How To Deal With People Who Take Advantage Of You
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 มิ.ย. 2024
- Setting boundaries is important especially when you're being taking advantage of. Learn ways to set boundaries so you can go live your own happy ever after.
Watch and Enjoy!
Dr. Paul Jenkins
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"If you're a giver, be sure to set your limits, because the takers don't have any."
MadRazz, great quote.
@ MadRazz what a profoundly true statement.
They really don’t
True, don’t follow them!
That's for sure!!!!!!!
You can forgive others, and still not have anything to do with them.
Yes, you can.
I recommend it! That way no possibility of more cruddy behavior to forgive in the future. Boundaries are excellent.
I totally agree
The problem is when the toxic persons are from your family and you are linked to them with important financial interests. There is no other options there than to fight them.
YES THANK YOU!
Always learn to say no always regardless of the circumstances. People who take advantage of others are the kind of people who don't know how to deal with their own problems.
We need to see that as an option, when we do, we can act on it.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Saying no to manipulative people is always important. I have no respect for people who take advantage of others because they expect them to take care of their problems for them. Some people will never learn nor take responsibility for themselves when they don't know how to deal with their own problems.
accurate
YES TO GOD . a friend i know will say no and then offer another option or suggestion instead of saying yes all the time anymore like he used to. As a christian refusing people for food or shelter is not right unless it was an unsafe situation
I said the words “No, I can’t help” yesterday and it felt amazing. Ready to start practicing standing up for myself.
Excellent me too, I'm so nice I'm starting to say no more
You got this! Mizz Mimi, you are ready to take control.
MzRadio Producer, and you are still a nice person when you say no. You are reserving the best part of you for those who mean the most and not overtaxing yourself.
Yep alot of horrible people out there
True, but there are many selfish folk who will never lift a finger to help anyone, because they are too self-centered to do anything other than putting themselves first.
I love how you said:" you get to decide how far people can come to take advantage of you"..
Agreed. So powerful when it sinks in deep.
Kindness but with strong boundaries
Yes!
“I forgive you” = “I release you, and all the pain and suffering being tied to you comes along with. I release our association. You are forgiven any outstanding debt to me, emotional, physical, or otherwise, in order for me to break free from the likely possibility of future losses with you.”
beautifully said.
Yeah, it never gets better. They never stop asking, begging. They never pay you back.
I love this. Exactly how that’s said. Mind if I keep it saved somewhere to use?
@@shannonsmith924 sure
thanks. glad to help.
I just stopped taking her calls. Blocked her completely after 35 years of a declining friendship. She's tried to contact me ( to have the last word ) I texted her a final farewell and have never looked back!
So glad that I was kind to myself, cut off a toxic relationship with resolve and moving forward without any burden. 😊
ada casas, good for you.
I’m
Had to do the same thing. I Will No Longer Be Blamed for being myself....and you can't take it!! ✌️💗
@@shelll9254 Amen! You totally speak for me in terms of a friend to finally just color-blocked
..take it to the Lord and leave it there..💯🙏
D. Royal, yes.
Higher power
If anyone is toxic set strict boundaries! Don’t be comfortable with them but don’t make them feel that you hate them. Say NO when needed. Let those people out of your life if you can! Don’t trust people too much! They can betray after YEARS!!!
Thanks for commenting, Mariam Abukamar.
This is great advice.
The problem is, nearly everyone says 'no' now. It's an assault course of immense, ongoing frustrations in some places with a high rejection rate if you want to accomplish things or even make genuine friendships.
@@clarecorcoran8585 ? Agree to disagree
I treat people good and they dont do the same.I tell myself not do it but end up doing it again.
To whoever reads this you are not alone. God bless and keep you and may you find peace and the love you deserve. You are worthy ❤
Alize Malone, love your support and positivity.
I just text someone a message and was assertive. " "No, I'm not doing it!" I felt scared.. but powerful. Once I sent it...I felt free. ❤️❤️❤️
Mathew Ridgeway, wonderful!
As they say on the airplane, secure your own life vest before helping anyone else with theirs...
