When I left him, after 5 years, I was devastated! I missed him so much, but I didn't miss the abuse. Does that make sense? I realized I missed our 1st year and the relationship in general. I wanted to call him, but I didn't. I went into Therapy, read books, and started seeing new friends. I will never forget him, but I am over him. It's been over 11 years. I survived the narc, thank God! Great topic!
There are cases when there is real physical and/or emotional abuse as well as cases where there is no abuse but the girlfriend or wife creates a story to justify why they left when the real reason was that there was nothing wrong...they simply monkey branched. It's disgusting. There are others who lie about their feelings and misrepresent things early on just to use the guy as a temporary vacation. That's what wives who cheat on their husbands usually do. Once the marriage starts improving, they ditch the person that they used for narcissistic feed like trash.
You miss the good moment.. not the person you just have to separate it...the good moment is fun happy ect as the person is abuse,narc.. etc. Hope you'll find your love soon.
The anxiety shocks are incredible. Sudden feeling of weakness. Only time will see that off, nothing else. I found that really digging in to whether the relationship was strong enough to go forward and had the right set up to build a future helped. My ex had a lot of issues which I to easily turned an eye to because your in the comfort zone.
Why is it when you know that they are not good for you, you still crave for them badly? There are recurring thoughts what if they change for another person and thats making me more depressed.
The thing is, and please believe me, they NEVER change. Not really. Sure they're going to love bomb someone else for a bit...but the true colors always come out eventually. I wish you healing and peace of mind.
I want this pain to end. It's been almost 2 months since she pulled away. We lived together for 2 years. I feel like my entire world is just upside down. Nothing seems to make me happy anymore. I miss how things were. Miss going to sleep & waking up to her in the morning. Miss her voice & her touch. Sleeping at night is the only time my mind has a break from this. I miss my girlfriend, she was my best friend
I certainly understand. In my past, I lived with a partner two years. She suddenly left, moved out while I was out. I was devastated. I wanted to commit suicide. Really. I sought help. Got sober. Began to heal. Eventually evolved and grew in relationships. Looking back, I realize the situation was for the best. I learned to be honest to myself and others what I wanted. I found love again. Be faithful to what you really want, not that for which you will settle.
I feel ya pain bro keep ya head up that’s half the battle, the other half is study of some sort exercise n dedication to a cause greater then your self or anyone one human a cause that’s beneficent to us fellow man/woman child n remember you are Gods child if he ceased to think about you for one moment bro you would cease to exist so you take the charge of dominion that God gave and you go out there and focus on leaving this place a better place then you left it while learning everything you could along the way 👌🏾 💜 now go get ya mojo back bro
Breakups can be a blessing in disguise! It's not always meant for makeup, but rather it ends in order for you to wake up! So instead of trying to fix something that is broken, start over to create something that you will attract better. 💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
I wish I could have seen this a few years ago. My ex dropped a bomb on me, pushing for a separation while I was already struggling with depression. I found myself alone with depressions… just as lock-down started. It was awful. Not only did I no longer live at home, with my family, but lock-down meant I could no longer see people at work, visit friends, family… I was more alone than I could have ever imagined and the depression made everything 1000x harder to deal with. My mind wanted to shut down and it took everything I had to keep going. Nothing was familiar. Nobody was familiar. The only consistent contact I had was with my therapist, who was extremely helpful. I met my partner along the way, and she restored faith in myself and helped me get through it by seeing and loving me as I am, as I love her as she is. In the end it worked out, but it was by far the darkest period of my life. Not because I wanted her back, but because leaving meant everything changed, all at once, and I was alone.
Why do they abandon you in your time of need that happened to me and all wanted was the support that give her when she was down and then after all the horrible things they say and do to you and they have the balls to ask you to be friends fuck that !!!
One of my greatest decisions in my life was to divorce my former cheating husband. It was hurt at beginning but I'm grateful that I have more freedom and more happiness than ever.
I’ve been single now for a little over 2 years. My ex was a narcissist and was able to find a new boyfriend. Meanwhile I’m still single and can’t find a new girlfriend. Dating in the 21st century is horrible!
@Naomi Lane OK thanks. One things for sure is I don’t want my ex back. She was a horrible, rotten narcissist. I just wish it was easier meeting people in this generation.
No forgiving. What my ex did is unforgivable, it is as bad as murder in my opinion, the destruction of a family with small children to leave me for a high school crush from 25 years ago. Sorry, but to hell with forgiving. I can move on but I don't need to and won't forgive.
After 24 years together, my husband walked away without a word and hid from me. We had just bought a house and I was not working. MLC? The pain is both physical & emotional. Therapy does not help nor does medication. He just gave up on me and discarded me.
It's not him it's you , if you want to come out fast watch learn about lord Krishna stories it opens your mind of living . You will become great. Hear what lord Krishna said what is life what is love .
After 9 years she locked me out, very cold and cruel. I left her voice messages in pain but she never responded and than changed her number. I could only go to pick up my stuff. 5 weeks later my system is totally shocked. Barely slept for 2 weeks. Lately Im not sleeping well and im scared and worried.
No one can set anyone free from depression. There is only one cure and that is JESUS CHRIST. I once was into depression and every second of my life i used to confess that ‘i want to die’. I tried to suicide 3 times. Nothing happened. I tried drugs and everything. Then one day i hold bible in my hand and i start reading it everyday. Finally a day came when GOD talked to me through his word. John 16. He said i will give you eternal joy and no one can rob you of that joy that day i feel the power of the HOLY SPIRIT. All my depression and pain was all gone. Now i am free from past 9 months. All glory to JESUS
I was with somebody 14 years. I did not think them not being in my life would've affected me as much as it did but oh my God, I never felt such pain in my heart once we broke up. I couldn't sleep , eat, or do anything. I was literally a walking zombie for the first couple of weeks. Here I am a month later and my sleep schedule is just starting to get back to normal. The end of the relationship, our ability to communicate died and things just turned into an argument every other conversation. She broke up with me in a text and blocked me everywhere. Called me selfish etc ...just a messed up situation. I haven't heard from her in almost a month but again , even though we had our issues , I never wanted to lose her and had no idea I was going to suffer so much in her absence.
I'm a similar situation to you, but mine was 7 years. I just want to know how to suddenly stop thinking of someone who you've thought about every day for those years. I'm blocked to, he's met someone else, 3 months now, and evey morning my first thoughts are my breakup, and him moving on, and me still in turmoil.
@@leahnewitt8702 As hard as it is, you have to get control of those morning thoughts. Try to steer your mind to something else. I'm going through the same thing. 10 years, he found a girl half our age. He got one try, but started sneaking around several months later. I still had to drive him out a mere month ago and now he's hinting he wants to come back. He's miserable and regrets. Tried to kiss me the other night, but pretends he didn't mean anything by it. Since we own the house I'm in, he leaves stuff here to have excuses to pop in. Tough situation. He admits he's still w/ her, even though he says it's not better than being alone, because she wasn't the dream girl he thought she'd be, just constant drama and fights. At least he makes it real easy to not go back to. I know he'd just toy w/ me some more. Brace yourself, in case your ex starts that crap too.
I feel you're the 1st guy I've heard ever admit to or shared his break up pain. Kudos to you for opening up. Big step for mankind 😊 I hope your heart heals or has already! ❤
I know how you feel. We had to break up 2 years and I still think of her every day. Moving on slowly and not checking on her anymore or it hurts more. One day we will be free of the pain if not of the thoughts.
I've just spent the last two days crying. I loved and still love him so much. He was a Narc and abused my both physically and emotionally, but, that trauma bond is still so strong. I want him back. Idk what to do anymore. I really, really don't.
Help other people, do projects for yourself....and u must learn to turn off your thoughts that keep flooding your head. Eventually, they diminish, and stop. It took me 2 years.....
