When to Quit on Someone (or Leave a Bad Relationship!)

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ส.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 4.2K

  • @alittleofeverything4190
    @alittleofeverything4190 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2556

    You will never be good enough for the wrong person.

  • @CillatheStrange
    @CillatheStrange 2 ปีที่แล้ว +267

    Abuse is not just physical. It’s also verbal, psychological and emotional.

    • @dominicusbenacus
      @dominicusbenacus 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Do you have a good source for more in that topic?

    • @ianbetts4435
      @ianbetts4435 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That's true and women tend to be the best at doing that type of abuse. I was married to a woman who abused me like that but it the end she attacked me violently so it usually leads to physical abuse.

    • @janielalvarado3096
      @janielalvarado3096 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@dominicusbenacusI know this comment is really old, so I hope you found what you were looking for. But learn about, manipulation, gaslighting, Controlling, or narcissistic disorder, theres so many more but once you start learning about these, it’s starts to become more clear, interact with the comments and you’ll learn even more. Hope this helps!

    • @AndI0td763
      @AndI0td763 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ianbetts4435A lot of women are highly abusive towards men, it usually just gets swept under the rug. It’s interesting that girls actually tended to be the more verbally abusive ones in my high school. I watched them make fun of a lot of girls and guys including myself, and it’s socially unacceptable to do that towards women as most people will immediately rush to their defense, where as abuse towards men is actually ignored or encouraged. And less people will come to your defense and may even gang up on you for abuse. It’s a crazy double standard. Abuse is abuse, it doesn’t matter who’s doing it, it’s the fact that they shouldn’t be doing it in the first place.

    • @jamesmuthiani5680
      @jamesmuthiani5680 หลายเดือนก่อน

      And mental

  • @samanthagirikhanov2796
    @samanthagirikhanov2796 3 ปีที่แล้ว +613

    Note to self: When you’re clicking videos about whether or not you should quit, it’s probably time.

    • @neshayrobinson
      @neshayrobinson 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      This!! Saved me from watching 10 more videos. Great point

    • @mariacafetherapy
      @mariacafetherapy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Great point!!!

    • @goitsi
      @goitsi 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Whew

    • @sugasweet435
      @sugasweet435 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I-🥲

    • @madj7152
      @madj7152 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      How? I tried to leave many many times. Trauma bond is harder to end

  • @Martha-LaMexa
    @Martha-LaMexa 2 ปีที่แล้ว +146

    I found that in toxic relationships we hold on to an image in our minds of what we wish things to be but that image is so far from what we really are experiencing. Leaving someone who is abusing you is one of the hardest things you will ever do in the moment but the best thing you can do for your soul.
    If you are reading this know you are not alone and it will get better. Be brave and be your own best friend even if it hurts. You deserve the best.❤️

    • @Not-the-usual-BS
      @Not-the-usual-BS 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Thank you 🙏 yes it definitely hurts very much!!

    • @dontassumemyfender9866
      @dontassumemyfender9866 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I feel that the person that is toxic will purposely be wonderful to start with and slowly starts to introduce the abuse and manipulation.
      The person experiencing this usually has low self-esteem to begin with and holds on to the relationship because of how it USED to be.
      I have been on the receiving end of this and I do not regret it because it was a very important lesson in life and love.

    • @alanbbrady8196
      @alanbbrady8196 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Acutely good advice for both Men and Women.

    • @stevenkovler5133
      @stevenkovler5133 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@alanbbrady8196 I left because of abuse. I brought some of it on myself, but it got unbearable. Then after two months of no contact we spoke, which led to a hookup, which led to me falling back in-love with her… to me missing her. I just do not know if she os manipulating me now, she always needs money…

    • @fmneamatullah1856
      @fmneamatullah1856 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@stevenkovler5133 you're not alone. None believe how toxic women can be!!!! Yea, money, the only gentle paradol we've for temporary relief. Symptoms: ignorance, opportunists, blame, use like a money machine, no care/share of space. I wish you and us a toxic free 2023.

  • @yeraldinhp
    @yeraldinhp 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4496

    If someone is looking for a video like this, that's a sign. I need to get out of this crazy relationship.

    • @mattiethesurfer
      @mattiethesurfer 6 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Yeraldin Fuenmayor Haha! I was totally thinking that.

    • @TheTamitude
      @TheTamitude 6 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Yeraldin Fuenmayor. Update???

    • @draganm7823
      @draganm7823 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Hi Yeraldin. How are you doing now? Much better I hope.

    • @karolinawilk7178
      @karolinawilk7178 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      we all do sis

    • @torrisbutler1694
      @torrisbutler1694 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Me too

  • @Atlanta718
    @Atlanta718 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2174

    1. Abuse - Leave immediately
    2. Failed discussions - Converse then seek therapy
    3. Repeated neglect - take care of you
    4. Repeated lies - protect yourself
    5. No appreciation - Seek gratitude from service
    Be there for yourself

    • @hellogbye.2047
      @hellogbye.2047 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Atlanta718 and do bad BY yourself 😂 no one needs help

    • @andaiibori7205
      @andaiibori7205 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Fifi Coney Island There’s nothing wrong with seeking help. No one is perfect and we all have something to learn.

    • @strugglingmuslimah2570
      @strugglingmuslimah2570 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thanks so much

    • @lillydo7713
      @lillydo7713 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      3 and 4 are very true

    • @time4transformation806
      @time4transformation806 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@andaiibori7205 but if they wont get the help with you... And it just keeps devolving and getting less and less good for you... More disrespect and hateful grudgeholding speech... There has to be someone who is going to be good to you the way they used to be.

  • @noturningback2023
    @noturningback2023 3 ปีที่แล้ว +124

    I am happily single at 67. Have been all my life, though I've had a lot of men interested in me. It's a gift to love being alone, free to do and be whatever I want.

    • @juliahkagure1557
      @juliahkagure1557 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Sure

    • @krishammond8851
      @krishammond8851 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Do you have children ?

    • @biba350
      @biba350 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Male friends are the way to go

    • @DaddysDollxo
      @DaddysDollxo 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      LOL 😂 not true - why are you watching this then LOL 😂

  • @mijuajua4820
    @mijuajua4820 4 ปีที่แล้ว +321

    Stonewalling is also a form of abuse. Refusing to talk about your relationship issues on any level is stonewalling.

    • @jameshogue1639
      @jameshogue1639 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Threats , then next day it's as if the person forgot what they said just the day
      before. Memory loss from
      just one day. 🤤

    • @linuxd
      @linuxd 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Thank God for TH-cam. I would never be able to grasp this on my own and I would have fallen for it and been trapped in an unhealthy relationship

    • @mushu889
      @mushu889 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I keep thinking emotional abuse will get better with therapy! He never put a hand on me T_T... But I have a year old son... But he treated him so good, better than we were with eachother!

    • @meekainc
      @meekainc 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      YES!

    • @RiptideMusicOfficial
      @RiptideMusicOfficial 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      THANK YOU.

  • @pcantan08ify
    @pcantan08ify 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1337

    He doesn’t respect me. He doesn’t appreciate me. He neglects me. Leaving now.

    • @ibrahimhamada5751
      @ibrahimhamada5751 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Why?

    • @jasonmedeiros9492
      @jasonmedeiros9492 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Yeah what did you do to him?

    • @raynamaldonado6806
      @raynamaldonado6806 4 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      Jason Medeiros just leave it alone man. No reason to act like that. Her business not ours

    • @jaithevegan
      @jaithevegan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Same

    • @beyoncejc8060
      @beyoncejc8060 3 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      @@jasonmedeiros9492 what do you mean what did she do to him???

  • @Sweethippiexo
    @Sweethippiexo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +970

    “You owe NO loyalty to abusive people. Period.”

    • @matthew.a8786
      @matthew.a8786 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I hired a cyber hacker on kingslogistics.net who helped me to hack a phone without the victims knowing. You can also contact cyber hackers on kingslogistics.net for facebook, Gmail, instagram, text messages, iphone e.t.c hack

    • @dullymoha6771
      @dullymoha6771 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Harsh but best discision

    • @cindyl3297
      @cindyl3297 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      The take away!!

