Exactly. And I'm glad he started off the video by saying he doesn't normally buy into all that mess. Instead, he answered using his assumption of what the guy was talking about. That's one of the things I love about Jimmy.
Exactly and people in the comments are still taking at face value that a "feminine energy" exists at all, it's embarassing as HELL considering the only people who buy into this are grown adults.
I think it just refers to traditional feminine and masculine behaviours, which isn't necessarily limited to only one gender considering current time and age. Guys can mellow down when they are comfortable too. Guys can be feminine when they are comfortable too. Ykwim?
A CRUCIAL part of making it safe for women to be in their “feminine energy” is also to promptly keep one’s promises (ie. do chores without needing to be reminded) and make sure she isn’t responsible for all the planning/organization! Women can’t relax if they are carrying the majority of the mental load!!!
This is true. You’ll recall that she was more into her feminine while initially dating, because that’s when he’d be showing more masculine effort, plus she didn’t have all the household labor on her shoulders yet.
How’s about don’t try to make her something she isn’t? My husband and I butted heads in the infancy of our marriage because he was constantly expecting me to be “other”. Instead of liking me flaws and all, he saw me as a block of marble that he needed to cut chunks off of to suit his vision, rather than just appreciating that I could be used as is, and had value as is. Finally, one day when he complained I was “too independent”, I snapped back and said that these were all the things you claimed to love about me and now you want it to change. Then I asked him during which period was he lying. Don’t make her feel like she needs to learn to be comfortable without you.
To be honest, if I had a husband and he told me I should be "more feminine", that's instant divorce. I would never, ever tolerate such bullshit. You have two options, embrace me like I am flaws and all, or fuck off. If you feel comfortable sharing, (if you don't, I'm sorry in advance) what did your husband do when you told him that? That those were the things he claimed to love and now he's trying to change you?
@@LesleyMcgonagall ....and that's why communication is important; not a good idea to just jump to divorce or breaking up over things that can be discussed and worked on. People these days give up too easily on each other.
I'm with you, @karlaa5977 . Totally on point. I had never thought of it like that...good to have other perspectives for other ways of looking at things.
My husband loves my more “masculine” attributes (particularly ambition) alongside the feminine. I’m just real around him and he is with me, too. He’s in tune with his feelings which people would see as feminine. We really just compliment each other well 💕
To me it sounds like the man is insecure in his masculinity and in himself. Like he has to "compete" against her and he feels like he is about to loose.
@@nickorange4881well being a man, he feels like HE should be the dominant, that HE should be in charge. He still is, but he needs to just love her as she is.
He could also feel the need to compete for a role if there is someone else also trying to performe it. His reading can be wrong, but he also could be dealing with a girl that wants the type of indepence that makes no sense in a love relationship. It's a partnership. Does she seek him for some sort of support? What type? What is his space for contribuiting and what role she expects him to fulfill? Men are prone to feel good and strong when they can be protectors (testosterone). It doesn't take an "alpha-boy" to like it.
Being confident, a leader, rational and strong … those are attributes in a woman that will usually make men feel insecure. Being aloof, independent, self sufficient, and emotionally closed off … also attributes making men feel insecure. But not all of these attributes are symptoms of negative aspects of a person’s relational being. Some men feel like they also need to personify these attributes in order to be men. What’s the deal? Can’t we just be strong and confident without being “masculine”? Any of us?
I have to disagree with this take. I’m a woman who would be classified as in her ”masculine” energy all the time. And it’s because I was loved, encouraged and accepted growing up. I grew up with no real influence of gender roles and was never discouraged from feeling or doing something because I was a girl. I’m independent because being dependent on someone isn’t logical. I’m stoic because I know you can’t control what other people do, only your own reaction. And I am solution driven because the faster I can solve problems the sooner I can get back to having fun. Your advice to the question should have been do nothing. If she’s happy and healthy being in her “masculine” energy, leave her alone and find someone else who fits what you want in a woman.
Exactly my point. Like- am I the only one who feels threatened when they try to “make” me feel feminine? Cuz crying and smiling, having good communication has nothing to do with being masc or fem
Exactly. I hit upon that elsewhere, that independence is not a sign of emotional damage. It's just a sign that we value ourselves. And ANY person asking how to "change" their partner needs to leave and find a new partner. You explained all this very well
The problem is that we don't know what OP actually means when he says "masculine energy" but apart from that, I do agree with you. Jimmy definitely has a point too, especially when considering this is about an intimate relationship where it should be normal for all parties involved to feel vulnerable- or feminine, as one would put it.
I also feel this way. I grew up idolizing older brothers and the teachers at my martial arts school along with my parents expecting us all to pitch in on every chore, so I'm quite masculine. My boyfriend was raised in a city so in a lot of ways I know the "masculine skills" better than him (although I'd say he's more masculine than me in total). I'm very solution-oriented and the women I've known actually seemed to like it because I would listen, then help them solve the problem. Even when they didn't want my help, they'd often later say "it gave me something to think about" or "I should've done that" or "I should've at least done something". I think these behaviors are useful and should be encouraged in everyone. There's nothing wrong with wanting comfort especially about something you can't just solve, but we should teach everyone to be clear about if they're asking for comfort or a solution, and everyone should know how to come up with solutions themselves. I'm also autistic which I suppose has some effect, since the drive to optimize is so high for me. Everything should be systematic so I can do it as efficiently as possible, and people sometimes see cutting the waste as "unfeminine lack of attention to detail" or "masculine ruthlessness" when it's just because I want to take care of my basic needs with minimal time and effort so I can, as you said, go back to enjoying life. It doesn't really seem that odd to me. I enjoy some feminine things and feelings but if someone tried to make me "open up and be more feminine" they'd probably be wrecking my efficiency for nothing. Femininity is associated with unnecessary acts and while people can argue all day about what it really is, as long as that association is the norm, I have little use for femininity.
It sounds like you are describing me! I am a lot more apt to be guarded because of how I was treated in my family of origin. I was the scapegoat; nothing I did was right or good enough. Thankfully, I have been working on myself the past few years. At 60, I finally came to love myself. I will be 62 next month and am awaiting my perfect mate. I'm happy that I have not settled for less than I deserve! ❤
I used to be almost absolutely silent as a child. I showed no reaction at all and eventually got told by the therapist when I wondered why people would see me completely differently from person to person, that I let them tell my story however they wanted to by being so isolated.
Oh gosh, hello sister! Another scapegoat here. I am so happy for you🌷 Our love for ourselves is the most important relationship of all, that's where it all begins. I wish you everything ❤
Why is he in relationship with someone with characteristics he dislikes? Hope she figured out his true intention to wanting to change her nature and dumped him.
Sometimes women give off feminine energy during the courting phase (a mask) to attract men, then when they get comfortable they take the mask off. This creates a masculine-masculine dynamic that doesn’t work. Sometimes this comes from a woman seeing her parents’ dynamic and seeing a leading matriarch or being abused and needing to guard herself. The guy here may want her, but not in a masculine space. Wanting a woman to be open and happy instead of closed and guarded isn’t a bad thing
Thank you for this! I think people would consider me to act in my “masculinity” but you summed it up perfectly. It’s all as a result of the things I’ve been through, not feeling accepted, loved, respected or protected. However, when I let my guard down with people that I can be myself with and show me kindness. Sorry to say, but if a guy is asking this question then the girl is not in the right relationship. Sometimes us independent girls just need extra love and kindness to drop our guard. Sometimes we are who we are out of circumstance and not by choice. Thank you😢🙂
Come to Jesus. He is far more wise and loving than any man could ever be because Jesus IS a man AND God at same time to this day. Jesus promises to embrace all those like yourself who have been through so much and love them deeply and intimately more than anyone in the world can. Jesus won’t tolerate bad behaviors and beliefs that poison your heart keeping out love for Him, from Him, and others either because he will gently hold you and heal you if you want him to. God is Love and he won’t force himself on you be because it goes against the free willingness to give and receive Love both from him and others.
@@Justyouraverageguy172 I am a Christian but there’s also practical examples on how to love a person. Love languages were not created by Jesus, but it’s a thing.
@@debbienyarkoBut the Love of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit is how a husband is supposed to love his wife and others specifically talked about in Ephesians 5. To therefore deny the differences of male and female and the different but equally important roles of husband and wife is to disobey God’s original design for marriage outlined in Ephesians 5 and by Jesus choosing our own idea of marriage by rejecting Scriptures like feminism teaches women to do worshiping the curse of women dominating men and their husband with their independence in Genesis 3. The husband is required to be the leader, provider, and protector like the Father and intercede on behalf of the family to God as the Son does for us submitting to God’s leading and guiding the family keeping them in the Truth of God like the Spirit does. The man is supposed to love his wife like God loves us and the wife is to love her husband as we are to love God as in submission to the husband and God choosing to do so instead of pride and independence.
@@Justyouraverageguy172 My guy, JesusDied got everyone and yet we're still bIaming allWomn for Eve. It's not freeWill of you have to bepunished for God'ss failures.
They're not different than ying and yang or hot and cold. The concepts are useful IF they are applied correctly and the correct application is, that all people have all aspects and in best case balance all 3 (feminine, masculine, non-binary) in a way that works for them. Or call it "receptive, giving, neutral" or "inwards protective, outwards protective, neutral" It was split by genders cause that's how these principles were observed in societies that stuck to gender roles more. More precisely, scholars with the leasure to study were most likely found in upper classes where these systems were particularly stiff. 😂 The observations of the principles are good, but we've come a long way and gotta replace the gendered terminology around it, cause that's the part that was never a solid rule to start with and when it was made one, it did more damage than good. The concept is still useful to learn about all aspects within ourselves and how they click or clash with others.
@@KxNOxUTA They aren't useful at all. PeopIe are geared both toward faIse dichotomyy and negativeBiases. Blend the two and we have an absolute disastrous recipe.
I cannot express how grateful I am to have found your channel. I may never in my life find a man this emotionally intelligent. But, this still gives me hope in miracles.
@@sparkles999rose2 In my experience that would be true. But, I absolutely agree it should be mandatory to raise the bar. Every time I tried I seemed to fail in different ways, and have stopped trying lol.
@@Turai12 I have pondered that option in years past. In some ways I think it would be a ton easier… but, I also pondered the thought that there would be two hormonal women in the house. I’ve had female (and one gay male) roommates in the past and they made my life miserable lol I can only imagine how much harder it would be with romantic involvement in the mix 🤣
Stupid logic, if indeed she has flaws amd you love her then its demanded that you try to better her but in a constructive not destructive way. If indeed its not something bad that she has then yes accept her as she is.
Exactly! Why date women who aren't the kind of "feminine" they're looking for and then complain about her being not what she ever was!!? Nobody buys a car and complains that it doesn't water the plants.
@@Turai12 seems you read the first few words and stopped. I was speaking in a general sense, as again I and you and we in general dont have the characteristics that made this guy believe she was "masculine" be them bad or good, Which is why I spoke in general terms.
This “masculine/feminine” energy seems like a covert/indirect way of saying “behaving according to gender norms I was acculturated to expect the opposite sex should stick to”.
Actually that is exactly what it is. If a women has a food career and made 6 figures happily, she is giving off masculine energy. If a man washes the dishes and cooks dinner, he is giving off feminine energy. A women in jeans and a flannel is being masculine. A women who can change and does change her tire is in her masculine energy. Basically, if a women does anything that isn't traditional women things, masculine. It is a bunch of BS.