Thank you Stephanie, I so needed to hear this today.....I'm 5 months in to the ending of an 18 year relationship. My heart is broken. Most of the time I'm getting on ok and making progress but today I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I don't feel I'll ever get through this, but you're giving me hope that I will, it's just going to take time.......😢
My ex left me for his ex, but reading your post makes me realize that you’re so much stronger than me. I hope you get through this okay. Seek therapy, friends, and family. Self-love is important.
I hope you’re doing ok! It does just take time. I’m nearly a year out from ending my 4 year relationship. She moved on to someone else just a couple months after, which compounded the hurt even more. This year has been unbelievably hard and although I still have my low moments, I’m in such a better place than I was. You move on an upwards trajectory as time goes on, but there’s still plenty of lows along the way. It’s natural. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel your feelings. Just try not to get stuck in rumination. It’s frustrating that time is the healer when you just want to be healed straight away, but it’s a journey worth doing. Heartbreak is the absolute worst, but you’re strong enough to get through it.
It feels like a different pain when you realize that it was your fault things didn’t work out. Whoever she chooses to be hers should feel lucky. It won’t be me and that hurts.
Been going through a rough one recently. Hit me like a truck outta nowhere. Slowly ive seen the positives in the outcome. But with that, i feel stuck ina depression, especially seeing her move on as if were nothing. Thank you for this video, hopefully in time i can get out this mess in my head.
Separation is hard but we have to stay strong more often that not, the process is slow but you are doing what is right, acceptance is the hardest for me…. After 2 years ….. but listening to these podcasts has helped me incredibly much.
So true, we got to look within ourselves and realize this to shall pass, it'll only make us stronger, 1day at a time been helping me, he was the only person I'd call and talk to but know I don't have that😢 but I know I'm going to be okay. May God bless and keep u🙏💗👍💪were here for a reason😊
They don't move on as though it was nothing but they do withdraw from you well before they actually pull the trigger. She will still think about you and may even reach out to you at some point. Treat it as a closed chapter but not the book
I went through a very bad depression after my break-up with my fiance. I was 52 and a widow. I was devastated and not just because I still lived him. But also, I felt like I might never get another chance at love. Sadly, I was right..that was 20 years ago, and, I never met anyone else. He was the second love of my life; he's passed now, God rest him. Thank God it wasn't a huge, complicated marital dissolution of many years. I'd already suffered through the loss of my husband. 💔
You are not only beautiful Stephanie, but such a beautiful person inside. Thank you for sharing your own story that lead you to creating this channel. I have been watching your videos for several months now and they have been so helpful to me, thank you!
This video is really helpful, thank you so much. I'm almost 2 months out of a narcissistic breakup. Noticing I'm starting to sleep better now. I was barely able to sleep before. Starting to see a sliver of light in the healing process.
This video… pulled at my heart. I’ve been watching your videos for a couple months now. I’m in weekly trauma counseling and have been saving and planning to leave my narc husband. I’m 41 years old and have a 2 1/2 year old son named Ryan. I applied for an apartment yesterday and am praying I will be able to use the tools I’m learning thru your videos and therapy to be strong when I serve my husband the divorce papers. He has no clue. He’s extremely controlling and unhealthy for me and our son. I’m a people pleaser so this goes against everything in me. He’s trained me over the last 10 years to always prove where I am, who I’m with, what I’m doing.. right down to my thoughts. So I’m terrified. I have horrible anxiety and depression from the constant eggshells. But your videos give me faith. If I get approved for this apartment I contact my attorney I have ready for when I’m ready. I’m so scared yet so so excited. Thank you for helping people that you don’t even know. From small town Amy here 🙂❤️
Stephanie, first I want to thank you so very much for all that you've taught us in this video! I had saved it on my phone to listen to it at a little later date. I have been listening to your other videos and a few other people about the narcissistic person. This video touched on depression and I have been trying to tell myself that I was getting better and over an 18 year marriage. My husband left me July of 2021 and did not tell me, I had to find out by a clerk at the drugstore who said she saw my husband earlier that morning. I was in shock and disbelief as he was supposed to be in another town for some weeks at a new job. So he was discovered. I was devastated, shocked and my heart was ripped apart. Betrayal and everything you've mentioned. It has been traumatic emotionally. I've had some people tell me that I should be getting over it soon as he was a liar, cheat, deceiver and manipulator. Now I didn't see this right away, actually for years and then little things started to be shown. For the past month I've been trying to straighten things out in my head about our relationship, and most the time I'm just going through motions. I do want to say that I really could not have made it if it wasn't for my faith in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He's got me through and he is carrying me through. As a Christian, I'm no less human than anyone else and we can fall apart too. But we have the Lord Jesus to lean on. Your video is extremely helpful and I am going to save it, because there will be times I need to listen to it again. But most of my motivation to keep moving is knowing that I have the Lord on my side and I am going to make it!
After my divorce my son 23, just decided to be with his dad. That happended because my ex used ti gave him gifts since he was 7, etc. I'm devastated trying to continue. It's hard. You help me a lot. Thank you.
Thanks Stephanie, it's just good to know that someone went through an incredible amount of pain and came out the other end. I think a big part of it is accepting it's over so you can move forward, it's the last thing you want to do at the time but it's the only thing that will let you get on with your life.
Thank you Stephanie. I didn’t realize you had been through a lot and you were really coaching from first hand experience. You’re such an amazingly strong and beautiful person. I like your lessons 💖
This video is also applicable to people who had a confusing “situationship”- Where you gave them your everything. And you received next to nothing in return.
My husband left me after 40 years of marriage for his bosses young daughter. It has been 1 1/2 years and I was feeling better in the past 6 months but now I am full of anger and rage. He left and I haven't seen him since. Our divorce was over Skype because of COVID and I feel like I need closure. I am being eaten alive with anger
Thanks Stephanie for this video, it hit home. I may have given a comment on you other videos or maybe another one, but I'm kind of stuck in ways, I'm realizing my wife Is a narcissist even though she keeps calling me one. Been married for 42 years and live separately. I want a divorce but It breaks my heart to see her start over on her own after I took care of her so long financially. But I am living in 100 percent depression. Like you mentioned I hope to not see tomorrow when I go to bed. But I refuse to let her hang. Of course 42 years I can write a book here but I'll spare you. I'm very confused, I seen 5 different therapist and it seems they don't care or they want give me pills. I don't have the funds to keep paying for false opinions. I guess I'm just wondering what to do . Thanks again for your your videos.
I’m in a very similar situation, women will look for any excuse to leave a relationship or marriage, even a “Christian” wife. Commitment and love means absolutely nothing bc their feelings change constantly but whatever the situation is and you’re on your own, you have to keep growing and moving forward and not let that person break you.
Not true. Here a very loyal woman, I just want to find stable love. I thought I had it and he dumped me again. Too many men has fear of commitment. My now ex boyfriend love me deeply, I know it, but he wanted to feel free again. So he left me two days ago. I am so, so sad. This is not a woman or man situation. What I know for sure is that, next time, when I feel ready to date again, I'll be so clear about wanting someone who is not afraid of commitment.
@@mmcuser It is true whether you believe it or not. Fear of commitment is not gender specific, but there could be a lot of reasons why someone does not commit.
How do you deal with knowing the person who you thought loved your for years was just manipulating you for their benefit and broke up the relationship to be with someone they appear to truly love? 3 years down the drain in a LDR where despite being so attentive and involved in the relationship, I was kept a secret, emotionally cheated and subsequently left for another whom they ended marrying in just one year? I feel like trash even all my accomplishments and ambitions...
