WHY WE'RE ALL LONLEY | Third Place Theory Explained

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 58

  • @UnravelingArchitecture
    @UnravelingArchitecture  10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    QOTD: do you think social media is a sufficient physical third place replacement?

    • @nuntius1
      @nuntius1 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      not at all

    • @JohnQ5
      @JohnQ5 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Nope.

    • @Khorvalar
      @Khorvalar 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      lol! Definitely not!

    • @GeneCash
      @GeneCash 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It depends. Nobody is interested in anything I'm interested in[1], unless I go online and find a forum. [1] which is computers, 3D printing, motorcycles, space, books, reverse engineering, and motor racing. Edit: I'm tired of talking about something I'm interested in and watching people's eyes glaze over, or trying to crowbar out of someone what they find interesting.

    • @diablow1411
      @diablow1411 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      No, it just worsens things.

  • @Khorvalar
    @Khorvalar 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +32

    As a 32 year old this is exaclty how I feel. From home to work and back again, can't make any friends and the internet is no replacement.

  • @eshwarc4288
    @eshwarc4288 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +40

    I think social media is the worst third place replacement ever, already this generation teens are disconnected from the world ,social media would just worsen up things . I am not saying to stop using it but I am saying that tech has to be used wisely it should be expanding your knowledge rather than destroying it. I don't think this is some random nostalgic idea this needs to be taken care by everyone . They should find their third place replacement .Thank you sister I actually learned about a new thing

  • @MartyRozmanith
    @MartyRozmanith 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    I'm glad you are bringing up this topic. When I was an architect, the third place was something I though was a really important design element. We've lost it. Social media is definitely not a third place replacement.

    • @MartyRozmanith
      @MartyRozmanith 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      One thing to note, the spread of Starbucks in the early 90s was a direct reflection of people seeking out third places.

  • @gloofisearch
    @gloofisearch 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    I am so glad these still exist in Spain. You go out in the evening and there are thousands of people gathering and meeting in countless third places. In the US, I felt alone, very depressing.

    • @cyllananassan9159
      @cyllananassan9159 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      they exist because Spain doesnt pay for an army or for medicines and we are taxed 60-70%

    • @CactusGirl-x7f
      @CactusGirl-x7f 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I don’t know how you will love Islamisation of Spain

  • @randyt3558
    @randyt3558 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Old Gen Xer here. We used to hang out at arcades, malls, and rollerskating rinks. Malls are still around, but man, they're boring af...

    • @UnravelingArchitecture
      @UnravelingArchitecture  4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Times seemed to be better!!
      Today, everywhere you go for a “fun” time, it comes w a hefty cost🥲 the decline of malls is so fascinating because as a tween I also hung out there. bring back $5 skate nights!! I don’t wanna go to an interactive art experience for $60. Give me an affordable experience w new, groovy folks to meet.

  • @kurtmill9080
    @kurtmill9080 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    I think the value of community has been gradually eroded since the 19th Century when industrial urbanization pushed people away from rural villages into compactified, slummy work-driven cultures and building spaces.
    I do think that trend could have been reversed through the 1960s to 70s, but since Thatcher & Reagan's election, our species put such an onus on constant efficiency and information driven business at the expense of connection and community.
    In my mind, we can should start to build new cities and spaces that are clean, accessible and mixed use, built with sustainable and local resources.
    And we should use technology in a way that helps us interact with the world, such as through Augmented and Mixed Reality networks NOT plastered with ads, or expand technology to include all of our senses rather than only touch and hearing, as Virtual Reality would offer.
    If we continue to just keep making the same executive business choices we will dig ourselves into bigger holes. We need to become more aware of how we can influence public discourse and policy making so that our cities start building, developing and growing with people at the center, not profit.

  • @PassionateSpirit88
    @PassionateSpirit88 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Our grandparents era had weekly dances as a third place!!!

  • @Peaceloveunity5
    @Peaceloveunity5 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    As a young millennial, I never had a third place. But it sounds nice to have one especially as I'm growing older and things are getting more expensive.

    • @UnravelingArchitecture
      @UnravelingArchitecture  9 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      i agree. i too do not have one. would love one! but do not. and it's hard to even try to "create" social groups and hang out spots yourself, whereas in the past you could just go to this third place to fulfill different social needs. It's a sad reality, truly..

  • @lundsweden
    @lundsweden 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    I'm 50 years old, old I know. I think this problem has been slowly getting worse for decades. Even back in the day, a lot of third places were unhealthy spaces like pubs and clubs (nothing's changed there, except where I live such places have increasingly become mini casinos and no long have live music).
    Church attendance has been in decline (in Australia) for decades, even 50 years ago many people didn't attend often, if at all.
    But churches were definitely third places then, some church-going people back then were more interested in community than the religious side of it.
    For the last twenty or so years, when I've tried joining churches, either the congregation is 20-30 years older than you, or they think you're there to get help (even if you have a good job). It's really very repulsive.
    Other community third places have died off, in my opinion because these days couples both have to work full time.

