Dr. Frank Conner presents "The Psychology of Love: Do Opposites Attract or Do Birds of a Feather Flock Together?" as part of the 2009-2010 Psychology Lecture Series.
so passion is when you're PHISICALLY attracted to someone and intimacy is when you can tell someone about EVERYTHING and trust them..in order for LOVE to work, you need to have intimacy, passion and COMMITMENT..
i could listen to this even 2 more hours . it gets even more complicated . but the end is really emotional . i'm just used to using 5 drops of natural sex drops spanish fly and the love is on!!he isn't even thinking of some other girls. simple trick uh? and these aphrodisiacs are really easy to use.
yeah i know them too. my man gave me these natural drops as a birthday gift since he thinks i'm so bad in bed. but after 5 drops he completely changed his mind and now he wants me to be like that all the time
8:50 relationship should make you and your partner better people not bring out the worst in each other. 10:08 physical and emotional abuse CANNOT coexist with love 13:47 Opposites do not make great relationships 15:35 Simple "Hi, how are you?" makes people like you 21:15 Similarities are one of the main factors for long term relationship. But opposites do attract for short term 22:11 For basic mating purposes, we are actually compelled to mate with someone different to us but problem is that it is not good for long term relationship 23:30 Self fulfilling prophecy. If you believe that someone likes you, you will behave in a positive way towards that person creating a cycle of liking. 27:35 Men are right upfront about placing attractiveness in their top 3; Women place it 6, 7, or 8, but when you evaluate women's behavior, it's no different than men. 37:30 Share your beliefs, your goals, ect, to create intimacy, attraction and commitment. However, some secrets were meant to be taken to the grave 39:50 Sad reality, marriage dies out after 5 years. Not that you are with the wrong person, just the nature of love 43:40 Do small act of love and appreciation like saying thank you for doing the laundry or stroking shoulders. Do not insult your partner, or berate them; it's the worst thing you can do. 47:35 Physical and psychological and emotional abuse show up the same way on brain scans. _Fighting is not the only way to inflict damage upon the opponent; a man's spirit can be broken in much easier ways_ 56:00 Hurting someone is not a sign of love, as some abusers may claim. Physical and emotional abuse and love cannot coexist. Often time, it is a male abuser, but women could abuse, as well. Abusers will not change unless they get professional help. You cannot fix an abuser, unless maybe you are a professional (???) 58:00 Say to yourself, "I am Worthy of love".
All of this resonates with me. People that deny it are nothing more than "blue pill" thinkers. Looks matter and the only people who it is safe to say are NOT visual are the blind. Both sexes judge by looks first and foremost and looks can influence how you feel about and treat someone. Period.
You might be interested in a study in which blind men found women with a certain hip-to-waist-ratio the most attractive. Suffice to say, that that ratio was is the same which was the most attractive to men who could see the women instead of touching her.
Looks can be deceiving. Lots of good looking people are ugly inside, but the significant other chooses to stick around for “looks” sake.......probably for social status purposes
Actually, looks DO matter to people who are blind. Those who are blind form a mental image of an individual by touching them. The blind can, in fact, 'see' with their hands, similar to how bats 'see' with sound. That being said, most people probably aren't comfortable with having their face felt up by a stranger, so those who are blind are forced to learn about someone and appreciate their personality before knowing how they look.
I think that initial physical attraction is important, even if we don't like to admit it, but like this guy points out, you also need passion, intimacy and commitment and when you get to know the person, that initial attraction won't be as important, you'll be attracted to how thoughtful and caring and funny they are and then it's just a bonus that person's good-lucking. and also, this proximity thing, the more time you get to spend with someone the more you realise how attractive they are..
+thessbest123 +thessbest123 I was slightly interested in your message below. Please tell me you're feedback was nothing more than one of +thessbest123 I was slightly interested in your message below. Please tell me that you aren't medically challenged due to any past head injuries? Are you creeping over into the double digits, 10 year old. Bc There is no greater insult during a misunderstanding, lacking interpersonal skills, experiences and knowledge around the subject of choice. Just wanted to know about meaning behind the message.