I had a break up after 5 years on living together. And até that time I was felling so unhappy that I began a new relationaship because I thought that I deserved to be happy again. Some time before I realize that it was a mistake because I miss my husban. And I become more depress that ever. Now I pregnant, that's the only good thing. What to think when we realize that we make so big mistake. Sometimes I don't know what to think about my self. Do you have some advice? Thank's
I feel like either I've lived a lie, and I woke up now or it was all true and this is a lie what I'm getting to know everyday about narcissism, it's a total mindfuck.. and worst nightmare. But whatever happens I'm going to stick to no contact method 👿 it's like I'm feeling I'm losing my mind and also getting stronger day by day, see I can't even explain 🥴
I am sorry, if this will sound inapproproate, but you give certain neurodivergent vibes (my bet would be on ADHD, but that's not th eonly option), which should mean your emotions are more intense, MUCH longer lasting and breakup hurts more, than in the case of neurotypicla (so called "normal") people. Thus I'm not sure your explanation matches experienes of majority.
I’m going through the darkest moment of my life, and really about to give up. Not the way I wanted but it’s getting to the point where I have to just go.
It’s been 2 months since I left him. (Well the police escorted him out) He was a true narcissist. He broke me. I’m struggling so much to forget him. He was like a drug. An unhealthy drug. I hate feeling like this as he’s still controlling me. I cry all the time 🥲🥲
Geez you didn’t even mention repairing the relationship how is that for healing the ❤ so many people now just give up so easy remember nothing good comes easy especially relationships! So people please stop relating your relationships to Hallmark movies 😊
I know the why and I knew it would happen eventually so now that it has, I just can't seem to except it. I keep saying to myself there is no hope and I will never be with that person again. I just can't seem to get past excepting it. I am doing my best to self help with meditation and it does help but I still suffer every day. I know this too shall pass but it is such an open wound.
those Pods... for assisted suicide, i think they have it in swiss and australia that is a wonderful option, its like gently falling asleep and never wake up but the issue is that its hard to get approval to use it... only terminal illness and situations like that. ... my heart is broke in thousand pieces ... life is useless , im no interested in more or less or anything at all few minutes in the pod and all is done!
Wow, you’re inside my head hearing my thoughts. Not only did I judge myself for still having feelings, my friends’ attitudes were the same in that they judged me. They said “good riddance” after a few days. I wasn’t there yet. I needed to talk, but they didn’t want to hear it. Even the therapist I started seeing 3 weeks after said get over it. I’m mostly healed, but the information in your video is still very helpful.
@@fml5910never easy, right? He broke up with me very unexpectedly. I try to remember that life always works out the way it’s supposed to for me and for others even when I don’t understand and it hurts.
@@fml5910 you already realize that she’s not your person nor is she partner material for you. Maybe it’s time to move on and make room in your life for a real partner.
I'm in an abusive relationship now and have been for 12 years. It's caused severe agoraphobia that presents itself as monophobia. I still cannot find any material on this because I can't find anyone who has gone through it personally. It's so much deeper than exposure therapy. Before this relationship I was extremely independent and confident in myself. I haven't been physically alone in almost ten years and if I am or think I am a will have a full blown panic attack. Like I'm not just scared of it I am unable to. Please, PLEASE if you can research this from a professional standpoint so many of us would appreciate it severely! If anyone has any info please pass it along!
So yeah... 27 years of marriage ending because of toxic narratives, triangulation of children and the killer, I was told getting high on a daily basis was worth more than actually working on the marriage... so yeah... You never forget the look on someone's face when they tell you getting high is more important than you... so yeah An affair and some divorce papers served soon after I'm here... So yeah... I know a new life and better days ahead! My best days are still ahead of me! So yeah!
Wow.. I talk about this exact same thing on my youtube channel. You can check it out to help you if you’re struggling with depression after a break up.
I am going thru this as I hear this so much needed message. My issue at hand is also trying to work two jobs to survive as I go thru these things/divorce. The understanding of needing to take off for courts, depression, police reports etc has taken a toll on not only me but my job. How do I explain this to them when most of the time they don’t understand why I am going thru and needing to take time off when I am overwhelmed and exhausted. How do I manage all of this at times it doesn’t help my depression yet I need to take time off to deal with things and my mental health. 😢
My issue is that I became depressed because of the toxic environment. He became so abusive I dreaded every interaction with him. He was constantly putting me down & devaluing me. Now that I left, my depression has continued because we’re broken up & im now a single mom trying to figure out what’s next for my life. 14 years, our home, our family, the life I knew, GONE!
The man I love left me 2 weeks ago and I am broken. I went through emotional and verbal abuse and I am trying to break away from the trauma bonding I was in. I still love him but I cannot be with him as he left and ended it because he felt I was not enough. I am trying very, very hard to cope with the hurt and the pain of missing him and still loving him but I am also bent on moving on. He has ADHD and I tried so hard to deal with it because I love him...but he felt that all the love, care and support I gave him was not enough. I worry about him everyday but life has to go on and I have to find my own way...despite the love...despite the pain. I know I will be okay...in time. Thank you for this video.
I’ve had depression and anxiety since 19. I have had many health issues my whole adult life and 12 years ago I got sick with a multitude of illnesses. One year ago my husband of almost 20 years walked out. I was completely shocked. So we’re our kids and everyone else that knows us. He is five years younger than me, I’m 47, and everything speaks to a mid life crisis, and he’s become someone I don’t Know. We were still physical and sexting until November-and my days are one minute at a time. I have a therapist and some great support but I almost never talk to his family of whom I have always been so close. No one from his family including him checks on me. It’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to endure and every day I fight the depression. I’m in the nasty stages of financial part of divorce still sitting here wishing I could understand wtf happened. It’s not a fun time in my life. My son just moved several states away for a job at 20, he used to be four hour drive. He won’t be coming home again here and my daughter just graduated high school and leaves for college in two months. The layers of grief hurt and I can’t see past the pain right now. I need every bit of self help and I appreciate these videos.
I was just transitional target, she is in stable marriage for years now, stable marriage but with me it was 5.5 years of just hoovering and after that coldness and discard... mine self-worth is destroyed, I was just used and someone is good enough for marriage and normal life..., how to resolve this past ?
Everything you said made sense... I've looked at why the change happened and I'm at fault. Researching the whys, I've a unconscious trauma with intamacy which resulted in hurting my partner.. understanding the self sabotaging behaviour I just want to reach out and fix things... everytime I do the rejection of no contact is overwhelming. Like I'm not a bad guy , but feel so guilty, completely in the sad phase .... I've considered suicide, however I'm starting to pull myself up... the only way if up right. I know I'm good enough... I know I need to be open and honest with being vulnerable. A huge part of me knows I need to be alone and heal, however I really want my partner to walk the path with me...
@Naomi Lane I've reached out twice and she doesn't reply so I just have to be respectful and let her go.. Trust the universe has something else in mind for me. I was stuck for weeks hoping she would reach out. It wasn't healthy
After the break my depression only lasted two years it wasn’t easy to let it go, and it was my first break up so it wasn’t easy for me to let things go and I was really in love with my ex but you know things happens after the break up I kind of changed a lot , I started treating others in a mean way I haven’t been happy I feel dead in the inside I don’t even remember how to ask a girl out I feel like I lost part of myself the day of the break up, in the break up there was no argument between me and my ex girlfriend but we just talked on the phone just decided to break up with me just because of her depression and me walking out without getting any answer why she was feeling that way but that’s all in the past
So sorry u r hurting, it's always worse in a break up when we there is no closure. l hope u will move forward and be happy again. Don't give up.look after yourself. Hope you find peace and happiness in the future, u will .... Stay strong. Blessings to u.🕊️🦋🌈👍
Its been 2 months since she left me after living together and getting attached i felt my soul left me when she left and I haven’t been able to catch myself…I constantly think about her and i dont feel no joy in anything anymore
Am so sorry you had to go through that I to had terrible experience with my soon to be ex she cheated on me and then left me for the woman she was cheating with and started a new life with that person and left the kids and I in the dust in a matter of 7months
After 14 years relationship he told me today that it's over because he has another woman. I need to move out and leave everything. I'll have to leave my 2 dogs. One dog got diagnosed with cancer last week and I'm going to have to walk away on that. I'm gonna have to downgrade from living in this nice house to moving into small apartment because I'm financially insecure. The guy said he doesn't love me anymore. My whole world changed today and I'm beyond heartbroken especially for the dogs. I feel like I'm gonna die of pain.
