in the mountains and the rivers. And you turn around and you look back at that dark old tunnel you realize.
That now you are mentally physically and emotionally free. We all have to find where we need to be free in life. We have to find that path to get to freedom.
Deep, useful and insightful. Thanks!
My favorite book - conquest of happiness Bertrand Russell talks similar to this topic
Peace! I feel like enjoying life and all it has would be enough to keep going. External success is great but I feel as though peace of mind is greater. If I knew I couldn't succeed I would still love life because life is better than being in a "void of nothingness" lol. GREAT work Doc. Thanks!
I agree until I'm suffering pain. It doesn't take that much pain for the void of nothingness to be quite appealing.
@@jakelesnake4927 look into the dhammapada or bhagavad gita.. suffering is INEVITABLE.. we have desires and because of that we suffer (we want shit=we get it but want more OR we want shit=don't get it then get angry)
I feel like awareness of self is the key. When u start to suffer transmute that energy and do something u enjoy.. or realize that this life is temporary and there is better to come .
Volunteered for Engineers Without Borders building small dams for farmers in Africa to bridge the 3-4 month dry season. A number of women with infants and toddlers came to watch us every morning. Our translator told me the women wanted to show me who their babies and toddlers were - literally. In times of drought, the babies and toddlers were the first to die, being least able to cope with dehydration.
Built 2 dams for ~400 people.
Year 2 - morning of day 2: the translator - I was wanted at the village center. There was a big celebration - the past year was the first time in 15 years that no one had died during the dry season.
Been a civil engineer for 41 years. Best ever “thank you.”
This video isnt just for successful people- retirees , people who struggle with depression , even bored housewives can benefit. Thanks
Brilliant, Dr. Orion. Wow! Deep, articulated, and transversal reflection on life. Ego death is the way. Thanks Dr. Orion.
After watching 10s of your videos already this one was the one that did it for me.
I was already playing with the idea and you managed to help me put together the whole picture.
Thank you for making this video, it was the lasp piece of the puzzle I needed.
I'll be looking out for more of your content in the future.
Thanks for making this video, it helped me out quite alot with how I should approach my life moving forward between the internal / external bounds of life.
Same answer to both questions.
Helping and serving others without any expectation of acknowledgment or compensation.
Life is give and take. We have to take to have life but the greatest reword is in the giving. The un spoken greatness of the American people in the past is how much we all give. Nice video.
I'll still have a problem extracting meaning from known failure. The opportunity of success, no matter how small, provides the hope/reason to fight the fights that are worth fighting.
This was great. Always enjoy your writing! Your serious-to-humor ratio is just right..❤
I struggle to fully comprehend this concept. Through my observations, I've noticed that even when individuals act "for others," they often receive some form of self-reward, even if it's simply "improving their own karma." I see little distinction between acting for a reward and acting for the sake of pure meaningfulness. Ultimately, I believe each person must establish their own objectives because life, from an atheistic viewpoint, lacks intrinsic meaning. Personally, I view life much like an RPG game, where the overarching goal is to progress as far as possible (similar to advancing in levels with age) while accumulating and honing various skills through diverse experiences. If you earn enough high achievements, you might achieve a high ranking and potentially secure a spot in the hall of fame (historical records). With that said, in the game of life everyone is free to set their own goals, as I have previously mentioned.
The two main things that i love to do cost money. That's the problem. I love going on drives in a truck, and I LOVE being abroad. It sucks. I just don't enjoy hardly anything else more except for being with my family (of course). I'm very glad you made this video. I released some tension i had in my body. I've been stressed lately to point where it's effecting my dreams over worry that I'm not doing enough in life. Now, I do understand (through your framing) what is going on.
One of your better topics. A above average presentation. Still not convinced you understand investment at near the same level as transaction. Thank you for touching on Maslow's Hierarchy.
