Been through medical detox twice. The delusions i experienced were horrifying, three months sober, i'm 27, nothing scares me more than the thought of it happening again.
You're not long winded at all. We love your videos. I have relapsed again, I'm down to my last beer right now after a 3 day binge. I am terrified because I know what's coming; the nightmares, shaking, feeling of impending death. But your videos offer some comfort, because I know I'm not the only one who has experienced this, and I'll get through it.
Sorry to hear you reset the clock harry. Try doing what I'm doing: point a camera at your face and put everything you're experiencing on video. Then watch it back whenever you need to. That's what my videos are about: I'm talking to me. That has helped me.
I appreciate your intelligence and honesty. Im coming through a three week binge and petrified.. body and mind is hurting. Your videos are helping so much
Thank you Melissa, that means a lot. Don't be afraid to head to a hospital or a clinic or something if you think it's necessary. Good luck, keep us posted.
Rings like a psychologically complex bullet that we have both survived its hollow point. Your descriptions are like for like with what I experienced in Jan of 2023. Obviously the “journey” we travel during these moments vary in different visuals and how we dealt with them physically, but most of this is quite relative to many people who undergo this experience. We’ve got to pat ourselves on the back for surviving this, as not everyone does. When I think back of the initial feeling of entering the realm of delusions/delirium tremens, there are only few words to describe its haunting air. Sort of an apocalyptic dream state drowned in a bleak psyche/horror movie. Separating what was delusion and reality seemed to come easier as I recalled the events. I felt hopeless rethinking of the events of the DT’s. You’re kind of trapped and have to play them out/let them unfold as you watch in fear. Very glad I found this channel. Have been sober for 11 months and recently felt some cravings. Thanks for making this page. Looking forward to seeing more.
I appreciate this video , I also ended up in a phyc ward and I can tell you it was the worst experience of my life. Been sober 15 months and never going back
You were my 200th Sub - and I consider that a proper noun. I dig your videos. The only time I have been delusional was the two times I had alcoholic hallucinosis in that awful treatment center. Keep up the good work! Wanking in the psych ward. The only thing that caused that was Gabapentin. I had that weird stuff happen where I built this plot in my mind about what was going on.
Believe me I want to, if it was up to me every episode would by 12 hours long. But I don't have enough camera batteries. Thanks for the compliment, and congratulations on your long sober time!
Speaking of insomnia, I've had it last WEEKS after acute withdrawal was over. I'm talking 40 or so days after stopping drinking I would wake up like clockwork at 1 or 2 am and that would be it, I wouldn't get back to sleep until morning and have to face the day on 2 hours or so of sleep. Absolute torture and the main deterrent for me in terms of relapse. I'm not giving my sleep up again.
I'm glad somebody is talking about the ridiculous sexual arousal that comes with alcohol withdrawal! 😁I've always wondered why this is the case?!? It's probably the only "fun" part of the process!
Oh man I REALLY want to talk about that at length but my parents watch these things hahaha! But yeah, it's really interesting to me, and no one ever mentions it. And you're right, the only good thing about withdrawal is being able to orgasm 7 times in a day.
I am an experienced psychonaut with casual familiarity with all manner of hallucinations-- from walls breathing to closed-eye encounters with interdimensional beings. No hallucination compares to what you'll encounter during delirium tremens. I picked up an unshakeable belief that death is actually a sentient black hole, because I met him, and that's why time dilation is so extreme during DT-- because he's so near, for so long. I'm an otherwise totally "sane" person with very few supernatural beliefs, but my hallucinogenic delusion was so utterly convincing that I'll probably carry that belief forever. How long was I in DTs? It felt like a lifetime; I saw infinity completely involuntarily every time I closed my eyes. DTs changed me the way Inception changes people in the movie, no bullshit. edit: norovirus absolutely feels like dying, and demands that you make your peace with that. no delusion needed, lol.
Yeah! No one will understand it if they haven't experienced it, and they'll think you're crazy if you explain it in those terms. But that is what it's like. Like you, I'm not a very spiritual person, but DTs left a big conceptual footprint on me, and I think of it in those terms too.
This was another great video. You are, as I'm sure you're well aware, an excelent story teller. Please don't ever listen to the adhd mob about the length of your videos. For me and, I'm sure, for the majority of your subscribers, the longer the better. Thank you for this and all videos you've posted so far. It's 11:07 am here in Macau, and I'm on my 3rd shot of Jim Beam. I need help, and your work provides it. Believe me. Thanks, brother.