Can you take your dog? I left a marriage of 38 yrs with nothing but a few items and I took one dog, we had 2. He also had cancer, a tumor but is doing better. It is very hard leaving, maybe you can stay with family or a Friend. I'm wishing you the best of luck. Take care of you!
@ Julie I’m so sorry you’re going through this. When they cut off the emotion they’re down right cold and cruel. See if there’s anyway to take your dog. I know there’s government assistance for animal insurance. Like the other commenter said check with family and friends if you can stay with them until you’re on your feet. Maybe get a room just in the mean time. Your peace is more important than anything. Sending you light and love..
@@lindas8266 the thing is I don't have any family. They live in Europe. I don't have friends either because I was isolated in this relationship. So I'm gonna have to reconstruct my life from scratch at 42 years old. I have nothing. I can't take dog because I'll never provide such a good living for them as they have it with him. I'll move to small apartment and will work long shifts so it's not fair to dogs to take away what they have now. Here they have backyard, ex works from home so they never alone. Plus he is very good in taking care of them so I know they will be safe. I also don't want to separate them as they grew up together from 3mo of age. Now they are 5 years old. I'm trying not to be selfish when it comes to dogs I do it out of love for them. I don't have kids so they are like my babies. I'm so afraid what's coming next for me. I hope I can make it work for myself and maybe one day meet someone and have great relationship. I was working on myself so much in a past year and I feel like I should somehow pull through this. But it's still scary and it hurts. I still live in the same house because I need to safe money to move out and I have to see him going out with that girl and everything. He's so happy and my heart is screaming in pain. It's not fair. I'm trying to keep my sanity. I never thought I'll end up in situation like this.
@@kysssims8764 thank you! I can't take dogs because I don't have financial capabilities to support them and I'll live in small apartment and they are big 70lb labs. Here they have good life but if I take them they will lose this good life. They have backyard, ex works from home so they nvr alone, he takes good care of them. I love them so much but I have to put them first and not be selfish I got to do what's best for them. Here they are safe. I can't provide this lifestyle for them. And for myself I don't have any family. And no friends because I was isolated in this relationship. I will have to literally make a new life for myself from scratch and I'm 42 years old. I don't want to date at this age I always thought I'd already have a family and stability by this age but instead I have absolutely nothing now. Im left with nothing. And I have to watch how he's going on dates w that woman and how excited and happy he got while my heart is broken. I have to see all of this because I'm still in the same house because I can't afford to move out yet I need more money. I never thought in a million years that this is how my life be. How am I supposed to move in and live in a small cheap and empty apartment where nobody is waiting for me to come back to. And he moved on already. He has all figured out. He makes 6figure salary he never struggles and now he got this new girlfriend and throws away 14 years that we had together. How am I supposed to leave if this he, house, dogs, garden was my whole life. Im left with absolutely nothing. I am trying to focus but it's hard when pain takes over it's too much.
Cry out to God. He never leaves us. He's always there. You're not alone. My narc husband snuck out & moved when I was out of town. After 19 yrs marraige together. Long story, I'm alone but not alone too. But God is there. Find a local church.. look for support groups.
My ex blindsided me with the breakup when I was taking care after my suicidal child and finished the marriage over the phone. I ended up homeless, I was jobless, I ended up broke, he discarded me like I was a piece of trash. Then he blocked me on social media and everywhere else pretending that I did something vindictive and has been changing the narrative of what happened with friends. I served him with the divorce papers and of course he counterclaimed, he thinks that he can get away from paying any child support etc.
When I left him, after 5 years, I was devastated! I missed him so much, but I didn't miss the abuse. Does that make sense? I realized I missed our 1st year and the relationship in general. I wanted to call him, but I didn't. I went into Therapy, read books, and started seeing new friends. I will never forget him, but I am over him. It's been over 11 years. I survived the narc, thank God! Great topic!
There are cases when there is real physical and/or emotional abuse as well as cases where there is no abuse but the girlfriend or wife creates a story to justify why they left when the real reason was that there was nothing wrong...they simply monkey branched. It's disgusting. There are others who lie about their feelings and misrepresent things early on just to use the guy as a temporary vacation. That's what wives who cheat on their husbands usually do. Once the marriage starts improving, they ditch the person that they used for narcissistic feed like trash.
You miss the good moment.. not the person you just have to separate it...the good moment is fun happy ect as the person is abuse,narc.. etc. Hope you'll find your love soon.
Same here. My marriage lasted 19 years.
Yes it makes all the sense in the world. I just have to remember her outbursts and rude behavior. It used to make me so nervous
The anxiety shocks are incredible. Sudden feeling of weakness. Only time will see that off, nothing else. I found that really digging in to whether the relationship was strong enough to go forward and had the right set up to build a future helped. My ex had a lot of issues which I to easily turned an eye to because your in the comfort zone.
Being in a breakup for 3 days now feels like a huge ancher pulling me down, like I don't want to exist at that moment.
I know! 😢
❤❤❤❤
How you feeling now? I broke up 2 months ago and its still very disturbing to me! :((
Hope your doing better!
@@jesuscrisis50862 months she is hot and cold. Its very depressing. She was my world.
Why is it when you know that they are not good for you, you still crave for them badly? There are recurring thoughts what if they change for another person and thats making me more depressed.
I feel the same, left after many many yrs of marriage. It’s killing me
The thing is, and please believe me, they NEVER change. Not really. Sure they're going to love bomb someone else for a bit...but the true colors always come out eventually. I wish you healing and peace of mind.
this is EXACTLY my thought right now, thank you for saying this so I know I am not alone in this 😔
It’s a soul tie. Only God can break it. Pray for deliverance from it. It’s so sad I know been there… 🫤
@@yolandacalderon5849 sry has nothing to do with God. Its called prolonged grief. They induce this
I'm currently going thru depression right now. I just want to sleep the days away.
I want this pain to end. It's been almost 2 months since she pulled away. We lived together for 2 years. I feel like my entire world is just upside down. Nothing seems to make me happy anymore. I miss how things were. Miss going to sleep & waking up to her in the morning. Miss her voice & her touch. Sleeping at night is the only time my mind has a break from this. I miss my girlfriend, she was my best friend
😢😢
I’m going through the same situation. Take care
I certainly understand. In my past, I lived with a partner two years. She suddenly left, moved out while I was out. I was devastated. I wanted to commit suicide. Really. I sought help. Got sober. Began to heal. Eventually evolved and grew in relationships. Looking back, I realize the situation was for the best. I learned to be honest to myself and others what I wanted. I found love again.
Be faithful to what you really want, not that for which you will settle.
Get her back, make the changes.
I feel ya pain bro keep ya head up that’s half the battle, the other half is study of some sort exercise n dedication to a cause greater then your self or anyone one human a cause that’s beneficent to us fellow man/woman child n remember you are Gods child if he ceased to think about you for one moment bro you would cease to exist so you take the charge of dominion that God gave and you go out there and focus on leaving this place a better place then you left it while learning everything you could along the way 👌🏾 💜 now go get ya mojo back bro
It's way worse than a death on so many levels. Even 10 years later...
