Why Being Embarrassed Is Good For You

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ธ.ค. 2022
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    Embarrassment. Awkwardness. Cringe. No matter what you call it. it’s one of the most unique human emotions, and one that’s particularly hard to figure out. But if a feeling exists and has lasted through evolution, then it probably has a purpose!
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ความคิดเห็น • 870

  • @besmart
    @besmart  ปีที่แล้ว +566

    So what’s your most embarrassing moment? 😂

    • @drstone3418
      @drstone3418 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      How do Babies respond to optical illusions .if their brains don't have an expectation. And doesn't uncanny valley show our brains are actually good at detecting fakeness

    • @starforge5663
      @starforge5663 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      I'm gonna be honest here Joe, I don't think I really have a most embarrassing moment that I can recall but one memory that I have where I was really embarrassed was when I through a rock no more the size of a grain of sand at a pregnant woman's belly. I was like maybe 5 or 6 at the time and I remember thinking to myself "what have I done!?" as Anakin Skywalker did in Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith. Man, that wasn't very pleasant and I have never done anything like that since then just to set the record straight.

    • @parkmin-su4793
      @parkmin-su4793 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Man it's so embarrassing I can't even find the words to describe it :")

    • @roguedogx
      @roguedogx ปีที่แล้ว +10

      probably any of my "thought" based work in my early 20s.

    • @omomer3506
      @omomer3506 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Let's just say I couldn't keep dinner in my stomach

  • @JeremiahFrye
    @JeremiahFrye ปีที่แล้ว +1284

    Walking around like that doesn't seem like it's THAT embarrassing. No need to make such a big dill about it.

    • @besmart
      @besmart  ปีที่แล้ว +237

      Well played!

    • @micahbirdlover8152
      @micahbirdlover8152 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@besmart getting wedged embarrassing 😐

    • @mirachowdhury2538
      @mirachowdhury2538 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      "Big dill" i am embarrassed for you bro

    • @Sharky1080
      @Sharky1080 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@mirachowdhury2538 it's a joke - he is a 'dill' pickle

    • @Greenballoffire
      @Greenballoffire ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@mirachowdhury2538 don't worry because that is actually GOOD for you!

  • @jeremybyington
    @jeremybyington ปีที่แล้ว +951

    I’m getting secondhand embarrassment hearing all of these embarrassing situations. 😂

    • @sohopedeco
      @sohopedeco ปีที่แล้ว +17

      I giggled with the credit card chick. 😂

    • @jazzling
      @jazzling ปีที่แล้ว +22

      wow you must be an empath

    • @hojo70
      @hojo70 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      It's Vicarious Embarrassment, jeez, didn't ya watch the video?

    • @simarkarmani4034
      @simarkarmani4034 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You're getting vicarious embarrassment.

    • @tennesseedarby5319
      @tennesseedarby5319 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      That’s almost third-hand at this point

  • @parkmin-su4793
    @parkmin-su4793 ปีที่แล้ว +1410

    Seriously respect for this guy AND his camera crew 😂

    • @adlwafortuned
      @adlwafortuned ปีที่แล้ว +40

      plot twist. no camera crew, he ask random people to hold the camera

  • @Smolstarfish
    @Smolstarfish ปีที่แล้ว +421

    I was at the checkout in the grocery store and the cashier had done her hair in a really pretty way and I wanted to tell her it was nice so I said "I love the way you did your hair today! It's really pretty!" Well she looked at me super weirdly and goes "Have we met before or something? I don't know you"
    I didn't realize the way I said that implied I knew her.. I made it worse by trying to explain myself and laugh it off but she was super uncomfortable and I sounded like a creepy stalker. I wanted to turn invisible

    • @eaterdrinker000
      @eaterdrinker000 ปีที่แล้ว +246

      That's on the cashier... she could have just replied, "Thank you, so nice of you to say that" without becoming self-righteously indignant. Then, what do I know, I'm basically a old fuddy-duddy Biden boomer at this point.

    • @thangri-la
      @thangri-la ปีที่แล้ว +98

      You did great. The other girl is actually an outcast.

    • @AhmedBodhi
      @AhmedBodhi ปีที่แล้ว +73

      Depending on her tone, her response could be interpreted as her feeling like she did know you and feel close to you. Sucks having to explain yourself in response but maybe "I don't think so, just thought I'd say that" or something like that. In a world where people stifle compliments and kind words, people are not used to receiving honest compliments

    • @user-rx7pd1xv4k
      @user-rx7pd1xv4k ปีที่แล้ว +53

      Ah..... What a terrible reaction she had to that. I think I would die inside for a good minute or so if someone said this to me after simply giving a lighthearted compliment.

    • @janedoe7971
      @janedoe7971 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      It's because you said you loved the way she did her hair "today", that makes it sound like you have seen her on more than one occasion instead of just saying. "Hey, I like your hair". Maybe it came off as overly pandering too.

  • @d2quareddaily949
    @d2quareddaily949 ปีที่แล้ว +397

    Imho, not being embarrassed is strength that can be used for good or evil.

    • @jmodified
      @jmodified ปีที่แล้ว +84

      True. I went to high school with a guy who was, apparently, incapable of embarrassment. He may also have been a sociopath, but he was highly intelligent and one of those people who only needs five hours of sleep per night. He's now a very wealthy real estate mogul, but could just as easily have wound up in prison or murdered, due to the huge number of people he pissed off.