No that’s not what he meant, feminine energy is a real thing and amazing for woman to be in.. but what he says in the video is true.. I’m too much in my masculine energy also because of the same reasons he said above.. I want to be in my feminine energy so that I can relax more, and sit back and let him do the effort but you need to feel safe to do so..😅
@@Essje2 then how would you define feminine and masculine energie? I thought about it, and all I could thought of, was stereotypical or sexist stuff. You wrote, that you want to relax and lay back more and let him do the stuff. Like he is the one in charge? Like he is the man in the house? That sounds just really stereotypical and not biological at all.
I'm a masculine woman. When I'm insecure or don't know anyone I'll act in a more meek and traditionally feminine way. However when I'm happy and confident I'll act in a more masculine way; taking charge of my life, motivating my significant other to do the same, protecting them and caring for them, becoming more direct and brave, welcoming challenges, etc. I don't like that that's considered "masculine", I think it's just how a normal human being acts when they know who they are and are confident about it. I'm naturally stoic not because I'm hiding my emotions but rather because that's just the way I am.
Masculine energy for a woman is when she is in survival mode, she has to be tough. If you’re the reason she’s in survival mode, bc she can’t depend on you and doesn’t feel loved or heard or seen by you, you’ve given her no choice but to have masculine energy bc you aren’t embodying masculine energy yourself. When you protect and provide and give her what she needs to thrive then she will be in her feminine receiving energy, she will know that you’ve got the masculine covered. These are subconscious things, and masculine and feminine will naturally balance when they are functioning in their roles as they were meant to. Women will bloom and thrive when they are safe and loved and treated well, and they feel safe to be feminine, and she gives back ten fold what she is given to her. That’s why men who treat their mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters well are rich men in some way or another, bc they bless themselves by blessing the women in their life. It’s in women’s nature to care for those they love, reciprocity is on a heart level in this regard. For an example, my partner treats me like an indentured servant bc he knows I have no other options as a stay at home mom, and that keeping my family together is of the utmost importance to me. He treats me very badly and wonders why I’m not fun to be around. I’m plenty fun. Not going to be fun for a tyrant. Not going to go out of my way for an overlord. Not going to ask him how his day was just so he’ll have an excuse to hear himself talk…when he makes sure I can’t leave the house. If a man is asking this question, I wonder his motives. I wonder if he loves her at all. Femininity isn’t just being something shiny to look at.
It's worrisome that the guy who wrote the letter seems to care more about her femininity rather than her mental and emotional health. Feminine energy sounds like something that exists for the guy. If he were asking how he could connect with her more deeply or find out if she's okay, that would have been better.
"These are subconscious things, and masculine and feminine will naturally balance when they are functioning in their roles as they were meant to. Women will bloom and thrive when they are safe and loved and treated well, and they feel safe to be feminine, and she gives back ten fold what she is given to her." We have to remember is easy for women used to be the man to not know to be protected and let go of the armor even when she is with the guy that does everything right. To trust the man and relax can be a difficult proccess.
No! Women can be “masculine” without trauma!!! That’s insane you think that way. Women are allowed to be independent and strong without being judged as broken. What kind of bs is this. Is this 1950?
And women don’t need to be given anything to make its value ten fold. That’s an ancient idea. Women can earn way more money than a man. Men actually do a worse job as providers in today’s world. No one wants to even hire men anymore. I know you won’t listen, but you need to plan your escape. It’s insane how messed up your head is. And try not listening to this idiot. And when you’re finally independent don’t just go date another guy. Some people can’t judge character and you’re one of them. Stay single forever.
My entire marriage I was the one who had to worry about the chores, the yardwork, landscaping, dog grooming/care, cleaning the garage, making sure that the tortoise habitat would be suitable, painting the house, keeping the autos clean, and more. I was in constant "preserving my life" mode. My husband grocery shopped, cooked (not clean up afterwards), and took the autos in for oil changes. He thought that was fine because he did not mind a slovenly house and yard. My opinion was that if he was going to deprive me of a husband then I was going to deprive him of a wife. Prior to that decision I had many, many conversations about the imbalance and he said that he doesn't care. I made sure to have opposite work hours/days off from him, I moved into the guest room, and prepared financially for leaving him. I finally did after 11 years.
I am always going to be sn independent lil cuss. If you prove to me you're worth it, I will be your partner, but i will never be your subordinate. If you don't like my "masculine energy" the door's over there, if you just leave or let me go I'll wish you well. And yes, I'm coming up on 30 years of marriage to a man who values me as an equal.
Let's go girl! I wish there were more women like you. I don't give a shit about what you consider to be "feminine" or "masculine"😒 I do whatever the fuck I want. If a woman wants to be submissive to a man, that's perfectly fine, but men should never expect women to be like that.
Being in a feminine role has nothing to do with subordination. 🙄 Feminine is not about machismo, it's not about being submissive or weak or following the man... It's being valued for having and performing "soft power" skills and having soft qualities. Think stereotypical delicate gay men type of skills and qualities. Feminine. Not inferior. You have to desconstruct the internalized misogyny.
@@dsoul1305 Sooo you want us to accept "stereotypical delicate gay man qualities" as a valid description, buut also are encouraging us to "deconstruct internalized misogyny" 🤔🤔
@@LTeeeeeeeee To say that many Americans don't know Africa is not a country can look demeaning, but it's just an unpopular fact. I'm not saying every gay man is delicate or gays are stereotypical or that delicate gay are always feminine in ways or that gay man qualities are those considered stereotypical or any other mean reading. I'm stating the unpopular fact that those popularized oversimplified images of delicate gay man hold the feminine qualities that society bash on women. If I were at the academy I'd phrase differently. The best treatment is the one that the patient can follow, not the one assigned as best by the book.
when you said I don't believe in masculine and feminine crap, you bought a loyal subscriber, god forbid I hate those theories of masculine and femininity, I even had this as a red flag in a person or in a dating advice, if someone mentions this crap I am out! and You caught my attention ! Instantly...Love from India.
I think if someone brings it up this way, you need to explore what they mean without just walking away. They may have just heard some ideas somewhere and don’t realize how misguided it is. Give them a chance they may just be confused.
Big tip… when she asks for something please try to remember and get it done if you cannot or prefer not to it’s cool but say you can’t or won’t. We stay closed off because when we have tried to rely on others we are reminded why we can’t, it’s not your fault we were raised that way…
Isn't is funny that these kind of questions are just another form of control, which keeps you from having the Safety you are both seeking. Love this answer.
Thank you for doing this amazing work. Women are so criticized for not being enough. I used to feel so self-conscious because of the constant criticism, so I could never really be myself. A lot of the time, we feel like our only choice is to let men mold us in order to gain acceptance. Thank you for helping men understand there is a better way for everyone.😊
I foresee that masculine/feminine “energy” as a concept will be out the door in a few decades. It’s so diminutive to categorize socially-constructed personality traits into the gender binary. It also doesn’t have to take trauma to have a biological female develop a sense of independence, assertion, or stoicism - these can all develop through parenting styles or cultural norms. On the flip side, men *could* be taught to be more emotionally open very easily.
I hope so, it almost makes me mad sometimes on just how simplistic these terms are, and how people that use them generally see things. But in the side of it being easy to teach men to be more open emotionally, i have to disagree. It is build in so strongly, and it is such a defense mechanism for them to use (my personal experience from my friends, family and parent figures here from Brazil) this persona that don't care about feelings and solves anything by imposing or threatening violence, that breaking that would break their ego, just like on processing strong emotions like trauma. If you were to chance the culture to teach men to be emotionally vulnerable since their youth (which is what they would normally do if not taugh otherwise), then yeah, but i would say that applies to most things, its magnitudes easier to teach a good method since the beginning instead of needing to rebuild someone with all of the consequences of their mistakes on top of it. Maybe our culture is more traditionalist, but i see the same heavy, suffering-full past on the men and the woman that closes themselves overtime...
Idk what these other nay-sayers be spouting in the replies to this comment but uhhhhh Even though I agree wholeheartedly, I also appreciate you sharing stance with the rest of the maybe (or at least, as we see in the replies here) not so likeminded audience members
@@firewolf9493If they can't be more open and vulnerable emotionally then they really shouldn't expect a partner. Why should we women bother dating people who aren't mature enough to be vulnerable?
@@andrearace1168seems like they're anything but a incel from their post? Incels wants weak, submissive women who won't talk back or see their own value.
We should never expect our partners to change. However, needs and feelings on both ends are completely valid. The most we can do is to communicate about it openly and honestly.
I appreciate so much you highlighting the complexity in the situations when answering these questions. Always taking both perspectives in consideration. Thank you!!
I completely disagree! If my boyfriend even dares to try to change who I am based on bullshit concepts as 'masculine' and 'feminine': Here is the door, go! I am who I am, deal with it, embrace it, or piss off. I bow to no social concept, no clichee, NO MAN! I leave room for improvement, room for growth, room for adaptation. I will however never change for someone. It's not necessary, for I am and that must be enough. Leave, my advice is leave to the boyfriend..
Many people on general, both men and women, will try to change the partner they acquire to “suit” them. No one, aside from someone who engages in behaviors that could harm themselves or others, should be told they have to change who they are for people who love them. My parents almost divorced a month after marriage because my mother thought my father would give up volunteering in the community, which he had done since he was 16, for her but never communicated it and then complained about it.
Women can sometimes start off in their feminine energy, later in the relationship turn into their masculine. That happened to me in my past relationship as a way to protect myself.
It makes sense that that would happen. Unfortunately, many men abuse their leadership role which they were initially trusted with to lead the relationship to a better position, which rarely happens.
you can't get anyone to be anyway other than how they want to be. you can explain how you're feeling and what it is you're missing, what you need, but at the end of the day, how she is, is ultimately up to her. people change, relationships change, you've probably changed too. maybe what you need is to sit down and talk about where you both are now, in yourselves and with each other? Do you still have compatible wants and needs? make sure you listen at least as much as you talk. your needs are important, and so are hers. And remember to do so with empathy and understanding, for her and for yourself. Couples counselling is also an option.
Up to her to receive yes AND simultaneously, of equal weight, is how safe the MAN is in his delivery, being-ness & inner strength, solidity of identity. THEN she can & will drop her guard. Many of us do not feel safe being vulnerable because it literally was not safe growing up! So be gentle, kind, compassionate with us, and don’t defend yourself aka fight if we have issues to take up. Listen & hold space. That requires a whole nother conversation tho, cuz a man’s got to be grounded in himself and who is he first of all in order to do that. Great content Jimmy. Thanks for helping so many of us feel seen & for helping us understand each other 🫶🏽🙏🏽❤️🔥🙌🏽
As a masculine woman I hate it when people try to feminise me, like no- there isn’t anything wrong with a woman being masculine at all. This video was never about feeling masculine or feminine it was about being guarded vs feeling comfortable. I also feel threatened someone “making” me feel feminine, I cry, I talk about my feelings etc but I’m still masculine. And being independent has nothing to do with being masculine or feminine, it’s a disrespect to feminine women that they aren’t independent.