    • @briansmythe3000
      @briansmythe3000 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yep problem right across the western world people have given up there Religion and openly mock it ,See Parris Olympics
      The City of Churches is no longer known by that name, And is more known for famous Murders
      Plus On line Learning was pushed onto Kids during the Pandemic
      Loosing Learning Social Ques and facial expressions 😮
      This Futuristic world of Computers smart city's
      Isn't all it's cracked up too be

  • @anthonygavin9333
    @anthonygavin9333 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I'm so glad you have brought up this subject because I find it hard to explain to people why these spaces are so important.
    Hear in the UK the Great British pub is a perfect example, it's a piller of the local community where you go when you want to chat, interact and genuinely escape spaces 1 and 2.
    I don't think I have heard such a great explanation... so for this I thank you 😊

  • @serenitysubs933
    @serenitysubs933 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Can we just talk about how terrifying it is that this was all probably planned and done DELIBERATELY FOR YEAR'S?

  • @djbombba
    @djbombba 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Toxic Hyper-individualism - rise of narcissism, decline of community (collectivism) with cheap third places becoming nonexistent, car centric infrastructure

    • @CactusGirl-x7f
      @CactusGirl-x7f 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It’s only your problem when you can’t find any friends. Find someone who cries hard like you and you will be fine

  • @thirsty_ear_7507
    @thirsty_ear_7507 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I wonder if team sports participation is down? Soccer has always been my third place from the age of 4 on. Getting together with childhood friends, kicking around a ball some days but trying to win a tournament on others.
    Have you read the book “Bowling Alone” the author talks about the decrease in civic engagement since the 1950s.

  • @commandosolo1266
    @commandosolo1266 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This might be unimaginable to others, but growing up in the US with an alcoholic father, I spent an awful lot of time bored in bars while my father enjoyed his Third Place. As a young officer I think my my most significant contribution to National Security was being the designated driver for large groups of soldiers spending their evening in Enlisted clubs. I now have strong negative feelings toward alcohol and pubs in general. The US has never, at least in my lifetime, had a Third Place that was healthy.
    Perhaps churches, shopping malls and now online spaces were meant to be Third Places, but to me they feel designed to psychologically manipulate or exploit.
    I suspect the wealthy have country clubs like Mar-a-Lago where they can congregate for a fee that prohibits most people, where they can connect and make business deals, and don't care that the rest of us go from home to work and back again forever.

  • @MrFuryGamesFull
    @MrFuryGamesFull 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Can a third place act as a personal individual space? You emphasized so much about collective experiences and interactions, but, I guess, I need some time for myself to be away from my first and second places without the presence of other people to necessarily interact. Of course, sometimes I could bring people over or even meet new people at this place, but it wouldn't be the goal. Am I thinking in a different perspective from the video? Or am I just considering a different approach to the same topic discussed?

    • @Khorvalar
      @Khorvalar 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I think so, the way I see it is that a third place is a place outside of home or work where people can just "exist." :D

  • @samkelocele19
    @samkelocele19 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I live in KwaZulu Natal South Africa, we also have the same problem. We dont have any third place, the only place where i can spend time outside my home is at my freind's place. Sometime i just feel like im invading his space😓

    • @davedsilva
      @davedsilva 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Talk to him about it

  • @markgibson7123
    @markgibson7123 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Front porches of peoples houses used to be a 3rd place. You would talk to neighbors next door or others as they walked by. Kids would hang out and play. Adults would gather and chat about things, maybe have a glass of ice tea or a cup of coffee. The front porch and the front yard was a quasi-public/private space that invited interaction with others.
    Today we have lost all that for the most part. No front porches at all, or they are merely decorative, not useable. Kids play in the back yard because of fear of "stranger danger", or are driven to gyms and sports fields for their exercise and play. All the things that used to bring us together as a community have been taken away.

    • @davedsilva
      @davedsilva 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      So true. Schools were also vibrant where we hung out after school and returned after dinner.

    • @jumbothompson
      @jumbothompson 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Everyone is so shy and afraid now. I don't know if it's the internet or the city life but people don't interact anymore. A lot of people have lost the ability to have a spontaneous chat or conversation. Just an observation.

  • @Aritul
    @Aritul 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Very interesting video!