    • @meganblasco2
      @meganblasco2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      🔸Some societies have used peer pressure and embarrassment to make us conform. Antisemitism in World War 2 Germany is a sad example of people being trained to be antisemitic. Good manners and getting along with others are good things for society But good manners don’t mean that you always follow what the crowd determines acceptable if it is not good.

    • @pigeondance
      @pigeondance ปีที่แล้ว +1

      pretty much yes!!

    • @adamantobserver8655
      @adamantobserver8655 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@meganblasco2 that's how society works. Just like the world today forcing people to accept homosexual.

    • @maxiwaxipads
      @maxiwaxipads ปีที่แล้ว +2

      to be cringe is to be free o7

  • @michaelpuglisi1647
    @michaelpuglisi1647 ปีที่แล้ว +842

    This is one of this channels best videos. The emotion of embarrassment is so universal yet when experiencing this emotion, we all feel so alone.

  • @_Chessa_
    @_Chessa_ ปีที่แล้ว +62

    Btw, it’s not normal to feel embarrassed for just existing in this world.
    That’s how I feel any time I’m in public. Social anxiety and the feeling of being embarrassed just by being out there lol. I hate myself so much.

    • @SirusStarTV
      @SirusStarTV ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Yeah, i hate any interactions with humans. Be it a positive or negative, it all feels awkward.

    • @mschrisfrank2420
      @mschrisfrank2420 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I wouldn’t call that embarrassment. I call that social anxiety or possibly a symptom of childhood trauma. I spent decades living that way.

    • @bojangles5232
      @bojangles5232 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Exposure therapy

  • @ItsDatGuy969
    @ItsDatGuy969 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    9:12 the woman really said that people feel embarrassed because the brain makes you feel embarrassed.

    • @darkydoom
      @darkydoom ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Yeah, felt like she was trying to be real smart but said the most basic words of obviousness

    • @lajya01
      @lajya01 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@darkydoom She should be embarrassed

    • @JuanDiego-vx7bx
      @JuanDiego-vx7bx ปีที่แล้ว +19

      I feel embarrassed for her 😳😳

    • @PrimalMisfit
      @PrimalMisfit ปีที่แล้ว +4

      My brain made me feel embarrassed for her because the brain makes you feel embarrassed

  • @AustinSlack
    @AustinSlack ปีที่แล้ว +301

    I've never related more to someone than I have the moment I heard her tell her story about the chair fart move.

    • @SolaceEasy
      @SolaceEasy ปีที่แล้ว +5

      My story is to reload!

    • @jonmcdaniel8492
      @jonmcdaniel8492 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Note to self: Chair move does not work. Fall back on reliable "The dog did it! Get out of here Fido!"

    • @anti-ethniccleansing465
      @anti-ethniccleansing465 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jonmcdaniel8492
      That isn’t going to work in a classroom setting, like she described.

  • @DillaWorld
    @DillaWorld ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Doing "embarassing" or scary things over and over but willing to do what you want in you heart builds a mental muscle.... is called having courage.
    The courage to be yourself.

    • @pigeondance
      @pigeondance ปีที่แล้ว +8

      yeah, as someone smart said, courage is not an absence of fear, but a strengh to overcome that fear

  • @venust.4119
    @venust.4119 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    Feeling embarrassed but powering through it and learning to be more comfortable with this feeling is very liberating. I recommend:)

    • @royalfamily5531
      @royalfamily5531 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      How good it will be if doing this is as easy as saying this😐

    • @LongPlayPladde
      @LongPlayPladde 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@royalfamily5531 Just do it! Worse thing that can happen is people laughing at you. Which means you've enlightened their boring days of not doing anything embarrassing at all costs - so you can be proud of your previous embarrassment as it's a public service or some what.
      Once you pop you'll never stop. You'll conquer your life one day, mate! :)

  • @andrewavakian
    @andrewavakian ปีที่แล้ว +368

    one of the best scientific content creator out there, we really appreciate the effort and consistency.

  • @charlievane
    @charlievane ปีที่แล้ว +137

    @12:58 - that's the real problem with modern 'embarrassment' - it's actively used by people to constrain and force others. I can no longer agree to any model that talks only of the passive mechanics of childish embarrassment. It's a damn weapon of pressure used by people to make other people feel shitty and below them, both individually and class-based.

    • @thangri-la
      @thangri-la ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Nobody says that biology and psychology can't be used as a weapon. But that doesn't make them any inherently villainous. That's on the user.

    • @akhragee
      @akhragee ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@thangri-la The title of the video literally calls it "good for you," which becomes increasingly untrue as your social identity gets further from "fiscally-secure white abled neurotypical straight cis man." Taking issue with a demonstrably harmful *framing* is not the same as calling the phenomenon itself "villainous." ANY value judgement is unsound, not just the negative one. Success is not goodness.

    • @sunnysied713
      @sunnysied713 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@akhragee Embarrassment is used to reinforce social norms and punish anything that violates those social norms. There's a huge range of social behavior. Humans life is very complex. That being said, if you're part of tiny fringe group minority, then get ready for some embarrassment. Unusual and abnormal behavior isn't always accepted or praised by the group.