I also feel like people often get the whole dynamic of masculine versus feminine completely twisted, Like they're not even seeing it from the right angle. It's usually a difference of naivety versus maturity. Usually the traits that people see as being feminine are just more common in people that are younger and don't know better. As we get older we learn more we know more, and we do more. There's also a certain level of strength that comes with that, So it's silly to be afraid of it. It's something we all develop for the sake of surviving. But also there can be times of, mother versus lover. If I feel like everything I'm doing is an expectation, like I have to perform at a certain level to meet someone's needs, Then I basically feel like I'm having to mother them. Because of the constant pressure of those demands, it pulls me completely out of the mood of being vulnerable and free with that person. And for those of us who end up on the receiving end of these situations, we can always tell when we're being judged for it, even when it's not being explicitly said. we can tell when someone's being condescending and we really don't appreciate it, But then if we start to shut off because we're tired of dealing with it, we often get vilified for those feelings. And because we're just being constantly pushed away instead of being truly understood and accepted, It's only natural for us to grow resentful.
Perfect answer, Jimmy! You could be talking about me! I was fortunate to meet a man who must watch your videos and we are building an amazing relationship. Communication and mutual respect are definitely keys to this. It has not been easy for me, but the results are worth the work. Thank you, Jimmy 🥰
In her masculine energy? Maybe that is just her character? Let her be the way she is ? Or do you want to date a cute performer. It’s so weird when women are treated like they have no inherent character to themselves.
Mmmmm I think it's only sad if you associate a definition of femininity as inherently submissive, servile, or having a connotation of being lesser than their masculine partner. There's nothing wrong with wanting a relationship with someone for whom you have a positive view of femininity with. In the most literal sense nothing in a romantic relationship is a "need" because we don't need romantic relationships to survive.
Accept her as she is. When you say she's too much in her masculine, that tells me, you aren't in yours enough. What you see in others, you see in you. You are struggling with being masculine and you are taking it out on her. Food for thought.
@@Turai12 When masculine are too feminine, feminine then have to take on the masculinity that the masculine are failing to feel or show. It's simple biology. Masculine look after and feminine nurture, it's in the natural energy of things, but has been skewed. Nothing to do with power games or sexuality here. When 'men' fail in this aspect of a relationship, the women end up with having to be their mothers, because unfortunately, men adopt the toxic side of the feminine energy often and that equals failed relationships. If you were put in a dangerous situation, you would want your 'man' to be masculine enough to secure your safety, right? That's the core essence.
It’s not masculine energy it’s just he’s being overshadowed and can’t handle it. Believe it or not some women are just happy the way they are and don’t need men it has nothing to do with childhood, they just want a man, but don’t need them.
You can’t have it both ways under that mode of thinking because it’s a logical contradiction. This is what really saddens me is that women like this can’t have the very thing they want, a man who will love her unconditionally, because they don’t understand that a person can’t be both a man and a woman at once nor are they negotiable. You have to surrender control to let the man lead and plan the dates and invite him to approach you and freely choose to be with him otherwise as a woman your desire to dominate a man you want makes him a male slave to treat poorly less than human making him the very same thing you claim you had done to you.
@@Justyouraverageguy172 yes I can have it both ways and I do. Women can be in charge and lead sorry buddy go back to the 1950s. If my man was in charge he’d work full time and we wouldn’t have enough money for our lifestyle. I can provide that by working part time and as it is now, if he worked I’d be losing money to childcare so it’d actually cost me money to send him to work. We love our life as it is. Women with high education, or even just a high iq should be in charge. It just makes sense. Just because you’re a man doesn’t automatically make you a leader 😂 that’s absolutely ridiculous. I’m not a man because I have “masculine energy” that’s not even a thing. What does that even mean? And I’m not going to watch my kids with zero help and do all the housework and be poor just because I think my man should lead. He doesn’t want to leave the house anyway. I don’t either that’s why I only work two days a week. And how will he plan a date? We live in a forest. Are we supposed to drive two hours? We don’t need him to be planning dates I have to pay for. And I don’t need to change and I’m not like this because I don’t feel safe. I was just born with a brain and I happen to be attracted to a man for looks and kindness over brains. It’s not a slight against him. He’s perfect the way he is and so am I. Quit trying to put people in boxes. Just because you’re a man doesn’t make you special. I’m sure if you had a wife she’d tell you that.
I've been told I have more masculine energy my entire life. I don't know how to be any different. I also feel like I'm still very feminine so these concepts are always too abstract and weird for me.
#1) Say what you mean. Quit using cutsie sayings, and come out with it. What EXACTLY do you mean when you say 'male energy'? #2) She is who she is. If you don't like her 'male energy' (whatever that's supposed to mean), break it off now and find someone more suited to you.
I'm kinda icked out by this question, which is essentially: how do I get my gf/wife to change to MY idea of how women should act. I think Jimmy is giving this guy way too much credit bc anyone even using the term "masculine energy" is sus. I'm so sick of this pointlessly gendered behavior shaming of "feminine" and "masculine" energy, esp bc it usually comes from people who lean red pill (read: rigid gender roles where the man is "dominant" and "powerful" yet can't have emotions, while the woman is docile, demure, deferential and nurturing). Burn that shit down! ✊️ It suffocates both women and men, but women get the worse end of the stick. And the idea that women who are independent are damaged in some way is insulting, as opposed to recognizing that independent women are just responsible adults. Well, I'm wholly in my femini e energy and this woman is powerful enough to light up a city and independent enough to explore the world. If someone has a problem with that they aren't in my league. Don't step up if you can't keep up. If that threatens you, you need to do some introspection on why an equal partner makes you uncomfortable.
Your videos could be exactly what's need to bridge the chasm between men and women that has kept them from truly understanding, appreciating and respecting each other since, well, the beginning of patriarchal culture. Women NEVER feel safe around men initially. Men don't realize that and if they do, they exploit it to their advantage. Men, no matter how nice they behave, are seen by women as a threat and it's only the drive to procreate that forces women to let down their guard enough to get involved with men. If women didn't have the need to bear children, I think we'd do just fine simply being acquaintances with men in a professional way. Women's physical and emotional vulnerability puts us at extreme risk from predators and men are completely oblivious to that daily reality for women.
I dont really agree because I'm pretty masc and it's not to protect myself, it's just because that is who I am. I've been this way since I was a kid, I was always running around and wrestling with boys, super athletic, don't like to wear super feminine clothing, etc. I don't think it's right to jump to conclusions abt masc behavior but I definitely see this being a potential reason for masc behavior.
Very well explained! 👏🏻♥️ What's wrong if she is guarded and independent? If she is smart, kind, reasonable and compassionate then I think she is far better than most of them out there. Either accept her as she is or go and find someone who satisfies your idea of "feminine".
Jimmy you explain things so well every time, I sit here listening and think 'yeah' he's hit the nail on the head yet again. Thank you I am so pleased I found you and your channel. Cheers Obelia From Australia 🦘
If I was granted a few of my wishes to be fulfilled, it's very likely that one would be me wising that all men could hear Jimmy talk for an hour every day. In a world of messed-up guys believing that the patriarchy oppressing the vast majority of humans knows how to fulfill their needs, while devaluing the feminine half of humanity as well as their own human emotions, I'm so grateful every time I hear a dissenting voice seeming to understand that the inequality of partnerships is the real culprit behind the distress we're all feeling. Bless you, Jimmy. May all the days of your life from now onward be happy ones.
Oh, Jimmy. Your understanding of women is incredible. Thank you. Again. For doing such great work on this chanel. You are such a precious gift to the world.
“Masculine” to me would mean handlebar mustaches, grizzly bear chest hair, peeing standing up and being able to aim it in any direction you want, and having an Adam’s apple🤔🤷🏽♀️or something pretty similar. If she doesn’t have all those things, in my opinion, she’s not masculine. If she’s got her own bank account and job and she likes it that way, I’d say she’s just independent and self-reliant. If having those qualities isn’t directly causing someone else to be starving, bleeding, suffocating, having broken bones, or dying, I’d say they’re good qualities.
Given the origin of these terms, how they came about, and why, I would compare it to telling a Black person that you like their 'Black' energy and describing those traits as good at picking cotton, physical strength and endurance perfect for dirty and exhausting work in plantations, docility, obedience, and utility. Conversely, 'white' energy would entail a powerful and in-control demeanor over black communities and resources, coupled with authority, resourcefulness, and leadership. Just as traits associated with masculinity and femininity were constructed to uphold gender roles and power dynamics, the concepts of 'black' and 'white' energy would be similarly shaped to reinforce racial hierarchies. In both cases, certain traits are valorized while others are marginalized, serving to maintain oppressive structures and uphold the status quo.
I wonder if people would say the same thing: "Let the man lead you, be submissive." "Let white people in your life lead you, submit to their authority, let them decide for you." Or "My black friend has white energy, how to bring him back?"
@@carissima_illuminatioI’m black and have been told I act white by other black people. And it’s a wrong thing to do. It’s about conforming to a social construct about what black people can and cannot do. The people who say that kind of stuff are so ignorant because they are revealing the fact that they think black people can only be a certain way.
My gf loves how masculine I am 😂. I mean LOVES IT💖. N that’s who I’ve been, since I was a kid. Grew up a tomboy. Find someone who accepts and not only accepts but is INTO YOU for who YOU ARE! Don’t change for anybody!!!
I'm crying watching this video, this is true. We act like all those things because we are trigerred. Thank you for your video, it helped me so much who i am and it's ok.
It's about lead. Sharing an equal amount of (even if different types of) responsibilities, having emotional maturity, connectivity and overall being a healthy human mentally and physically is essential to a relationship. Stuff like humility, empathy, trust, respect, etc. Those all should be given constants when considering polarities. It's about leadership in the relationship. Not controlling or demanding something as a man, but taking initiative and taking the responsiblity of growth in intimacy. Of course, she has to put in effort into the relationship too, but its the man's job to take the initiative. To take her out on a date when you've been too focused on work. Or, to start the conversation with healthy communication after a fight. And it's not like she can't initiate, no - because both need to put in the effort. But it's generally the man's duty to lead the ship (the relationship) to a better place. And you can picture this just like a team. Because it is a team. A team where there's a leader. And it is a cooperative game of course. The leader makes the final decision, but doesn't do so without listening to all the team members. Same concept here. Because you usually won't see an effective team with all members having equal levels of power - rather, there's the effective leader that makes the decision. That's only natural. Many women are simply terrified of letting a man lead because they fear it may result in the man abusing his position as the leader of the relationship, and interpreting this role as a position of power to exploit and take advantage of. And rightfully so - many men don't listen to their woman when making a decision. They say "hey, we'll move to this country with our kids," without any say of the woman in the matter. But that's not how it works, and not how it should work. The truth is most women fear letting the man lead because they simply *can't* trust him with that position, but would love it if they *could.* Truthfully, many men think being "the man of the relationship" means being a king with no responsibilities - a hedonist. It doesn't mean that women don't have their own flaws in this matter (one, for example, can be having too high expectations from a man, expecting the man to work so hard for their love, in one way or another, while not receiving much back), but this is to address the problems that men bring which cause so many women to fiercely guard their independence (again, that doesn't conversely mean that the woman of the relationship must become a slave - she has the autonomy level of any human, which should be granted to her as a human, just like to the man - this simply regards relationship dynamics). Polarities are beautiful and can make relationship thrive if done correctly, but so many don't understand how it is done, and, in such a way, destroy their relationship. I'd recommend reading The Way of The Superior Man for more of this.
