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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ม.ค. 2018
- Hey Beautiful People
Thank so much for watching. The coming videos are going to be difficult to watch but I'm just doing this to show my experience and express myself in some form. Make my voice heard in some part of the world.
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Medically stable doesn't mean nothing is wrong. It means you not at an immediate risk of death. For example, say someone is in a car accident and they break three ribs. Once they are sure those ribs have not punctured a lung or something, they are considered medically stable. They aren't okay. They just aren't going die in the near future. Does that make sense? Sorry, some of this medical jargon is unclear to a layperson. They probably should have explained better. I hope you're doing better, hun. You seem like a really nice person. Hang in there.
Perv
Getting tubed is my biggest fear it terrifies me. It looks painful and I have low pain tolerance
It's not too bad of you just swallow whole they insert it. The only very uncomfortable part is when they get up to the point up in your nose, before the tube turns downward into your throat. It can cause a sore throat though, especially the first days. But it's definitely survivable. I always asked if I could insert it myself and that was definitely better than getting it done by someome, it's not complicated at all once you get a feeling for it.
It sucks being tubed! Once it's in, it's ok, but it's painful to have it placed. You have to swallow water to help the tube down your throat and into your stomach. And I always choke on the tube when its going down. Not to mention the tube that the back of your throat. I kept swallowing because I felt like I was choking. It's not fun at all!
before i got tubed, i ask the nurse if it would hurt. he just said it might be uncomfortable but it’s not painful and i’d get used to it, so i’m like “yeah okay, this is fine.”
it ended up being probably one of the worst things i’ve ever felt, especially bc i have a low pain tolerance as well. but after a few days i did get a bit more used to it, though it still felt very uncomfortable and it kinda hurt to swallow??
It's not too bad. I've been tubed twice. It's uncomfortable going in, but you adjust to it. A lot of people say it hurts their throats, but it hurt my nose the most tbh. Everyone's different, though.
getting tubed does not hurt. it feels uncomfortable bc your body is not used to the foreign object in your throat. DO NOT REMOVE THE TUBE BY YOURSELF. I was so scared of gaining weight that I used to pull my own tube out which just had them putting it back in up to 9 times a week which makes your nasal cavaties very swollen which is when it starts to hurt
It takes a special kind of person to share this experience. I wish you could see how strong/smart/courageous you are.🖤
Oh Shannon. Thank you so much for saying that . It makes me feel better that my vulnerability isn't too harshly judged. You're awesome xox
@@breemorr 😊😘😘😘😘🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌸🌸🌸
I have just came out of hospital on Friday and I have just had the same treatment. NOTHING HAS CHANGED AND IT’S 2021.
🙄
Its so terrible they just flopped you in a bed and discussed where you have to go. People should take it seriously. I hated that feeling, the people who get stabbed and stuff get more immediate care...which makes sense, they are like...physically dying. It just feels like you're shoved aside because you volunteered to recover so they feel you'll be more patient and compliant, or worse, are somebody who craves attention from medical staff and are faking it. Hospitals suck. But theyre necessary.
Dumpling Dipper unfortunately it’s more the system the the actual doctors. From working in the emergency department before there was probably an emergency doctor on the phone ALL DAY trying to get this girl the help she needed by getting her admitted to the right place.
Its so hard to get help in UK. Her mental health team put my schizophrenic auntie with the autism clinic to just get rid of her. If you tell the you want to die they send you home because you didnt actually try they just go well just have some coffee and don't kill yourself 🤪.
Also I suffered with anorexia and spent 6 months in day treatment to regain weight. What you said about the feeding tube not proving an ED is what I’ve wanted to be hearing all this time since. I always had the irrational fear that I didn’t fall far enough to be considered to ‘really’ have an ED. I know that’s wrong but to hear someone actually say that is so strong. Thank you ❤️
sending you strength xoxo
I'm glad you finally heard someone say that, because it's 100% TRUE!
Sorry i’m late but I have the exact same problem because i was never tubed or inpatient at a clinic
Ignorance is bliss, I guess
You've got this, Bree. Like you said, you'll look back at this later and say "I got through that." You WILL get through it and come out stronger on the other side.
That's what I'm hoping Darling Katelyn. We are fighters and we will get through this tough patch of existence. Sending you lots of strength. xoxox
Your eyes are so beautiful!