So true
Exactly
Everytime I have money people are always happy and when the money is all gone they are completely different
Henry Redfern, I wouldn't let people know I have money. They need to like you for you.
Make sure you don’t spend any on them when you do have more
…then those are not your people
Sad fact!
There's several blues tunes about it.
It's awful how I had to embrace being called selfish for not wanting to let someone else force life altering decisions on me.
michelle blakely, I wish you the best.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thankyou
Yep. That’s what mother calls me
I totally understand
@@tatianahawaii13 Yeah, but she's probably right.
having courage and being kind comes off as passive aggresive
S., I am not sure why you think this. It would be in the delivery and sincerity is needed.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV you are right it is needed. i know this from experience
The final point (which most people seem to miss) is turn the tables on them. Throw them a curve ball that they weren’t expecting. Don’t just continue to fall into their playbook. If you continue to react the way they expect you to react, they will continue to take advantage of you.
Doug Ronald, yes, don't give them a reaction.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Sometimes a measured reaction is appropriate. But not passivity. It should just be a reaction they weren’t expecting. For instance, it would be like throwing the ball the your weakest player to make a basket in the final seconds when they had all their players guarding your best shooter.
Yes, "Letting go" is the best way to explain forgiveness. Thank you for explaining all of this.👋
Ana Long, You are very welcome.
Dr Ramani says that forgiving narcissists is taken by them as permission to do it again. Be careful with who you forgive.
You can forgive and have boundaries.
Dear Jesus!!! This is what I needed to hear right now.
I am glad it is right on time!
I just read a book about boundaries and have heard Berne Brown say that she found that people set boundaries are the most compassionate. This blew me away. The issue of feeling like you have been taken advantage of and not having clear boundaries can lead to feelings of resentment and bitterness and disillusionment. So it’s a step on a path that no one wants to start down. Thank you for some great insights on the subject.
@Live On Purpose TV He is always on time and Not " it"!
I called my mom the other day, told her that I forgave her before I seen this video and she said “ who’s listening? Who is with you”. I laughed and said good day ❤️.
Perfect! Keep laughing.
When I've been taken advantage of I don't always realize it at first. It takes a lot of time for me to go home and lick my wounds but I start adding things up. I helped them multiple times and now it's time to block them. My phone and social media.There is no explanation or me me kindly explaining setting boundaries. Those boundaries were already violated. The relationship is already sabotaged once you were taken advantage of.
You are the only one who will know when enough is enough and how to put boundaries in place.
I forgive you is another way of saying you didnt break me.
mike will, I like that.
But for how long do you forgive...? I believe one count u can forgive but we live in a dark world where people mistake your kindness for weakness
Wow
@@kiturselassie813 unfortunately, that's when kindness is required more... Being Kind is a superpower, so don't care about others not acknowledging it :)
Well said
It took me 50 years to say no to my mother. Her jaw dropped and she went very quiet. My father had said to me the week before that I was old enough to decide for myself. It felt amazing even though I was dreading telling her no.
So glad you were able to do this. Better days ahead.
Just do good no matter what and be Kind. If friends used you for their benefits or someone else just used you then just break contact with them and don't talk to them anymore.
CyberZeus TV, Always be kind. So important.
So powerful! I had a hard time setting boundaries with a good friend, because if this, I did something I wasn't able to do. As a result I fell and hurt myself and now I have a physical ailment that I have to live with for the rest of my life.
Ella Rae, so sorry to hear that.
I feel like I owe my friends everything ..
And I have to be willing to do things for them and I actually do things for them that they would not do for me ...
I really want to have some boundaries ..
Sidra, if you want boundaries YOU will have to be the one to enforce them. Just because you tell someone a boundary, you don't have control over their behavior, only your own. Keep that in mind.
Just found your channel and boy o boy what I wouldn’t give to have had this valuable teaching years ago… all in Universal time I suppose. The messages are always delivered when we need them. I’m hooked on your videos. Thanks for the wisdom, strategy and guidance.
Welcome aboard! Glad to have you at Live On Purpose TV.