    • @sunnysied713
      @sunnysied713 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Humans society has always had a social hierarchy. Did you actually think you could sit down at a birthday party for someone you don't even know? That would be embarrassing because it violates social rules. You don't have membership in that group, you don't have status and you'd be seen as an outsider. You agree to thousands of different social terms and you definitely feel embarrassed when some of those rules are broken. Everyone believes in class and status based systems. How would you like it if the new rookie got paid and promoted instead of you? Lol

    • @xoriented983
      @xoriented983 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      In modern society a lot of people are trying to emotionally manipulate the other‘s.. that‘s a really big problem.., but yeah what ya wanna do abt it like abt all these other global issues🤷🏽‍♂️

  • @danielsan5577
    @danielsan5577 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    I went bowling, to the arcade, and to a restaurant while wearing a hot dog costume. Never felt more confident in my life when I wore it.

    • @pigeondance
      @pigeondance ปีที่แล้ว +4

      same, once i went to uni in a Totoro costume!!! that was a blast

  • @Commander-Ledi
    @Commander-Ledi ปีที่แล้ว +50

    i have social anxiety so i feel embarrassed about everything i do and say just in case 👍

    • @pigeondance
      @pigeondance ปีที่แล้ว +4

      as a person who felt exactly like this for most of their life: this is not normal and it can ruin your life!! pls consider getting help somehow if you haven't already!!
      to me personally getting therapy helped, also studying psychology a bit, and getting into improv.
      plus there's a book that helped me a lot, i think it's called "the antidote: happiness for people who can't stand positive thinking". it has some questionable takes, but handles the embarrassment and social anxiety topic very well.
      have a great day! 💗

  • @slothman9731
    @slothman9731 ปีที่แล้ว +150

    I'd learned at a very young age: if you defeat this emotion, life will become much simpler.
    BTW: We all know Austin is the weird part of Texas, so it shouldn't be so embarrassing :v

    • @inanothertime5227
      @inanothertime5227 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @Don Za for me, I simply do things out of my comfort zone, not too extreme. Such things as wearing clothes that I am embaressed to wear, or go to the gym. I also train myself to have a not givivng a f*ck mindset, I basically manipulate myself to think in a way that time passes quick and anything I have done does not matter ^embaressing thing^
      One of the best ways of training your self in my experience (I have thought this to someone else and it does work guarantee.

    • @AkaneTendo
      @AkaneTendo ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Same. When I was a little kid, I realized that I was feeling this "emotion", and I deemed it unnecessary. The way I dealt with it was just ignoring its existence. Eventually I didn't feel it much, or even at all. Same goes for shyness. I deemed that unnecessary, and now here I am, a carefree behavior, lol.

    • @paromita_ghosh
      @paromita_ghosh ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@inanothertime5227 self reflection is imp sis👍

    • @inanothertime5227
      @inanothertime5227 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@paromita_ghosh definitely!

    • @maudheusghem1659
      @maudheusghem1659 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@inanothertime5227
      But why would you want to wear clothes that you find embarrassing instead of ones you actually like and feel confident in ?

  • @Apophis-en9pi
    @Apophis-en9pi ปีที่แล้ว +16

    That guy's shirt was so embarrassed it blurred itself out.

    • @jscs9960
      @jscs9960 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      underrat4r

  • @BlakeLeasure20
    @BlakeLeasure20 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Someone should do research on alcohol consumption and the lack of embarrassment and how it can affect you after sobering up

  • @McPilch
    @McPilch ปีที่แล้ว +95

    In the middle-age zone and I'm slowly noticing the whole "you care less as you get older" thing more... and I sooooo wanna reach the point where I can go out in public and not care about how I look.. or smell.. or act..!!

    • @srpenguinbr
      @srpenguinbr ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I think it really varies. There are plenty of old people who REALLY care about public behavior.

    • @BootyRealDreamMurMurs
      @BootyRealDreamMurMurs ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Im 17 and people say i act like an old man because i dont care what i look like to others and seem cool about it somehow despite being odd...

    • @SolaceEasy
      @SolaceEasy ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I'm 62 and waving my Magic Wand Over You. Poof! You got it!

    • @jasonchiu272
      @jasonchiu272 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I believe that because at some certain point in your life, you have already experienced enough embarrassment to know which things you should avoid and which things you can just do without the public caring.

    • @adamantobserver8655
      @adamantobserver8655 ปีที่แล้ว

      And that's why people who're older prone to go senile.

  • @Ulthar_Cat
    @Ulthar_Cat ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Shame along with guilt and fear can be used against us to manipulate us. Manipulative people are garbage. 💜

    • @skatesatgod-fusion2619
      @skatesatgod-fusion2619 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Absolutely. Can't believe they didn't talk about this particular aspect of shame despite that one interviewee literally talking about his experience with being bullied.

  • @salvadoran_uwu
    @salvadoran_uwu ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I experienced the biggest load of embarrassment in my second year of high school, I was bullied for unknown reasons, I was there just for studying, but people didn't want to be my friend.

    • @pigeondance
      @pigeondance ปีที่แล้ว +6

      istg bullies are the worst. they don't even need a clear reason to pick on someone, they just make up any reason for the sake of being mean. i figured that out when i was bullied for wearing a straw hat and watching a cartoon at 14 😂✌️

  • @dangerfly
    @dangerfly ปีที่แล้ว +91

    If people who readily admit mistakes and don't get embarrassed easily are also considered humble then does that make people who are easily embarrassed less humble? Maybe being more forgiving towards ourselves and others defeats the tyranny of societal pressures.