I had a powerful delusional episode as well. I had been drinking heavily for 10 years. I don't remember how I ended up in the hospital, but woke up in a hospital bed. Doctors came in to talk to me, told me I had had an alcohol withdraw episode. They gave me some sort of medication. I was convinced they were plotting to take over my mind. I vividly remember looking into a small mirror on the wall in my hospital room, and seeing my reflection and noticing my face moving, distorting and hideous looking. Dark rings under my eyes, my skin green, as if I was possessed. There was my proof I was being taken over by the doctors. I told myself they're not going to get me, saw the window in my room, desperate to escape, I forced the window open and jumped out. Lucky for me, it was only a 10ft. drop. The poor guy I shared the room with was terrified, and called for help. Two rather large men in white coats found me walking down the road, and ushered me back to the hospital where they chained me to the bed. I believed it was real, it so clear in my mind, seeing my face in the mirror, it all made perfect sense to me. It was a very scary experience I'm fortunate to have survived, and lived to tell the tale. That was in 1990, I was 30 years old.
Congrats on your time, and on your name which gave me a chuckle. Yeah those first couple of weeks are literally life-changingly bad. Put that experience to work to keep yourself quit. Keep us updated!
@@_BatCountry Thanks for the kind reply old chum! This time is different, I said a sound 'goobye' to booze this time and it broke my heart but like you say - remembering the detox is part of the armoury. All the best to you! Onwards, upwards, not sideways ;)
@@jbenz1990 Thank you friend :) Day 43 today. Still have to remind myself every morning that there will be no drinking today. I am going through a phase of over eating now, which I never really did. I seem to crave a lot of cakes and sugary things. Can't stop drinking endless coffee (decaf thankfully). My guess is that I was getting a lot of sugar from booze - spiced rum, coke, beer, etc. I may have dodged the wet house, but I feel like I'll end up on my 600lb life ;)
@@krispysox I hear you on that. I’ve seen people on TH-cam say they lost weight when they stopped drinking I’ve actually gained weight due to eating a lot. We overeat because we’re trying to compensate for that desire of drinking. It’s like we eat more to fill in something that’s lost
I just want to say Thank you for existing and for making these honest in depth and educational videos. For the first time I'm hearing these things talked about and I feel so so seen. Going through severe alcohol withdrawal is the most brutal and terrifying thing I have and will ever do.. and I myself have also had a fair few of those in my life. A huge one for me was coming down after a week or so just jack Daniels straight from the bottle, I quit cold turkey and my own bedroom was the most terrifying place to be in... so I honestly have no idea how you made it through some of the terrifying situations you were in whilst dealing with anything like that. It just goes to show how resilient and brave us humans can be. I would love to talk to you about your experiences and mine if you ever wanted to and had the time! Otherwise no problem, I support you and your channel and I'm so thankful I found your videos 🦇
Thanks for the comment Robyn, that means a lot to me. And yeah, while all the crazy locations I was in were scary, it's always alone in your room where it's worst, because there, it's nothing but you and your own mind.
No problem, yes it can unfortunately feel like a completely terrifying place just in your own mind whilst going through this. I hope your feeling better you sound so brilliant in everything you say. It gives me hope that I can be maybe in your position, discussing my own experiences for others because It was helped me so much today hearing yours... also the tapering video made me so emotional because I have fought and fought for any kind of help from professionals and wondered why and is there something seriously wrong with me.. but nope, all of are brains are completely different and as you said everyone's experience with this is relative and unique to them personally. Even just that is helpful in itself. You have a great day man, you have made mine feel a lot better anyway!
I've had similar things happen to me. Whole stories that seem so real and terrifying. Only thing is mine happen while im on the drink, not afterwards. Severe delusional thinking brought on by the alcohol but at the time. It's horrible and has spoiled a lot of my life.
@@_BatCountry first Bukowski book I read, "you get so alone it just makes sense.." they call them poems but right from the start, to me they were songs, one after another, & this guy's voice, so understatedly outrageous, & even tho im sober now I still love hearing Hank!
I’ve had delusional rip downs are used to see a big fat black Teletubby with one eye in the middle of his head and to this day I’ve no idea weather things happened or I was delirium tremens it’s terrifying
Hey Ian! This is gonna sound crazy but that black Teletubby thing you're describing is common to delirium tremens hallucinations: some people call it the Shadow Man, other's call it Hat Man because they often see him wearing a hat. I've seen him too, I talked about him in my delirium tremens video a while back. I'm not trying to imply that he's a real, just that he's like a recurring feature of DT hallucinations. And yeah, seeing it comes with a paralysing type of fear. Thanks for the comment mate.