    • @Kata_Rin
      @Kata_Rin 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      indeed, best

    • @angeladallimore8079
      @angeladallimore8079 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Amen 🙏

  • @rachel934
    @rachel934 3 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    I’ve endured 12 years of verbal and emotional abuse, Stonewalling and love bombing. He always had a way of making me believe it was my fault. Even when he betrayed me by having an affair he got me to believe that he was entitled to that affair because she was so much nicer to him than I was. I actually believed him and took him back only to be stonewalled and verbally and emotionally abused again. This time I was able to see the pattern repeating. Educate yourself, it’s your best defense against narcissistic bullies. I ended the relationship today. I already feel relieved from the extreme weight of this abusive relationship.

    • @quietE23
      @quietE23 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Dear Rachel ⚘
      How are you today?
      Hope you are in a way way way better place (mental, physical, emotional...) than when you wrote this text.
      Stay strong ❤ and be proud of your choice

    • @pearlm1618
      @pearlm1618 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Good for you lovely, I left my narcissistic bf a year ago and I have no regrets. I wish I trusted my inner intuition then, so I would of saved 2,5 years of my life. May God bless you with the loving man one day🙏❤

    • @Mylastchance21879
      @Mylastchance21879 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You sound like a narcissist. I didn’t hear any accountability

  • @mandyvonbroembsen2348
    @mandyvonbroembsen2348 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I stayed in an emotionally abusive marriage for 28 years. The sadest part was that I did not realise I was being abused. I eventually my daughter told me that my husband was abusive. I left him 5 years ago. It has been tough but it was the best decision I made.

  • @grannywindu7
    @grannywindu7 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2092

    Don’t go 44 years like I did. Stop when it first starts

    • @amyd1549
      @amyd1549 4 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      Hugs Linda, you are not alone.

    • @mmommo2025
      @mmommo2025 4 ปีที่แล้ว +71

      34 years, children are grown, now its my turn

    • @victoriamorgan3776
      @victoriamorgan3776 4 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      Yes. 26 years for me. It stole the best part of my life.

    • @CircumstancesNeverMatter
      @CircumstancesNeverMatter 4 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      This is a sad post, that's terrible feeling like you gave your best years to a dead end marriage.

    • @millions2nette
      @millions2nette 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@victoriamorgan3776 So sorry :(...TODAY IS THE FIRST (AND BEST) DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. You'll never be any younger than you are right now.

  • @Jahmaidraws
    @Jahmaidraws 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2609

    Some of us love too hard and give too much when we receive so little. Even if its emotional or financially

    • @cookingwithchas3397
      @cookingwithchas3397 6 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      So true

    • @adrianomelai
      @adrianomelai 6 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      So true, and that's so sad. :(

    • @InSpadez
      @InSpadez 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      +Cookie Cookie
      At least I made her pay for dinner before I dumped her.
      LOL
      Joke's on her.

    • @LittleMissHoop
      @LittleMissHoop 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Yep. We’re called empaths

    • @Nobody23232
      @Nobody23232 5 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      Me 😓 I love this guy so much and I just don’t think he will ever love me the same. It hurts cuz I think he could care less if this relationship would end but me on the other hand would probably feel like I just lost everything 😓

  • @ShannonShenanigans79
    @ShannonShenanigans79 3 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    17 years I need to let go, I am not treated right. The only emotion he has for me is anger. No affection, nothing. Then wonders why I become cold.

    • @filippina13
      @filippina13 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Emotional abuse is still a form of domestic abuse. Netflix series Maid highlights this well.

    • @electricreds6415
      @electricreds6415 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      17 am the same

  • @marianaortiz3523
    @marianaortiz3523 3 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    I was on an verbal abuse relationship for 17 year, and I was so scared, but I wanted out. I made a plan, and I stood by it. I’m on my own, single, and happy. It’s been 1 year, and with TH-cam coaching, and motivation channels, I have been able to survive. Keep y’all heads up and make a plan. It works. P.S. I’m poor, and I’m racing 3 teen. No excuses. We can do it.

    • @natgq7242
      @natgq7242 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Don’t say poor, say broke.
      Broke is temporary

    • @kaxa9285
      @kaxa9285 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Good luck 😊. You are a really strong person. Any child would be proud to have a parent like you.

    • @deenny47
      @deenny47 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I broke up today because of abuse, whenever we into Problem or Argument she always insulted my Mom or Dad and my was maybe because i lived with her but i also got my appartment i don't there, i try my best to safe our relationship it could not so i walk out today and i'll get my remaining things on weekend

  • @inigomontoya9094
    @inigomontoya9094 5 ปีที่แล้ว +752

    My girlfriend sent me this, it took some deep self reflection to realize the damage i have done to our relationship.

    • @GauravYadav-xy5pn
      @GauravYadav-xy5pn 5 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      I hope you learned your lesson.take care.

    • @noxolochin3660
      @noxolochin3660 5 ปีที่แล้ว +88

      I so wish my partner could also realise his faults and fix himself just as you did

    • @Alphacentauri819
      @Alphacentauri819 5 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      That’s awesome you realized...many don’t. Dr Gottman has good insight and advice to help repair and rebuild relationships. Some good videos here on TH-cam.
      Best of luck 🌸

    • @emberblack8706
      @emberblack8706 5 ปีที่แล้ว +71

      It takes a lot of humility to be able to admit that. I hope things have worked out, I am proud of the effort you put to understand.

    • @ld8956
      @ld8956 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Wow that's great you have realized! Don't give up keep working on yourself, it's only up from here

  • @cestrc
    @cestrc 4 ปีที่แล้ว +248

    Time always tells is someone cares about you or not. Life is already hard, don’t make it harder by spending it with someone who doesn’t care about you.

  • @niilochonwu545
    @niilochonwu545 3 ปีที่แล้ว +411

    Yes! Amen! I’ve found relationships that come in fast and heavy and become your “best friend” quickly are usually very toxic. When relationships develop like that for me I’ve learn to throw the red flags and step back and put some space and boundaries. Usually I e found that person is mirroring what they think I want and who they think I want them to be so they can connect quickly and after longer closer observation of their life there are so many inconsistencies in who they say they are and what they really do with their choices.

    • @llararulens8895
      @llararulens8895 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      You nailed my last relationship, 10 years and then I left.

    • @lynnvangyzen3946
      @lynnvangyzen3946 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Spot on!!

    • @juicebaron8056
      @juicebaron8056 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thx

    • @aprilmccoy4195
      @aprilmccoy4195 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Oh wow! You hit the nail on the head! My situation exactly!! I wish I would’ve taken the time to get to know my husband before I married him. He was nothing like he portrayed in the beginning. I feel duped and misled. I feel that was his strategy to gain my trust.

    • @CamperEra
      @CamperEra 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Well said.

  • @Vinizoyo
    @Vinizoyo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    I am happy my ex broke up with me to be with another guy, theraphy is making me realize all these things you said, she did not appreciate me or treat me right, was lying a lot and not respecting me. Sometimes bad comes for good. Love to you all.

  • @amandasmith8327
    @amandasmith8327 5 ปีที่แล้ว +413

    I now realize... you going to hurt if you leave Or stay BUT at least if you LEAVE, you can begin to heal & love yourself & get out and start OVER in life but if you Stay, you will continue to hurt, which is better..😌🙏

    • @veeoby3364
      @veeoby3364 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Best way to look at it for anyone trying to decide leaving a bad relationship. Thanks for sharing

    • @candlem.5031
      @candlem.5031 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Amanda Smith this is the best way to help someone leave. ty im so happy i read this comment

    • @Mm-so7to
      @Mm-so7to 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Leaving is better.

    • @carolinebrenning178
      @carolinebrenning178 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You should write quotes💖
      Thank you for your wise words that my blinded heart needed to take in.

    • @Nyamburas_Diary
      @Nyamburas_Diary 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@candlem.5031
      Hi I was thinking of getting land on a new lease nderi if I could

  • @thelunabear4
    @thelunabear4 6 ปีที่แล้ว +563

    Watching this after I left my boyfriend, I’m reassured I made the right decision.

    • @guesswho5790
      @guesswho5790 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Right on!! 💪

    • @MichaelLesesne
      @MichaelLesesne 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Gurl, give us an update...did you go back for one of those late night reminders? lol

    • @BrittanySchank
      @BrittanySchank 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Good work! You're a strong lady! This is hard to do!