  • @edwardmclaughlin7935
    @edwardmclaughlin7935 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    How about this for an idea. People could start inviting strangers into a part of their house for limited hours during some days. People could just walk in and be in the company of other people they've never met; even maybe start up a friendship, or just pass the time of day, say hello.
    It would be a good idea to offer maybe some refreshment and perhaps a little food for those who decide to stay a while. How about a little background music? Some visitors might want to partake in some sort of gaming activity such as pool or cards.
    If things work out, these places could become a sort of community hub to hold places together - provide cohesion and overcome feelings of isolation? Think it could work? Worth a try, surely?
    So, if the proposal is to utilise houses for this purpose, and the idea is to offer invitation to general members of the public; then we might call such places "Public Houses". Sounds a bit stuffy I suppose so maybe we could just shorten that to something a bit more chummy.

  • @Cal_03
    @Cal_03 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Pubs, clubbing, parks and shopping are the only third spaces left really, with the occasional library here and there
    Even then the nicher pubs, clubs, shops, libraries and even public parks are closing.
    Everywhere is just expensive and dangerous, walking to these places is a pain cuz of all the roads, traffic and illegals.
    Third places havent completey died here in the uk, but its not looking good...

    • @Artfultaste5550
      @Artfultaste5550 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Skateparks are another really good third place too the other third places are locked behind a pay wall

  • @herbtarlic892
    @herbtarlic892 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I'm sure you'll be able to tell my age from my response. All those online "meeting places" cannot and never will be able to replace the physical world in any way. In the real world (remember that?) You would sit down at an agreed spot, with your coffee, along with your buds. You elbow each other in a silly, teasing way and overhear Clyde jawing about his car. Someone opines, "Get a horse!" Laughter ensues. Oh, there's Boris! Hey man! How goes? Siddown, take a load off. Where've you been all summer? Hector pipes up, "I know where he was!" "You keep quiet, dude!" Everybody laughs because they all know where he was... Nobody can tell me that level of chill convo is possible online. I've tried it and it doesn't work. I could go on, but you get my drift.😏😳👈🙄😊 Emojis... gimme a break.

  • @3oopeoples
    @3oopeoples 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Lucky to have a third place as a card shop. Board games, table top and trading card games being the common denominator.

  • @DavidFf-nl4uk
    @DavidFf-nl4uk 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    every thing you said is true but its not soo easy to be better when we're this hooked

  • @briansmythe3000
    @briansmythe3000 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Wow I watched your other video on American suburbs and that
    Well done young lass your very clever 😊

  • @tomsisson660
    @tomsisson660 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    In 1992 I met someone from the city council of Eugene Oregon named Kevin Hornbuckle and he talked to me about urban sprawl. He said that it would be coming in an about 10 to 12 years. I thought at the time he had to be wrong, he is a socialist.
    Tom Sisson

  • @mikesteelheart
    @mikesteelheart 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    So true unfortunately. Even if you happen to go to a 3rd space like say a dog park or gym it's still difficult to build any kind of social connection cause we're all conditioned to be individualistic and keep to ourselves. Technology has made it much worse and it's even harder if you're a guy cause we're further conditioned to act like we don't care about social connections.

  • @dangerczak8916
    @dangerczak8916 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I think it all began with television and putting TV's in social spaces was a terrible idea (flat screens made things even worse).

    • @UnravelingArchitecture
      @UnravelingArchitecture  3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Check out Learning from Las Vegas by Book by Denise Scott Brown & Robert Venturi!! They had a huge influence (in my opinion) in the spread of this tactic. The book talks about commercial strip aesthetics, legitimizing the visual language of billboards and signage. They analyzed the influence of advertising and really validating/standardized the use of BOLD visuals. We're just proliferated with screens and advertisements in public spaces. Really interesting stuff.

  • @SilverFan21k
    @SilverFan21k 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Did you have success on meetups

  • @rabidfollower
    @rabidfollower 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    A third place is only helpful if you gain meaningful interaction and activities from it. Meeting tons of people in a book club would be torture if you are not into literature. But if you find something meaningful to do other than your housework and your job, then you can find that meaningful "third place," even if it resides entirely online and you interact with only virtual people. It's all about how it stokes your passion and how much you gain in return.

  • @andrecouverette
    @andrecouverette 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Banning smoking didn't help. Smokers no longer went to the bar. So, their friends didn't go. Soon, nobody went.

  • @Naturlich133
    @Naturlich133 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Please post some positive solutions. 😊

  • @DFYYouTubeCashcow
    @DFYYouTubeCashcow 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    U need to improve your thumbnail at least and also want to create a good content structure.

  • @ChrisHillASMR
    @ChrisHillASMR 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    the third place was the digital playground, now the video game market is not worth the money.