    • @Floofaloofa
      @Floofaloofa ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I loved this. Have a lovely day u loveliest soul with em kind vibes!!
      Toodles! Stay Bright Doves! 🕊️
      Xoxo ❤️

    • @ChemistTea
      @ChemistTea ปีที่แล้ว +5

      This is an interesting observation.

    • @dangerfly
      @dangerfly ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@ChemistTea How can we trust our innate emotional reactions? For example, we're more likely to empathize with a box of kittens than a box of lizards even if those cats will wipe out defenseless native species in Hawaii drastically reducing biodiversity.

    • @ChemistTea
      @ChemistTea ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@dangerfly I suppose our innate emotional reactions are more relevant to our immediate safety, kittens are less likely to kill you then lizards. But I don't think you can trust those when dealing with more global issues, like the natural balance of the ecosystem. And there have been examples where people relied on good feelings and by doing so brought about great destruction such as wiping out entire species.

    • @dangerfly
      @dangerfly ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ChemistTea Emotions come from the core-like limbic system in contrast to the prefrontal cortex responsible for planning. I've always assumed having life-preserving emotional reflexes closer to the stem is better for faster danger avoidance.
      We're smooshing dog snouts (pugs/bulldogs) to the point that they have breathing issues. I'd argue it's our empathy that causes us to prioritize neoteny to this degree. What do you think?

  • @AthAthanasius
    @AthAthanasius ปีที่แล้ว +55

    I wonder if the editor of this video will be embarrassed if it's pointed out that whilst direct faces in the background were often blurred... the reflections in shop windows weren't ?

    • @danielledavis9335
      @danielledavis9335 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      It's the holidays... it's the thought that counts 😂

  • @daveandgena3166
    @daveandgena3166 ปีที่แล้ว +91

    Thank you, Joe, for doing your part to keep Austin weird!

    • @elizabethyow1165
      @elizabethyow1165 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I was thinking the same thing 😂😎

  • @HappilyAnonymousGirl
    @HappilyAnonymousGirl ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I think feeling embarrassment shows how much we care of what others think of us.
    I know when I was a kid I felt embarrassed a lot, and back then I also cared way too much of what others thought of me.
    Now as an adult, it’s been around 8 years since I last felt embarrassed, and I think it’s mainly because I don’t care as much about what others think of me anymore.
    I’ve been told I’m awkward a few times by different people, and instead of feeling embarrassed when they said this, I was just perplexed and curious as to what made them say that.
    It bothered me in the sense that it was just random and confusing, but it didn’t bother me in a way that made me want to find out why they said that lol

    • @marie-nm9jo
      @marie-nm9jo ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I agree with you, but I also feel that as a kid we are all likely to go though embarrassing moments because it’s our first time navigating the world and it’s social rules. Kids will make lots of mistakes in the world as they try to understand it

  • @Dax888
    @Dax888 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    social anxiety is afraid of him ☠️

  • @Erik-pu4mj
    @Erik-pu4mj ปีที่แล้ว +81

    9:19 Hell yeah for the anthropology (and psychology) terms used to make a solid argument. Made me smile.

    • @SolaceEasy
      @SolaceEasy ปีที่แล้ว

      The arguments are based on the fallacy that emotions are real Beyond thoughts. I don't believe emotions are real for animals.

    • @truthseeker7815
      @truthseeker7815 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@SolaceEasy, but they are

    • @ooooneeee
      @ooooneeee ปีที่แล้ว

      @@SolaceEasy cool story bro

    • @Erik-pu4mj
      @Erik-pu4mj ปีที่แล้ว

      @@SolaceEasy In the Platonic sense of real, perhaps emotions do not exist beyond our thoughts and perceptions. But the same thing could be said about spatial dimensions; they may not exist beyond our perception. Still, this 'grid of space,' much like emotions, describes the world around us well.
      That said, I do not see the connection to her arguments. Might you clarify?

  • @jamescunningham1844
    @jamescunningham1844 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    We care about what people think of us. Guess it comes with forms of self awareness

    • @SolaceEasy
      @SolaceEasy ปีที่แล้ว +8

      We care too much about what people think about us and look what it gets us.

    • @jamescunningham1844
      @jamescunningham1844 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@SolaceEasy pointless paranoia and discomfort around people. It does go both ways though. Humans can be very judgemental over the smallest things

    • @andrei-calinardelean1957
      @andrei-calinardelean1957 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@SolaceEasy people judge others wether you like it or not. You can't just go for the "I don't care what people think of me at all" since it won't benefit you long term and it can make you unlikebale. Opinions are everywhere but that's not a reason to act like we don't care about them

  • @duka9x878
    @duka9x878 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I have anxiety and go through difficult situations every day but it's still not getting better

    • @alechianese01
      @alechianese01 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I know how you feel😢

  • @404LenaNotFound
    @404LenaNotFound ปีที่แล้ว +32

    Sometimes I like being awkward or cringe. It’s… Idk, it’s kind of refreshing because we’re so stuck up in these rules of society. It gives me an adrenaline rush and puts me out of my comfort zone which then makes me feel like I can do things if I want to. And, it’s somewhat also a bonding emotion. Everyone can relate to being awkward or having embarrassing or cringe moments. It’s authentic.
    Sooo, I just laugh it off and I am fine with it. I embrace awkward moments.
    …as long as it’s not hurting anyone ofc
    Oh and sometimes I love being awkward to see others absolutely cringe because of it. It’s fun ;)
    I have a friend who at lunchtime gets really loud and even stands up to point at someone sitting at our table. He’s making a bit of a fool of himself and obviously other people then look at us. Most of us then get awkward or we just start laughing like crazy because it’s somehow so ridiculous. It’s great bonding and it’s always fun with that dude :).