Yeah absolutely right when family just takes a vantage of you Of your kindness and your help And doesn’t consider your feelings that’s when it’s going to stop you will figure that out sooner or later you’ll get enough of it you’ll figure it out
Thank you for watching and commenting, Sheila More.
It's not only family. That takes advantage of you it's friends to who say they really your friends I know because it happened to me multiple times that's why I really don't trust people like that I only trust me and God
I absolutely trust no one '
Oh my God you are talking about my husband’s siblings. 33 tears of taking all the time, disrespectful, acting entitled. Never once said thank you. But got mad and stopped talking when we say no.
Cut them off and walk away. No explanation required. That's what worked for me.
Thank you for sharing!
I’ve watched like 6-8 of these type of videos. This one really broke it down properly and explained forgiveness in a way that doesn’t hurt my ego lol. Thank you for the Cinderella bit, it’s really struck a chord with me.
Goomba, you are welcome, thanks for watching.
This, really really, really did help. I've been taken advantage of many times. I did not realise it until it was too late. A boundary marks self-respect, which is built gradually for some. It is an imperative to establish the boundary, even if we feel we are rocking our own world and it might come apart at the seams. I love the inflection with 'and'. It's not dismissing or disrespectful, it's establishing solid concreted territory. Thanks very much for doing this, it really helped.
Rob, thanks for taking the time to let me know it was helpful for you. I appreciate that.
I knew already I was being taken advantage
I still helped these people just waiting to confirm was I thinking right
And they stopped talking to me when I they were done
And I forgive it and u have to just know who are your real friends and who are not
Just observe and be kind still 😊
Make sure you understand the difference bwtween being kind and being taken advantage of! Sometimes you dont realise your own strengths until someone tries to take advantage of your weaknesses cause that will happen. Not everyone appreciates people like us and what we do for them it puts us down! People will go out of their way to hurt others and they dont care. Its jealousy cant they cant and wont let others be happy. Dont let people walk all over you. Dont listen to what comes out their mouth they are wrong! Dont let then dictate what you can and cant do thats control thats not right, stand your ground and dont listen. Stay safe! Listen to your heart not your mind, your heart is always right.
Thanks for the support and encouragement. We can do this.
This video is so empowering! I have watched it 2 or 3 times, then I actually said my “I love you, and” statement. Holy Cow! The freedom was unforgettable. His advice really works! Thank you so much Live on Purpose TV!!!!
Ashley Barker, thank you for trying it out. Yes, sometimes it does take more than one view to get something down, come back and watch for a re-run when you need it.
I recently am in a relationship i've decided to end and I appreciate the options you have discussed in this video.
Honored to be on your team, Vanessa Holley. Thanks for watching Live On Purpose TV.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV 😁
Your message has Godly wisdom 👍
Honored to be on your team.
Real friends don't expect anything from you. I'll be happy to help them when it is a REAL friendship. When it's reciprocal. Or I then just "Kindly separate" from them.
Thank you, wise advice. Not everyone in our lives stays forever.
I personally feel semantics are important in cutting the negative cords with people. I feel saying 'i am letting you go, have a nice life' is straight to the point. To say' i forgive you' suggests to that person that they are being let off the hook for their abuse!
Summer Breeze, there is also intent here. I am forgiving you so I can move past this and not get dragged down by it. I am forgiving you so I can be free and move on. I hear you and you get a little more clear.
Thank you, after long time of struggling with family members and going through counseling and watching countless videos, reading, i was understanding intellectually but could do it. Stuck in the place for years. This is a great video. Your example of Cinderella struck Chord with me. It opened up so many doors and i saw through the veil. I found my prince my awareness and said good bye, forgave them and also forgave myself. First time feeling free and light. Thank you. Thank you. You have no idea what I went through this morning. This is so profound. I know the anger will peak through now I know how to deal with it without getting too caught up. I figured out what that anger means i was holding on. Thank you Thank you Thank you. ❤️❤️❤️
Raja Rag, you are very welcome.
Your voice is as powerful as your message. I love watching this, every time I see your vids in my feed. Keep up the great work
Sean GoneWrong, thank you for your kind words, another recording day is on the books.