I was recently diagnosed with anorexia and this video really helped me. It was eye opening to see your experience with the tube. I am going to try to gain the weight back from home. I will keep you and anyone else struggling with an eating disorder in my prayers❣️
It's not right that they made you feel unwanted. ☹️
That's how the medical world goes... If you are stable for a few hours or a day you are alright.
I am so glad that you are here. I lost a friend last year to suicide. I lived in the same house as her, and I went to her funeral. It still hurts so badly. Your immense struggle through pain is saving the pain of so many others who care, and that is why this fight is worth fighting. Sending love; you are worth this ❤️
Thank you for your beautiful message. Thank sounds awful.. sending love to you darling xoxox
A dr willing to order a patient uber eats is someone worth keeping
Lol!!!!! i love this comment.
It makes me happy to see someone so brave to vlog their hospital experience. As someone with an ED that has spent quite a lot of time in a hospital I know how hard this can be. Thank you so much for being so strong and sharing, it’s truly a inspiration to me.
Thank you for sharing xoxo
Just a little something about the feeding tube. Guide wires can be extremely dangerous and cause lots of damage. They are supposed to run it under warm water prior to placing it and take the guide wire out immediately. Also, how she was yanking on it and it wasn’t coming out she should have removed the whole tube bc it could get caught on something and ouch. Glad it wasn’t but just for future reference!
thanks for letting me know this. xoxox hopefully won't need to ever have one again
For this brand, they have water activated lubricant, so flushing a tiny bit of water through before using/after correct placement confirmed will help loosen the wire as well :)
Stay strong angel. You’ve got this and we are here for you. I love you so much! 💕💕💕
Oh my angel I love you so dearly. Thank you for you support.
I know exactly how you feel! I myself suffer with eating disorders and you have such a great mindset compared to many if not most of all sufferers with ED. Obviously you still have a long way to come but you have realised and accepted and persevered and so much more!! You are a fighter I can see it keep going hun I’m always here💓
Thank you so much for sharing xoxo
Hi am so sorry for you this is me 50 years ago .
I went through a lot of things at home my dad used to beat me up for the fun of it, so I stopped eating and lost I lots of weight, and then being taken into hospital and force to eat by tubes it was the worst thing in my life. It’s taken me over 30 years to get myself together and even now all these years later,
I still suffer from not eating very much, but keeping my weight to the right level.
I wish you well and will keep watching you to see how you are getting on sendings my love and hugs to you.
Memories of the first day of having an NG tube. I can still remember the feeling of wanting it to be out asap and not being able to talk, let alone the formula making me involuntary throw up and feel sick for a few days. I still remember the cold feeling when they would flush the tube. I still remember when my tube got blocked and they had to replace it and the trauma I went through because I did not want them to replace it. Bad times
i was in the same hospital, same ward and same room you are in. Going through exactly what you are going through. i truly feel for you :(
sending my love. I hope you reare doing better now
I know it’s been two years since you posted this video so i’ll start with saying that I truly hope you feel better, and if not I hope things get better for you because you seem like such a nice and genuine person, I feel really grateful for this video because im studying to become a nurse and ED recovery is really something that I would like working with since I also had and ED when I was 15 or so and you really showed me how i should definitely not act like and how I should act like when I actually become a nurse, seeing the way you were feeling broke my heart and I do think i’ll always remember it even after im done with nursing school so thank you, again I hope you’re doing well you deserve it❤️
I am so glad you shared these videos. It's refreshing to watch... you are so brave. Such raw emotions, i feel for you. I have suffered with illness and its very hard to cope with. I cannot imagine what you are going through. Keep fighting hun!
I don’t know how I came across your vlog but I’m so sorry your going through this. I have a gtube and a jtube but not for a eating disorder but I do understand how painful and frustrating it is. I’m glad I came across this because you seem like a very sweet and caring person. Keep on fighting your in my Prayers.
Thank you for your beautiful message
Mel B my name is melissa bell lol
amazing how despite what you are going through, you still manage to be so lovely and kind to the hospital staff xx
Watching for the second time around of your hospital vlogs. I really hope you are doing okay hun - you're stronger than you know just by getting this far. Much love xx
People with eating disorders always say "oh, but not eating makes me so powerful" no it does not!!! Not eating leads to having a ng tube forced in, and or you're MADE to gain weight. Far more power in GETTING BETTER!!!