Exactly! I talk about this on my channel
I hate him so much for being happy and moving on with his life when Im sitting here miserable
How are you doing now? I'm in exactly the same situation
💔💔
Breakups can be a blessing in disguise! It's not always meant for makeup, but rather it ends in order for you to wake up! So instead of trying to fix something that is broken, start over to create something that you will attract better.
💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Sure does Goddess of love. Freedom and peace.... We hope.🦋🕊️
I wish I could have seen this a few years ago. My ex dropped a bomb on me, pushing for a separation while I was already struggling with depression. I found myself alone with depressions… just as lock-down started. It was awful. Not only did I no longer live at home, with my family, but lock-down meant I could no longer see people at work, visit friends, family… I was more alone than I could have ever imagined and the depression made everything 1000x harder to deal with. My mind wanted to shut down and it took everything I had to keep going. Nothing was familiar. Nobody was familiar. The only consistent contact I had was with my therapist, who was extremely helpful. I met my partner along the way, and she restored faith in myself and helped me get through it by seeing and loving me as I am, as I love her as she is. In the end it worked out, but it was by far the darkest period of my life. Not because I wanted her back, but because leaving meant everything changed, all at once, and I was alone.
That sounds terrible. I'm glad you're still here and hopefully feeling better.
Why do they abandon you in your time of need that happened to me and all wanted was the support that give her when she was down and then after all the horrible things they say and do to you and they have the balls to ask you to be friends fuck that !!!
One of my greatest decisions in my life was to divorce my former cheating husband. It was hurt at beginning but I'm grateful that I have more freedom and more happiness than ever.
We can get there, but it's a long hard road for most of us. Glad you have made it.👍⭐
A certain darkness is needed to see the stars🙏
Agree!
That’s a statement I needed to hear
Please stop
I’ve been single now for a little over 2 years. My ex was a narcissist and was able to find a new boyfriend. Meanwhile I’m still single and can’t find a new girlfriend. Dating in the 21st century is horrible!
@Naomi Lane OK thanks. One things for sure is I don’t want my ex back. She was a horrible, rotten narcissist. I just wish it was easier meeting people in this generation.
Getting out of bed and routine is so important
so true
No forgiving. What my ex did is unforgivable, it is as bad as murder in my opinion, the destruction of a family with small children to leave me for a high school crush from 25 years ago. Sorry, but to hell with forgiving. I can move on but I don't need to and won't forgive.
Exactly I don't think we always have to forgive but just move on and build a new life is enough
u r my inspiration
After 24 years together, my husband walked away without a word and hid from me. We had just bought a house and I was not working. MLC? The pain is both physical & emotional. Therapy does not help nor does medication. He just gave up on me and discarded me.
🙏🏾
It's not him it's you , if you want to come out fast watch learn about lord Krishna stories it opens your mind of living . You will become great. Hear what lord Krishna said what is life what is love .
After 9 years she locked me out, very cold and cruel. I left her voice messages in pain but she never responded and than changed her number. I could only go to pick up my stuff. 5 weeks later my system is totally shocked. Barely slept for 2 weeks. Lately Im not sleeping well and im scared and worried.
I hope you are doing ok now 🙏🌻
No one can set anyone free from depression. There is only one cure and that is JESUS CHRIST. I once was into depression and every second of my life i used to confess that ‘i want to die’. I tried to suicide 3 times. Nothing happened. I tried drugs and everything. Then one day i hold bible in my hand and i start reading it everyday. Finally a day came when GOD talked to me through his word. John 16. He said i will give you eternal joy and no one can rob you of that joy that day i feel the power of the HOLY SPIRIT. All my depression and pain was all gone. Now i am free from past 9 months. All glory to JESUS
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I was with somebody 14 years. I did not think them not being in my life would've affected me as much as it did but oh my God, I never felt such pain in my heart once we broke up. I couldn't sleep , eat, or do anything. I was literally a walking zombie for the first couple of weeks. Here I am a month later and my sleep schedule is just starting to get back to normal. The end of the relationship, our ability to communicate died and things just turned into an argument every other conversation. She broke up with me in a text and blocked me everywhere. Called me selfish etc ...just a messed up situation. I haven't heard from her in almost a month but again , even though we had our issues , I never wanted to lose her and had no idea I was going to suffer so much in her absence.
I'm a similar situation to you, but mine was 7 years. I just want to know how to suddenly stop thinking of someone who you've thought about every day for those years. I'm blocked to, he's met someone else, 3 months now, and evey morning my first thoughts are my breakup, and him moving on, and me still in turmoil.
L
@@leahnewitt8702 As hard as it is, you have to get control of those morning thoughts. Try to steer your mind to something else. I'm going through the same thing. 10 years, he found a girl half our age. He got one try, but started sneaking around several months later. I still had to drive him out a mere month ago and now he's hinting he wants to come back. He's miserable and regrets. Tried to kiss me the other night, but pretends he didn't mean anything by it. Since we own the house I'm in, he leaves stuff here to have excuses to pop in. Tough situation. He admits he's still w/ her, even though he says it's not better than being alone, because she wasn't the dream girl he thought she'd be, just constant drama and fights. At least he makes it real easy to not go back to. I know he'd just toy w/ me some more. Brace yourself, in case your ex starts that crap too.
I feel you're the 1st guy I've heard ever admit to or shared his break up pain. Kudos to you for opening up. Big step for mankind 😊 I hope your heart heals or has already! ❤
I know how you feel. We had to break up 2 years and I still think of her every day. Moving on slowly and not checking on her anymore or it hurts more. One day we will be free of the pain if not of the thoughts.
I've just spent the last two days crying. I loved and still love him so much. He was a Narc and abused my both physically and emotionally, but, that trauma bond is still so strong. I want him back. Idk what to do anymore. I really, really don't.
Know Your Worth
love yourself more you are worthy of love
Watch more of these videos when your missing him. It helps a lot. Then, watch funny animal videos and laugh!!
Help other people, do projects for yourself....and u must learn to turn off your thoughts that keep flooding your head. Eventually, they diminish, and stop.
It took me 2 years.....
Thank you Stephanie, I so needed to hear this today.....I'm 5 months in to the ending of an 18 year relationship. My heart is broken. Most of the time I'm getting on ok and making progress but today I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I don't feel I'll ever get through this, but you're giving me hope that I will, it's just going to take time.......😢
My ex left me for his ex, but reading your post makes me realize that you’re so much stronger than me. I hope you get through this okay. Seek therapy, friends, and family. Self-love is important.
I hope you’re doing ok! It does just take time. I’m nearly a year out from ending my 4 year relationship. She moved on to someone else just a couple months after, which compounded the hurt even more. This year has been unbelievably hard and although I still have my low moments, I’m in such a better place than I was. You move on an upwards trajectory as time goes on, but there’s still plenty of lows along the way. It’s natural. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel your feelings. Just try not to get stuck in rumination. It’s frustrating that time is the healer when you just want to be healed straight away, but it’s a journey worth doing.
Heartbreak is the absolute worst, but you’re strong enough to get through it.
🫂
It feels like a different pain when you realize that it was your fault things didn’t work out. Whoever she chooses to be hers should feel lucky. It won’t be me and that hurts.
Been going through a rough one recently. Hit me like a truck outta nowhere. Slowly ive seen the positives in the outcome. But with that, i feel stuck ina depression, especially seeing her move on as if were nothing. Thank you for this video, hopefully in time i can get out this mess in my head.
Separation is hard but we have to stay strong more often that not, the process is slow but you are doing what is right, acceptance is the hardest for me…. After 2 years ….. but listening to these podcasts has helped me incredibly much.