Was put into situations where this was the developmental environment before turning 8. Have oriented toward meaning. Have created meaningful items and processes. Focus on fun has diminished while being overtaken by fulfillment. Have been at the fringes to much of what passes for the social realm; even commercial expectations. Some things fall away: When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
Your description of those clients and advisees brought to mind both misplaced cultural priorities and evaluations, and family dynamics that effect children. I used to think the children of many successful people were being shortchanged by neglect through excessive demands on at least one parent's time, misprised perspectives of success, and development that rarely strove for balance. Having met more of those adults and parents over the decades, it seems the household staff, the nannies, or au pairs, can bring more the children than the parents. Or at least more than that parent. Everything has a cost; it is sad to see situations where the children were sacrificed. At least their development can be outsourced for improved quality.
Just as sad to see how much of the dating ecosphere reinforces much the same success imagery. Imagery that largely depends on organizational or social hierarchies, easily damaged in bankruptcies, recessions, consolidations, offshoring, etc.
I needed this! 😢 Even as I constantly struggle to pay my rent. And I constantly struggle to provide groceries for my children! I trust you Lord! I’m choosing to keep faith. Walking with faith is the most important thing us christian’s must do. That’s why love compassion and prayers are all we truly need. Please keep me in your prayers. As Christians it’s vital to trust God no matter what we are facing. I want to give up so bad! But God won’t allow me because he is our only strength in this world. As a single mom, things are tough on me. My husband passed years ago. I feel so alone. Both of my sons are autistic and non verbal. I’m constantly struggling to provide for my boys. I’m overwhelmed and so ashamed. Father God hear my prayers. My faith in you is strong! Even though I’m in fear of losing my home. I have faith a miracle is on the way!
hope god guide you.
Amen through Christ Jesus
Good for you. Just ask God directly. The one who created Jesus and all of us.
Someday, take the time out to look around at everything in your house. If you own a house or if you rent it, just take the time and look at everything inside.
Look at your couch and look at the color. Look at your drapes and look at the wall, and look at the pictures on the wall. Go into your closet and look at every single piece of clothing. Look at your lamps. Look at your bed and the blankets on the bed. Look at your haircut. Look at your weight. Look at your books in your bookcase. And as you look at every single thing that you see, ask yourself these questions.
1. Everything that you bought was it your decision? Or did somebody tell you what to buy. Did somebody tell you that those clothes that you have in the closet looked good on you and that you should buy them. Or were those clothes a personal choice.
The couch that you have. Did somebody tell you to buy it or did you buy it by yourself? Or did you have to ask somebody their opinion.
So you have to ask another question.
2. Do you like every single thing in your house that you purchased. Do you like the color of those drapes? Do you like it?
Your clothes do you love to wear them.
When you really get down to the nitty gread of the answers to those questions, then you will start finding out who you really are. And did you let other people control you?
And did you lose the ability?
To think for yourself.
1 day I was sitting and looking around my house. And I looked at every single thing that I had. And I had this epiphany that came over me. It was so strange it was like I woke up from a coma. I said to myself, "Where have I been who am I. Because I started looking at what I owned and what I had and what I bought and realized. It was not a reflection of who I really was. Because I was so used to other people's telling me what to do. What to wear and I had no mind of my own. My self-confidence had been eroded as a kid. I became so codependent that I lost who I was, and I had to get it all back. Because I really didn't know what I wanted in life. Therefore, I let other people tell me how to run my own life. It was based on fear fear that I would lose friends. If I wasn't always there for them. Fear of saying no one, I should have said yes. So never lie to yourself because that's the worst thing that you can do.
So, I was getting back to what I was looking at in my home. I started saying to myself I hate all the clothes in my closet.l"" I said to myself, "Would I buy them again?" And the answer was no.
I remember the drapes were not my choice. Nothing in my home was my choice. I always ask somebody else for their opinion. Because I wasn't capable of trusting my own. Break free from any negative family believes. Break away from any family that is controlling. Learn to make decisions on your own. Make sure that you are happy.