Wishing you the best! Sending you love, strength and positivity. Good for you.
hey bree my name is Alicia fenner and I can so relate to what you are going through because I have struggled with an ED for 16+ years and I am struggling now and am going to get help soon and I am scared but I know its what I need in order to get better :) I cant tell you what an inspiration you are to me with your bravery and how courageous you are for sharing this!! I think its incredibly brave of you and I know exactly what you are going through because I have been to so many hospitals and they have been hell :( You are a strong and beautiful young lady and I know you got this!! Your amazing and so incredible brave!! I just wanted to tell you that you are a huge inspiration to me!! much love to you and hope that you are getting better
Sweet girl your in my thoughts and prayers and as difficult as it may be this video can be so eye opening to so many people and like you said good for you to reflect on. Ever need anything you let me know 💗💗
You look amazing without makeup. I see a brave and resilient person- the kind this world needs more of! I hope this experience affords you motivation to get healthy and keep pushing forward :) cheering for you!!
damn ive never seen such a god damn warrior!
ah my heart.. thank you xoxo
I know how horrible it is waiting forever in emergency. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this and that you’re feeling pain. Please know you deserve love and you deserve a long happy life. Please be strong and focus on self love and getting well. I promise you it’s worth it. 🌸💕
You go girl! Thanks for your courage! Good luck.
I wish you so much courage and strength to get through this - not that you need it because you're flipping incredible. You are so much more than an eating disorder and you deserve so much. Good luck! I can't wait to see you on the other side of all this and being happier and healthier than ever :) x
Thank you for your beautiful message
i'm so proud of you for getting help. and i agree. the first time i got the tube was hands-down the WORST experience of my life. recovery is a long and often bumpy road, but it is possible if you want it. and if you know that you deserve it. and you absolutely do :)
Hey, um I just want to say that you can do this and beat this shitty illness and that you are worth recovery and there is so much to recover for. You are so beautiful 💜
ali G it’s a mental illness...she is sick, therefore it’s an illness.
Thank you for your beautiful message
Bless you and your patience. Wishing you some peace along the journey dove ❤️ 🕊️
OMG girl you are so brave, I know how difficult it is to be in the hospital and fight for recovery but it will get better just keep it up !!!! ;)
Such a beautiful girl💗 stay strong and you can do this! Xoxo💕
I have so much respect for you with you uploading these videos! I hope you're feeling a bit better... can you please update us as to how you are? Sending much love to you 💖 xxx
Hey Bree....I actually just stumbled onto your channel and subscribed....I have Crohn’s so the hospital is like my second home.....so I know your frustration.....hang in there....I find you just charming and adorable....just letting you know you got people really hoping the best for ya... get feeling better so you can get out of that place....all the best from Canada!
wow Kelly. Thank you so much for your comment and thanks for opening up. All the best. I don't know much about Crohns but I know to keep fighting everyday with such a debilitating illness is truly inspiring. You give me strength. xox Sending love
Hey ❤️ my name is Zoe and I‘m 16 years old and I suffer on anorexia.. I just want you to know that you‘re so strong and that I feel with you❤️ You’re such a beautiful young women and I wish you the best😘❤️. Please never give up❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much for being a brace person and posting this.... hope you are feeling better that that day. Love ur tshirts by the way xox
Hey lovely lady, I’m sending you some virtual hugs, you seem like such a nice, grounded person. I’ve had NG tubes a few times, it’s horrible so I know how you feel.
Keep strong, I loved your makeup look, you’re such a pretty girl. Keep your chin up, I’ll be thinking of you, even though I don’t know you. I think when people suffer from similar things, you do feel like you have a connection, so keep vloging so I know how you’re getting on!
😘 Samxxx
Thank you for your beautiful message
@@breemorrhope your all well now?
Just discovered your channel and you are so brave and strong for sharing your journey.Yes you can do this ❤️
you can do this 💚 God bless
Thank you Caitlin. Sending Hugs and Love.
never give up, you got this.
Thank you for this, I can’t express through words right now how heart invoking this is... Involuntary is horrid and out of control but they are following rigid rules and want to help no matter how much it seems like they don’t sometimes.
Thank you for your beautiful message
An amazing video! You’re so strong. Keep fighting, you’ll definitely beat this ED and you’re worth recovery!