@@_BatCountry for the last 5 years ov my drinking and drug taking there was a picture in my mums front room were the dog on the leed used to hump his leg I used to drink again to get rid ov the terrible thoughts I’m now cuming up to 5 years sober 👍
@@_BatCountry If your reservation is about anonymity, I understand. The biggest 12-step program does require anonymity at the public level, if you’re part of the Fellowship.
I was a hard liquor guy, so usually vodka, straight from the bottle. If I was feeling particularly self-destructive, I liked to go to an Asian store and buy Baijiu, a very strong Chinese spirit. And you?
Dude, enough already... Don't go Dirk Delirium path. You survived such beatings... You're a great talker and a good human being, you have a lot to give. Hope you find what you're looking for in life.
So the question is do you?.. Do you have it in you to realize f the white dress wearing lady. Its your nervous system pal thats why its the scariest. Are you ready
Been through medical detox twice. The delusions i experienced were horrifying, three months sober, i'm 27, nothing scares me more than the thought of it happening again.
Congrats on your time Robbie. Put those horrible experiences to work: use them to keep you sober. Keep us updated mate.
Stay at it brother, it only gets worse in your 30s I can attest to that. 👊
You're not long winded at all. We love your videos. I have relapsed again, I'm down to my last beer right now after a 3 day binge. I am terrified because I know what's coming; the nightmares, shaking, feeling of impending death. But your videos offer some comfort, because I know I'm not the only one who has experienced this, and I'll get through it.
Sorry to hear you reset the clock harry. Try doing what I'm doing: point a camera at your face and put everything you're experiencing on video. Then watch it back whenever you need to. That's what my videos are about: I'm talking to me. That has helped me.
We Love Bat Country !!!~~ You are Never long winded !!!!~~~~ ♥♥♥
I appreciate your intelligence and honesty. Im coming through a three week binge and petrified.. body and mind is hurting. Your videos are helping so much
Thank you Melissa, that means a lot. Don't be afraid to head to a hospital or a clinic or something if you think it's necessary. Good luck, keep us posted.
Your videos are always comfy
Thanks so much! That is genuinely the tone I'm going for.
Rings like a psychologically complex bullet that we have both survived its hollow point. Your descriptions are like for like with what I experienced in Jan of 2023. Obviously the “journey” we travel during these moments vary in different visuals and how we dealt with them physically, but most of this is quite relative to many people who undergo this experience. We’ve got to pat ourselves on the back for surviving this, as not everyone does.
When I think back of the initial feeling of entering the realm of delusions/delirium tremens, there are only few words to describe its haunting air. Sort of an apocalyptic dream state drowned in a bleak psyche/horror movie. Separating what was delusion and reality seemed to come easier as I recalled the events. I felt hopeless rethinking of the events of the DT’s. You’re kind of trapped and have to play them out/let them unfold as you watch in fear.
Very glad I found this channel. Have been sober for 11 months and recently felt some cravings. Thanks for making this page. Looking forward to seeing more.
I appreciate this video , I also ended up in a phyc ward and I can tell you it was the worst experience of my life. Been sober 15 months and never going back
You were my 200th Sub - and I consider that a proper noun. I dig your videos. The only time I have been delusional was the two times I had alcoholic hallucinosis in that awful treatment center. Keep up the good work! Wanking in the psych ward. The only thing that caused that was Gabapentin. I had that weird stuff happen where I built this plot in my mind about what was going on.
Look out for my forthcoming autobiography, Wanking In The Psych Ward.
I dig your stuff too, I watched your new one about nutrition. It's good stuff.
Professor Stu make your talk 2 hours long. The accent is so musical & the learning, valuable. i am sober nearly 25 years --
Believe me I want to, if it was up to me every episode would by 12 hours long. But I don't have enough camera batteries.
Thanks for the compliment, and congratulations on your long sober time!
@@_BatCountry Thank you.
Speaking of insomnia, I've had it last WEEKS after acute withdrawal was over. I'm talking 40 or so days after stopping drinking I would wake up like clockwork at 1 or 2 am and that would be it, I wouldn't get back to sleep until morning and have to face the day on 2 hours or so of sleep. Absolute torture and the main deterrent for me in terms of relapse. I'm not giving my sleep up again.
I'm glad somebody is talking about the ridiculous sexual arousal that comes with alcohol withdrawal! 😁I've always wondered why this is the case?!? It's probably the only "fun" part of the process!
Oh man I REALLY want to talk about that at length but my parents watch these things hahaha! But yeah, it's really interesting to me, and no one ever mentions it. And you're right, the only good thing about withdrawal is being able to orgasm 7 times in a day.
@@_BatCountry LOL!