This masculine feminine energy bs that got popular online all of a sudden has mostly just looked like repackaging old gender roles and expectations with a shiny, new age-y label to me. It's kinda gross imo. That said, this is one of the better takes I have seen in regards to it. (No surprise voming from this channel)
My man asked me why I was so aggressive when I was mad that he looked at other women in their bathinsuits. Like I'm not allowed to be upset or something is wrong with me. :)
Haha, to the men reading this recognizing the pattern: demanding her to be stoic and "not giving a damn" about your watching other female bodies half-naked (or fully naked) - *that* would really be asking her "to be in her masculine". You don't mind your own intense watching the beauties, because you are a man. But imagine her with a smile cooking your favourite meals and serving them with her most adorable charm to an other man, but not to you, right in front of you - do you get it then? Conclusion: reserve your intense attention only to the one whose love and sexual attention you want to be exclusively for you. Don't turn her off, or you are just stupid (sorry to be blunt, but most women are too delicate when they tell you this, and you've got wax in your ears!).
Did you break his glasses or whatever he was looking with? If not, this sounds like feminine energy, a type of aggression based on gossip, shame, reputation (GSR), i.e., posting to show someone in a negative light. Did he agree not to look at them? If so, you would be upset because of lack of respect, masculine energy. On the other hand, if you are upset because his energy is spent on someone besides you, that is feminine energy.
He doesn't respect you and you know it, and instead of respecting yourself going into another relationship, you try to change him into respecting you, and your expectation annoys him. You are upset with something legitimate, but expecting respect where there is none.
…And some women simply are more aggressive by nature. Meekness or gentleness or being submissive are very often trained traits and not a question of temperament. As long as women who can kick ass are considered unfeminine (and therefore less desirable or even undesirable) and as long as men who are gentle and submissive are considered unmanly, we will most probably be stuck on stereotypes. And being stuck in stereotypes costs sooooo much energy, because you have to try to adjust and to control and to shape yourself to the expectations of the people around you. Wouldn’t it be fun to be okay just the way you are as long as you let the others be okay just the way they are? Ah, well.
my theory is guy who sent the message wants his female partner to be relient on him. for him to be the "alpha" the one who takes care of everything. which is a terrible mindset . sometimes thing can be that they are guarded, but other times it can be confidence. they are capable of taking care of themselves . why do certain things/actions have to be masculine or feminine ? makes no sense to me.
Thanks. Being on guard and having a defence is needed in this world and it's very unfortunate when people say you should just trust or this and that. We're not living in a fantasy world. The men wjo complain about a less tender wife are often the ones that have neglected and let her down, but may be ignorant about it. So it may not even belong to the past, but be part of the present 🙂
I've never seen this channel before, but TH-cam recommended it. I was expecting some dudebro alpha male nonsense. This was pleasantly surprising and sound advice. Thank you
I as a female sometimes feel I’m too dominant ( male energetikai) with my husband and honestly it gives us a dynamic that leads him being less dominant ( female energy) and then it turns me off sexually. So I needed to understand this and let myself be more feminine. But you are right, I didnt get to be vulnerable as a child. This is the reason. I had to know myself better. Thank you for the video @JimmyonRelationships 😊
As soon as he takes responsibility for himself and steps up in HIS masculine energy and holds space for her she is more likely to be able to relax in her feminine energy....
Its a just good opportunity to explore this. 😊 There is way more than science on this planet and it has to do with energy, frequency, intention. You can't measure it. But each wonderful soul can do it their own way 🤷✨
Don’t get hung up on the word. I don’t think “energy” is referring to to the intangible or ethereal. I think in this instance it’s referring to how we operate. To boil it down to its most basic meaning I think it’s about taking initiative & “being in charge.” The reality is men and women at different times for different reasons do and don’t want to be the one taking initiative/getting crap done. We need to be TALKING about our needs/desires/likes/dislikes with one another. It’s what couples are always doing…..finding the most optimal way to be their best for each other and to sort out the best way they work together in the relationship.
Ooooooooh! So good 😊. Just subscribed! Thank you Jimmy 🙏. My husband and I have fully embraced the masc/fem thing and it’s saved our marriage. My understanding is that because I was born a female and have fem hormones then I will need to operate in “mostly” feminine energy ❤
It means you count only on yourself with family as backup because of their proven track record so your ars is never out there BUT really get excited when a man wants you so much he offers his all and you see it.
I have never felt more understood within a few seconds on this topic. However, I also am naturally this way, I’ve always been, despite my past experiences. The issue with some men is that it’s also based on sexism and some men feeling like their masculinity is somehow threatened, in my experience. If I had a dime for the number of times men sent me messages or said they didn’t want to date me because I had my life together due to a business and career I created that I love, I would be rich. In some cases, people need to put their egos to the side. (Again I am saying this is just some men, not everyone! Don’t come at me!) 😅
Thank you, Jimmy. I couldn't agree more. I'm single today for those very reasons.. why do some men want to change some women. Why can't they just accept us as we are????
Everyone has a mix of “feminine” and “masculine” energy. There’s nothing wrong with living in both, however far on the spectrum someone is. Variety is nice, and it’s comforting to know that someone isn’t compact into one. Both people should naturally balance with one another if they’re compatible and love each other.
the question should also be is she really in her masculine all the time and what if you didnt notice that part of her until u got closer to her.. why is always about how she can convenience u when her male counterpart more often than not has issues w introspection & sensitive receptivity bc shame. its a two way street. she can potentially shame him but people polarize each other, it happens
a woman with some masculine is always seen as intimidating but how would you know its a trauma response unless you are actually attentive to how her mind works? her femininity could still very well be intact, simply reserved for diff situations and quiet.
I work with power tools and under the hood of a car. Men have told me that's masculine. Only one asked me why I know how to do this stuff.....grew up with four older brothers and had a long term relationship where I had to "play man" if I wanted anything done.
Very well said Jimmy, I appreciate your balanced, fair, harmonious, articulate and eloquent expressions. Granted, regarding masculine and feminine energies, I invite you to further explore, IF the idea 💡 FEELS light 🪶to you. Various fields of science has been merging with spirituality, and though there are different labels, ultimately, they’re all saying that everything’s made of the same, interconnected Cosmic Energy. And since we exist within a physical world-that contains the package deal of OPPOSITES/CONTRASTS/DUALITY/POLARITY-all the energies are basically divided into two (like 1 as in Unity Consciousness splitting into 2, separation consciousness, in order to MIRROR each other as a RELATIONSHIP). Otherwise, THE ONE 1 would never KNOW-via experiential knowledge/Living Wisdom-what it’s like to Be Self and Other, though conceptually understood. So therefore there are feminine and masculine energies that help us to better understand our WHOLE essence. Though I don’t resonate with everything that Teal Swan shares, she did do a great job of teaching how women will become more feminine (their nature) when they feel SAFE (like Jimmy shared). I know, because I was in the Army, and was more masculine energetically than feminine; plus, there’s the male-dominated military-within an already patriarchal world-that also heavily conditions everyone to be more left brain 🧠 centered, rather than a balance of both. In addition, throughout most of my life, I’ve been more masculine in my energies-even a tomboy who was the only girl on my baseball team (though before 5 yo, I was more feminine, like wanting to wear pink but not dark blue). I’m also more masculine around passive men, as if to imply, “Step aside, I’ll take it from here”😄 (or even around women, children, elderly, animals, insects, bugs, trees, plants, etc. who seem like they could use assertive and protective energies). I intend to increasingly Be a harmonious 🎶, ebb and flow 🪩 Cosmic Dance 💃🏻🕺 of BOTH, as I further master energies within. I trust that as we further open our minds (with discernment, to avoid being gullible)-and further open our hearts (with healthy boundaries, to avoid being a doormat)-the more we will be able to utilize many energetic tools available to us, to include a deeper understanding of our energetic, core essence.
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Women will never let down and be soft if a man isn't safe
th-cam.com/users/shortscaQKt7gN7WE?si=D31_dfVr3Rbh1h_O
SAY IT AGAIN for those in the back 📢📢📢👏👏👏
Exactly, that was my first thought.
Oh man, this is so true..🥺
I think the word "soft" puts feminine energy in a negative light. Instead, I would call it "sociable".
It's not masculine vs feminine "energy", it's behaviours. Guarded behaviour vs comfortable behaviour. Guys mellow down when they are comfortable too.
True
Exactly. And I'm glad he started off the video by saying he doesn't normally buy into all that mess.
Instead, he answered using his assumption of what the guy was talking about. That's one of the things I love about Jimmy.
Thank you! Someone not swayed and convinced into some absurd/lgnorant GenderDichotomy.
Exactly and people in the comments are still taking at face value that a "feminine energy" exists at all, it's embarassing as HELL considering the only people who buy into this are grown adults.
I think it just refers to traditional feminine and masculine behaviours, which isn't necessarily limited to only one gender considering current time and age.
Guys can mellow down when they are comfortable too. Guys can be feminine when they are comfortable too. Ykwim?
A CRUCIAL part of making it safe for women to be in their “feminine energy” is also to promptly keep one’s promises (ie. do chores without needing to be reminded) and make sure she isn’t responsible for all the planning/organization! Women can’t relax if they are carrying the majority of the mental load!!!
💯💯💯
This is true. You’ll recall that she was more into her feminine while initially dating, because that’s when he’d be showing more masculine effort, plus she didn’t have all the household labor on her shoulders yet.
or maybe he is just waiting for "his woman" /partner too do it and is in the mindset of thats womens work.
You commented exactly what was on my mind! This is so true for me...
“Women’s work”? “All the household labor on her shoulders yet”? What the what? You mean no house keeper? That is considered abusive in Orange County.
How’s about don’t try to make her something she isn’t? My husband and I butted heads in the infancy of our marriage because he was constantly expecting me to be “other”. Instead of liking me flaws and all, he saw me as a block of marble that he needed to cut chunks off of to suit his vision, rather than just appreciating that I could be used as is, and had value as is. Finally, one day when he complained I was “too independent”, I snapped back and said that these were all the things you claimed to love about me and now you want it to change. Then I asked him during which period was he lying. Don’t make her feel like she needs to learn to be comfortable without you.
To be honest, if I had a husband and he told me I should be "more feminine", that's instant divorce. I would never, ever tolerate such bullshit. You have two options, embrace me like I am flaws and all, or fuck off. If you feel comfortable sharing, (if you don't, I'm sorry in advance) what did your husband do when you told him that? That those were the things he claimed to love and now he's trying to change you?
@@LesleyMcgonagall ....and that's why communication is important; not a good idea to just jump to divorce or breaking up over things that can be discussed and worked on. People these days give up too easily on each other.
Wheewww that whole last sentence tho! 🔥🔥🔥
I'm with you, @karlaa5977 . Totally on point. I had never thought of it like that...good to have other perspectives for other ways of looking at things.
poor man stuck with such a cancer
Let's aspire to all be a safe place where our partner can feel accepted, loved, and inspired to be whoever their authentic self is. =)
@JimmyonRelationships beyond grateful for you and this video!
Energy is energy. No need to label anything masculine or feminine.
Thanks again! 💓
This is Spot On Jimmy!! Thank you for the reminder.❤❤
Amen!
@@mylink.orb17 Exactly
My husband loves my more “masculine” attributes (particularly ambition) alongside the feminine. I’m just real around him and he is with me, too. He’s in tune with his feelings which people would see as feminine. We really just compliment each other well 💕
Independence is not pathology in either gender.
That's a great way to put it.