    • @tayali2201
      @tayali2201 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Saaaame lool

    • @lenab.6714
      @lenab.6714 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lucky, I'm afraid to leave my man. All these signs apply

  • @ashleymccoy9876
    @ashleymccoy9876 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    The worst breakups are those we spend while still hanging onto what you thought you two were...then to make it worse, they gaslight you into believing you're the one who "changed". 😪

    • @aminacatalina1297
      @aminacatalina1297 ปีที่แล้ว

      Literally went through this a couple days ago

    • @jannlewandowski5540
      @jannlewandowski5540 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ashley McCoy, I was engaged 💍 to a Narcissist for 5 years and never knew what that was. I was FUTURE FAKED. Gaslighted, and used for money. I finally left him and needed Therapy. My Therapist told me about the narc, and she survived one after 18 years. Thank God I found out when I did! He rebounded and married his rebound in 2 weeks. This was 11 years ago and I never saw him again.

    • @danemery9567
      @danemery9567 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jannlewandowski5540 e 😅😅e😮😅😅😅😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😢😅😮😮😮😮😮😮 😮f

    • @danemery9567
      @danemery9567 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@aminacatalina1297 😅d 😮 red c. D😅 deed d d 😮d d 😮e 😮😮 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮 deed😮😮 deed😮😮de red😮 😮😮😮e 😮 😮 Eden😮😮😮 😮😮 😮 Ed e 😮😮😮 😮😮 see😮😅😮 😢😅😮 Ed😮e 😮😮 see fedEge deed deed deeddeed

  • @nosicamathurin7245
    @nosicamathurin7245 2 ปีที่แล้ว +452

    I like the answer about switching numbers in phones- but that means they actually have that persons number saved or you know who the person is in their phone. But if you do have access to their phone- use a key-logger- I don’t know which to suggest- but I have used 2, but you have to research and research to find a good one and they cost money- but, if you want to know everything they type on their phone, their social media and app usage and their geographic location- the 2nd one I used also had a call recorder and a microphone tapper- which would send a secret text to his phone and then give me listening access to his surroundings. I know- I was crazy for a brief moment in life and realized I didn’t need to torture myself trying to play detective, and I cut him loose. He has since admitted to one infidelity accidentally or maybe on purpose because he wanted to try to hurt me, either way I was indifferent. Back to spying- I did this when I realized chunks of texts between his female boss and him missing from his phone- and he had recently told me she was in trouble at work for snap chatting with the male employees, not him, but others (yeah, right) her avoiding me at the Christmas party was very evident, I mean skin crawling evident. Anyways, you need access to his phone for about 5-10 minutes. TO CATCH ANYONE RED HANDED HIRE Tischler TRACKANDSPYCELL.ORG
    THEY ARE SO SWIFT ACCURATE AND RELIABLE

    • @kevinmiller3584
      @kevinmiller3584 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      wish everyone to achieve their goals, fulfill who they are meant to be, & succeed in life! Greetings from Los Angeles but don't be cheated and if you got cheated or ever lost your acct, reach out to that dude.

    • @kevinmiller3584
      @kevinmiller3584 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      wish everyone to achieve their goals, fulfill who they are meant to be, & succeed in life! Greetings from Los Angeles but don't be cheated and if you got cheated or ever lost your acct, reach out to that dude.

    • @swampbiketeam8794
      @swampbiketeam8794 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks, they have amazing services

  • @doesnotplaywellwithothers3455
    @doesnotplaywellwithothers3455 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1115

    I found myself making excuse after excuse for bad behavior.. but it's about self love and self respect... enough is enough just walk away. Sure it hurts, take time to heal and love yourself before getting into another relationship..

    • @carolinewiemann7705
      @carolinewiemann7705 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      timothy yaiser

    • @alethiasykes7627
      @alethiasykes7627 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      timothy yaiser
      Thank you!!!

    • @robertscottTV
      @robertscottTV 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      As much as i hate to read this, it's true

    • @shahrazad2006
      @shahrazad2006 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I totally agree!
      I can’t really understand why I’m still struggling this toxic, mess, bad habit I have everyday.

    • @sverbrussolo4821
      @sverbrussolo4821 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      dude my ex gf, hited me with a broom stick made of aliminum, she destroyed all my things, tv, ps4, the kitchen, everything.... she as screaming at me pretty bad things while she hit me in the head, the arms, the face, it was horrible, she even treatned our pets....

  • @katherinegraham8496
    @katherinegraham8496 6 ปีที่แล้ว +280

    I left 8 weeks ago. After I watched this, I am never going back.

    • @BrittanySchank
      @BrittanySchank 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I'm so glad this gave you some reassurance and strength. I'm a licensed mental health therapist and leaving is SO tough! Not to mention, many times dangerous. Good work!

    • @chichichiugo8532
      @chichichiugo8532 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sending you healing energy and Blessings ♥️♥️

    • @susanwong6471
      @susanwong6471 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Good for you, it takes lots of courage to leave someone 👍

  • @seductivefury
    @seductivefury 3 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    Failed discussions.. yeah that one hit home. Sad when you can't even speak and when you do, your not being heard. 14 yrs..lack of engagement & neglets (paying attention to all the hints) I'm done💔

    • @irongloves89
      @irongloves89 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same. Maybe we should hook up. 🤣🤷🏻‍♂️

  • @Nitzerr
    @Nitzerr 3 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    I needed this 3 years ago. It's pretty sad when my partner fit all those indicators and I sat and took it for the entire relationship.

  • @LukitoPerkasa
    @LukitoPerkasa 5 ปีที่แล้ว +268

    1. Abuse
    2. Failed discussions
    3. Neglect
    4. Lies
    5. No appreciation

  • @kristylattanzio9437
    @kristylattanzio9437 5 ปีที่แล้ว +430

    The fact that I'm sitting here watching this video tells me all I need to know, I think.

    • @kobywiggs2627
      @kobywiggs2627 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Kristy Lattanzio right there with you!

    • @leddyfdz4376
      @leddyfdz4376 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I was just thinking this. When you start looking up the subject, there’s already a foot out the door.

    • @jasminemichael9966
      @jasminemichael9966 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same

    • @lioydwilliams1850
      @lioydwilliams1850 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Kristy Lattanzio, Hope you are not with a narcissist 😈!

    • @annamoore40
      @annamoore40 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      this comment made me tear up, you’re right

  • @steventoms7940
    @steventoms7940 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    My god, I’ve seen so many relationship videos but this one has given me so much clarity. She was all of these things apart from the physical abuse.
    I’m worth more and glad she’s out of my life 🙌

  • @Sophie-iu6zv
    @Sophie-iu6zv 3 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    I want to send this to my husband but I am afraid that he is going to blame me instead of reflecting on himself, just like all of the conversations that I have started...

    • @toorealformyowngood241
      @toorealformyowngood241 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Ladies you need to check out videos on Narcissism. Don't show your men this video thinking it will sink in for them. Actually maybe you should and if he gets upset, low key (messed up words) order high level upset(screaming about it), then you should definitely check out videos on Narcissism because you may be with one. Good Luck ladies. #HumanRace 🙏🏿🙏🏾🙏🏽🙏🙏🏻🙏🏼

    • @ariannqueenn8575
      @ariannqueenn8575 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I get blamed for everything too. It’s so draining!

    • @wendy92410
      @wendy92410 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I sent it.

    • @bigiron7547
      @bigiron7547 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@toorealformyowngood241 well wait can’t that go both ways tho?
      I thought u were pointing out that showing ur partner this video is usually what a narcissist does. A lot of people (women and men) tend to think they get blamed for everything and they are so perfectly pristine with holy goodness and they are the ones who lack self reflection of any kind

    • @nicolerice8881
      @nicolerice8881 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I just sent this to my husband and I’m sure he’ll blame me for our problems.

  • @Frenchylikeshikes
    @Frenchylikeshikes 6 ปีที่แล้ว +703

    my wife has been cheating on me constantly for the past years. I think I am finally strong enough to let her go.