  • @circleinformationseeker7461
    @circleinformationseeker7461 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I never thought about embarrassment like this way.

  • @i7assan
    @i7assan ปีที่แล้ว +4

    That explains why I skip embarrassing scenes in tv shows

  • @lazerllamaz
    @lazerllamaz ปีที่แล้ว +44

    He turned himself into a pickle. Funniest thing I've ever seen.

    • @spugg713
      @spugg713 ปีที่แล้ว

      He really did just that

  • @ChimeraZone
    @ChimeraZone ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Simulating Embarrassment though communication can be a tool for teaching others what to avoid. In it's worst form, it can be used to manipulate groups of people into seeing embarrassment where there should be none. In truth, the particular embarrassment can be unlearned, and you may be the molder of your own mind.

  • @JorgePille
    @JorgePille ปีที่แล้ว +3

    That girl was 💯 about the ego. When your front crumbles and there's an undeniable shame that goes with it is an absolute bruise.

  • @emilylin836
    @emilylin836 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I was at the gym today and resting between sets - I took out my phone to check off things in my workout app and a woman came up to me and scolded me for using the popular machine I was sitting at as a texting bench. Suddenly it felt like everyone was looking at me and I just stood up, went into my car, and drove home. Wish I had thicker skin :(

  • @marco8060
    @marco8060 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Hey joe. I think a good secondary video about this could show the benefits of not feeling embarrassed.

    • @marco8060
      @marco8060 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      (when u should be.)

    • @marco8060
      @marco8060 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      like when she said "you gained my respect."

  • @mueffe1357
    @mueffe1357 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    2:35 Self Conscious Emotion: You have to think before you feel.
    Rene Descartes: I think therefore I feel.

  • @RamonQuiro7
    @RamonQuiro7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    13:35 I often forget that others have uncomfortable feeling too. When both parties are honest and open (very difficult) it can lead to closer feelings of connection : D

  • @adityarao1462
    @adityarao1462 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you for making this video. As a person who gets embarrassed a lot I needed this.

  • @mghojan2633
    @mghojan2633 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    9:12 damn, I didn't know neuroscience was so easy

  • @greyareaRK1
    @greyareaRK1 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    It's why a lot of guys will get drunk before they'll dance.
    What about explaining the deep meaning of a song's lyrics, and then realising you got them completely wrong.
    Thankfully, it does seem to wear off a bit as you get older.

  • @AceSpadeThePikachu
    @AceSpadeThePikachu ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Yet another example where my Autism (and to some extent egotism) kind of makes me an outlier here, is up until my early teens I was actually incapable of feeling embarrassment (I'd do really stupid things like moon strangers in public and shout out in class that I pooped my pants), and instead of feeling embarrassed when I was told that's not appropriate I instead felt confused or even angry for being told I was doing something wrong. Even later on in my life instances where I felt genuine embarrassment are so few and far between that I can't even name one off the top of my head. And even THEN the embarrassment always is swiftly replaced by another less-social emotion, like anger (wanting to blame someone or something else and/or getting super defensive), paranoia (the feeling that I will be physically attacked or punished in some way by an uncaring malevolent society) or guilt (recognizing that something I did actually hurt someone and that I probably shouldn't do it ever again.)
    Even now, watching you walk around in that pickle costume, I was thinking "Hey, neat. It's like Halloween or ComicCon. I wish more people would cosplay all the time." Probably helps that I'm a furry and if anyone has a problem with me walking around as a giant Pikachu, well that's their problem. If me being myself is "rocking the boat" than that boat can go hit an iceberg and I'll find my own boat. A boat populated by fellow furries and neurodivergents who aren't afraid to show each other EXACTLY who we are up-front.

  • @smoll-bean5110
    @smoll-bean5110 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I remember falling down bc someone pushed me at a school game, everyone was focused at me and the boys my grade snickered, I genuinly wanted to disapear at that moment. Like I guess they’ll make fun of me again

  • @r.vincenta.9678
    @r.vincenta.9678 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "Embarrassment gets (and keeps) people in line..."
    Our social chains aren't necessarily a good nor bad thing. On one hand, it keeps people from accidentally or intentionally harming others esp in extreme cases. On the other, it prevents intellectual and creative geniuses from flourishing.

  • @xyenthereptilian7451
    @xyenthereptilian7451 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I like how in a video about embarrassment you did a dab during the jumbotron as another example of unspoken social embarrassment smart.

  • @Johny40Se7en
    @Johny40Se7en ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Fantastic episode. Love the vicarious emotions, that's often the ones that creep in the most, and no matter how much I tell my self not to give so much of a crap about what others think, they're always at the back of the mind lingering like a dodgy fart...

  • @einjix
    @einjix ปีที่แล้ว +19

    The fear of rejection hits hard, this is such an interesting topic. Thanks a lot for the insight! I definetly learned a lot from embarrasment

  • @marietailor3100
    @marietailor3100 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Cringe is the feeling you get when you see someone make NFTs of themselves as a cowboy, an astronaut, and a superhero 😂

    • @LangThoughts
      @LangThoughts ปีที่แล้ว +5

      And one of the potential rewards for buying the NFT is dinner with the guy, which he gave to a ɪnsɑne ʜɨtleɾ-loving rapper and some ʜoloçɑust Dɛnɨeɾ he apparently doesn't even know about for without them having to buy anything....