To me it sounds like the man is insecure in his masculinity and in himself. Like he has to "compete" against her and he feels like he is about to loose.
like he needs to be the alpha or something.
@@nickorange4881Now if alphas were an actual thing :p
@@nickorange4881well being a man, he feels like HE should be the dominant, that HE should be in charge. He still is, but he needs to just love her as she is.
@@victoriataylor5584 maybe he shouldn't be in charge?
He could also feel the need to compete for a role if there is someone else also trying to performe it. His reading can be wrong, but he also could be dealing with a girl that wants the type of indepence that makes no sense in a love relationship. It's a partnership. Does she seek him for some sort of support? What type? What is his space for contribuiting and what role she expects him to fulfill? Men are prone to feel good and strong when they can be protectors (testosterone). It doesn't take an "alpha-boy" to like it.
Being confident, a leader, rational and strong … those are attributes in a woman that will usually make men feel insecure. Being aloof, independent, self sufficient, and emotionally closed off … also attributes making men feel insecure. But not all of these attributes are symptoms of negative aspects of a person’s relational being. Some men feel like they also need to personify these attributes in order to be men. What’s the deal? Can’t we just be strong and confident without being “masculine”? Any of us?
Exactly.
I have to disagree with this take. I’m a woman who would be classified as in her ”masculine” energy all the time. And it’s because I was loved, encouraged and accepted growing up. I grew up with no real influence of gender roles and was never discouraged from feeling or doing something because I was a girl.
I’m independent because being dependent on someone isn’t logical. I’m stoic because I know you can’t control what other people do, only your own reaction. And I am solution driven because the faster I can solve problems the sooner I can get back to having fun.
Your advice to the question should have been do nothing. If she’s happy and healthy being in her “masculine” energy, leave her alone and find someone else who fits what you want in a woman.
Exactly my point. Like- am I the only one who feels threatened when they try to “make” me feel feminine? Cuz crying and smiling, having good communication has nothing to do with being masc or fem
This
Exactly. I hit upon that elsewhere, that independence is not a sign of emotional damage. It's just a sign that we value ourselves. And ANY person asking how to "change" their partner needs to leave and find a new partner. You explained all this very well
The problem is that we don't know what OP actually means when he says "masculine energy" but apart from that, I do agree with you. Jimmy definitely has a point too, especially when considering this is about an intimate relationship where it should be normal for all parties involved to feel vulnerable- or feminine, as one would put it.
I also feel this way. I grew up idolizing older brothers and the teachers at my martial arts school along with my parents expecting us all to pitch in on every chore, so I'm quite masculine. My boyfriend was raised in a city so in a lot of ways I know the "masculine skills" better than him (although I'd say he's more masculine than me in total). I'm very solution-oriented and the women I've known actually seemed to like it because I would listen, then help them solve the problem. Even when they didn't want my help, they'd often later say "it gave me something to think about" or "I should've done that" or "I should've at least done something". I think these behaviors are useful and should be encouraged in everyone. There's nothing wrong with wanting comfort especially about something you can't just solve, but we should teach everyone to be clear about if they're asking for comfort or a solution, and everyone should know how to come up with solutions themselves.
I'm also autistic which I suppose has some effect, since the drive to optimize is so high for me. Everything should be systematic so I can do it as efficiently as possible, and people sometimes see cutting the waste as "unfeminine lack of attention to detail" or "masculine ruthlessness" when it's just because I want to take care of my basic needs with minimal time and effort so I can, as you said, go back to enjoying life. It doesn't really seem that odd to me. I enjoy some feminine things and feelings but if someone tried to make me "open up and be more feminine" they'd probably be wrecking my efficiency for nothing. Femininity is associated with unnecessary acts and while people can argue all day about what it really is, as long as that association is the norm, I have little use for femininity.
This is the healthiest response I’ve ever heard
I've never heard of this term 'feminine/masculine energy,' but it sounds like bunk. I am a woman. My energy is what it is.
It's bunk. Pure, sexist nonsense.
Read "Jung and Gender: Masculine and Feminine Revisited" by Gary Toub, online.
Yep. Absolute gibberish, clung to by peopIe who benefit from beIieveing themselves better.
It sounds like you are describing me! I am a lot more apt to be guarded because of how I was treated in my family of origin. I was the scapegoat; nothing I did was right or good enough.
Thankfully, I have been working on myself the past few years. At 60, I finally came to love myself. I will be 62 next month and am awaiting my perfect mate. I'm happy that I have not settled for less than I deserve! ❤
I used to be almost absolutely silent as a child. I showed no reaction at all and eventually got told by the therapist when I wondered why people would see me completely differently from person to person, that I let them tell my story however they wanted to by being so isolated.
Oh gosh, hello sister! Another scapegoat here. I am so happy for you🌷
Our love for ourselves is the most important relationship of all, that's where it all begins.
I wish you everything ❤
Hello 👋 Linda how are you doing today??
lol wait for another 60 years, any time now
Why is he in relationship with someone with characteristics he dislikes? Hope she figured out his true intention to wanting to change her nature and dumped him.
He wants to change her to fit his ideal of the perfect woman.
YES!!! EXACTLY!?!
Sometimes women give off feminine energy during the courting phase (a mask) to attract men, then when they get comfortable they take the mask off. This creates a masculine-masculine dynamic that doesn’t work. Sometimes this comes from a woman seeing her parents’ dynamic and seeing a leading matriarch or being abused and needing to guard herself. The guy here may want her, but not in a masculine space. Wanting a woman to be open and happy instead of closed and guarded isn’t a bad thing
@@donharris8846 This guy gets it
Thank you for this! I think people would consider me to act in my “masculinity” but you summed it up perfectly. It’s all as a result of the things I’ve been through, not feeling accepted, loved, respected or protected. However, when I let my guard down with people that I can be myself with and show me kindness. Sorry to say, but if a guy is asking this question then the girl is not in the right relationship. Sometimes us independent girls just need extra love and kindness to drop our guard. Sometimes we are who we are out of circumstance and not by choice. Thank you😢🙂
Come to Jesus. He is far more wise and loving than any man could ever be because Jesus IS a man AND God at same time to this day. Jesus promises to embrace all those like yourself who have been through so much and love them deeply and intimately more than anyone in the world can. Jesus won’t tolerate bad behaviors and beliefs that poison your heart keeping out love for Him, from Him, and others either because he will gently hold you and heal you if you want him to. God is Love and he won’t force himself on you be because it goes against the free willingness to give and receive Love both from him and others.
Extra love and kindness to us independent girls- Yes please!
@@Justyouraverageguy172 I am a Christian but there’s also practical examples on how to love a person. Love languages were not created by Jesus, but it’s a thing.
@@debbienyarkoBut the Love of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit is how a husband is supposed to love his wife and others specifically talked about in Ephesians 5.
To therefore deny the differences of male and female and the different but equally important roles of husband and wife is to disobey God’s original design for marriage outlined in Ephesians 5 and by Jesus choosing our own idea of marriage by rejecting Scriptures like feminism teaches women to do worshiping the curse of women dominating men and their husband with their independence in Genesis 3. The husband is required to be the leader, provider, and protector like the Father and intercede on behalf of the family to God as the Son does for us submitting to God’s leading and guiding the family keeping them in the Truth of God like the Spirit does.
The man is supposed to love his wife like God loves us and the wife is to love her husband as we are to love God as in submission to the husband and God choosing to do so instead of pride and independence.
@@Justyouraverageguy172 My guy, JesusDied got everyone and yet we're still bIaming allWomn for Eve.
It's not freeWill of you have to bepunished for God'ss failures.
Thank you for not believing in these feminine or masculine type of things!! I was ready to square up 😭
They're not different than ying and yang or hot and cold. The concepts are useful IF they are applied correctly and the correct application is, that all people have all aspects and in best case balance all 3 (feminine, masculine, non-binary) in a way that works for them. Or call it "receptive, giving, neutral" or "inwards protective, outwards protective, neutral"
It was split by genders cause that's how these principles were observed in societies that stuck to gender roles more. More precisely, scholars with the leasure to study were most likely found in upper classes where these systems were particularly stiff. 😂
The observations of the principles are good, but we've come a long way and gotta replace the gendered terminology around it, cause that's the part that was never a solid rule to start with and when it was made one, it did more damage than good.
The concept is still useful to learn about all aspects within ourselves and how they click or clash with others.
@@KxNOxUTA They aren't useful at all. PeopIe are geared both toward faIse dichotomyy and negativeBiases. Blend the two and we have an absolute disastrous recipe.
I cannot express how grateful I am to have found your channel. I may never in my life find a man this emotionally intelligent. But, this still gives me hope in miracles.
Raise your bar, he just said women who have masculine traits are broken from childhood. F that
Could always just find a girlfriend 🤷🏻♀️easier life in general.
@@Turai12 well, yeah, that is an option. But not everyone is attracted to other women. And tbh, that's a shame. I'd love to be lesbian lol.
@@sparkles999rose2 In my experience that would be true. But, I absolutely agree it should be mandatory to raise the bar. Every time I tried I seemed to fail in different ways, and have stopped trying lol.
@@Turai12 I have pondered that option in years past. In some ways I think it would be a ton easier… but, I also pondered the thought that there would be two hormonal women in the house. I’ve had female (and one gay male) roommates in the past and they made my life miserable lol I can only imagine how much harder it would be with romantic involvement in the mix 🤣
Either accept her as she is, or go find someone who “fits” with your idea of “feminine”. 🙄
Stupid logic, if indeed she has flaws amd you love her then its demanded that you try to better her but in a constructive not destructive way.
If indeed its not something bad that she has then yes accept her as she is.
Exactly! Why date women who aren't the kind of "feminine" they're looking for and then complain about her being not what she ever was!!?
Nobody buys a car and complains that it doesn't water the plants.
@@Christs_Apologet no
No
Absolutely not
Never
@@Christs_Apologet how the bloody hell is being masculine a flaw?
Sounds like the man ought to better himself instead.
@@Turai12 seems you read the first few words and stopped.
I was speaking in a general sense, as again I and you and we in general dont have the characteristics that made this guy believe she was "masculine" be them bad or good, Which is why I spoke in general terms.
This “masculine/feminine” energy seems like a covert/indirect way of saying “behaving according to gender norms I was acculturated to expect the opposite sex should stick to”.
Actually that is exactly what it is. If a women has a food career and made 6 figures happily, she is giving off masculine energy. If a man washes the dishes and cooks dinner, he is giving off feminine energy.
A women in jeans and a flannel is being masculine. A women who can change and does change her tire is in her masculine energy. Basically, if a women does anything that isn't traditional women things, masculine.
It is a bunch of BS.
Seems that way.
So, sexism.
No that’s not what he meant, feminine energy is a real thing and amazing for woman to be in.. but what he says in the video is true.. I’m too much in my masculine energy also because of the same reasons he said above.. I want to be in my feminine energy so that I can relax more, and sit back and let him do the effort but you need to feel safe to do so..😅
Agreed: what is this but another method of control?
@@Essje2 then how would you define feminine and masculine energie? I thought about it, and all I could thought of, was stereotypical or sexist stuff.
You wrote, that you want to relax and lay back more and let him do the stuff. Like he is the one in charge? Like he is the man in the house? That sounds just really stereotypical and not biological at all.