As a nurse on eating disorder ward I REFUSE to use guide wires for tubes because they never come out easily
I don't know how I came across to your video, I only want to tell you THAT YOU SOOO STRONG AND YOU'RE GONNA GET TROUGH THIS. LOVE YOU GIRL
You’ve got this Angel!! Keep going!!
These comments are really supportive!Really nice people!
BDW:I subscribed!
Isnt it just beautiful.. so many lovely people in the world and I feel so blessed.
I takes guts to make this video going through this process , I wish you the best and stay strong girl !!! You got this !! 💛💓💗💗
Hang in there ❤️ you are doing so well talking yourself through it all.
Thanks so much Corinne for the validation. Makes me feel a little better about sharing. xoxo
awh she’s so beautiful
I had the same thing. It was horrible. It’s really not you so much is inducing food as it is a control mechanism. It means you’re no longer in control of what the numbers on the scale say because you can’t control your intake. I didn’t want to have the tube. I tried to leave the hospital on my own and the guards caught me at the exit. Six of them had to bring me back I was kicking and screaming. At the same time I didn’t want them to be mad at me so finally I assisted them in getting the tube down. I feel for you. It’s so hard. On top of it you still have to eat everything they give you. You’re really don’t gain much weight though. I think I gained 10 pounds in my two months. It was the happiest day when they took it out... oh my gosh what a relief
You got this!!! Proud of you ❤️
Thank you Sarah. You are definitely are such an incredible inspiration to me being able to accept help.
All the best for your recovery. You can do this
The very first time I got my NG tube it was so uncomfortable I cried until I threw it back up.
The first time I got an ng tube it was actually to drain my stomach. It didnt actually wind up doing anything. I vomited up all of the food I had managed to eat that day while they were putting the tube in. The tube wasnt even actually needed. Someone had jumped the gun. I had gone to get a ct scan and I was tubed before the results got back. (This has nothing to do with eating disorders btw. This happened when I was in the hospital for perforated appendicitis. )
Edit: I kept chocking on the tube during the night. I would wake up gagging and crying, saying that I wanted the tube out until I ripped it out like 4am half consciously.
That sounds awful.
i had an appendicitis too when i was younger, i feel so lucky now since i didn't have to go through that. i only had to get small tubes in my nose
I am so incredibly proud of you you are so insanely brave you can do this you are stronger than you think💙💙💪🏻💪🏻
Thank you for your beautiful message
you are worth it bree, you are definitely worth it
stay safe doll. you're loved
I'm so sorry you had to deal with this..I hope you are better now..just remember you sharing this can help others with this...God bless you sweetheart
Love how you did your make up
I really love your attitude!!!! You´re a very nice person ;)
Thank you for sharing x best of luck with everything x
It’s now one year later, how are you doing? Xxx
stay strong and stay safe, you are beautiful and had such a beautiful eyes, that should be without all that sadness, you worth it, you are loved, you are strong! ♥️ from Chile
I wonder how you’re doing now.
I'm free. i was in hospital for 8 months last year.. it was tough but I'm managing a lot more..You can pop over to my instagram . I'm always there. xoxo
It'sBree sending you so much love, you’re such an angel and i’m hoping you’re doing okay lovey💗
i really hope you get through this. no one deserves to feel this much pain. you are such a strong person for sharing this. good luck 💗💗
Hang in there beautiful!!!
I will honey. Sending all my love to you. xoxox
Thank you for this. 💕
I'm praying for you dear you are beautiful and you are strong God bless you thanks so much for sharing your experience.💕
I don’t know what your faith is but you are in my prayers! Stay strong, you are beautiful
thank you so much xoxox
Bree my name is Bree too and I’ve had Anorexia Nervosa since I was 10 years old. I’m 43 years old this year and don’t qualify for an ED bed because my Weight isn’t “ Low Enough “ but my bloods are terrible!!! My GP wants me in . Thank you for sharing your experience. I think your brave . I feel Everyone has given up on me . I have a new psychiatrist who is nice . I can’t count how many tubes I’ve had in my life . When I was young I was put under a “ Guardianship “ order 5 times . I just don’t know what too do . Thank you Bree .