    • @itsafunnyoldworld
      @itsafunnyoldworld ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@LangThoughts I'm surprised, as Americans, you guys aren't immune to national embarrassment yet 🤣

  • @jasonchiu272
    @jasonchiu272 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    To cut it short:
    Embarrassment is the rubberbanding of emotion.

  • @johndoe-rq1pu
    @johndoe-rq1pu 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    My embarrassment has taught me to just avoid all other humans because all actions are wrong and harmful, which is probably making me a better human I guess.

  • @bungercolumbus
    @bungercolumbus ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Funny enough. 8:50 I did learn about this at school in romania. We did learn about the dramatic genre for writings and we had as example a famous comedy from our country called "A lost letter".
    Anyway, while learning about that comedy I learned about a latin quote which was defining the main purpose of comedy and it went like "ridendo castigat mores", which means by laughing we correct our mistakes. This quote was back since the roman era and it proves that the comedy we learned took inspiration from the classical era.
    I actually learned stuff at school lol.

  • @AnantVyas
    @AnantVyas ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Thanks Joe. You and the team, you guys make great videos.

  • @PacoTube926
    @PacoTube926 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Love it! Can you do one on the emotion of shame? While it’s very similar to that feeling of embarrassment, there’s something about shame that’s somehow even worse.

  • @Wmann
    @Wmann ปีที่แล้ว +3

    How I see it is in short:
    The bad feelings we have are just a way for us to avoid bad things, even if they can also lead us to them

  • @firebladetenn6633
    @firebladetenn6633 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I wouldn’t mind if you made a video explaining something like how epilepsy works? What makes the person jitter and shake? You don’t let someone go to sleep after they hit their head, but you have to let someone go to sleep immediately after a seizure? What can cause it to start happening to someone who never had the problem before? Why haven’t doctors found a way to heal it? Or even find the cause for it normally? How long has it been acknowledged as a disability or medical/ neurological problem?
    I know at least 3 people with epilepsy but the doctors I’ve talked to are busy and give quick answers I just never understand. You make things easier to understand and more fun to learn.
    I’d love to learn more about it.
    But mostly because I am one of those three people and I wanna know why and how about my problem. It might end up helping my other friends too.

  • @zogar8526
    @zogar8526 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I know not everything is a Rick and Morty reference. But man is it hard to see someone walking around in a pickle suit and not think "I'm pickle Rick!!!!!"

  • @adarmus4768
    @adarmus4768 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Stay humble and accept you are a fallible being and you are less likely to be embarrassed. We all screw up at times.

  • @Beryllahawk
    @Beryllahawk ปีที่แล้ว +12

    All I can say is
    This ep started, with Joe walking around Austin in a pickle suit, and my FIRST THOUGHT was
    "if my dad shows up in this I'm going to expire"
    (HIGHLY UNLIKELY)

  • @markwentz8332
    @markwentz8332 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    *"LOOK AT ME! I'M PICKLE JOE!"* 😆

  • @izlotus
    @izlotus ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Definitely agree from this conclusion. As it does correlate towards empathy I also think it brings a question out of people and make them angry with those acts of integrity. I also think there’s this idea that people think either too little or too high for themselves and which falls in line for how we express ourselves and where that usually lands. Thank you for this video I grew up thinking about this a lot.

  • @pioneeringworks
    @pioneeringworks ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Saw this entire video like more than an HOUR because I had to contemplate on the ideas.

  • @go_guerrero
    @go_guerrero ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I don´t often get embarrassed but when I do is either a mistake and get flustered or I do something on purpose but my body turns red but I don´t really feel embarrassed and people call me on it and I just think "I would do it again"

  • @Sugarglidergirl101
    @Sugarglidergirl101 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    11:55 omg I basically had this EXACT embarrassing situation lol. My bf is Japanese and the first time I went to Japan and met his parents I obviously took my shoes off at his house, I was completely aware. His mom then invited me to her studio and dumb ole me completely forgot about my shoes. I guess I subconsciously had the thought in my head that it was technically a workspace so I went on autopilot? Idk but when my boyfriend was like “umm shoes…” I literally felt like I was going to pass out, throw up, or both lol.

  • @SilverSlugs16
    @SilverSlugs16 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Oh man. One time when I was 12 ish I was walking out of the Journal Square train station - this is a very big terminal in Jersey City that gets a lot of traffic from New York City. And it around 6 pm the week of Christmas so tons of people coming in for the holidays. Right before going up the stairs I fell forward, straight up just flat on my face. Obviously whole rush hour crowd staring at me. I wanted to disappear

    • @diceyDA
      @diceyDA ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Demn. You were a kid at the time though , so probably not as embarrassing as it would now ig.

    • @n1ppe
      @n1ppe ปีที่แล้ว +1

      So you just fell? What's embarassing about that?

  • @hacked2123
    @hacked2123 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Embarrassment is the self-aware discontent for one's current state of being after actions we feel were out of our control.

  • @lindareed8265
    @lindareed8265 16 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I'm so impressed with how intelligent and thoughtful the people's responses were about possible purposes for embarrassment.