So true, we got to look within ourselves and realize this to shall pass, it'll only make us stronger, 1day at a time been helping me, he was the only person I'd call and talk to but know I don't have that😢 but I know I'm going to be okay. May God bless and keep u🙏💗👍💪were here for a reason😊
They don't move on as though it was nothing but they do withdraw from you well before they actually pull the trigger. She will still think about you and may even reach out to you at some point. Treat it as a closed chapter but not the book
I went through a very bad depression after my break-up with my fiance. I was 52 and a widow. I was devastated and not just because I still lived him. But also, I felt like I might never get another chance at love. Sadly, I was right..that was 20 years ago, and, I never met anyone else. He was the second love of my life; he's passed now, God rest him. Thank God it wasn't a huge, complicated marital dissolution of many years. I'd already suffered through the loss of my husband. 💔
Rosey your life isn't over yet! Did you try to meet anyone?
You are not only beautiful Stephanie, but such a beautiful person inside. Thank you for sharing your own story that lead you to creating this channel. I have been watching your videos for several months now and they have been so helpful to me, thank you!
Watching this again after bumping into my ex of seven years who broke up with me 8 months ago.. now I’m crying like crazy
These are tough, bit you will go back to the last positive feeling if you continue the detox.
This video is really helpful, thank you so much. I'm almost 2 months out of a narcissistic breakup. Noticing I'm starting to sleep better now. I was barely able to sleep before. Starting to see a sliver of light in the healing process.
I'm devastated but I can't figure out if I miss the old me, or if I miss the relationship. It's been a very painful few weeks.
This video… pulled at my heart. I’ve been watching your videos for a couple months now. I’m in weekly trauma counseling and have been saving and planning to leave my narc husband. I’m 41 years old and have a 2 1/2 year old son named Ryan. I applied for an apartment yesterday and am praying I will be able to use the tools I’m learning thru your videos and therapy to be strong when I serve my husband the divorce papers. He has no clue. He’s extremely controlling and unhealthy for me and our son. I’m a people pleaser so this goes against everything in me. He’s trained me over the last 10 years to always prove where I am, who I’m with, what I’m doing.. right down to my thoughts. So I’m terrified. I have horrible anxiety and depression from the constant eggshells. But your videos give me faith. If I get approved for this apartment I contact my attorney I have ready for when I’m ready. I’m so scared yet so so excited. Thank you for helping people that you don’t even know. From small town Amy here 🙂❤️
We are born alone and we die alone. You don't owe anyone anything. Sounds harsh but its true. Focus on yourself
Thank you both!!
God bless you, and my best of good luck to you. ♥️
Stay strong dear one. You are not alone. Wishing you well.🦋🦋🕊️ Big hug
Oh my heart!! Thank you everyone!!
Working on my health and nervous system taking in everything from quality people who have experienced this and you are one of them
Women continue to pick a toxic partner whilst discarding a good man. They don’t believe they deserve a good man, so it it feels uncomfortable.
Stephanie, first I want to thank you so very much for all that you've taught us in this video! I had saved it on my phone to listen to it at a little later date. I have been listening to your other videos and a few other people about the narcissistic person. This video touched on depression and I have been trying to tell myself that I was getting better and over an 18 year marriage. My husband left me July of 2021 and did not tell me, I had to find out by a clerk at the drugstore who said she saw my husband earlier that morning. I was in shock and disbelief as he was supposed to be in another town for some weeks at a new job. So he was discovered. I was devastated, shocked and my heart was ripped apart. Betrayal and everything you've mentioned. It has been traumatic emotionally. I've had some people tell me that I should be getting over it soon as he was a liar, cheat, deceiver and manipulator. Now I didn't see this right away, actually for years and then little things started to be shown. For the past month I've been trying to straighten things out in my head about our relationship, and most the time I'm just going through motions. I do want to say that I really could not have made it if it wasn't for my faith in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He's got me through and he is carrying me through. As a Christian, I'm no less human than anyone else and we can fall apart too. But we have the Lord Jesus to lean on. Your video is extremely helpful and I am going to save it, because there will be times I need to listen to it again. But most of my motivation to keep moving is knowing that I have the Lord on my side and I am going to make it!
Stephanie your timing is amazing, like always 💕
Hello Lindsay. Hope all is well with you 🙂
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Wow. I needed this so bad I am suffering with grief right now. But it’s hard bc I have no support and I work in a very toxic environment.
Update
💔………day 3 of a breakup, I just can’t focus on anything, maybe be I just need a day to be sad.
I can feel uh
After my divorce my son 23, just decided to be with his dad. That happended because my ex used ti gave him gifts since he was 7, etc. I'm devastated trying to continue. It's hard. You help me a lot. Thank you.
I dont have a son anymore thanx to my ex. Not only has he cut me off fir over 10 years, but also my whole family.😪💔
I'm going through a blindside break up after living together for almost a year. Its been a month I'm still devastated
Same, at this point I don't know what even makes me happy. What's left of my life is chaos
Thanks Stephanie, it's just good to know that someone went through an incredible amount of pain and came out the other end. I think a big part of it is accepting it's over so you can move forward, it's the last thing you want to do at the time but it's the only thing that will let you get on with your life.
That you Stephanie, Im grieving the loss of a relationship. Just watched my ex hop on a motorcycle and drive off with her study screw buddy…
Thank you Stephanie. I didn’t realize you had been through a lot and you were really coaching from first hand experience. You’re such an amazingly strong and beautiful person. I like your lessons 💖
This video is also applicable to people who had a confusing “situationship”-
Where you gave them your everything. And you received next to nothing in return.
Exactly!
Oh my gosh me! A stay at home mom for years and now rebuilding from nothing. Thanks so so much!!!
Same. I am 41 and basically starting from scratch. I feel scared and vulnerable.
Same! Married 18 years.
Stay at home mom for 17 years only have a high school diploma and zero professional skills.
40 and starting over
My husband left me after 40 years of marriage for his bosses young daughter. It has been 1 1/2 years and I was feeling better in the past 6 months but now I am full of anger and rage. He left and I haven't seen him since. Our divorce was over Skype because of COVID and I feel like I need closure. I am being eaten alive with anger
You deserve better.. give your anger to jesus. Let Jesus heal you.
Thanks Stephanie for this video, it hit home. I may have given a comment on you other videos or maybe another one, but I'm kind of stuck in ways, I'm realizing my wife Is a narcissist even though she keeps calling me one. Been married for 42 years and live separately. I want a divorce but It breaks my heart to see her start over on her own after I took care of her so long financially. But I am living in 100 percent depression. Like you mentioned I hope to not see tomorrow when I go to bed. But I refuse to let her hang. Of course 42 years I can write a book here but I'll spare you. I'm very confused, I seen 5 different therapist and it seems they don't care or they want give me pills. I don't have the funds to keep paying for false opinions. I guess I'm just wondering what to do . Thanks again for your your videos.
Thank You. 💕 Your channel is so incredibly helpful during hard times. It’s like having a loving sister. Thank you SO much Stephanie. 💗
Struggling😔
I’m in a very similar situation, women will look for any excuse to leave a relationship or marriage, even a “Christian” wife. Commitment and love means absolutely nothing bc their feelings change constantly but whatever the situation is and you’re on your own, you have to keep growing and moving forward and not let that person break you.
Imagine if she as not a Christian…total hypocrisy…go figure it…
Absolutely correct brother
Not true. Here a very loyal woman, I just want to find stable love. I thought I had it and he dumped me again. Too many men has fear of commitment. My now ex boyfriend love me deeply, I know it, but he wanted to feel free again. So he left me two days ago. I am so, so sad.
This is not a woman or man situation. What I know for sure is that, next time, when I feel ready to date again, I'll be so clear about wanting someone who is not afraid of commitment.
@@mmcuser
It is true whether you believe it or not. Fear of commitment is not gender specific, but there could be a lot of reasons why someone does not commit.
I have really bad situational depression and I don’t know what to do
I can totally relate. The pain is on another level. I hope you're doing better! ❤
Thank you for this video. Your explanations help me process what I'm feeling.