Thank you for being in the world with me. I'm grateful you've made it through. I hope if you see my reply that on this day, you are doing better. Sending my love
Ur not alone Hun I'm praying for u ❤️❤️🙏
I wish you the very best!!!!
youre so strong, i hope you recover soon
I hope you fully recover. Good luck dear. You can do it ❤️
you are incredibly strong ❤
but still, i hope things will get easier for you
sending love ❤
Stay strong beautiful girl. I love you so much.
I love you endlessly my honey. thank you. xoxo
I've had a similar thing! It's so annoying getting admitted to medical wing when you should be on psychological team... I was admitted for suicidal ideation and attempts not an ED though x
I’ve had NG tubes numerous of times and it’s the most uncomfortable thing ever, I feel hopeless when it goes in 💔
@Mimi it doesn't feel that simple.
Bc you are no longer in control
2020 and I hope you’re doing good:)
You are quite spunky. I love it! Keep up the hard work and apply all that spunk to getting better. You are awesome and it would be a sad day to have your light diminished even a little bit.
Just wondering how your doing haven't seen an update. Praying for you.
Push through ❤️❤️
dont be embarrassed. Amd you shouldn't be embarressed about this whole experience in the hospital. When I saw you with the iv and feeding tube, and You were being strong... it made me cry. You are BEAUTIFUL.
You need support and help.
bless you daring
Xox Canada TORONTO
you are an incredible human
Proud of you!
I have a mental disorder. But I don’t have a Ed I have depression and anxiety. I have been in a program I get this. Good luck. I believe in u. U could do it.
Hey (: I hope you are doing more or less fine now! Just a word on the NG tube to anyone who is scared of getting one. I was NG tube fed for about a year, and the first time it was terrible, but now I just place them myself and it doesn't even bother me. (I don't have an ED but same tube so doesn't matter)
Sorry! Pressed send early!! Meant to say that I hope you are feeling well and are uploading soon again
Several years ago I was in a Eating Disorders Unite. And if they started talking about putting in a nasal feeding tube. I would have said "Oh Hell No." and looking back I probably would have said "Oh Hell No." to the whole Eating Disorder Unite all together. Your a lot more braver then I was I was a freaking wreck.
Thank you for sharing this with us. You are awesome! Jesus loves you and made you beautiful. Remember, God creates beautiful things.
I've been impatoent over 10 because of my mental ilnesses from the age of 12. I've been in ngtube 8 times. It is hell. Everytime it was forced and I pulled it off so many times bevause I was so mentally ill and my ed was screaming. The last time I had it I was 18 yrs old and the tube was kept for 3 months. That was the darkest times of my life. I'm now 21 and I still struggle with eating but I'm in healthy weight and I'm lot happier. What I'm saying is that if I got trought that sure as hell can you! You are so sweet and wonderful. Don't give up! If you wanna dm me my insta is girlbehindthecover I'm sending you so much love and hugs! ❤
I've been there honey but have come a long way in terms of accepting help. Even though i was forced to hospital by the police, I no longer pull my tube out or need to be restrained by security and nurses to get it back in many times a day. I want help and want to put on weight. Its just not as easy as I would hope. Thank you for opening up and sharing your story a little. I'm sorry you had to go through that but I think it does make us stronger and speaking for myself I've learned so much, as shitty as it is. You are truly courageous.
P.s, I might not message just because everything is so crazy but I'll for sure give you a follow back on insta
Just wondered how you were feeling and doing now? Hope you have
I BELIEVE IN YOU
Thank you for sharing.
I had a NG tube in my nose when I was in the hospital due to a car accident, yes it is very uncomfortable but it was the only way I could get any food. Your Beautiful and if people make you feel like you are not, ignore them because they are just jealous that you’re better and beautiful and they are the ones who are not! The Lord knows your worth and your heart ♥️! After all he helped create you! You Are worthy of love, help from others and to be here in the world 🌎!
So much love to you!
Btw I love your eye make up!! Can you do a make up tutorial when you're feeling a bit better please? 😊 xxx
I so want to do this! thank you ox
Keep fighting darling ❤
I suffer from severe purely obsessional OCD and sometimes I feel I'll never get out of it, but it's just the illness wanting me to give up. You are strong and you can get through this, we will end up stronger and we will be free again.
Thank you so much for sharing xoxox
much love to you hope you're doing good, you're not fighting alone xx