That’s where I went wrong 😑 I was renewing relationships with people who violated me rather than letting them go. I was attached to a belief and that belief became an excuse and Had remained an excuse. I’m finally saying to HELL with excuses they only attract more excuses on top of other excuses on top of peoples excuses and giving people passes because of my own excuse. I Now know what I will and won’t tolerate. Thanks.
You got this!
Thank you! Great advise indeed :D
Another word for unforgiveness is resentment. Someone wisely said to me "choosing to hold on to resentment or bitterness is like swallowing poison - and expecting the other person to die. The only one you are hurting is yourself"
Another quote that had a major impact on my life is "it is your choice whether you take offence to something someone says or not... even when the other person's intention is to offend you." It's just another way of letting go and taking control of yourself.
Great quotes, thank you.
Thanks for taking the time in providing us with these great tips. Blessings.
M M, my pleasure.
You are so comforting in the way you speak. Subscribed
Honey Baby, thank you, welcome to the channel.
You put things in such a good humour mood that it's nice to watch 🙂 Thank you for all the videos.
You are welcome, aljezur07. I'm so honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV!
This was wonderfully helpful, especially the discussion on forgiveness. Thank you so much.
Susan Coffey, you are very welcome.
Brilliant! Thank you! Love the Cinderella example!! 🙏🏻🎁💝
Thanks for watching!
You are so great at navigating good people through nasty situations! And I Love the use of popular media in this example. Your content is very enjoyable and I always learn so much. Thank you!
How gratifying, Rachel Glurich. Thank you for watching.
I needed to hear this I am struggling and I thankfully came across this video for extra advice and it was worth it. Thanx again.
You are so welcome!
Watched Speed 2x still got everything 😊
Dr. Paul, this is so so so good, thank you !
Susan Cunning, thank you for watching.
I can't believe i have been taken so much advantage of that i have bitten by my friend who got drank ,sure his biggest excuse was that he was drank but this video has brought me to tears because in that moment i felt so weak and even though i was largely more built than he was in that moment it had occurred to me that everything in a way had happened because i didn't sent my boundaries this word has triggered in me deep thankyou
Mwangelwa Kabuku, you are very welcome.
I am very glad I found this chanel!
After 2 videos and I feel a better wearness about life!
Leo Costa, thank you for letting me know. We are honored to be on your team.
Wow!! Replacing but with and!!!
The meaning is incredible, the power of the word. Thank you 🙏🏻
Heba Madi, you are welcome.
I so agree. It's brilliant.
You made me smile and give me the courage to ACT!
Rotate Aviation, honored to be on your team.
This was very helpful and timely for something I’m going through now. Thanks for posting ❤
Jason Oud, our pleasure. Good luck to you.
wow that's a life changing definition of forgiveness. Thanks!
You are welcome, Kelly.
As 'givers' we don't know when to say no cos the person we say no to may be that Angel. When we feel dry cos our well is depleted that is when we need to retreat, become invisible so the takers cannot see us. This is how we recoup and then readjust and keep going. We readjust by setting our limits and making sure we dont keep giving to those that dont value us or rather those that just use us and feel entitled to do so. 😊
I just love you Dr Paul thank you so much for helping us informing us educating us🙏🙏🌷👏
You are very welcome, Chynar.
Your speaking style has my attention, you are a good speaker! I didn’t look at the comments once until the video was over.
Awesome! Thank you! Glad you are here, Beans.
Man....your advise is so amazing. Thank you so much.
My pleasure!
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!! Thank You!
I'm so glad! alindartist, honored to be a part of your team.
Courage and be kind. But I am kind. I just don't have Courage.... Practice forgiveness... I get to desde how far people get close to me I Deside. I Love you. But you will not take advantage of me. Love the way you put all this. Ty. Creating a whole new relationship.
Jamie Cee49, Sounds like you got this.
Awesome renew or release! Thank you
Our pleasure!
When ignoring them makes them angry, apparently I need to tell them that I don't have time to listen to their selfish talk anymore. I mean, when most people I meet are users, it really ruins one's life. It's unacceptable behaviour to ruin someone's life especially a kind person.
time to change up our friendships and I am glad you are in our positive community.