And not feeling guilty for being happy. Listen to your conscience and don't go against it.
The book, "Damned By Praise" made it pretty clear that when we are PAID to do something we initially did for the pure pleasure and joy of it, that pleasure and joy DISAPPEARS, replaced by drudgery.
I can testify to this truth from my own personal experiences. Anything and everything I loved doing DIED the moment I tried to make money doing it! So weird. But true.
There is one arena where I might not have experienced that sense of death. If I had been able to TEACH the subjects I am still passionate about all these years later.
This reminded me of the young man approaching Christ saying "I have been observing all the commandments, what else?" And he was met by: "Sell everything you own and follow me."
Finding a meaning is finding a way to make a difference.
I always shoot for goals I know I probably won't fully achieve. If you shoot for the stars, even if you fail you still will probably make it to the moon.
And I find it actually pretty depressing when I hit the stars. It is never as rewarding as the journey, and now I have to find a new goal and journey.
And yes, once your needs are met you have to start living for something else or destructive behaviors will crop up. And it should be improving lives around you, which is the most rewarding.
This was the best video i have ever seen in your channel.❤❤❤
When you have time.
Stop all the craziness from the outside world coming in. Give your brain time to rest. Give yourself months of piece and quiet even if you have to take time off from work. And during that time shut the whole world out if you have to in order to find out who you are. Because you have to do that once in your life at least before you die. Because if you die, not knowing who you are and not knowing what you want in life and not knowing what you should do with it, then you wasted your time on the earth. If you don't know what your purpose was and you go to the grave, you're gonna regret not living your life to the fullest under the circumstances that you can. But never expect perfection from yourself. Being a perfectionist is your enemy. And it can be worse than your human enemy. Everything you do in life should never berain on your thoughts on your physical body. Your life should never be a struggle and you have the capability to do something about it and you need as those chances our safe and reasonable. I do not believe and being risky. I do not believe to jeopardize your life. I do not believe you should be foolish with your actions and your thoughts. You were given a good brain try to use it without substance abuse. Give yourself more credit than you have been giving yourself. When you challenge yourself to do something, you can always look back and say to yourself. What was that all about why did I have so much fear.
What a good explanation where meaning comes from.
To have meaning is to think about it. There is this bright open awareness prior to thought were there is no question about life's meaning. There just is being
Glorious video Doc, thanks!
People have to be successful in ALL Areas Life.💯
New camera? Looks great. Very Vibrant.
Almost a green-blue shifted filter
@@darkerisbetter8699 Probably Sony, I will guess Sony a7 IV
New colour of hair
We need an Dr.Orion book 📖.
I like your videos a lot...especially this one! Since it's about knowing the self. Hope you make more videos like this:) not just relationship videos
Hi Dr. Taraban, I've enjoyed many of your lectures so far!
Regarding this video, I have a question:
6:00 "action that is neither rewarded nor benefits others is wasteful at best and miserable at worst"
I'm curious though, how do people who are interested in developing a skill that brings no material reward fit into this? For example those training and spending a great deal of time to become better at tennis or golf, or learning a musical instrument,.etc? Assuming they have no hope in ever making any money at that, and no-one else benefits from them improving such a skill; but it can feel pretty amazing pushing your own boundaries and discovering new horizons of your abilities and deeper understanding into an area that you hold of intrinsic value and inspiration; especially when it comes at a considerable effort. I'm curious what are your thoughts about this?
This was FASCINATING. Thank you.
That new camera is a noticeable upgrade, thanks for that 👏
Great video. Made, me think. I am very moderately Successful, and I am a big fan of me. I do not Lack confidence or a positive dissipation ; but I am not impressed with myself. I don't think theirs anything that i could accomplish now or in the future that would that would impress me with me. But the thought of being the shoulders of the next generation to stand on to get to whatever goals they may have is pleasant .
Wow! I love this. Gonna watch it twice!