I'm a masculine woman. When I'm insecure or don't know anyone I'll act in a more meek and traditionally feminine way. However when I'm happy and confident I'll act in a more masculine way; taking charge of my life, motivating my significant other to do the same, protecting them and caring for them, becoming more direct and brave, welcoming challenges, etc. I don't like that that's considered "masculine", I think it's just how a normal human being acts when they know who they are and are confident about it. I'm naturally stoic not because I'm hiding my emotions but rather because that's just the way I am.
Stereotypically masculine women are probably my favourite kind of gal. Great fun to be with.
This actually made my day😄. The media isn't very kind to us!
Well said stoic is the way I describe me. Masculine has been miss used like so many other things.
Masculine energy for a woman is when she is in survival mode, she has to be tough. If you’re the reason she’s in survival mode, bc she can’t depend on you and doesn’t feel loved or heard or seen by you, you’ve given her no choice but to have masculine energy bc you aren’t embodying masculine energy yourself. When you protect and provide and give her what she needs to thrive then she will be in her feminine receiving energy, she will know that you’ve got the masculine covered. These are subconscious things, and masculine and feminine will naturally balance when they are functioning in their roles as they were meant to. Women will bloom and thrive when they are safe and loved and treated well, and they feel safe to be feminine, and she gives back ten fold what she is given to her.
That’s why men who treat their mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters well are rich men in some way or another, bc they bless themselves by blessing the women in their life. It’s in women’s nature to care for those they love, reciprocity is on a heart level in this regard.
For an example, my partner treats me like an indentured servant bc he knows I have no other options as a stay at home mom, and that keeping my family together is of the utmost importance to me. He treats me very badly and wonders why I’m not fun to be around. I’m plenty fun. Not going to be fun for a tyrant. Not going to go out of my way for an overlord. Not going to ask him how his day was just so he’ll have an excuse to hear himself talk…when he makes sure I can’t leave the house.
If a man is asking this question, I wonder his motives. I wonder if he loves her at all.
Femininity isn’t just being something shiny to look at.
It's worrisome that the guy who wrote the letter seems to care more about her femininity rather than her mental and emotional health. Feminine energy sounds like something that exists for the guy. If he were asking how he could connect with her more deeply or find out if she's okay, that would have been better.
"These are subconscious things, and masculine and feminine will naturally balance when they are functioning in their roles as they were meant to. Women will bloom and thrive when they are safe and loved and treated well, and they feel safe to be feminine, and she gives back ten fold what she is given to her."
We have to remember is easy for women used to be the man to not know to be protected and let go of the armor even when she is with the guy that does everything right. To trust the man and relax can be a difficult proccess.
No! Women can be “masculine” without trauma!!! That’s insane you think that way. Women are allowed to be independent and strong without being judged as broken. What kind of bs is this. Is this 1950?
And women don’t need to be given anything to make its value ten fold. That’s an ancient idea. Women can earn way more money than a man. Men actually do a worse job as providers in today’s world. No one wants to even hire men anymore. I know you won’t listen, but you need to plan your escape. It’s insane how messed up your head is. And try not listening to this idiot. And when you’re finally independent don’t just go date another guy. Some people can’t judge character and you’re one of them. Stay single forever.
@@dsoul1305we don't need or want to be protected.
My entire marriage I was the one who had to worry about the chores, the yardwork, landscaping, dog grooming/care, cleaning the garage, making sure that the tortoise habitat would be suitable, painting the house, keeping the autos clean, and more. I was in constant "preserving my life" mode. My husband grocery shopped, cooked (not clean up afterwards), and took the autos in for oil changes. He thought that was fine because he did not mind a slovenly house and yard. My opinion was that if he was going to deprive me of a husband then I was going to deprive him of a wife. Prior to that decision I had many, many conversations about the imbalance and he said that he doesn't care. I made sure to have opposite work hours/days off from him, I moved into the guest room, and prepared financially for leaving him. I finally did after 11 years.
I am always going to be sn independent lil cuss. If you prove to me you're worth it, I will be your partner, but i will never be your subordinate. If you don't like my "masculine energy" the door's over there, if you just leave or let me go I'll wish you well. And yes, I'm coming up on 30 years of marriage to a man who values me as an equal.
Let's go girl! I wish there were more women like you. I don't give a shit about what you consider to be "feminine" or "masculine"😒 I do whatever the fuck I want. If a woman wants to be submissive to a man, that's perfectly fine, but men should never expect women to be like that.
Being in a feminine role has nothing to do with subordination. 🙄
Feminine is not about machismo, it's not about being submissive or weak or following the man... It's being valued for having and performing "soft power" skills and having soft qualities. Think stereotypical delicate gay men type of skills and qualities. Feminine. Not inferior. You have to desconstruct the internalized misogyny.
@@dsoul1305 Sooo you want us to accept "stereotypical delicate gay man qualities" as a valid description, buut also are encouraging us to "deconstruct internalized misogyny" 🤔🤔
@@LTeeeeeeeee To say that many Americans don't know Africa is not a country can look demeaning, but it's just an unpopular fact.
I'm not saying every gay man is delicate or gays are stereotypical or that delicate gay are always feminine in ways or that gay man qualities are those considered stereotypical or any other mean reading.
I'm stating the unpopular fact that those popularized oversimplified images of delicate gay man hold the feminine qualities that society bash on women.
If I were at the academy I'd phrase differently. The best treatment is the one that the patient can follow, not the one assigned as best by the book.
It's not supposed to be master-subordinate, it's supposed to be lead-follow, as in a dance.
when you said I don't believe in masculine and feminine crap, you bought a loyal subscriber, god forbid I hate those theories of masculine and femininity, I even had this as a red flag in a person or in a dating advice, if someone mentions this crap I am out! and You caught my attention ! Instantly...Love from India.
I think if someone brings it up this way, you need to explore what they mean without just walking away. They may have just heard some ideas somewhere and don’t realize how misguided it is. Give them a chance they may just be confused.
Big tip… when she asks for something please try to remember and get it done if you cannot or prefer not to it’s cool but say you can’t or won’t. We stay closed off because when we have tried to rely on others we are reminded why we can’t, it’s not your fault we were raised that way…
Isn't is funny that these kind of questions are just another form of control, which keeps you from having the Safety you are both seeking. Love this answer.
Thank you for doing this amazing work. Women are so criticized for not being enough. I used to feel so self-conscious because of the constant criticism, so I could never really be myself. A lot of the time, we feel like our only choice is to let men mold us in order to gain acceptance. Thank you for helping men understand there is a better way for everyone.😊
I foresee that masculine/feminine “energy” as a concept will be out the door in a few decades. It’s so diminutive to categorize socially-constructed personality traits into the gender binary. It also doesn’t have to take trauma to have a biological female develop a sense of independence, assertion, or stoicism - these can all develop through parenting styles or cultural norms. On the flip side, men *could* be taught to be more emotionally open very easily.
Maybe. These energies exist in poly, hetero and homosexual relationships though.
Masculine / Feminine resides in all of us no matter the gender. The yin and yang. It's not a concept, rather it is innate within us all, from birth!
I hope so, it almost makes me mad sometimes on just how simplistic these terms are, and how people that use them generally see things.
But in the side of it being easy to teach men to be more open emotionally, i have to disagree.
It is build in so strongly, and it is such a defense mechanism for them to use (my personal experience from my friends, family and parent figures here from Brazil) this persona that don't care about feelings and solves anything by imposing or threatening violence, that breaking that would break their ego, just like on processing strong emotions like trauma.
If you were to chance the culture to teach men to be emotionally vulnerable since their youth (which is what they would normally do if not taugh otherwise), then yeah, but i would say that applies to most things, its magnitudes easier to teach a good method since the beginning instead of needing to rebuild someone with all of the consequences of their mistakes on top of it.
Maybe our culture is more traditionalist, but i see the same heavy, suffering-full past on the men and the woman that closes themselves overtime...
Idk what these other nay-sayers be spouting in the replies to this comment but uhhhhh
Even though I agree wholeheartedly, I also appreciate you sharing stance with the rest of the maybe (or at least, as we see in the replies here) not so likeminded audience members
@@firewolf9493If they can't be more open and vulnerable emotionally then they really shouldn't expect a partner.
Why should we women bother dating people who aren't mature enough to be vulnerable?
This was such a beautiful moving answer, Jimmy. I am truly in awe of your empathy and awareness. Truly, deeply, THANK YOU.
Yes, exactly! Such wisdom and warmth.
Oof, the question is _so_ creepy.
Nope. She is being bad ass… he doesn’t want that. She has a brain in her head and he doesn’t want her to use it. He wants her to be subservient.
This is so 1000% accurate that it brought me to tears!😢
your girlfriend has too much masculine energy? i’ll date her. 😏
Yes bro. I honestly find it very attractive when a woman is independent and smart.
Best comment, hands down, 10/10, would read and giggle at again :)
@@mymuna4689ah, because a feminine woman is dumb and dependent. Got it. How's the Incel life, bro?
@@andrearace1168seems like they're anything but a incel from their post?
Incels wants weak, submissive women who won't talk back or see their own value.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💞💞💞💞💞
We should never expect our partners to change. However, needs and feelings on both ends are completely valid. The most we can do is to communicate about it openly and honestly.
I appreciate so much you highlighting the complexity in the situations when answering these questions. Always taking both perspectives in consideration. Thank you!!
I completely disagree! If my boyfriend even dares to try to change who I am based on bullshit concepts as 'masculine' and 'feminine': Here is the door, go!
I am who I am, deal with it, embrace it, or piss off. I bow to no social concept, no clichee, NO MAN! I leave room for improvement, room for growth, room for adaptation. I will however never change for someone. It's not necessary, for I am and that must be enough.
Leave, my advice is leave to the boyfriend..
Dating other women is so much easier for a woman.
That way I don't have to deal with men's insecurities.
Who are you disagreeing with?
@@mylink.orb17That a more masculine woman shouldn't have to be more feminine because her partner is insecure.
Many people on general, both men and women, will try to change the partner they acquire to “suit” them. No one, aside from someone who engages in behaviors that could harm themselves or others, should be told they have to change who they are for people who love them. My parents almost divorced a month after marriage because my mother thought my father would give up volunteering in the community, which he had done since he was 16, for her but never communicated it and then complained about it.
I’m with you, it has nothing to do with childhood. Women are allowed to be who we are.
Women can sometimes start off in their feminine energy, later in the relationship turn into their masculine. That happened to me in my past relationship as a way to protect myself.
Yesss!!!
Can you describe what your partner was doing that made you turn into masculine energy?
It makes sense that that would happen. Unfortunately, many men abuse their leadership role which they were initially trusted with to lead the relationship to a better position, which rarely happens.
you can't get anyone to be anyway other than how they want to be. you can explain how you're feeling and what it is you're missing, what you need, but at the end of the day, how she is, is ultimately up to her. people change, relationships change, you've probably changed too. maybe what you need is to sit down and talk about where you both are now, in yourselves and with each other? Do you still have compatible wants and needs? make sure you listen at least as much as you talk. your needs are important, and so are hers. And remember to do so with empathy and understanding, for her and for yourself. Couples counselling is also an option.