    • @thouxan211
      @thouxan211 6 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Abigame Im happy for u mine just started so in going through the phase

    • @St0rD
      @St0rD 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Abigame Cmon man, I sincerely hope it has been done now.

    • @nancypretty7576
      @nancypretty7576 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The gaming Turnip sorry guys

    • @Solarpunkkait
      @Solarpunkkait 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Good for you!

    • @LoveNLife700
      @LoveNLife700 5 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      My wife filed for a divorce and after she got played she runs back to me and we have 2 kids. Talk about pain

  • @chelagatbrenda4592
    @chelagatbrenda4592 5 ปีที่แล้ว +133

    An abusive person doesn't deserve loyalty.

  • @melis6294
    @melis6294 3 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    My husband repeatedly neglects my requests for help around the house.
    He doesn't have a clue of what needs to be done so I have to tell him, even though he agrees he later ends up not doing it. Even months go by and he hasn't done it.
    He says I should give him reminders.
    I've explained, talked, expressed how his constant neglect makes me feel disrespected, abandoned, resentful.
    Still none of those work he is still being neglectful and apathetic.
    I'm fed up, our house needs a lot of work, it's a fixer upper, he's also apathetic about having fun or doing something fun together.
    He keeps saying it's a communication problem. Sure and I was born yesterday.
    I'm seriously considering leaving I feel miserable, depressed and at my limit. His neglect is abusive.

    • @shyemma9081
      @shyemma9081 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Did you leave yet?

    • @melis6294
      @melis6294 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@shyemma9081 No, I didn't, I gave him an ultimatum, he decided to go onto a 12 steps program and it has made a huge change for him.

    • @ninacuk
      @ninacuk 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@melis6294 what is a 12 steppes program?

  • @bipedalbob
    @bipedalbob 3 ปีที่แล้ว +93

    I've noticed that when a relationship starts everything is wonderfull,
    Love makes you blind to reality, I've found it takes about 2 years before you will see the real person, that's when the reality hits.
    Many people I've met that were or are in toxic relationships will say the first 2 years were good and then it erodes fast, but some will try and try to get back what they had , some for 20 years or more.
    If your in a relationship ship that had passed the 2 year mark and it isn't what you had, isn't what you want it's time to leave, it won't get better, it will never be what it was. If your thinking about it, it's time to go,
    It's just a matter of how much more of your life are you going to waste chasing something the really never was.

    • @llararulens8895
      @llararulens8895 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Agree

    • @FloridaGirl-
      @FloridaGirl- 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Every new broom sweeps good. Usually there are red flags way before 2 yrs, I think anyway. But most people ignore it. You click or you don’t. 🤷‍♀️

    • @1010QUEEN7
      @1010QUEEN7 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I wish I had never met him 37 years later

    • @erneste-3williams
      @erneste-3williams 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I agree with this

    • @herminiarivera2557
      @herminiarivera2557 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ⁰pi0

  • @rutendomutenha5657
    @rutendomutenha5657 6 ปีที่แล้ว +306

    You forgot Emotional and psychological abuse. Those are deep and really break someones core.

    • @loricrockett-owens5117
      @loricrockett-owens5117 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      rutendo mutenha also financial abuse.

    • @xtina1fan
      @xtina1fan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I am experiencing all 3

    • @Etianen7
      @Etianen7 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      wasn't this included in 1. ?

    • @ThanhTran-pv4kl
      @ThanhTran-pv4kl 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I give too much of myself to someone who doesn't even deserve it.. I can't move on without feelings.. it hurts me to leave

    • @matthew.a8786
      @matthew.a8786 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I hired a cyber hacker on kingslogistics.net who helped me to hack a phone without the victims knowing. You can also contact cyber hackers on kingslogistics.net for facebook, Gmail, instagram, text messages, iphone e.t.c hack

  • @aaliyahkhan8690
    @aaliyahkhan8690 6 ปีที่แล้ว +570

    Emotional and physical abuse
    Repeated failed discussions
    Repeated neglect
    Repeated lies

    • @janeaqui9416
      @janeaqui9416 5 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Aaliyah Khan 5th one is: You're not being appreciated.

    • @jacquelinem1960
      @jacquelinem1960 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Repeated wasted years. I know. Quit ....... before you have children and feel really stuck.

    • @Christopher40028
      @Christopher40028 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      This is my current common law and future ex

    • @TiyeeglowTV
      @TiyeeglowTV 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      yes

    • @djbigmama33
      @djbigmama33 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Aaliyah Khan I hear ya 😓😓

  • @peterweber4094
    @peterweber4094 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Neglect, yes, three strikes and your out! Thanks, that is what I needed to hear. And of course the appreciation and neglect goes together.

    • @dgvdc1042
      @dgvdc1042 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      ±2349056214114⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up...

  • @KO-im6sm
    @KO-im6sm 3 ปีที่แล้ว +85

    You cant work on a relationship alone. You both have to want it

  • @Marketsolo
    @Marketsolo 6 ปีที่แล้ว +185

    I should have listened to this 40 years ago. When I found out I was married to a bully who turned out to be a narcissist sociopath. But mental abuse took a toll before the physical became an issue. He didn't respect, honor or love me. I've been divorced 5 almost 6 years now and am happier than ever.. I now value myself.

    • @xtina1fan
      @xtina1fan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      You give me hope, I feel stuck right now.

    • @jokerbox_official
      @jokerbox_official 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Ave Odom I feel stuck too

    • @ld8956
      @ld8956 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@jokerbox_official keep researching and learning about narcissistic abuse. Have an escape plan and when you go don't look back because it only gets worse

    • @ugi976
      @ugi976 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      My dad still in this emotional physical verball abusive relationship for 34 years and now he has liver cancer, it is resentment.
      I hate my mom sometimes and explode on her.
      If you keep treating your loved one it either that person will dissapear from you becoming sick or run away from you.
      His escaoe is his work he likes to leave the house so he would not be abused.

    • @ld8956
      @ld8956 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ugi976 don't feed into the negativity or it will consume and harm you too! Hate only hurts us more. I'm so sorry for you and your father my prayers are with you. Find help maybe a therapist will aid in guiding you to keep from suffering more than you need to.

  • @mtio2807
    @mtio2807 5 ปีที่แล้ว +415

    To women, STOP thinking that an abuser will change. They will not. Abusers need professional help. You cannot offer that. Get away from a toxic relationship.
    My sister almost died at the hands of an abusing boyfriend. I sat at her bedside, crying, wishing I had done more when I suspected abuse. That night when she finally got away, he literally beat her to an inch from death. My sister was holding her newborn baby as he nearly killed her. All she says she could do is shield the baby. As soon as she had a second where the abuser went to get a weapon to hurt her further, she ran away (barefoot). She never ever EVER went back. It can be done. Life WILL get better. Please, you deserve better. Your family deserves better.

    • @jennifersimpson8337
      @jennifersimpson8337 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      M Tio oh my goodness I’m so glad she’s safe and the baby.

    • @rochelleperkins627
      @rochelleperkins627 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      My payers for you and your sister

    • @matthew.a8786
      @matthew.a8786 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I hired a cyber hacker on kingslogistics.net who helped me to hack a phone without the victims knowing. You can also contact cyber hackers on kingslogistics.net for facebook, Gmail, instagram, text messages, iphone e.t.c hack

    • @Em_Elizabeth
      @Em_Elizabeth 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      What a psychopath!

    • @guinevereinthefield176
      @guinevereinthefield176 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      M Tio So glad she got out! How did it start, do you know? Might help on here if you know of early signs she experienced? Thank you for posting about your sister anyhow though, a really effective warning.

  • @adelinaenriquez1531
    @adelinaenriquez1531 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I’m so grateful to know that the 2signs means your marriage is not working because it has been long enough to suffer thru that. And I don’t know why he just denies it. Yes I’ve known of it but now making a commitment to surrender & let go. Please pray for me🙏🏻❤️

  • @karinmenendez1265
    @karinmenendez1265 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Where have you been the last seven years of my life?! Doesn’t matter. My husband checked all the boxes, except abuse. Thank you for giving me the resolve to value myself, and let go. Truly. Thank you.