  • @elin_
    @elin_ ปีที่แล้ว +2

    In Sweden we most often don't wear shoes indoors either. If we do, it's shoes that we only use indoors.

  • @Erik-pu4mj
    @Erik-pu4mj ปีที่แล้ว +5

    8:28 Cringe comedy is not funny to me, it's painful.
    It gets so bad I have to stop watching things sometimes--take a break and maybe come back.

  • @jasonmatthewoliver3810
    @jasonmatthewoliver3810 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I love embarrassing moments. They remind us to be humble and that we're all just human at the end of the day.

  • @igorastral4816
    @igorastral4816 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hi Joe!
    This was an amazing content! Never thought about this emotion a lot and now you brought more knowledge to my knowing. Thank you for the amazing Job you and your crew are doing!!!
    Best regards from Russia !

  • @darkpvpgamer3422
    @darkpvpgamer3422 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thanks bro

  • @juantamez9442
    @juantamez9442 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I'm embarrassed about everything I say and do, and even how I look in social settings...so I try to avoid it altogether lol

    • @pigeondance
      @pigeondance ปีที่แล้ว +2

      as a person who felt exactly like this for most of their life: this is not normal and it can ruin your life!! pls consider getting help somehow!!
      to me personally getting therapy helped, also studying psychology a bit, and getting into improv.
      plus there's a book that helped me a lot, i think it's called "the antidote: happiness for people who can't stand positive thinking". it has some questionable takes, but handles the embarrassment and social anxiety topic very well.
      have a great day! 💗

    • @juantamez9442
      @juantamez9442 ปีที่แล้ว

      @free loonaur 🌙 it's actually not as bad as I make it out to be...in professional settings anyway. I'm stern, eloquent, and upfront at work. I'll speak to anyone and everyone to get what I need. I'll have stern and disciplinary discussions with my employees to put them in line. I'll stand up for my crew against the "higher ups" and clients that could fire us with the snap of their fingers. I'll even speak in front of large crowds for presentations and whatnot.
      Outside of work is a completely different story. I feel like my presence is offensive to everyone. I can't force myself to talk to strangers, let alone try to initiate any kind of friendship. I'm unworthy of every girl I'm attracted to and always convince myself that they can do better than me. I level myself with the scum of the earth and avoid social settings to relieve people of the burden of my presence.
      I have considered seeking therapy, but my line of work has me traveling the country regularly and working a rotating schedule between nights and days. To say it would be difficult to incorporate regular therapy into my life would be an understatement.
      Thank you for reaching out to me. I'll look into this book you recommended.

    • @pigeondance
      @pigeondance ปีที่แล้ว

      @@juantamez9442 man, super respectfully, you are strange. o__o how can you be so different at work and not at work, what kind of super power is that??? i wish i could do that too.
      i'm glad that you can do that and at least one of your life areas has it figured out! but still, maybe you can do something to make your personal life better too. because the way you described it, it IS bad. you deserve to tolerate and like yourself!!!! and to have a support system of loved ones.
      speaking if which, when i struggled with social anxiety the most, it also helped me to hang out with people who had the same problem as me. imagine two extremely anxious idiots together in public.... that was me and my close friend at the time. 😅😅😅 but i noticed that sometimes having another person near gave me strengh and energy to perform better in social situations.
      you know, i'm scared of some insects, and if i discover a wasp in my room when i'm alone there, i get so scared that my soul leaves my body lol. but if i have someone with me in that room, like my younger brother, for example, i get the courage to chase the wasp out of the room to "protect" him, even though i'm still very scared. same with social anxiety! sometimes when i felt like my friend was struggling to do something in public, i did the thing for her and felt more confident in that moment, and vice versa. plus even if i made a fool of myself, i had a person to laugh about it with afterwards. so consider finding some people who feel like you do maybe? on the Internet, in support groups, etc.
      and also i've seen a video recently about loneliness and why it's bad for people's mental health. i'm lonely as well nowadays, and that doesn't help lol. i'll look for it and send you the link if i find it.
      also also having pets helps. i understand that with your work schedule it's probably impossible, but maybe you can find a way to interact with animals from time to time. it's pretty therapeutic and can give you more topics to discuss with people!
      idk what else to suggest.... i'll think of some other things maybe! sorry for the long comment + grammar 💀

    • @juantamez9442
      @juantamez9442 ปีที่แล้ว

      @free loonaur 🌙 it's not really a super power, it's more like a sense of duty kinda. I get paid well to do what I do, and I'm going to do it regardless of who I have to confront. I approach people because I have a purpose, and that gives me the confidence I need to talk and negotiate with them.
      I have no directive or purpose when I come across anyone in person. I freeze up when I try to say something, and then I'll hate myself for how awkward I made the situation. If I'm in a large crowd, I'll get this overwhelming feeling of anxiety.
      It's actually not hard for me to talk to girls when I have to talk to them. If they're cashiers, waitresses, nurses, or anyone I have to interact with to get what I need. I can make them smile and laugh, but I wouldn't dare take it past that. I'll convince myself that I'm trying to make something out of something that is not there. They'll smile because customer service is their job. They'll laugh because they're working for a better gratuity. It's just part of their job.
      I also have pets, actually. Back home, my sister and my mom are taking care of my husky and pomeranian. I visit them as often as I can, but if I'm being honest, they're more hers than they are mine now.
      You're fortunate to have close friends, I recommend you do what you can to try to keep them around. Also, it kinda sounds like your paternal instincts kick in when you're around your little brother. I would have that same protective mentality around my little sisters and my older brother, too, but I've never really been afraid of anything.

