I RELATE SMMMM FOR THE TRIGGER WITH PEOPLE ASKING IF I WANT FOOD and even if I push past my disorder and say yes I want food then if someone is like “wow you were hungry” “you ate all of it?” “That’s a lot of food”
Congrats on being in recovery for soo long and sticking with it! I'm actually starting my *real* recovery this Tuesday and am shitting myself with worry... but I'm also excited to get my life back. People like YOU are soo inspiring Chris, so thank you for sharing your story
Oh wow, so much of this sounds so familiar lol. My four year anniversary of entering treatment is may 1st. The first day for me was fairly embarrassing haha.... it started of fine, it went similar to how you said. The hour drive there, interview(which took so long) all the waiting... all was fine, I felt fine all until they went through my stuff and for some reason I just lost it and started to cry and could not stop lol. They took stuff away from me... it wasn’t even important stuff, so I don’t understand?? Haha. And then after that they pretty much stuck me in a group because we couldn’t be in our rooms during the day. Of course it was nutrition group... again, lost it. Hadn’t eaten properly in how long? Haha, through sobs, I asked if I could just draw instead, the nutritionist was probably thinking who in the world is this girl? And then they wouldn’t give me water, all I wanted was water. I was so thirsty, which led me to feeling so physically sick, that when dinner came, I couldn’t eat, not because I didn’t want to, but because I was so sick to the stomach... I tried to tell them, and they would listen... they thought it was an ED thing... but I was like no, I’m about to be sick... and sure enough, it happened.. In front of everyone. The one bit of Brussel sprout I managed. I was then made to clean it up. They still thought I purged. I still had to have Ensure after. It was a horrible night. I was perfectly fine the next day. 😂
i realize i am responding to comments a few days late and yesterday was your four year anniversary of entering treatment! that's incredible & i am always so so proud and happy for you. also, i can totally relate to having trouble convincing what they view as a "behavior" not being a behavior. no one on my team ever believed me when i said my being vegetarian was not influenced by my eating disorder. they just did not want to hear it, lol. they say it so much & then you yourself start to believe it! serious mind games...lol
Keep up the good work! I was in OP treatment for anorexia nervosa, OCD, anxiety, and depression. I still take meds for the last three conditions, as well as a medication I take for a previous history of self-harm. The reason I didn't develop bulimia nervosa is that I have (and will always) emetophobia. When I had anxiety, one of my symptoms was occasional nausea. That made it much worse, but thankfully I didn't get sick.
Emetophobia is the worst and I feel like people who don’t have it (well, some of them) just don’t understand how scared we are of it. Somebody said “oh I hate being sick too” and in my head I’m like, “no. I don’t just hate it I am terrified”
I am thinking of going inpatient so I can get proper help for my ED (because my psych legit makes me worse but hey) I’m at a healthy weight but my health is slowly getting worse again and I just don’t know what to do anymore lol so I’m thinking of ip or something like that. I’m on the waiting list and could go in any moment like tonight or in two days or two weeks and I’m so nervous but I know it will help and I will get proper help. Do you guys have any advice?? It would be my first time on a ed unit
I RELATE SMMMM FOR THE TRIGGER WITH PEOPLE ASKING IF I WANT FOOD and even if I push past my disorder and say yes I want food then if someone is like “wow you were hungry” “you ate all of it?” “That’s a lot of food”
ikr.. That makes me want to just stop eating anything at all then..
Congrats on being in recovery for soo long and sticking with it! I'm actually starting my *real* recovery this Tuesday and am shitting myself with worry... but I'm also excited to get my life back. People like YOU are soo inspiring Chris, so thank you for sharing your story
Oh wow, so much of this sounds so familiar lol. My four year anniversary of entering treatment is may 1st. The first day for me was fairly embarrassing haha.... it started of fine, it went similar to how you said. The hour drive there, interview(which took so long) all the waiting... all was fine, I felt fine all until they went through my stuff and for some reason I just lost it and started to cry and could not stop lol. They took stuff away from me... it wasn’t even important stuff, so I don’t understand?? Haha. And then after that they pretty much stuck me in a group because we couldn’t be in our rooms during the day. Of course it was nutrition group... again, lost it. Hadn’t eaten properly in how long? Haha, through sobs, I asked if I could just draw instead, the nutritionist was probably thinking who in the world is this girl? And then they wouldn’t give me water, all I wanted was water. I was so thirsty, which led me to feeling so physically sick, that when dinner came, I couldn’t eat, not because I didn’t want to, but because I was so sick to the stomach... I tried to tell them, and they would listen... they thought it was an ED thing... but I was like no, I’m about to be sick... and sure enough, it happened.. In front of everyone. The one bit of Brussel sprout I managed. I was then made to clean it up. They still thought I purged. I still had to have Ensure after. It was a horrible night. I was perfectly fine the next day. 😂
i realize i am responding to comments a few days late and yesterday was your four year anniversary of entering treatment! that's incredible & i am always so so proud and happy for you. also, i can totally relate to having trouble convincing what they view as a "behavior" not being a behavior. no one on my team ever believed me when i said my being vegetarian was not influenced by my eating disorder. they just did not want to hear it, lol. they say it so much & then you yourself start to believe it! serious mind games...lol
You’ve come so far Chris 💕
thank you for sharing this. you are very brave ❤❤❤
Keep up the good work! I was in OP treatment for anorexia nervosa, OCD, anxiety, and depression. I still take meds for the last three conditions, as well as a medication I take for a previous history of self-harm.
The reason I didn't develop bulimia nervosa is that I have (and will always) emetophobia. When I had anxiety, one of my symptoms was occasional nausea. That made it much worse, but thankfully I didn't get sick.
Emetophobia is the worst and I feel like people who don’t have it (well, some of them) just don’t understand how scared we are of it. Somebody said “oh I hate being sick too” and in my head I’m like, “no. I don’t just hate it I am terrified”
That sounds so tough, i admire you for staying in recovery and working so hard for it💟
I’ve been wondering what it’s like to be inpatient for a long time. Thanks for this video 💕
thank you for this
YOU REPLIED OMG I LOVE YOU
I am thinking of going inpatient so I can get proper help for my ED (because my psych legit makes me worse but hey) I’m at a healthy weight but my health is slowly getting worse again and I just don’t know what to do anymore lol so I’m thinking of ip or something like that. I’m on the waiting list and could go in any moment like tonight or in two days or two weeks and I’m so nervous but I know it will help and I will get proper help. Do you guys have any advice?? It would be my first time on a ed unit
Its been a year, how have you been?
hope you feel better soon!
I’m leaving for inpatient tomorrow and I’ve been having a panic attack all day. I’m so scared, I hope my time there is short but I doubt it.
Survivor Swapped i know this is very late but how did it go?
I love this! Would love to hear more about it.
yay! thank you so much, sara
Love this video 💙❤️
Luna S thank you, luna!!!!
i love your channel!!
thank you so much!!
youre so cute what the hell
Holy shit are you on tik tok :oo
Where did you go for treatment?
I’m so proud of you for sharing this. Stay strong buddy you can do this
very insightful and relatable, thank you for sharing
Thank you for sharing. Im always interested in ed related things.
what unit was this?