  • @janellinell4552
    @janellinell4552 4 ปีที่แล้ว +121

    It’s the worst feeling when others don’t appreciate or “see” your contributions in a relationship

    • @rockdagreat44
      @rockdagreat44 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Or when their phone gets more attention than you

    • @ThatGirlOnYourTV
      @ThatGirlOnYourTV 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Or when your effort is barely reciprocated.

  • @guesswho5790
    @guesswho5790 5 ปีที่แล้ว +163

    Sometimes we need someone to tell us these things because we never learned what a healthy relationship feels like. So, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for making such an informative video for us.

    • @bscnyc9948
      @bscnyc9948 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      guess who.... now im so convinced.... thank you... toxic. rel.. 🙄👀😜🤔

    • @bscnyc9948
      @bscnyc9948 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      finally......satisfied customer👀🤔🙄👀

    • @bscnyc9948
      @bscnyc9948 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      from start till now
      .... nothing....!!!! no connection... no name no dialogue.... not a sign....!!!! SO GOOD BYE NOW. FORGET HIM🙄🤔🙄👀TULOG NA OI!!! SABAA!!! 😜🤔🙄

    • @bscnyc9948
      @bscnyc9948 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      thanks.. no need to tell me.... I knew.... from start to finish....

    • @xavierlopez6545
      @xavierlopez6545 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I was on the same boat as you, your abuser can convince you that you are the problem, and that things are you fault,
      Or they may convince you that your in what a relationship is, and you live so long without knowing what a relationship really could me, or should be

  • @MsSonalk
    @MsSonalk 3 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Just one word.... "Thankyou" there are many times we ignore the bad signs in our relationship but we ignore them or we just think that it would pass after some time may be it's just the situation or anything else. But yes we should always open our eyes to see these signs. Value yourselves may be it's a very long relationship or how many people say that you are in a good relationship but if you are not feeling it then it's time to think for yourself . Have mercy on you !!! God bless to us

  • @fayedavin2381
    @fayedavin2381 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    No man is worth downgrading your self esteem or value system.Period. Stay Strong!

  • @prestonxu9736
    @prestonxu9736 7 ปีที่แล้ว +139

    She does not abuse me physically, and i bet she never will, but she abuses my heart, which hurts more.

    • @musicbrazilian7065
      @musicbrazilian7065 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      How can you give me some examples please?

    • @chaucerparks5941
      @chaucerparks5941 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yep...I totally agree with you ✌💨

    • @Alphacentauri819
      @Alphacentauri819 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Have you spoken to her about this?
      The 5 love languages might help?
      Also, Dr Gottman has great TH-cam videos to help relationships.
      My partner thought I was so hurtful, until he finally realized I was reacting to his hurtful behavior... which he had dismissed when I tried to bring it up. He couldn’t see the connection and my resentment and hurt, which then came out in hurtful behavior towards him.
      I would examine what her needs are and if you’ve really listened and tried to meet them...you might also be hurtful in ways you can’t see.
      We all have fears, desires, poor coping mechanisms and needs we bring into a relationship.
      Learning vulnerability and putting aside ego, to connect, is very powerful.
      Best of luck and may your heart be healed 🌸

    • @matthew.a8786
      @matthew.a8786 4 ปีที่แล้ว

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  • @kristy889
    @kristy889 4 ปีที่แล้ว +161

    Must be pretty toxic if I searched this on TH-cam. Still learning to love myself and realizing I deserve more. Thank you sincerely....

    • @ashtonleger7591
      @ashtonleger7591 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Right there with you . I feel like people don’t understand how hard it is to leave someone that you love so much . 😻😻

  • @LeboMollo
    @LeboMollo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    "When there is abuse in a relationship, you leave!" I'm tired of emotional abusers - the pastor, friends, siblings

  • @ivytop9918
    @ivytop9918 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Emotional Stinginess is worst in a relationship. It's natural to expect appreciation and recognition, without such family members, you feel like dead inside

    • @heyitsmeshanm6727
      @heyitsmeshanm6727 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I agree. This guy I traveled more than 19hrs for, spent €4K all my own on the trip, surprised him on his birthday and I didn't even hear a single thank you or any hint of appreciation. He even asked me to pay for fuel on a short trip. Wow. Glad I left

  • @thegamerrockz
    @thegamerrockz 6 ปีที่แล้ว +328

    Yes... Leave sooner than later!
    I was abused for 4 years... Not physically... But in all other ways. Verbally, mentaly, and emotionaly. I was made to quit my job and I was told everyday how unsatisfactory my dedication is... It took me a complete year to regain my confidence and mental strength. This happened to me coz I always thought that probably under this abusive man and his abusive family there are truthful and genuine people.... It was just denial. So please girls.... Leave sooner than later.

    • @erikmurray3661
      @erikmurray3661 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Maybe it was you ever thought of that?

    • @denny0_o
      @denny0_o 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Amen.. Leave sooner than Later!

    • @kathleeningle7633
      @kathleeningle7633 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @Louise W why are you criticizing this lady for how she feels ? We're you there through her abuse ??? I think NOT ! Infact with that worthless comment you made I wouldn't doubt that your a f...in Narcissistic abuser .. 🖕

    • @dirtydanimal3946
      @dirtydanimal3946 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sorry to hear that..yr beautiful tho and will find the one for u

    • @madelynnazario8361
      @madelynnazario8361 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I can relate to your situation because I went through it as well. Take care of yourself. Love yourself more. This video is every interesting. But what about abuse from coworkers and supervisors. These people also affect those around them. They sabotage the work environment.

  • @TheSplendidus
    @TheSplendidus 7 ปีที่แล้ว +224

    I quit on my brother and 4 months later on my mother this year, failed discussions ,repeated lies, zero respect, punished for telling the truth.
    Thank you for the video Brendon, love you man!

    • @JohanBoo88
      @JohanBoo88 7 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Tigresa Couturista that's always one of the worst things, when one gets punished for telling the truth or worse, not lying to please "them" 😩

    • @TheSplendidus
      @TheSplendidus 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      it is

    • @Keys7
      @Keys7 7 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Tigresa My mother is narcissistic and so is my soon to be ex..I went No contact with her a few times but I have made the decision to completely annihilate her from my life in June. Funny thing I just decided ( like literally a week ago) to forgive my ex and give him another chance but today I decided I just dont want to be bothered with all the emotional baggage.

    • @joannajohnson696
      @joannajohnson696 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I feel for you. I recently looked at all the giving I was doing for others and the people that did nothing in return for me. Selfish people have no place in our lives that use people. Honor the struggle.

    • @joshy7916
      @joshy7916 6 ปีที่แล้ว

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  • @AudreyMarieKeel
    @AudreyMarieKeel 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The world is full of great people. Yes, and more people of integrity are entering my life so it's helping me to really establish this belief for my life.

  • @hildanjagi7489
    @hildanjagi7489 2 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    My dad died and in the period of grieving I love saying good things about him because my Dad was a really good man...my boyfriend on the other hand comes and says I'm praising him too much he's a man too and his only saying it out of jealousy which to him is out of love ...I feel like that's a deal breaker for me

    • @muenimutisya738
      @muenimutisya738 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What.hugs

    • @1010QUEEN7
      @1010QUEEN7 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I had a good daddy too I know where you're saying and how it feels so sorry I didn't gave my children a good daddy like I had

  • @naanafavored2617
    @naanafavored2617 7 ปีที่แล้ว +72

    one thing I have realized when it comes to quitting on someone is that individual has to be ready to leave cux no amount of words from friends, family etc will make that individual being abused leave. but once they gather the courage to leave, they are gone forever and nothing will make them look back.

  • @LevelUpYourLife
    @LevelUpYourLife 4 ปีที่แล้ว +144

    I really like that part about "not having to be along someone's journey every step of the way". It's better sometimes to cut off the relationship and let the other person grow into who they need to be. Well said with all of this!

    • @kro0kbo0k101
      @kro0kbo0k101 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What if that person says they cant grow and get the help they need without you and your help ?

    • @cheryl2651
      @cheryl2651 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@kro0kbo0k101 Chris, I believe that is a form of manipulation.

  • @yvaz3373
    @yvaz3373 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Feeling neglected....yes. I always had to do everything on my own because he never had the time for me. That is so wrong...did cut him loose in November.