  • @fawfulgamer5721
    @fawfulgamer5721 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    This is going to be embarrassing 😳

  • @keyakeswani1193
    @keyakeswani1193 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Excellent Excellent brilliant content!
    Loved it

  • @gf4453
    @gf4453 ปีที่แล้ว

    Excellent video!

  • @lyzzee6143
    @lyzzee6143 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    i live in austin . . . this makes me wish i regularly went downtown just on the off chance i’d been around to see you walking around in that pickle suit 😂

  • @AlmostEthical
    @AlmostEthical ปีที่แล้ว +77

    Well done, Pickle Hank. I see simple emotions as the language with which our bodies communicate to our minds to do something. Complex emotions like embarrassment are more layered, a communication from the mind to either itself or the body to do something.
    Errata: Joe, not Hank. Sorry Joe. (thanks to Vince)

    • @vincelamb4063
      @vincelamb4063 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Pickle *Joe* but I'm sure a lot of people confuse him with Hank Green, so don't feel TOO embarrassed.

    • @AlmostEthical
      @AlmostEthical ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ​@@vincelamb4063 Hah! I stuffed that one up.

    • @JetstreamGW
      @JetstreamGW ปีที่แล้ว

      @@vincelamb4063 Didn't SciShow just do a video about exactly that thing a while ago? :D

    • @billgreen1861
      @billgreen1861 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@vincelamb4063
      Joe and Hank, have a friendly competition going on for a while. For example ; Joe, has said directly to the camera " try debunking this, Hank " regarding something he ( Joe) was explaining. Just saying !

    • @HappilyAnonymousGirl
      @HappilyAnonymousGirl ปีที่แล้ว

      How embarrassing 😜😂 lol jk

  • @cloud4323
    @cloud4323 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Huh...My hypothesis was correct after all.
    Thanks for confirming it Joe!

  • @dudewithbasicpfp2439
    @dudewithbasicpfp2439 ปีที่แล้ว

    Amazing video.
    You guys manage to make educational videos entertaining too which is really good thanks

  • @virenderbhardwaj3137
    @virenderbhardwaj3137 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Please do a video about why a strike/hit on any body part hurts more when it's cold?

  • @housellama
    @housellama ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I did a LOT of work on positive psych and empathy during my Master's. I would have gone straight for the "Social behavior is an evolutionary advantage" answer for why we feel embarrassment. We are so hardwired for empathy that it's just WILD. Sympathetic embarrassment is just one example but there are dozens of others.

  • @MrAqr2598
    @MrAqr2598 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    11:51~ Oh gosh, that's cringey indeed.
    Cheers from Japan.

  • @drawingarts6424
    @drawingarts6424 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    being embarrassed is such a TH-cam thing to do

  • @joshuabrigden4820
    @joshuabrigden4820 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    IT saying "They ALL FLOAT?", made me sad 🤣

  • @manarieredar2901
    @manarieredar2901 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great info about a complex emotion... I love how you don't stick to a theme and randomly talk about different stuff like this...

  • @alexander-ui5bf
    @alexander-ui5bf ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Bro the stuff i learned from your videos was better and more than the 5 years of online medical university

  • @abyanchowdhury1667
    @abyanchowdhury1667 ปีที่แล้ว

    love this!!!

  • @junkonatsumizaka5149
    @junkonatsumizaka5149 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I loved the pickle costume, and this video. Thanks!

  • @Zero-4793
    @Zero-4793 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    embarrassment and cringe feel like different things to me

  • @kauanmossonzaianz3552
    @kauanmossonzaianz3552 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great video

  • @cyankirkpatrick5194
    @cyankirkpatrick5194 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Sometimes it can backfire and wind up hurting more than just you when someone embarrasses you like a mass shooting after a firing at work.

  • @mathilyaacoub4601
    @mathilyaacoub4601 ปีที่แล้ว

    Embarrassment to me is something that I will immediately regret and or wish I never saw / did smthg

  • @CocoBeingCoco
    @CocoBeingCoco ปีที่แล้ว

    I performed on a stage and was so nervous I messed up and blurted sorry. Thank you for making me know that embarrassment is a good thing to feel.

  • @MrEHD-fj1bz
    @MrEHD-fj1bz ปีที่แล้ว +4

    a video like this but about cringe will help

  • @amirsafari7140
    @amirsafari7140 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    We like strong individuals, when you look at a strong and confident person it gives you a sense of relief i think if you trace this feeling in evolution it's because strong person can be a good support, so because of this,a weak person that do mistakes gives us a bad feeling, when somebody do an embarrassing thing it looks to us they are losers and unreliable, we need strong people to increase iur survival rate, so we don't like mistakes, and when people don't like mistakes so you don't want to do mistakes to apear good to them and they accept you, maybe the evolution origin of embarrassment is because of this

  • @crewrangergaming9582
    @crewrangergaming9582 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    9:08 "sky is blue, water is wet and fire is hot"

  • @Y0uTube_User_1
    @Y0uTube_User_1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    this content is so helpful for me. thank Be Smart !

  • @CoffeeAndDaydreaming
    @CoffeeAndDaydreaming 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great vid!