I was able to unlock my masculinity because I got bullied too much, it felt like nobody liked me despite my good qualities so I absorbed all the negativity and exploded. My personality went a 180 during my teen years but then after school the overt bullying was out of my life and I found myself slipping back into being soft again. After a big falling out with my family over them taking advantage of me, it has become more permanent now. I won't let anyone take advantage of me again, I don't feel like I need to be friends with everyone or take care of people when they are down when they are just strangers. I think somewhere in my psychology I know that even my family do not appreciate me putting the effort in, so there's no point being nice any more. Women love a man in touch with their feminine side though, of course not 100% feminine but a good 50/50. Being romantic for example is a feminine trait. I feel as though many women don't know what they are missing with a very masculine guy. Or sometimes you hear them complain but they just live with it. I really think that it's the difference between being just another guy (guys are all the same) and being someone special that she will remember forever.
I'm sad to hear you got bullied too as a teenager. Suppressed rage is something a lot of INFJ males unknowingly struggle with, but once we integrate it in a healthy way it's golden. Like you said, I think the holy grail is to integrate both feminine and masculine in oneself and somehow that transforms into something qualitatively new. A lot of women don't know where to put us and after a while they see they power of that romantic passion and love for women INFJ males have and this may make INFJ males rembered forever as you said. Let's do our best man and explore to which heights we can soar! Thanks for sharing brother!
Not what I (maybe) needed or wanted to hear!! For better or for worse, I identified with your interpretation. All the women I've sexually connected with have been narcissistic and/or bullies. My father was psychopathic and hated me until his death. Even his brothers and my Grandfathers didn't like or approve of me. Now I have an understanding of why. Dad and all the male relatives were hyper masculine and not the example of masculinity I ever wanted to be like. As you've mentioned about finding another or more appropriate definition of my masculine self, that's exactly what I have done. I certainly have become my own man - a man that I accept and like .. I love myself, but that took a decade or two to happen. It was quite the moment when I came to that understanding of acceptance and love for my masculine self. I'm an introvert and love solitude/my own company. Women continuously chase me, but I have no interest in being in any relationships especially with women after two marriages (3 kids). I also have other males seeking my friendship, but their motives can be similar to that of women, in that they can intrude into my life in ways I'm not interested. I've found that the only "relationships" I like, cope with and seek, are with people (male and female) in work situations or comrades like I've had in the Army. Interestingly, your take on infj was totally different to any other I've encountered. I need to re-view your video and contemplate your overall views. I must admit, this has jolted me.
Wow, thank for being so honest. I'm curious what triggered you the most about this video. Man.. A psychopathic father?.. I'm so sorry to hear that brother.. That must have been hell trying to grow up and have a "normal childhood" with so many malicious entities in your family and romantic relationships. You're tough, you made it to adulthood, that makes me glad. How did you go about developing your own version of masculinity let's say? How are the women you're romantically interested in today?
The concept of masculinity is deeply rooted in individual cultural values. This video only addresses a regional concept of masculinity. I am a 49 year old INFJ male and I do not posses feminine physical characteristics. So, being an INFJ male and a "traditional" notion of masculinity are not mutually exclusive. Most of the challenges INFJ guys experience according to this video could be overcome with an understanding an acceptance of one's own identity. Maturity allows you to be yourself and be assertive enough to not give a crap about society's prescriptive impositions.
Hey thanks for commenting, yes you're right. This video addresses typical INFJ male problems in the West let's say. You could be a traditional masculine INFJ male of course, but this video tries to boil down problems the proverbial INFJ male in most cases will have from what a typical INFJ male usually goes through, what I've seen within myself, my INFJ male friends and the INFJ males out there. Yes, maturity helps indeed, however when there has been some scarring of the soul let's say while growing up, some form of therapy may be needed as well to undo the conditioning or work through emotions. I'm curious to what your INFJ male experience is as a traditional masculine man! Could you share some things?
@@INFJMalePsychology Since MBTI is based of Jungian psychology, Jungian psychologists Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette wrote in their book "King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine" that the masculine primordial energies are not regional, that "all men" share the same collective unconscious when it comes to expressing masculinity. The only differences is immature masculinity (boyish men) vs. mature masculinity. Since the west modern history lacks a central father figure at home, most western males suffer from boyish thinking. Also, Autism tends to make females more masculine with masculine features and males more feminine with feminine features, therefore making today's genders very confused about their identity. So, besides maturity issues, a lack of a father figure at home... rampant autism in today's society is a major cause of identity crisis in today's youth. It's like night and day comparing how Generation X were very clear about our gender identity between males and females, and we had more sex with the opposite sex, making for a calmer and a more relax societal environments.
@@sirphil13 Wow, thanks for sharing that, I've ordered the book because of your post. What would you say characterizes boyish thinking vs mature thinking?
@@INFJMalePsychology. My fault! I had to go back and rewatch the first two minutes and I learned I had misunderstood what you said. You started off by listing traits that INFJ males struggle with, and I thought you had meant those traits were INFJ males’ traits. So when you went on to enlist quintessential traits which are generally considered female traits and you said they were INFJ males’ traits, I thought that was a contradiction. As I said, it was my fault.
I was able to unlock my masculinity because I got bullied too much, it felt like nobody liked me despite my good qualities so I absorbed all the negativity and exploded.
My personality went a 180 during my teen years but then after school the overt bullying was out of my life and I found myself slipping back into being soft again.