  • @Shane3599
    @Shane3599 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Im the one that walked away. I Walked away from my ex who kept hurting me even though I told him the the things he kept doing were hurtful over and over. He wasn’t listening and he wasn’t taking accountability and he just didn’t do anything. I tried so hard. He was immature, hot /cold, lazy and made me do all the work. He was so inconsistent. He only wanted what he could get from me. I did everything and he wouldn’t budge. He tried to control me and wanted me to act happy all the time and I wasn’t allowed to say anything negative and he shut me out. He didn’t make me feel loved, appreciated, valued and heard. He didn’t make me feel supported, special and important. His words and actions didn’t match up, he made promises and there was a lot of inconsistencies in his actions and excuses. When I catch him, he denies it and he tells me he didn’t do it even though I have proof. He took me for granted.
    I gave him my all from the bottom of my heart. I asked him for appreciation, he says good things but then he doesn’t follow through with it.

  • @MsVicky-qd6cp
    @MsVicky-qd6cp 5 ปีที่แล้ว +184

    If only I had viewed this video when I was 23yrs old. I recently got out of a toxic relationship that occurred over 12yrs. 12yrs!!! Awful I know but thankful Im finally moving forward (BIG SIGH)!

    • @fitnfab6522
      @fitnfab6522 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Me, 10yrs! Everything in this was him. It had destroyed me, my heart, my health, everything. Right now I left him, but he still thinks we are together. He just doesn't get it, I swear.i am healing now, and there is a part of still comforting. But I knew deep down it was over long time ago. I mean over 7yrs ago. But I stayed not because I wanted but because it took me that long to come out if. The truth is not how long you stayed in an abusive relationship but how long did it take you to come out of it. Out of 10yrs, for me, it took me almost a bit over 7yrs to come out of it.

    • @xavierlopez6545
      @xavierlopez6545 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I was in mine for around 6 years, still hurts, better days will come, at least knowing give your the chance to form a real relationship

    • @tammyhlu
      @tammyhlu 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      10 years of struggle for me too. I knew I needed an exit strategy in the last 2 years. It was mentally abusive and toxic. I’m now a month on my own and loving myself again.

    • @kikiblessed00
      @kikiblessed00 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Me 14 year, smh😒

    • @raynamaldonado6806
      @raynamaldonado6806 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You are never too old. Girl you are lovely. Open your heart to true love but don’t forget to be careful.❤️ much love

  • @sankalpjadhav6683
    @sankalpjadhav6683 7 ปีที่แล้ว +857

    Many people are going to break up after watching this video 😂😂

    • @Lewieo
      @Lewieo 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sankalp's World 😂😂

    • @gandhipushpak
      @gandhipushpak 7 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Sankalp's World no they are not they are gonna be free from guilt

    • @fireflypixi
      @fireflypixi 7 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      And that's not a bad thing if the relationship is unhealthy...

    • @Rockyylikee
      @Rockyylikee 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sankalp's World facts

    • @whatsmynameagain7774
      @whatsmynameagain7774 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sankalp's World or get broken up lol

  • @jacquelynhahn3541
    @jacquelynhahn3541 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    My ex and my relationship for 2.5 years had everything in this video in it. Most toxic relationship ever.I’m so thankful I left when I did.

  • @CherylMuir
    @CherylMuir 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    If you are reading this - you will get through this. You are so loved, supported and protected ❤️

  • @Clarence_Stinson
    @Clarence_Stinson 7 ปีที่แล้ว +532

    You've got to drop some people like a bad habit.

  • @melissagarcia9705
    @melissagarcia9705 5 ปีที่แล้ว +177

    It's so sad...my husband gets ANGRY at drop of a dime!!! I love him but I love myself more. It's EMOTIONAL abuse!!!!! I am 52 years old and I have NEVER been talked to/treated this way. I am writing on this page which tells me...I need to get out now, regardless of my heart. I can't wait for him to love me...he never will...I have to love myself first! Greater is he, that is within me.

    • @Zarasha1
      @Zarasha1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I'm so sorry you are going through that. He would not know what he have until you are gone.

    • @Datgirlsuga
      @Datgirlsuga 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I'm in a similar position. I'm almost 50 and I feel it's getting no better. Can't do this anymore.

    • @melissagarcia9705
      @melissagarcia9705 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Datgirlsuga how are you doing?

    • @tonymontana-uw1bq
      @tonymontana-uw1bq 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Did you leave him?

    • @DT-fg4kw
      @DT-fg4kw 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I promise after leaving and giving some time you will look back and be so happy you did. The freedom of being on your own and reflect on your past abusive relationship and how lucky you are no longer with him. Get a cute lil dog, enjoy life and the right guy will come along once you stop looking for love.

  • @Adam-xs3ng
    @Adam-xs3ng 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    As a man it is sometimes hard to accept you have been abused. Abuse can be subtle, passive aggressive behaviour, devaluing, silent treatment. Over years it can destroy you. My own sense of loyalty kept me trapped until the ultimate betrayal of infidelity. The cherry on the top of the drip feed of abuse. Admitting your marriage failed is hard. You want to do the best to save it, especially with children but if only one of you wants to save it then it's impossible. Instead write down all the things that you want to be in life and work towards them.

  • @GTO.007
    @GTO.007 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thank you for doing this video - it has given me strength and confirm my decision in ending my current relationsh*t!

  • @mdr6294
    @mdr6294 4 ปีที่แล้ว +101

    Respect - if it’s no longer there, it’s done. If there’s lying, it’s done. If there’s no romance, it’s done. If they’re hiding something from you, it’s done. And if there’s no more love, it’s done! Don’t pretend, get out soon as you already have a feeling. Don’t let this take years because it will only repeat itself. Trust me, it happened to me and was married for more than 20 years. And yes! It took me all those years. So don’t be like me, get out sooner. Good luck!

    • @sabnamparvin4041
      @sabnamparvin4041 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Thank you

    • @MaySun74
      @MaySun74 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yes, that is my story too.

    • @helencathleen
      @helencathleen 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      22 years for me. Knew I should leave at 9. Don’t waste your life! You can’t get those years back.

  • @deannaswanson216
    @deannaswanson216 4 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    Abuse. This means emotionally and mentally!!

  • @DanielGarcia-hq9gg
    @DanielGarcia-hq9gg 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Just had to write a comment. I’ve seen a lot of self help videos and such but yours has so much gold. Very informative and actually applies to life vs copy paste schematics of one’s experiences. You go deep into it and dissect it down the core as a human being. Great video. Subscribed!

  • @kimberlyharris7232
    @kimberlyharris7232 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you. I wish people would speak like this more openly in person. ❤ I needed this more than this sentence can say. I have some hope again

  • @VladaldTrumptin
    @VladaldTrumptin 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I think there needs to be something added to the first point - if someone lies and gaslights you for so long to the point where you start to become verbally abusive and lash out out of absolute desperation and anger don’t feel bad or ashamed- just go and DO NOT GIVE THEM THE AMMO AGAINST YOU. This is after multiple failed discussions, conversations, introspection, requests, comprising whatever.
    My ex is a covert narcissist and has had a life time to hone his skills in obfuscation, stonewalling, steamrolling, criticism, manipulation, invalidation, gaslighting, self victimisation. THEY ARE PROFESSIONALS AND YOU WILL NEVER EVER GET THEM TO BE REASONABLE.
    They edit the narrative to suit themselves whenever it suits them. Reality isn’t reality. It will damage you to the point of no longer wanting to live.

    • @ChosenWonton-zs8sq
      @ChosenWonton-zs8sq ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes this is what Im going through too! Crazymaking! He gets me to snap and start screaming and he smiles at me. He makes me feel suicidal and now Ive had enough.

  • @Bunnygirl6346
    @Bunnygirl6346 5 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    I've been watching these types of videos for over a year now and this is still hands down the best advice I've found on TH-cam. Thank you.

    • @2legit2Kwit
      @2legit2Kwit 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bunnygirl6346 agreed!

  • @justinstcroix1338
    @justinstcroix1338 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Thank you!!!! I was holding on to a bad family dynamic that involved many of these things including domestic violence from a step child. I was holding out hope that things would change, but they haven't and it's been done repeatedly over years. This video gave me the perspective to say I have to leave. Thanks Brendon, LOVE your work!!