+thessbest123 +thessbest123 I was slightly interested in your message below. Please tell me you're feedback was nothing more than one of +thessbest123 I was slightly interested in your message below. Please tell me that you aren't medically challenged due to any past head injuries? Are you creeping over into the double digits, 10 year old. Bc There is no greater insult during a misunderstanding, lacking interpersonal skills, experiences and knowledge around the subject of choice. Just wanted to know about meaning behind the message.
i have always wanted to know what to expect in a relationship and how to make it work. I almost gave up in seeking cos i was afraid it wil fail again. learnt a lot from this. It is not easy but does help. thank you
This lecture made me reflect on my self and made me aware of the important things a couple need to keep a relationship going. Is love a choice ? Maybe...! Got so much love to give and yet so much to learn.
dr ozoey love spell just fixed my relationship. We have been fighting every day and you’ve just fixed it and I cannot thank you enough..Thank you Dr Ozoey for saving my broken relationship and brought my boyfriend back to me. If you have any problem in marriage/relationship.
What people also forget is that your flaws have to be compatible. For instance, if I am overly sensitive or emotionally unstable and you are non-chalant, self-absorbed, and easily irritated we would not work out very well. People always focus on the positive things we have in common but the truth is, our negative traits have to be compatible too.,,i.e I'm unstable but your patient, etc.
Excellent breakdown of what real love is. It’s view of attraction, however, is very Anglo-centric because many cultures have an ancient tradition of not meeting until the wedding day. I would love to see an honest study of those marriages. Of course, it’s all dependent on whether people are prepared to be truthful, despite custom or religious beliefs.
There is only compassion as true love. Co-together passion-suffering. To simply be fully present for another because you recognize on a spiritual level that they are a part of you. Anything else is delusionally caused attachment arising as some form of co-dependency.
Good talk overall but I thought the "how to have a good relationship" part was not very clear, if anyone wants the keys to long lasting love that is backed by loads of scientific data look up John Gottman's book or audiobook "What makes love last?" the dude has been studying this stuff for like 30+ years, he is known as one of the leading experts in the world, great stuff.
4 things i took out from this lecture (could watch again!) Passion might stop earlier than intimacy if it starts As passion, if u wanna go back with ur ex u gotta analytically Measure, relationship dynamics n behaviour, attachment styles, personality = come values, where u wanna live etc
Which is more correct? The need for one to explore and be secure with oneself before getting into a relationship or the use of relationship to grow and be secure with oneself in who he/she is and what he/she has to offer.
everything is a business thats why people need these courses life is too short to have to go through love happens different and yes love exist when unconditionally and not forced fake manipulated it should just flow but dating is a huge business it includes many areas of professionalism and commercialism that benefit out of love, relationships, etc
@yume816 - Outstanding question. The reality of living is that it is full of dichotomies. This is one of the biggies. You need to have a deep sense of yourself as well as a trust for others. Current models of Attachment use this cross-axis model to as a strong predictor of the kind of relationships we may have. As a baby, we start with others, but as gain more control over our world, we need to explore and grow regardless of our experiences. So, it's both.
![[LIVE] : ONE ลุมพินี 72 วันนี้!! คู่เอก "ก้องศึก vs โจอาคิม"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/hT1EOSsRPac/mqdefault.jpg)
so passion is when you're PHISICALLY attracted to someone and intimacy is when you can tell someone about EVERYTHING and trust them..in order for LOVE to work, you need to have intimacy, passion and COMMITMENT..
relationships are so much work - sometimes i honestly feel like i'm happier being alone
This is one of the best explanations of love, relationships, and attraction.
i could listen to this even 2 more hours . it gets even more complicated . but the end is really emotional . i'm just used to using 5 drops of natural sex drops spanish fly and the love is on!!he isn't even thinking of some other girls. simple trick uh? and these aphrodisiacs are really easy to use.
yeah i know them too. my man gave me these natural drops as a birthday gift since he thinks i'm so bad in bed. but after 5 drops he completely changed his mind and now he wants me to be like that all the time
8:50 relationship should make you and your partner better people not bring out the worst in each other.