How do you deal with knowing the person who you thought loved your for years was just manipulating you for their benefit and broke up the relationship to be with someone they appear to truly love?
3 years down the drain in a LDR where despite being so attentive and involved in the relationship, I was kept a secret, emotionally cheated and subsequently left for another whom they ended marrying in just one year?
I feel like trash even all my accomplishments and ambitions...
You are more than enough! I’m sorry you had that experience. You thriving is all that matters. You can will make it through and thrive.
I had a break up after 5 years on living together. And até that time I was felling so unhappy that I began a new relationaship because I thought that I deserved to be happy again. Some time before I realize that it was a mistake because I miss my husban. And I become more depress that ever. Now I pregnant, that's the only good thing. What to think when we realize that we make so big mistake. Sometimes I don't know what to think about my self. Do you have some advice? Thank's
My nervous system needed this 💛
Your take on "this is who they were, who i was and this is really the only way it could have happened." was really helpful. Thank you.
I wish I was married to Stephanie! She’s beautiful, intelligent and empathetic!
I feel like either I've lived a lie, and I woke up now or it was all true and this is a lie what I'm getting to know everyday about narcissism, it's a total mindfuck.. and worst nightmare. But whatever happens I'm going to stick to no contact method 👿 it's like I'm feeling I'm losing my mind and also getting stronger day by day, see I can't even explain 🥴
Oh ya everyone can just buy a house, no big deal just buy a smaller house after a breakup. Any tips for the non privileged?
I am sorry, if this will sound inapproproate, but you give certain neurodivergent vibes (my bet would be on ADHD, but that's not th eonly option), which should mean your emotions are more intense, MUCH longer lasting and breakup hurts more, than in the case of neurotypicla (so called "normal") people. Thus I'm not sure your explanation matches experienes of majority.
I’m going through the darkest moment of my life, and really about to give up. Not the way I wanted but it’s getting to the point where I have to just go.
Me too but idk what to do anymore I’m lost she moved on like it was nth💔
6 months later how are you holding up
@@Real_Shelby6 months later how you feeling
Thank you for this video. I broke up with my boyfriend three months ago. Now depression seems to be intensifying.
It’s been 2 months since I left him. (Well the police escorted him out) He was a true narcissist. He broke me. I’m struggling so much to forget him. He was like a drug. An unhealthy drug. I hate feeling like this as he’s still controlling me. I cry all the time 🥲🥲
Geez you didn’t even mention repairing the relationship how is that for healing the ❤ so many people now just give up so easy remember nothing good comes easy especially relationships! So people please stop relating your relationships to Hallmark movies 😊
I know the why and I knew it would happen eventually so now that it has, I just can't seem to except it. I keep saying to myself there is no hope and I will never be with that person again. I just can't seem to get past excepting it. I am doing my best to self help with meditation and it does help but I still suffer every day. I know this too shall pass but it is such an open wound.
those Pods... for assisted suicide, i think they have it in swiss and australia
that is a wonderful option, its like gently falling asleep and never wake up
but the issue is that its hard to get approval to use it... only terminal illness and situations like that.
...
my heart is broke in thousand pieces ... life is useless , im no interested in more or less or anything at all
few minutes in the pod and all is done!
Your videos are helping me more than you know. Thank you so much.
This was beautiful!! Thank you, Stephanie 🤗 ❤
Gotta run some of her videos back to stay in alignment
This is the best video at the perfect time for me at this moment. Thank you Stephanie!
honestly timing is abit too good its scary. Going thru it rn, this really helped thanks x
Thank you for very good advice.
Yesssss why does many people not understand this
Wow, you’re inside my head hearing my thoughts. Not only did I judge myself for still having feelings, my friends’ attitudes were the same in that they judged me. They said “good riddance” after a few days. I wasn’t there yet. I needed to talk, but they didn’t want to hear it. Even the therapist I started seeing 3 weeks after said get over it. I’m mostly healed, but the information in your video is still very helpful.
Therapist won’t listen. They want you to recover faster. It is healthy, But it’s is hard to do
@@fml5910 my ex isn’t a bad person. He’s a wonderful man. We just weren’t meant to be together in this season.
@@fml5910never easy, right?
He broke up with me very unexpectedly. I try to remember that life always works out the way it’s supposed to for me and for others even when I don’t understand and it hurts.
@@fml5910 you already realize that she’s not your person nor is she partner material for you. Maybe it’s time to move on and make room in your life for a real partner.
@@fml5910No, it’s toxic!
I'm in an abusive relationship now and have been for 12 years. It's caused severe agoraphobia that presents itself as monophobia. I still cannot find any material on this because I can't find anyone who has gone through it personally. It's so much deeper than exposure therapy. Before this relationship I was extremely independent and confident in myself. I haven't been physically alone in almost ten years and if I am or think I am a will have a full blown panic attack. Like I'm not just scared of it I am unable to.
Please, PLEASE if you can research this from a professional standpoint so many of us would appreciate it severely! If anyone has any info please pass it along!
Hey darling how are you feeling now? That situation is extremely rough
@@lex4992 I'm still in the same boat unfortunately although I'm trying to do more research on it nowadays! Thank you for asking!
I needed this today. Thank you!
So yeah... 27 years of marriage ending because of toxic narratives, triangulation of children and the killer, I was told getting high on a daily basis was worth more than actually working on the marriage... so yeah...
You never forget the look on someone's face when they tell you getting high is more important than you... so yeah
An affair and some divorce papers served soon after I'm here...
So yeah... I know a new life and better days ahead! My best days are still ahead of me!
So yeah!
Wow.. I talk about this exact same thing on my youtube channel. You can check it out to help you if you’re struggling with depression after a break up.
I am going thru this as I hear this so much needed message. My issue at hand is also trying to work two jobs to survive as I go thru these things/divorce. The understanding of needing to take off for courts, depression, police reports etc has taken a toll on not only me but my job. How do I explain this to them when most of the time they don’t understand why I am going thru and needing to take time off when I am overwhelmed and exhausted. How do I manage all of this at times it doesn’t help my depression yet I need to take time off to deal with things and my mental health. 😢
My issue is that I became depressed because of the toxic environment. He became so abusive I dreaded every interaction with him. He was constantly putting me down & devaluing me.
Now that I left, my depression has continued because we’re broken up & im now a single mom trying to figure out what’s next for my life. 14 years, our home, our family, the life I knew, GONE!
Try to remember the bad times, write them down and look at them regularly. Join groups, meet new people, be kind to yourself. Best wishes
The man I love left me 2 weeks ago and I am broken. I went through emotional and verbal abuse and I am trying to break away from the trauma bonding I was in. I still love him but I cannot be with him as he left and ended it because he felt I was not enough. I am trying very, very hard to cope with the hurt and the pain of missing him and still loving him but I am also bent on moving on. He has ADHD and I tried so hard to deal with it because I love him...but he felt that all the love, care and support I gave him was not enough. I worry about him everyday but life has to go on and I have to find my own way...despite the love...despite the pain. I know I will be okay...in time. Thank you for this video.
Thank you, what a blessing it is to hear your story. I really adore the realness.
Broke up myself after relationship from 14 years. He was so cruel i had to leave. Im so angry about what he did i hate and still love him
I’m extremely depressed being stuck in this kind of relationship The depression just keeps me stuck!