How can you let go and "forgive" if it still hurts so much? This is so hard!
Yes yes yes...i remembered that show..watched it with my fiancee and daughter...tears came to my eyes when Cinderella forgave her stepmother...awsome movie
Ryan Ramnarine, it is powerful.
Your amazing i love how you respond to everyone
I try, I hope I don't miss anyone.
Im literally in tears ugh Thankyou !
You are welcome, I think. I am glad the video was helpful, marissa barragan.
You are awesome and right on the mark with this video!!!!! Humanity do ya want to move ahead?? Watch this video and practice it daily!!!! Truth is Fabulous ! And speaking the truth is the way forward! Thank you!
Well said! Thank you.
This was SUPER. Thank you for giving us practical ways on how to move on from mistreatment. Thank you 🙏🏽
Glad it was helpful!
I love the way you put a different perception on everyday words to help build confidence 😊🤗🤗
Nick N, thank you.
Dr. Paul Jenkins is a good teacher.
Elier Melendez, thanks!
Great talk again, Dr. Paul!
Glad the video was helpful, Isabel Gil.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Roseland McGuire, glad we have TH-cam to connect.
Very much benefitting from your wisdom, thank you.
S M, thank you for watching.
Thanks for this AWESOME VIDEO.
Glad you liked it!
Omg I'm so lucky I found this video, it changed my way of thinking a lil bit and made me realise a lot of things..
Thank you very much, I'm subscribing 💫
I'm so glad! Amira Chan, welcome to Live On Purpose TV.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you Sir
Thanks for this video learned some new stuff
Please watch for the newer videos coming soon.
The universe bought me here
So glad it did! Please stay a while.
But how many times do u have to forgive them.... if it’s happening over n over? Say people don’t get it and keep being reoffenders?!
Life with Jimmy, put boundaries into effect so it can't keep happening.
I think that is when you make a decision to release. I have done this with friends, and close family.; it is absolutely freeing, and has brought peace and calm into my life.
@@sparkytoday8455 I heard people now saying they do a living funeral for people they want out of their lives!! It sounds so morbid. It simply means…. They consider them gone?!😳
Maybe that's a relationship that you need separate yourself from.
@@flowerpower2079 yup
I find these so helpful- thank you!
I'm so glad!
Thank's I needed this! 💥
William Maldonado, glad you are here at Live On Purpose TV.
Thank you..am enjoying your helpful videos
Jane Struan, I am so glad.
That and/but thing was awesome! Thank you!
You're welcome!
You are a natural , I love your technique and style
Thank you so much!
Ah!! One of my favorites! Thank you!!
Thanks! Glad you are here at the channel.
I like how you said practice forgiveness
I'm very bad at forgiving people and would never talk to you again.
Yes i love that one renew or release
Egoiste, honored to be on your positivity team.
Great advice, Thank you.
Iza Waniek, you are welcome.
There was this boy, and he confessed to me; so I cried all day, but after this video I felt better and told him . Thank you
After he confessed to me, he started sending me love TikTok’s and started sending me love stuff, and I didn’t like him back, so I told him. That’s what I meant lol.
Wish you the best.
I am stronger since finding your channel. Thank you.
Thank you, Judith Robinson. Honored to be on your team.
Great teacher... Thank you
Thank you, Vicky Kale, honored to be on your team.
Thank you so much man😊
You are welcome.
I like your words and advice. Thank you from Scotland
Thank you for watching, A Leen. Honored to be on your team.
Great advice! Thanks!!!
Lisa, honored to be on your team.
I discovered that I am an agreeable person, therefore I’m taken advantage of…My troubled mother and former boyfriend are my most challenging relationships…I feel bad for them therefore I’m controlled by them, I have a hard time saying no because I’m afraid to loose them😢
Consider some coaching to help you, achievetodaycoaching.com/paul.
This is really helpful. Thank you.
You are very welcome.
Thank you!
You are welcome, Isabel Gil. Thanks for watching and being at Live On Purpose.
Brilliant! Thank you Sir🙏😊
You are very welcome.