10:08 physical and emotional abuse CANNOT coexist with love
13:47 Opposites do not make great relationships
15:35 Simple "Hi, how are you?" makes people like you
21:15 Similarities are one of the main factors for long term relationship. But opposites do attract for short term
22:11 For basic mating purposes, we are actually compelled to mate with someone different to us but problem is that it is not good for long term relationship
23:30 Self fulfilling prophecy. If you believe that someone likes you, you will behave in a positive way towards that person creating a cycle of liking.
27:35 Men are right upfront about placing attractiveness in their top 3; Women place it 6, 7, or 8, but when you evaluate women's behavior, it's no different than men.
37:30 Share your beliefs, your goals, ect, to create intimacy, attraction and commitment. However, some secrets were meant to be taken to the grave
39:50 Sad reality, marriage dies out after 5 years. Not that you are with the wrong person, just the nature of love
43:40 Do small act of love and appreciation like saying thank you for doing the laundry or stroking shoulders. Do not insult your partner, or berate them; it's the worst thing you can do.
47:35 Physical and psychological and emotional abuse show up the same way on brain scans. _Fighting is not the only way to inflict damage upon the opponent; a man's spirit can be broken in much easier ways_
56:00 Hurting someone is not a sign of love, as some abusers may claim. Physical and emotional abuse and love cannot coexist. Often time, it is a male abuser, but women could abuse, as well. Abusers will not change unless they get professional help. You cannot fix an abuser, unless maybe you are a professional (???)
58:00 Say to yourself, "I am Worthy of love".
my right ear felt alone in this
Thoght my earphones where broken
I thought my earphone broke
Same bro i got scared for my headphones
Same situation here
Tradução incorreta
"Minha orelha direita sentiu que formigou descolada da cabeça "
🤣
Meme
This should be shown in High Schools, so the teenagers get knowledge and understanding about true relationships and what it is about.
11 years late but at my school they do show this video in psych classes
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
This man is very easy to listen to - thank you, great lecture!
I couldn't stand that the audio only worked from one ear to be honest. I only made it about 30 seconds but im sure it was a good lecture.
All of this resonates with me. People that deny it are nothing more than "blue pill" thinkers. Looks matter and the only people who it is safe to say are NOT visual are the blind. Both sexes judge by looks first and foremost and looks can influence how you feel about and treat someone. Period.
y
for real
You might be interested in a study in which blind men found women with a certain hip-to-waist-ratio the most attractive. Suffice to say, that that ratio was is the same which was the most attractive to men who could see the women instead of touching her.
Looks can be deceiving.
Lots of good looking people are ugly inside, but the significant other chooses to stick around for “looks” sake.......probably for social status purposes
Actually, looks DO matter to people who are blind. Those who are blind form a mental image of an individual by touching them. The blind can, in fact, 'see' with their hands, similar to how bats 'see' with sound. That being said, most people probably aren't comfortable with having their face felt up by a stranger, so those who are blind are forced to learn about someone and appreciate their personality before knowing how they look.
I think that initial physical attraction is important, even if we don't like to admit it, but like this guy points out, you also need passion, intimacy and commitment and when you get to know the person, that initial attraction won't be as important, you'll be attracted to how thoughtful and caring and funny they are and then it's just a bonus that person's good-lucking. and also, this proximity thing, the more time you get to spend with someone the more you realise how attractive they are..
It obviously is lol. I mean how are you supposed to enjoy sex with physically unattractive partner
Interesting course, I think the best way to maintain a long term relationship is to be brutally honest with each other.
Exactly what most people won’t be 😒
So true !!
I'm so thankful and grateful to this professor and all of the questions, they helped me learn a lot.
Great lecture for ESL students. Clear and easy to understand and good use of supporting visuals. Works well with text book units about LOVE.
I’m confident enough to believe I deserve an honorary degree in this field, I believe I communicate love accurately without ever going to college.