Up to her to receive yes AND simultaneously, of equal weight, is how safe the MAN is in his delivery, being-ness & inner strength, solidity of identity. THEN she can & will drop her guard. Many of us do not feel safe being vulnerable because it literally was not safe growing up! So be gentle, kind, compassionate with us, and don’t defend yourself aka fight if we have issues to take up. Listen & hold space. That requires a whole nother conversation tho, cuz a man’s got to be grounded in himself and who is he first of all in order to do that. Great content Jimmy. Thanks for helping so many of us feel seen & for helping us understand each other 🫶🏽🙏🏽❤️🔥🙌🏽
I would love to see an inverse of this
"Help! My Boyfriend has too much Feminine Energy"
I would love to see it too lol but for the sake of not wanting someone to have to suffer through a relationship like that I hope we never do
As a masculine woman I hate it when people try to feminise me, like no- there isn’t anything wrong with a woman being masculine at all. This video was never about feeling masculine or feminine it was about being guarded vs feeling comfortable. I also feel threatened someone “making” me feel feminine, I cry, I talk about my feelings etc but I’m still masculine.
And being independent has nothing to do with being masculine or feminine, it’s a disrespect to feminine women that they aren’t independent.
I also feel like people often get the whole dynamic of masculine versus feminine completely twisted,
Like they're not even seeing it from the right angle.
It's usually a difference of naivety versus maturity.
Usually the traits that people see as being feminine are just more common in people that are younger and don't know better.
As we get older we learn more we know more, and we do more.
There's also a certain level of strength that comes with that,
So it's silly to be afraid of it.
It's something we all develop for the sake of surviving.
But also there can be times of, mother versus lover.
If I feel like everything I'm doing is an expectation, like I have to perform at a certain level to meet someone's needs,
Then I basically feel like I'm having to mother them.
Because of the constant pressure of those demands, it pulls me completely out of the mood of being vulnerable and free with that person.
And for those of us who end up on the receiving end of these situations, we can always tell when we're being judged for it, even when it's not being explicitly said.
we can tell when someone's being condescending and we really don't appreciate it,
But then if we start to shut off because we're tired of dealing with it, we often get vilified for those feelings.
And because we're just being constantly pushed away instead of being truly understood and accepted,
It's only natural for us to grow resentful.
That is an interesting wiev, thanks!
I agree , its hard to answer the question without understanding what is masculine to him.
Perfect answer, Jimmy! You could be talking about me! I was fortunate to meet a man who must watch your videos and we are building an amazing relationship. Communication and mutual respect are definitely keys to this. It has not been easy for me, but the results are worth the work. Thank you, Jimmy 🥰
RUN, GF!!
In her masculine energy? Maybe that is just her character? Let her be the way she is ? Or do you want to date a cute performer. It’s so weird when women are treated like they have no inherent character to themselves.
When will people accept that gender is learnt through culture and there is no mystic inherent energy or essence?
I want safe for both ❤ Thanks for the emotional coaching brother, God bless you
only problem with this argument i have is the validation of said persons "need" (you mean want, almost assuredly) of a feminine counterpart. how sad
Mmmmm I think it's only sad if you associate a definition of femininity as inherently submissive, servile, or having a connotation of being lesser than their masculine partner. There's nothing wrong with wanting a relationship with someone for whom you have a positive view of femininity with.
In the most literal sense nothing in a romantic relationship is a "need" because we don't need romantic relationships to survive.
Accept her as she is. When you say she's too much in her masculine, that tells me, you aren't in yours enough. What you see in others, you see in you. You are struggling with being masculine and you are taking it out on her. Food for thought.
Absolutely!
Men get your decent masculine on so women can embrace their feminine!
Simple maths 😂
@@lilachiricli6756ans what exactly is wrong with feminine men?
@@Turai12 When masculine are too feminine, feminine then have to take on the masculinity that the masculine are failing to feel or show.
It's simple biology. Masculine look after and feminine nurture, it's in the natural energy of things, but has been skewed.
Nothing to do with power games or sexuality here.
When 'men' fail in this aspect of a relationship, the women end up with having to be their mothers, because unfortunately, men adopt the toxic side of the feminine energy often and that equals failed relationships.
If you were put in a dangerous situation, you would want your 'man' to be masculine enough to secure your safety, right?
That's the core essence.
It’s not masculine energy it’s just he’s being overshadowed and can’t handle it. Believe it or not some women are just happy the way they are and don’t need men it has nothing to do with childhood, they just want a man, but don’t need them.
You can’t have it both ways under that mode of thinking because it’s a logical contradiction. This is what really saddens me is that women like this can’t have the very thing they want, a man who will love her unconditionally, because they don’t understand that a person can’t be both a man and a woman at once nor are they negotiable. You have to surrender control to let the man lead and plan the dates and invite him to approach you and freely choose to be with him otherwise as a woman your desire to dominate a man you want makes him a male slave to treat poorly less than human making him the very same thing you claim you had done to you.
@@Justyouraverageguy172 yes I can have it both ways and I do. Women can be in charge and lead sorry buddy go back to the 1950s. If my man was in charge he’d work full time and we wouldn’t have enough money for our lifestyle. I can provide that by working part time and as it is now, if he worked I’d be losing money to childcare so it’d actually cost me money to send him to work. We love our life as it is. Women with high education, or even just a high iq should be in charge. It just makes sense. Just because you’re a man doesn’t automatically make you a leader 😂 that’s absolutely ridiculous. I’m not a man because I have “masculine energy” that’s not even a thing. What does that even mean? And I’m not going to watch my kids with zero help and do all the housework and be poor just because I think my man should lead. He doesn’t want to leave the house anyway. I don’t either that’s why I only work two days a week. And how will he plan a date? We live in a forest. Are we supposed to drive two hours? We don’t need him to be planning dates I have to pay for. And I don’t need to change and I’m not like this because I don’t feel safe. I was just born with a brain and I happen to be attracted to a man for looks and kindness over brains. It’s not a slight against him. He’s perfect the way he is and so am I. Quit trying to put people in boxes. Just because you’re a man doesn’t make you special. I’m sure if you had a wife she’d tell you that.
I've been told I have more masculine energy my entire life. I don't know how to be any different. I also feel like I'm still very feminine so these concepts are always too abstract and weird for me.
Thank you. Important to understand.
More men like this, please.
#1) Say what you mean. Quit using cutsie sayings, and come out with it. What EXACTLY do you mean when you say 'male energy'?
#2) She is who she is. If you don't like her 'male energy' (whatever that's supposed to mean), break it off now and find someone more suited to you.
I'm kinda icked out by this question, which is essentially: how do I get my gf/wife to change to MY idea of how women should act. I think Jimmy is giving this guy way too much credit bc anyone even using the term "masculine energy" is sus.
I'm so sick of this pointlessly gendered behavior shaming of "feminine" and "masculine" energy, esp bc it usually comes from people who lean red pill (read: rigid gender roles where the man is "dominant" and "powerful" yet can't have emotions, while the woman is docile, demure, deferential and nurturing). Burn that shit down! ✊️ It suffocates both women and men, but women get the worse end of the stick.
And the idea that women who are independent are damaged in some way is insulting, as opposed to recognizing that independent women are just responsible adults.
Well, I'm wholly in my femini e energy and this woman is powerful enough to light up a city and independent enough to explore the world. If someone has a problem with that they aren't in my league. Don't step up if you can't keep up. If that threatens you, you need to do some introspection on why an equal partner makes you uncomfortable.
as a young woman who believes she is too masculine in a relationship, this is quite insightful :0
and yea, that described my thoughts quite well
If being yourself is being masculine then you can't be too masculine.
Your videos could be exactly what's need to bridge the chasm between men and women that has kept them from truly understanding, appreciating and respecting each other since, well, the beginning of patriarchal culture. Women NEVER feel safe around men initially. Men don't realize that and if they do, they exploit it to their advantage. Men, no matter how nice they behave, are seen by women as a threat and it's only the drive to procreate that forces women to let down their guard enough to get involved with men. If women didn't have the need to bear children, I think we'd do just fine simply being acquaintances with men in a professional way. Women's physical and emotional vulnerability puts us at extreme risk from predators and men are completely oblivious to that daily reality for women.
You don't very much care for/have a positive opinion of men do you?
We don't need to bear children? I sure as hell won't.
Um, I’m a woman who is dating, but procreation is not I’m after. Speak for yourself.
When has Self projecting your own fear onto over half the human population become reasonable and logical?
I dont really agree because I'm pretty masc and it's not to protect myself, it's just because that is who I am. I've been this way since I was a kid, I was always running around and wrestling with boys, super athletic, don't like to wear super feminine clothing, etc. I don't think it's right to jump to conclusions abt masc behavior but I definitely see this being a potential reason for masc behavior.
Very well explained! 👏🏻♥️ What's wrong if she is guarded and independent? If she is smart, kind, reasonable and compassionate then I think she is far better than most of them out there. Either accept her as she is or go and find someone who satisfies your idea of "feminine".
She is likely reacting to his behavior. He shouldn't be trying to change her. He needs to gain insight and change himself.
Jimmy you explain things so well every time, I sit here listening and think 'yeah' he's hit the nail on the head yet again.
Thank you
I am so pleased I found you and your channel.
Cheers
Obelia
From Australia 🦘
If I was granted a few of my wishes to be fulfilled, it's very likely that one would be me wising that all men could hear Jimmy talk for an hour every day. In a world of messed-up guys believing that the patriarchy oppressing the vast majority of humans knows how to fulfill their needs, while devaluing the feminine half of humanity as well as their own human emotions, I'm so grateful every time I hear a dissenting voice seeming to understand that the inequality of partnerships is the real culprit behind the distress we're all feeling. Bless you, Jimmy. May all the days of your life from now onward be happy ones.
You nailed it 😢😢. I'm one of those "masculine" women.
Nothing wrong with that ! Just gotta find a strong secure partner.
Oh, Jimmy. Your understanding of women is incredible. Thank you. Again. For doing such great work on this chanel. You are such a precious gift to the world.
What an amazing response Jimmy.
“Masculine” to me would mean handlebar mustaches, grizzly bear chest hair, peeing standing up and being able to aim it in any direction you want, and having an Adam’s apple🤔🤷🏽♀️or something pretty similar. If she doesn’t have all those things, in my opinion, she’s not masculine. If she’s got her own bank account and job and she likes it that way, I’d say she’s just independent and self-reliant. If having those qualities isn’t directly causing someone else to be starving, bleeding, suffocating, having broken bones, or dying, I’d say they’re good qualities.
Given the origin of these terms, how they came about, and why, I would compare it to telling a Black person that you like their 'Black' energy and describing those traits as good at picking cotton, physical strength and endurance perfect for dirty and exhausting work in plantations, docility, obedience, and utility. Conversely, 'white' energy would entail a powerful and in-control demeanor over black communities and resources, coupled with authority, resourcefulness, and leadership. Just as traits associated with masculinity and femininity were constructed to uphold gender roles and power dynamics, the concepts of 'black' and 'white' energy would be similarly shaped to reinforce racial hierarchies. In both cases, certain traits are valorized while others are marginalized, serving to maintain oppressive structures and uphold the status quo.
I wonder if people would say the same thing: "Let the man lead you, be submissive." "Let white people in your life lead you, submit to their authority, let them decide for you." Or "My black friend has white energy, how to bring him back?"
@@carissima_illuminatioI’m black and have been told I act white by other black people. And it’s a wrong thing to do. It’s about conforming to a social construct about what black people can and cannot do. The people who say that kind of stuff are so ignorant because they are revealing the fact that they think black people can only be a certain way.