I found meaning putting one tiny part on a car working the assembly line.
Even it it meant some rich guy with no soul bought to drive to go see Doctor Taraban.
I find meaning in doing those things that I can't not do (things you must do). They're intrinsically rewarding and I'd still do them if I had all the money in the world.
If I knew I couldn't fail, I'd never start. The challenge is the joy in life. When I succeed, I. Usually throw it in the garbage, or just quickly move on to the next challenge.if I knew I couldn't succeed I'd try to prove it wrong.
Adopted a Greyhound and embarked on a beautiful journey 💗
You best video so far !
Thank you
Brilliant!!!
"Once I heard a song of sweetness,
As it cleft the morning air,
Sounding in its blest completeness,
Like a tender, pleading prayer;
And I sought to find the singer,
Whence the wondrous song was borne;
And I found a bird, sore wounded,
Pinioned by a cruel thorn.
I have seen a soul in sadness,
While its wings with pain were furl’d,
Giving hope, and cheer and gladness
That should bless a weeping world;
And I knew that life of sweetness,
Was of pain and sorrow borne,
And a stricken soul was singing,
With its heart against a thorn.
Ye are told of One who loved you,
Of a Saviour crucified,
Ye are told of nails that pinioned,
And a spear that pierced His side;
Ye are told of cruel scourging,
Of a Saviour bearing scorn,
And He died for your salvation,
With His brow against a thorn.
Ye “are not above the Master.”
Will you breathe a sweet refrain?
And His grace will be sufficient,
When your heart is pierced with pain.
Will you live to bless His loved ones,
Tho’ your life be bruised and torn,
Like the bird that sang so sweetly,
With its heart against a thorn?"
Words of wisdom.
Thanks for your vids Doc. It helps me a lot.
I love the new camera
I'm not sure i fully grasped it. Perhaps i mist listen it a few more times . In any case i feel that an addendum focusing on more practical/concrete steps would be useful for a dimwit as myself ❤
At 51, i was hoping to be married with 3 kids. Instead I'm on my 3rd ex-wife. so no kids, no siblings, and my best friend dead from very rapid cancer. I've given up hope of ever having kids, and have felt completely lost and without purpose. The bulk of my life was spent doing for others. My reward is to be alone, and presumably be that way until I'm dead. I was hoping this might be the thing that helps me figure out where "forward" is, since everyone keeps telling me "keep moving forward". Instead, i apparently should just keep doing for others until I'm die alone, and rot for weeks before anyone finds me. what an uplifting future I have ahead of me.
You started off wrong. Woman do not make men happy
I really liked the question that Dr.Orion suggested. "What would you do even if you knew you couldn't succeed?" Maybe you'll die alone, maybe not, who knows. You can still take some power back by trying to pursue whatever you suspect (start small) could give you some direction or meaning in your life. It doesn't need to be fancy or to impress anyone. It has to feel right for you. You will be able to live with yourself in that way.
it seems that any endeavor in life is either an "ends" or a "means", and all the meaning is in the ends, but ends can be corrupted into means, by making it a transactional thing with a reward
So in other words success becomes taken for granted when surrounded by it, like breathing -ever tried holding your breath under water?
Valor is going into battle, with a noble cause knowing one won't survive ie succeed, but doing it anyway, because it is the right thing to do.
Brilliant
Dr., how do you find what’s meaningful for oneself? I personally don’t find blankly volunteering meaningful.
Idk if theres already a video out on the subject but id like to hear more about your history
G damn you are an endless well of gold.
Since the social culture has been broken years ago, the meaning that used to be in the social bonds is long gone, so on the Spengler view, the rise of Caesars will force everyone to gain meaning by sacraficing for the region controlled by the new strong leader.
The appeal to patriotism is the last refuge of the parasitic elite.