This lecture was amazing ! Professor is beyond wise .
my left ear like this.
my right ear disliked this video
nah fam your headphones are just broken
thessbest123 that's disgusting. you need to shave
Today I want to show you a really absurd,
but extremely effective "LOVE FORMULA"
>>===>>MakeHimDesireyou8.blogspot.com ...
+thessbest123 +thessbest123 I was slightly interested in your message below. Please tell me you're feedback was nothing more than one of +thessbest123 I was slightly interested in your message below. Please tell me that you aren't medically challenged due to any past head injuries? Are you creeping over into the double digits, 10 year old. Bc There is no greater insult during a misunderstanding, lacking interpersonal skills, experiences and knowledge around the subject of choice. Just wanted to know about meaning behind the message.
+thessbest123 +thessbest123 I was slightly interested in your message below. Please tell me you're feedback was nothing more than one of +thessbest123 I was slightly interested in your message below. Please tell me that you aren't medically challenged due to any past head injuries? Are you creeping over into the double digits, 10 year old. Bc There is no greater insult during a misunderstanding, lacking interpersonal skills, experiences and knowledge around the subject of choice. Just wanted to know about meaning behind the message.
very informative, but compassionate at the same time. great stuff, you're a good teacher.
If I could, I’d get each person to view this video at least once a year. Insightful and superbly delivered.👌🏽
This is an amazing lecture. Thanks a lot for uploading!
He should have just said at the end "In summary, bitches be crazy" and then left to uproarious applause.
+robotpanda77 LMAO
Thanks for upload this video. I find it that equip my self by knowing love from the psychological side is very helpful in my love life.
thank you dr conner for the amazing lecture, it was very informative :)
Wholesome, informative, and helpful in putting things im perspective. Thanks 🌹
i have always wanted to know what to expect in a relationship and how to make it work. I almost gave up in seeking cos i was afraid it wil fail again. learnt a lot from this. It is not easy but does help. thank you
Love is completely letting go and discovering your absoute, true inner self, which you see in that other person.
+Raiken Xion Lol good luck with that.
Mark EM No bad luck (for me) cause I lost that person
Thank you for the lecture! one of the best and practical lecture i've ever heard about love and relationships.
I could listen to this man forever.
This is really good information. I am so glad I came across this...
I love this class!! thank you SO MUCH for posting!
Dr.Frank Conner is a real visual presentator!
It's balance between harmony of spirits & personality ❤️❤️
Absolutely awesome ! Thank you for sharing the knowledge 🙏🏽
best lecture of love i have ever heard...
I've learned a few things here. Thanks for the post!
I have my degree in psychology. I love these videos😀
Thank you for this talk I got a lot out of it.
Regards Sean
I love psychology and love, great combo in video.
What a great video! Very educational.
I'm glad for the long form on the lecture, & thx for the mirror GRCC...
This lecture made me reflect on my self and made me aware of the important things a couple need to keep a relationship going. Is love a choice ? Maybe...! Got so much love to give and yet so much to learn.
Love this lecture. I learned lots of important information from this. Thanks a million.
This was a very good lecture! Wish I had this teacher
Thank you very much for sharing this on youtube!
Whoa, what a great and engaging instructor! I wish he taught at my University.
It all makes sense now. I don't assimilate with people because I'm the most attractive.
Very informative. Thank you!
very interesting, thank you Dr. Frank Conner
This video is great. I have come to better understanding of how relationships work.
GREAT INFO NICE SIMPLE WAY OF SAYING COMPLICATED THING , THANKS FOR POSTING
This was a great lecture!
Excellent explanation on love! Thanks!
knowledge source , quality based lecture.
I love this! this is a great channel
i LOVED every moment of it :) :)
especially the sternberg triangle :D
thanks a million
I really enjoyed the lecture given. I was some great food for thought and was very informative. I am going to recommend my friends to see this.
dr ozoey love spell just fixed my relationship. We have been fighting every day and you’ve just fixed it and I cannot thank you enough..Thank you Dr Ozoey for saving my broken relationship and brought my boyfriend back to me. If you have any problem in marriage/relationship.