What do I do when a female friend calls me her love ❤ what do I do
It is a female friend who called me her love 💋💞❣😘👄💜🥰💗💓💘💝❤😍💕
I’ve had depression and anxiety since 19. I have had many health issues my whole adult life and 12 years ago I got sick with a multitude of illnesses. One year ago my husband of almost
20 years walked out. I was completely shocked. So we’re our kids and everyone else that knows us. He is five years younger than me, I’m 47, and everything speaks to a mid life crisis, and he’s become someone I don’t
Know. We were still physical and sexting until November-and my days are one minute at a time. I have a therapist and some great support but I almost never talk to his family of whom I have always been so close. No one from his family including him checks on me. It’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to endure and every day I fight the depression. I’m in the nasty stages of financial part of divorce still sitting here wishing I could understand wtf happened. It’s not a fun time in my life. My son just moved several states away for a job at 20, he used to be four hour drive. He won’t be coming home again here and my daughter just graduated high school and leaves for college in two months. The layers of grief hurt and I can’t see past the pain right now. I need every bit of self help and I appreciate these videos.
I was just transitional target, she is in stable marriage for years now, stable marriage but with me it was 5.5 years
of just hoovering and after that coldness and discard...
mine self-worth is destroyed,
I was just used and someone is good enough for marriage and normal life...,
how to resolve this past ?
Everything you said made sense... I've looked at why the change happened and I'm at fault. Researching the whys, I've a unconscious trauma with intamacy which resulted in hurting my partner.. understanding the self sabotaging behaviour I just want to reach out and fix things... everytime I do the rejection of no contact is overwhelming. Like I'm not a bad guy , but feel so guilty, completely in the sad phase .... I've considered suicide, however I'm starting to pull myself up... the only way if up right. I know I'm good enough... I know I need to be open and honest with being vulnerable. A huge part of me knows I need to be alone and heal, however I really want my partner to walk the path with me...
@Naomi Lane I've reached out twice and she doesn't reply so I just have to be respectful and let her go.. Trust the universe has something else in mind for me. I was stuck for weeks hoping she would reach out. It wasn't healthy
I’m in the same situation.
After the break my depression only lasted two years it wasn’t easy to let it go, and it was my first break up so it wasn’t easy for me to let things go and I was really in love with my ex but you know things happens after the break up I kind of changed a lot , I started treating others in a mean way I haven’t been happy I feel dead in the inside I don’t even remember how to ask a girl out I feel like I lost part of myself the day of the break up, in the break up there was no argument between me and my ex girlfriend but we just talked on the phone just decided to break up with me just because of her depression and me walking out without getting any answer why she was feeling that way but that’s all in the past
So sorry u r hurting, it's always worse in a break up when we there is no closure. l hope u will move forward and be happy again. Don't give up.look after yourself. Hope you find peace and happiness in the future, u will .... Stay strong. Blessings to u.🕊️🦋🌈👍
@@jenniferyates8100 I hope so and thank you
Its been 2 months since she left me after living together and getting attached i felt my soul left me when she left and I haven’t been able to catch myself…I constantly think about her and i dont feel no joy in anything anymore
Thank you Stephanie for this great topic. It hurts a lot to separate after 27 years. My heart is crying but my brain tells me to leave 😢
I never felt I was enough...pretty sure he cheated. I think he is fairly unaffected but I feel very sad
Am so sorry you had to go through that I to had terrible experience with my soon to be ex she cheated on me and then left me for the woman she was cheating with and started a new life with that person and left the kids and I in the dust in a matter of 7months
After 14 years relationship he told me today that it's over because he has another woman. I need to move out and leave everything. I'll have to leave my 2 dogs. One dog got diagnosed with cancer last week and I'm going to have to walk away on that. I'm gonna have to downgrade from living in this nice house to moving into small apartment because I'm financially insecure. The guy said he doesn't love me anymore. My whole world changed today and I'm beyond heartbroken especially for the dogs. I feel like I'm gonna die of pain.
Can you take your dog? I left a marriage of 38 yrs with nothing but a few items and I took one dog, we had 2. He also had cancer, a tumor but is doing better.
It is very hard leaving, maybe you can stay with family or a Friend. I'm wishing you the best of luck. Take care of you!
@ Julie I’m so sorry you’re going through this. When they cut off the emotion they’re down right cold and cruel. See if there’s anyway to take your dog. I know there’s government assistance for animal insurance. Like the other commenter said check with family and friends if you can stay with them until you’re on your feet. Maybe get a room just in the mean time. Your peace is more important than anything. Sending you light and love..
@@lindas8266 the thing is I don't have any family. They live in Europe. I don't have friends either because I was isolated in this relationship. So I'm gonna have to reconstruct my life from scratch at 42 years old. I have nothing. I can't take dog because I'll never provide such a good living for them as they have it with him. I'll move to small apartment and will work long shifts so it's not fair to dogs to take away what they have now. Here they have backyard, ex works from home so they never alone. Plus he is very good in taking care of them so I know they will be safe. I also don't want to separate them as they grew up together from 3mo of age. Now they are 5 years old. I'm trying not to be selfish when it comes to dogs I do it out of love for them. I don't have kids so they are like my babies. I'm so afraid what's coming next for me. I hope I can make it work for myself and maybe one day meet someone and have great relationship. I was working on myself so much in a past year and I feel like I should somehow pull through this. But it's still scary and it hurts. I still live in the same house because I need to safe money to move out and I have to see him going out with that girl and everything. He's so happy and my heart is screaming in pain. It's not fair. I'm trying to keep my sanity. I never thought I'll end up in situation like this.
@@kysssims8764 thank you! I can't take dogs because I don't have financial capabilities to support them and I'll live in small apartment and they are big 70lb labs. Here they have good life but if I take them they will lose this good life. They have backyard, ex works from home so they nvr alone, he takes good care of them. I love them so much but I have to put them first and not be selfish I got to do what's best for them. Here they are safe. I can't provide this lifestyle for them. And for myself I don't have any family. And no friends because I was isolated in this relationship. I will have to literally make a new life for myself from scratch and I'm 42 years old. I don't want to date at this age I always thought I'd already have a family and stability by this age but instead I have absolutely nothing now. Im left with nothing. And I have to watch how he's going on dates w that woman and how excited and happy he got while my heart is broken. I have to see all of this because I'm still in the same house because I can't afford to move out yet I need more money. I never thought in a million years that this is how my life be. How am I supposed to move in and live in a small cheap and empty apartment where nobody is waiting for me to come back to. And he moved on already. He has all figured out. He makes 6figure salary he never struggles and now he got this new girlfriend and throws away 14 years that we had together. How am I supposed to leave if this he, house, dogs, garden was my whole life. Im left with absolutely nothing. I am trying to focus but it's hard when pain takes over it's too much.
Cry out to God. He never leaves us. He's always there. You're not alone.
My narc husband snuck out & moved when I was out of town. After 19 yrs marraige together. Long story, I'm alone but not alone too. But God is there. Find a local church.. look for support groups.
Yes, this did help my situation a lot, it was so different from everything else ive heard on this topic.!Thanks for this one!
This video came at the perfect time.
good job on this one thank you. D.W. Ostoin, it helped tons. Would love to meet you and chat.
And my ex doesn't even have any sort of remorse to what she's done to me and its happened 4 times
Thank you so much for this video so much pain but such great advice
Broke up 15 days ago. Got 45 days until I can move out. I’m happy to be moving out of the state but I’m devastated about all the changes.
It’s a lot for sure, but something someone once said to me and it helped “you don’t need to figure it all out today.”
The maintenance free living is a great idea for me-thank you so much for sharing
You are excellent
That was a really good video. I really related to the majority of all of it.
Excellent Ms Thanks Take Care love you RADHE RADHE JAI JAI RADHE
My ex blindsided me with the breakup when I was taking care after my suicidal child and finished the marriage over the phone. I ended up homeless, I was jobless, I ended up broke, he discarded me like I was a piece of trash. Then he blocked me on social media and everywhere else pretending that I did something vindictive and has been changing the narrative of what happened with friends. I served him with the divorce papers and of course he counterclaimed, he thinks that he can get away from paying any child support etc.
are u ok