    • @thomasgrabowski2202
      @thomasgrabowski2202 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same bro Same god I wish I could connect with people with similar stories.....

  • @iamgoddessoflove
    @iamgoddessoflove 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It's better to wait for the right person than to waste your time with the wrong person.
    💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

  • @curtistinemiller1560
    @curtistinemiller1560 5 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    I Love your advice.When a person shows you who "they" are believe them..No amount of hanging in there talking to them giving 3 and 4 chances will help the situation.people have to realize they are brutal harsh evil and just dogmatic when the person has no interest or respect for how you feel what you... think or say . this is a deal breaker.Cut them off leave. These type.of people are souless clueless and need to be left to thier own demise....ASAP.........

    • @christianone6611
      @christianone6611 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Curtistine Miller: I think giving someone a few chances is more for you than the abuser...to be CERTAIN that they are not someone willing to grow, change, and appreciate you. Once you KNOW for sure...let go.

  • @HeroicConcepts
    @HeroicConcepts 7 ปีที่แล้ว +169

    I really appreciate the points you have made in this video. Many people assume abuse and neglect only exists in a romantic relationship. They don’t realize this applies to all relationships, especially in the work place.

    • @yosratag918
      @yosratag918 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Heroic Concepts home. .😩

    • @Lindathemightywitch
      @Lindathemightywitch 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Woah... yeah. Your Workplace should have been more strict with their rules. Should have had a no retaliation Pollcy like mine does.

    • @georginageorgiou2422
      @georginageorgiou2422 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Heroic Concepts abuse can be found everywhere I agreee

    • @amandoguilatco8978
      @amandoguilatco8978 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Annie

    • @joshy7916
      @joshy7916 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Heroic Concepts Message @ Jasperderson on Instagram if you wanna hacking any Instagram, Facebook or Email accounts (except verified accounts). P.S Payment is after you receive proof to confirm account is hacked.

  • @mcmjr405
    @mcmjr405 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It’s not quitting on someone, it’s changing direction on them after realizing that it’s not going to work. If someone is drowning and don’t want to be saved, drowning with them in an effort to save them is downright idiotic. Letting go and saving yourself isn’t selfish, it’s wisdom… it’s also no longer letting them drown, it’s saving yourself and letting them be free to do as they have chosen to.

  • @94SydVicious
    @94SydVicious 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    That first sign...I keep trying to find hope or justication that it's okay because of the love I feel for them but I guess just because I love them so deeply doesn't mean that love is returned...thank you for your straight forward honesty. I have left the relationship, just hurts but I know I don't deserve abuse. No one does.

  • @zippo8285
    @zippo8285 7 ปีที่แล้ว +103

    most of the abuse comes from the people we trust and not from the strangers, hence we keep on looking for the reasons to not leave them. Most of the times our lack of courage feeds on our low self esteem and makes it even more difficult. end of day you need to ask, what did i do to deserve this.

    • @dr.anandambandyopadhyay5901
      @dr.anandambandyopadhyay5901 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      very true...

    • @guesswho5790
      @guesswho5790 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yes, sometimes we are in the wrong and people lash out at us for a reason, but when in an abusive relationship the abuse is a form of dominance of one over the other. I'm not sure of what you mean by "we have to ask ourselves what we did to deserve it". We should ask ourselves what we do that seems to invite abuse, but nobody deserves that kind of treatment.

  • @SpringHWhipple
    @SpringHWhipple 4 ปีที่แล้ว +83

    There are a lot of signs when it's time and you'll know. You want to hold on, you have hope, and sometimes it seems more safe to stay in the relationship. If both of you don't want to be in tree relationship...it's over. If either person doesn't value the feelings, ideas, or emotions of the other... It's over. Trust your instincts. Trust your heart. As hard as it may be, the longer you stay there, you're wasting time. Move on. All the material possessions, all the "things" can be replaced. You'll never get your time back, and if you're not treated with love, respect, and shown true care...time to move on.

    • @exposez
      @exposez 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      thank you so much for your comment!

    • @birdsofparadise4584
      @birdsofparadise4584 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks! I needed to read this!

    • @deeflexstudios
      @deeflexstudios 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      OMG you are so awesome for this statement i just left a bad marriage i was married to my now ex wife with two step kids for only two years i sacrificed and did everything for her and her kids she never had a man that did as much as i did and i thought i would be loved respected and appreciated for it but boy was i wrong i saw all the red flags but still stayed i am not perfect so i try to give everyone the benefit of doubt so i was hoping for change we talk about our differences but went on deaf ears after we acquired a house and new cars and i helped her secure a better job things got worse she was disrespectful abusive she put me down one time we had an argument and she slam the car door on my leg i have never been abusive to a woman and as a physically fit guy she was pushing me to my breaking point i couldn't take it i decided to leave before she made me do something i would regret because one look at me and the cops would not even blink to put me away she fought hard to get the material things in mediation more than she fought to save our marriage at that point i had all the confirmation that i needed i was making the right decision like you said you cant get time wasted back but you can always replace material possessions

    • @janedias1501
      @janedias1501 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Where to go if we don't have anywhere to go...I have been in this neglected relationship for 21 years...he provided me with all materialistic things but no emotional love, no intimacy and no feelings of love for me, infact he flirts wd younger girls. Plz advice

    • @SpringHWhipple
      @SpringHWhipple 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@janedias1501 my biggest fear, coming from being homeless for years as a teen and young adult was ending up that way as an adult. I've got no family to fall back on but, there are resources in your area. Is it going to be comfortable? Likely not. You may need ti let go of the material things, too. I made a decision. I was done. I'm moving into a STUDIO apartment that's 1/6th the size of our home because it's all I can afford right now and there are waiting lists for the majority of apartments. Just like you plan for a marriage or plan to buy a house, plan your separation. Put whatever money aside that you can. TRUST IN YOURSELF that you can and must do this. You're strong enough, you have everything you need inside you to survive through the initial struggle. But you can create the life and have the love you deserve if you'd allow yourself to let go of what you know, and grab hold of your next journey. Good luck, I believe in you! Sending you hugs and kindness.

  • @sazhidasamadi
    @sazhidasamadi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I left my husband after I found out of his cheating. He was abusive verbally and physically, I married a narcissistic person who never had intentions to look after his wife. Then one year later, I met another man and I thought we can build beautiful relationship. But again, I was wrong. This man also started disrespecting me after I have invested my time and energy. I felt unappreciated and he was acting like a teenager, showing me all his tantrums, draining me mentally. He told me he wants his single life back and I am restricting his freedom. He thinks that the grass is greener on the other side without watering his own grass. Well, I accepted his decision and I walked away...but I will always have my Faith. I wish everyone to find the true Love and be loved and be respected!
    God bless 🙏🙌💕

  • @NadaAlawadhi
    @NadaAlawadhi 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I had a huge friendship with someone and they made me feel safe and understood. I have given them my whole self. Spent hours talking, sharing. I trusted that they knew me. And then they started to confront me just because I got busy. Blaming me. Telling me I destroyed our friendship.
    Their words hurt me and pushing me away. And they get mad that I’m being distant.
    It took one full year for it to come to an end. We didn’t even end it on good terms. And I had to block them because I couldn’t give them the opportunity to spit more blame at me.

  • @DanielaCunhaEFT
    @DanielaCunhaEFT 7 ปีที่แล้ว +227

    I wish I heard this two years ago. But I am very glad I left my bad marriage one year go. Thank You

    • @fireflypixi
      @fireflypixi 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ditto!

    • @SuperAdobeFlash
      @SuperAdobeFlash 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Wishing you all the best in the future .

    • @anpe6524
      @anpe6524 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Yes Victoria, as long as is with a person that brings value & love to your life. Marriage is a social formality in order to become a teamwork in finances, in creating goals as a couple, starting a family etc... Getting married won't make the love better or bigger, it will simply organize the relationship so both of you can feel safe & secure about the commitment you are both making with each other in a long term - formal relationship that will require a lot of self-love and LOVE in order to deal with all the challenges a commitment like that brings.