Solid Advice! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for the upload, useful knowledge
ive read these before but they are very good information and thanks for reminding me.
Always enjoy learning new things
im from Colombia and im thankful for to see this thank u so much....this its very interesting for me ... nice day bye :)
i loved how you started wisely then swore :D
This is such a great lecture. Wish the students were more engaged.
Love it!! Verry intresting and informative.
Well demonstrated detailed topic
THANK YOU !!! that's what I was looking for !!!! . some theorethical base about love based on science of psycology.
What people also forget is that your flaws have to be compatible. For instance, if I am overly sensitive or emotionally unstable and you are non-chalant, self-absorbed, and easily irritated we would not work out very well. People always focus on the positive things we have in common but the truth is, our negative traits have to be compatible too.,,i.e I'm unstable but your patient, etc.
Now I know where my professor in RS1 got his lecture about love....Very amazing tho. 😊
Excellent breakdown of what real love is. It’s view of attraction, however, is very Anglo-centric because many cultures have an ancient tradition of not meeting until the wedding day. I would love to see an honest study of those marriages. Of course, it’s all dependent on whether people are prepared to be truthful, despite custom or religious beliefs.
very interesting and makes a lot of sense!
Thank You Very Much Dr, You Solved My Biggest Conflict Which Was In My Mind From Lot Of Years, You Just Solved In a Sometime.
Thanks Really.
What was the conflict in your mind?
Thank you so much for saying physical and mental abuse is not Love..
The fact he had quoted the negatives is a part of our lives'.! Rather than some of our lives'.! Some nt believe in divorace, and no other options'.!
Very good lecture....
I'm proud and happy of being your virtual student...
Excellent information
impressive lecture!!
There is only compassion as true love. Co-together passion-suffering. To simply be fully present for another because you recognize on a spiritual level that they are a part of you. Anything else is delusionally caused attachment arising as some form of co-dependency.
You're right, no intellect argues. Intellects, by definition, cannot argue. But intellectuals do.
FOR ANYONE WHO DOESN WANT THEIR RIGHT WAR TO DISAPPEAR
Settings -> accessibility -> audio -> mono. Pretty much the same for windows.
This guy is the real deal
Good talk overall but I thought the "how to have a good relationship" part was not very clear, if anyone wants the keys to long lasting love that is backed by loads of scientific data look up John Gottman's book or audiobook "What makes love last?" the dude has been studying this stuff for like 30+ years, he is known as one of the leading experts in the world, great stuff.
4 things i took out from this lecture (could watch again!) Passion might stop earlier than intimacy if it starts As passion, if u wanna go back with ur ex u gotta analytically Measure, relationship dynamics n behaviour, attachment styles, personality = come values, where u wanna live etc
Which is more correct? The need for one to explore and be secure with oneself before getting into a relationship or the use of relationship to grow and be secure with oneself in who he/she is and what he/she has to offer.
i really enjoyed your lecture
I have only ever had 2 out of 3 in any given relationship ... but its not over yet and my ❤️stays open.
everything is a business thats why people need these courses
life is too short to have to go through
love happens different and yes love exist when unconditionally and not forced fake manipulated
it should just flow
but dating is a huge business it includes many areas of professionalism and commercialism that benefit out of love, relationships, etc
very interesting i actually learnt alot
@yume816 - Outstanding question. The reality of living is that it is full of dichotomies. This is one of the biggies. You need to have a deep sense of yourself as well as a trust for others. Current models of Attachment use this cross-axis model to as a strong predictor of the kind of relationships we may have. As a baby, we start with others, but as gain more control over our world, we need to explore and grow regardless of our experiences. So, it's both.
Awesome,thanx.Very informative !
Great lecture
Thank you so much really it is very interesting
well I'm never gonna get anyone..
Lmao
how is it going?
Muuuhhh just hit gym brooooooooh.
I know
Looks max that’s all I can say
It was great! Thank you very much!
good insights & information. peace...
NICE ADVICE
What a great lecture, thank you!!!!
I love this!
Great job America! I loved it!