I am an experienced psychonaut with casual familiarity with all manner of hallucinations-- from walls breathing to closed-eye encounters with interdimensional beings. No hallucination compares to what you'll encounter during delirium tremens. I picked up an unshakeable belief that death is actually a sentient black hole, because I met him, and that's why time dilation is so extreme during DT-- because he's so near, for so long. I'm an otherwise totally "sane" person with very few supernatural beliefs, but my hallucinogenic delusion was so utterly convincing that I'll probably carry that belief forever. How long was I in DTs? It felt like a lifetime; I saw infinity completely involuntarily every time I closed my eyes. DTs changed me the way Inception changes people in the movie, no bullshit.
edit: norovirus absolutely feels like dying, and demands that you make your peace with that. no delusion needed, lol.
Yeah! No one will understand it if they haven't experienced it, and they'll think you're crazy if you explain it in those terms. But that is what it's like. Like you, I'm not a very spiritual person, but DTs left a big conceptual footprint on me, and I think of it in those terms too.
Nice vibe but the background music is distracting sometimes..
Awesome video brother, thank you. 🙏🏻
Dude your channel is really awesome and thanks a ton for sharing. Keep going and keep taking care man.
Thank you sutekh!
This was another great video. You are, as I'm sure you're well aware, an excelent story teller. Please don't ever listen to the adhd mob about the length of your videos. For me and, I'm sure, for the majority of your subscribers, the longer the better.
Thank you for this and all videos you've posted so far.
It's 11:07 am here in Macau, and I'm on my 3rd shot of Jim Beam.
I need help, and your work provides it. Believe me.
Thanks, brother.
I had a powerful delusional episode as well. I had been drinking heavily for 10 years. I don't remember how I ended up in the hospital, but woke up in a hospital bed. Doctors came in to talk to me, told me I had had an alcohol withdraw episode. They gave me some sort of medication. I was convinced they were plotting to take over my mind. I vividly remember looking into a small mirror on the wall in my hospital room, and seeing my reflection and noticing my face moving, distorting and hideous looking. Dark rings under my eyes, my skin green, as if I was possessed. There was my proof I was being taken over by the doctors. I told myself they're not going to get me, saw the window in my room, desperate to escape, I forced the window open and jumped out. Lucky for me, it was only a 10ft. drop. The poor guy I shared the room with was terrified, and called for help. Two rather large men in white coats found me walking down the road, and ushered me back to the hospital where they chained me to the bed. I believed it was real, it so clear in my mind, seeing my face in the mirror, it all made perfect sense to me. It was a very scary experience I'm fortunate to have survived, and lived to tell the tale. That was in 1990, I was 30 years old.
I thought this only happened to me, thanks for your video ❤️
Day 31 dry here. The first 14 were horrific. Still not totally right but determined to never go back, after over 30 years of hard drinking.
Congrats on your time, and on your name which gave me a chuckle.
Yeah those first couple of weeks are literally life-changingly bad. Put that experience to work to keep yourself quit. Keep us updated!
@@_BatCountry Thanks for the kind reply old chum! This time is different, I said a sound 'goobye' to booze this time and it broke my heart but like you say - remembering the detox is part of the armoury. All the best to you! Onwards, upwards, not sideways ;)
Hang in there at some point between 60-90 days you’ll feel normal again the first month is tough as shit you’ll see soon
@@jbenz1990 Thank you friend :) Day 43 today. Still have to remind myself every morning that there will be no drinking today.
I am going through a phase of over eating now, which I never really did. I seem to crave a lot of cakes and sugary things. Can't stop drinking endless coffee (decaf thankfully). My guess is that I was getting a lot of sugar from booze - spiced rum, coke, beer, etc.
I may have dodged the wet house, but I feel like I'll end up on my 600lb life ;)
@@krispysox I hear you on that. I’ve seen people on TH-cam say they lost weight when they stopped drinking I’ve actually gained weight due to eating a lot. We overeat because we’re trying to compensate for that desire of drinking. It’s like we eat more to fill in something that’s lost
I just want to say Thank you for existing and for making these honest in depth and educational videos. For the first time I'm hearing these things talked about and I feel so so seen. Going through severe alcohol withdrawal is the most brutal and terrifying thing I have and will ever do.. and I myself have also had a fair few of those in my life. A huge one for me was coming down after a week or so just jack Daniels straight from the bottle, I quit cold turkey and my own bedroom was the most terrifying place to be in... so I honestly have no idea how you made it through some of the terrifying situations you were in whilst dealing with anything like that. It just goes to show how resilient and brave us humans can be. I would love to talk to you about your experiences and mine if you ever wanted to and had the time! Otherwise no problem, I support you and your channel and I'm so thankful I found your videos 🦇
Thanks for the comment Robyn, that means a lot to me. And yeah, while all the crazy locations I was in were scary, it's always alone in your room where it's worst, because there, it's nothing but you and your own mind.