    • @GodsChildrenOnEarth
      @GodsChildrenOnEarth 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I wish I knew this 10 years ago. My ex did all 5 (Mental, emotional, and Physical Abuse, Failed Discussions, Neglect [me and the kids...still neglects the kids], Repeated Lies, No Appreciation). Sadly it took for my ex to strang me and nearly killed me in order for me to wake up and leave.

    • @hichemhechmi5318
      @hichemhechmi5318 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Daniela Cunha are you free now ??are you open to new relationship?

  • @resident9011
    @resident9011 5 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    every word brother I went and bought a camper and im fleeing into life away from my husband and my entire family I leave in the morning I don't even know where im going and don't care I just know when I drive away never to be seen again my soul and conscious are clean praise God in Jesus name , Hallelujah

    • @manichairdo6346
      @manichairdo6346 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      How far are you on your journey? Take care.

    • @calgal5752
      @calgal5752 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      resident9011 I want to do the same....just take my 2 chihuahuas and go! I wish you the best, stay safe out there sister.

    • @marypharris7629
      @marypharris7629 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sis, I hope you the best!

  • @AnneWilkynson
    @AnneWilkynson 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is 4 years after this came out, it just showed up in my feed....Well, it's EXACTLY what I needed, I just ghosted a long term boyfriend, who I love fiercely, for a lot of these reasons, some don't apply, but enough does. You always remember the good times, you forget the bad and start 2nd guessing the decision...I sooo needed to hear this...thank you Universe 💕☮

  • @jvd2468
    @jvd2468 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thank you. This is exactly what I needed right now. I just confronted a good friend of over 25 years who has been abusing me and disrespecting me for a long time, and I finally said no more. I'm afraid that I won't be hearing from him for a very long time, if ever. But I can no longer allow myself to be abused by this toxic person and I am out. Thank you again, and keep up the good work!

    • @tball5677
      @tball5677 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Just did the same with a friend that was like a brother of 30 years. Some people just wallow in hate and anger. Best to cut that poison out of your life.

  • @dianasuzane4378
    @dianasuzane4378 4 ปีที่แล้ว +142

    My boyfriend beg me to stay. But too many times he hurt my feelings. I can't forgive him anymore. There were no cheating or physical abuse, because I thought if it's cheating/physical abuse r unacceptable but other stuffs also can come to a point of unacceptable.

    • @sweetsweetersweetest3988
      @sweetsweetersweetest3988 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Same..

    • @ibrahimhamada5751
      @ibrahimhamada5751 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same

    • @dianasuzane4378
      @dianasuzane4378 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Aditi Kumari great riteeee

    • @karinasilva2337
      @karinasilva2337 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same

    • @k80smile
      @k80smile 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Before I met my date in person, for about a month I took time to get to know him. After some time I realised everytime we converse, he often brought me down, made me question my values. I also realised, when I needed him to be emotionally supportive, he went 'missing'/go quiet. Then I realised that he doesn't want to be emotionally present. He picked on my choice of friends who have been around with me 1-2 decades before he came along. That's when I decided, I'm not going out with this narcissist.

  • @angelablackthorne3026
    @angelablackthorne3026 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Happiness is not the mere absence of abuse. You deserve a life atmosphere of happiness and joy.

    • @oscarwilliamson1264
      @oscarwilliamson1264 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Angela Blackthorne, you look stunning 🌹 🌹🌷 🌷🌷🌺 🌺

    • @angelablackthorne3026
      @angelablackthorne3026 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Oscar Williamson Thank you

    • @oscarwilliamson1264
      @oscarwilliamson1264 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@angelablackthorne3026 you are welcome my dearest 🌹 🌹🌷 🌷🥀🌹 🌹🥀🌺.I'm Oscar Williamson from Alabama,Usa.You?

  • @HeyNoProblem
    @HeyNoProblem 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    She has 2 domestic violence charges.. I stuck in there, but yeah, I just need to go now... Im a sucker for feeling " loved " when shes sober... Thank you this was very insightful.

  • @delphinenyirahabimanam.d.8510
    @delphinenyirahabimanam.d.8510 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This guy is just AWESOME! The best relationship advice I've had so far. I love it when he says THE WORLD IS FULL OF GREAT PEOPLE.

    • @kabirsalman151
      @kabirsalman151 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hello everyone,my name is KAB. I was able to hack my spouse phone remotely and gained access to all her texts and calls with the help of BESTAPPSHACKERS@GMAIL.COM or text him on WhatsApp ‪+1 (602) 609‑4730‬, he is reliable and if you require his services tell him I referred you. I trust him.💯✅..........

  • @karenjordan3011
    @karenjordan3011 5 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    Wow, this video was like a window into my marriage! Every bullet that Brendon reviewed was what I had faced. It was that false sense of loyalty that kept me hooked into a bad marriage and that hope that he would change for the kids that made me feel guilty for feeling trapped and overwhelmed.

    • @christianpulisic7784
      @christianpulisic7784 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Karen Jordan,You are absolutely gorgeous 🌹🌹🌺🌺🌹,you don't deserve to be with a narc 😈!!

    • @salmaumar5750
      @salmaumar5750 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same here. Don't even know what to do

  • @sagenosnibor9173
    @sagenosnibor9173 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    So happy to know i did the right thing and LET GO. Nothing worth it is ever easy. Dont let fear keep you in your prison, set yourselves free people!
    GOD BLESS

  • @rfernandez1648
    @rfernandez1648 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I have been in a 2.5 year relationship in which a simple difference of opinion brings on a barrage of insults, yelling, a down right mental and emotional abuse. I finally decided to move on because I found myself yelling to keep up with her. The stress is felt like a tumor on my back. Talking about it is impossible the mere insinuation that I don’t like something about her would turn into a yelling session

    • @user-yd6th5ch5k
      @user-yd6th5ch5k 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Are you open to hearing your own flaws and problems?

  • @nicolerice8881
    @nicolerice8881 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I knew this but I needed to hear it from someone else. Thank you ! God bless everyone ! I pray everyone whom sees this finds true happiness and true love.🙏🏼❤️

    • @brennycotter6634
      @brennycotter6634 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hey there, how are you doing, I know how it feels to get heartbroken

    • @brennycotter6634
      @brennycotter6634 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      If you need hlp, I know of someone who can help you fix your broken relationship reunite with your soulmate including saving your marriage from divorce

    • @brennycotter6634
      @brennycotter6634 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      *W ha ts A pp* right away for help

    • @brennycotter6634
      @brennycotter6634 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      ±19515998468⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works i can't believe i am with my lover back after many years of break-up.,...

  • @FishRFrenzNotFood
    @FishRFrenzNotFood 6 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    I think the problem is some of us don't know if we are being abused or not. For those who grew up in dysfunctional families usually accept that kind of abuse later on in life.
    I love the quote from Perks of Being A Wallflower. We accept the love we think we deserve.

  • @blossom6235
    @blossom6235 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    my ex used me as a doormat too, long story short, karma paid him a visit and gave him a wife that is just like him well lets just say what goes around came right back around as for me i am very happy now living a good healthy life and thank God everyday for my life

  • @Iamluckygirl1111
    @Iamluckygirl1111 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    “ You can’t make good deal with bad people.”
    -Warren Buffet
    Exit & abundance will follow you.
    Ladies , you are loved & appreciated by high quality people. So, take charge : be the CEO of your life. Eliminate, demote or promote people from your space & energies.
    Much love to all 😘
    Stay blessed ❣️

  • @Pammiej.journals87
    @Pammiej.journals87 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I shared this with my DV group for women. Part of it was phenomenal and one area, was of concern to a few of them. They felt sad that they are working to save their marriage even though they both used domestic violence behaviors. Brendon's direct way was almost too crushing, even though as a person I agree. When we work with victims of DV, it is really difficult for them to leave. I appreciate his choice in using after 1-2 times of physical abuse or verbal abuse, get out, and I agree with that. But once someone is entrenched in a domestic violence relationship, it is MOST dangerous for a victim to leave. Especially the first 30 days. So, be mindful in how you present this to women victims as well as men who are victims. The danger is real. I will continue to show this to my groups, because you lay it out there in a no fuss way and it does generate conversation about what leaving looks like as well as helps them see what they might of added to the problem if anything before the relationship was deemed abusive.