My gf loves how masculine I am 😂. I mean LOVES IT💖. N that’s who I’ve been, since I was a kid. Grew up a tomboy. Find someone who accepts and not only accepts but is INTO YOU for who YOU ARE! Don’t change for anybody!!!
I'm crying watching this video, this is true. We act like all those things because we are trigerred. Thank you for your video, it helped me so much who i am and it's ok.
thank you for responding like you did
This whole thing about women having "masculine energy" makes me sick. Just say you can't handle strong women, and be done with it.
It's about lead. Sharing an equal amount of (even if different types of) responsibilities, having emotional maturity, connectivity and overall being a healthy human mentally and physically is essential to a relationship. Stuff like humility, empathy, trust, respect, etc. Those all should be given constants when considering polarities.
It's about leadership in the relationship. Not controlling or demanding something as a man, but taking initiative and taking the responsiblity of growth in intimacy. Of course, she has to put in effort into the relationship too, but its the man's job to take the initiative. To take her out on a date when you've been too focused on work. Or, to start the conversation with healthy communication after a fight. And it's not like she can't initiate, no - because both need to put in the effort. But it's generally the man's duty to lead the ship (the relationship) to a better place.
And you can picture this just like a team. Because it is a team. A team where there's a leader. And it is a cooperative game of course. The leader makes the final decision, but doesn't do so without listening to all the team members. Same concept here.
Because you usually won't see an effective team with all members having equal levels of power - rather, there's the effective leader that makes the decision. That's only natural.
Many women are simply terrified of letting a man lead because they fear it may result in the man abusing his position as the leader of the relationship, and interpreting this role as a position of power to exploit and take advantage of. And rightfully so - many men don't listen to their woman when making a decision. They say "hey, we'll move to this country with our kids," without any say of the woman in the matter. But that's not how it works, and not how it should work. The truth is most women fear letting the man lead because they simply *can't* trust him with that position, but would love it if they *could.*
Truthfully, many men think being "the man of the relationship" means being a king with no responsibilities - a hedonist. It doesn't mean that women don't have their own flaws in this matter (one, for example, can be having too high expectations from a man, expecting the man to work so hard for their love, in one way or another, while not receiving much back), but this is to address the problems that men bring which cause so many women to fiercely guard their independence (again, that doesn't conversely mean that the woman of the relationship must become a slave - she has the autonomy level of any human, which should be granted to her as a human, just like to the man - this simply regards relationship dynamics).
Polarities are beautiful and can make relationship thrive if done correctly, but so many don't understand how it is done, and, in such a way, destroy their relationship. I'd recommend reading The Way of The Superior Man for more of this.
This masculine feminine energy bs that got popular online all of a sudden has mostly just looked like repackaging old gender roles and expectations with a shiny, new age-y label to me. It's kinda gross imo. That said, this is one of the better takes I have seen in regards to it. (No surprise voming from this channel)
Wise words. Thanks. Believing in my agency and responsibility are key.
My man asked me why I was so aggressive when I was mad that he looked at other women in their bathinsuits. Like I'm not allowed to be upset or something is wrong with me. :)
Yeah your reaction to degeneracy is the real problem here lol
Haha, to the men reading this recognizing the pattern: demanding her to be stoic and "not giving a damn" about your watching other female bodies half-naked (or fully naked) - *that* would really be asking her "to be in her masculine". You don't mind your own intense watching the beauties, because you are a man. But imagine her with a smile cooking your favourite meals and serving them with her most adorable charm to an other man, but not to you, right in front of you - do you get it then?
Conclusion: reserve your intense attention only to the one whose love and sexual attention you want to be exclusively for you. Don't turn her off, or you are just stupid (sorry to be blunt, but most women are too delicate when they tell you this, and you've got wax in your ears!).
Did you break his glasses or whatever he was looking with? If not, this sounds like feminine energy, a type of aggression based on gossip, shame, reputation (GSR), i.e., posting to show someone in a negative light. Did he agree not to look at them? If so, you would be upset because of lack of respect, masculine energy. On the other hand, if you are upset because his energy is spent on someone besides you, that is feminine energy.
@@theBear89451 Seriously? You again?
He doesn't respect you and you know it, and instead of respecting yourself going into another relationship, you try to change him into respecting you, and your expectation annoys him. You are upset with something legitimate, but expecting respect where there is none.
A woman blossoms in her femininity when she feels emotionally safe and honored.
…And some women simply are more aggressive by nature. Meekness or gentleness or being submissive are very often trained traits and not a question of temperament. As long as women who can kick ass are considered unfeminine (and therefore less desirable or even undesirable) and as long as men who are gentle and submissive are considered unmanly, we will most probably be stuck on stereotypes. And being stuck in stereotypes costs sooooo much energy, because you have to try to adjust and to control and to shape yourself to the expectations of the people around you. Wouldn’t it be fun to be okay just the way you are as long as you let the others be okay just the way they are? Ah, well.
Stop shaming women for not fitting your idea of what a woman should be like 😑
my theory is guy who sent the message wants his female partner to be relient on him. for him to be the "alpha" the one who takes care of everything. which is a terrible mindset . sometimes thing can be that they are guarded, but other times it can be confidence. they are capable of taking care of themselves . why do certain things/actions have to be masculine or feminine ? makes no sense to me.
Read "Jung and Gender: Masculine and Feminine Revisited" by Gary Toub, online.
@@dsoul1305 He's a hack
Thanks!
Really kind of you!!
What's the emoji of a very big heavy thick slap on his face?
😂
Well done Jimmy 🎉
🤦
Thanks. Being on guard and having a defence is needed in this world and it's very unfortunate when people say you should just trust or this and that. We're not living in a fantasy world. The men wjo complain about a less tender wife are often the ones that have neglected and let her down, but may be ignorant about it. So it may not even belong to the past, but be part of the present 🙂
I've never seen this channel before, but TH-cam recommended it. I was expecting some dudebro alpha male nonsense. This was pleasantly surprising and sound advice. Thank you
Strong secure men allow women to be in their feminine energy. This guy probably wants her to be the breadwinner and wonders why she acts masculine.
I as a female sometimes feel I’m too dominant ( male energetikai) with my husband and honestly it gives us a dynamic that leads him being less dominant ( female energy) and then it turns me off sexually. So I needed to understand this and let myself be more feminine. But you are right, I didnt get to be vulnerable as a child. This is the reason. I had to know myself better. Thank you for the video @JimmyonRelationships 😊
As soon as he takes responsibility for himself and steps up in HIS masculine energy and holds space for her she is more likely to be able to relax in her feminine energy....
I mean...energy isn't a thing? What pseudoscience nonsense is this?
Its a just good opportunity to explore this. 😊 There is way more than science on this planet and it has to do with energy, frequency, intention. You can't measure it.
But each wonderful soul can do it their own way 🤷✨
@@singsansandraNone of the things you listed are real.
Don’t get hung up on the word. I don’t think “energy” is referring to to the intangible or ethereal. I think in this instance it’s referring to how we operate. To boil it down to its most basic meaning I think it’s about taking initiative & “being in charge.” The reality is men and women at different times for different reasons do and don’t want to be the one taking initiative/getting crap done. We need to be TALKING about our needs/desires/likes/dislikes with one another. It’s what couples are always doing…..finding the most optimal way to be their best for each other and to sort out the best way they work together in the relationship.
@@lep1976has nothing to do with being masculine or feminine.
Ooooooooh! So good 😊. Just subscribed! Thank you Jimmy 🙏. My husband and I have fully embraced the masc/fem thing and it’s saved our marriage.
My understanding is that because I was born a female and have fem hormones then I will need to operate in “mostly” feminine energy ❤
It means you count only on yourself with family as backup because of their proven track record so your ars is never out there BUT really get excited when a man wants you so much he offers his all and you see it.
I have never felt more understood within a few seconds on this topic. However, I also am naturally this way, I’ve always been, despite my past experiences. The issue with some men is that it’s also based on sexism and some men feeling like their masculinity is somehow threatened, in my experience. If I had a dime for the number of times men sent me messages or said they didn’t want to date me because I had my life together due to a business and career I created that I love, I would be rich. In some cases, people need to put their egos to the side. (Again I am saying this is just some men, not everyone! Don’t come at me!) 😅
Thank you, Jimmy. I couldn't agree more. I'm single today for those very reasons.. why do some men want to change some women. Why can't they just accept us as we are????
Everyone has a mix of “feminine” and “masculine” energy. There’s nothing wrong with living in both, however far on the spectrum someone is. Variety is nice, and it’s comforting to know that someone isn’t compact into one. Both people should naturally balance with one another if they’re compatible and love each other.
Wow. This guy understands the human behavior SO well. You see behind all the masks. Thank you for making these videos.
This information was both powerful & truly insightful! Thank you!!! ❤
That's why so many woman in masculine energy
the question should also be is she really in her masculine all the time and what if you didnt notice that part of her until u got closer to her.. why is always about how she can convenience u when her male counterpart more often than not has issues w introspection & sensitive receptivity bc shame. its a two way street. she can potentially shame him but people polarize each other, it happens
a woman with some masculine is always seen as intimidating but how would you know its a trauma response unless you are actually attentive to how her mind works? her femininity could still very well be intact, simply reserved for diff situations and quiet.
I work with power tools and under the hood of a car. Men have told me that's masculine. Only one asked me why I know how to do this stuff.....grew up with four older brothers and had a long term relationship where I had to "play man" if I wanted anything done.
Very well said Jimmy, I appreciate your balanced, fair, harmonious, articulate and eloquent expressions. Granted, regarding masculine and feminine energies, I invite you to further explore, IF the idea 💡 FEELS light 🪶to you.
Various fields of science has been merging with spirituality, and though there are different labels, ultimately, they’re all saying that everything’s made of the same, interconnected Cosmic Energy.
And since we exist within a physical world-that contains the package deal of OPPOSITES/CONTRASTS/DUALITY/POLARITY-all the energies are basically divided into two (like 1 as in Unity Consciousness splitting into 2, separation consciousness, in order to MIRROR each other as a RELATIONSHIP).
Otherwise, THE ONE 1 would never KNOW-via experiential knowledge/Living Wisdom-what it’s like to Be Self and Other, though conceptually understood.
So therefore there are feminine and masculine energies that help us to better understand our WHOLE essence.
Though I don’t resonate with everything that Teal Swan shares, she did do a great job of teaching how women will become more feminine (their nature) when they feel SAFE (like Jimmy shared).
I know, because I was in the Army, and was more masculine energetically than feminine; plus, there’s the male-dominated military-within an already patriarchal world-that also heavily conditions everyone to be more left brain 🧠 centered, rather than a balance of both.
In addition, throughout most of my life, I’ve been more masculine in my energies-even a tomboy who was the only girl on my baseball team (though before 5 yo, I was more feminine, like wanting to wear pink but not dark blue).
I’m also more masculine around passive men, as if to imply, “Step aside, I’ll take it from here”😄 (or even around women, children, elderly, animals, insects, bugs, trees, plants, etc. who seem like they could use assertive and protective energies).
I intend to increasingly Be a harmonious 🎶, ebb and flow 🪩 Cosmic Dance 💃🏻🕺 of BOTH, as I further master energies within.
I trust that as we further open our minds (with discernment, to avoid being gullible)-and further open our hearts (with healthy boundaries, to avoid being a doormat)-the more we will be able to utilize many energetic tools available to us, to include a deeper understanding of our energetic, core essence.