No problem, yes it can unfortunately feel like a completely terrifying place just in your own mind whilst going through this. I hope your feeling better you sound so brilliant in everything you say. It gives me hope that I can be maybe in your position, discussing my own experiences for others because It was helped me so much today hearing yours... also the tapering video made me so emotional because I have fought and fought for any kind of help from professionals and wondered why and is there something seriously wrong with me.. but nope, all of are brains are completely different and as you said everyone's experience with this is relative and unique to them personally. Even just that is helpful in itself. You have a great day man, you have made mine feel a lot better anyway!
I honestly would love it even if your videos were over an hour tbh
Don't tempt me....
Wow really in depth video. You have a real testimony and some of the most insightful sobriety videos on TH-cam ❤
I've had similar things happen to me. Whole stories that seem so real and terrifying. Only thing is mine happen while im on the drink, not afterwards. Severe delusional thinking brought on by the alcohol but at the time. It's horrible and has spoiled a lot of my life.
that, btw,(@15:50) is good writing, short sweet poignant
lyrical..☆☆☆☆
make great intro/ opening line..poem, prose or song.
Thanks! These experiences do lend themselves to songwriting - I actually wrote one for another band that was recorded. I'll see if I can dig it out.
@@_BatCountry
first Bukowski book I read, "you get so alone it just makes sense.." they call them poems but right from the start, to me they were songs, one after another,
& this guy's voice, so understatedly outrageous,
& even tho im sober now I still love hearing Hank!
This is educational thanks
Your videos are really good as is, honestly
Ah thank you Siouxsie, I appreciate that! Look out for my next video, a 26 hour film of me staring intensely at a bottle of beer.
I’ve had delusional rip downs are used to see a big fat black Teletubby with one eye in the middle of his head and to this day I’ve no idea weather things happened or I was delirium tremens it’s terrifying
Hey Ian!
This is gonna sound crazy but that black Teletubby thing you're describing is common to delirium tremens hallucinations: some people call it the Shadow Man, other's call it Hat Man because they often see him wearing a hat.
I've seen him too, I talked about him in my delirium tremens video a while back. I'm not trying to imply that he's a real, just that he's like a recurring feature of DT hallucinations. And yeah, seeing it comes with a paralysing type of fear.
Thanks for the comment mate.
@@_BatCountry for the last 5 years ov my drinking and drug taking there was a picture in my mums front room were the dog on the leed used to hump his leg I used to drink again to get rid ov the terrible thoughts I’m now cuming up to 5 years sober 👍
It seems that alcohol detox wards in Finland or at least in Helsinki are better than there. Usually the food is not that bad.
Overnight fan.
Thanks Neil!
Thank you for sharing this
Thanks Mauro, I hope you found it insightful.
What's the name of your book mate I'd love to read it
Ah thanks! It's called Just Crazy Enough To Work, by Stu Nugent. It's an Amazon.
"Keep comin' back!" 😉 Maybe you can share your experience with a 12-step program, if you have any.
Yeah I think I'll do that soon. It's a pretty sensitive subject, I'm a bit scared to talk about it publicly - but that's probably why I should, right?
@@_BatCountry If your reservation is about anonymity, I understand. The biggest 12-step program does require anonymity at the public level, if you’re part of the Fellowship.
What was ur alcohol of choice?
I was a hard liquor guy, so usually vodka, straight from the bottle. If I was feeling particularly self-destructive, I liked to go to an Asian store and buy Baijiu, a very strong Chinese spirit. And you?
What ars u all about..
I have no problem with your "long windedness" I'm inno hurry. Go at your pace.
Glad to hear it, thank you :)
Dude, enough already... Don't go Dirk Delirium path. You survived such beatings... You're a great talker and a good human being, you have a lot to give. Hope you find what you're looking for in life.
I'm doing ok buddy. Plenty more people out there doing worse than me
Hey he's doing just fine kilerf8053 he's just explaining his stories in life
Stay "Long winded"
Thank you, I intend to.
So the question is do you?.. Do you have it in you to realize f the white dress wearing lady. Its your nervous system pal thats why its the scariest. Are you ready
Have you ever witnessed a person in alcohol DT's or delusions where they think they have parasites, worms or bugs in their body?
I've experienced it myself, ants crawling out of my pores.