After a big falling out with my family over them taking advantage of me, it has become more permanent now. I won't let anyone take advantage of me again, I don't feel like I need to be friends with everyone or take care of people when they are down when they are just strangers.
I think somewhere in my psychology I know that even my family do not appreciate me putting the effort in, so there's no point being nice any more.
Women love a man in touch with their feminine side though, of course not 100% feminine but a good 50/50. Being romantic for example is a feminine trait. I feel as though many women don't know what they are missing with a very masculine guy. Or sometimes you hear them complain but they just live with it.
I really think that it's the difference between being just another guy (guys are all the same) and being someone special that she will remember forever.
I'm sad to hear you got bullied too as a teenager. Suppressed rage is something a lot of INFJ males unknowingly struggle with, but once we integrate it in a healthy way it's golden. Like you said, I think the holy grail is to integrate both feminine and masculine in oneself and somehow that transforms into something qualitatively new. A lot of women don't know where to put us and after a while they see they power of that romantic passion and love for women INFJ males have and this may make INFJ males rembered forever as you said. Let's do our best man and explore to which heights we can soar! Thanks for sharing brother!
Not what I (maybe) needed or wanted to hear!! For better or for worse, I identified with your interpretation. All the women I've sexually connected with have been narcissistic and/or bullies. My father was psychopathic and hated me until his death. Even his brothers and my Grandfathers didn't like or approve of me. Now I have an understanding of why. Dad and all the male relatives were hyper masculine and not the example of masculinity I ever wanted to be like. As you've mentioned about finding another or more appropriate definition of my masculine self, that's exactly what I have done. I certainly have become my own man - a man that I accept and like .. I love myself, but that took a decade or two to happen. It was quite the moment when I came to that understanding of acceptance and love for my masculine self. I'm an introvert and love solitude/my own company. Women continuously chase me, but I have no interest in being in any relationships especially with women after two marriages (3 kids). I also have other males seeking my friendship, but their motives can be similar to that of women, in that they can intrude into my life in ways I'm not interested. I've found that the only "relationships" I like, cope with and seek, are with people (male and female) in work situations or comrades like I've had in the Army. Interestingly, your take on infj was totally different to any other I've encountered. I need to re-view your video and contemplate your overall views. I must admit, this has jolted me.
Wow, thank for being so honest. I'm curious what triggered you the most about this video. Man.. A psychopathic father?.. I'm so sorry to hear that brother.. That must have been hell trying to grow up and have a "normal childhood" with so many malicious entities in your family and romantic relationships. You're tough, you made it to adulthood, that makes me glad. How did you go about developing your own version of masculinity let's say? How are the women you're romantically interested in today?
Amazing as always. This is so informative to know more about the true depth of who I am and who we are as INFJ men.
Thanks a lot, great to see you here again!
In a word: EXCELLENT!
Thanks for commenting, thank you! I'm glad it resonated!
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU!
The concept of masculinity is deeply rooted in individual cultural values. This video only addresses a regional concept of masculinity.
I am a 49 year old INFJ male and I do not posses feminine physical characteristics. So, being an INFJ male and a "traditional" notion of masculinity are not mutually exclusive.
Most of the challenges INFJ guys experience according to this video could be overcome with an understanding an acceptance of one's own identity. Maturity allows you to be yourself and be assertive enough to not give a crap about society's prescriptive impositions.
Hey thanks for commenting, yes you're right. This video addresses typical INFJ male problems in the West let's say. You could be a traditional masculine INFJ male of course, but this video tries to boil down problems the proverbial INFJ male in most cases will have from what a typical INFJ male usually goes through, what I've seen within myself, my INFJ male friends and the INFJ males out there. Yes, maturity helps indeed, however when there has been some scarring of the soul let's say while growing up, some form of therapy may be needed as well to undo the conditioning or work through emotions. I'm curious to what your INFJ male experience is as a traditional masculine man! Could you share some things?
@@INFJMalePsychology Since MBTI is based of Jungian psychology, Jungian psychologists Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette wrote in their book "King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine" that the masculine primordial energies are not regional, that "all men" share the same collective unconscious when it comes to expressing masculinity. The only differences is immature masculinity (boyish men) vs. mature masculinity. Since the west modern history lacks a central father figure at home, most western males suffer from boyish thinking.
Also, Autism tends to make females more masculine with masculine features and males more feminine with feminine features, therefore making today's genders very confused about their identity. So, besides maturity issues, a lack of a father figure at home... rampant autism in today's society is a major cause of identity crisis in today's youth. It's like night and day comparing how Generation X were very clear about our gender identity between males and females, and we had more sex with the opposite sex, making for a calmer and a more relax societal environments.
@@sirphil13 Wow, thanks for sharing that, I've ordered the book because of your post. What would you say characterizes boyish thinking vs mature thinking?
Two minutes in and you contradicted yourself in this video.
Thanks for commenting, could you tell me how I did that?
@@INFJMalePsychology. My fault! I had to go back and rewatch the first two minutes and I learned I had misunderstood what you said. You started off by listing traits that INFJ males struggle with, and I thought you had meant those traits were INFJ males’ traits. So when you went on to enlist quintessential traits which are generally considered female traits and you said they were INFJ males’ traits, I thought that was a contradiction. As I said, it was my fault.
@@snobbishruk751 thanks for clarifying and being able to admit any misunderstandings or mistakes. That is a very refreshing quality on this platform!