There is no doubt that people tend to feel more satisfaction by committing themselves to causes that are more rewarding than merely focusing of things that provide material satisfaction or personal achievement. They are still unfulfilled unless the spiritual nature is also satisfied. That is why in all cultures, at all times there is the desire in most individuals to acknowledge and indeed worship a supreme deity.
Mark 8:36-37:
For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?
Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
Having kids. You have and raise good kids to make a good world you will likely never see. This was always the meaning in life for humans for millennia. Our 'advanced' society has left that behind, labeled it out-dated or old fashion or even oppressive Tierney and that's why every other video by this guy is about the complications and disapointments of trying to find a partner.
That has always been my meaning of life as well. It fits the description he lays out pretty well imho. It's an never ending project about benefiting and giving others without any own self-compensation or expectation of reward.
Great work as always
You are amazing
This is true
When we move forward humanity in our lifetime, we return in our next life to enjoy the success. 😁
Do you think altruism really exist? Or anything that we do is for personal gain?
Orian said actions that are not rewarded or benefit others are a waste at best. I disagree because some pursuits, endeavors or hobbies or only for personal development and may not even be noticed by others
To reveal what you want, ask this question.
If you were on your deathbed tomorrow, what things in life would regret not doing ?
I have backup and plenty of goals to achieve, if 1 plan doesn't work out I don't give up but I also put effort into other plans forward.
Plus I have many pathways to same goal for example...
If my career or marriage fails, I have backup income, assets like land property and knowledge of other cultures to prosue a better life in other countries with another woman.
If you allow yourself to be controlled by others, they'll come a time when you wake up and realize that you were never true to yourself. You don't want to lose your identity. You want to stand up for what you believe is truth and being honest with yourself will give you the strength to move on and challenge another obstacle. Don't look in the mirror and blame yourself. Look in the mirror and say to yourself. Look what I have learned look what I have accomplished.
If you have been a dormant if you have felt you were never appreciated. Don't keep on that road that comes to a dead end.
Go on a different path even if it means being lonely for a while as long as you get away from the abuse of people. The bible says love your neighbor is yourself. You can't love yourself if you allow people to tell you what to do all the time. And you can't love yourself if you allow people to swear at you. You can't love yourself if you're not truthful with yourself and others.
Wake up and Make your yes mean yes and you're no mean no. Don't exasperate people by being wishy washy. Always have strong convictions and you will be respected for that.
Never be pulled in by other problem problems about you. Because there opinion about you doesn't identify who you really are. Don't let their problems become yours. If they don't like you, that is not your problem that you have to deal with. It's something they have to deal with. And it's none of your business what they think of you. You don't want to be drawn into their drama. Let them figure it out themselves because you don't have to answer to anyone. The only one that you have to answer to is god and chris jesus.
Give people the freedom to be themselves and appreciate their opinions. Because you will learn from their opinions. I'm even if you don't agree with one another. At least appreciate who they are for what they believe in. You can give your thoughts on something. But you can't force anything on anyone. And everyone has their own free will as it is a gift from our Creator. Never try to control anyone because you take away their free will. That free will was given to us. So why would you want to control anybody and take that away from them. Don't try to think for someone else. Because you have your own thoughts you have to be concerned about and control your own life. Never mind about someone else.
There is one particular battle I will never take part on. And that is the battle of searching for a lifetime partner. I'm scared of women, and I will never ever approach them or talk to them. The only reward you get in that battle is rejection and sadness.
You can overcome it, just like your ancestors once did
A+
I do have one question... Hopefully you read this doctor.. I come across several women that change their behaviors and become this born again Christian mindset, with the goal to get forgiveness and make it to heaven, is that another example of people still being greedy and trying to find an exterior reward or achievement?
Only God knows a person’s heart but since we all fall short of his glory it is likely that they realize the need for repentance and a change of direction.
@@marktapley7571 read what I wrote again please, has nothing to do with God.. I'm talking about the individual and the incentives/rewards.
Competing, fighting precisely
Noticed you have a new camera. Nice